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#this is so stupid but when it comes to the skywalker-kenobi-tano-fett family it's funny
omgahgase · 9 months
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obi-wan: aaah, finally. i have time all to myself
anakin and ahsoka, barging into his home: prepare for trouble!
obi-wan, already feeling a headache coming on: well, it can't get worse than you two—
luke and leia: and make it double!
obi-wan: oh great heavens
*meanwhile cody from the kitchen*
cody: cyare, if anyone else walks through those doors, i will get violent
fives and echo: *crawls in through the window*
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the196thbattalion · 4 years
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star wars human! high school! au
i’ve seen so many headcanons circling throughout the star wars tumblr about high school au’s, so i wanted to share my bit with all of you :D
anakin skywalker
five words: REBEL CHILD ON A MOTORCYCLE.
he doesn’t like riding the school bus because it makes him feel extremely claustrophobic, so he scrapped and scavenged up parts to make his own customized motorcycle, which he lovingly dubbed artoo.
the blue and silver detailing was the joint effort of ahsoka and obi-wan, because anakin doesn’t know how to paint.
if he can catch up to the bus, he’ll ride alongside it and flip off the students on it before revving on ahead of them. (the freshmen think it’s the funniest thing in the universe)
probably one of the most well-known juniors in the entirety of temple high school (mostly because of his shenanigans but partly because he’s dating padme fuckiNG AMIDALA, PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE DAMN SCHOOL)
he always wears this worn-down leather jacket his mom gave to him before she passed away, and refuses to take it off, even though it’s somehow “a violation of the dress code and should be outlawed.”
his hair alone has seduced eight different students (boys and girls)
sometimes during study hall, ahsoka or padme will get a hold of his hair and style it into little braids or make a super rad ponytail.
he really likes iced coffee with milk and sugar. he puts in the milk to make it nice and light (it’s aesthetically pleasing, obi-wan!), and then like eight tablespoons of sugar to make it actually taste good.
his favorite class is mechanics, taught by kit fisto.
anakin spent months on a mechanical arm project to replace his clunky plastic prosthetic, and he was so freaking happy when it was finished; he almost cried. (he did cry and ahsoka got it on video)
obi-wan kenobi
a mixture of the soft™, pretty™, hippie™, grunge™, vsco™ and nerd™ tropes.
he really likes peppermint tea with lots of honey but takes his coffee black.
he has had too much tea.
someone needs to stop him.
almost all of his classes are ap courses, and if cody hadn’t been watching when obi-wan was making his schedule, all of them would be.
him, cody and padme have ap english with mace windu, and cody knows how much his classes stress him out, so he lets obi-wan sleep during class and sends him the notes
the only ap class obi-wan doesn’t take is mechanics, and he shares that class with anakin.
anakin and obi-wan are super close with each other. kenobi was there when ahsoka was adopted, and anakin was there when kenobi got his cat. (they were like 5 okay)
“NAME IT C3PO OBI-WAN, OR I SWEAR TO FUCK-” “what kind of name is that, and why would i - anAKIN PUT HIM DOWN!?”.
mr. fisto constantly has to split them up for disrupting the class, but it’s almost like they can communicate telepathically, and the teachers have a running bet
mace windu literally bet $50 on these fucking nerds so you know it’s for realsies
in reality, they’ve just gotten super creative with passing notes.
kind of off topic, but he has these brown harry potter glasses that he uses (kinda for reading???? but mostly so he can do that anime pushing up glasses thing)
cody thinks it’s the funniest shit ever
whenever cody is feeling stressed, obi-wan just does the thing™ and BOOM! happiness.
people think he’s a goodie two shoes, and honestly, it’s really easy to think that. if the iconics are trying to do something stupid, he’s usually the voice of reason.
but parties?
you know what, just ask anakin for the video footage.
ahsoka tano
this hs!au ahsoka tano turned me bisexual confirmed ✔
okay before i go into her style, which is mainly what made me drool over my computer, can i just put skatergirl!ahsoka out there?
spray painting of the rebellion symbol all over the bottom of her board and on items in a couple of the places where she skates the most (like the back of an abandoned car yard)
her instagram is filled with these super cool vhs-tape recorded skate videos (u know)
lots crackhead 3am visits (starring anakin, rex, kenobi and barris) to a gas station to get slushies and grind the shit out of the curb connecting the store to the parking lot
trying to teach anakin how to skateboard but he just can’t figure it out? uh yes
“try to balance skyguy!” “HOW DO I MOVE? DO I SCOOT? SNIPS THIS ISN’T FUNNY AND I WANT TO GET OFF – GUYS, STOP LAUGHING!”
okay okay okay i’m done
for now
anyway, her style???? is so???? fucking????? cool!!!!!
her genetics gave her a 80% of having vitiligo, so it really wasn’t a surprise when patches of her skin got lighter, but it still freaked her out a little bit.
basically, went like this: “DAD, I’M TURNING WHITE!” “???? oh my gosh ‘soka, no.”
she has long braided dreadlocks she dyed a super bright orange with various colored beads woven into them with the help of anakin and padme. she usually styles them into little space buns atop her head.
her entire clothing wardrobe consists of fishnets, neon bomber jackets, at least 11 bisexual beanies™, handmade patchy jeans, white tank tops, and light-up platform shoes.
she doesn’t give two flying fucks about the dress code, and – IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOST BUSY HALLWAY - punched principal sidious over whether or not she “could wear shorts that short” (anakin may or may not have cheered when she broke his nose).
the fetts (chuck have mercy)
*cracks le knuckles* i’ve put it off long enough
we have: fox (24), wolffe (19), cody (17), rex (17), echo (16), fives (16), boil (15), waxer (14), hardcase (13), jesse (12), longshot (8), kix (6), tup (3), gree (2) and boba (9mo)
wolffe is off at college - fox already graduated and moved out, that cheeky little fucking shit - but both still keep in good contact with the fam, and it’s a constant clamor between eleven of the siblings of who gets to talk to them first
fox majored in government/politics, bly is majoring in space/astronomy, and wolffe is majoring in police/law enforcement shit (i don’t know how college works, so sue me)
cody and rex are juniors, and despite their similar looks, the amount of schoolwork each of them completes drastically varies
cody is the honor roll student, valedictorian, whatever you want to call it
rex kinda just either does the work really well or 9/10 times gets distracted by anakin or ahsoka sending him some nice spicy memes
cody tried to tutor rex but it ended up almost landing tup in the hospital
“that’s really simple, actually. if you – vod? rex, are you okay? what are you oH NO TUP DON’T PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH-”
fetts on the varsity football team is like a right of passage in the family
right now, only the juniors of the fett family are on the team, but the coach has eyes on fives and echo for next years team
SPEAKING OF
echo, fives and boil are the infamous sophomore trio that pulled the milk bucket prank on the gym teacher, pong krell.
they had to help the janitor (99) clean up afterwards, but they genuinely enjoyed 99’s company, because he’s rad as shit and knows all the secret school passageways.
to be honest, not one person (except maybe sidious) was complaining
that motherfucker makes everyone run like eight laps during gym class
even mr. windu gives them a small smile in the hallways after that
boil says he was blackmailed into it
waxer is a freshman (the poor dude, i’m so sorry), and he always looks out for the nervous freshies
if someone is having a bad day, he’ll give them a lollipop (he carries around a whole bag), a place to sit during lunch, and a shoulder to cry on
all you need to do to find waxer is to locate this long ass line of children
the school counselor, plo koon, sometimes brings his niece numa into school during the day because he can’t find a babysitter, and waxer. fucking. loves. her. PERIOD.
w+n pull these tiny little pranks on teachers, and the staff pretends not to notice, but numa always giggles and gives them away.
boil has a soft spot for numa too, and sneaks her rice krispies.
bonus shit i want to add in but can’t figure out where to put it (or i’m just gonna add it on and shit)
plo koon adopted anakin after his mother died (him and anakin’s mother were good friends), and found ahsoka on the side of the street, shivering like a maniac.
he doesn’t know where ahsoka came from, but he loves her so gOD DAMN MUCH.
he’s the school counselor, and still keeps in touch with a lot of students even after the graduated (he thinks that majoring in law enforcement/police is a bit dangerous for wolffe but he still supports his unofficial but basically son 100%)
yoda is the super old but radically rad english teacher.
his entire point of existence in my mind fic is to troll the shit out of palpatine.
a recent conversation starring yoda and palps: “did you give the students the mountain of extra work i assigned them?” “for the students, that was?” i’m sorry. my bad, that is.” “this is the seventh time, yoda.”
okay but for real
mace windu violently roots for the school football team.
“BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM, CODY! YOU TOO...OTHER CODY!”
“THAT’S A HOLDING! THAT’S A HOLDING!”
“REF IF YOU DON’T COUNT THAT TOUCHDOWN THEN I SWEAR TO SAMUEL L. JACKSON I WILL COME DOWN THERE AND BEAT YOUR SORRY PINSTRIPED ASS!”
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