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#this is still the single stupidest thing ive ever done but behold
the-kipsabian · 1 year
Text
is kip sabian a tumblr sexyman
//kinda heavily edited 7/28/23. im trying to be more neutral about this, still keeping this within just the on-screen character. added in a few more things that are on the list linked below, so the results have actually kinda drastically changed now these are still just my opinions and ofc this doesnt negate how hes really perceived, its just interesting to see this being called out so many times but when you put actual evidence on it, boy how the tables turn lmao
so we all have probably heard the question by now
seeing this post on my dash, i have found resources now to see for myself, collect data and give you the actual result to this burning question
i got you tropes, my takes on them and whether they apply to him under the cut. things to note, this is my personal view tho im trying to keep it neutral, and im only tackling the on-screen character as its been portrayed on tv and some other special occasions when it has specifically shined through (take him invading ocs streams for example)
green is yes red is no yellow is maybe anything in italics are an edit from the original post
4th wall blurring - technically wrestling is already very blurred lines, but take the kip/oc feud for example and the lengths he took it to on social media, twitch etc. outside the ring
Androgynous - arguable, its the eyeliner for me bro. that and the way he carries himself. currently this also includes the hair/hair colors and the eye shadow. gender is a social construct
Animal theming
Angst - it depends how you view it. its not like full blown angst sadness, but it sure does exist, especially with how he talks about himself tbh
Bait - he just organically formed into this shape. i dont believe he specifically designed this style or characteristics to make himself be perceived as a tumblr sexyman
British
Burton
Capitalist
Chaoslord
Chronokinetic
Criminal
Cosmic
Clown
Controversial - i dont know why some of yall hate him so much but apparently people do so. whatever
Deadpan snarker - he can be, but not to a point of a defining character trait
Dealmaker
Detective
DILF - not yet
Distinctive voice - so the source list updated this to feature catchphrases and yes. "embrace the change", "time doesnt heal it changes you", "underrated and over it". you get the deal
Divorced
Dominating - there are cases. but mostly i think hes just a pathetic fool idk. but also this is a theming in wrestling in general so like. go figure
Duality - with and without the box, there is a difference
Egotistical
Eldritch - only in fanon i think ive seen this one. and partially personally applied this one lol (tho i mean idk if we get the box back in some form we might see more hints about this so it might turn into a maybe!!)
Eye imagery
Fanon splintering
Forest Dweller
Gay/LGBTQ+ coded
Girlboss
Glowing neon
Goo
Himbo - okay listen. as much as i would LOVE to mark this one as a solid yes, since we are strictly talking about boxman era and after on-screen kip, this doesnt stand, as he doesnt show himbo behavior on camera. im keeping it as a maybe tho, just for the sake of showing that im aware and i care <3
Hot-headed
Intelligence - also counts for the sub category smartdumb. an idiotic mastermind
Johnlocked - dont get me wrong, ive seen ships, but i dont think its ever been super extensive or overpowering. yall need to work harder lol. unfortunately despite my personal bias and seeing its growth in popularity, i still cannot mark this even as a maybe
Knifemurder
Mad scientist
Magnificent bastard - im just gonna copy the definition here. "As per TV Tropes, a Magnificent Bastard is a "villain (or morally gray character at best) portrayed as confident, charming schemers who thinks on their feet, outsmarts their competitors with style and grace, and remains graceful even in the event of defeat"."
Marked canon/fanon divergence
Monster features
Mysterious - boxhead in the crowd for months building intrigue + the unadvertised meet and greets at events. plus seemingly extensive lore we never get/got, unexplained box mysteries, etc.
Neurodivergent - i was thinking about excluding this, but he talks about his adhd so openly PLUS a big part of boxman came from the depression and anxiety of when he was on the shelf after surgery so. it counts for me
Nonhuman
Object head
Obscured face - technicality, but i count it as he wore the box for so fucking long. we didnt see his actual face for literally a year
Obsessive - HAVE YOU SEEN HOW OFTEN HE TWEETS AT OC i rest my case
Oncelerization
Pale twink - im making a personal decision to say no on this as none of the definitions really hit the mark like, at all. literally the only ones on the list are 'young' and 'dude' like. nope
Parental figure
Parental issues
Pathetic - A THOUSAND TIMES YES
Perpetual smiler - he gets the shit kicked out of him in the ring and still fucking laughs at it on the spot
Power
Power of love - yall have seen penelope, right?
Religious imagery - no, but marking sub category demonic as a maybe since connections to penelope
Retro - this is interesting, im putting it down as maybe since its not really showing but the current design choices with the grayscale gear makes me think about old timey stuff
Robot
Royalty
Scars
Secret agent
Short
Tall - im withdrawing this one, since the definition is "really/abnormally tall" and hes only 5'11 so. this was marked as a 'maybe' before
Teacher figure
Theme song
Thin - "characters that are fairly slim but dont fit under pale twink" i can accept this lol
Traitor/Twist villain
Twisted freaking cycle path
Unkempt
Upper class - i dont necessarily consider it but i guess. keeping this as a maybe since the suit aesthetic is very high class so
Urban legend aesthetics - CRYPTID RIGHTS FOR KIP
Villain/Morally gray/Refined villain/Technically antagonist
Well-dressed/Suitguy/Long coat - suit, pinstripes, long coat. i kind of want to also say the alt fashion counts here since he can be very emo but you know
White twink humanization - all im asking is that you dont humanize that box. please
White hair
29/75 40/75 6/75
final thoughts:
so i see where this thought comes from. he definitely hits like some of the biggest tropes (fancy british man with an object head, a stupidly catchy theme song and catchphrases, a hot wife and a plan to dominate orange cassidy the world), but we are also missing some obvious ones like him being just a stupid murder whore so like. go figure
this is a very subjective list im aware, there are a few things that could probably be seen differently but i, as a self proclaimed Expert And Conspiracy Theorist In The Kip Sabian Space™, will hold this belief system until someone tells me otherwise lmao
anyways this was just for fun dont take this as seriously as i did the first time around lol. enjoy, just dont argue with me. if you need any tropes need explaining, look at the link above and/or just ask and i'll let you know what i was thinking with marking them if there arent notes explaining or if they are confusing
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