#this seems to be the only non-religious thing she's written! :o

[britishchick09]

'stand tall: a story of robert wadlow' aka the mysterious book i discovered in june has been found on ebay! :D

[attheexactlyrighttimeandplace]

Anyone else excited by the place the show has made for the women so far?

The writers managed to create for almost each species, conflicts in which one woman dominates her community through her leadership skills (Galadriel, Tar Miriel) or her strong will (so strong that they seized the power and break the traditions under extraordinaire circumstances in the case of Bronwyn and Nori).

It used to be true for Galadriel who had as a commandant a high military status during centuries before falling from grace, it's ambiguously true for Miriel who must share the influence with Pharazôn to keep the peace in Nùmenor, it's spectacularly real for Bronwyn who showed an extraordinaire courage by killing an orc and who convinced entire villages to follow her to Ostirith, it's painfully true for Nori who forcibly included a complete stranger, a tall man to her small nomadic and peaceful community of gatherers, breaking an almost sacred rule and making her family pay a high price for it.

It's also so freeing to watch in a such big production main female characters who are not defined first and firemost by their romantic potentiel.

Miriel and Galadriel are single (even if Halbrand and Elendil are presented as potential love interests for Galadriel, though these subplots are written in such a soft and restrained style, that it requires attention to notice the signs), and they have been introduced with no discussion or commentary inside the plot about their marriage prospects or their child desire; Bronwyn is a single mother and the independent head of her family; Eärien has won her place in the Builder's Guild and has been wanting a career long before meeting Kemen; Nori is enjoying her free life and traveling all around Middle Earth; and Disa, mother of two children and the only wife of the lot is the most non conformist model. She challenges all the norms of feminity established by the more popular characters in term of skin color, weight and height and yet looks fabulous, all while she takes care of her family and helps her husband in his work.

They are not only modern heroines, they are also complex heroines: i'm still impressed that writers dared to make at times Galadriel so rude and bossy, Nori so frustrating and naive, Miriel so indecisive, that they have not been afraid to separate Eärien from her family because of her unpopular (in the fandom) anti elves positions.

Considering the conservatism and even religious traditionalism in Tolkien's work (things he wrote when was older and which were a censorship of his more "progressive" earlier writing), the writers have done in my opinion a really solid job at actualizing his work in regard to the current ethical standards, without breaking the unity of the universe he created.

If it was only about filling the quotas for diversity, the writers would have stopped at this point with their large main cast of wonderful femal characters, but they decided to add two more groups:

The women in white that appeared to be studying the crater where The stranger crashed. I loved everything about their appearance: from their outfits that gave a religious (as in "high priestesses") and warrior vibe, to their confident attitude and the impression left that they belonged to the" magical" world of the Valar.

Whoever they are, i'm thrilled the most by the risk taken by the writers, who seem determined to shake things even more by adding new players to the game and that they picked more women for that. I'm not even sure at this stage that i want them to reveal their identity, i'm just satisfied that those women (spirits?) looked so powerful, cool and fierce and that they seemed to lead the hunt, be it for good or bad reasons.

The veiled Elves servants: they have been giving all its meaning to the idiom "hiding in plain sight" since episode 1. So silent that i could sometimes almost forget that they are present in every scene related to Lindon while performing their many tasks: messengers in episode 1 when one of them informed Elrond that he couldn't participate to the Council, assisting others elves in religious rituals on the elf ship that was taking Galadriel and the company she lead to Valinor, or domestic servants during the dinner with Durin. That's why i easily noticed and reacted during the post dinner scene between Gil Galad and Elrond, when they stopped and turned back to watch the two male elves accusing each other of lying. It was ethereal and i was almost expecting them to break their "vows" and make some commentaries like chorus do in the ancient greek tragedies. It seems to me it was filmed to look like a group move, and it's one of those details that make me want to know more about them collectively, (how they are hired, trained etc).

Not that i believe that they have any influence on the plot, but just because of the light they can shed on the elfic society and its hierarchy. I need to understand better the contrast between their position and the trajectory of Galadriel's career, especially in a community like Lindon which seem too wise to judge people based on their gender (though the family lineage and class seem to play a big part in the assignment of social roles). And this thirst came probably from the fact that Galadriel is the only woman elf developed so far (there was one fighting at her side during the discovery of Morgoth's lair in episode 1 and one other captured by the orcs of Adar in episode 3, but they weren't even named and the one in the Southlands died quickly during the failed escape).

It's not perfect but it's enough to say that a show written with this level of attention and care for its heroines, is a show that knows how to tell properly a story.

[normal-thoughts-official]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHDBpb/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCTwq/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHUxHb/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHDxww/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCtVm/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeHHCvo3/

She's hilarious but there's two videos where she starts to speak more mumblingly

ok first of all these are brilliant and i'm losing my mind and i love you, thank you for curating these to me.

i will transcribe them in a bit but i just felt the need to leave this "little" (it's long sorry) note:

as someone who's been raised catholic i just want to say that she is pretty wrong about almost everything she said about catholics, and i say that as someone who hates catholicism with my whole mind body and soul and who's been traumatized by this stupid fucking faith to the point where i can't get into a church without breaking into sobs dauihdasiuh. the catholic guilt is real but catholics are absolutely allowed to divorce and use contraceptives, and also have sex before marriage. the first one is met with some guilt esp from women altho honestly i think it's more due to mysoginist reasons than religious reasons, and the second and third ones are commonpractice and if you say that it's wrong and bad everyone will think you're a fucking weirdo

and even with the divorce thing, while the guilt is there (im pretty sure half the reason my mom doesn't divorce is because she would feel guilty about it, although again, i feel like that's got very little to do with religion and way more with internalized mysoginy), i cannot stress enough that divorce is allowed, almost everyone i know has divorced parents and they're all catholics. the church's official position is kinda weird (as of now pope francis basically said that it's "morally necessary" in some cases but he also referred to ppl who divorced and remarried as "imperfect", but like, it hasn't been forbidden for years, so much so that people get second marriages at catholic churches literally all the time, and i kinda feel like ppl overestimate how much ppl care about what the pope says. at least here in latam, cuz we've always kind of freestyled religion since it was imposed on us anyway, but like... in my experience the average catholic practitioner is INCREDIBLY less conservative than the vatican and i feel like most people don't even know what the pope says or doesn't say. and i'm saying that as someone whose grandfather almost became a priest and only gave that up because he fell in love with my grandmother, and he's been a ferverent catholic his entire life. also two of his kids divorced, one married a divorced woman, one is gay and living together without marriage with his divorced boyfriend, one never married, and one had two kids before marriage which necessarily means that they fucked, and none of that was ever a problem to him. oh, also, my dad had divorced AND he was a buddhist when him and my mom married. currently he is a spiritist)

i think it might be possible that u technically have to ask for "permission" to the church to remarry in church, but in practice i think it's more of a ritualistic thing than actually asking for permission, cuz i've never met a single person who had them say no. it was pretty much "hey local bishop guy so my husband sucked and we divorced can i marry again" "sure lol". obviously it sucks that you even have to ask, but it's nowhere near as strict as people seem to think

the contraceptive thing is also absurd. like i cannot stress enough that my family would absolutely flip if they found out i DIDN'T use contraception. that was always something that my family reinforced very strongly, ESPECIALLY my grandpa. i've never met a single catholic who does not teach their kids to use contraceptives. my high school was catholic (literally named the Holy Cross, fun times, although they didn't impose the faith or anything. in fact almost half of the students in that school are jewish, but like, still, there was a priest in the school board) and we were taught to use contraceptives, put the condom in a banana and the whole pizzazz during biology class

like yeah the bible says not to but it also says not to mix different fabrics and that doesn't mean it's actually a thing that's reinforced in most catholic communities doaihdaj at least not here in latam. in here non-catholic christians are actually way more hardcore about the puritanism rules than catholics are, particularly evangelicals, which are kind of overtaken the catholics' traditional role of being colonialist fuckers as they are mostly from the US so they come to further US imperialism through religion here. watch out catholic church they're coming for ur crown

and even outside of puritanism, "non practicing catholics" are absolutely a thing like ppl who are catholic but don't even pray or go to church, much less care about that shit douahdsaohj so like the stereotype that all catholics are like the very small minority of hardcore catholics is like the stereotype that every muslim lives by the ultra-conservative muslim rules. it's not true and it's stereotypical and taking the minority ultra conservatives to be the rule when they are not

there's also the fact that there are many different currents of thought inside the catholic church (a little bit like with judaism although way less flexible than judaism is), some of which are very conservative, some of which are progressive. here in latam in particular the teology of liberation is extremely popular (it's the one my family subscribes to, and i'm pretty sure it was actually born here in latam) and it's pretty progressive. for catholics, that is

and like mandatory disclaimer that i am coming from my own experiences with latam catholicism, which i feel is different from other catholic countries - my polish friends for example have experiences with catholicism that are a lot closer to those stereotypes than mine ever were - but since most of the catholic population in the world is brazilian (like me), and second place goes to mexicans, i feel pretty comfortable taking it as a ruler to measure general catholic practices

with that being said, however, the catholic church can choke and die in a fire as it is a symbol of colonialism first and foremost, its proselitism is one of the worst things ever, and even the progressive currents are still way too damn conservative for my tastes. i just don't feel comfortable transcribing something that i know is incorrect and stereotypical (and that in some cases is used to further oppression like with the Irish in the UK or armenian catholics, and i've even had some US-diaspora latinos hear some incredible things from gringos who assumed they were catholic, or, in their beautiful words, "had latino religion". but obviously in most cases catholics are the oppressors, especially here in the third world)

also, her assessment in the third video is absolutely correct. A/B/O IS just conservative gender roles born of christian and catholic imposition transposed to a fictional world where the genders have slightly different names, which is why i, as a rule, hate it dauhdsaiuhdauhda and even though the assessment that catholicism is thaaat much more conservative than other christian religions (it's absolutely not, it's Exactly As Conservative) isn't true, catholicism is still where most if not all of western conservative rethoric is born of, and ugh, it's so refreshing to see someone understand this and put it into words so well

so yeah keep that note in mind but anyway, transcriptions:

[Video transcription #1: in reply to a tiktok question, which says, "now i'm thinking about the catholic guilt that would come with it oh my god". user @Omarsbigsister is saying, "good morning", she then covers her mouth as she starts to laugh, before continuing, "I guess I'm the religious omegaverse tiktoker now. I did not know catholic guilt was more than just sex, I thought it was just about sex, but nO. people who are catholic, if you don't know, they get guilt over every little thing, they get guilty when they eat, they have guilt when, like... [dismissive gesture] they have fun... it's messed up *cut* [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] in which you HAVE to be bonded before... *sticks tongue out* *cut* and catholics, from what i know, uhm, cannot get divorced, so you can't be unbonded, you're stuck for life with that alpha or omega, and then you can't use contraceptives so if you have a heat or rut, good luck, you cannot escape it, and on top of that, they preach abstinence, right, so if you're having a heat or rut in your teen years you just gotta deal with it alone like you are not allowed to be bonded, so, that would be really intense."

#2: in response to a question, which said, "follow up question: if in the real world hijabis are women, in ABO universe would hijabis be omegas of all genders?". the user is shown stroking her chin in contemplative silence for a long time, before she says, "actually, both men and women have to wear a hijab, it's just more visible on women, but men also have to cover from like, the neck all the way down... so like when you see them [mumbling i don't understand, sorry] that's their hijab. *cut* Islam is actually treating men and women, like, fairly somewhat equally, so, I feel like in omegaverse alphas, betas, and omegas would all be held to the same standards, and alphas and omegas would also be held by the same standards but then culture would ruin it, just like western culture has ruined it. for your other question. 'would muslim families prefer betas more, and would betas be spiritual leaders', i feel like everyone prefers betas more, but then also Islam came to like, uplift women [a written note then shows up, which says, "like girls are seen as a blessing to have as kids"], so like omegas would be seen as like, a blessing to have as a child.

#3: in response to another tiktok question, which says, "fun fact bestie you cannot get divorced in the catholic religion even if your spouse is abusive and horrible to you so in omegaverse how would that work?". she replies, "the reason that Abrahamic religions seemingly fit so well into the omegaverse universe is because catholicism specifically and christianity, uhm, all the gender norms and all the cultural norms especially in the west came from catholicism and christianity, they were forced on people, and then you know, people might not be religious, but the norms stay. but now you have omegaverse which is basically just a bunch of like youth exploring the youth through this, like, werewolf fanfiction trope, using all these gender roles that you have in society on their head, so, really, what i'm saying, is that... omegaverse is just catholicism fanfiction"

#4: she looks at the camera and says, "getting islamophobic comments is one thing, but getting islamophobic comments that say that muslims cannot be in the omegaverse".... she then breaks into laughter for a solid 30 seconds

#5: she is shown reading out loud, in a mock-outraged face, a tweet that says, "about to murder tiktok they try to make Ramadan a 'quirky' trend. it's a religious holiday. stop it, get some help. /srsly /g.", then a follow-up tweet, which says, "saw a tweet saying on tiktok they are asking questions about how ramadan would work in omegaverse. i'm done with y'all, just say you disrespect muslims and go". then another tweet by a different user, which says, "i tried to read, i got secondhand embarrassment-" they then break out of character and say, "oh, that's fair," before going back, "if it wasn't ramadan i'd be boxing those people right now. those people should be ashamed to even think that way wtf". then another, which replies, "well i'm not celebrating it, so as a non-muslim, i'll happily box them". then, back to her normal voice, she says, "i really was just making a silly little tiktok and seeing that stuff really hurts... i'm just kidding, i can't keep a straight face. you like minecraft youtubers, what are you gonna do to me? what are you gonna do to me?"

#6: in reply to a tiktok ask, which said, "prince philip was an omega". she slowly films herself as she takes a walk, finds the nearest trash bin, and tosses the phone there, before putting the lid over the box. end ID]

[yoimeta]

Hi everyone! I noticed recently that the "KAZAKHSTAN 101 OR HOW TO OTABEK" post seems to have been taken off of tumblr? The author's whole blog seems to have been wiped. Do you know if this is archived anywhere? Is there a mirror, say, on Ao3?

Hello!

Thankfully, I managed to find what I believe is the original post. Here it is! The post is archived in plain text under the cut.

Hope this helps!

- Ji

Source: @sawyer-aik

KAZAKHSTAN 101 OR HOW TO OTABEK

THERE YOU GO YURI ON ICE FANDOM.

Disclaimer: this is in no way a fully comprehensive guide. This is just me trying to put together basics for people who are unfamiliar with Kazakhstan/Kazakhs to start their writing/research.

I am an ethnic Kazakh female, citizen of Kazakhstan, Almaty, bisexual, upper middle class, currently in college in the US. My experience is in no way representative of all kazakhs and Kazakhstan citizens. However, I think it’s pretty close to Otabek’s.

This is really, really long and kinda convoluted, but if you can bear it –– welcome!

Name: Many people have talked about Otabek’s name. This is how you shorten it –– “Bek”, “Beka”, or “Beks” if you wanna be really familiar and laid back.

Kazakhs don’t have middle names, we have patronymics. They are formed like this: the father’s name + ‘uly’ if the child is a boy or ‘kyzy’ is the child is a girl. For example, Otabek’s childrens’ patronymics would be Otabekuly and Otabekkyzy.

About Almaty and almatinians: Ok I’m so happy Otabek is from Almaty, I really don’t know much about life in other cities or rural areas. Almatinians rarely do. Comparing Almaty lifestyle to the rest of Kazakhstan is the same as comparing NYC to the rest of America –– it’s not representative of the quality of life in the country, like, at all.

Almaty has 2.5+ million population, and it grows every year. It’s a cultural and economic centre of the country. Apples originate from Almaty (!!!), hence the name from “Alma” –– apple. Almatinians are usually stereotyped as fast, brash and snobby –– kinda like New Yorkers, right? Almaty is much more tolerant and progressive, and also more ‘Western’ than the rest of the country in terms of mindset. Almatinians kinda look down on non-Almatinians, and really dislike the capital Astana because of all the funding and attention it gets.

Almaty has a great ethnic diversity –– main groups are Kazakhs, Russians, Uygur, Koreans, Germans, Jews, Uzbek, and many more. Though stereotypical jokes are generally acceptable, outright hate and discrimination against an ethnic group is not tolerated. Many foreigners visit here for business –– mostly Americans, Western Europeans and Chinese.

Almatinians love: coffeeshops, mall sales, cool cars (Hello Otabek’s motorcycle), smoking hukkah and vaping. They are usually concerned with status and try to show off their wealth. You can see people of all kind of different style and background in Almaty, fashion shows are held there, contemporary art and indie-music congregates there, along with all kinds of fancy ass crowd. It is a really interesting and kinda exhausting scene, especially if you are young and wanna have fun.

Language, culture, food, etc.

As an Almatinian Kazakh, Otabek is definitely fluent in both Russian and Kazakh, and probably has a very good grasp on English. He is a master of shala kazakh. Shala kazakh is a magic language that only city Kazakhs are privy to. It’s basically a wild mix of kazakh, russian and some fashionable english slang thrown in there. It’s usual for me to start a conversation with “OMG bro” and then kinda pull my speech together, substituting kazakh and russian words with each other and pepper it with “cool”, “ok” and other english exclamations. It’s not grammatically correct and is kinda lowbrow, but we all do it. Yes, even our parents. This is how Otabek sounds when he is talking to someone from home. Terrifying.

Nuclear family: City Kazakhs usually have two or three kids. That’s less than people have in rural areas. Children are important in Kazakh culture because they carry the family’s bloodline and history, especially boys. If you headcanon Otabek as having brothers and sisters, you are probably right! His family should be at least sort of wealthy to afford all the expenses of having a professional athlete for a child. Otabek has an expensive bike and his clothes look high-end –– he is definitely not poor.

Family in general. Kazakhs are close, VERY CLOSE to their family. Mind you, family is not just parents and siblings but also your grandparents, aunts and uncles and like all 173 cousins and nieces and nephews. Everyone is ridiculously involved in your life, always there with advice and complaints. You stay connected to your parents when you move out, when you get married, when you have kids, when you DIE. When Otabek misses the weekly skype dates or check-in phone calls, HE IS SHAMED SO HARD. Do you know grandma is worried about you, think about how old she is! Otabek’s relatives brag about his achievements like they moved him up the career ladder personally, with their own two hands. There’s nothing Otabek can really do about it tho he gets annoyed

Food: city Kazakhs have a very diverse cuisine. Traditional kazakh food is like 50% batter and 50% meat and takes long ass time to prepare so we reserve it for the holidays. My family loves fish, russian dishes such as borsht and blini, Uzbek lagman, Korean kimchi tho we try to avoid pork. And it’s not like we choose one day as a “Russian cuisine day”, we just kinda??? Deside to have some borsht today?? Almaty has lots of different restaurants, almatinians love sushi, pizza and pasta, shashlyk, all kinds of experimental foods and trying new things. Kumys –– mare’s milk –– is one of the things you should try in Kazakhstan as a turist, but I know many kazakhs who have never had it or don’t like it. They say it’s really good for you tho.

Holidays: ethnic Kazakhs in Kazakhstan celebrate: birthdays, New Years, Eid al-Adha which we call Kurban Bairam, Independence Day on December 16th and Nauryz on March 22nd. Young people kinda have get togethers on Halloween because it’s fun and a reason to hang out. Nauryz is one of my faves, it’s a pagan holiday of coming of spring and new life. On Nauryz, Almaty is adorned with flowers, yurts and giant swings are set on the city square, people wear traditional clothing and dance and play and eat a lot. My family also ended up celebrating Eastern Orthdox Christmas and Easter because each year our Russian friends invite us to hang out and celebrate with them, lol.

LGBTQIA+

Main principle is “Don’t ask, don’t tell”. General conflict avoidance protocols are in place. I personally know like 3 LGBT friendly hubs/clubs in Almaty. Nobody explicitly says “gay clubs” but people just kinda know what and where those are. There are get togethers and meetings you can attend to meet people, you can hang out with your significant other in public, hug, hold hands and no one would probably say anything. Colleges and universities are generally safe places, many of my friends are out in their college and don’t face any trouble. PDA will be frowned upon, but all PDA is generally frowned upon in Kazakhstan, even hetero. Feminist and sex-positive initiatives try to educate the populace and break the status quo, and are doing really well but the government’s disposition is homophobic. If your family is religious or traditional, they probably wouldn’t go as far as disowning you, but will probably pressure and guilt-trip you. LGBT+ youth generally plan to move somewhere else or just not settle. All of this is Almaty situation tho. Being LGBT in rural area is much more dangerous.

THE BEST PART: VOCABULARY

Ok this is what I find to be the easiest way to explain Kazakh to English speakers: think Turkish but written in cyrillic, with words borrowed from Arabic and Russian.

Endearments:

zhanym, жаным: my soul. Zhanym is everything to a Kazakh. You can use it for your family, friends, SO, I called my laptop zhanym today. It can be flirty, it can be serious. If you need Otabek to be affectionate with someone, use zhanym.

ainalaiyn, айналайын: really hard to translate but something like my precious?? Usually used towards small kids, but also if a Kazakh finds something really cute.

altynym, my golden baby. I love this one for obvious reasons, lol, hi, Otabek.

Mahabbatym, махаббатым, my love +

Suiktim, сүйіктім. my love, my dear. Kinda old fashioned but really romantic. I can see Otabek using this, but he will be teased and called an old sap if he does.

Kazakh have a lot more endearments, but most of them are for children.

Basic interaction and exclamations:

Iya. Ия. Yes.

Zhok. Жоқ. No

Rakhmet. Рахмет. Thank you.

Keshir. Кешір. Sorry.

Salem, Сәлем. Hello. A familiar greeting.

Sau bol, Сау бол. Literally “Be well” but actually means goodbye. Pretty familiar too.

O Kudai, О Құдай/O Allah, О Алла! Oh my god, obviously. Used in all kinds of different situations.

Oibai, Ойбай! How does one explain oibai. When a friend jump scares you, when you receive bad news, when you check your bank account –– oibai!

Abai bol, Абай бол. Be careful, is what your mom tells you when you go out.

Expletives and Swear Words. Yeeaaah the juicy stuff.

Zhyndy, Жынды. Crazy. If someone is being stupid or inappropriate, you call them zhyndy. When you tell a dumb joke at the familty table, mom smacks you upside the head and hisses “Ooooi, zhyndy!” When Jean-Jaques is acting a fool and makes out with his reflection, Otabek rolls his eyes and mutters “Zhyndy”.

Akymak. Ақымақ. Idiot. When someone is just dumb and not worth your time.

Ittin balasy. Иттің баласы. Child of a dog. It can be as harmless as “you pup” and as offensive as “son of a bitch” depending on the situation.

Kotindy kys. Көтіңді қыс. Squeeze you ass. God I love this one. When someone being an obnoxious wannabe, tell them they should squeeze their ass and check themselves.

Jean-Jaques: I am gonna be the King of the Grand Prix!

Otabek: Kotindy kys.

Shygasyn ba?! Шығасың ба?! You wanna go bro?! Ohh, someone is gonna catch these Kazakh fists.

Sigil. Сігіл. Basically go fuck yourself.

Sheshen ahmy/Sheshen sigem. Шешең амы/Шешең сігем. Your mother’s c*nt/Imma fuck your mother. REALLY FUCKING OFFENSIVE. Say this to a Kazakh if you have a death wish.

——————————————————————————————-

AND THEEEEEEERE YOU GO.

Again, this is just the basics. Do more research and talk to as many Kazakhs and Kazakhstani people as you can. We are a different but usually an interesting bunch. Thanks for your attention, Sawyer out!

[a-cai-jpg]

I feel like this is to assure myself and no one else.

It has recently come to my attention that real people actually read this blog. 

That sounds a little stupid, given that I religiously advertise it on both Snapchat and Instagram, but there was a part of me that assumed it would fly over the heads of most (see: all) people. And it's inherently contradictory, but I did not think a Real Person would take time out of their lives to read my utterly irrelevant musings.

I am terribly grateful to my friends and then some for deeming me important enough to click into this site. I am thankful for their validation when they don't just do it silently, lurking amidst the sans serif. One quoted my own words back at me in ALL CAPS, another sent me a video zooming in on my disgruntled face on the sidebar, and more mention it casually in passing conversation, jolting me into the reality that yes, this is A Thing.

But as I laid in bed and typed up the post two days ago, I'm suddenly reminded of why I rarely made my writing public.

I sound like an ungrateful little shit, and I'm truly happy whenever someone mentions The Thing (i just don't like the word blog), and I want to share The Thing with the world because it's a little scary thinking about how all your time and effort and words and emotion could be lost somewhere in the void, like an unread letter that's wandered off the post-trail, but.

Writing digs into the most vulnerable flesh of your heart and mind. I recently saw a quote, "We are writers, my love. We don't cry, We bleed on paper." And there are variations of this quote from others: "I don't think all writers are sad. I think it's the other way around: all sad people write;" "I didn't write it down to build a poem. I wrote it down because that is what I do with the things that unravel me. I drag them across a page."

I don't mean for this to take a maudlin turn, but writing is a salve for aches in the soul. I'm by no means a writer, but I like to think I write (s/o to my soulmate, jackson wang, who said, "i'm not a rapper...i just rap). And sometimes, sharing what I've "dragged across the page" is turning my skin inside out.

I'm definitely more comfortable with sharing my vulnerability through words on a sheet of paper (or words on a WordPad document) than through words spoken to another Real Person. 

In my junior year of high school, I sat in a hotel room in Sacramento with words stuck behind my clenched teeth. It was the most peculiar feeling, like if I loosened my jaw, I would vomit the words from my chest and they would tumble off the bedsheets and onto the floor, staining the hotel carpet. But the tension never snapped, and I scrawled them onto a torn sheet of paper instead.

Even now, I express the deepest parts of my emotions through letters. I think a large part of it is because I don't want to see the emotions unfold on someone's face. It's not that I don't want to see them, but I don't think I--this emotionally constipated individual--am capable of responding to them in a way that's not, "Uh. Yeah. Okay. Lol bye." And I feel like that's just not appropriate or sufficient in some circumstances. Better to just avoid the potentially awkward situation.

(yes this is not the most mature way to deal with emotions but spare me the lecture.)

And so, when I am writing, and not saying words at someone's face, I pull out the most intimate intricacies of my heart and twist them into phrases and sentences. And I like to do it without a filter.

But when I was writing these past few days, I was conscious of an audience. I began crafting sentences through the lens of what would this specific person think of this and oh my god what if this person reads this and fuck it ok just kidding we can't just fuck it sos. It was a dangerous balance between editing and re-editing and declaring, "Fuck the world, I write for me, and I'm going to write recklessly and with abandon."

This the main crux of the problem: there is me, the person that you know and talk to and maybe have grown up with, and then there is me, the person who spits words out onto The Thing. And sometimes the two me's mesh perfectly like a pattern overlaid on another to produce an image, and sometimes they don't. 

It's kind of like when you go clubbing with a childhood friend for the first time, and you've only known them as the youth group-going, favorite child of all Asian parents, and then y'all are in the club and damn okay they just took seven shots in a row. 

(I'm not speaking from personal experience.)

There is a moment of reckoning when you try to reconcile two facets of a person.

(Or maybe this is a me problem, but bear with me here.)

A few months ago, I took a trip with two of my closest friends to San Diego, to visit the college town where one of them spent four incredibly formative years. It was fun and beautiful and very, very disorienting, because in my egocentric point of view, I had forgotten that we lived these four years separately. Suddenly, he was introducing to me a different life, a different history that I wasn't part of, and I couldn't help but feel like I was sitting in the passenger seat of a stranger's car, listening to a crude imitation of a familiar playlist.

The feeling began somewhere on the 5 freeway, when he navigated the unfamiliar lanes with a practiced ease, and swelled as the sun set and he told stories about Mount Soledad and him and his friends.

And it was weird, because I felt like an intruder, even though I had been invited into his memories, and the unease took shape as silence and stilted words until he asked, "Are you okay? You seem weird." And the feeling was spilling onto the back of my hands as I gripped the skirt of my dress, but I couldn't beat it into words, so I unclenched my fists and fastened my seatbelt and choked out a, "Nah, I'm just tired."

I think I'm still in the process of working through this reckoning. It doesn't happen for all of my friends, and it's not always so discomforting. Sometimes, I scroll through Instagram pages with a sort of curious hunger to fill the years I’ve missed, and other times, I take the new information, file it as: Yeah okay, I could've predicted that. But then, there are the times where I can only search someone's face in silence, lump in my throat as I rewind our histories and try to find where one of them snagged and became out of sync.

The different facets of the self should, all in all, unveil the most authentic self. The more you get to know a person, the more you really know a person. I imagine it like you're building a three-dimensional sculpture, and with each new piece of information, you add another bit of plaster to it. Yet, I sometimes lose sight of what I'm trying to build, and when I see the blueprint again, I realize I've veered wildly off course. It's scary, every time I run into a moment like this, because it's like the person I knew, the friend I've had for a decade, was actually just someone I created in my mind, a person who overlapped at the edges with the Real Person, but ultimately, were not the same. And when the illusion disappears, I'm left with a stranger.

I'm exaggerating, but.

I'm a little scared this is what you will feel as you read this. I'm scared there will be no separation between the writer and the writing, and although writing reveals the deepest, most intimate parts of a person, is it really the authentic self? It's only a slice, a slice I had cut with carefully chosen words.

So I want to assure you, if you are someone like me who thinks they view the world on a wide-angle lens but really, only through a slit, and you are someone like me who reels when the cover is yanked away and you're left staggering through the new vista, that every sentence is a part of me, but who you know and who you talk to and who you message is a larger piece of me. And maybe we will never get to know each other fully, because that kind of privilege is saved for but a few, that doesn't make either of us any less authentic.

I sometimes wonder what character development looks like in the real world. When I was a sophomore in high school, I cringed so hard when my favorite English teacher tried to use my essay as an example in class that he almost immediately pulled it out from underneath the Elmo projector and used someone else's. In freshman year of college, I wanted to join a creative writing club, but after realizing that I wouldn't be able to submit my work for peer-editing anonymously, I banished that notion. Yet, for some reason, in my senior year, I decided I wanted to take a fiction writing course. On the day of my first workshop, my hands shook so much that I had to sit on them to stop trembling.

In the beginning of the class, I, myself, had a very difficult time separating the writing from the writer. I think especially in an intro class, students use facets of their own life to create fiction. I think even advanced writers do the same, because ultimately everything you write is you. And I did my fair share of speculation--why did she write about a sibling rivalry does she have a sister, hey did this guy study abroad in hong kong with you because he wrote about that, and huh i wonder if she grew up in florida this is beautiful.

It's the kind of speculation we do with the Greats. Did Shakespeare write Hamlet for his son, Hamnet? Who was Sonnet 18 written for? Was Shakespeare gay? Because see, in this one bit, he wrote.....

(i was a very bored AP lit student ok)

It's the same kind of speculation my friend did when she finished listening to a new song by Crush and said, "Oh, he must be dating." Or the speculation all the YouTube comments had when Jon Cozart and Dodie Clark released duo songs titled "Tourist: A Love Song from Paris" and "a non love song from nashville." It's the kind of speculation you do when you are given a slice of someone's soul, and suddenly, you want to understand the whole thing.

But that kind of scrutiny is uncomfortable. We're okay with doing it to Shakespeare, because the dude's dead. We're okay with doing it to big name artists because hello, Crush is not going to hear my friend talking about him. We're less okay with doing it in the public realm of YouTube comments because they are read by the content creators who explicitly said, "pls don't speculate." We are even less okay with doing it to our peers, and we are not okay with other people doing it to us. Okay, maybe I should just speak for myself.

My trajectory in that fiction writing class was backward. My first story was about a white male living in New Jersey. My last story was about a Chinese American woman who used to live in the suburbs of Los Angeles.

It wasn't planned.

It's as if my subconsciousness drew up barriers the minute I stepped into that classroom, and wrote a story as far removed from who I am as possible. 

Because really, who is going to think that the gas jockey with a hunger for divine power is me?

(sike.)

But I guess character development is becoming okay with vulnerability and with potential speculation, and as I wrote, I began writing closer and closer to the heart, pulling the words from the east coast to the west.

When the last workshop rolled around, I was calm, sitting at one of those awful, plasticky chairs with tiny, useless desks attached to one arm. I was neither defensive nor uncomfortable, like I thought I would be, just at peace and humbled as I listened to my classmates discuss the craft of my writing.

And I think that's the ultimate lesson: once you write something, or create something, and release out into the wild, it no longer belongs to you. It's an argument I used to make in my art history class, but it's an argument that John Green often makes when his readers ask him about the meaning behind his books.

I don't quite mean it like he does, when he says, "Books belong to their readers." I think that before the writing is consumed by the reader, it is its own entity, existing independently of both writers and readers. And when it is eventually taken up by the reader, the writer shouldn't feel a sense of possessiveness or vulnerability or fear about the content.

And shit, that really fucks up my other thing about trees falling in forests but anyways.

There are a load of other things I have to consider when suddenly, the dumb spools of thoughts in my brain become free content for the Internet. Like, privacy rights? Am I allowed to talk about this one thing my unnamed friend said, but wait, you can definitely tell who it is, oh fuuuuuu-. At what point is it oversharing? Do I get to decide the line between okay and TMI, or does me declaring that I am writing this for myself mean there is no line?

But, in the end, I just want to say thank you.

I’m really used to, as I’m sure many people are, presenting just one facet of my whole self to people. Every individual has a number of different roles, and each role comes with its own set of rules and norms. The sociological part of me says that this discomfort I’m feeling has a lot to do with the breaking down of norms. There is a certain playbook people go by when they lower their barriers, but this circumvents that.

And honestly, maybe I’m just thinking too much into it and all of this is for naught, but it was cathartic writing this all out, even if I had to take two very lengthy breaks to get my thoughts in order.

(just kidding, one of them was to watch Kingdom season 1).

There are so many things I am grateful for, and I fear that in the past week, I have been battling bad vibes and have forgotten how incredibly privileged I am.

So, here is List 16 of The 52 List Project (that my friend made me start legit in 2016 and I'm still on list 17)

List 16: List your Essentials 1. Family & Friends ✔ 2. Affirmation & Love ✔ 3. Achievement ✔ 4. Happiness ✔ 5. Hope & Dreams ✔ 6. Phone ✔ 7. ID/Card holder ✔ 8. Plush blankets ✔ 9. Stuffed animals ✔ (so many!) 10. Inspiration from a boy on skates ✔ (see: hope & legacy) 11. Good music ✔ (i gotchu fam, here's ur r&b fix) 12. Good books ✔ (go check out a book)  13. Good conversations ✔ 14. Thoughts ✔ 15. Creativity ✔ 16. Music ✔ 17. Possibilities ✔

[thesffcorner]

An Alchemy of Masques and Mirrors

An Alchemy of Masques and Mirrors is an adult fantasy written by Curtis Craddock. It follows Isabella, the eldest daughter to Comte des Zephyrs, who is born without her sorcery. Growing up in a world that treats her as either a demon or an object, she only has one friend; Musketeer Jean-Claude. When she gets betrothed to a prince from a neighboring Kingdom, she sees this as an opportunity to have a new life; though a web of assassinations and conspiracies may threaten this future. I had a real hard time getting into this book, and even as I was reading it and was fully intrigued by the plot, I had this sense of dread that the book will go in a direction I would not like, or the ending would make me very mad. I’m happy to report my fears were for naught, and I ended up really enjoying this book. There were definitely elements and plot points that annoyed me, but the plot and characters were strong enough for me to enjoy my my time in this world. So let’s start with what I think will be the biggest draw and the biggest deterrent from reading this book. 

Writing: The best way I can describe Craddock’s style is a mix between The Three Musketeers and Nevernight. The world-building and the plot focused on political conspiracy, marriages and royal bloodlines, as well as just the aesthetics of the book were straight of both Dummas’ work but also the much maligned 2011 film. The way this plot and world are conveyed however (as well as a lot of the magic system and religious aspects of the book) reminded me a lot of Jay Kristoff’s writing. Craddock has a style that I can only describe as overly-specific, overly-descriptive, and quaint; he uses very specific nouns for everything, from the clothes, to the different parts of the flying ships the characters move around on. And when I say specific I don’t just mean dictionary, I mean specific to the time period this is based on, which is 1600 France. It took me so long to parse out what title Comte and Comtessa and Le Roy are equivalent to, who all these different bloodlines and families were, and the fact that all the names of families, characters, cities, ships and castles were French didn’t help one bit. To give you an example, here is just a sentence from Chapter 1. ”All around him, deckhands scurried about, tugging on lines, adjusting sails in a madman’s dance, choreographed to the boatswain cry”pg. 9 And another from a bit later: ”Jerome stood on the rolling deck as if nailed to it, not a hair of his white, powdered wig out of place. He jerked his chin toward the bow and said, “We’re coming in widdershins on the trailing edge”, as if that clarified the matter. “If we don’t overshoot and ram the tower, we should make harbor within the hour”” pg. 11 This, again, comes down to personal preference. If you like this style of writing, and you don’t mind spending the first few chapters kind of confused and just coasting until you pick up on the world and the language, you will certainly find this enjoyable. By chapter 5, I was well caught up in the writing style, and really enjoyed how much personality Craddock managed to inject in the chapters, based on whether we were following Jean-Claude or Isabelle. It also made the world feel that much more well-rounded and real, since at no point did the characters stop and exposit for 3 pages about how things worked. However, if you struggle with this type of writing and world-building you will not have a fun time, because in addition to having to adjust to all the French terms and period words, you also have to contend with all the stuff that’s purely fiction to this world, like otomations, aether, artifex, and sanguinare, to name a few. I won’t lie and say I wasn’t confused; but I liked the plot and the characters enough to keep reading. World-Building: I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this in any review, but I’m a huge fan of The Three Musketeers. I’ve seen almost all the versions outside the BBC show, and I’ve read the books; they were the first classic I was ever really in love with as a kid. I also love flying ships that look like Caravels, so this world was perfect for me. San Augustus was a fascinating world; it’s a floating island that is held in the sky by magic which is never explained (which isn’t a bad thing). Since it’s floating in the air, people travel on this massive ships like the ones it Treasure Planet, which run on aether, a substance that seems to be the equivalent of whale-oil in the Dishonored games. I know I’m mentioning a lot of visual media, but it always helps me visualize the world, and there was more that reminded me of Dishonored, like the otomations which I imagined were like the Clockwork soldiers and the blend between technology and magic of the world. Where Nevernight comes into play was the fact that this world too is built on the ruins of an ancient civilization of Gods, which is where a lot of the technology, and magic comes from. The people who live in San Agustus today know very little about the Saints that inhabited the world before them, and though they use some of their technology, most of the artifacts and knowledge are collected by the Temple, the religious order of the world. The magic system was another thing that reminded me of Nevernight, and it was very cool. Saint Augustus is ruled by descendants of the Saints, who lived at the same time as the Builder. Each Saint controlled a different type of magic (now categorized by the Temple). Isabelle’s family, the Des Zephyrs are sanguinaires: they have bloodshadows that they use to feast on other humans. They can also hollow out a human and turn them into a bloodhollow, which they can possess to communicate with people or spy on them. The ruling family of Aragoth, the family Isabelle is to marry are glasswalkers, which I found the coolest powers. They can cast their reflection through mirrors and walk in the real world in various locations. Their mirror image is limited by hunger and thirst, and they see everything in reverse, but the mechanics of the power and the creative use it’s put to in the novel were really fun to read about. As for the religion… it was an interesting choice. I had some gripes with it. It’s clearly based on the Old Testament; a woman who was close to the Builder was curious to find out how his inventions worked, and tried to learn math which somehow awoke a demon which destroyed the Builder and all the Saints. Supposedly, in a time of great turmoil and violence, the Builder will be reborn and will resurrect the worthy in a Judgement Day type scenario. Seeing as the basis of the religion is profoundly sexist and even misogynistic, in this world women are not allowed to learn the sciences or the old language, and in some cases even reading is seen as heresy. The one thing they especially can’t do is learn math or astrology, which is precisely what our lead Isabelle really loves and studies. Moreover, women in this world seem to be seen as just walking wombs. They are sold into marriages, and being able to give birth is their only function. I couldn’t tell if this was a thing of the nobles, since we do see working women that are not aristocrats, but there are very few non-noble characters in the book. But rest assured, the society is profoundly sexist one part that made my stomach churn, was a bit where 12 year old Isabelle tells us she carries around a maiden blade, which she isn’t to use to ward off attackers, but to kill herself rather than risk being raped and bring shame upon her family. This was so incredibly unsettling, I even looked it up to see if it was a real historical thing, and apparently it is not. Even if it was, why would you write it in your FICTIONAL book? I will be fair and say that most of the sexist and misogynistic structure of the world is not meant to be seen as a good thing; the characters do lament the state of affairs, the ones we are meant to find likable disagree with seeing women as broodmares and prizes (for the most part; there are quite a few moments where Isabelle defaults to being owned by her father or being owned by her husband which was also Yikes). Craddock does try to show that the sympathetic men do see Isabelle as a person more than a womb with legs (though again, most of them with the exception of Gran Leon think she either needs protecting or want to sleep with her), and he does make sure all the female characters we get, even the villains have agency that is not tied to the men around them. I also have to give him props for having actual female friendships and having characters who are usually either background or written as shallow and vain, have a voice, like the servants, the handmaidens, the ladies in waiting, etc. However. When it comes to male authors, I am always wary of WHY they feel the need to write the world as horribly sexist in the first place. It’s not an oppression they can claim, and everytime I see it in fiction, even if it’s done with the intent to subvert it or question it, I feel squeamish reading it, and don’t trust them to handle it well. Even if the point is to make a point about sexism or misogyny, that doesn’t mean I want to endure 300+ pages of women being treated horribly, assaulted, kidnapped, silenced or otherwise harmed for the benefit of 100 pages of gratification. I have grown jaded of these kinds of stories, and though I really did like the world, and all it’s steampunk musketeer glory, and all the political intrigue, this was not something I could overlook. Everytime I would have fun, I would be reminded that this society sees women as just their womb, that they are completely indispensable and disposable. And I would stop having fun, and start dreading that the next page would have a rape scene or unwanted pregnancy, especially seeing as the main theme of this book is pregnancy. I didn’t trust Craddock as a writer because he chose to set this story the way he did, and while I will admit that was fully my own fault as a reader, I think it’s worth pointing out that we have to endure enough mistreatment in the real world, and I don’t necessarily want it into our fiction, even if it’s made clear that the author disagrees with it. Themes and Plot: The world-building leads me to my next point which is the plot. I’ll start with the bad first and then move onto the more positive stuff. I mentioned at the start, that this book centers on an arranged marriage between Isabelle and Prince Julio of the neighboring Kingdom of Aragoth. The King of Aragoth is sick and dying, and his eldest son, the heir, Prince Alejandro, is refusing to divorce his wife Princess Xaviera or take in a mistress, despite her not being able to bear children. Margarita, the King’s second wife wants her son, Julio to take the throne, and to leverage his eligibility, she wants him to marry and have a child. As all marriages are arranged through the Temple, an artifix, Kantelvar is sent to arrange the one between Isabelle and Julio. What I want to focus on is the theme or pregnancy, childbirth and being infertile. First off, I find it incredibly icky whenever male authors chose to write about women’s abilities to have children or even worse, their inability to have children. It always, always boils down to the character either being told or thinking herself that she’s some kind of monster for not being able to conceive. I HATE this trope, and unfortunately it’s present here. All we ever really know about Xaviera is that she can’t have kids. We know Alejandro loves her, and we know she can apparently wield a sword and pistol (not that we ever see it), but as a character she is simply reduced to her infertile womb. There is even a scene, which was profoundly ill conceived, (no matter how pure the intentions were) where Isabelle tells Xaviera she understands what it’s like to have your entire personhood being boiled down to your disability (Isabelle has a wormfinger). It’s a nice sentiment, except not being able to have children is NOT a disability, and the experiences are nowhere near SIMILAR, let alone the same. Yes, it’s horrible to feel like your body is betraying you, or working against you if you want to have kids and can’t. I can’t imagine what it must be like to have to go through something like that, ESPECIALLY if you live in a society where that is what your entire worth as a human is boiled down to. But this is not a story for a man to tell, especially not if you want to focus so heavily on how other people think Xaviera is worthless, and not XAVIERA, the person who is seen as worthless and who actually has to experience this pain! There is never a scene in which Craddock dissuades the readers from thinking that it’s COMPLETELY unfair and sexist that Xaviera’s competence at being a Queen is negated because she can’t have kids; instead we focus on Alejandro and how he’s just such a good guy because he loves his wife so much that he won’t cheat on her or divorce her. Xaviera deserves a better story than being sidelined to be a foil to Isabelle’s working womb, and I absolutely hate this storyline, even more after we get a reveal that makes Xaviera;s infertility completely moot. Then, there’s also the whole thing with Isabelle’s mother having 3 miscarriages before she gives birth to Isabelle and dying while giving birth to her brother. Her character is mostly comedic relief, and though she may have been a vain, bad person, treating her miscarriages as some sort of divine punishment is incredibly offensive in a book that’s otherwise genuinely funny and clever about it’s writing. Isabelle’s entire birth scene left such a poor taste in my mouth, that I contemplated DNFing the book; it’s played mostly for laughs, with the Comtessa struggling to push Isabelle out, and yet Craddock wrote it the artifax giving a sermon about how the pain women experience in childbirth is the punishment from the Builder for destroying his Kingdom with their curiosity. Not only is this verbatim something religious fundamentals use to torment women with to this day, it’s so incredibly tone deaf and ill-placed in this supposedly lighthearted scene, that I was ready to quit. Then there’s Isabelle. There is a LOT to unpack with her, but unfortunately I can’t, without spoiling the whole book. What I can talk about is how she is treated as, again, a walking womb, for the whole first half of the book. She is arranged to marry Julio because she’s off saint’s blood, has a fertile womb and can’t do magic. It has nothing to do with her intelligence, or her skills or even her damn beauty; no it’s because her womb works and Julio needs a baby. And literary no one, not Jean-Claude, not Isabelle, not even Julio is opposed to this idea, at least until we find out the real reasons for the marriage. She is literary boiled down to her womb, and treated like a prized racing horse, and she is the LEAD CHARACTER. Again, this is not necessarily supposed to be viewed as good, but that’s only after we find out why the marriage was orchestrated. Up until then, no one questions this, and I cannot describe to you how uncomfortable it was for me to read all the 10 000 times people care about Isabelle’s womb more than her, encourage and downright blackmail her into sleeping with a complete stranger so that he can Euron style put-a-baby-in-her, and everytime someone calls her breeding stock or broodmare. That felt good to get off my chest. Let’s talk some positives. My favorite part of the The Three Musketeers is the bit about the Comtessa having her diamonds stolen, and the King asking her to wear them at the ball, and the Musketeers having to go make a new set and bring it in time for the ball. This plot is that same rush of tension and political maneuvering mixed with humor, except the conspiracy is so complicated, there would be no way I could describe it to you all without spoilers. What I can talk about is how through very different approaches and skill sets, Jean-Claude and Isabelle figure out what is happening parallel to each-other. Jean-Claude is like a Musketeer version of Hercule Poirot. He is incredibly good at improvising and acting, he has a way of getting people to talk to him and reveal information they don’t want to, he knows how to lie, fight, shoot, run and has a bit of a temper. While with Isabelle we learn more of the mechanics of the plot, with Jean-Claude we learn about the people involved in the conspiracy, and their various motives. I really enjoyed Jean-Claude’s detective skills; also since he’s the Musketeer, he gets the brunt of the action scenes which were all very fun. Isabelle on the other hand, is more like Sherlock Holmes. She’s good with words and people, but not the Jean-Claude’s effect, and she’s more than a little socially awkward and insecure, especially at first. What she’s good at is logic, facts and math, and she uses her analytical skills to deduce answers and see irregularities and inconsistencies around her. Though a lot of her skills are ones that she’s not supposed to have, like being able to read the Old Language, or know about how ships run and machines operate, her real skill is the ability to appeal to people and what they want, and she has a real knack for diplomacy that I really enjoyed watching develop throughout the book. The entire focus of the book, and Isabelle’s character arc is about soft power; she isn’t a sword fighter or a gunsmith, but she’s very intelligent, kind and clever, and combined with her deduction skills and wordplay, she makes a formidable political player. There is a reason Gran Leon picks her to be an ambassador, even if it’s with hidden intentions; she sees the loopholes in others’ plans and weaves her own, manipulating people when she must, and offering a branch of friendship when she can. I already mentioned the scene between her and Xaviera, but there are many more examples in the book of her making unlikely friends without even really trying to; my favorite scene was her duel of wits with Gran Leon. 

Characters:

Outside of the plot which was excellent and incredibly clever, I loved the characters. There are so many of them, that I couldn’t possibly cover them all, and a lot I can’t talk about because of spoilers, so I’ll just talk about the leading duo, which is Isabelle and Jean-Claude.  

Jean-Claude was my favorite person in this whole book. He was exactly what I imagined Aramis to be like; funny, sarcastic, too clever for his own good, very capable, and yet quite flawed. His father-daughter relationship with Isabelle was heartwarming, though I didn’t much care for how he saw her as someone who constantly needed protection, until she was to be handed off to another man to protect. He sees her as capable, but I wasn’t a fan of how he seemed to never quite understand that she was more than just whatever man was beside her.

He had the funniest quips, and keeping in with the theme of wordplay I liked his little anaphore game with Isabelle.

The other great thing about Jean-Claude, was how his moral compass was at odds to his loyalty to Grand Leon. He owes everything to Grand Leon, as he had handpicked Jean-Claude to be his own Musketeer, but when he finds himself in situations of injustice, Jean-Claude has a hard time standing by, even if it means potentially endangering his standing. He’s a flawed character, and sometimes he was too arrogant or too blindsided to see the full picture, like with  Vincent and Thornscar, and he is like any good Musketeer quite fond of self-indulgent pity.

One of his best quotes:

”Majesty, please excuse me for bleeding in your presence, but someone just tried to shoot the princess’s coach and bomb me, which is rather backward of the way I would have done it, but I’m thankful for his incompetence” pg. 249

Isabelle on the other hand is a lot more subdued, which makes perfect sense, seeing all the things she has been through. She has had a very abusive childhood, with her father trying to force her sorcery to come out, as well as being bullied and shunned because of her wormfinger.

I tried looking up to see if wormfinger is a real thing, and I couldn’t find anything, but as best as I could understand it, it’s a hand deformity where the hand has a single, unresponsive finger. Since this society is incredibly focused on looks and sexual appeal for women, Isabelle is considered a freak and even a devil-child, which isolates her. However, what I really appreciated was that she accepts her disability as just another part of herself, not some kind of burden, and she is content with herself. The book also doesn’t focus on her appearance, other than general descriptions, (which was true for all of the characters, points for you Craddock).

Isabelle suffers from a lot of trauma, especially concerning her own voice and words, as something happens to her, which is a direct result of someone misconstruing her words to hurt her. However, she’s still if not happy, then content, and though she’s not the bravest character in the book, she pushes through regardless, and tries to meet all her obstacles and overcome them, no matter how daunting they look.

There is a very mild romance in the book, but it’s so insignificant to all that happens that I hesitate to even call it a subplot. I liked this too; most of the relationships Isabelle builds are with friends and allies and what motivates her is entirely her friendship to Marie. I loved that her strongest allies outside of Jean-Claude were always other women; Marie, Valery, Gretl, even Xaviera. Her friendship with Gretl was especially important, as she is the only character who treats Gretl as a  human rather than some kind of object and the disability representation for Gretl was I thought well done.

Conclusion:

Though I might have come off harsh on a lot of aspects of this book, it’s only because the parts that were good were great, and every time we took a detour from those parts into bad territory it was all the more jarring. It’s a really fun book, and if you are looking for a gunpowder fantasy with a world we don’t often see in fiction, a focus on diplomacy, politics and a kick-ass pair of leads, then I recommend it.

However, if talk of fertility, childbirth, miscarriage and the threat of sexual assault unsettle you you might want to stay away; as much as I’d like to separate the adventuring from this, these are the main themes of the book, and it’s impossible to ignore them.

goodreads

[savedfromsalvation]

Compiled by Jim Walker

Be Wise As Serpents

"Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves." (Matthew 10:16)

Comment

This verse instructs the apostles to act "wise as serpents." Since Christians hold that the serpent in the Bible represents Satan, one might wonder about this. In Genesis 3:1 the Bible describes the serpent as "more subtil than any beast..." Some early Gnostic heretics believed that Satan and Jesus were the same. They may have used sayings such as this to support their belief.

It seems odd that Jesus would resort to the metaphorical "sheep" instead of sheep-dogs or some other noble animal. The awkward fact remains: people raise sheep to either fleece them or kill them for food. To send them as prey in the midst of marauders hardly seems advisable.

Note also that doves actually act just the opposite of "harmless." Doves sometimes act viciously against other birds.

Beat That Slave

"And that servant, which knew his lord's will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes." (Luke 12:47)

Comment

Note, the word "servant" here means slave. The Biblical Jesus lived in a time when slavery flourished, yet He never spoke or fought against it.

"English North Americans embraced slavery because they were Christians, not in spite of it... It was Christianity that perverted the African's way of life. Not leaving them alone was the real tragedy." --Forrest G. Wood

Burn Them!

"Keep me, O LORD, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from the violent man; who have purposed to overthrow my goings." (Psalms 140:4)

"Let burning coals fall upon them: let them be cast into the fire; into deep pits, that they rise not up again." (Psalms 140:10)

Comment

Such wicked words can justify to the religious person any atrocity including holocausts. Ironically, the words "Keep me, O Lord, from the hands of the wicked" and which verse 10 calls for horrible acts against their enemies, hardly imparts a message of love of thine enemies.

Creation Contradiction, 1

"And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness. And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day." (Genesis 1: 3-5)

"And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also. And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth." (Genesis 1:16-17)

Comment

God creates day and night on the first day and then makes the stars and the two great lights (sun and moon) on the fourth day (Genesis 1:19). How can you have day and night on the first day without a star? This describes a dramatic contradiction to the way the actual universe works. To have a day you must have a rotating planet and a sun. Genesis proves that God (or more accurately, the authors of Genesis) could not have known about the structure of the universe, or even the difference between stars and planets.

Creation Contradiction, 2

"And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that is was good. And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness..." (Genesis 1:25-26)

"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air..." (Genesis 2:18-19)

Comment

In the first account, man gets created after the beasts, the second account has man created before the beasts . Only a person who exercised warped logic or blind faith could believe this outright contradiction. Yet to the fundamentalist reader, the many hundreds of contradictions and discrepancies in the Bible go by unseen, regardless of how many honest scholars and theologians have discovered otherwise.

In fact there occurs two stories of Genesis, the second story starts at Genesis 2:4. The first story uses Elohim (God in the plural form) and the second story uses the LORD God (Yahweh Elohim, sometimes incorrectly termed Jehovah). Both stories appear markedly different, yet somehow in history the stories got annexed together. This shows the allegorical intent of Genesis rather than a factual account.

Even the belief among non-fundamentalists, that the Bible has kept its original form despite minor changes, has led many theologians to think otherwise. One of the most highly respected theologians, Bruce Metzger, has written extensively on the errors in the Bible. For example, in his book "The text of the New Testament- Its Transmission, Corruption, and Restoration," Metzger asserts errors due to:

Errors arising from faulty eyesight

Errors arising from faulty hearing

Errors of the mind

Errors of judgment

Difficulties historical and geographical

Alterations from doctrinal considerations

Addition of miscellaneous details.

Many times whole belief systems and vast changes to a society can change from a simple mistranslation of a single word. (For example "virgin" got confused in Isaiah 7:14 for young woman "almah")

Creation Contradiction, 3

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them." (Genesis 1:27)

"And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man." (Genesis 2:21-22)

Comment

In the first account, God created a man and female simultaneously, in God's image. In the second account Adam gets created from the dust (Genesis 2:7), and then later, a woman came from one of Adam's ribs. Again, this shows another difference between the two Genesis story accounts, each contradicting the other.

There occurs a plethora of contradictions in the Bible, far too many for the scope of the Dark Bible. For those who wish further edification, consult "The Bible Handbook for Free-Thinkers and Inquiring Christians," edited by G. W. Foote and W. P. Ball (Pioneer Press, London)

Curse The Children

"And your children shall wander in the wilderness forty years, and bear your whoredoms, until your carcases be wasted in the wilderness. After the number of the days in which ye searched the land, even forty days, each day for a year, shall ye bear your iniquities, even forty years, and ye shall know my breach of promise." (Numbers 14:33-34)

Comment

This cruel curse on children attributed to God, for the sins of their parents, bears the typical harsh vengeful evil spirit that permeates the Old Testament.

How can one not conclude that these verses give the greatest insult to a loving God?

Eat Your Children

"And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters, which the LORD they God hath given thee, in the siege, and in the straightness, wherewith thine enemies shall distress thee:" (Deuteronomy 28:53)

"And toward her young one that cometh out from between her feet, and toward her children which she shall bear: for she shall eat them for want of all things secretly in the siege and straitness, wherewith thine enemy shall distress thee in thy gates." (Deuteronomy 28:57)

Comment

Here we have the horrific calling for cannibalism. It comes even more barbaric considering it calls for the devouring of their own sons and daughters.

Hardly anyone today accepts cannibalism, yet many fundamentalist Christians would have us believe that cannibalism or some other depravity will result if we choose not to believe in God or to choose another god.

(See also II Kings 6:28-29)

God Accepts Slavery

"And if the servant shall plainly say, I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out free: Then his master shall bring him unto the judges; he shall also bring him to the door, or unto the door post; and his master shall bore his ear through with an aul; and he shall serve him for ever." (Exodus 21:5-6)

Comment

The Bible bears witness to the fact that God accepts not only slavery but violence against such slaves (in this case a awl driven through the ear) for the innocent statement of love for their master, wife and children.

It came from precisely these verses that justified, in many peoples minds, the tortures inflicted on African slaves when they tried to leave their cruel masters in the American colonies. "Good" Christians of the day would drive nails and spikes through the ears of defenseless slaves whose only offense came from the will to no longer serve as slaves.

Not until after the Civil War did federal laws become enacted to protect African Americans from gross physical abuse. Even today, the KKK and "the Aryan Race" use the Bible as justification for their attacks against "Negroes."

God Condones Slavery

"Both thy bondmen, and thy bondmaids, which thou shalt have, shall be of the heathen that are round about you; of them shall ye buy bondmen and bondmaids." (Leviticus 25:44 , KJV)

"As for the male and female slaves whom you may have, it is from the nations around you that you may aquire male and female slaves." (Leviticus 25:44, NRSV)

Comment

The Biblical meaning rings clear: God not only condones slavery, but gives permission to buy and own slaves. The Southern United States fought The Civil War over such Scriptural teachings.

The Gods creation

"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth." (Genesis 1:1)

"And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness..." (Genesis 1:26) [Bold caps mind, Ed.]

Comment

The Bible has a crisis from the very beginning in that Biblical translators have chosen to use the word "God" for the Hebrew term 'Elohim.' The problem, here lies in the fact that Elohim represents the plural form of 'El.' Elohim literally means 'gods.' A more honest translation of Verse 1 should read, "In the beginning Gods created the heaven and the earth," and in Verse 26: "And the Gods said..."

The idea of Genesis and the Creation story did not come originally from the Hebrews, but rather from various cultures in the area. For example, excavations in Mesopotamia uncovered small cylinder seals depicting the creation stories. Of course these early people believed in many gods and goddesses, just as did the first Hebrews. The Enuma Elish, the Mesopotamian creation story which predates Genesis and which believers recited in every Mesopotamian temple every year for some 4000 years and more, parallels the Biblical stories to such an extent that it even makes abundant use of the "magical" number seven. [Romer, p.35-36]

Although as the Hebrew belief system grew, and the word Elohim came to mean the singular God, the fact still remains: The original meaning meant the plural form. Any honest translation of Elohim, therefore should reflect this plurality. In the name of honesty, we should ask why our Church fathers would allow the dishonest singular forms of the word God in the Bible.

Note, when anyone questioned this plurality, Christian priests tried to resolve this sticky problem by using the concept of the Trinity (Father, Son and the Holy Ghost) or the heavenly angels to explain the plurality. The problem here comes that if they truly believed this, then why not use the proper plural translation in the first place? Substituting a singular term for the plurality of the Trinity or other heavenly agents amounts to dishonesty or subterfuge.

God Orders Adultery

"This said the LORD, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun." (II Samuel 12:11)

Comment

Here describes God, not only condoning adultery, but literally causes it to happen!

Note also, the strange assertion that God raises up evil, supposedly an act reserved for Satan. In fact, nowhere does the Bible accuse Satan of raising evil. Little do most faithful realize that they worship a raiser and creator of evil (for God's creation of evil, see Isaiah 45:7).

God's OK On Abortion

"And when he hath made her drink the water, then it shall come to pass, that, if she be defiled, and have done trespass against her husband, that the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, and become bitter, and her belly shall swell, and her thigh shall rot: and the woman shall be a curse among her people. And if the woman be not defiled, but be clean; then she shall be free, and shall conceive seed." (Numbers 5:27-28)

Comment

This nonsensical ritual, prescribed by God, to a woman suspected of infidelity, must undergo the drinking of a vile concoction made of bitter water and dust from the floor of a tabernacle. A priest calls a curse upon the woman's head to insure that if she has acted in adultery the drinking of the liquid will cause her to have a miscarriage. If she comes out clean, then she shall conceive.

Regardless of how ridiculous this procedure seems, any person who believes every word of the Bible must come to terms with the realization that the quoted God here sometimes authorizes abortion.

(also see Num. 5:1-25)

Golden Rule

"And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise." (Luke 6:31)

Comment

From this verse we have the Jesus formulation: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Also known as the Golden Rule. This gives an example of perhaps the most admired and quoted saying by Jesus, not only from Christians, but from unbelievers alike.

Most people do not realize that Jesus did not originate this saying. K'ung-Tzu (also known as Confucius) also expressed a similar idea, ironically called the Silver Rule. However, does this seemingly worthy Golden Rule live up to its billing?

At first glance, the rule appears justified. Who wouldn't want to receive treatment the way we wish? And who wouldn't want to give the same treatment to others? However, upon further reflection we quickly come upon problems. Who says that the receiving person wishes to always get treated the way "we" wish? Would most people like to get treated like a masochist from a masochist? Would an atheist like to get treated like a Christian? Would a Christian like to get treated as an atheist? Clearly, the Golden rule can cause severe incompatibilities with the other person involved. The Golden Rule only seems commendable because we impart our own individual concepts without realizing that "doing unto others" has various meanings to other people. The Golden Rule reflects upon selfish motives instead of incorporating a system that can work for a diverse society. Therefore, when Jesus uses this incomplete and illusory command, he deceives the believer into a false sense of morality. Consider that in some cases, treating people the way they would like to get treated works better than the way you would like to get treated. Think about it.

Note: many studies of rule based systems (including ethics, game theory, and computer simulations) reveal two rules that always lose: the Golden Rule and the Iron Rule. The systems that work best involve Tit-For-Tat strategies that include many situational rules.

[For more information on game theories, refer to the works of Robert Axelrod (for example: 'The Evolution of Cooperation,' and 'The evolution of strategies in the iterated prisoner's dilemma') and Douglas R. Hofstadter's, Metamagical Themas)]

Happy To Kill Children

"Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones." (Psalms 137:9, KJV)

"How blessed will be the one who seizes and dashes your little ones Against the rock." (Psalms 137:9, New American Bible)

"Happy the man who shall seize and smash your little ones against the rock!" (Psalms 137:9, New American Bible)

"a blessing on anyone who seizes your babies and shatters them against a rock!" (Psalms 137:9, Jerusalem Bible)

Comment

Ask a Christian friend whether he or she should feel happy to dash a child against the rocks. Your friend will most likely stare at you in horror, much less believe this idea exists in their sacred Bible.

Many Churches have found this verse quite embarrassing. It gives no wonder why priests, Jews, and Christians alike, who quote from Psalms 137, always leave out this last verse.

(See also Isaiah 13:16; Hosea 13-16)

Hate Them!

"Surely thou will slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men. For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain. Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee? I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies." (Psalms 139:19-22)

Comment

A message of hate from the, supposed, inspired words of God against anyone who takes God's name in vain or who goes against God.

Faith in one's belief produces a barrier to further investigation. Religious groups that differ in beliefs from other societies cannot see past their own barriers. When hate enters into the prison of their beliefs, the seeds for violence to act out against other societies come to full bloom.

Hate Your Family!

"If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple." (Luke 14:26)

Comment

This remarkable statement of hate by Jesus directly contradicts the idea of a loving Christ. If one must hate their father, mother, wife, children, brethren and sisters and even themselves, in order to become a disciple of Jesus, one must question Christ's idea love, family, and decency.

(See also Luke 12:51-53, Matthew 10:34-37.)

Note: A few desperate apologists attempt to dismiss this verse claiming that the word 'hate' here really doesn't mean what it says. The problem with this approach boarders on complete deception and the ironic dismissal of the Bible and Biblical scholarship. The word 'hate' here comes from the ancient Greek word 'miseo' which means hate (from the primary 'misos' [hatred]). If any synonym could substitute for this word, it would come from a word like 'detest,' 'loath,' or 'despise.' Moreover, virtually all Bibles translate the term as hate. To deny this intent means to deny the Bible and the alleged word of Jesus.

He Must Increase But I Must Decrease

"He must increase but I must decrease." (John 3:30)

Comment

The dubious Old Testament concept of declaring the entire human population as depraved and sinful goes far to insure an inferiority complex, but this verse takes it to a lower level. One of the distinctive features of the Dark Ages showed how the faithful would publicly display their lower status by prostrating and punishing themselves before crosses, priests, and churches. Monastic disciplines adopted flagellation and scourging in the fifth and following centuries. Self-flagellation served as a discipline as a measure of mortification and penance as exemplified in the lives of St. Dominic Loricatus and St. Peter Damian. Damian wrote a special treatise in praise of self-flagellation. In the 13th century a sect developed called the Flagellants where its members would whip themselves in public which aroused much excitement among the populace. [Catholic Encyclopedia]

To decrease one's earthly life for promoting an increase of a superstitious idea, in effect, declares humans as unworthy and valueless. Belief in universal sin and increasing the myth of Jesus above all human concerns must put this kind of worship as among the most insidious and depraved forms of human thought known to man.

"There was a time when religion ruled the world. It is known as The Dark Ages."

-Ruth Hurmence Green (The Born Again Skeptic's Guide to the Bible)

Human Sacrifice

"Thou shalt not delay to offer the first of thy ripe fruits, and of thy liquors: the firstborn of thy sons shalt thou give unto me." (Exodus 22:29)

Comment

This verse refers to human sacrifice which many primitive cultures practiced.

In the Canaanite world the Molech cult practiced human sacrifice and many scholars equate Yahweh with the Molech god. Explicit references to Molech appear in Lev. 18:21, 20:2-5; Jer. 32:35 and II Kings 23:10. Fortunately, few people believe in sacrificing humans directly to gods these days (but Christian leaders still sacrifice soldiers and innocent men, women, and children in the name of "freedom" and God).

(See also Gen. 22:1-19 for Abraham's will to sacrifice his son Isaac, and Judges 11)

Make Weapons

"Proclaim ye this among the Gentiles; Prepare war, wake up the mighty men, let all the men of war draw near; let them come up: Beat your plowshares into swords, and your pruninghooks into spears: let the weak say, I am strong." (Joel 3:9-10)

Comment

Peace loving Jews and Christians love to quote the biblical passage about beating swords into ploughshares and spears into pruninghooks, (Micah 4:3) but here we have just the opposite.

More Than One God

"Now I know that the LORD is greater than all gods: for in the thing wherein they dealt proudly he was above them." (Exodus 18:11)

Comment

Here we have the Bible alluding to the existence of more than one god.

Note that it does not say "the Lord is the only god" but rather that he "is greater than all gods."

History records that the ancient people in the area of the Middle East, including the Hebrews, believed in many goddesses and gods. Yahweh served only as their god, a god among many others.

"It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are 20 gods, or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg."

--Thomas Jefferson

Pray in the Closet

"And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly." (Matthew 6:5-6)

Comment

The Religious Right wishes to put into law public prayer. How many Christians realize that the Biblical Jesus strongly opposed public prayer?

The wall of separation between Church and State, actually protects the religious liberties for all of us in the United States and here we have Biblical justification for keeping prayer private.

Serpent Jews

"Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?" (Matthew 23:33)

Comment

Chapter 23 describes the famous diatribe of Jesus against the Jewish leaders. Such biblical words has, for centuries, given believers justification for Jewish hatred. This verse, spoken by the alleged Jesus himself, compares the unbelieving Jews with the serpent devil.

Slay Enemies

"But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me." (Luke 19:27)

Comment

Although Jesus in one instance calls for the love of enemies, at the end of the parable of ten pounds, he orders to slay his enemies that would deny his reign (Luke 19:12-27). Despite the commandment not to kill, Jesus accepts the killing of humans here.

Believers try to escape this problem by claiming, "Well, it's just a parable." Of course when Jesus gives a parable about love or living, then the parable serves as an important lesson which the faithful should take seriously. So also must any of Jesus' parables. Nor can one escape by route of metaphorical excuse. The parable clearly connects the "nobleman" with Jesus (see verse 12) , and there occurs no other meaning for a metaphorical "slay" other than words like "kill," "slaughter," "massacre," etc.

Although there occurs scholarly debate as to whether Jesus meant verse 27 as part of the parable or as a non-parable conclusion, it has far more serious consequences if believed as a parable. Why? Because a parable instructs beyond the life-time of the parable's author. If the author of these words meant it only as an example during Jesus' alleged life on earth, then it would serve only as a request of Jesus during his life time. But as a parable, it lives through the followers of Jesus who believe that he still lives (in Heaven) and that they might follow his commands, even after his death-and-resurrection. As a parable then, slaying of enemies "before me" (in Jesus' spirit) instructs believers well past the alleged life of Jesus.

If any one need Biblical justification to kill anyone who denies Jesus, or whom you believe acts as an enemy, you need only to believe this verse.

Synagogues Of Satan

"But this thou hast, that thou hatest the deeds of the Nicolaitanes, which I also hate." (Revelation 2:6)

"I know thy works, and tribulation, and poverty, (but thou art rich) and I know the blasphemy of them which say they are Jews, and are not, but are the synagogue of Satan." (Revelation 2:9)

"So hast thou also them that hold the doctrine of the Nicolaitanes, which the thing I hate." (Revelation 2:15)

"Behold, I will make them of the synagogue of Satan, which say they are Jews, and are not, but do lie; behold, I will make them to come and worship before thy feet, and to know that I have loved thee." (Revelation 3:9)

Comment

These verses by Jesus has fueled the engine of anti-Semitism throughout Europe and the rest of the world for centuries. Unfortunately many believers today still justify their hatred of Jews based on Scripture.

Note that we have here in Rev 2:6 the words of Jesus admitting to hate, contrary to the belief by many Christians that Jesus holds only to the principle of love.

The Talking Donkey

"And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she fell down under Balaam: and Balaam's anger was kindled, and he smote the ass with a staff. And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, 'What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?' And Balaam said unto the ass, 'Because thou hast mocked me: I would there were a sword in mine hand, for now would I kill thee.' And the ass said unto Balaam, 'Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day? was I ever wont to do so unto thee?' And he said, 'Nay.'" (Numbers 22:27-30)

Comment

Here we have, as absurd as it may seem, a talking donkey. If we came across a talking animal, would we not feel amazed? Yet, oddly, Balaam here seems not the least bit concerned and converses with the ass as if nothing unusual had happened!

Given that millions of fundamentalists believe every world in the Bible, they would have us also believe that the Bible has its own version of Mr. Ed.

Notice that Balaam's cruel behavior to the donkey seems to have mimicked God's jealous behavior towards His people. Yet God responds to Balaam: "thy way is perverse before me." (Num. 22:32)

"If the bible had said that Jonah swallowed the whale, I would believe it."

--William Jennings Bryan

The "Gods"

"Thou shalt have no other gods before me." (Exodus 20:3)

"Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;" (Exodus 20:5)

Comment

Note this does not mean "I am the only god," but rather, that one shall not believe in other gods above the God of the Chosen People.

Scholars and archeologists know that the early Hebrews practiced polytheism.

Not only does the Bible describe the polytheism of the Hebrews but digs from archeological sites give evidence that these early people believed in many gods, or more accurately, goddesses. They have found many statuette goddesses among their living dwellings.

Monotheism appears later in the Bible. Historically, monotheism got taught by many Greek philosophers. Judaism later separated itself from the Hellenistic world with its belief in only one supreme deity.

In verse 20:5 we have here a god so jealous that he holds a grudge against the children of the fathers who hated him. Hardly a concept of a forgiving and loving God. And if not against the other gods, just who could God claim for his jealousy?

The Sun Stands Still

"Then spake Joshua to the LORD in the day when the LORD delivered up the Amorites before the children of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel, Sun, stand thou still upon Gibeon; and thou, Moon, in the valley of Ajalon. And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. Is not this written in the book of Jasher? So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day." (Joshua 10:12-13)

Comment

These verses imply that the sun moves around the earth. If the Bible actually represents the words or inspired words of God, then why didn't the Great Creator inspire them to tell the truth about the universe and our solar system?

Also, the Bible asks us to believe that a supposedly loving God made the sun stand still for the sole purpose of helping the Israelites slaughter the Amorites. How can one not see that these verses would insult the intelligence of any person who believes God possess wisdom, knowledge and love?

Turn Thy Cheek

"But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." (Matthew 5:39)

Comment

This nonviolent principle does not originate with Jesus. Lao-tse and the Buddha taught this five or six hundred years before Jesus, but does this represent a good rule to follow?

Ironically, few Christians hold to this principle. In fact, the Religious Right preach just the opposite as Christians throughout the centuries have violently attacked anyone who dared threaten them.

Although one should not overly react if smacked on the cheek, it might prove prudent to raise your hand in defense or at least leave the scene of trouble to avoid conflict. If you turn your other cheek to get smacked again, your enemy may just break your jaw or beat you to a pulp.

Wars must be

"And when ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars, be ye not troubled: for such things must needs be; but the end shall not be yet. For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be earthquakes in divers places, and there shall be famines and troubles: these are the beginnings of sorrows." (Mark 13:7-8)

Comment

Belief in these words can justify any war and atrocity against nations. Yet Jesus here tells us that we should not feel troubled by it as long as we have belief in Him.

When Jesus prophesies about the future, he gives the message that we have no control over our lives other than to choose or not choose a belief in the Lord. With such a message, it should not surprise anyone why the Religious Right does little to strive against war.

[malliebuu]

Mallie’s Reylo Fanfic Rec List:

This is in no particular order and not limited to! There are so many talented writers out there! These are stories that have really stuck with me, so I am sharing them with you all! I will add as I go.

↔

The Inheritance of the Resistance by @waterlilyrose

Rating: Explicit

Summary: The discovery of a new unknown Duchess of the House of Kenobi brings new life to the Rebellion Court. Having lost their old Queen Leia, Rey and Han are forced into a deeply unconventional but quietly happy marriage. Having never had a family of her own, Rey sees Han as the father figure she always longed for.

So when the disgraced Prince returns to court to make amends with his aging King, how will he take to the girl who is now effectively his stepmother?

Medieval/Tudor Reylo.

Review: This has Tudor vibes - it is unreal. I love history, so naturally historically AUs are right up my ally. I was quite impressed by the setup and dynamic. The author uses Star Wars terms in place for the historical ones. This doesn’t follow the Tudor chain of events, but veers in it’s own original direction. Ben and Rey for this interesting relationship and it is quite troubled because Rey is actually married to Ben’s father ::gasp::. Love this fiction. So beautifully heartbreaking! (complete) 

↔

There Shall I Be By philcollins

Rating: Not Rated (Mature if anything)

Summary: AU in which Rey, our lonely scavenger from The Force Awakens, meets Kylo Ren under very different circumstances - he's a shepherd on Jakku. Rey inherits an estate on the moon Ceathea and Kylo follows her there, works for her there, and soon encounters his hated old foe, Uncle Luke Skywalker. Will Rey ever accept Kylo's love? Will crusty old Luke Skywalker come between Rey and her true love? More familiar faces will make an appearance in this Force-free story of love, longing, angst, and anger.

Review: This story was so heartbreaking, but so good. A mix of pining, angst, drama and uncertainty. This story I read nonstop and was quite heart broken, but these two stubborn people just need a little extra time in order to figure out they were meant for one another. This story had me sighing and talking aloud with frustration! So well-written! (Complete)

↔

The End of Father Kylo By Sweet_Solitude

Rating: Explicit

Summary: After a filthy youth and almost suffering a great loss, Kylo turns to priesthood and leads a virtuous life. That is until he meets a girl who turns his world upside down and reminds him that he has a functioning body below his waist.

Review: Again, this one was found during my priest Kylo fazes. Don’t judge me! This has everything you would think when you think of the church and priests, though there is a little bit of something else. Yes, I am going to hell. I know this. Smut, smut! Love this kinky one-shot. If you aren’t offended by this, give it a read. ::fans face:: (one-shot)

↔

Fault Lines By Devil Betty

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Rey has always dreamed of a family. She starts to believe she could have it when she moves in with her new foster mother, Leia Organa. Then Leia’s son, Ben, moves back home and threatens to ruin the life Rey is trying to build. Nothing will prepare either of them for the truth. Some family secrets should stay hidden.

Review: This story is a “page-turner”. It has a simple setting, but so much happens and the dialogue between both Kylo and Rey are so intriguing. The chemistry is unmistakable and the lemons are to die for. Unfortunately, this is one minor thing that has a draw back, and both character experience a major revelation that hurts them both. Please read warnings before reading!!

↔

Spit and Sweat by bunnystealsyourcarrots

Rating: Explicit

Summary: In 1975, Finalizer played a gig at CBGB. The punk band gave their best, the crowd went wild, but a young girl named Rey wanted more.

God Save Them All.

Review: AH! This AU I really couldn’t get enough of because it involves our lovely Kylo and Rey, but is also peppered with sex, drugs and rock-n-roll! I mean...no on the drugs, but in all seriousness, I LOVE Rock-n-roll! So, naturally I honed in on this like no one’s tomorrow! The chemistry between Kylo and Rey is off the damn charts! Ugh, the sexual tension! I absolutely love how this starts as a childhood crush and as she gets older Kylo sees her and is completely blown away! (Uncomplete)

↔

Love and Comfort, Sex and Wondering If This Could Be Our Turn By AquaWolfGirl

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Anonymous Prompt: Ben and Rey are in college and best friends, and very much in love, they just don't realize it. Rey is tired of people making jokes about her being a virgin, so she asks Ben to help her out.

Review: Virgin Rey has a little delima. Ben is there to help guide her. This is actually a very sweet and sexy story! Give it a read! The author is a fantastic writer! (One-Shot)

↔

nolite te bastardes carborundorum By SaintHeretical

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Born on the fringes of a dystopian dictatorship, Rey has lived most of her life in the shadows until desperation drives her into the hands of the government. Her unblemished womb is her only salvation, which leads to her being placed as a Handmaid in the household of Commander Kylo Ren and his infertile wife.

Her task? Produce a healthy child for the Commander, or be banished to a life of hardship and almost certain death. A Reylo Handmaid’s Tale AU

Review: I loved The Handmaid's Tale, so naturally when I visited this story, I was drawn to that aspect. There is non-con in this, so please beware when reading. If you do not know the Hulu original series, refer to their site for a detailed description. The author, in response to this TV show, stays true, but brings originality and this is really a wonderfully written piece. The author is extremely talented! (Unfinished)

↔

Innocents Lost By Pontmercy44

Rating: Explicit

Summary: “That’ll scar.” Han stood behind him, nervously. He’d always been nervous around him, first, because he was a baby, and Han didn’t understand babies, and then, because he had the Force, and Han didn’t understand the Force. “Girls like scars.”

“It’s not like it matters.” Ben looked out at the thousands of spires. “I’m going to be a Jedi.”

Han grunted in sympathy, and then sat next to him, swinging his legs off the side of the tower. The urge to feel alive, to take risks and taste danger – that was what he’d inherited from his father. “Heard you got off the hook.”

“Not exactly. Community service.”

“Better than a detention block.” Han leaned back on his hands.

Ben scoffed. “It’s asinine.”

His father shifted, looking up at the stars, through the hazy, translucent atmosphere of Hosnian Prime. “What do they have you doing? Picking up orbit pollution, or something?”

“Worse.” Ben snorted. “Teaching orphans to read and write Basic. On Jakku.”

Han winced. “Only slightly better than a detention block.”

Review: Love this story! I flew through it. Very well-written! Ben has to do community service as punishment and meets little Rey on Jakku. This forbidden relationship is beautiful and bittersweet at the same time. I love this first love adaptation! The author went above and beyond with these two! (complete)

↔

Daddy Dearest By AquaWolfGirl

Rating: Explicit

Summary: When single father Ben Solo moves into his new apartment in Bespin with 5-month old daughter Amy in tow, he hopes to hell and back that this life will be better than the one they left behind in upstate New York. It's not long before his life becomes a cycle of work, Amy, work, Amy. One night, while trying to fish his keys from his pocket without waking his infant daughter, Rey, his next door neighbor, offers a helping hand.

Review: Daddy Ben! He is a great dad who falls for the babysitter. Interesting read; well written! You feel so sorry for Ben, but also Rey is a God send! Sweet interactions! Give it a read if you want some light hearted, fluffy interactions. Not much for fluff, but this was really a nice read! :3

↔

Stigmata By SaintHeretical

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Fifteen years after tragedy tore them apart, a priest and his sister band together to protect a homeless girl who appears to have been touched by God. Too bad his excommunicated nephew seems to have other plans for her.

A Reylo slow burn Modern/Religious AU.

Review: After the priest hype came out, I searched merely to humor myself. I found a few fictions that really had an interesting plot. This is one of them. Focused on Christianity and different groups within. Kylo and Leia are curious about this young girl who turns out to be homeless and has a curious development. She has formed the stigmata. This really is different than anything I have experienced. I usually don’t go for stuff like this, but there is enough angst and romance to fill my needs. LOVE it!

↔

World In My Eyes By Sasstasticmad

Rated: Explicit

Summary: "The bond should be dead," Rey says through gritted teeth. "Just like you.”

"The bond is only this strong because of you," Kylo Ren tells her. "You're the one who touched me. You took my hand and let me hold yours. This is your fault, not mine. (A post-TLJ force bond fic)

Review: This is after TLJ. I was obsessed for a while, which I am sure comes to no shock to anyone! Everyone was wrapped up in the force bond, which sasstasticmad delivers VERY well! There is so much continued tension between Rey and Kylo. It is quite interesting to see these two continue their interaction from opposite groups. The Resistance Vs First Order. (incomplete)

↔

Wolves By @albastargazer

Rated: Explicit

Summary: Rey Kenobi is a human beta until one fatal night and everything changes. With the existence of werewolves turning her world upside down, she is left with only her boss, Ben Solo, to help. Little did she know he is an Alpha wolf and the next leader of his pack, intent on claiming his rare omega.

Review: A/O/B dynamic. This story really is amazing. I have always had a soft spot for werewolves and I haven’t really had the pleasure of finding one that really stuck yet, of course, that was until I stumbled upon this little number. The dynamic between Ben and Rey is quite interesting. A horrible event leads Rey down an interesting path. Ben takes charge and attempts to help Rey. Interesting revelations emerge, however. (incomplete)

↔

Hatchling By g_girl143 @gwendy85

Rated: Teen

Summary: Rey's leads a predictable life as a general labourer at Niima Junkyard until an unexpected visit from the daughter she doesn't even know exists turns her world into a tailspin.

Review: This is simply the sweetest story. I binged it in one sitting. So sad that it doesn’t update as frequently, but when I do get an e-mail I am jumping for joy! This author really is talented. Love the way this dynamic is set up. There are so many intriguing questions-- you are left wanting more. So bitter sweet it isn’t complete! It really is something I haven’t seen done before. Really hope that it is completed someday! So much potential! I cannot wait to see what becomes of this new found family knit that develops on a whim, no thanks for Rey’s surprise daughter! ;)

↔

Kismet by @ladylionhart

Rated: Mature

Summary: Sometimes, what seems like a simple mistake is truly the first step of a fateful journey.

- Or the one where a single text message sent to the wrong number completely changes the lives of two people and those around them.

Review: Easily one of my all time favs! This is such an amazingly written, intriguing AU. It really begins like none other via text. Both parties, shockingly, continue their witty bouts of conversation until they both begin to develop feelings for one another without actually seeing one another. When they finally begin to interact on a level far from platonic, it heats up fast and you are left needing more! LOVE!

↔

Summer Heat By @isharan

Rating: Explicit

Summary: A lonely young woman arrives at the cottage she inherited from her grandfather on a remote lake in northern Ontario, to find her neighbor is a rare Alpha, a relic of the old days when humans were ruled by their designation. Across a long hot summer, they connect over their shared history, and she finds that the past may not be as far away as she assumed.

Review: ::Bats lashes:: What can I say about this one? Well, I am slowly dying because man is this a slow burn! This is an A/O/B dynamic, but it is so well written that it isn’t just a heat and commence screwing each other’s brains out. No, this really has amazing storyline that has you asking questions or attempting to figure out the author’s train of thought. Gosh, there are so many good things to say about this fic! Ben is absolutely a dream in this fiction too. I cannot even begin to describe because I just wouldn’t do it justice. This fiction killed me in a good way! (Incomplete)

↔

Serotonin and Dopamine By Pontmercy44

Rating: Explicit

Summary: He could lie and say it was because he was gentleman, but that wasn’t quite true. “I – well, I want to take advantage of you. But I know better.”

Rey looked at him for a long moment, and Ben thought she might slap him. She didn’t. She started to laugh, shaking her head as if she couldn’t quite believe it. Finally, she said, smiling, “Goodnight, Ben.”

Ben turned and walked slowly back to his car. He heard her door creak open, but he didn’t hear it slam shut. It felt as if he was walking away from his chance, from his chance to have something good and uncomplicated and nice.

Ben turned around, and went back to the door. Rey waited for him, biting her lip. He took off his stocking cap and held it in his hands in front of himself. His ears were cold without his hat, but he was in the posture of remorse and penance. "I'm sorry. I'm an ass. Can I kiss you again?"

Review: This fiction was different and reeled me in because Ben was different. In this fiction he has mental disorder that makes it difficult to form relationships. Though, Rey takes to him and Ben to her in the sweetest of ways! I really liked the development in this story. The author delivers fluffy feels too. I am not usually one that enjoys a ton of fluff, but they did right by it! (Complete)

↔

An empire to be won By Bitterbones @dvrksister

Rating: Explicit

Summary: The grin of satisfaction that split Rey’s face was utterly demented. “In three days time I will be wed to her son.” Rose blanched at the word son, apparently having been unaware of the familial relationship between her beloved general and the scourge of the galaxy.

Rey chuckled and continued, “It will be televised across the galaxy, and I’m certain that she will be watching; supportive mother that she is. Tell her to look on her son’s face, and see that he is gone. Tell her that the mark she sees there is my own, that it is an engagement gift from myself. And tell her that where she failed to save Ben Solo, I will raise Kylo Ren.”

[In which Kylo and Rey are betrothed as children and separated for their respective darkside trainings. Their reintroduction as adults is explosive, to say the least.]

Review: Cold Showers. I swear, these two, from the beginning, have so much sexual chemistry I had to fan myself when reading. Holy shit, this was tense. I LOVE her Kylo. This is an arranged marriage fiction, but even so there is so much going on in the world she so wonderfully weaved as well as the character interactions. You will be flying through each chapter begging for more! (Incomplete)

↔

Eunoia By MalevolantReverie @malevolent-reverie @meth-lab-shenanigans

Rate: Explicit

Summary: Rey Kenobi, an underachieving college student becomes tangled in a twisted web with her astronomy professor, Kylo Ren, who is hiding a dark secret. (Unfinished)

Review: Violent, dark, heart wrenching, Eunoia is the cream of the crop for dark fictions. I am a huge horror fan, so naturally I was curious to read something dark and dreary in regards to Reylo. The author doesn’t hope back, which I am quite pleased about. She really builds her word and characters fantastically. The dark character of Kylo really stays completely vile. Please only read if you can hand reading explicit content. Contains non-con!

↔

The Quietest Evening By MalevolantReverie @malevolent-reverie @meth-lab-shenanigans

Rated: Mature

Summary: Every so often, a girl disappears. No one knows where they go or why they’re taken, but they're never seen alive again. Rey, the police chief’s daughter, is next.

Review: This story is one of my favorites from MR. This one wasn’t nearly as graphic as the others she has written, but I really like the storyline she has built here. It was dark, contained secrets and revelations that had my jaw dropping. I really was at the edge of my seat for this one. It really got my heart pumping! If you are looking for a dark, angsty thriller this is the story for you. Please be aware there are triggers and non-con! (Completed)

↔

Nobody Knows By hernamewasalice @hernamewasalicewriter

Rated: Explicit

Summary: Nobody knows that the loving wife of Ben Solo was kidnapped as a teenager. Nobody knows. Not their family or closest friends. Not even their twelve year old son, Benny.

Review: Amazing story! This is another extremely dark fic, but more so the past that is associated with Rey and Kylo. Kylo has so many secrets, so does Rey. They look like the perfect couple, but really they have a more sinister start. There are parts that are tender and sweet, but the reality and hard truth of it all is quite painful. Author has an extremely fantastic beginning where she pulls you in. It is seen through the eyes of their son! So good! Recommend! Please be warned, however, there is non-con and violence! (Unfinished)

↔

[dorotazabawa-blog]

When you’ve gone to all the trouble of trawling through Christmas card templates to find the right Christmas cards to make your family and friends feel special, you want to make sure that what you write in them is perfect for the occasion. This can feel like a lot of pressure! For stress free Christmas cards from your first Christmas card ideas right through to writing your message and popping them in the mail, Paperlust has you covered. Read on for our guide to writing Christmas greeting cards that your friends will want to keep for years to come. We’ve included tonnes of advice and sample Christmas card text to make things simple.

  Two Parts to Christmas Card Greetings

Christmas greetings for cards often come in two parts: what is printed on the card and what you write in it. The printed part might be on the front of the card, or the front might just feature a picture while the message is printed inside the card. A traditional merry Christmas card (like what you’ll find in Christmas card packs from the shops) will often have an illustrated front with something like ‘Season’s Greetings’ or ‘Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year’ printed inside.

If you create your own card using a custom template like our Paperlust designs, or opt for DIY Christmas cards or free printable Christmas cards, you can get more in depth, printing text that’s intended for all your guests. This might cover everything from

If the card is blank inside, your xmas card messages will be entirely handwritten.

  Things to Write in Christmas Cards

While we are most commonly asked about how to make Christmas cards personal, it’s inevitable that you’ll have to rely on some generic sentiments in your Christmas cards as well. This gives you a starting point to build from.

Some of the most common Christmas messages for cards include:

Merry Christmas

Happy Christmas

Season’s greetings

Holiday greetings

Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas and a happy new year

Peace and joy

Christmas wishes

We wish you a merry Christmas

Yuletide greetings

Feliz Navidad

Christmas greetings

Greetings of the season

Joyeux Noel

  These are the perfect starting point when writing Christmas wishes for cards, and because they are short they frequently feature on the front or in large text inside. Whatever Christmas cards ideas you’ve got, and whether you’re opting for homemade Christmas cards, Christmas e cards or professionally designed Christmas cards, these are the little snippets of text that are key to making Christmas cards feel…well, Christmassy!

  General Christmas Messages

Whether printed or handwritten, most people will have general xmas messages for their cards – things they want to communicate to everybody they write a card to. It can be challenging to know how to make a Christmas card read appropriately for your whole audience, so it can be best to have a template merry Christmas greeting card written out that you can simply tweak or add to as you go, depending who you are writing to.

For example: Merry Christmas to my family and friends! May this holiday season be full of joy and peace, and may your celebrations be blessed.

  If you use your Christmas cards as an opportunity to share what happened during the year, you might add a message about your family too.

For example: 2018 has been a big year for the Jameson family! Dave started a new job with Eastern Health in March, and has been really enjoying the work. He continued playing footy and was proud to be awarded best and fairest. Jess has been kept busy enjoying the new challenges of being a mum to two. She has been getting involved in the school community and still enjoys playing netball each week. Lucy started grade prep in February and has been thriving. She is turning into a great reader and loves our regular trips to the library. Lucy loves being a big sister and never leaves Max’s side when she’s at home. Max is now a happy 7 month old. He recently started on solid food and mashed banana is his favourite.

We hope 2018 has been as kind to you as it has been to us, and we wish all our friends and family a wonderful 2019.

  If you’re confident that your generic message is going to suit all your guests, consider printing it on your holiday cards and adding small handwritten Christmas card notes for your closest family and friends. This is a great way to add a personal touch without having to make your own homemade Christmas cards from scratch. Easy Christmas cards (that still have the charm of handmade xmas cards) are the dream at such a busy time of year! And thanks to Paperlust, simple Christmas cards don’t have to mean printing them on computer paper or emailing e xmas card at the last minute: you can create Christmas cards that are perfectly suited to you without all the fuss that normally accompanies anything personalised.

  Christmas Card Words

When writing your merry xmas cards, there are a number of words you can use throughout to give that warm Christmas feel. Consider dotting your greetings for Christmas with words like:

Cheer

Merry

Warm

Blessed

Festive

Happy

Joy

Peace

Goodwill

Wishes

Greetings

Holidays

Yuletide

  If you live in the Northern Hemisphere, consider throwing in words like:

Frosty

Winter / wintry

Snow / snowmen

Icy

  There are also endless Christmassy things you can refer to, including:

Gifts

Santa

Stockings

Angels

Christmas tree

Holly

Elves

Reindeer and sleigh

Candy canes

Fruitcake or mince pies

Nativity

Carols / carolers

Mistletoe

Eggnog

Tradition

  Personal Christmas Messages

A personal Christmas message is the easiest way to make a Christmas card truly meaningful, especially if it is handwritten. This is important for all Christmas cards, but especially Christmas cards for your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, kids, parents, or best friend. Your Christmas or happy holidays cards should be as emotional (or not) as is normal for you and in your relationship.

  For example, a personal message could say something like:

Merry Christmas Dad! I’m so excited for the chance to celebrate with you again after all these years. Wishing you a joyful holiday season and a wonderful new year full of all the things you love. Can’t wait to see you soon. Love, Jemma.

  But personal Christmas wishes for cards could also mean something like:

Dear Amy – Wishing you a very merry Christmas, filled with family and friends, joy and peace. You are the love of my life and I am so grateful for each and every day I get to spend with you. All I want for Christmas is you, truly. Love forever, Mick.

  Flipped around the other way, these two messages might seem strange and out of place. The trick is to know your audience and write from the heart!

  Religious Christmas card verses

For many, Christmas is about far more than just presents and food: it’s an important time of year on the religious calendar as well. This is often celebrated with a traditional Christmas card. Christian Christmas cards often feature Bible verses.

Popular Christmas verses for greeting cards include (all xmas card verses written here from the NIV):

Isaiah 9:6 – “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders, and he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace”

Isaiah 7:14 – “Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.”

Luke 2:10-11 – “But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Saviour has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.”

John 1:14 – “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

  The lyrics to some of the more religious Christmas carols also make great Christmas verses for cards.

“Silent night! Holy night! Son of God, love’s pure light”

“Joy to the world! The Lord is come: let Earth receive her King!”

“This, this is Christ the King, Whom shepherds guard and angels sing”

“Hail, hail the Word made flesh, the Babe, the Son of Mary.”

“A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn”

“Come and behold Him, born the King of Angels, O come let us adore Him”

“Peace on Earth and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled”

“Noel, noel, noel, noel, born is the King of Israel”

“So God imparts to human hearts the blessings of His heaven.”

“O holy child of Bethlehem, descend to us we pray, cast out our sin and enter in, be born to us today.”

  Whether you choose biblical xmas verses for cards, carol lyrics or other Christmas cards verses, or a simple Christian Christmas greeting, Paperlust is the ideal place to order religious Christmas cards Australia wide and beyond – you have full control over the text and can make it say whatever you want. Our job is to make sure it all looks perfect and get it to you fast.

  Christmas quotes for cards

Christians aren’t the only ones that like to include quotes on their Christmas greetings cards, and there are tonnes of non-religious quotes from songs, poems and stories that you can choose from. These quotes are perfect if you’re looking for Christmas card greeting ideas and don’t have anything you particularly want to say. They make a great starting point for the rest of your xmas card greetings, and can either be printed on your cards if you’re going to create your own cards and have them printed or are opting for Christmas cards homemade, or can be written on blank Christmas cards.

  Popular quotes for your Christmas and New Year cards include:

“Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.” – Clement Clarke Moore

“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas Day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.” – Andy Rooney

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” – ‘Elf’

“We are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmastime.” – Laura Ingalls Wilder

“I heard the bells on Christmas Day, their old, familiar carols play, and wild and sweet, the words repeat, of peace on Earth, goodwill to men!” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.” – Dr. Seuss

  And from songs and carols, consider:

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!”

“We wish you a merry Christmas”

“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas”

“Jingle Bells, jingle Bells, jingle all the way”

“Santa Claus is coming to town”

“Rocking around the Christmas tree, have a happy holiday, everyone dancing merrily in a new old fashioned way.”

“Walking in a Winter Wonderland”

“O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree, how lovely are your branches”

“Come on it’s lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you”

    Funny xmas cards

One of the most common things we are asked about is xmas cards ideas for those who like their Christmas cards funny. Making xmas cards funny can be tricky: you want it to seem natural, not forced. If you’re just going for cheap Christmas cards, you might feel more inclined to experiment, but if you’re going to spend money on premium or luxury Christmas cards it can feel like a big risk! But it doesn’t have to. The key is to know your audience and make sure you create a Christmas card that everyone on your Christmas card list will be able to appreciate, from your best friend to your grandma.

Quotes from songs, books or movies are perfect for funny xmas card messages, or you can put a funny spin on a Christmas theme. Some fun choices include:

“All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth”

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear” – ‘Elf’

“It’s all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list”

“Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle”

“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge

“Prosec-ho-ho-ho!“

“Merry Christmas ya filthy animal” – ‘Home Alone 2’

  Another great way to create funny or quirky Christmas cards is to include an in-joke that only your friends will get. Just make sure everyone receiving a card will understand the joke! If you want to include your own in-joke on a card, Paperlust is ideal for funny Christmas cards in Australia or overseas, because our Christmas card creator tool gives you full control over the text. When you create Christmas cards online you can make sure the wording is perfect, then our design team will make sure it looks great and our customer service team will get it shipped express to you, so can be confident that you’ll have your cards for Christmas.

  Aussie Christmas Greetings

If you’re in Australia and post Christmas cards to friends and family overseas, you might want to add some Aussie greetings for something a little unique. For the full effect, choose Australian themed Christmas cards as well! Both Aussie Christmas cards and Aussie Christmas wishes typically hinge on reminding people you’re celebrating in the summertime on the beach or in the bush.

You don’t need to write ‘G’day from Down Under’ just because you want to send Christmas wishes from Australia (although you can if you like!). Consider writing something like:

Merry Christmas from sunny Australia! I’ll be celebrating the silly season this year with a beer at the beach, a long way from our usual traditions! Hope you all have a great holiday – can’t wait to catch up when I’m home. Love, Lucy.

  Kids Christmas Cards

Coming up with cool Christmas cards ideas for kids can be daunting, especially if your kids have strong ideas about what constitutes ‘awesome Christmas cards’ and you’re not sure you agree!

At Paperlust we have a range of Christmas cards templates for kids, and they’re fully customisable. That means whether you’re looking for Christmas cards for kids, family or baby’s first Christmas Australia wide or beyond, you’ll be able to get something that’s perfect for the occasion. We make it easy to make Christmas cards online that come out looking professional and luxurious. One of our most popular options for kids are our photo Christmas cards. Instead of working out how to make Christmas cards at home with kids without making a mess (somehow!), why not use a photo of your kids or a photo of a piece of art your child created during the year?

But once you’ve got the perfect childrens Christmas cards, what then? How do you write cute Christmas greetings or personal Christmas messages for children’s cards? There are two approaches to getting amazing Christmas cards from your kids: either let them do their thing and hope it comes out cute, or take a more hands-on approach.

If you’re letting them do their thing, either have them dictate what to put in a Christmas card and write it out for them, or let them write their own, depending on their age and capability. If you want to offer more guidance, you might want to write out some greetings for Christmas cards that they can copy out (or write out a xmas card template in pencil and let them trace over it).

  Simple Christmas card ideas for greetings might include something like:

Dear Uncle Jim and Aunty Bec, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Love from Isla.

  This is simple and easy to copy, but coming from your child will be super meaningful for the recipients.

  Business Christmas Greetings

Writing a happy Christmas card isn’t always a personal thing – sometimes you’re writing Christmas card greetings for business purposes instead. Writing Christmas greetings for clients, colleagues or other professional contacts can often be even more difficult than writing a personal note, since you don’t have the same sort of emotions or shared experiences to draw on for inspiration.

Corporate cards often come in the form of Christmas thank you cards in addition to simple well-wishing, thanking clients for their business or staff members for their service through the year. A corporate Christmas card is also a form of advertising, reminding people of your company and attempting to inspire good will for the coming year.

Christmas greeting messages for businesses should be kept simple and to-the-point. It’s also a good idea to avoid religious messaging on Christmas greetings to clients (although whether you extend this to avoiding ‘Christmas’ altogether and simply wishing ‘Happy Holidays’ or ‘Season’s Greetings’ is up to you).

If you’re looking for corporate Christmas card ideas, browse our collection today, and take a look at our complete guide to Christmas greetings for business while you’re there.

  Sample Christmas card messages for business may read:

Dear Mr Jones, Wishing you and your family a very happy holidays and a joyful New Year. We thank you for your support in 2018, and we look forward to another great year to come. Kind regards, (business name).

  Dear Frank and Jessica, Merry Christmas! We hope you enjoy this time of celebration and rest. We have truly appreciated your business in 2018, and wish you every success and joy in the New Year. Best, (business name)

  Keep it simple and match the language to your business persona, and you can’t go wrong.

Paperlust is your home for Christmas stationery, from Christmas party invitations and Christmas cards right through to Xmas tags. Whatever Christmas card size, shape or design, and whether you’re looking to buy bulk Christmas cards or just a few for your nearest and dearest, we can help. Browse our curated collection of Christmas card design templates today.

The post Christmas Greetings: What to write in a Christmas card appeared first on Paperlust.

[the-domestication-of-the-dog]

The 7th Annual L.A.O.K. Awards

Had a goal to break 100 new releases this year. Happy to report that I reached my goal--watching The Angry Birds Movie on Netflix in the process--before remembering three separate movies I had forgotten to mark down in the process of writing this post. So since I don’t want my viewing to have been in vain, stay tuned for my intensive shot-by-shot longform essay on The Angry Birds Movie. “Part 1 (of 8): Mise-en-Scène” coming January 9. Now on to the show:

Best Movie American Honey The Fits Indignation Moonlight Silence

Welp, sorry everyone. I’m going to assume that some of you that live in LA have seen some of these, but to everyone else, SNOREFEST! To help jazz these up a bit, I’m going to have this year’s Layokie’s hosted by the promoters of the Kickspit Underground Rock Festival, Under-Underground Records’ own DJ Supersoak and Lil Blaster.

In case you didn’t notice, it’s that crazy-ass time of year again, the Lay-O-KEEZ! Woot-Woot! This year we got all the best movies: a meandering 3-hour mumblecore saga about a bunch of white trash teens riding around in a van selling magazine subscriptions, and it stars--SHIA LABEOUF WITH A RAT TAIL; an ultra low-budget indie about a quiet girl who wants to be in a dance group--BUT EVERYONE GETS SEIZURES; a Philip Roth adaptation with a 17-minute long scene that’s--JUST DIALOGUE; another low-budget indie about a quiet boy who has trouble breaking out of a very sad home and school environment and has trouble--DEALING WITH HIS SEXUALITY; a slogging, 3-hour religious epic about the struggle to hear God’s voice after sacrificing everything to travel to a foreign land and find a long-lost priest against impossible odds--AND ALSO THERE’S TORTURE.

In all seriousness, I thought this year was filled with small, challenging movies that deserved a wide audience, and if this list serves to even get a couple more views for them, I’d be satisfied. HAHA, HELL YEEAH.

And the Layokie goes to… Silence

Five minutes into this movie, I was in love. Scorsese is easily my favorite director, but that doesn’t mean he gets a pass. I thought Hugo was fairly awful. (Faithful readers will remember that Hugo previously won an “Absent on Purpose” Layokie, and was further remarked upon thusly: “Hugo should have been called, George Melies and the Kid Who Had a Problem but then Solved It After 45 Minutes.”) Silence, on the other hand, was pure, epic filmmaking of a type you hardly see in The Walt Disney Company’s America. Silence was thoughtful, compelling, beautiful, and as religiously moving as The Passion of the Christ (which I mean as a compliment to both films). Of course it’s only in four theaters in the country right now, but I sincerely wish that Bible Belt churches would buy up theaters for this as they have for faith-based schlock like Fireproof and God’s Not Dead. I recognize that non-believers won’t have the same emotional connection watching that I had, and though there’s no way for me to separate those elements out of my appreciation, I’d like to think it holds up otherwise. Silence also has layers of suspense, heartache, and tragedy, an outstanding cast (though one sadly lacking in women), gorgeous direction and cinematography, and minimal noticeably cartoonish effects shots (a growing blight on Scorsese’s oeuvre).

A very close second is The Fits, a movie I’ve been trumpeting the better part of the year, and was fully expecting to remain my favorite. You can watch it now on Amazon Prime, and it’s only 70 minutes long. So just do it! The only problem is that there’s no way it could stand up to the hype I’ve been giving. I just didn’t know any other way to get people to watch it. It actually sucks. It’s awful. Don’t even watch it. Actually, do go ahead and watch it, but just know that it sucks terribly and you’ll probably hate it. But also put it on the biggest screen you have, turn off the lights, and put your phones and computers in the other room. You can survive for 70 minutes.

Honorable Mentions The Lobster Jackie Manchester by the Sea Nocturnal Animals The Witch

Best Director Anna Rose Holmer - The Fits Yorgos Lanthimos - The Lobster Pablo Larraín - Jackie Martin Scorsese - Silence Denis Villeneuve - Arrival

And the Layokie goes to… Martin Scorsese

From a Scorsese fanboy’s perspective, the really interesting thing about his direction in Silence is what he doesn’t do. Not a ton of moving camera, not a ton of cuts, no fancy transitions (although I do seem to remember a couple of jump dissolves). Shutter Island was similarly straightforward in style, but Silence really brings to mind--not surprisingly--The Last Temptation of Christ in invoking an invisible Hollywood style. (In fact, the shot above was pretty much the only one in the whole film to really draw attention to itself.) Without the traditional Scorsese wow moments, it’s easy to see the skill he has in generating tone, creating suspense, and evoking the POV of his characters. One of the things I like doing (I think I got this from someone else) is watching the shot-reverse shots of great directors. Pay attention to one of Silence’s opening scenes, in which three priests have a conversation across a table. The composition and pacing make it easy to see why Scorsese (with Thelma Schoonmaker at his side) is one of the best.

Honorable Mentions Andrea Arnold - American Honey Robert Eggers - The Witch Barry Jenkins - Moonlight James Schamus - Indignation Makoto Shinkai - Your Name. Trey Edward Shults - Krisha Oliver Stone - Snowden

Original Screenplay Andres Duprat - The Distinguished Citizen Yorgos Lanthimos and Efthymus Filippou - The Lobster Taylor Sheridan - Hell or High Water Paul Laverty - I, Daniel Blake Kenneth Lonergan - Manchester by the Sea

Damn is Taylor Sheridan the screenwriter of the hour or what? Last year with Sicario, now Hell or High Water (originally titled Comancheria because obviously no self-respecting screenwriter would name their script after a chunk of an idiom [plenty of screenwriters do do this, they just don’t have any self respect...or they do respect themselves, but they’re shit and they shouldn’t]).

And the Layokie goes to… Yorgos Lanthimos and Efthymis Filippou - The Lobster

The charm of this script is inherently tied to the direction of the film and the deadpan delivery of its actors, but The Lobster is fun, original, and funny, while also tragic and gut wrenching, using the silliest and scariest of premises (not unlike Nathan for You) to point a frighteningly accurate finger at human nature.

Honorable Mentions Andrea Arnold - American Honey Jeremy Saulnier - Green Room Noah Oppenheim - Jackie Jonathan Perera - Miss Sloane Robert Eggers - The Witch

Adapted Screenplay Eric Heisserer - Arrival James Schamus - Indignation Luke Davies - Lion Barry Jenkins - Moonlight Tom Ford - Nocturnal Animals Jay Cocks and Martin Scorsese - Silence

And the Layokie goes to… Jay Cocks and Martin Scorsese - Silence

Come on now, you didn’t see that coming?

Best Actor Casey Affleck - Manchester by the Sea Colin Farrell - The Lobster Andrew Garfield - Silence Jake Gyllenhaal - Nocturnal Animals Logan Lerman - Indignation

I know Colin Farrell's job is to say everything completely deadpan, but he just does it so damn well.

And the Layokie goes to… Andrew Garfield

Alright I know this is now the Silence parade. But he really was the best. Go see it. Also his accent sucks in Hacksaw Ridge.

Honorable Mentions Dave Johns - I, Daniel Blake Joseph Gordon Levitt - Snowden

Best Actress Amy Adams - Arrival Natalie Portman - Jackie Taraji P. Henson - Hidden Figures Molly Shannon - Other People Meryl Streep - Florence Foster Jenkins

And the Layokie goes to… Molly Shannon

Really a shame that Molly Shannon hasn’t t been getting any props for this performance. This one’s on Netflix, and worth watching just for her.

Best Documentary 13th I Am not Your Negro O.J.: Made in America The Beatles: Eight Days a Week - The Touring Years Weiner

And the Layokie goes to… O.J.: Made in America

There’s not even a question. The only reason this didn’t make it to my list of top films is because it was so obviously made for television. (It’s an 8.5-hour film set up in five parts, aka, five weeknights.) However, it did qualify for consideration, and it is incredible. If you have access to WatchESPN, make time for it. It’s about much more than O.J., but even if it wasn’t, his story alone is fascinating. Whatever you call it, it’s one of the best things you can watch on a screen right now.

Honorable Mentions City of Gold Life, Animated Lo and Behold: Reveries of the Connected World Tickled Under the Gun

Best Supporting Actor John Goodman - 10 Cloverfield Lane Yôsuke Kubozuka (as Kichijiro) - Silence Tracy Letts - Indignation Issei Ogata (as the Inquisitor) - Silence Michael Shannon - Nocturnal Animals

And the Layokie goes to… Issei Ogata

Again, with the Silence! Again, just go see it. Unlike Andrew Garfield you won’t think I’m an idiot for picking this guy.

Honorable Mentions Mahershala Ali - Moonlight (thought this before everyone else started saying it!) Adam Driver - Silence Peter Sarsgaard - Jackie Aaron Taylor-Johnson - Nocturnal Animals

Best Supporting Actress Nicole Kidman - Lion Hayley Squires - I, Daniel Blake Tilda Swinton - Hail, Caesar! Rachel Weisz - The Lobster Rima Te Wiata - Hunt for the Wilderpeople Michelle Williams - Manchester by the Sea

And the Layokie goes to… Nicole Kidman

She’s the bomb. Also go see Lion. It will make you cry. It made me cry, and I don’t cry at anything (except The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which makes me bawl like a baby.)

And now, Ass Dan to present all the good stuff. (RIP Ass Dan 1977-2017)

Don’t Sleep On The Accountant Goat The Legend of Tarzan Miss Sloane Snowden

Movie that Deserves Discussion Lion

Already talked about Lion some. Weeks after seeing it, this one is still an enigma for me. It was incredibly well written, directed, and acted, and it is an amazing story I think everyone should see. It’s truly worth watching. But though it was both visually stunning and emotionally engaging (brought real tears to my eyes--the kind that drip down your face) it’s also branded by a sentimentality that keeps me from wanting to place it into the annals of great cinema. Is this a problem with me, that movies with gushy happy endings can’t be considered great art by their very nature because I’m a cynic? Or does this say something about the inherent struggle we all face as humans and the dishonesty of schmaltz? My gut says the later, but my tear ducts say otherwise! Confused!

The Something Award Paterson

The Nothing Award Sing Street

Worst Movies 1. Nina 2. Independence Day: Resurgence 3. Sausage Party 4. Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk 5. Tale of Tales (the half I could sit through anyway) 6. The Brothers Grimsby 7. The BFG 8. The Little Prince 9. Live by Night 10. The Angry Birds Movie

Worst Actress Zoe Saldana - Nina

God, was this movie hard to watch. I would never have sat through it except that it was my job. First, she was wearing black face. You can try to explain to me how it wasn’t offensive because she is also black, but I was personally offended. Her accent was awful. She couldn’t sing anything like Nina Simone (no dig here, who could?). Lastly, the movie was pointless and boring as shit. Okay, I just decided to check to the movie on Rotten Tomatoes and I’ll save you the suspense. 3% fresh. AKA the opposite of fresh. 1 positive review of 39. Let’s guess, Armond White? Just went back and checked again. Nope, it’s someone named Kam Williams from something called Baret News Wire. This “positive” review notes that Saldana herself later admitted “I didn’t think I was right for the part.” Williams goes on to say: “However, I suspect anyone who actually sees the film would find Zoe’s Africanized features to be less of a distraction than her singing. For, while she certainly manages to hold her own, Nina’s fans will undoubtedly be more disappointed by the absence of the haunting strains of The High Priestess of Soul’s distinctive voice than by her impersonator’s performing in blackface.” That’s from the only positive review! Williams then finishes with “Ignore all the blackface haters, singing aside, Zoe Saldana delivers a decent enough Nina Simone impersonation here to make you wonder what all the brouhaha was ever about. Very Good (3 stars).” You know a biopic performance is good when the only person advocating for it labels it an “impersonation.”

Good in Everything Award Adam Driver - Midnight Special, Paterson, Silence

Best Cameo Tie: Nick Kroll and Nick Offerman - Knight of Cups (If I remember correctly, you can see a chunk of Nick Kroll’s nose and the back of Nick Offerman’s head.)

Best Song Humble by Connor4Real aka The Lonely Island  - Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

Actual Best Song The Veil by Peter Gabriel - Snowden

Other Best Song Shiny by Jemaine Clement - Moana (though Disney didn’t submit it ‘cause they’re dumb)

Best Animated Feature Your Name.

Fastest Learner Doctor Strange, who goes from woefully inept, to able to defeat any henchman, to able to defeat the antagonist, to able to defeat the over-villain, which is some universal galactic superpower, all in the course of about 12 real-time hours.

Most Guts Going All “Splat!” Hacksaw Ridge

The Tallest Tree and Longest Vine in the Known Universe Award The Legend of Tarzan In the words of Jeb Bush, “Please click.”

The Worst Scene to Watch While Sitting Between Your Mom and Your Aunt and Your Girlfriend The one in Bad Moms when they’re prepping her for her date and talking about cocks and jacking off uncircumcised dicks and licking foreskins and cum and all that stuff.

I did get up and change seats at this point.

Movie the Critics Hated but I Thought Was Great Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Movies Everyone Loved but I Thought Were Cinematically Incohesive, Lacking Character and Plot, Were Almost Saved by Brilliant Endings, but then Weren’t La La Land Swiss Army Man

Biggest Disappointment Jason Bourne

Scariest Moment In The Red Turtle when the guy decides to escape that well by swimming out through that tight channel. Like dude, you’re going to get stuck and drown in there you psycho. I would die trying to climb out for five days straight before I’d try to swim out through a tunnel.

Number of Movies I Had to Watch Isabelle Huppert Get Raped In 2

Biggest Gaffe Phantom Boy is a wonderful animated feature from France, but which is set in New York. At one point they get on an elevator and go from floor 0 to -3. Uh, do research much? In America, that would be floor 1 to P3. Eye roll emoji!

Least Believable On-screen Couple Jesse Eisenberg and Blake Lively in Cafe Society

Can people stop casting Jesse Eisenberg as debonair playboys? It’s not working.

Edge of My Seat Award Green Room Don’t Breathe Nocturnal Animals Silence

You Can and Should Watch on Netflix 13th Lo and Behold: Reveries of the Connected World Other People

You Can and Should Watch on Amazon Prime Cafe Society Green Room Embrace of the Serpent Eye in the Sky THE FITS! Krisha The Lobster Louder than Bombs The Witch

Best Scenes Captain America: Civil War - The escape from Bucky’s Berlin hotel and the big ol’ fight with all the people (even though Vision just disappeared for huge chunks of the fight because he could obviously just disarm all of his opponents at once without even hurting them). Doctor Strange - You know the one where are the crazy stuff happens The Fits - The climax Hell or High Water - Any time Katy Mixon was on screen Lion - The meeting of the mothers Midnight Special - Escape from the facility Moana - The song Shiny Nocturnal Animals - The entire highway confrontation Rogue One: A Star Wars Story - Darth Vader tearing shit up

Absent on Purpose Elle The Founder The Neon Demon War Dogs

Haven’t Seen 20th Century Women Captain Fantastic The Edge of Seventeen Everybody Wants Some!! Fences The Handmaiden Love & Friendship Loving Toni Erdmann

Rest in Peace Anton Yelchin

[maneuver2012]

America, the Covid, and the World

“Then I saw a beast rising up out of the sea. It had seven heads and ten horns, with ten crowns on its horns. And written on each head were names that blasphemed God.”

What is the beast with seven horns that rose from the sea as what was said in Revelation 13:1? I believe it is the Statute of Liberty with seven horns. Seven rays from a halo, which evoke the seven seas and the seven continents. In her left hand, the Statute of Liberty carries a tabula ansata inscribed JULY IV MDCCLXXVI (July 4, 1776, in Roman numerals), which is the date of the U.S. Declaration of Independence. There are words that inscribe the following: “give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.”

America was a place first discovered by Columbus. It was already a free land by the Native Americans. And it was the land where freedom was stolen due to greed of mankind. Think about what happened when the pilgrims arrived from the Mayflower. They searched for justice and freedom from the religious prosecution that was common in England during that era. It resembles the prophecy written in Revelation 12:14, which states the following: “but she was given two wings like those of a great eagle so she could fly to the place prepared for her in the wilderness. There she would be cared for and protected from the dragon for a time, times, and half a time.” It was in the new land where people were able to serve God in truest and the purest manner. However, even the purest hearts are drawn to darkness and the pure goal was later corrupted by greed as it was prophesied in Revelation 13:11 that “he [who] had two horns like those of a lamb, but he spoke with the voice of a dragon.” As time went by a religion other than puritan beliefs were prosecuted and men were enslaved into slavery and death. The land of freedom and hope for some became the land of horror and despair until The Emancipation of Proclamation in 1863, which was after the Civil War. However, the Civil War was not a war to ensure that the new land would live up to God’s Will as it was a heavy price paid to satisfy the greed to have greater political power and influence over the great nation as Jim Crow laws continued and racism even continues till this day. It is needless to say that the sacrifice of the Civil War was indeed successful as America grew into a great nation. After the world’s two most tragic wars, America prospered. The economy bloomed and New York Wall Street is the center of the world’s business transaction. However, the prospering economy comes to a stale due to Covid-19.

The Book of Daniel gives a good illustration of the Civil War, a war between the king of the north and the king of the south. It is said the king of the north shall be victorious over the south and shall rule all nations.

And at the time of the end shall the king of the south push at him: and the king of the north shall come against him like a whirlwind, with chariots, and with horsemen, and with many ships; and he shall enter into the countries, and shall overflow and pass over. He shall enter also into the glorious land, and many countries shall be overthrown: but these shall escape out of his hand, even Edom, and Moab, and the chief of the children of Ammon. He shall stretch forth his hand also upon the countries: and the land of Egypt shall not escape. But he shall have power over the treasures of gold and of silver, and overall the precious things of Egypt: and the Libyans and the Ethiopians shall be at his steps. But tidings out of the east and out of the north shall trouble him: therefore, he shall go forth with great fury to destroy, and utterly to make away many. And he shall plant the tabernacles of his palace between the seas in the glorious holy mountain.

Revelation 12:40-44

However, the Book of Daniel also says in chapter 12 verse 45 there will be a time when the king of the north shall come to an end and that “none shall help him.”

It is not because nobody wants to help the great nation. Due to the circumstance, it seems that nobody can help the great nation. But what bothers me the most is the following verses.

And I heard, but I understood not: then said I, O my Lord, what shall be the end of these things? And he said, Go thy way, Daniel: for the words are closed up and sealed till the time of the end. Many shall be purified, and made white, and tried, but the wicked shall do wickedly: and none of the wicked shall understand, but the wise shall understand. And from the time that the daily sacrifice shall be taken away, and the abomination that maketh desolate setup, there shall be a thousand two hundred and ninety days. 12 Blessed is he that waiteth, and cometh to the thousand three hundred and five and thirty days.

Revelation 13:8-12

If Daniel did see the future and if the Bible is the prophecy of the world to come, then Covid-19 might be more serious. “The end of all things.” The number 1290 days and 1359 days is dreadful. This means that the antidote that could cure the virus needs another decade or so to be introduced to mankind, which may, in fact, reduce the population of mankind. Then would be the time when Nostradamus prediction might be real, where he prophesized that the following:

There will be a twin year (2020) from which will arise a queen (corona) who will come from the east (China) and who will spread a plague (virus) in the darkness of night, on a country with 7 hills (Italy) and will transform the twilight of men into dust (death), to destroy and ruin the world. It will be the end of the world economy as you know it.  

Then again, historians believed that the world was a big continent because there were artifacts that were discovered in places that were impossible to travel due to seas. And scientist explained that the world was one big piece of the continent that was spread into several pieces due to plate movements. However, I doubt that the world was one. From the very beginning, the world was as it is now- seven continents, where earthquakes were common. Before our world, the world of the past also developed at a rapid speed, and the world was able to communicate and share their culture due to the globalization we now see today. The world of the past and the world of the present and its attempt of globalization is an attempt to restore the great Tower of Babel. The reason why the Tower of Babel had to be destroyed is that humanity not only shares good but when humans gather together they also shared more evil than good. And Covid-19 can also be explained as God’s attempt to keep His people away from one another. It is His Will to protect humanity from doing evil because the more we are distant from one another the less we compare ourselves from one another and the less greed we shall experience. It is His Will to once again disperse all humanity to refrain them from doing evil. And the world shall once again degenerate to its rudiment form. All evil shall vanish once again and the humans shall rejoice in the Garden of Eden as their New Jerusalem until mankind meets another mankind and open its eyes to evil, then all the pain and sorrow of this world shall repeat once more, where this world will need another Christ for salvation and redemption and where this world will meet another fury of God to protect themselves from the great evil. Because in this world there is no such thing as Satan, devil, serpent, or Lucifer. It is all but a fantasy and illusion created by mankind and God's mercy in allowing humans to believe such things exist in this world. Within us there is good but within us is the evil- our own Satan and our own Lucifer. Our very soul and our hearts are the very incarnations of the tree of good and evil as the tree itself the symbol of our state. Furthermore, in the Bible, it says that Lucifer and his followers were banished from heaven. Lucifer and his followers represent mankind. Mankind is Lucifer. It is time not to point at some non-existing devil and blame the devil for the wrongdoing. It is the vile doing of man, the evil that always coexists in all human hearts, which leads mankind to further be exiled from the Garden of Eden. When taking a further step in doing evil, such as committing murder like Cain, the Bible shows us that such beings will not only be perished from the Garden of Eden but they will further have perished from the world they are living as outcasts. It is our choice to make the decision to be good or bad. Nobody could make such a choice. I guess the mechanism is the same as that of Aladdin and the Genie. The God who we serve cannot make someone fall in love with use. Our God cannot kill nor could our God save. God cannot suddenly make the bad into the good as how God cannot suddenly make the good into the bad. God cannot kill nor can He save but He can express His fury and his joy in a way no man could ever understand. Best not to test His Patience nor underestimate or overestimate His Being.

[samanthasroberts]

This reclusive life: what I learned about solitude from my time with hermits

When the chaos of the big city began to drag, Paul Willis wondered if solitude might be the answer. Would his encounters with hermits yield what he wanted?

A few years ago, beset by the same malaise that I suppose afflicts everyone who spends too much time in the bustle and chaos of a big city, I wondered if solitude might be the answer. I began to read about hermits and became obsessed with the idea of meeting one.

As you might imagine, hermits are a difficult sub-group to track down. But I found out about a newsletter run by a couple in the Carolinas aimed at solitaries and, after posting an ad there, began writing to a few.

The correspondences never led anywhere. The closest I got to an actual encounter was with a woman in rural Oregon called Maryann. We planned to meet but at the last minute she got cold feet, writing to say she could not risk letting a stranger visit her “in this crazy age of violence”.

It was winter by then. Desperate to flee the city, I flew to Vegas with a vague plan to hitchhike in to the high deserts of Arizona and New Mexico, which I had heard were good hermit hunting grounds.

In the canyons of central Arizona, in Cleator, an inglorious little town of tin-roofed cabins an hour’s meandering drive west of the interstate, I heard about a man who had lived alone for 20 years guarding a disused silver mine. The next day I walked up the mountain to find him, watching the ground for rattlesnakes as I went.

I had high hopes; I had read accounts of those who had gone alone into the wild and come back laden with deep personal insights. I wasn’t exactly expecting the Buddha, but a minor-league Thoreau would have been nice.

As it was, I met Virgil Snyder. The first thing he asked was if I had brought beers. I had, and for the rest of the day I watched him down them, one after the other at his cabin, a ramshackle place cluttered with old birds’ nests and the bleached skulls of pack rats he had found on the trail.

Virgil’s home in central Arizona. Photograph: Paul Willis

He didn’t understand why I had come. When I told him I was interested in learning about solitude, he looked at me like I had just flown in from Planet Stupid.

“I didn’t come here to prove a point,” he said. “I don’t do this to be unique.”

I wrote down everything he said, poring over my notes at night, searching for some searing insight among his professed hatred of, well, everything, and the litany of insults he had thrown my way. (I was at different times called “a faggot”, “a motherfucker” and, more bizarrely, “a Tootsie Roll”.)

After several visits, I was forced to admit that he was not the mountain sage I had been looking for. He was an angry drunk.

• • •

The idea that those who withdraw from the world accrue great wisdom is an old and powerful one. In Hindu philosophy, all humans ideally mature into hermits. As the Indian guru Sri Ramakrishna put it: “The last part of life’s road has to be walked in single file.”

In the west, the idea has had a profound cultural impact. Peter France explores this in his book Hermits, attributing the creation of monasticism to the example set by the earliest Christian hermits, the Desert Fathers of Egypt.

One of the historical ironies France notes is the way hermits have been sought out for their advice on how to live in society. The Desert Fathers’ thoughts were considered so valuable that a collection of their sayings – known as the Apophthegmata – were written down in the late fourth century. In Russia, 19th-century hermit Startsy Ambrose’s fame drew illustrious visitors like Dostoyevsky, who consulted the hermit several times following the death of his son; their encounters were immortalised in The Brothers Karamazov.

The trend continues today, most notably in the case of the so-called North Pond Hermit. A Maine native, Christopher Knight lived alone in the woods without human contact for 27 years; his story came to light only after he was arrested for a spate of robberies in 2013.

Michael Finkel, the author of the GQ article that brought Knight to wider prominence, was similarly obsessed by the idea that the hermit had some “grand insight” to share from his time in the wilderness. In the piece – reportedly the most-read GQ article ever – Finkel keeps pushing Knight on the subject and at one point it seems like he is about to spill the beans.

“I felt like some great mystic was about to reveal the Meaning of Life,” Finkel writes. Except all Knight has to offer is, “Get enough sleep.”

• • •

The same afternoon that I left Virgil, a Catholic monk I had been corresponding with left a message on my phone to tell me about Doug Monroe, a religious solitary who had been living alone for a decade in New Mexico’s vast Gila Wilderness.

The monk described Doug as an “exceptional soul” and his hermitage as “the real thing”. There was no road or habitation within 10 miles of him and apart from a trip to Albuquerque once a year to restock his supplies, the monk said that he never left the cabin.

Buoyed by the serendipity of the timing I decided to go find him. The route to Doug’s place switched back and forth across a stream gushing with snowmelt.

Doug at home. Photograph: Paul Willis

I was greeted like a long-lost friend. “Boy, it’s such a treat to have ya here,” Doug said in a homely southern accent, fussing over me, feeding me rice and tea.

Unlike Virgil, he understood my interest and tried to convey what the solitary life was like. He described moments when the silence around him was so profound it left him frozen to the spot, afraid that the noise of even one footstep would be deafening.

The desire to be a hermit had first come to him in his mid-20s, he said, but it was not until his late 40s that he finally plucked up the courage. When he first came here he had just $150 in cash and an 80lb pack on his back and trekked out into the forest determined to “entrust my survival to God”. For the first year, he lived in a metre-wide shelter he built below an exposed rock face using slabs of stone and fallen trees.

He eventually built himself a one-room cabin. Compared with the melancholic decay of Virgil’s home, there was a calm order here: all his supplies were arranged neatly around the room. On the shelves were boxes of crackers, bucket-sized tubs of peanut butter, dried milk and grains, tins of tuna and Spam, cocoa and powdered mash.

On the wall were photos of the family of his benefactor – a businessman and devout Catholic – in Albuquerque. On Doug’s annual excursion in town, the benefactor takes him to a wholesaler and buys him yearly supplies with change from $1,000.

Next, Doug took me outside to show me the 6ft-deep well he had built in a small creek. Piping ran from the well to the water tank that sat on raised ground behind the cabin and he had a small generator to power the pump.

As I followed him around, I thought about how Doug’s experience with solitude was nothing like Virgil’s. While Doug’s faith gave his life in the wilderness a structure and a purpose, that was completely absent with Virgil.

Apart from a rudimentary contraption for trapping rainwater, I had seen few clues about how Virgil survived in Arizona. He had hinted at well-wishers bringing him supplies, though when I pried further he refused to be drawn. Perhaps it would have undermined his hermit status, which I think he secretly enjoyed, despite claiming he didn’t care what folk called him.

Doug’s one-room cabin. Photograph: Paul Willis

I had the sense that Doug was genuinely content with the path he had chosen, but there was an eccentricity I saw in him too. He talked non-stop, jumping from one subject to the next without any clear connection. At first I thought he was just excited by my presence but he admitted that it was the same when he was alone. He held imaginary conversations with absent friends, with dead saints, even with the Virgin Mary.

He said his inability to stop talking went back to childhood – he estimated he could have filled an encyclopaedia with all the lines he wrote for talking in class – but it crossed my mind that the solitude might be exaggerating the trait.

Solitude, after all, is known to do strange things to the mind.

• • •

In 1993 the sociologist and caver Maurizio Montalbini broke the record for the longest time spent underground, during a spell in a cavern near Pesaro, Italy. During his isolation, Montalbini began experiencing a slowing down of time. His sleep-wake cycles nearly doubled in length so that when he finally emerged he was convinced only 219 days had passed whereas in fact a year had elapsed.

While there are numerous studies showing the harmful effects of solitary confinement on prisoners, studies of the general public are rarer because of the ethical concerns around subjecting someone to prolonged isolation for the purpose of a clinical trial.

Back in the 1950s, however, Donald O Hebb, a professor of psychology at Montreal’s McGill University, did just this. Hebb had his volunteers spend days, or even weeks, in sound-proof cubicles, deprived of human contact.

After a few hours, the subjects became restless, talking to themselves to break the monotony. Later they grew anxious, highly emotional and their cognitive abilities began to wane as they struggled to complete arithmetic and word association tests. At some point many began having hallucinations, both visual and auditory. One man even hallucinated being shot in the arm and felt the sensation of pain. The subjects became so disturbed that the trial was cut short.

The most notorious example of the mind-distorting effects of solitude is the case of Donald Crowhurst, who took part in a 1968 race to become the first solo sailor to go non-stop around the world. From the race’s outset, Crowhurst ran into problems with his boat and, faced with the prospect of returning home a failure, he sailed aimlessly around the Atlantic while sending back false reports of his position.

Fearing financial ruin and overwhelmed by the scale of the subterfuge, he cut radio contact. His boat was discovered floating in the Sargasso Sea months later. Crowhurst was nowhere to be found, but a 25,000-word diary discovered on board detailed the Englishman’s descent into madness.

During one visit to Virgil, I found the door to his cabin open and Virgil passed out at the table, an empty liquor bottle beside him. Afraid of his reaction if he suddenly came to and found me there, I went outside and knocked hard till he stirred. When he finally emerged he stared at me like I was a ghost.

On Virgil’s property grounds. Photograph: Paul Willis

It was a tense encounter, his mood volatile. One minute he erupted in anger, upsetting beer cans and thrusting a finger in my face, and the next he was crying uncontrollably. At one point he blurted out about a wife and two kids he had been estranged from for nearly 30 years. When his marriage broke down he lived destitute on the streets in Phoenix, he said. His father, who was caretaking another silver mine further down the mountain at the time, found him and brought him back in his pickup. After a few years the old man drank himself to death.

“Big fucking deal!” he said at the story’s close. “What do you care!”

• • •

Among the Apophthegmata is a saying by an unknown hermit: “It is better to live among the crowd and keep a solitary life in your spirit than to live alone with your heart in the crowd.”

In other words, if you go into solitude to get away from something, your troubles will probably follow you. This, I suspect, was Virgil’s story. It was probably my own, too, and I returned to the city unhappy that my hermit encounters had not yielded more. To my disappointment, Virgil and Doug had proved all too human.

There was one aspect of the experience that had surpassed my inflated expectations: the environment where the two men lived. And as I became entrenched once again in city life, it was to the stark beauty of the high desert in winter that my mind kept returning, to the saguaros, dwarf junipers, pinyon pines and magical starlit nights.

In the 1968 race that cost Donald Crowhurst his sanity, another competitor had a very different experience.

French sailor Bernard Moitessier fell utterly in love with life alone at sea. So much so that instead of turning north towards the finishing line in England and possible victory, he dropped out of the race and sailed on to Tahiti.

In his book The Long Way, Moitessier describes sailing one night by a headland with the Milky Way overhead. It occurs to him that were this view only visible once a century, the headland would be thronged with people. But since it can be seen many times a year the inhabitants overlook it.

“And because they could see it almost any night, perhaps they never will,” he writes.

It was a direct encounter with the quiet magnificence of nature that was the real gold I brought back from my wanderings in Arizona and New Mexico. It was probably what I had been looking for all along.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/10/15/this-reclusive-life-what-i-learned-about-solitude-from-my-time-with-hermits/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/10/15/this-reclusive-life-what-i-learned-about-solitude-from-my-time-with-hermits/