#this should probly be on my main but its most relevant to here

[ciphernull]

personal grumbling re: char dev woes

hmmng i keep finding myself lacking something when it comes to developing my characters here. i guess it's like... i miss collaboration?

i'm so used to making characters for tabletop that it feels lonely doing it without other people involved. oc asks are fun and all but i really need someone to just... bounce ideas off, n discuss interactions n themes n parallels and all that good stuff! i really want to like, not necessarily even roleplay (though i do want to get back into that. eventually.) but just create something *with* someone again.

but then this also feeds back into the whole "all my ocs feel half baked" issue because how am i supposed to get someone interested enough to want to actually talk about ocs personally if i can't develop them to the point of being interesting? it's such an annoying feeling.

i know a lot of this is in my head, because i do this all the time! but it's still a Problem for me, even if it's a made up problem. and i don't mean to sound self deprecating about this or anything, m' just a bit frustrated with myself. and maybe a little lonely. idk. bleh.