#this isn't me fishing for feedback or consolation

[misanthropologymajor]

buggin' out (pt. 1)

plagas!leon x partner!fem!reader

You've known Leon for a long while—since his unlucky first day in Raccoon City. What the hell was up with him on this mission to save the president's daughter?

warnings: parasitic infections, descriptive violence, slow burn, anxious reader because my anxiety is so ingrained that I can't write someone who isn't anxious every second of every day, ignoring the treasure hunting aspect of the game because it is a little silly outside of the context of a video game, one use of y/n, lots of euphemisms for killing, awkwardly written combat, crossposted on ao3

part two -

feedback is appreciated :)

wc: 2.4k

"Roost, this is Condor Two. Condor One is totally out. We're in a boat and he's totally unconscious."

"Condor Two, what do you mean? Why are you in a boat?"

"It's so much-- there was a big fish monster, and we had to take him out so we could get to the area left on this one map to get the key to the church, but we killed the big guy, and Leon coughed up some blood and just collapsed. I'm taking us to shore, where we're less exposed." Leon thrashes in his sleep as you ramble, splashing some lake water on him.

"Condor Two, calm down, shelter him a bit, and update me when he wakes up. Roost out."

Pulling into the pier, you stop the boat. "Leon, you really are a bit of a damsel in distress." You pull him out, brushing his hair off of his forehead. He stirs just a bit, letting out a small groan.

Within twenty minutes, you manage to coax him into the nearest shed. You rifle through your waist pouch, leaving him with a small water bottle and a damp cloth on the nape of his neck. "Leon, I'm going to get you some medicinal herbs. Please wake up soon." Leon’s chest gently rises and falls. You brush his hair out of his eyes again before you leave.

You clamber up towards the Merchant's set up in the cave. "Excuse me? Do you have anything that can help my friend? Something's happened to him on the water; he's unconscious."

"Well, Stranger-- it may be best to let 'im wake up on 'is own. Never know what causes things 'round here-" you move to interrupt. "But, ‘f you must try somethin', try these herbs. Yellow an' red, if you will."

You hand him a few thousand pesetas and return down to Leon. After mixing them into his water, you coax him into taking a few sips. He groans, and you settle on the dirt beside him, cradling his head in your lap. "You've got to wake up, Leon. Ashley needs you, we have to save her."

After an hour of Leon's unconsciousness, you leave him in his shelter, obscured by an improvised curtain, and set off to get the key to the church. You sail the boat to the small boathouse and set through the path, pausing to fight three male villagers, two of which have their heads explode to reveal a bladed tentacle. Oh, joy.

Once you enter the cave, you find a large plinth between two narrower, notched pedestals, holding what seems to be the key to the church entrance. In the next room, a large map on the wall indicates the cave you're in and one across the lake.

Going through the cave leads to a new boat, which you take to check on Leon. In his shed, he's more responsive to your gentle probing, but he's still nowhere near conscious. 

"Leon, I'm going to get the first part of the key. I'll be back as soon as I can." You return to your boat and approach the smaller cave across the lake. The ride is uncomfortable without Leon’s quiet breathing or snarky mumblings. 

Arriving in the cave reveals a small building with an eight-buttoned console to the left of a relatively large door. Following a bit of multi-story investigation, you find the correct buttons for the entrance, revealing the detachable head and a few treasures in the room. You return to Leon, who is nearly awake.

"Condor Two, it's been almost two hours since you called in. Are you any closer to Baby Eagle?" Hunnigan’s voice crackles through your earpiece as you consider your next course of action. 

"While Condor One has been napping, I went to get one half of the way to unlock the key to the church. We'll get the other half once Condor One is back in action."

"Good to hear, Condor Two. Have Condor One call in once he's awake. Roost out."

It took another twenty minutes for Leon to fully wake up and adjust to his surroundings. Wrestling himself up by his elbows, sat with his back along the wall. "What the hell happened?"

"I was hoping you'd have the answer to that. We took down that big fish, and then you coughed up blood like you were in a period drama before passing out. Don't tell me you have tuberculosis."

"Definitely not. I think it may have to do with this cult; I saw a cloaked figure talking about a sacrificial body." 

"Don’t be so quick to rule out TB, Leon. Last year, an estimated eight million- Wait, fuck, that big priest said, 'Your blood or whatever accepted the gift.'"

"Oh, he worded it exactly like that. Wait, why do you know so much about tuberculosis?" You lightly smack the back of his head before filling him in on the work you'd done while he was asleep. His eyes crinkled as he looked up. He gestured for you to help him up off of the ground.

"One, we have to head to get the second part for the key to the church. Two, Leon, we literally work against biological terrorism, and I wouldn’t put it past Umbrella’s people to work out how to use TB. Are you good to go, or should I leave you here? Either way, call in to Hunnigan."

"I'm fine. Saving the president's daughter is all that matters."

"Leon, saving her doesn't matter much if you go down again and she gets taken… again.''

He ignores you. "Roost, this is Condor One. I'm up and at it, Condor Two is freaking out over nothing." 

"Condor One, you were radio silent for three hours. I think that Condor Two may be right to worry."

As he updates Hunnigan, you walk over and start up the boat. The retrieved stone head looks up at him as he enters the boat. “I take it we’re looking for another one of these bad boys?”

You nod an affirmation and take the boat to the dock indicated on the map. At the dock, you try the grated metal door to the right. "Locked. Looks like we have to go the long way."

"Let's get to it."

"Oh, by the way-- our friends sometimes pop big stabby tentacles out of where their heads are now. They don't like bright light. Just be ready."

"What the fuck?"

"Let's go, Kennedy."

Leon shoots a little wildly when the first Ganado you face grows into a bladed tentacle. Eventually, the head bursts, revealing another few enemies. You take them down as you head deeper into the cave section. Leon climbs up a ladder as you finish clearing the bottom level. You can hear him in combat up on the ledge. "They just keep coming!"

You finish down below and take the far ladder up to the ledge. Leon shoots his last opponent and jogs over to you. "This is the same console as the other cave. Let's look for symbols."

After finding the three symbols, you input them to unlock the door. You let Leon discover the bloody surprise under the stone head and eventually make your way back to the initial cave with the church key.

Putting each head on the pedestals unlocks the circular church key. Leon takes it and tucks it into his briefcase before leading you back to the Merchant's grotto. "Ashley's waiting for us; let's get going."

You head up the stairs towards the quarry. As you both step in, the gate slams behind you. A red figure atop the highest cliff gestures towards the gate across the quarry. The gate quakes, and the blockade begins to fragment.

"I'm not sure I'm a big fan of that comically large hammer anymore." You begin to load your rifle and aim it towards the gate.

The gate slammed open. It reveals a massive, lumpy humanoid. "Woah! Goddamn, you're a big boy!" Leon uses his handgun to fire a round of 3 burst shots at the giant. The giant seems unphased by the shots, and you take the opportunity to fire your shotgun at his back. He's marginally more impacted by this, which distracts him enough for Leon to begin to move away from the path of rampage.

Leon switches to small grenades and discovers another weak point on the giant's back. A small white figure pops out from the giant's upper back. 

A wolf howls at the top of the cliff. Leon points up to the top. "Hey! It's that dog again!" The giant looks frantically towards the moving wolf. After jumping down to the quarry, the wolf bites at the ankles of the giant.

You and Leon focus your shots on the smaller white figure, eventually leading to the giant falling low enough to attack the little white guy with your knife. After a few seconds, the giant moves to stand back up.

After another few rotations of knocking the big guy down and hacking at the little white head, the giant goes down. Leon stares down at it. "Damn. We were almost pancakes."

The wolf bounds off into the night, and you and Leon continue back toward the church. "Those bastards better not have moved Baby Eagle on us. I think I might lose it if we do much else without confirmation that she's okay." You adjust your side holster and reload each of your weapons.

"Let's not give them the chance." Leon opened the gate to the churchyard and slotted the key into the door. The door opens to a fairly basic chapel, with a jumbled stained glass in the center of the altar.

"Ashley Graham? Are you here?" You and Leon search for any location that could hide a full human being. "Leon, there's a blue knob in this cupboard."

"There's a gate over there, There's blue in the stained glass and a handle on the wall. Let's try this."

Leon fiddles with settings on the revealed console, pulling the gate above the doorway.

You walk through the doorway, checking for hidden combatants before climbing the ladder. You approach the door, indicating for Leon to open it.

"Ashley, Ashley Graham? Are you in here?" A figure swung at Leon with a candelabra.

"Just let me go!" A blonde girl in an orange blazer and a green plaid miniskirt swung again at Leon with the candelabra.

Leon caught it and threw it to the floor. "Easy with that. My name is Leon, this is (y/n). We're here on the president's orders." Ashley looked between the two of you before running between you out of the room. "That went well." Leon walked out of the storage room.

"Leon, you could have led with 'I'm not a bug man.' Yet, I guess." You stumble over the discarded candelabra momentarily before catching your footing.

"Because you were such a big help there?" Leon jogged to reach Ashley. "Hey, it's dangerous outside. You need to listen to me-"

Ashley interrupted him. "What is that? Over there."

You followed her eyeline. "That looks like more villagers. We need to be ready..." You trailed off as Leon and Ashley both grabbed their temples and groaned in pain. "Guys? What's wrong?" As they opened their eyes, you maneuvered Ashley to face you, pulling a penlight from your waist to check her pupils. You looked between her fairly normal pupils and the quickly approaching mob. "Kennedy, what happened?"

Leon and Ashley press along the gaps between windows to your right as you slide to put Ashley between you and Leon. Leon addresses you around Ashley. "Not good; let’s be ready."

Ashley looks between the two of you. "What do we do?"

Leon leans slightly toward her. "Your father trusts us, and I need you to trust us, too." Following a noise downstairs, you and Leon motion for Ashley to stay back as you look down at the villagers coming in.

You all crouch down as you move towards the left, passing Ashley's smashed phone. "Seriously? I just bought this."

You notice the sticker indicating Sigma Gamma Phi. "When we get out, we'll get you a new one. Let's get you back to your sisters first."

You reach a dead end and spot for Ashley as she climbs atop Leon's back to get the ladder down. You climb up the ladder, and Leon follows you. The only option is a window, which Leon and you hop through to the next ledge. Leon persuades Ashley to jump as you descend the ladder to the ground. 

A fallen bookcase blocks your path. Leon's voice crackles through your earpiece as you begin to clear the route. "Roost. We've secured Baby Eagle." You leverage your arms and thighs to move it back into the correct spot, as Hunnigan replies.

"Copy that. Is she okay?"

"Affirmative." Leon and Ashley approach your path.

" Well done, Condors. I'll dispatch a chopper ASAP. I'm sending you the coordinates for the extraction point. Make your way there. And don't let anything happen to Baby Eagle. Hurry, the weather is getting worse. Roost out."

You walk to the front courtyard with your gun drawn. "Ashley, stick close to one of us unless we tell you otherwise. Be loud if you need help." Ashley tucks herself behind you. As you finish speaking, an old woman with a pitchfork turns towards your little crew. You take three shots before her head is replaced with a tentacle. Leon fires twice more before that, too, explodes.

The sounds of her death summon another three villagers. Leon moves to create an artificial bottleneck of access to Ashley. Those villagers go down with only one more tentacle as four more enter the courtyard. You narrowly pull Ashley out of the path of a charging pitchfork.

When those four are taken care of, you leave Ashley with Leon to explore the cemetery. As you finish dealing with the visible, another gets close enough to grapple you. You yell in surprise as you fish for your combat knife, and Leon runs toward you. Ashley stumbles behind him.

Before Leon can get halfway down to you, you wrench yourself from his grasp and stab at his attempts to grab you again. You dispatch him with finality as you turn toward Leon and Ashley. "That could have gone better. Nice to meet you, Ashley."

"Oh! Nice to meet you too, I guess. Wish the circumstances were better."

“Don’t we all?" You pat her shoulder comfortingly before walking ahead.

[a-soft-fluffy-girl]

Let's talk about Nintendo Labo.

I've seen some folks denouncing it as Nintendo pandering to their kiddie demographic. I've seen some folks simply go "it's not for me" and ignore the rest of the conversation or simply drop off from it afterwards. I've seen some folks actually complain about it, saying they should be focusing on games instead of little toys for little kids that look shoddily made.

Nintendo Labo is, as stated and cited by some people, for kids and kids at heart. It's meant not to be some sort of easy to grasp, hard to master puzzle game. It isn't some challenging game meant to test all of your reflexes and punish mistakes harshly. This isn't Dark Souls or Bayonetta or one of the many ports people seem to be highly critical of (which, considering not as many people bought a Wii U compared to a Wii and Switch, makes a lot of sense to bolster the library).

This is what some people are ignoring it for: an interactive toy. Something that the Switch has a very unique advantage over the other consoles with. See, there are three reasons this is probably one of the most creatively incredible things I think I've ever seen a video game manufacturing and distribution company has ever done.

The first is the most obvious: to a child and an adult who never lost that sense of creative imagination and wonder, this looks like so much fun. It appears to be a hybrid of multiple ideas all in two separate packages that can land you hours of personal or familial playtime that no other game console on the market can ever even hope to achieve. This is like playing pretend with doll houses and action figures. Trying to mimic your parents when they drive or go fishing and you're too young to personally handle those objects. It opens up so much imaginative playtime to those people that love to tinker and build LEGOs or DIY cardboard box toys. Each item looks well put together and well thought out, and can bring those childhood fantasies to life or even teach kids new skills!

Following this, the second, probably main reason this is such a gloriously good idea is that it shows exactly what the Switch is capable of in a way no one thought was really possible. This is the most creatively implemented console exclusive I have ever seen. Not only are they using the Switch's docking capability, the dockable controllers and the HD Rumble feature they touted as the next big innovation as an actually innovative design point, but the infrared camera can even be used to see how the cardboard item it's slipped into is reacting, allowing one to play real music on a false, toy piano! Not even the Wii, with its groundbreaking physical playability, or the Kinect, using it's cameras in innovative and playful camera-based VR antics, can come close to the physical feedback and actual malleability of this kind of product. This gives people toys that you have total control over, be it how it functions or even how it looks.

And finally, the most important part about this: it's price point and the business ripples this could make. If you do a quick search into what just announcing this product at a $69.99/$79.99 USD price point has done for the Nintendo brand's stocks, you'll see that this is already a success. A boon not seen since the Wii has struck Nintendo in the face with just how beautifully creative this is, and considering how many toys nowadays cost (LEGO products can range from $30-$150, as can brands like Nerf and some toy robotics), this is far from a case of the accessories making this an unaffordable option to some, meaning this can easily be a hit for many households that own a Switch. And considering how big of a stock explosion this caused, I'm going to sit back and wait to see what kind of interesting things the other companies like Sony and Microsoft follow up with, if at all.

After all, this is such a left-field Nintendo move that one can't help but wonder if it's just too unique to copy. And too good to even try to compete with. Time will tell. But I know what I'm getting in April, that's for sure.