#this is truly some of the most incredible fiber art i have ever seen

[oakfern]

Rugs from Ancestral Bodies, Simone Elizabeth Saunders, 2021.

Left: A Prayer. Hand-tufted acrylic and cotton yarn on rug warp. Right: Cosmos : Creation. Hand-tufted velvet, acrylic and wool yarn on rug warp.

more from the artist: site | instagram | sales

[btsandvmin]

What made you like Jimin individually and Taehyung individually ? And do you have a slight preference between the two ?

I love all the members so much, and for me picking a bias is still kind of difficult. I have concluded that I do bias both Jimin and Tae but kind of switch between them at different times for different reasons. As for a bias wrecker I legit cannot choose and it changes all the time.

The way I got into BTS was through the BST MV and then trying to learn the members (the first one I learned and checked up on was Namjoon). I also got fascinated by the BU storyline as storytelling and analysis/reviews is a big hobby of mine (the fandoms I’ve been in are many, and character/story analyses/reviews/theories are something I have engaged in a lot). 

On top of that I work in the media industry and have an interest for visual storytelling as well and I got hooked by the concepts, the beautiful MV and the both story-based and symbolical clues they left. I also loved their music and like groups in general because of the interesting vocal dynamics you can create.  Basically, BTS managed to hit all my buttons and I had to look up more.

Mind you, I barely knew the members' names properly and I was already investigating the meaning of their MV and storyline. I listened to their album and loved the songs before I could tell which member was who. (Both Awake and First love made me cry without even knowing the lyrics).  I also have to mention how much I love both of Vmin’s voices, who are both very unique and interesting. I basically biased their voices before I knew who they were. (Fun or sad fact but I am really bad with faces and actually learned the members' singing voices before their faces.)

Let’s just say that I got into the music and visuals/concept first, and then started to consume material to get to know the members. They all also had incredible chemistry between each other and reminded me a lot of one of my favorite j-pop groups with their dynamics. 

What I started to watch was “get to know them” videos and recent interviews and clips, meaning from BST era. It was hard for me to not notice Jimin (even though vocal line were the ones I had the hardest time separating from each other in the very beginning). And perhaps even more so since the introduction videos tended to have a lot better and varied things to say about Jimin amongst vocal line. But even on his own Jimin simply stood out to me during the BST era when I joined. He took a lot of space in the group as a performer (especially with his high notes, his dancing, his hair and his outfits all combined) but also as an individual in off stage material. I fell for his voice and performance and the “Jimin effect” was hitting me hard. 

I also related to him a lot. I am a sort of clingy but shy person who is a perfectionist and likes being in control. I also thought he was both cute and funny without being too over the top with things like aegyo (I mean, we all know he is horrible at it when he tries to do it on purpose). I think the way Jimin is so open (though private) makes him easy to understand and relate to. He has a lot of different moods and there is an honesty in how much he shows us even though he clearly still remained in control.

As time went by, I found myself focusing on Jimin more than the other members and I realized my bias. I was simply drawn to him more than the others from the start. That in turn brings me to Taehyung... Because honestly, at the time it was impossible not to notice their closeness. And looking up a lot of old material, where Jimin was there was also Taehyung. They were very clingy and had a lot of cute interactions. One of the first things I watched of their more off-stage material was also Bon Voyage in Scandinavia (being from there myself I was extra curious) and the Vmin moments in there just cemented their bond for me.

I am not saying I only appreciate Tae for ship reasons, simply that Vmin got my attention early on and that did make me focus more on Taehyung as well. I thought as many that he was a bit odd, but very funny and playful, that he was incredibly good-looking (my opinion from the start was that JK and Tae were the most good-looking) but also a bit difficult to read. Taehyung made me want to understand him, and I was interested in him for quite different reasons than how I related to Jimin. I love him for his way of thinking and how he seems to have this innocence or happiness in the small things about him. Like, Tae getting lost in Sweden but still being happy about the small adventure, enjoying himself and stopping to blow on a dandelion might just be one of the most endearing things I have ever seen. (Honestly, another point I relate to Jimin on so much is his love for Tae and how he just makes us smile no matter what he does.)

Of course, as they change and as I get to watch them more, the more I find to love and appreciate (as well as flaws of course) and now I would say all the members are just very precious to me and I love them both for who they are on their own and for their bond as a group. It is impressive and not to be understated how rare it is to find a bond like theirs. I have seen many groups, and few are as compatible as BTS, and few seem to truly love each other the way they do.

But as for bias it will likely always be Jimin and Taehyung unless there is some drastic change.

For Jimin I love the way he dances while controlling every fiber of his body, the way he pours love into all his relationships but isn’t afraid to call people out, the way he keeps getting funnier (I think Jimin’s sense of humor is so underrated), the way he acts like an angel but actually has the whole world fooled (and he knows it), the way he shows his emotions so animatedly no matter if he gets annoyed or laughs with his whole body, the way he knows his principles and stands his ground when he believes in something, the way he works so hard to improve and better himself both as a performer and as a human, the way he thinks about things deeply and is so eloquent with how to express it, the way he is there for both ARMY, his members and even strangers because he is empathic to his core. There is a lot to love with Jimin, and he always makes sure to return that love when deserved.

For Taehyung I love the way he stand against the norms, the way he shows it’s ok to be different and embrace himself and others without judgement, the way he almost plays with us when he performs, the way he sings with such emotion and how he loves to express himself through all kinds of art forms, the way he learns and take in valid criticism but isn’t afraid to call bullshit, the way he knows when to be serious but also the importance of having fun, the way he is both the biggest dork and a fierce performer at once (I mean he can be so unapologetically silly and then suddenly switch to lethal seduction), the way his unique way of thinking opens up to new points of view, the way he can’t help but show his excitement or love for something and wants to share it with the people around him. He goes all out when he loves something and doesn’t hide his opinions when he doesn’t. Taehyung is just a very honest (though perfectly capable of lying and fooling us thank you very much) and incredible person that I both admire and adore.

There is just so much, and even small things get to me, like don’t get me started on their smiles, or even just their habits when they laugh... (how Tae usually laughs quietly but once in a while will let out these light giggles, or the way Jimin seem to automatically covers his face when he laughs).

I love them both to death (as all the members). It is not easy to just sit down and pour years of love into words, but I tried. I love them both as singers, performers, artists, and humans. I also love them as soulmates and how much they both just spread love and positivity to the people around them. The impact they have had on me, and surely many of you, is hard to comprehend. I am so lucky and happy that I decided to become a fan of this wonderful group and these wonderful people.

Phew, that was a lot wasn’t it? All opinion based, probably a bit hard to understand and not very well structured either. This is all just a flow of consciousness, and I likely forgot to mention a lot of things I could have said. Even so I hope you found it a nice read. :) Thank you for the ask.

[fuller-writing]

Knowledge is Power

The grainy surveillance footage was from the 7-11 across from Kalela Jones’s house. The policeman pointed at her dot sprinting towards her front door and then to the man following her, Tony Albeniz.

On the screen, Dr. Jones seemed to trip and almost topple over. She paused for a second, and then continued running. Later, Martin identified her expensive high heels that she had been so proud of lying forgotten in a snowbank. The right shoe had a broken heel, and Martin knew that while she ran from her attacker, nothing else had mattered to her except escape.

The video showed the man approaching Kalela as she frantically tried to unlock her door. At first, he only shouted and pleaded with her. Eventually, he grabbed her arm and Kalela shrieked and kicked out her leg in his direction. He jumped back and her bare foot scraped uselessly across the ice of her driveway. She redoubled her efforts to open the garage door, strange sobs escaping her throat.

“Please, Dr. Jones, just tell me. I swear, no one else will find out. You have my word,” Tony Albeniz had told the police later that he’d said that.

Kalela shoved him away and managed to lock herself inside her house. For a moment, the video surveillance seemed peaceful as Albeniz seemed to be walking away.

Inside, Kalela pulled out her cell phone and dialed 9-11.

April 2, 2020. 11:15 EST

Martin had worked with Dr. Jones since they were both in college and he had never seen her lose control like this. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, which practically vibrated with fear. If her emotion hadn’t been a huge factor in their experiment, he wouldn’t have cared. On his worse days, he might have relished in her stress.

Martin exchanged a look with Andrea, who held Dr. Jones’s right hand. For a second, they battled silently about who should comfort Dr. Jones, and in the end, he lost.

“You’re ready,” He said. Martin knew Dr. Jones would appreciate the succinctness of his compassion. As it was, she still glared coldly at him, just will less energy than usual.

“I am,” Dr. Jones agreed.

When she stood, she looked as statue-like as ever. All traces of doubt left her figure and she began placing the electrodes on her forehead and heart with admiral detachment. When she was ready, she nodded once to Martin and Andrea, before calmly striding to her execution chair.

Martin, Andrea, and the twelve assistants took their places, none of them sparing a glance at Dr. Jones. Now, she was just another practice dummy. The beats of her heart echoing through the chamber sounded no different than the simulation.

It seemed to Martin as though the team worked to the beat of Dr. Jones’s heart. On the diastole of the beat, he engaged the program. On the systole, he typed in the first command. On the diastole, the fourth in command administered the first shock. On the systole, another shock. After two more, Dr. Jones’s heart beat one last long diastole and gave out.

Without her heart to guide them, the work felt more chaotic and terrifying. The worst part was that there was nothing left to do now except wait and monitor for four full days. As the team began to turn their computers to autopilot and discuss the experiment in low voices, Andrea clapped Martin on the back. The pat felt more like she was trying to dislodge a piece of food from his throat than encouragement, but he smiled wanly at her. He doubted he would sleep for the next four days.

April 6, 2020. 11:15 EST

Life went on while Dr. Jones turned grayer. The machines kept her cells from rupturing and releasing the enzymes that would decompose her body. For all intents and purposes, Dr. Jones was dead; Her brain and heart no longer sent signals through her body. But the team kept enough of her body fighting that bringing her back would be possible, even after four days. The hardest part was maintaining her consciousness throughout the procedure.

For years, Dr. Jones and Martin had researched. Well, Martin thought ruefully, Dr. Jones had researched and Martin, a Harvard graduate, had brought her take-out. Finally, three years ago, Dr. Jones created ‘the thinker’. This machine didn’t really think, but used a tiny part of Dr. Jones brain to channel conscience streams onto its hard drive. When she woke, Dr. Jones could examine ‘the thinker’s’ conscience as though it were her own.

Martin wasn’t worried about waking Dr. Jones. Her body was in optimal condition for resurrection. All day they had worked slowly to revive her organs and remove some waste products that had built up. Now it was as simple as restarting her heart with the defibrillators.

“Ready?” Martin whispered into the intercom.

A shock went through the body. Then another one. For ten whole minutes of terror, Martin thought it might not work. But then the assistant at station 8 announced that she was breathing. Four doctors approached Dr. Jones and their fiddling obscured her from Martin’s view.

“We have to download the memories now, before she can make true sense of the real world. Otherwise they might be tainted by her experiences now,” Andrea reminded Martin.

Martin commed to the 8th assistant as much. One of the doctors pressed the ‘eject’ button. It took only a second for Dr. Jones to process her new memories, but in that time Martin could tell something was terribly wrong. Her eyes screwed up like she might sneeze, and then she screamed and didn’t stop until her voice gave out.

August 29, 2020. 18:12 EST

“Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Dr. Kalela Jones, Nobel prize winner for physiology and medicine and the scientist that recently discovered the answer to humanity’s oldest question: what happens after death.”

Kalela squeezed Martin’s hand once before she stood. He didn’t start when she made gestures of affection like this anymore. This new and softer Kalela had taken some getting used to, and even more surprising was that Martin actually quite liked her when she wasn’t so stuck-up. The audience clapped politely, although they stopped quickly, too eager to hear Kalela talk.

“Thank you,” She smiled graciously, “Thank you New York City for inviting me to this incredible dinner. I must be completely forthright with you: my decision has not changed. I will not now or ever release the contents of my fifteen year investigation. I will take this secret to the grave and it will die with me. I have found the bounds of science. More than anything else, I have discovered a branch of science that should never again be investigated. There are some things that humans are not meant to know. Not yet, although you will find out eventually.

“I have discovered the power of knowledge over and over through my years, but this is the most conclusive evidence I have ever found that humans are slaves to curiosity. My team and I are most guilty of this. We sought power over our curiosity. We achieved that power, and now I must wield it wisely. There is no higher responsibility in my life than ensuring that no one else ever repeats this experiment or endeavors to understand death again. If you looked at the ramifications of this knowledge logically, you would agree with me.

Religion would become extinct or else transmogrify into a horrible cult-like imitation. Without the fear of the unknown, murder, war, and suicide would increase. Everything that once was beautiful because of the immediacy of death will dim: music, art, laughter, family. No amount of grandieur or money’s worth the collapse of society.

That being said, my various patents and notes on the subject have been destroyed. Anyone wishing to know the answer will simply have to wait, or waste years of their life recreating my inventions.”

Kalela’s voice dropped in volume and she spoke tenderly, as if to a child.

“I can tell you this. There is nothing so important as life. You’ve heard it all before, but cherish every second and especially every person. Something I’ve realized is that the thing we call power which humans crave with every fiber of their being is truly a craving for love and admiration. With love comes responsibility. A responsibility to our loved ones and to that which we love. A promise that we will not destroy each other for personal gain. A promise that we will be loved and love as many people as possible. I swear to you that if you do this, you will feel powerful.”

Kalela nodded to the silent audience. It was the first time in Martin’s memory that an audience did not clap. Some were obviously angry, while others looked thoughtful. Everyone was too absorbed in their thoughts to notice Kalela’s quiet descent from stage.

August 29, 2020. 21:47 EST

“Please don’t make me walk home alone,” Kalela said, her hand hovering over her seatbelt, her eyes pleading with Martin.

Martin glanced at the bus, where the driver looked pointedly at his watch.

“Sorry ‘Lela, I really do have to get going. I’ll see you at work tomorrow, yeah?”

Kalela looked like she wanted to storm off, and six months ago, she would have. But tonight she only smiled her forgiveness and hugged Martin with one arm. Martin watched her head of enormous hair disappear and boarded the bus again.

September 20, 2020. 14:47 EST

Later, a combination of the police, Tony Albeníz, and security footage helped Martin piece together what had happened on Kalela’s fateful walk home.

Albeníz, a desperate, sad man, had followed her all the way from the dinner in the City. Neighbors reported screaming for minutes before the first gunshot, which had shattered Kalela’s patio door, but missed her. The second bullet shattered part of her rib cage and ruptured her liver.

In her case, it didn’t matter at all that Kalala hadn’t suffered much. All Martin could think of was her horrible drawn out scream after she woke up after her experiment.

He turned the small leatherbound diary over in his hand. It was the only record Kalela hadn’t destroyed, although he didn’t understand why she hadn’t. Or why she had left it to him in her will, but Martin knew what he had to do. She was giving him the option to know information that Tony Albeniz had been willing to kill for. He supposed it was her way of saying…he didn’t know. Maybe ‘sorry’ for treating him so poorly for most of their time together. Maybe as a sign of respect to him for standing by her side for so long. Maybe. But he couldn’t help thinking that, knowing Kalela, it was probably a test. Did he trust her enough to heed her last warning?

He stuffed the book under the fold of the ridiculous dress the embalmers had stuffed her into. “I guess you really will take this secret to the grave,” he murmured. Martin thought that Kalela would have liked his attempt at humor. He took one last look at the body, so much like how he’s seen her for those four days before everything changed.

As he walked away, he remembered one more thing, “Thank you.”

[yogidreamz-blog]

waves:karmic destiny

          It is easy in life to get so wrapped up in our heads about where we want to be, that we forget to appreciate where we are. Anxiety happens when we are constantly looking towards the future.. Worrying about the outcome and cultivating attachments, which ultimately leads to suffering. Karma is about doing, the word actually translates to action. What we do now, in this present moment, doing so for the action itself, not for a certain outcome. Press pause, and appreciate where you are in your journey at the present moment. Trust in your inner wisdom, trust in your journey, and know that you are exactly where you need to be. You have come this far, and each step you take in a new beginning. The journey never really ends, remember that you can begin again and again. Life is that way. In constant flux, the waters of life ebb and flow to the sweet song of freedom.

          How did you get to where you are in this moment? Take a minute to reflect back on the many steps of your journey, all of them leading to where you are right now. Have you ever done something solely because of a feeling in your heart? Or perhaps, a stirring in your soul? Think about what sets your soul on fire.. Do you think that is an accident? Your passion is what pulls you.. If you allow it. "Playing it safe", and ignoring the yearnings of your spirit will only lead to suffering. Sometimes I think we just wake up and try to make sense of where we are and how we got there. Little footsteps, occasional leaps, and here we are. When we live with intention, we decide our dream. We feel the dream in our body.. We visualize the dream in our minds' eye, and sense the dream living on in our hearts.  

          About two years ago, I began a practice of writing down goals in my journal. I read a book about the power of writing down your intentions, and how it gives you something tangible to look back on and see where you are and how far you have come. I remember being really lost at that point in my life, incredibly unhappy.. And working my life away at a restaurant and a bookstore. It was actually the bookstore that sparked within me the desire to continue searching for a job that made me happy. To not settle for a place where I could just make my dollars and call it a day, but to really find a source of income that not only brought me money but also brought me peace and joy. I have been a practitioner of yoga for the past 5 years, and I remember writing that, "I am so thankful to be working in a yoga studio.. I am so thankful to be on this journey of becoming a teacher". A few months had passed and I had completely forgotten about the journaling your dreams exercise, when I stumbled across the journal entry talking about working in a yoga studio. My mouth actually fell open.. I was doing exactly what I had written.. In a matter of months, I was seeing my dreams come to fruition before my very eyes. Needless to say, I was completely amazed. Dreams do come true!

          I was so incredibly happy because I had never experienced something like that. Before I decided to teach yoga, I never knew that having a job could be so.. Fulfilling. So nourishing. I had totally bought into the helplessness of modern slavery. I had forgotten about my free will. I had forgotten that I can literally do anything I dream of. A full year passed, and I found myself taking a solo trip across the globe to further find and discover more of myself. I arrived in India on January 1, 2017. Alone. At 5 am. It was exhilarating. Never had I gone so far completely by myself.. I felt so free. It was in that moment, that I felt as though I had truly arrived in myself. That I am my body, that I am also my mind, and that my spirit is free, flowing within and without me. Breathing in air that I had never taken in before. Feeling the vibration of a place so incredibly.. Different than any place I had ever experienced.

          It was 3 weeks into my stay before I understood why exactly my soul needed to be there. You see.. The way I live is different than most. Some would say that I am impulsive, that I don't think things through.. And so on. They aren’t wrong. I am known to dive right into things and just ride the wave until it crashes. However, I have never been more ME, because of the way I live. What initially made me decide to travel across the globe alone, was that I wanted to go deeper within myself. I wanted to discover parts of myself where I had never been. In India, I was immersed in nature, and music.. And freedom. There was a spiritual clarity there that vibrated through out the trees, streams, and animals that resided there. I was 14 hours into a silent meditation when I met my inner child. The first 13 hours of this meditation was excruciating. I was plagued by a restlessness that I always knew was there.. But I had never sat through it. I had never endured it before then. Beneath all of the restlessness.. Was a part of me that was very upset. My inner child was afraid, shaking, quivering, and crying. All I wanted was to be comforted, to be heard, to be understood and to be loved.  

          Each chapter in my life is lived as a new beginning. Looking back on my personal journey, I see such a huge transformation within myself. Mainly the connection of loving myself. Within each part of my journey, I have learned to shed aspects of myself that were no longer true. That no longer served me. Within these experiences, layers of love came to life. I learned to sit with restlessness, to endure the pain.. To feel it all, everything that I had previously suppressed.. To transmute the depths of emotional trauma into love for my self. I am sharing these personal experiences with you because I want to make it clear that I do not know the answers. I do not know why I do the things I do. I live my life in such a way because it feels right. I try to remember to choose inner peace every time. When something happens, like me deciding to go to India.. I don't question it much. The reason I didn't hesitate was because I knew I had to go. I cannot tell you how I knew this. But I felt in every fiber of my being that it was what I needed to do. So I did.. Love unfolds.  

          Every single step of your journey is your destiny. The decisions you choose to make are your karma. You are where ever you are in the world, reading this book right now, because of your karmic destiny. Do I believe we choose? Yes, absolutely. I believe in free will. Do I believe we always have control? Hmm.. That is where it gets a little weird, a little esoteric, you could say. I believe there is a beauty, an art, in losing control. Reading a fraction of my journey, in the paragraphs above.. Would you say I was in control? I wouldn't. I would say that I was a leaf being blown by the wind. This life is the life that I need to live. Being blown by the wind is essential to my healing. Everyone is different. Everyone leads different lives, everyone has different experiences that shape them into the individual they are. I say all of this to say this: destiny is yours. Your life is yours. Your karma is yours. You can choose to give your free will away, by letting others live through you or by allowing others to control you. Will this bring you peace? Hell, no.

          Inner peace is within you. Every action we make in life can bring us towards this center of peace.. Or carry us a little further away. You will know. I tell you this from experience, when an opportunity comes into your horizon.. And you feel a strange stirring within yourself. Take it. Book the flight. Quit the job. Leave the relationship. Whatever it is.. Do it. Even if you cannot explain it. Do it. Everyone in your life will tell you are crazy. It doesn't matter. Do it anyways. When I bought my ticket to India, I didn't tell anyone in my family about the trip until it was a month away.. Because I knew they would try to talk me out of it. Sure enough, they all did. They said, "You're not going to do that.". And, "no way, you're a woman! You cannot travel so far across the world without a man", and many more. I looked at them calmly, smiled, and said, "I already bought my ticket."

          Everyone in my life told me I was crazy for doing what I was doing. It didn't matter. Because it was my destiny to go and discover different parts of myself in different parts of the world. Twenty one years old, not a care in the world. I owe such gratitude to my spirit, for pioneering onward. For being so wild, and furiously free that I couldn't say no. For me, ignoring the urge and staying in the same place would be so incredibly.. Stubborn. Stuck in a cage, stuck in the same wave, the same pattern. There are so many various patterns of nature, as we have talked about earlier in this book. Sometimes we need to change the pattern of how we think, perceive, and interact with the world around us. When we make the decision to listen to ourselves, to pay attention to those stirrings happening within.. Our patterns change.  

           We find ourselves in new careers, new relationships, maybe even new places.. Whatever it may be, I pray it brings you peace, joy, and love. In a world where external stimulation is of the norm, may we look within ourselves for direction and guidance. May we seek the truth inside of ourselves.. May we run into the precious space of unbounding love that lives in us all. Opening your eyes to destiny is really opening your eyes to yourself. When is that last time you sat with yourself and asked yourself, "what do I wish my life to be like?". I encourage you all to seek peace, to seek happiness and bliss. If you do not know where to go, or you do not know what you want your life to be like, it is alright. Sit with yourself. Spend time with yourself and allow your truest self to unfold. Within us all there are mystical spaces that have not seen the light of day in some time.. Breathe into those dark spaces and open the blinds. Come out to play.

          Your actions, that you choose to make.. Is your Karma. Your life, that you choose to live, is your destiny. May we all recognize what a gift it is to be alive. May we all make the choice to be present for our destinies.. To be present for our lives. May we all cultivate gratitude for our internal and external realms. Feel the rays of the sun dance across your face, experience the wind kissing your skin, tune into the space you hold within yourself.. Feel the freedom and the liberation inside. May we all rediscover the freedom that is in who and what We are. The freedom of the spirit, and the beautiful art of being whole.  

[sparklyzephirdesign-blog]

Louis Vuitton’s Creative Director Nicolas Ghesquière Looks to the Past to See the Future

By Nick Vogelson

                                                                                                                                                                                                       The power of image, from an in-person first impression to an Instagram post shared with millions of followers, has now been commercialized and politicized, for better or for worse. The role that fashion plays in this is an increasingly important one, something of which Louis Vuitton’s artistic director Nicolas Ghesquière is ever mindful. Empowering legions of women with his designs, Ghesquière continually looks for ways to reinvent and reinvigorate, often turning to the hypothetical utopian environments of science fiction and video games as inspiration. Days before his Spring/Summer 2018 show in Paris, Ghesquière spoke with Document’s editor-in-chief, Nick Vogelson, to debate the question that is on everyone’s mind given the current political climate: where are we headed?

    Nick Vogelson—Your references are very often drawn from science fiction, for instance the film "2046" to the anime series "Evangelion"—why do you gravitate towards the genre?

  Nicolas Ghesquière—It’s the strange and unknown that fascinates me, whether it’s cult futurism or underground sci-fi. I’m always attracted to new territories, I don’t know why.

  Nick—Would you say that science fiction particularly aids your creative process as a designer? What else inspires you? 

  Nicolas—It’s the dynamic between curiosity and seduction. The digital world is so precise, it’s the world of the zoom. We can enlarge everything, all must be perfect, and nothing is hidden, which is perfectly linked to my thinking. I’m also very inspired by other forms of art and design, and often circle back to brutalism or the work of Japanese designer Shiro Kuramata, for example.

  Nick—Your cruise show was held at an I.M. Pei building, and you’ve previously held shows against the backdrop of structures by Lautner and Pierre Paulin. Would you say that architecture is also an important inspiration to you? Or is it more, as you mentioned, an interest in new environments?

  Nicolas—I.M. Pei’s Miho Museum inspired me right away. After the desert and Palm Springs, the ocean and Rio, I wanted to introduce people to another landscape, to immerse them in a sea of green. With the Miho Museum we are continuing an architectural voyage that suits the maison Louis Vuitton perfectly. For our 2018 Cruise fashion show we were transported into a tangled web of nature, geographical greatness and a unique architectural vision. The spirit of travel and the discovery of extraordinary natural environments, architectural masterpieces and art are intrinsically connected to Louis Vuitton.

  “Can people really absorb that much information in three months? Luxury needs time to develop, and it needs time to produce. I think waiting is something of a luxury now.” 

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  Nick—Understanding what is, or isn’t, intrinsic to a brand’s DNA seems like a particularly important problem facing contemporary designers, with more and more heritage brands being revived. You’ve worked at Balenciaga and now Louis Vuitton, which are both legacy labels. In your opinion, how much of a house’s DNA should be carried forward in each collection?

  Nicolas—At Balenciaga, it was a transmission; I was carrying on for someone. I probably underestimated how difficult it was. You just go for it at age 25, and the context allowed my determination to work. I am proud of it. I take responsibility for having put Balenciaga back on the map, with integrity. I understand that fashion, in essence, is about pushing forward, while not breaking away from the initial mold of a brand. There are many designers that succumb to a wistful affection for the past, and stay there. Then there are others that are constantly looking for the next best thing, and they forget about their core customer. To be truly successful, one has to look back to move forward. The exploration has to go a bit further; there’s still a certain respect for the patrimony, but also of technology, which is what I like.

  Nick—What are some of the challenges you’ve faced with fusing heritage together with your own aesthetic?

  Nicolas—It was quite confusing, to be honest with you. I got lost in that. Sometimes I thought the company was me, it was mine, it was not a heritage, we were the same object, we shared the same DNA. Then I realized I was wrong—it’s a marriage that can fail and that you have to work at to keep interesting and fresh. I feel very confident now in my current role at Louis Vuitton. It is an iconic house, rich in heritage and with a strong sense of patrimony, and today I’m still learning more and more about the house through the archives. What I like in this Maison is that my role is in constant evolution through the wealth of heritage and history which allows me to further my discovery and creativity. The teams at Louis Vuitton are very professional with a strong knowledge of savoir-faire which is very stimulating for product development. The Maison’s particularity is to always seek innovation, which I feel strongly about. For instance, when I designed the Petite Malle three years ago, I took an iconic symbol of Louis Vuitton, the trunk, a sacred piece of luggage steeped in years of travel and history and I turned it into a handbag. I put a modern twist on a heritage item and gave it new use and life to the new generation. The same could be said for the Eye-Trunk for iPhones which have been highly successful and was such a simple idea, yet no one had ever thought to develop it before. It reproduces the finishings and intricate details found on an original Louis Vuitton trunk, just like the Petite Malle. And above all it represents a new use of the trunk for the evolving fashions and evolving customers.

  Nick—What about when it comes to silhouettes? Giving leather goods or other products new uses or applications is one thing, but evolving silhouettes must be an incredibly difficult task.

  Nicolas—The most defining feature of the female silhouette in the 21st century so far has been in the way a woman wears sports clothes and mixes them with much more elaborate designer pieces. But this shift in the way women dress was driven by women themselves. Not by designers. And I think what’s most interesting is how we [as designers] react to that. It’s about movement also. I’m not saying people didn’t move before, but today the contours of the body have changed, there’s a new body consciousness about the way women dress. 

  Nicolas Ghesquière photographed by Zoe Ghertner in New York City. 

  Nick—Would you say then that technology is the driving force in changing silhouettes? Sportswear’s increased popularity can certainly be attributed to fabric innovation.

  Nicolas—I’m fascinated by the way artificial fibers have become ennobled. A few years ago, if you were a Japanese designer you could use polyester in your collection and people would love it. If you were a European or an American designer, it would be seen as cheap. Today, textile development has become so strong and inventive that the integration of those fibers mixed with natural materials makes intelligent fabrics. I think today women dress for themselves. That’s changed a lot. They dress for men, but they dress for themselves first. This is why I think there is a greater desire for high fashion now, and a willingness to take more risks. It’s a proud moment for fashion.

  Nick—Your work has always been synonymous with strong women. Your muses include Jennifer Connelly, Alicia Vikander, Michelle Williams, to name a few. What are the qualities you look for in a muse?

  Nicolas—These women are not scared. They don’t just want to wear a boring dress on every red carpet. I look for people whose daring permits me to take the energy and the craft of old couture and make it new. A woman may be defined in ways that are unlimited, infinite, and sometimes paradoxical. What is fascinating about women is the way they can vary their weapons of seduction, the way they can adopt different styles yet make them reflect their personality. I like it when a woman interprets my designs, makes them hers, and even surprises me by the way she wears them. I like it when my designs become a part of a woman’s life and no longer belong to me. My viewpoint of femininity is above all that of a designer, and more specifically a male designer. But what I am constantly looking for, and what I am always happy to achieve, is when a certain idea I have of femininity corresponds to what a woman wants. That’s when everything comes together. There is nothing more inspiring for a designer than to have the feeling that you have found an answer.

  Nick—And it’s much easier for a designer to be able to gauge the needs of their clients now, with social media providing instant feedback, as well as a glimpse into how your designs are being worn day to day.

  Nicolas—I love social media. I love Instagram a lot, and I like Twitter a lot too. Instagram is very playful and it’s a wonderful tool for a designer. Louis Vuitton asked me to take over the Instagram account for a week. It was a little daunting when they first gave me the phone—the responsibility of 3.1 million followers and what to show, what not to show, what to suggest? I don’t like to filter and love that I can speak to many people very directly. The traditional barriers between designer and public have been broken and we now communicate freely and informally.

  “The more you multiply an event, the less exceptional it is. It takes time to develop a proper collection, with commercial pieces and interesting pieces, it’s not something you can do in a week.” 

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  Nick—What do you think of shows transitioning from basic presentations to Instagrammable environments?

  Nicolas—I love that the digital world and digital tools such as Instagram are inclusive. Digital communication allows us to show an aspect of what we do. And it’s enriching. I believe that people know what they want and know what they like, and the digital world is exciting and creates curiosity in people. But it’s also confused them. People see things on Instagram they can’t have right away—the digital platform is so immediate. As an industry, we have to make people understand that they have to wait for things they see on a screen. The see-now-buy-now model has had questionable results and that, again, is related to digital. Has it raised a new interpretation of luxury? Maybe. In the future, maybe the people who consume extreme luxury will be the people who understand that it needs time, while some of the collection will be more accessible and produced quicker. But it’s very, very complicated.

  Nick—How do you handle the challenges of being a fashion designer today and creating numerous collections season after season, while also keeping up with the quickened pace that digital has created? For example, Gaultier bowed out of ready-to-wear in 2013 to concentrate on couture because he felt there are too many seasons in the fashion calendar. I think everyone agrees that the fashion week model needs to change. But where should it go?

  Nicolas—The more you multiply an event, the less exceptional it is. It takes time to develop a proper collection, with commercial pieces and interesting pieces, it’s not something you can do in a week. We’ve made so many jumps in the last decade already. I used to do a collection every six months and today we have only two or three months. I was working simultaneously on collections; I had about six weeks in between to finish Cruise. Can people really absorb that many clothes and that much information in three months? For certain markets maybe, probably a more casual market or a market that is more immediate in its consumption but luxury needs time to develop, and it needs time to produce. I think waiting is something of a luxury now.

  Nick—Who are the designers that excite you?

  Nicolas—To pick young designers of today, I would highly recognize the work of Julien Dossena and will strongly support Natacha Ramsay-Levi with her new career as creative director of Chloé. I’m very excited to see her new collection during Paris Fashion Week.

  “The more you multiply an event, the less exceptional it is. It takes time to develop a proper collection, with commercial pieces and interesting pieces, it’s not something you can do in a week.” 

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  Nick—As publishing houses continue to look for new ways to stay innovative in the digital age, where do you think the fashion magazine is headed?

  Nicolas—I hope paper magazines will never die, there is a luxury and reverence in touching and turning pages. Certain magazines are now considered as coffee table books. It will always be important to have strong content and the chance to discover fashion stories, which is not always the case in digital platforms where you often only see one beautiful image.

  Nick—Both in terms of the design process and with print media, it’s so important to have the option to reflect before responding or vocalizing a viewpoint. Even more so now that the world is in such a chaotic time, with Trump, Brexit, rampant terrorism, migration, environmental catastrophes and more. How are these issues reflected in your collections?

  Nicolas—The notion of frontiers is of fundamental importance. Ever since its founding in 1854, Louis Vuitton has also pushed the boundaries of know-how, innovation, design and travel. But what do frontiers mean in a globalized world that nonetheless seeks to redefine its boundaries? Today, when some people make us want to believe that the frontiers are stronger and stronger, I think fashion has always broken those frontiers. Especially in Paris—it’s the land of foreign designers; it’s so multicultural. Being in the Louvre where everyone is welcome, where there is no limit of culture, of nationality, is a strong message. Fear is the enemy. Fear of outsiders is the worst thing. Fear of the ‘other’ is what much of the world is saying today, but ... from the street, people are saying, ‘The world has to be mixed.’ A generation is saying that. I trust the yo

[mackjao]

2/9/17 – Home – A photo of pages from my journal with writings compiled over time and through many seasons of my life 

Despite my ardent love for reading, I used to dislike writing. Having been brought up with Asian parents both with backgrounds in the sciences, I grew up believing that math & science were both beautiful subjects: neat, objective, simple, defined by laws & theories that seemingly brought order to a world around me that is messy, chaotic, and threatening. Over many years as I’ve aged, matured, and gone through many seasons (joy & sorrow, light & dark, good & evil), I’ve also grown to deeply appreciate writing and what a wonderful gift it is from God.

To be able to prayerfully/thoughtfully (with much agony at times) write down words (snail mail [such a lost art these days], email, social media/Facebook messaging, etc.) so that I could both explore & express the contours of my fragile & messy heart, so that I could convey feelings/sentiments/emotions that were incredibly raw & genuinely sincere from the very deepest fibers of my soul & being, so that I could have space (seemingly limitless) to clarify the messy madness of my mind & life, so that I could create & cultivate deep, meaningful, challenging, and edifying spaces of love, humility, vulnerability, honesty, intimacy, and growth via continuous correspondence with other souls (both brothers & sisters) that otherwise would have been limited by physical distance (time zones/worlds apart) and busyness however tough the task (I want the fight) … what a joy writing has indeed become for me. In fact, it has secretly been the primary means by which I’ve communicated & kept up over all these years with a very few whom I cherish most dearly and are to me “kindred souls”: people who are genuinely committed to the cause of Christ, those who are kind/sincere/gracious to a divine degree, bold & deep both in mind & in heart, genuine in love/heart/godly character both in word & in deed, those who realize how incredibly precious time truly is & are not content to settle for skin-deep shallow small talk a vast majority of the time, and those who are courageous & humble and are not afraid to be raw, real, honest, and authentic with me by being willing to tell me how they really are & how it really is.

I admit, keeping up with “kindred souls” like these in this manner on a consistent basis is the number one reason why I don’t have as much energy & time to devote to people in real life more readily, but I have never had any regrets about this at all – not when God, by His divine providence, has seen it good to give me such divinely transformed & beautiful souls to walk alongside, to be in deep fellowship + relationship with over all these years, relationships not hindered by increasing amounts of frivolous small talk from most people I meet in person these days and encounters that, for a vast majority of the time, end up being one and done. After viewing/reflecting on all these writings that not only have accumulated in these very pages but also in the deepest archives of my heart/mind/soul/spirit, I realized what a tremendous waste it would be not to share some of them, writings that not only detail various seasons of my walk with Christ (as above), but that also detail some of the most rawest, most genuine/sincere correspondences, feelings, and sentiments regarding these “kindred souls.”

For many years, I’ve been aware and wary of many who view me as a vast mystery, a great enigma, a great mystique, and an unsolvable mystery (i.e. What happened to this simple boy who went off to Pittsburgh and came back so marvelously and divinely changed/transformed into a man zealous for God/for Christ/His Word/His glory, etc.?). Though I humbly admit my possible contribution to this view of me by divulging testimonies only to my closest godly brothers and mentors in my life, I have never been a fan of such a view as it does a great disservice & dishonor to the God I passionately love, serve, submit, and surrender to. As it has been so many years that this perception of me seems to have persisted, it is finally time to tear down the iron curtain – behind which lie many stories, long/tough/humbling conversations, and experiences that testify of the greatness of our good God and of my utterly divine transformation in the hands of my Creator (stubborn & rebellious heart -> humbled/softened/submitted + surrendered child and servant of God) over so many seasons and 6.5 years of my life.

In addition, I wish to write two very heartfelt letters to two women and sisters in Christ whom I have tested and view as wonderful & marvelous godly sisters, both of whom I dearly cherish and love as dear friends and beloved sisters in Christ, and both who I will always remember with great fondness/tenderness and cherish the times (however limited) that I’ve had to spend with these two marvelous souls via multiple writings/correspondences or meetups. It has been so incredibly difficult through numerous conversations and time spent with them to keep my feelings and sentiments about these two sisters in strict platonic check as many a times has the line between friend and lover simply blurred as God used these two women, the time, and the conversations I had with them time and time again so marvelously to show me His glorious tender heart & great love for His precious, valuable, and beloved daughters.

As I begin to write & weave together, by the grace & strength that He supplies, words of narrative/feelings & sentiments/”kindred souls” that in part will comprise a part of the account that I anticipate to give before my God before His throne on that Day when it arrives, shxt’s about to get real and deep real fast as these writings are written and released one post at a time on the last day of each month beginning with the current one (maybe quicker if time allows, but I want to do each post proper time & justice). A fair warning to all those reading this that if you can’t deal with the heat, that you should turn right around and exit while you still can (https://tinyurl.com/z8uk94u). Also, if haters (I address both believers and unbelievers) want to hate on me/view me differently/judge & condemn me for some of the things I write, then get right in line as I already have a vast crowd (both believers [to my great sorrow, but still I love them regardless] & unbelievers) of those knocking right outside my door though I am and will be in no way intimidated or have any fear of those who wish to think badly of me or throw stones at me (Prov 29:25, Heb 13:6, Gal 1:10, Ps 118:8, Isa 51:12, Isa 2:22) because my identity does not come from them or what they think of me and I know who I ultimately am by the riches of His marvelous grace & unfailing love: a child of God (Gal 4:1-7) cleansed by the blood of the Lamb (Isa 1:18, 1 John 1:7, Rev 1:5) who is not only fully known but also fully loved (Eph 2:1-7, Rom 5:6-11).  

I’ve been through a lot of things, beheld miracles utterly divine, beheld His glorious presence/affirming touch and voice both loud and small (more often. He indeed does speak. Are you listening?), done/seen/heard things some of which are incredibly wretched/dark/evil/immoral/seemingly unbelievable but true/outright horrifying, but by writing all these things down, may you be reminded of truths so easily forgotten or taken for granted: that our God is indeed mighty and wonderful to save I who was once dead in sin but now alive in Christ through the Spirit (Rom 6) by a divine miracle, that I am a wretched and depraved sinner indeed saved by the very grace and love of God alone and that this indeed is what God came to do by sending Christ (Isa 61) and by extension, we who are His beloved children, as well by sending us into the world, we who are commissioned, empowered, and sent by the Holy One who reigns on high to proclaim Christ & Him crucified all to the glory of Christ and God the Father forevermore. Amen.

P.S. After a short update and table of contents, I want to start by first writing those two letters to the two sisters I mentioned prior first (one released end of Feb, the other end of Mar … maybe sooner if time allows), these two sisters whom I will refer to as Sister #1 and Sister #2. These letters represent tender, sincere, heartfelt, and genuine words that I speak directly from my heart to her heart. Though it is highly unlikely that these two souls will ever find these letters unless they’re actively reading their Instagram feeds with fine comb hairs, I do this not only because I sincerely want to speak to each of them these very words both as a confession and as an encouragement but also so that I may finally put to rest all my thoughts, feelings, and sentiments about these gloriously godly (that is oh so truly beautiful and precious not only through my eyes, but also through the Father’s eyes) women of God whom God has given me the wonderful blessing, privilege, and joy of befriending and walking alongside for however short a time as a dear friend but more importantly as a brother in Christ. I will start by writing to Sister #2 first, because if anything, I have a strong feeling from deep within that she likely needs to hear this from me personally a whole lot more than Sister #1 does.