#this is what I did all day todaaayyy

[enthusiasticclouds-sally]

Archetype — The Creator Birthday — September 22nd, 1993 Zodiac Sign — Virgo  MBTI — INFJ Enneagram — 2; The Helper Temperament — Phlegmatic Hogwarts House — Slytherpuff Moral Alignment — Lawful Neutral Primary Vice — Anger Primary Virtue — Humility Element — Earth

Overview:

Mother — Elizabeth Finkelstein nee Addair (dead) Father — Arran Finkelstein Mother’s Occupation — Teacher Father’s Occupation — Neurosurgeon currently retired because he got into a car accident that left him paralyzed from the waist below  Family Finances — They got monneeeyyyyy forgot the formal word for that, but yeah they very well off Birth Order — Only child because Elizabeth died during child birth Brothers — None Sisters — None Other Close Family — Nope. Arran was very possessive with his daughter so they didn’t go around visiting family, so Sally does have aunts and uncles but she knows none of them. Best Friend — Daniel!!! lmao I laugh bc sadly he is deaad :(( but he was the ONE friend she had in her childhood and they grew so close that no one has yet to take that spot for her :(( Other Friends — Ummm Sally was really like the pariah of her hometown. No one wanted to be her friend because of her magic, so she really didn’t have much of any growing up like except Daniel. On top of that, Arran was very possessive of Sally and kept her locked up as much as possible, so that made socializing rather hard.  Enemies — Her hometown, no one liked her again except Daniel. Her father, it is a very BAD relationship between the both of them and it is something that Sally has yet to be able to forgivee. Pets — Salene!!!! She’s a Dalmation Sally adopted at the plantation in Swynlake. Her full name is Salene Morticia Finkelstein!!! :DD Home Life During Childhood — Oh gawwd, yeah Sally did not have a good childhood at all!!!! Her father kept her locked up for most of it. At first it wasn’t too bad, Arran had been an exceptional single father, but as Sally grew older and started to look more and more like a mirror image of her mother.... that was when the unhealthy obsession inside of Arran began to manifest and there started the lock up because he wanted his daughter all to himself basically.Then later on in life like when she became thirteen, Arran got into a car accident that left him paralyzed leaving Sally now as his sole caretaker. Her only moments of freedom were when she had to go to school. Those became ruined, however, when her visions started appearing, and she became the pariah of the town so yeah.... It was a very isolating and rough childhood for Sally :(( Town or City Name(s) — Larkhall, Scotland. Glasgow Scotland What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — Very decorative!!!! Sally went all out since ya know she was pretty locked up so, this was an escape for her, especially for all her restless energy. Very Halloweenish and Autumnish because those are her things. Dark colors, a lot of black. Any Sports or Clubs — Not really. Sally was never much of a very sports person, doesn’t even watch much of any. Plus, she a klutz so yeah, it never mixes well. Favorite Toy or Game — Ouija board lmao tbh she only played it to piss her father off because HE DOES NOT like that stuff xD He’s convinced her visions came about because of it.  Schooling — Sally has gone through Primary and Seconday in Larkhall and then commuted to Glascow for Uni majoring in Design (due to her LOVE of sewing). Was very heavy with online classes because of her father’s behest. However, she was never able to finish Uni because Daniel died in the middle of it, then she found out about her father’s incestuous obsession with her and so... she ran away to Swynlake. Favorite Subject — Art Popular or Loner — Loner for sure. Popularity was never in the cards for Sally  Important Experiences or Events — Daniel’s death was an important event because she had foreseen it happen and wasn’t able to stop it. At the same time, it took a huge part away from her. He was the ONLY friend she had, her best most dearest friend, so it was a lot. A painful experience (aside from seeing Daniel’s tragic death) was the exorcism. Her father took her to church once and they actually performed an exorcism on the poor girl due to her visions. :( Nationality — Scottish Culture — Scottish Religion and beliefs — Raised Catholic and her father were very devoted to the Catholic religion. Sally attended mass every Sunday when she was younger because of her dad, but had stopped all together when she got older. The church was very judgmental of her, believed she was possessed by demons because of her magic (especially since she often saw death).

Physical Appearance:

Face Claim —  Karen Gillian Complexion — Fair skin with freckles on her nose and cheeks!! Hair Colour — Ginger!!! But a little more on the reddish side.   Eye Colour — A hazelish to very light brown mix. It’s very pretty!!! Height — 5’10″ she has to be my tallest girl <3 Build — Tall pretty average to slim build.  Tattoos — Nope, but she’ll definitely get one if someone suggested it haha Piercings — Yes, just the standard two ear piercings. Common Hairstyle — Sally mostly wears her hair down. For so many things my baby can do, hair isn’t exactly her strongest.  Clothing Style — More on the punk-ish side when it came to Sally’s style. Lover of dark colors. Nothing crazy, your typical jeans and t-shirt type of gal. Boots and sneakers are what she prefers. Use to wear like skirts and dresses but not so often anymore, not since the scarring on her legs, so when she does wears them she normally wears tights that covers. She does loves sweat-shirts and hoodies.   Mannerisms — Sally often wrings her fingers togethers, hides her hands within pockets and tugs at the fabric, doesn’t maintain the best eye-contact, rakes her hands through her hair when nervous, stutters when speaking with pauses as well, 

Health:

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — Nope. Sally is very good at keeping up with her health. Physical Ailments — Sally does have scars on both of her legs. They look like patch work but are burned scars from one of the crazy events that has happened in Swynlake. She has electrical burns.  Neurological Conditions — Headaches and migraines that are often cause from emotional overload she receives being an empath. Sometimes her vision leave her with a terrible migraine as well.  Allergies — None Grooming Habits — Good. She has clean hygiene habits. Makes sure she looks well kept.  Sleeping Habits — Sally doesn’t have the best sleeping habit at all. Ghosts don’t really stop talking just because it’s night time. The voices often keep her up and steal away her ability to remain asleep. Sometimes as well, she’ll get a vision in her sleep and welp there goes sleeping for the night. Eating Habits — Healthy. Sally is organic with her food choice and often grows as much as she can from her garden, but she’s not strict with this. She’ll break it whenever she wants. If she wants sweets, she’ll get her sweets.  Exercise Habits — Sally does yoga has been doing it for years now and is very, very, very good at it!!! But, aside from that she doesn’t really exercise, except for like when she takes Salene for a walk.  Emotional Stability — Umm.... when it comes to her own personal emotions I guess she’s somewhat stable? But she often carries the emotions of others over her shoulder, being an empath and all, and that at times can make things unstable.   Body Temperature — Sally tends to lean more on the colder side. She has a cold touch to her, and her skin feels more on the frigid lines of things. It comes with the fact that she has been in death’s clutches far too many times, and now also with the fact that she can talk/see the dead.  Sociability — Sally is super, super, SUPER shy!!!!! It’s a struggle for her to talk to new people and she often stutters because of it. She does, however, open up completely with people she has grown to know because she feels more comfortable with them.  Addictions — None. Drug Use — Nope.  Alcohol Use — Not really.

Your Character’s Character:

Bad Habits — Klutzy, restless, impatient, sassy, can hold a grudge, shy, soft-spoken, blunt (but never means for it in a bad way or to cause harm), uncontrollably curious, awkward, socially unaware  Good Habits — Kind, creative, gentle, clever, honest, resourceful, loyal, sweet, loving, down-to-earth, humble, optimistic, understanding  Best Characteristic — Loving and kind Worst Characteristic — The fact that she has the ability to hold a grudge Worst Memory — The exorcism she was forced into, and Daniel’s death. There is also the vision that brought to light her father’s obsession. Yeah.... Sally has a lot of bad memories.  Best Memory — There was a Christmas where Sally’s dad had to stay in the hospital for his job. Daniel came over for that Christmas and they spent the night decorating a Christmas tree, Halloween style!!!!!! It’s the prime reason for why Sally decorates her Christmas trees in that fashion now in the present.   Proud of — How she has been able to semi-control her visions, or at least control them in the best way they can be controlled. Also, that she has been able to control her empathic abilities as well. These were both very over-powering abilities and she has been able to live through them both and control them over time!!!! Embarrassed by — All her klutzy, clumsy moments. The fact that she stutters and pauses in her speech because of her shyness. Her scars over her legs.   Driving Style — Sally has learned how to drive and drives pretty decently, but she really doesn’t drive much presently. Strong Points — Her kindness and positive outlook when things look rough  Temperament — Phlegmatic Attitude — Determined, restless Weakness — Shyness   Fears — The lost of her loved ones and not being able to do anything about it. Already has happened with Daniel.  Phobias — Isolation. She has lived a life of isolation through both her father and because of her magic, she doesn’t want to live through isolation again.  Secrets — Her father’s obsession with her, and the fact that she stole a good chunk of her father’s fortune when she ran away lmao  Regrets — Not being able to prevent Daniel’s death, especially when she saw it happened ahead of time. Not being able to prevent a lot of foreseen deaths. Not allowing Daniel to love her.   Feels Vulnerable When — She comes back from a vision. Right after a vision happens, it takes a moment for Sally to get her gatherings together so she is at her most vulnerable physically then. When she’s isolated she also feels very vulnerable.   Pet Peeves — Doesn’t really have many.  Conflicts — Her magic has caused a lot of conflicts for Sally. There is also the conflict of death when it comes to her visions whether she should try to do her best to prevent them, or simply allow them to be.  Motivation — Belongingness. It’s really sad but like Sally has been isolated for a grand portion of her life she just wants to feel like she can belong somewhere :(( Short Term Goals and Hopes — Do something professionally with her exceptional and awesome sewing skills!!!!! (I’m going to start working on this for herrr) Sleep better. She definitely needs more sleep in her life. Long Term Goals and Hopes — To be able to have full control of all of her magical abilities.  Sexuality — Bi-sexual, Demiromantic Exercise Routine  — Yoga in the morning, sometimes at night too Day or Night Person — Night owl Introvert or Extrovert — Introvert Optimist or Pessimist — Optimist

Likes and Styles:

Music — Rock, punk rock, indie, soft rock that whole general area of music is Sally’s favorite. She’s a huge fan of Evanescence.  Books — Edgar Allen Poe is her favorite author. She does enjoy some of Emily Dickinson’s work as well.  Her favorite story is Ligiea by Edgar Allen Poe.  Magazines — Nope. Foods — Sally isn’t really picky, she’ll eat just about anything. She prefers organically made and loves to cook off of her grown garden.   Drinks — Hot chocolate and any drink with added pumpkin spice!!!!!  Animals — Dogs, solely because of her precious Salene.  Sports — Not really that into sports tbh if you’d ask her about any game she wouldn’t know what to tell you unless like she had a vision and knew the winning team ahead of time but other than that nope Social Issues — Magic v. Anti-Magic since she’s a magick herself.  Favorite Saying — “Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back” Color — Blackkk she does love orange as well!!!! Jewelry — None. She’s not a huge jewelry person, does puts on studs for her ears from time to time  Games — Meh...   Websites — Not a website person. Sally doesn’t have any form of social media not even an instagram. She doesn’t want her father knowing where she ran off to.  TV Shows — Sally does love the Adam’s Family!!! Both the original tv show and the movies!!! They’re her favorite :DD Movies — Scary/Horror movies. The Chucky series are her favorite.  Greatest Want — To be in full control of her magic.  Greatest Need — I’m not sure to be honest... I’ll have to come back to this one hahaha

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home — Sally lives in a two bedroom house in the Southern Isles. She could definitely afford something a lot nicer, but she’s happy where she’s at. She’s not the show off-y type of gal.  Household furnishings — Her house is fully furnished with all the furniture one would expect in a house. Dark furniture of course blacks and dark cherry wood stuff like that. Decorative because Sally loves to decorateeee.  Neighborhood — Southern Isle Neighborhood on the South end of Swynlake Town or City Name — Larkhall, Scotland in her childhood. Presently, Swynlake, England Details of Town or City — For Larkhall whatever wikipedia saysss and Swynlake you all know how Swynlake issss Married Before — Nope. Significant Other Before — Also, nope. Would have loved a chance with Daniel though :(( Children — Nope. Relationship with Family — Estranged Car — Nope. Could afford one though, but just doesn’t want one Career — No career at the moment (I gotta stop being lazy) Dream Career — Dressmaker, Sewist, Seamstress (She could lean towards being a Designer but she what she loves the most is the sewing aspect of it all)  Dream Life — One where Daniel is alive and all the horrors of her past hadn’t happened. A life where her mother didn’t die giving birth to her and she was a part of a happy family. She would love a family even if it isn’t one with kids but like her and a loved one.... but she just... doesn’t believe that’s out there for her. Love Life — None, but wanted one with Daniel  Talents or Skills — Sewing (she’s very very VERY FREAKING GOOD AT IT), baking, cooking, decorating, designing, gardening Intelligence Level — Very intelligent, but she’s so quiet and soft-spoken that it’s often times not noticed Finances — She got monnnneeeyyyy stolen money, but moneeyyyy nonetheless xDD

Your Character’s Life Before Your Story:

Past Careers — Hasn’t gone around to having a career yetttt Past Lovers — None :(((  Biggest Mistakes — Not being able to prevent Daniel’s deaathhhh  Biggest Achievements — Gaining the control that she does have presently over her magic.

[hypfic]

hey there! can i request number 5 from your valentine’s day event with Ichiro? bulleted list is preferred but short fic is ok too! thank you sm in advance! :)

I am so deep in the Ichiro loving void I had to limit myself with how much I wrote </3  but!! I really love how these played out and I hope you enjoy! 

Ichiro [ 山田一郎 ]:

It isn’t hard to make Ichiro blush, which was a bit of a surprise to you. You knew he was a bit on the dorkier side but well… you didn’t think it would be this easy.

There were of course a few specific things you would do, but most of the time it would be so adorably random. You could do as much as glance his way and his cheeks would burn.

You could smile at him, wear a specific outfit or your hair a certain way and he’d be red from his neck to his ears.

Sometimes it would be the smallest things like making the first move to hold his hand or kiss him on the cheek. Other times, you would purposefully make him blush by matching outfits or better yet his clothes.

Of course the easy succumbing to blushing was a mutual battle. So much so that the two of you decided to make it a bit of a competition. 

In theory, it was a good idea, in practice? Well, in practice it destroyed you both. The pair of you happened to be hopeless romantics and easily flustered by the other.

After your boyfriend had an embarrassingly successful win by choosing to sing a love song during family karaoke night, you began to scheme your revenge.

One thing that never failed to make Ichiro turn into a blushing mess was when you wore his clothes. So, naturally, you could go for the low-hanging fruit and indulge in that which never failed… Or you could take that easy answer and expand on it… which is exactly what you did.

You were supposed to meet your darling odd-job extraordinaire for lunch that afternoon, and you decided that was the perfect time to get revenge

After digging around in Ichiro’s closet, you assembled the perfect boyfriend-destroying outfit. You had one of his t-shirts that was at least three sizes too big for you tucked haphazardly into a pair of jeans, a set of rings you had purchased in your own size to match his own, and to top it all off, one of his sports jackets. 

“I~chi~kun~” you grinned deviously as you snuck up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist. He was distracted by something on his phone as he stood waiting outside the cafe you agreed to meet at and hadn’t seen you coming. 

“Agk! Y/n you startled me!” He jumped, yet a chuckle bubbled in his throat as he turned around to face you. “How are you doing todaaayyy– o-oh,” Ichiro’s face was already warm from your surprise attack, but now it burned. His eyes were glued on you, cheeks pink as he took in what you were wearing. 

You giggled at his cute reaction, standing on your toes and pecking his lips, “Take a picture baby it’ll last longer~”

[ellipsesarefun]

DAMIRAE DAY 5: Soulbond

A/N: SO THIS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE I SWEAR HAHHAHAAH. It’s probs the coffee talking but damn. Finished this baby todaaayyy after reviewing for a subject (and damn is this a weird day because writing and studying feels like two different worlds) so this will be queued to post on the 14th or 15th? Maybe I’m too excited but it’s been awhile since I’ve been excited to write something.. Been awhile since I’ve used 1st POV. This is probs a bit messy :( But I’ll edit some stuff out someday..

May not be participating anymore but I hope to come back to DamiRae <3 It’s been a comfort to me during my study breaks.

------

There are some things about my magic that I cannot fully comprehend nor explain. 

Ever since I’ve healed the young Robin, I’ve been receiving vivid dreams. I can’t fully grasp the images but the emotions that wake me to reality are always filled with heartaches, pining, and desperation. I never bothered to clue anyone in on what they are. Kory knows I have dreams but I can never tell her what happens in them because I don’t know how to describe them.. Damian has his ways of knowing. The little bird never lets me forget that. But he never asked, just implied. And I never said anything, merely let him draw his own conclusions.

I’ve been harboring feelings for him for a long time but I never acted on them for a number of reasons... Sometimes, we were romantically and sexually involved with other people. Other times, there never seemed to be a time and place to voice it out on the open. The moments we spent alone meditating, reading together, flying during my nightly rituals are the moments I cherish too much to let him feel my burden.

But out of all the reasons I've expounded, My father is the center. Even when I have created an enchanted fortress created out of his and my own demonic magic (with the help of Constantine and Zatanna), I still fear that he may one day break through those chains and destroy Earth... and kill Damian. Trigon senses the bond between us and it disgusts him.

His insults hit right through my own insecurities. I mean technically, he is trapped in crystal that’s stored in a small box that I carry around but damnit there are times when his thoughts crowd over to mine and... it terrifies me.

The mechanics of the bond isn’t the “if he dies, then I die too” but more of “I feel his presence more than I let on”. I still have no idea if it also might be the former, but the latter is one that I experience often. I don't always know what he is feeling (I may be an Empath but I have my mental barriers to maintain). It's only when he's in danger do my senses burn right through my barriers. It probably comes with this strong sense of protectiveness within me, a desperate need to keep him safe... and it’s becoming a little too obvious.

Throughout the six years as Titans, training with Damian has gradually become a torture... Every urge to shot turns into every urge to shield him from the pain... Every scar he receives fuels my anger against those who dare to hurt him, especially the enemies we’ve faced during missions and/or patrol. 

The last one was worse. I arrived at the scene with him on the floor, body tainted with bruises and then..

I saw him on the floor.. suddenly burnt into ashes.. face barely recognizable... I heard my screams of agony, despair, and heartbreak as I watched my other self enveloping him in what seems a spell..

I love you...

And it wasn’t a dream but a memory... It all felt so real, like I was in Apokolips (what the hell is Apokolips?) once more and the Earth has crumbled to its fucked up state and he was gone and I needed to save him (from what?)...

I didn’t even stop to comprehend what it was and I lost my control. 

AZARATH. METRION. ZINTHOS!

...

I blacked out, I think, and now I find myself back in the infirmary of the Titans Tower. Not a single glimpse of a sunlight reached the room and nothing stands out from the dark except a figure sitting beaide me.

"Hi." Is the only greeting I offered. Damian stands and turns the lights back on. He sits back down, burning holes into my skull. I squint at the brightness and immediately force myself to focus at some place that isn't him.. I couldn't bare to look at him.

I hear a sigh but I let my gaze linger at the clock far longer than I liked, matching my breaths with the ticks and tocks of the arrows of the clock. His agitation prickles at my senses like a thorn to my side. The damned urge to come and wrap him in my arms gradually resurfaces once more. 

He clears his throat just in time, like he already knew what I was thinking and I look down, hoping he doesn’t notice the heat pooling my cheeks. 

“Look,” he says and I pause my train of thought, “You and I both know there’s more to this that letting your demon lose and almost killing Dr. Light, so let’s not beat around the bush.” I couldn’t look at him, I just can’t bear to.. But I nodded, just so he knows that I’m taking his words seriously (and I always do)..

I might as well tell him..

“I’ve been having nightmares ever since the first time I healed you.” There’s movement from my periphery but I ignore it, “Of you.. dying...” Silence is his only answer so I continued.

“It wasn’t that bad at first but through years it’s been difficult to fight this desire to protect you all the time.” I haven’t reached the most important part yet and I’m already feeling the rising tension in the air. He holds up a hand, and I wait for him to speak as I try to calm my heartbeat. 

“Raven, I was trained by the League of the Assassins. I know how to handle myself-” 

“I know you do, Damian.” I cut him off, hearing my voice rise a bit,

(And I realize later that he didn't need to say this because damnit the smart ass saw right through me. He only did so to bait me into confessing.)

“But these aren’t nightmares.. not really. They’re from another timeline.” I let out a sigh. This conversation is beginning to exhaust me but he needs to know. I turn to him this time and he’s not holding back his own concern etched on his face. He gets up from his chair and sits at the edge of my bed. My gaze drifts to his hand. I remember a lingering feeling, probably from another memory of that timeline, that he’d reach out and hold my hand in his. 

“There was a war.. We were around at this age..” I continue, “We were trying to stop someone and... you died in the process. I revived you.. brought you back from the dead.” I watch him watch me. Not a single gasp was uttered nor any ounce of surprised was showed on his face. I didn’t sense any of that. There was so much I can pick from that unreadable frown. 

Longing, concern, understanding.. and it’s only occurred to me that he knows. He’s known this whole time. I was too engrossed to what he felt and what Trigon may do that I didn’t stop to read through his actions. But does he...

No.. I shouldn't ask... not when I haven't laid all the cards out..

"We have a bond.. sort of." I say, and he nods, confirming of his own assumptions, "But I'm not sure if this will get us killed. So far the pain inflicted on you does not mean I receive the same kind of pain. It just fuels my drive to protect you."

"And you think that this was a result from our previous affections to one another in that timeline." He concludes.

"We never really spent time together as... together." I say. It feels out of the blue but something about what I said needed to be heard, "You left for the League of Assassins. You offered me a place there because you had feelings for me. I would have went with you if Trigon hadn't threatened me to kill you if I stayed..."

I face him, feeling this odd confidence swelling within me. "I do still have feelings for you. And Trigon still wants to kill you so.. that hasn't changed.." 

There is a slight elation and giddiness within me as I catch a mixture of bewilderment and amusement on his features. But my heart begins to soar as I watch a tiny, tender smile drawn by his lips.

I've seen that smile before.. a couple of times. There were only glimpses of that smile during our many glances throughout the years, hidden beneath the layers of his mask.

And now the last of his mask has finally come off.

"Raven," he says and I feel the tingle in my ears at the sound of my name, "You should know by now that my perseverance exceeds the fear of being devoured by demonic conquerer of worlds."

I frown at him. "You sound so sure of yourself..."

"You've defeated him twice, Raven." He reasons, "In this timeline and probably in other timelines. You were lucky, you say, but now.. you're--no, we're, more than four times as lucky."

"Damian.. where is this all coming from?" I ask, because he makes it sound so simple. Like he's up against merely a strict father who wouldn't let his daughter marry the person she loves in those cheesy romcoms. But this isn't a romcom. This is Trigon, for Azar's sake..

"He isn't called a Conquerer of Worlds for no reason!"

"And that doesn't stop you for creating a tiny fortress that entraps and gradually diminishes his demonic magic instead of trapping him in a crystal and sticking it to your forehead from your other timeline. Look Raven,” he continues, “You and I both know that there’s something between us? Why wait for the inevitable?” Why wait till I leave for the League of Assassins? Why wait till the possibility of Apokolips comes around again? He leans in and his bright green eyes search my own.

I keep my frown on my face, not wanting to give in to his charms. He throws back a smirk because he's fucking...

"Insufferable. That’s what you are." I spit the words at him, only halfheartedly at best. He laughs. The cheeky fucker is laughing me.

"But I'm a kind and generous soul." He teases with a grin on his face. And shit, I can't fight my own my smile any longer. He reaches out and I meet him halfway, entwining our fingers together. I haven't affirmed anything but the gesture already is the answer. Our answer. We’ve been dancing around this for a long time. Might as well take the chance before it’s too late.

Something magical, his aura perhaps, loops with my own. I close my eyes let the magic guide me.. and him. A meadow materializes itself and I find him in the distance, his smile warm and inviting. I extend my hand to him and he mirrors my actions. A raven flies out of my hand and another one out of his. At the same time we open our eyes and-

The magic suddenly bursts forth into a kaleidoscope of colors, a plethora of shapes of any kind. They all coalesce into a giant raven. A white raven. It soars above us, circling around the room with a happy tune. It eventually disappears into a sparkle of fireworks. We laugh and turn our gazes to one another. 

With foreheads pressed against each other, we guide our silent conversation with twinkles in our eyes and smiles forming on our lips. It's like those typical chessy lovebird montage things people see in romantic subplots. It might be the calmness of the air or the sleep edging its way through my train of thought but I can sense our heartbeats in sync. A lullaby to my woes, perhaps, but someone like me can hope that this bond is knitting our souls into a comfortable blanket, however mysterious and unpredictable it may be.

Trigon's box rattles on the table. I almost forgot that it was there in the first place. I feel his presence, cursing disgusting words at the edge of my aura but I pay no heed. 

After all, I'm a billion times luckier now.

[itsjusta]

April 18, 2021

itsss my 21st birthdaaay!!!! heheh i already chika u da ganaps of yesterday maaan heheh now issa no ganap just byahe2 and my body hurts a looot gyd doe gi pamaol gyd ko aishhhh i just rested lang doe and nag meeting lang mi sa group mga 30 mins das the only productive thing i did todaaayyy but still a good day dooeee and yesterday was fuuun heheh

and aish rant lang ko a litol doeee cos kanina sa amo gc kato naa sila gicil mariel cess and friends issa gi ungit2 namo si claireee kay gi my day sya ni lester hahaha then nipadulong saako ang topic like issa asa na daw akoa and joke2 rapd ko nga i flex ra nako hulat2 lang lyk dat and ana pd si mariel nga pa billboard daw sya if ka uyab ko again 🤦🏻‍♀️ and aishhh gicil said dayon something like pag story2 gyd aya, sila ra ba diay pwede ma happy lyk dat btaaaaw and aishhh haha laff raman ko ato but i think cos people see na happy naka sa imo relationship now and ako wala jd baya koy post2 issa im lowkey najd baya on socmed and wa jd silay madungog sako lovelife (kay wa man sd diha?!?!) maybe they assume that i’m not happy btaaaw becos we live very different lives na now doe and they see that you’re happy while ako wala jd hahah i mean tru man nga i’m not genuinely happy wid lyf doeee like i feel empty and sad a lot of times but aishh dapat people dont assume huuuh ion like ittt hahah cos aish i think maybe ppl get luoy at me cos wala pako kauyab and ikaw happy na hahah aishhh issa i also get sad for myself but dapat ako lang ma sad for me doeee not other people ion like it cos they dont know a lot of things doeee

i mean i also dont know a lot of things doeee hahaha i dont know what u post on twitter and ig storyyy but i know ure public with ur lovelife gyd doeee and i know people know you’re happy gyd and i’m happy for u doeee hahah but aishhh i hope people dont compare your life to mine doeee :(( aish dis making me cry ahsgahhah cos i know man myself nga layo gyd kaayo ta now doeeee like in terms of healing and happiness you’re the one man jd who’s healed and happy doe and ako not man gyddd and bsag i know dat issa it still hurts me doe if maka think ko about dat and sometimes i feel ulaw doe and i feel luoy gyd at myself cos lahi lagi kaayo ta but u know i dont pugos dat doeee :(( i cant force myself gyd das why i iwas gyd na maka update saimo lovelife doeee i dont want gyd to know ur ganaps cos it makes me realize more how happy u are na doeee

basta aishhh i know my chika is so libooog hahah but a lot of people ga abang2 kinsa ako sunod mauyab doeee haahhah and di pa raba jd ko manguyab until after college so mag ugot nalang sila doeee!!!! hahah das all laaang it just doesnt sound right to me doee the things they said hahah

anywaaaay i’m 21 naaaa and still a baby!! hehe thank u sooo much doeee for everything 🥺🥺 4 years naka sko lyf huuuhh when paman ka muhawa!! hahahaha jkkk doeee u’ll always be a part of meee and i’m gonna be ur bff always bsag im not ur bff anymore doeee hahah bleh

alsooo: wa gyd ta nagpa massage doeee other girl gyd to imo kauban 🤦🏻‍♀️ we have no convo of getting a massage gydddd imo na nuon ko pa think huh maybe gyd lahi imo kauban omg!!!