#this is still incoherent but i felt like i needed to put it down somewheree

[yugocar]

hmm so i’ve been trying to put this into words for ages and i always fall short of it, but here i am trying again and it has to with this weird relationship i’ve had with really famous brands in the usa. growing up it was always disheartening when i would get really excited about trying subway for the first time or starbucks or anything like that, and then talking to people from the west about it only for them to be very dismissive and judgemental about it. it makes total sense really, and a lot of the times they were correct about their assessment of said brand/chain but there is something so particular about growing up not having access to any of the popular of famous things that were part of pop-culture on tv and on the internet. it leaves you feeling, or at least it did for me, so cut off from what feels like the entire world and in turn makes you feel so excited when you do interact with them, even though these images are obviously very idealised. when i first went to starbucks i was so giddy. “look im like the people on tv! look i have access to all these fancy and varied products!” it made me feel so visible, so fancy. i’ve grown now and obviously have a very different opinion of a lot of these brands, but i still don’t really have the heart to reprimand myself when i get excited about something like going to dunkin’ donuts. i’ve also learned not to talk to people who haven’t had this experience, to allow myself for that moment not to be spoiled. their context is completely different and that’s okay, i can keep this for myself.