#this is what i write instead of my actual dissertation btw. if you even care

[gettingbyy]

6/24/2024 - 6/25/2024

this post is for mouse, but you can read it, too, if you want.

a triple shot espresso drink was involved when i started this and it shows.

i was just reading through my older posts - i must be some kind of fortune-telling witch, cos i mentioned the water heater going bad soon in february (which it did, in april) and i worried about void baby and ori's contentious relationship only getting worse, which it did and continues to do. maybe i'm a disaster witch.

since we've talking more regularly i don't have as much for general life updates, but i do have a few things i need to muse on. you can skip this one if you want, it might get a little wild. will send you a name abbreviation guide in discord with the post link. /|\ ^._.^ /|\

i just created a channel for our blog and video links if you're interested. it may not be necessary so let me know your thoughts xD i just figured this way they wouldn't get lost in our general chat. but also you email me video links so... i dunno xD

first,

i discovered i can control my phone's spotify through my work laptop now. i think i was always supposed to be able to do that, but it always broke everything before. this is good.

second,

this one is risky cos he might be reading this but yolo i want to get it out there. i think i told you i blocked C? a little while ago, maybe a month. it's been...like honestly relieving in a lot of ways. i'll tell you more about the history when A and i first got together, and right after we broke up, but suffice to say for more recent times, i got tired of the sex pest-y vibes and unwanted horniness. it was a classic case of manic pixie dream girl, too, and repeated misgendering. the misgendering part is kinda funny cos it started out very "respectful" when i first told him i'm enby, and then slowly over time he stopped checking in and started using wrong pronouns and super gendered language. after the 3rd or 4th she/her i stopped correcting and just got tired. this one has been an interesting look into the human psyche in some ways for me, and toxic ally behaviors. (i hate the word behaviors, it feels so corporate and pseudo-psychological now. i can expand on that if you want. i'd love to research how corporations are using therapy-speak and psychological terms to manipulate their employees, but also that might make me angry. i could write a dissertation on JA alone. ANYWAYS.) i even tried indulging C for awhile when he kept pressuring me to talk about sex, but i think that just emboldened him instead of ameliorating the issue. give an inch, they'll take a mile, as the saying goes. it just got so exhausting to constantly find new ways to say no.

as far as the manic pixie dream girl thing goes, this was really hammered home for me when i sent him a link to a story i was revisiting and reworking/editing. it just became so incredibly obvious that he literally did not care about me as a person other than what he thought/assumed i brought to the table, both in terms of sex and otherise. i'd talked to C before about wanting to start writing again and needing encouragement, feeling like an imposter, etc. but then when i was rereading my story, i found it to be more solid than i originally thought and got inspired to work on it again. i sent him a link to the story and said basically exactly that, and warned it needed more editing. he said he'd look at it "in a bit," and then a full 24+ hours later was like "oh hey i read it btw." his only feedback was "yeah i really like it! it's in dire need of an editing pass but the characters are solid." and i'm like great, thanks....... then four-ish days later he randomly goes "proud of you babe" in the middle of an already weird nonsensical conversation, so i asked what for, and he said "revisiting old works with a critical eye" which was literally the opposite of what i was doing lol. i was actually actively trying not to be too critical so i didn't burn myself out immediately, which i then told him. he never responded. i dunno, it's wild to me that after like 10 or 11 years of knowing each other he still has such a fixed idea of who i am and doesn't update that idea with new information. i'm basically a notepad file in his brain that hasn't been changed since 2013. it feels super manic pixie dream girl because i'm on this pedastal that he's created for me out of his own imagined impressions of/desires for me, and he responds based on that depiction instead of what's actually in front of him. also what makes him think he can use nicknames like that with me? the audacity, honestly.

having had him blocked for a month, i definitely know i made the right choice. talking to someone like that who has such a fixed idea of who you are despite evidence to the contrary really fucks you up in some subtle ways. there were times when i was questioning my communication skills because he had ideas about me so blatantly wrong, or took conversations in such a weird direction from what i was saying. it felt most often like he was talking sideways at me based on the first couple words i would say, instead of actually processing my full sentence(s). like he was just constantly 1000% distracted and couldn't be bothered to put any attention towards interacting with me, unless he was horny. you know when you're trying to talk to someone and they're looking at/doing something on their phone and they're responding with a couple words or like not really responding much at all? it felt like that, except constantly and always.

third,

i think between C and K i've definitely learned that just because someone was in/has been in my life for a long time, it doesn't necessarily mean they're doing any self-reflection or growing as a person. it's like a weird optimistic pitfall where you assume someone is a better person now because they've had so many opportunities to become one, and you used to be good friends with them so surely they've gone in a similar self-improvement journey. i don't know if i told you what went down with K, but he's a massive creep and hasn't improved literally at all since high school. one of the dating apps that's been more successful for me than the rest is no longer a viable option for me because of him. now that i think about it, i'd argue he's worse than he was back then; at least he regretted harassing/being weird towards other K and stopped/apologized. i should've known better all along probably, he aggressively grabbed my boob out of nowhere and without permission when we were waiting in the car after wind symphony in high school. he apologized and claimed he "misinterpreted signals," but it was still weird and uncomfortable and i never looked at him quite the same way again after that. also to be clear there were no signals to misinterpret. it's just wild to me that someone like K can be so shitty after nearly 15 years. another reminder to me that just because a path starts similarly doesn't mean it'll end similarly.

fourth,

this person's initial i'm going to change to S - it's actually D but i don't want to type things like "i've been ruminating on D a lot lately" lmao

i think i mentioned that i've been talking/interacting with S a little lately, through mutual friends/mutual gaming, and it's got me reflecting on 11 years ago and the turmoil he put me through. i was explaining everything that happened to A, she didn't know the full story because she was uncomfortable hearing about past flames when we first got together (also from trauma), and she was pretty floored at what/how/why he did what he did. i'll never forget that one line he used - "i'd like to pass on my genes, and given your family history i agree you probably shouldn't have children." obvi i don't want them anyway, but the eugenics vibes were strong and also that's pretty fucked up, especially considering what my dad was actively going through at the time. (aside: if his only concern is passing on genes, go to a sperm bank you gross fuck.)

a big part of why this is still semi-plaguing me (when i'm reminded of it) is the total lack of closure. i was never able to talk to S about what happened and how it affected me, nor was i able to get his thoughts on the situation. it's a mildly festering scrape i've had since it happened, and i have no idea how to resolve that. therapy, i guess. in the immediate aftermath, there was a month or so where we didn't talk much, then he reached out again and we were talking as constantly/closely as we had been. he was even a big support for me in the late hours of the evening after my mugging when the panic was setting in and i didn't have words to describe it. things didn't really end until sometime that summer - he just sort of stopped talking to me. we went from meaningful and lengthy conversations to one-word answers and pulling teeth for any reaction. i can only assume he had finally found "his people" in seattle and dropped me like i'm in toy story.

the wildest part is that S seems totally detached from it all, like he's forgotten it happened, or it mattered so little to him he may as well have forgotten it. we've hardly spoken in the intervening years (a rarity for me, most everyone else i've kept in touch with for at least a little while after the situationship broke off) and while he definitely still recognizes me as someone he knows (lmao can u imagine if he didn't), he's never made any remark/reference to our """"past""" or tried to talk about/apologize for/allude to it. i mentioned to P off-hand (he doesn't know what happened) that S gives me sociopath vibes sometimes with how disconnected he is from all of us, and P sort of agreed with me. "chaotic neutral" i think was the way he put it. maybe what i'm struggling with the most in fully processing it is that S seems to care so freaking little. even when i tried to talk to him a bit more about what we could maybe check out in the city, he just stopped responding after a couple messages. it's been fully years since he's ever sent me a message first or spoken to me without prompting, and i doubt that's going to change like...ever. i dunno. it's interesting how someone can be so impactful to you but they seem to feel completely the opposite. we didn't ""officially"" date, but damn if we didn't spend a shit-ton of time together and have a pretty big mutual meaning. it's the juxtaposition of knowing that, and seeing it completely unacknowledged and brushed under the rug that really gets to me. it feels akin to gaslighting, in some ways, in the most oblique/indirect way possible; i know it happened, and i know that he knows it happened, but we're just supposed to continue on like it's nothing and we were nothing. i'm not looking for some kind of declaration of lost love or profound regret, but just a little something as a treat would be nice.

Gotye's Somebody That I Used to Know was released in 2011. this situation happened in 2013, and fuck if that song isn't so painfully poignant about this.

fifth,

this will be a short one. i want to take more photos again. i haven't had a roll of film developed for months, and i've barely taken out my new-to-me (and very spendy lol) digital camera. i wish someone here would go with me. i get nervous in the city and being out alone, especially around this time of year (like clockwork, a monthish before and for a couple months after my muggingversary it flares up). i'll go when i really work up the courage, but the photos i make when i do show my anxiety somehow; i don't know how to describe it but you can just feel it. like when i was embroiled in terrible depression and anxiety being at QC and my photos were bleak and my insta was grey and dark and bleak. i'm really excited about our trip, getting to see you and burn through some film rolls and really try out my newish camera. it's gonna be good.

conclusion,

sorry for the incredibly long post lmao love you bbg and miss you can't wait to see you soon i hope you're doing okay today and having a middling to good day <3

[justmickeyfornow]

How do you sit down and write? Like do you write at tea/coffee shop to increase that anesthetics writer creativity? Or hole up under your blanket? I’ve been trying to write something for 2 months now without much progress. Any words of wisdom?

Boy, do I got a few tips for you!! 

These tips are mostly if you’re writing a story (but some work both ways), so if you’re writing a paper or a dissertation or something with no progress, I’ll gladly do another post for that!

Step right up and welcome to Mickey’s....

Sit Yo Ass Down And Write Crash Course

1. Tip number uno:

Never sit your ass down and write. 

Hear me out, hear me out. If you’re anything like me, then you’re probably a serial procrastinator who’s always in desperate need to just not do what needs to be done. It’s quite simple. All you gotta do is trick that damn beautiful but procrastinating brain of yours. 

How? Well, I’m glad you asked!

I actually do my best writing standing in lines! Yup! Standing in lines has written some of the most intense scenes in PI. Hospital and airport waiting areas? Yup. Lotsa writing done there! Basically, if you find yourself waiting for something, pull up your phone and start writing. Half of PI was written on the subway, on buses, or in cars. I don’t know what it is, but my brain becomes hyperactive at that point. Like I have to finish writing this scene before reaching the front of the line or else I’ll make a fool of myself in front of the pretty barista lady.

For us procrastinators, we like to find any and every excuse not to work. But when you’re not actually working and your doing something else instead, our procrastinating brain doesn’t really identify the action as writing.

Believe it or not I never actually ‘sit down and write’. I only do so when I’m editing. During the editing process, I force myself to sit down on an actual chair, in front of an actual laptop/computer screen, use an actual keyboard, and edit! It’s brutal! Makes my procrastinating brain go antsy!

2. Tip number two:

If you get an idea, stop, drop, and type!

Don’t think about it. Don’t overthink the idea. Just jot it down on your phone. I don’t care if you were talking to someone and it would be rude to do so. Because as soon as you let go of that idea and say, “I’ll write it down later” then poof! it’s gone! 

Repeat after me: STOP. DROP. AND TYPE.

3. Tip number trzy (Polish):

never write perfectly from the start. 

Write in bullet form if you have to. Or just type the idea you have in your head. The more you pressure yourself to writing something perfectly, the more you’ll forget your idea. And this works with both story writing and academic writing as well.

Writing is a lot like drawing. You start with pencil, draw the basics - dialogue, single action,  main thing that happens - then using your pencil, draw some of the details - the he said she said parts, turn the actions into full sentences with adjectives and description - then lastly add in the color - the punctuation, the indentations, and the splitting of paragraphs - and finally you have a picture.

Let me give you an example. This is a simple scene that I’m gonna write on the spot from the random phrase “There’s no space for my ice cream”. (I initially screen recorded a video for you, but then when I came to upload it, I unfortunately realized that Tumblr doesn’t allow videos on asks....)

So here you see just random dialogue. No actions even.

Then I added dialogue above it. So what you write first doesn’t necessarily mean what’s gonna come first.

More dialogue and some action.

Here I started fixing it up. Added indentations. Set a scene with Lena being in the other room and all.

And then Tada!

So, As you can see, I start with basic dialogue, just what I think they might say (it changes a lot btw). Then I add some actions. Then I go back up and write more dialogue before the dialogue I started with. Then I go ahead and indent a few lines here and there. I write the saids (Kara called. Lena answered. She said. Kara exclaimed. Kara whined). And then add in some scenery as well.

And like I said, this works for story writing as well as academic. I used to do the same thing when I needed to write a paper. I would start simple. No big words. Just somewhat of an idea of what I want to write and build up from there.

4. Tip number quatre (French):

Watch to learn. 

This means that when you’re watching something, whether it’s a movie or a tv show, learn how the characters react. Their quirks, their nervous habits, everything and anything that makes them them. I can’t count how many times I had to rewind a movie because I was too busy noticing how the main character’s eyes would linger on the coffee table in front of her before she would say something painful. Or how if a character is shoved to the ground, which body part hits the ground first. Go through scenes of movies and tv shows and learn how people behave.

Movies and Tv-shows could also help you with how a character can cope a certain way or react in a certain way. For example, I was watching this show on Netflix called “Dead To Me” and the main character, her husband was killed in a hit-and-run by a speeding car. And part of her grief was that she would jot down the licence plate number of every car that was speeding and every car that had a bump at its front. That’s a detail of a specific form of grief. You could have your own character be obsessed with finding a cure to heart attacks if their SO died that way.

5. Tip number cinque (Italian):

Use real people as reference. 

Sit in a coffee shop and creepily watch a woman sitting in the corner table. You gotta act all stalkerish here for it to work! Now pretend that it’s your character that’s sitting there. Write down the little things that the woman might do that you’ll probably never even think of if you would have written the scene at home. Like how the woman’s head jerks up when a car passes by and she watches it through the glass window. How her foot taps on the floor to the rhythm of her music. How she frowns when she spills some coffee on her sketch book. Everything. The silly faces she does to the toddler sitting in the other table.

Use real people. If you’re writing a girl who’s somewhat tomboyish, maybe go to a skateboard park or something. Go to a fancy restaurant if you’re writing a rich old lady. A library if you’re writing a college student. 

6. Tip number lix (Somali):

Don’t write in order.

I cannot stress this enough. Write bottom to top. Middle to top. Middle to bottom. Write middle to bottom to middle again to top. Just don’t do it in order. Most of the time I write a paragraph thinking this is how I’m going to start my scene and it ends up being somewhere in the middle of all the chaos! Writing in order doesn’t make sense not even in essay writing. You never write an introduction first because you need a thesis. In order to have a thesis you need to know what the hell your body paragraphs are talking about. So, you start with your body. Not necessarily the first body paragraph either.

Write whatever comes to mind and figure out the order later. Chances are, it’ll change a billion times over before you commit to one. Writing in order gives your brain stress and in turn you’ll probably get a mental block. You’re too pressured to write the opening scene of the chapter that you forget what the hell happens in the end. And you lose that excitement, that flare you have to write the scenes that you had figured out in your head. Which sucks. Because it’s nearly impossible to get that back!

Also don’t worry about how you’ll combine everything in the end. That’s for the editing process, you’re not there yet. And from my experience, things tend to come together in the end on their own so you shouldn't worry too much.

7. Tip number seitsemän (Finnish):

Details, dude! They are everything!

(This one has nothing to do with being unable to write.... I realized this only AFTER I wrote it.....)

sometimes the details have nothing to do with the main characters, but writing them helps the reader feel like there’s a world there being lived beyond the characters he or she is reading about.

It paints a picture. And in writing, it’s very hard painting a picture with a white paper and some black ink. And that’s when details come in hand.

What I like to do is I like to zoom in on the scene I’m writing. Picture the scene in your head. Let’s take for example both characters are sitting on a bench in the park. Now pretend you have a pair of binoculars and zoom in on the scene. You’ll probably see a small ladybug that is sitting on the bench between them that one of the characters noticed but didn’t say anything because they know the other person is afraid of bugs. So they carefully pick it up without letting the other person know and they place it on the other side beside them. Or maybe you’ll realize there’s some carvings on the edge of the bench. A heart with an arrow and two letters on each end. Your character will probably wonder who the letters belong to, what were their names, and whether or not she and the other person would ever carve their own letters on a bench somewhere.

Details make a simple scene of two people sitting beside one another, into a whole picture of everything around them. 

8. Tip number osm (Czech):

Do research!

Top weird things I had to do a ton of research about for my stories:

How to build a gas bomb that you could release through the ventilation system of a buildingWhat kind of metal are the batarangs made of?How to bring someone back from the dead?How much space do you need to build a rocket and is a football field enough?How high should a person’s IQ be for them to be considered ‘genius’ level of smartQuantum Mechanics and matter reconfiguration devicesintracortical microstimulation (whatever that is) and how to use it to create the sense of touch in amputee limbs

The list goes on, trust me!

But research gives you an idea of where to begin. Sometimes, you don’t even know what it is you’re writing and you get ideas from your research. Research gives your readers a realistic sense to your world. Even if it’s not real. Even if all you’ve written is fake. They don’t know that! But what they do know is that your character is hella smart and can create a device using intracortical microstimulation to help create the sense of touch in amputee limbs!

Fun fact: Watch "True Memoirs of an International Assasin”. It’s on Netflix. And it’s every writer’s nightmare. It explains just how much we writers would go for that small detail. It shows you the depths we will take to ensure we know every detail of what it is we’re writing about! Highly recommended for every writer out there!

9. Tip number dokuz (Turkish):

If you’re stuck, act it out!

Yup, you heard me! Get yo ass off that chair and start practicing for your next Oscar because you’r gonna act out the scene you wanna write. Say your character just entered her house and called out to their spouse without a response. Go inside your own house and start jotting down the details of what you see. Your character will probably notice the lack of shoes. How the kitchen light isn’t turned on. Or the hum of the dishwasher not present. No keys in the bowl. All small things that they slowly realize before actually realizing that no one was home.

Acting also gives you ideas on how someone would react. Walk into your own house and imagine finding out you’ve been robbed. All your stuff is everywhere. Now, realistically - and I mean really really realistically - you wouldn’t freak out. At least not physically on the outside. You wouldn’t start jumping and shouting and go looking in your room if your cash is gone.

Because your brain needs time to process. You would have questions. Lots of them. Is the thief still here? Should I call the police? No, what if this is a prank. Is this a prank? Who would prank me like this? Your eyes would go around the room, noting down all the details there. The broken glass, the opened drawers, the thrown pillows. Use your own surroundings to imagine what a robbed place would look like.

10. Tip number umi (Hawaiian):

Always remember, each character is different.

(Realized this one also has nothing to do with being stuck and not being able to write and more to do with character writing... I think I went off topic....)

I always find stories where all the characters are practically written the same way. The dialogue is really generic. Because the writer isn’t really imagining as each character being a separate entity. They’re all characters of a story to them. The way one character talks is often if not always never the same way another character talks. AND a certain character will talk differently depending on who they’re talking with.

Give each of your characters certain attributes or quirks that they add to their dialogue. Like how the more sophisticated one chooses to say ‘darling’ instead of ‘babe’ or how one of them speaks in short and concise sentences having served time in the army and taught that each word counts. I know this tip isn’t that important, but I’ve seen a lot of writers do this mistake where all the dialogue is the same. And that’s because they’re trying so hard to move the story along that they forget that they need time for the characters to react and process differently.

Similarly, make sure that you know that each character reacts differently. I’ve fallen into this mistake several times actually to be honest. This one time I wrote a whole scene where I had Lena be super happy about something (can’t remember what it was) with someone she wasn’t too close with and then I remembered that she’s more reserved than Kara. She less trusting so she rarely shows her genuine side to others unless she knows them to be worthy or good. She’s not too open so she wouldn’t show her happiness by jumping around and screaming with joy. Whereas Kara! Oh, Kara! She would hug the mailman when she would be happy! And she’s probably best friends with her pizza delivery guy! Had to do multiple rewrites whenever I would do that mistake.

11. Tip number vienuolika (Lithuanian):

Drink Green Tea.

Repeat after me: Drink. Green. Tea.

No explanation necessary. Tea is life.

[bi-honor]

Why the “Batman should just kill the Joker” argument is stupid.

Pre-scriptum: This turned out a bit longer and a lot more complicated than I’ve expected. Please bear with it.

Sunday night, before heading back to uni, I decided not to sleep (like a sensible person would), and instead started watching Gotham.

And shit, son.

A show that actually understands the underlying themes of Gotham?

I can't believe it.

This realization reminded me of the million times, when I've been hit with the good ol’ "Batman should just kill the Joker, he is so stupid" argument.

Hearing this always drove me crazy, but now I can actually present a (somewhat) coherent debunking, so strap in for a little rant.

So the two main arguments, that come up are as follows: Killing the villains would more effectively reduce crime.

Batman’s presence is just worsening Gotham’s situation by creating/pulling supervillains into Gotham causing even more death and suffering in the process.

Now, depending on the exact iteration, these are correct observations, but they miss the goddamned point of everything.

Batman is not a person. He is an ideology. He is not a man, as much as the idea, that justice is real and is coming to kick your ass, in a city where major criminal offenses are justified with “this is Gotham, kid. Get over it”. It is not a coincidence that Bruce is commonly referred to as the mask of Batman and not the other way around.

He is trying to uphold the power of law and correct the system where it is goes to shit. This is the reason why many of his small scale opponents are corrupt cops and why several of his allies are people such as Jim Gordon (who is trying to fix the police from the inside) and pre-Two Face Harvey Dent (who does the same on a legal/political plane). How he uses his personal financial and political power reflects the same.

Now, the reason why I’m harping on about this is that one of the core tenets of human civilization is the “no kill” rule, which is also the most important element of Batman’s backstory. Killing is viewed as necessary evil by many people, but the end goal should always be minimizing it, and shifting the focus to rehabilitation. It is not a coincidence that Arkham is an asylum, not a prison. Due to writers wanting to use the same villains, and their relevant themes, they cannot be cured (long-run comics be damned), but that does not change the fact that it IS an asylum (a facility or rehabilitation), not a prison or the Phantom Zone (which are only for containment, and are linked to much more “wholesome” heroes).

Batman is often praised for his rouge’s gallery and for good reason. Besides packing style and AWESOME in troves, they are all (at least the good ones) defined by a single or a few overriding flaws and deviations from order. Here is a (non-conclusive) list: Wanting to demolish all order as a reaction to its flaws (Anarchy), declaring oneself above the rest due to outstanding intellect or some other quality (Riddler), wanting to abolish civilization and let nature take over (Posion Ivy), taking arbitrary laws too seriously (Two Face) or my personal favourite: putting one’s personal trauma above the rest of humanity (Dr. Freeze), they all represent real and understandable ideologies that are constantly up against the ideal of law and order. And don’t forget the antithesis of Bats and literal definition of LE, Joker, who quite literally represents men’s tendency to be evil just cause, and who also happens to be the ultimate cynic (more on that in a minute).

But the villains are not the main opposition of Batman. It is Gotham itself (thus the name of the show). Batman doesn’t become Batman because people are being abducted for experimentation or because the Joker is killing people. He becomes Batman, because he is living in a city, where two people are shot in front of their child for a necklace and everyone just waves it off as yesterday’s news. The real enemy is cynicism, the idea that things cannot and will not change for the better. He is one of the few, who faced with cynicism and neglect for such things, stands up and says ‘No. It does not have to be like that.” He is dead-set on bringing a better world to fruition and breaking the fundamentals of his beliefs would equal to ceasing to exist as what he is and the resistance he signifies. He can be cynical in his approach, but always within bounds, and never on an ideological level (barring deconstructions, but those are deconstructions for a reason).

(I don’t want to write an entire dissertation, so I swore I wouldn’t bring up paladins or Sanderson, therefore I assume the dear reader can make the connection)

In the faithful Batman stories, both his unrelenting realism and fundamental care for others are emphasized. He approaches situations with a level head, and almost always asks the villains to put the weapons down, before actually engaging in combat. For example, in the animated Justice League series (the be all, end all of animated superheroism) we see Batman tell the entire JLA that they can either kick him out or see why a contingency is needed for their own power, and we also see Batman sitting down on a swing with a little girl who might be a danger to the fabric of reality, so she wouldn’t have to spend her last minutes alone.

One could say that Batman himself is quite the broken and hypocritical character as he exhibits many of the traits which identify his villains. He is a vigilante (Anarchy), almost solely inspired by personal trauma and loss (Freeze), constantly imposes an arbitrary moral code on others (Two-face), and so on. However there are many reasons why this only betters the whole thing.

First and foremost, Batman is trying to create the synthesis of the ideal and the realistic and make it into a comprehensive and ordered system, which just so happens to be the fundamental challenge of legislation and governance. Secondly the best Batman stories and his meta villains (Arkham series, Red Hood) can very effectively bounce off of these “flaws” allowing for a further exploration of the themes. Thirdly, when his fundamentals are broken (the original Dark Knight) and it is not fucked up (LOOKIN’ AT YOU SNYDER) it makes for a very effective deconstruction. There is also a fourth reason, but let me get back to that later.

Now, on the show itself. In one of the first scenes we witness Gordon being ridiculed, after not shooting an obviously miserable junkie and taking a more circumvent approach, just so killing could be avoided. Later we see police applaud a serial killer for killing crooks, right up until he targets a policeman (who is also a crook btw), where they suddenly go all “we don’t kill a policemen, hurrdurr”. Said serial killer turns out to be a guy who worked with orphans for decades and thought the only way to change the city would be to start killing the corrupt. He doesn’t even have to pick his targets, because anyone, who has the slightest smidgen of power in Gotham would be a proper target.

The villains in the show are also shown to be evil, but also fundamentally broken as people, which is the cause of their villainy. Cobblepot is very obviously a bullied loner, Nigma is viewed as a loser by everyone while he just wants to share what he finds interesting, Selina’s only brush with authority was getting thrown into institutions and Ivy experienced an abusive family. Being broken doesn’t excuse their choices, but it does give rise to them, tying into the fact that there is a root cause for evil other than human nature and that it can be treated.

Now the final reason why Batman not being perfect is not a problem, is that he is not actually the ideal hero of the world of Gotham. Due to all his hypocrisies and nigh superhuman nature, he is not actually the best synthesis of order and Gotham. The real ideal is Jimmy Gordon himself.

Why? He shares, both the unrelenting idealism and humanity of Batman, but he does so without having to resort to terror tactics or vigilantism. And without access to ALL THE MONEY or superhuman intellect. This is the reason why he is the main of the show and not Bruce and also why in some versions of the story, Batman falls, giving rise to more perfect heroes and Gordon is the one who tidies up the GCPD and/or becomes mayor.

Take for example the pier scene from the show [mild spoliers]. Harvey (a different one) takes Jim and Cobblepot out to the pier and says that Jim must shoot the guy into the water or their ass is grass. Now, Jim is presented with two options here. Comply (give in to status quo) or Resist (and die shortly thereafter, also feeding into the status quo). Batman would choose Resist, which is a valid choice, but only for him and not the layman. However, Jim recognizes the false ‘agency’ inherent in the choice and breaks the system by coming to a third solution. This moment, in one scene summarized, what the struggle for a better Gotham is and how it can be achieved.

(Struggling not to bring Geralt into this)

Which ties us back to the main point of this whole thing. Killing the Joker or any other villain for that matter, does not solve the problem, because the Joker is not the problem. The problem is that Gotham is a place which produces people like him on a consistent and reliable basis and that its own habitants believe that this cannot be changed. Viewing killing as the only solution only strengthens the very core of the problem and at best momentarily cures some of the symptoms, but not the sickness itself.

In the spawn of 4 episodes, the show demonstrated, what is the problem of Gotham, how it affects everyday life and thinking, how truly superhuman Bruce is even as a kid, how the city creates its own broken people, what challenges someone has to face if they want to produce change and it managed not to be crowded to incomprehensibility or made into a cheese-fest. I hope it will not go off its rails, as I don’t know if anything ever inspired this type of positive excitement from me. Rant over

[junkobears]

Here Lies Dreaded V3 Discourse

So I have seemed to cause a huge kerfuffle in the hardcore Ouma conspiracy theorists standom, and a banal (if condescending, but seeing the response to it honestly justifies it more than anything now. “Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it”, you better believe I can take it and will now PROPERLY dish it out right back at you) comment about one of Tsumugi’s anime references has led to someone launching a hilariously personal attack at me for Daring To Disagree With A Theory That Was Posted On A Public Website. Someone who I wasn’t even initially responding too, at that. And has now blocked me before even allowing me to respond and clarify my original comments. Don’t want to deal with the consequences of being a repugnant, rude person I guess? Shock and surprise for Tumblr.

The link to the post is here, but I’ve taken the liberty to screenshot it just in case it gets deleted later, in hope that maybe there’ll be some reflection on this person’s part that this really is not an acceptable way to respond to people who have a dissenting opinion? Anyways, I will be responding to the personal attack post and that will be the last time I interact with this group, because clearly it’s not worth it to actually have a discussion about our respective ending theories. I ain’t got time beyond this for tedious insecure fucks these days.

Anyways, my response is under the cut to save my poor followers’ dashes. Sorry to drag drama onto my blog but I can’t really let this slide. I’m also tagging @jacks-plays-drv3 just because I assume the twin comes with the other with these two, and I want my response to have been seen.

Screenshot In This Link - This post is long enough without the image taking up more space, haha.

Let’s start with this mess, shall we? And I will go into painstaking detail.

Paragraph 1: So this already starts off with a whole lot of needless aggression and projection. So I’m not even going to attempt to be nice back. But: maybe I haven’t proven anything because I literally had not typed up a response to clarify my original comments @ Jacks yet before the rabid attack dog was unleashed? Like, there was literally no attempt from you to have a discussion that was a genuine offer from me, I was not out to get you actually. I also honestly just laughed at being called shallow, JUST LIKE THAT HORRIBLE CHARACTER TSUMUGI SHIROGANE right off the bat as well. That’s a compliment really, honey. Weirdly I don’t share the same opinions as you do. Tsumugi is my fave and unlike you I actually think about and HAVE analyzed/discussed her character in detail previously, which I would’ve been happy to share had you not immediately went into Blind Raging Idiot Mode. Guess we can’t have it all, huh?

As for needing proof that she makes the Flashback Lights... nevermind the CG that literally shows her making them during Chapter 6, but do you have proof that Monokuma is the person who makes the Lights instead of just placing them for the students? I doubt it, somehow. Cuz a lot of your theories don’t actually have any concrete proof. Quelle surprise. Probably why anyone not immediately on board with your headcanon gets you so goddamn angry, huh? Cuz it’s completely baseless and you know it at heart.

As for the Ouma comments, actually I have read the assorted creator comments regarding his character even if you like to believe I’m a slobbering moron who turned my brain off as soon as I finished V3, so yes I already know that his name was chosen to sound mastermind-like. Maybe this was to emphasize and make his fake mastermind reveal appear more legit on first read? JUST A THOUGHT, SWEETIE. You know the entire fucking point of Chapter 5? You’re so slavishly devoted to your theory that you actually are incapable of reading the basic fucking text from the actual game, but again. Not a surprise. Considering what I’ve read from your blog (really, who are you again? I only knew Jacks’ blog from before all this, so you taking such a personal offense at my comments is honestly hilarious but baffling at the same time. It ain’t all about you, babe.)

As for the lab door, here’s an simpler explanation (Occam’s Razor, look it up): The star sign constellation pattern was there as a hint for the player to connect Ouma’s messages from his dorm room to the vault in Amami’s lab once its opened and you can see the star signs in there. Or perhaps it was designed like that by TDR to make the students make that connection as well in the original script and think that Ouma was the mastermind cuz of the connection to Amami’s lab? Literally, there are a lot of possibilities, cuz it’s a NOTHING DETAIL THAT DOESN’T ACTUALLY MATTER IN THE BIG PICTURE. Considering Kodaka’s track record with writing these games I don’t actually believe it’s anything major, personally. He doesn’t really strike me as the type to hide this completely separate story underneath the actual story we got, and with such vague nothing “”””””””””””clues””””””””””””. You and Jacks do yourselves (well you already do cuz you love to jack yourselves off with how CLEVER AND BETTER you are than the rest of us plebs), sure, in believing otherwise (You have way too much faith in him as a writer. Or you’re desperately trying to pretend V3 wasn’t poorly written cuz you don’t like the Ch. 6 twist) but also realize that its nothing more than extrapolation on your part that it actually means anything beyond the.... SHALLOW (horror scream) connection given in-game.

And really, who the fuck cares if it doesn’t match the title of ‘Supreme Leader’? It’s already a ridiculous talent as it stands already. The entire point of his character is that everything about him, his motives and his talent is contradictory and weird. That’s why I like him, actually. He isn’t an abused martyr who never lies like you goons believe and he also isn’t the evil monstrous chessmaster some of the fandom thinks. It’s Complex Motives™ .

Anyways moving on. Pointing out an anime reference =/= DISREGARDING PEOPLE’S ANALYSIS. Pointing out that most of the plot leads up to and supports the fiction twist =/= uncritically agreeing with everything Tsumugi says. Actually, after examining the game’s story for myself I came to the conclusion that all the clues in it really only support her version of the story, really. There are a few things I think she lied about, but it is not CONCLUSIVELY proven she lied in my opinion and so I don’t really give a fucking toss until new canon comes out and reveals more of the V3 story. Oumatwin don’t real, gurl. If there was actually anything in-game beyond one obvious joke line in the NON-CANON!!!!!!! bonus mode supporting that he existed, maybe I’d respect your theory more. Even though you don’t deserve respect after your little tantrum. 

Paragraph 2: Jesus I already am investing way too much time into this response at people who don’t actually deserve it, oh well. But laughing hard at the attempt to try and act as if you weren’t being a snobby asshole with your comments. Again, HUGE AMOUNTS OF PROJECTION at me about things I literally have never done and said. I have never interacted with you or Jacks prior to my initial comment. No fucking clue why you brought up the SaiOuma shit, cuz I don’t even LIKE Saihara as a character and don’t like that fujobait ship in the slightest? But I guess it’s easier to assume that all your critics are the exact same fucking person with the same opinions, so you can feel more persecuted, huh? You literally did not even wait for me to respond or check my blog that would’ve easily disproven these dumb-as-fuck assumptions. And get off the fucking high horse (pun completely intended), you lot are not the only people in this fandom who are capable of critical thought. How completely self-obsessed can you be? 

For someone who claims to have a lot of critical thinking skills compared to this nasty fandom, you really are terrible at parsing other people’s words. You fucking know when I said “group of anime fans” that I was referring to Team Danganronpa, the organization literally mentioned in game as running the game. The group Tsumugi is part of. She literally has a company badge FFS. THEY ARE ANIME FANS. THEY ALL STARTED KILLING GAMES CUZ THEY ALL LOVE THIS SHITTY SERIES. I can’t believe this had to be explained. And the rest of this paragraph word salad is the most pedantic argument. It’s really not hard to believe an organization in this series would have access to all this tech. And yes, it’s a popular TV show in-universe, of course it’ll have funding. And the whole damn point of the ending is that the V3 world is consuming fiction the wrong way by having real-life killing games, missing the entire point of the DR series and fiction in general? What’s your actual point?

Paragraph 3: Again more assumptions, I wasn’t ‘crying’ about being called gullible. I was just pointing it out as part of your extremely unnecessary smug dismissal of my post. That you really haven’t disproved at all, btw. Honestly the childish response you both had to me just makes me laugh out of pity more than anything. And if I was really upset I wouldn’t have offered to have a discussion with you or even continued to reply after Jacks initial (vague) post about what I said. So don’t put words in my mouth. And yes my analysis was not completed in my initial comments. It’s Tumblr fucking replies, I can’t fit the entire fucking dissertation of Tsumugi opinions in there for you to jeer at in there. Again, I offered to share my opinions and got this as a response, so lol. You are your own worst enemy when it comes to trying to get people to take you and your theories seriously. 

Paragraph 4: Especially since you immediately jump to PULLING THINGS OUT OF YOUR ASS (seriously, fucking snorted at this part. I want this whole diatribe on my fucking gravestone. It’s by far the most hilariously petty thing ever said about me on this site.) instead of letting me explain my position. If you just want to be in the creepy cult Oumatwin echo chamber you should’ve just said and blocked me ASAP instead of word salading vague bullshit justifications for why actually people who disagree with you are just stupid crybabies who can never hope to understand your genius. Again, my initial comments didn’t whine about not being taken seriously at all, I was pointing out the hypocrisy/rudeness is all. And again, get off the high horse about critical thinking. I have thought about Tsumugi’s character and how she relates to the over-arching plot and how truthful it is, and the overall ‘mystery’ of V3 (spoiler: there is none. it was all solved by chapter 6). I have thought about this game. In fact I dedicate too much time to critical analysis of this series that doesn’t actually deserve it cuz lately I find Kodaka to be a hack writer. Your assumptions are flat-out wrong, dear. And AGAIN. I WOULD’VE. SHARED AND DISCUSSED IN MORE DETAIL HAD I BEEN GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY. But rude fucks gonna vomit shit out of their mouth cuz they have literally no self-control and have meltdowns at the slightest difference of opinion, I guess. 

Your extreme hatred for Tsumugi as a character truly shines through. Clearly no thought has been put into her from your end, even though you and Jacks rage about people not taking Ouma seriously as a character. Double standards as always with fujos. Nothing I’m not used too, she is incredibly unpopular in this fandom. And everyone is entitled to their own opinions. So I’m not even mad at that. I have never said otherwise. Even you and Jacks are valid in having your own theories and thoughts. The ending of V3 is designed entirely so everyone can analyze the game for themselves and draw their own conclusions about the story and themes. That’s the whole point. Even though I personally dislike that as a writing decision on Kodaka’s part because I would prefer the story to be conclusively ended and the epilogue is a giant turd that misses the entire point of Chapter 6 and enables shit (anal pun intended, dumbass) like this to start spreading as “Analysis”. But hey, to each their own.

However I will not be interacting with either of you again after this post though, even though I was willing to discuss beforehand, because you both have shown yourselves to be incredibly vile with the way you approach other people in this fandom, and especially those who don’t share your conspiracy theory. Despite the absolutely ironic comments I’ve seen from Oumanous in their later, also terrible posts about how you need to understand your opponent before engaging, which they literally failed entirely to do before engaging the firing squad at me and other commentators who responded. So much for the sanctity of discussion, huh? Enjoy your circlejerk. Everyone else who follows me in this fandom though? Please consider blocking these two if you are also a sane human being who is capable of polite discussion/disagreements. They are not worth your time otherwise. They were really not worth my time writing this post, but I felt I had to say something.

In conclusion: Out with the both of you.

[mailorderfictionalcharacter]

a list of semi coherent thoughts I’ve had about mcu wanda maximoff

0.5 this post is open to discourse. if u are unwilling to see viewpoints that are pro wanda or anti wanda this is not the post 4 u.

1. wanda runs off of very powerful emotions and that’s an a + character trait. her rage fueled grief and power is just fascinating to watch.

2. ew whitewashing why do you do this to me mcu. stop. enough.

3. yeah it’s kind of ridiculous to kill the ex-ceo of a weapons company that killed your parents as compared to whoever fired the missiles or whoever ordered said military action but it’s not that ridiculous if you apply the barest modicum of generous interpretation to it.

Tony Stark was emblematic of the very destructive American ideal of we’re great and right and coming with guns. Going off of IM2, even as he was doing great things (”I’ve successfully privatized world peace”) his performance was still very um American (”no one’s man enough to go [against me]”). Like as audience members we get it but I could see how that sort of look-at-me attitude would not ring like redemption to someone in that much emotional pain. Like, you could easily read their actions as being about attacking every American/foreign influence figure head, which is sort of supported by the fact that the twins wanted the avengers down not just Tony Stark.

If the weapons were illegally sold there’s no guarantee the twins knew that Tony wasn’t responsible. It’s possible Tony leaked the truth about Obadiah after the “I Am Iron Man” press conference, but the original plan was a SHIELD coverup.

I’m not inclined to conflate profiting of our wrongs or moral ambiguities on the same moral level as instigating wrongs, but it’s also up in the air whether or not Stark Industries cared about collateral damage in the design of their weapons and that’s something the twins could legitimately blame them for. IM1 canon is a mixed bag - we have intellicrops (concern for philanthropy) but we also have, y’know the Jericho (the weapon that levels mountains)

(read more under the cut)

tl;dr: wanda is a fascinating flawed character who suffers from writing problems but she’s also wearing the name of a jewish/romani woman even though marvel studios is too much of a coward to translate that to film & i’m perpetually bitter and indecisive about everything.

4. the twins had enormous social factors encouraging them to hate the avengers/america. even american media was questioning the avengers; shield had fell; people were putting up anti avengers graffiti

5. considering the twins spent their formative years in a country at war and lost their parents I’m assuming they went through quite a few economic hardships.

6. what sort of access did the twins have to media or education?

7. I’m not inclined to blame the twins for their desire to get revenge but it is worth noting that they seemed to have very little concern for collateral damage even though the only thing we as an audience knows for certain is that the whole reason they’re seeking revenge is because of collateral damage.

8. there’s a gap of 8-12 years between the death of their parents and their attack on the avengers. no matter what mitigating circumstances there were (and I think there were a lot) that’s a premeditated crime

9. there’s a lot of parallels between wanda maximoff and kira nerys except the writers on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine actually cared about Kira Nerys.

10. both of Wanda’s major fuck ups (willingly unleashing the Hulk on Johannesburg and failing to protect everyone in Lagos) happened in African countries. I believe in some suspension of belief for superhero movies but I’m not sure it’s entirely appropriate to be like hey! look at Wanda! the whitewashed character who fucks things up in African countries! such girl power! great anti-imperialism message!

(I mean, the same disregard applies to all the avengers though. I’m pretty sure the safest interpretation of Lagos is “the avengers could have done better by not fighting in proximity with a bunch of civilians” which is on Steve. And unless I fever dreamed this Steve tosses his cowl at the feet of anti-avengers graffiti in the beginning of aou and there is nothing appropriate about that).

11. Wanda was introduced in AOU, a movie with sub par dialogue and tbh I have a feeling Whedon et.al never thought through the implications of Johannesburg bc he just wanted a convenient way to introduce a hulkbuster fight.

12. tbh I really want a scarlet witch movie to fix all of this but I also really want a recast and I know I won’t get either (fanon wanda is the best because we can fix all of this with a hammer).

13. CA:CW seemed to draw on a lot of Wanda’s comic history (specifically in the oppression metaphors) but since it followed the clusterfuck that was AOU I can’t exactly give them a standing ovation for that.

14. ca:cw did a very bad job following through wanda’s plot threads from aou. tbh I’m not even team we need to stretch Wanda’s redemption arc further but idk, it might be nice if she mentioned her dead brother or tied the Lagos incident/Sokovia accords to, idk, her past living in a war zone.

15. ca:cw could’ve given me wanda wryly commenting on how luxurious the compound was compared to sokovia but instead it gave the should-be-jewish character a cross in her bedroom and fuck that marvel why don’t you just stake me through the heart so I don’t have to deal with your bullshit

16. I wish wanda in the airport scene was more about her desire to do good (go stop the supersoldiers) than the awkward oppression metaphor

17. although push come to shove I would’ve focused on poverty/american foreign intervention over calling the powers she volunteered for the source of her oppression the whole raft scene does demonstrate that people whose powers (or even training) cannot be separated like say Sam and the Falcon or Tony and the suits face a special criminal justice risk.

but this isn’t really relevant to the accords, which are not the SHRA and honestly the same ethical problem of how to incarcerate enhanced people exists whether or not someone is acting as a superhero (is it ethical to put a psychic murderer in solitary confinement if that’s the only way to prevent them from using their powers to escape or assault guards?)

18. according to beta canon/film subtext wanda & pietro did not willingly sign up to work with hydra. Just good to remember.

19. I will forever be attached to the idea of wanda liking Vision’s company because he is both practically invulnerable (not going to get shot 7 times on a floating city) and emotionally dependent on her support (just like Pietro). (this is not implying twincest btw)

20. I think wanda’s house arrest in ca:cw is not completely unreasonable (she’s probably awaiting investigation & is at risk of being hurt/hurting others from mob violence) but definitely steve (and probably natasha & sam) should be under house arrest as well. but they aren’t, and I think it’s fair to say that in universe that’s xenophobia/anti-immigrant sentiment. why be afraid of the american icon when you can be afraid of the poor sokovian woman?

21. antis make way too much of the whole “she’s just a kid line”. like steve was responding to tony calling her, a human being, a weapon of mass destruction. like, he was just trying to humanize her and calling the youngest person in a group a kid even when they’re an adult isn’t that strange.

22. in lagos wanda was trying so damn hard to stop that bomb and yes she didn’t manage it but blaming her instead of steve? uh gross.

23. how much experience does she have? yes tony stark throwing himself into superheroics worked out surprisingly well but superheroes need training

24. I insist marvel release a 22 page dissertation on wanda’s mind powers but also if I don’t like it I’ll call it not canon. (my initial theory was that she produces ptsd symptoms - even if the person normally doesn’t suffer from ptsd - but something in the confidence that she can manipulate tony before entering his mind makes me think she has slight suggestive abilities beyond fear and also thor’s vision arguably followed a different vein)

25. antis like to argue that the maximoffs only turned on ultron because it benefited them but let’s be clear the maximoffs fought ultron because they thought he was wrong and wanted to personally help. they could’ve just tipped off the avengers and left or left ultron to do whatever ultron was going to do and only fought him if he directly came after them okay the twins had options and they chose the most altruistic option.

26. ppl who say wanda isn’t really whitewashed because marvel’s decades of retcons have whitewashed her at past points are pretty much using a two-wrongs argumentative fallacy.