#this is what happens when you become obsessed w technoblade ig

[mossy-covered-bones]

I think ive managed to accidentally classically condition my brain into thinking braids are a masc hairstyle

[radios-arcade]

HELLO I AM. POSITIVELY OBSESSED W YOUR SPIDER KING SHDJAHJDHD I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOODNESS I WOULD LOVE TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM EXCUSE ME WHILE I RANT Origins: Okay so obviously his name is technoblade. He lives in an alternate dimension that never quite got out of the medieval era. And at the beginning of the story he's kind of just a guy trying to make ends meet and farm his potatoes, but their kingdom is under tyrannical rule so its not exactly the easiest. They get mega taxed, people are getting wrongfully thrown in jail and executedd, people's houses are routinely searched and looted, and every day more and more land is being taken form the people that live on it. A lot of the time to make ends meet Techno steals and pickpockets, sneaking into richer areas of the kingdom and breaking into houses there during the night for anything valuable or any interesting bits and bobs for his friend/roommate. Techno lives with his best friend Phil, who's a really incredible inventor, and who recently has been working on trying to figure out the power of flight. So think Da Vinci-esque wing backpack kind of vibes.

And Phil is getting really really close to actually getting it to work, when the king's men bust in to do a 'routine check' and loot the house. So of course they find the wings, and of course they yoink them for the king. They also destroy the blueprints while they're at it, because anything that belongs to the king cannot belong to anyone else. Phil is devastated, rightfully so. That was basically his life's work, all of the parts took ages for Techno to grab, and its basically irreplaceable work. Techno decides he's had enough, and he breaks into the castle to get those wings back for Phil. Techno's honestly pretty good at breaking into places at this point, so he gets all the way to the king's vault without getting caught. As soon as he steps in he realizes that this is where all of the villages stuff is that the king's men have stolen and looted and robbed in the past, and he realizes he can't just leave it all behind. SO he throws the wings on his back and starts shoveling all of the goods and riches into his bag, throwing jewelry over his neck and onto his wrists, just absolutely everything he can carry. One such thing he takes is a golden spider totem he throws around his neck.

He's able to escape back out unscathed, but not without guard notice. He gets back to the village and starts returning all of the goods and riches and keepsakes that the king stole back to the village people. Phil is absolutely ecstatic to have his wings back, but he's also worried because its not like the king wont notice that all of this stuff is missing. Techno's passed out everything except one, the spider totem still around his neck. But if won't come off, like the spider totem's legs have physically buried into his skin. And while he's trying to get this off the soldiers ride into town. The totem isn't something he can hide, so the soldiers surround and overwhelm him, arresting him along with Phil as the main operators. Techno had obviously been a pretty big pain in not only the king's side, but most of the upper class's, and this seems to have been the last straw, so he's set for execution. They decide to kill him with the last remaining necklace on, as an example of what happens to those that take from the king. He's set under a sword to be killed, and while the king starts his speech about all of Techno's wrongs, Techno has a vision. He's visited by the blood god(specifically the god of spilled blood, blood for new life, and harvested blood) which in this is kind of a giant spider god (think kind of spiderman noir vibes ig?) The god says that the totem chose Techno, that it gave him a chance, and that if he wanted to live the god could help him. On one condition. Techno becomes the blood god's warrior and patron and carries on its message and word. Techno agrees just as the sword closes in on his neck. And Techno does die. But someone else lives. The spider totem fills his veins, mends his neck, and lifts him up onto his feet. The last remnant of it being a small emerald still embedded in his chest.

The rest of the spider totem had exploded outwards and wrapped around Techno, which is how his costume forms. Techno breaks free from the chopping block, grabs the sword from the executioner, and kills not only the executioner but the king and his soldiers. Once he decapitates the king just as the king did to Techno, he takes the crown and cloak from the body as a token and warning to any other monarchs he comes across. He and Phil, now with not only purpose but power to impose that purpose, travel to other kingdoms to take down the tyrannical monarchies that take root and set people free. He is called Spider-King by most, due to the cloak and crown he'll don from time to time, and Phil is dubbed the Vulture for the wings he flies on and how wherever he goes you know death is sure to be. They defend all they can from tyrants and corrupt monarchs, and at the end of the day they always return to their village, to home. Powers babeyy: -Spiderwebs! His spiderwebs are actually blood that he is able to thwip out from his wrist that solidify into golden spider thread as it travels outwards and connects with its target. -Supa Strength. He was already a piglin hybrid, which means mans was already pretty buff, so now he's even stronger. Lets just say it took some getting used to. -Can stick to walls. Makes it easy to sneak into places, thats for sure. -Blood God's Whisper. Think of Spidey Sense, that's what it is. HOWEVER it also entails the actual god constantly whispering in Techno's mind trying to get him to do things, in an almost constant stream

Fun Facts: -Technoblade hates the name Spider-King. He is the killer of kings. He prefers the name the Anarchist, although that eventually mutates into the Arachnist through the grapevine combined with his funky spider powers. -Many people think that Techno Blade was fully killed that day, adnt hat the Arachnist was actually an avenger of his death -he farms potatoes, we love to see it. Best in the kingdom babey -He uses his costume as a scarecrow when he's not out vigilante-ing about with Phil -The emerald remnant from the totem is permanently embedded in his skin, so he just connected a gold chain to it so people will think its a necklace. He taps it twice to activate the uniform and twice again to deactivate it bonus doodle because im eepy: