#this story kind of uh. gets away from the prompts but theyre all there at least a little bit

[drowned-debris]

@dotflowweek Day 7: No Effect, Sabitsuki’s Room, Social Isolation, Rust, Rooftop, Mood Swings

(Note: this story is a direct sequel to what i wrote for my day 6 submission)

…

Is it too late now?

The question sticks in her mind, suffocating her other thoughts until only it remains. In the boredom of rusting away, she’s asked herself the same questions hundreds of times, but… this one is new, and try as she might, Sabitsuki can’t think of a suitable answer.

It’s not like anything is particularly keeping her in her room. Sure, it’s safer, but what’s the point if all she’s doing is just waiting to die? And Rust isn’t contagious, so there’s no real point in quarantining. Her main fear was always being found— but then again, it’s been years now. They likely will have given up searching for her by now.

Even so… can she just leave? Is it really that simple?

Sabitsuki reaches up and pinches her cheek. This would be better to think on in the real world, instead of the Flow’s dirty old sewers.

Her perception warps and reassembles into the familiar image of her room. Quiet, calm. Lonely.

She looks at her reflection in the empty black screen of the computer. Her face looks haggard, her hair unkempt and greasy from months without washing. The light in her eyes dims by the day, as the bags underneath them grow more pronounced. She can see some blotches and stains on her shirt, likely from the occasional spilt food during her bland, lifeless meals.

“Gross…” She mumbles to herself. But, despite that… she knows a lot of people around here go outside looking even worse than this. She’s lucky the Rust has barely manifested externally so far— most of the damage has been internal, so she won’t be causing any screams of terror, at least.

Hold on. What was that thought just now? That’s not right— she hasn’t decided she’s going to go outside yet, just that it’s a possibility.

And yet… she can’t deny that she wants to. It’s not like she has hope for herself, or anything; even if by some miracle a cure for Rust had been found, she wouldn’t hear about it. As far as Sabitsuki is aware, they intend on letting all knowledge that Rust ever existed die with the ones infected by it.

But maybe she can… at least do something before she dies. She still has some time left— the decaying process is a different length for everyone, but she should probably have at least a couple more months in her before she kicks the bucket. Who knows, maybe she’ll even reunite with one of her friends…?

…No, that thought is a little too optimistic for her tastes. She shouldn’t expect much from leaving her apartment— this town will be the same shithole it always has been, and nobody will care about her because she abandoned everyone who did.

Still, there’s no reason not to go and confirm that theory. The only thing there is to stop her is how much effort it feels like; after wasting away in her room for so long, she worries that it might be just too much work for her.

No point in putting it off, though. Her condition is only gonna get worse.

Slowly, Sabitsuki pushes away from her desk and stands up, surveying the room around her. Her gaze passes from her bed, to the rug, to the dusty old TV screen, and finally to the door. Is it really as simple as just… leaving?

Well, only one way to find out.

She steps towards it hesitantly, and extends her hand towards the doorknob. It moves at a snail’s pace, but it moves. After a few seconds of suspense, her fingers make contact. Next thing she knows, she’s wrenching it to the side and pulling with all her might, with a determination she hasn’t felt in years.

It reminds her of when she was fleeing the hospital; that feeling of breaking free from a prison, of doing something with herself. Before the Rust, before the hospital and Oreko and the Parade Ward and all of that, she took her freedom for granted.

Not anymore.

***

The faint tinkle of a music box echoes through the room. Occasionally, it stalls on a note, then skips over the next few to catch up. Seems like the fall it apparently endured harmed it quite a bit. Despite that, the melody remains mostly clear— consistent enough to not be annoying, at least. When he gave it to his sister for safekeeping, he impressed upon her the importance of making sure it didn’t sustain any more damage; when he gives it back to its rightful owner, he wants it to be as pristine as possible.

And he will give it back, Smile thinks to himself. He will. No matter how long it takes to find her.

He stares solemnly at the slightly beaten crank before looking back down at the map on his desk. The paper has a couple of old, faded stains on it from those long nights that he used to drink coffee to stay awake— he’s long since given up doing that ever since he ran out of leads. Some of the areas and buildings on the map have Xs on them; those are the places he can confidently say she isn’t in, but… even after all this time, there aren’t many he’s been able to cross off. If only this fucking town was smaller, he’s sure he’d have found her by now.

Smile has already found every single damn clue Sabitsuki left behind— he located the hospital, interrogated the doctors, solved her escape plan, questioned the witnesses at the Sugar Hole, and more. But it was ultimately useless. None of those led him to her; instead, he just made a lot of enemies he didn’t want to make. He tried to spend as little time as possible in that strange hospital— his gut was telling him that investigating that place, that disease all the patients there were suffering from, would’ve only led to trouble. Even so, he got everything he needed. His original intention by going there was to see if she left anything that would hint to her whereabouts after escaping, but… no such luck. What a waste of time.

The only thing of value he found was the music box. It’s handmade, by the looks of it; the drawings on the sides, though not exactly masterpieces, are definitely meant to resemble Sabitsuki and someone else. He tried to track down its creator or the person featured in the art, but hit a dead end and had to give up. He’s had to give up too many times in this damn search.

At first, he put up missing person posters. He wasn’t expecting there to be any results, and there weren’t— except for every single poster being taken down the next day. Whoever did it only took down the ones of Sabitsuki, leaving the myriad of other disappearance notices untouched. He could’ve reported a missing person to the police, but what little police force exists here is hopelessly corrupt and useless. Besides, he’d rather not risk himself or Sabitsuki by going anywhere near the law.

Smile employs a philosophy of “If you want something done right, do it yourself”. That’s why he decided to start personally investigating her disappearance. In doing so, he uncovered a lot of mysteries— but he doesn’t care about any of them. They won’t lead him to Sabitsuki, so they’re pointless to try to solve.

The music box reaches the end of its song, and he sighs. No use just sitting here. He’ll go take a walk, clear his head a bit. Maybe that’ll help him finally make a breakthrough.

***

Instinctively, she raises her arm to shield her face from the wind. It’s cold and harsh up here, whipping at her like it wants to push her back into her sad little room. But she stands firm against it, and keeps walking forward across the rooftop.

It’s daytime. The sun, though concealed by drab grey clouds, is in the sky. And Sabitsuki is alive.

She steps over to the railing and carefully peers over. The town unfolds below her. She tries to make out the place she used to stay, but it’s too far away to be seen from here. Same with the alleyway that the hospital was in.

Even if this place is ugly, seeing it again after so long makes her undeniably happy. She thinks that maybe she’d rather live the way she used to, uncertain but resilient, taking whatever life throws at her, than spend the rest of her days rotting in that apartment. Nostalgia is a strange thing, huh?

Before she heads back down from the rooftop, she tries to figure out what to do next. No way she’s going back to the hospital, that’s for sure— but she doesn’t remember these streets like she used to, and getting lost around these parts is not something she wants to experience.

…Who is she kidding? There’s only one place to go: Smile’s house. She has no idea what he thinks of her now; whether he hates her for leaving, misses her, or if he’s just gonna act like he didn’t care, the same way he always did back in the day. But she intends to find out. Unfortunately, she’s only been there once, so she can’t remember where exactly it is. That’s fine, though— Sabitsuki thinks that she’ll recognise it if she explores enough. Might take a few hours, but it’s not like she has anything better to do.

Her plan now solidified in her mind, she steps away from the railing and heads back inside the building. No time to lose. She isn’t sure what exactly the time is, but she definitely does not want to still be wandering around in town come nightfall.

Carefully, like she might slip and fall at any moment, she walks down the empty stairway of the apartment building she lives in. Sabitsuki hasn’t come back through here a single time since she arrived that day; but there’s a first time for everything, she thinks.

As she arrives in the lobby, her movement comes to a stop as her eyes meet another person’s.

This… is not what she was expecting.

***

He shivers. The frigid air is cutting deep today— maybe he should’ve worn an extra layer. Whatever, he’ll survive.

His feet carry him along a familiar path through town. He and Sabi used to visit this tiny place, tucked in a little nook a few streets from the school, when they wanted to grab a bite to eat. The food wasn’t the best, but it was warm, and cheap. The two were regulars there, so they got a decent discount, which helped.

Since Sabitsuki’s disappearance, he’s come there a few times, always alone. The first time he went was while he was putting up posters; the guy who runs the place was disturbed to see him go there without her, and jokingly asked whether they’d broken up. Smile chuckled sadly, and responded by asking him if he could put up some of the missing person posters around his shop.

The other times, he would visit if he was in the area and needed some sustenance; though he made sure not to spill any too important secrets, the guy working there was curious to know how the search was going, so Smile would occasionally give updates.

He hasn’t been in a while, though— mostly out of shame for not turning up anything after all this time. Caring for his sister and investigating Sabitsuki’s disappearance is basically his whole life now, but… he’s still managed to mess up. He tries not to be too hard on himself for things outside of his control, but… sometimes the feeling of guilt just gets the better of him. Even when he’s happy or relaxed, it doesn’t take much to flip into a state of constant regret. Maybe if he’d just…

No. He can’t think like that. If he thinks that way, thinks in what-ifs, it’ll consume him from the inside.

Coming to the end of his route, Smile looks at the entrance. He was feeling a bit hungry, anyway— may as well go somewhere familiar.

The little bell at the top of the door chimes as he steps in, enjoying the rush of warm air. Like usual, there’s no other customers; it’s not exactly the most popular place in town for food.

Quickly, the man comes hurrying out of the back room to greet him. His face lights up upon recognising Smile.

“Smile!? Haven’t seen you here in a while! How’ve you been, kid?” The man ushers him into a seat and sits down opposite him.

He shrugs. “Well… haven’t been able to find anything new since last time, unfortunately.”

The cook frowns. “Well, that’s a shame, but… you can’t give up yet! Keep your head held up high, that’s what my pa always told me!” He offers Smile an encouraging grin.

“Right. Don’t worry, I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. Anyway, uh, I’ll have my usual.”

He nods and stands up, heading back behind the counter. “Right away!”

As he cooks, Smile settles into his seat and turns to look out the window. He’s thankful for the positivity, even if he himself isn’t quite feeling it. But he was telling the truth when he said he doesn’t plan on stopping— he’ll find her. No matter what it takes.

Before he knows it, the food is being delivered to his table. As he digs in, he decides to chat with the cook a little.

“So… how’s business been?”

“Business? Business’s been great! Been getting some more customers as of late. Some odd fellows around here these days, but they pay well and don’t cause a fuss, so I’m fine with ‘em, hahaha!” He laughs heartily.

“That’s good to hear. You ever planning on expanding?”

“Expanding, son? No way! As long as I’m getting a good amount of customers, I’m happy to stay as just a cosy little joint.” “That makes sense.” He nods.

“Yeah… I like this part of town! It’s quiet, not as shady as the others. Good place to set up a little homemade business, y’know?” As he finishes speaking, his eyes dart to each side suspiciously and he leans closer to Smile. “Although… there was one weird-looking thing I saw earlier that I just couldn’t make heads or tails of.”

He finishes up his food, and responds. “Oh? What was it?”

The man gestures outside the window, to the street. “Well, I was in the middle of preparing an order earlier, and I happened to look outside… there was a truck driving along the street, normal stuff, but… I could’ve sworn that when I looked inside the window —not on purpose, mind you!— the driver was wearing… a gas mask? And their clothes were like… one of those old-timey maid outfits, you know the ones.”

Smile’s heart stops.

His gaze snaps upward to meet the other man’s, with unbridled intensity in his eyes. His expression is dead serious. “Where. Were they going.”

Shocked at the sudden transformation, the cook stumbles over his words. “Uh, well, I think, um… if I recall, it was… over that way.” He points in a direction. The moment he does so, Smile is gone.

He dashes out of the door without another word, and begins sprinting full speed down the street. If they are here, there must be something very important going on. Even if it isn’t her, it could very well be a new lead.

His muscles scream at him to stop running, but he continues. Even one second could make all the difference right now. He needs to keep going. His footsteps are loud and echo in the empty streets as he desperately sprints through.

It takes about a minute of non stop running, but Smile spots them. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a truck pulled up right outside an apartment building, with people in uniform scattered around facing inside— one of whom is wearing a familiar maid outfit and gas mask.

Carefully, keeping his breathing as steady as possible despite all the exertion he was forcing himself through moments ago, he approaches, trying not to be noticed. They all seem to be focused on whatever’s in the lobby of the building, paying no heed to anything behind them. Smile sneaks behind the truck for cover, then peers around it to take a look as he listens to them talk.

He’ll never forget what he sees there for the rest of his life.

It’s her. Sabitsuki.

He found her.

***

It feels like a sick joke. Like the universe itself is conspiring against her. She finally gathers enough courage to leave her room and face her regrets, and… this is what’s waiting for her. Ready to pull her back down into despair.

Pretty bold of them to do it in broad daylight, she’ll give them that. They must be pretty confident in how powerful they are. Sabitsuki doubts anyone around here is stupid enough to interfere with something like this.

“...What do you want?” She asks, bluntly. Her voice is croaky from disuse.

The Cleaner —she doesn’t know what the proper name for these intimating maids is, but that’s what the patients always called them— takes a step forward from the others and clears their throat. Despite coming from behind a gas mask, their voice is perfectly clear, though somewhat tinny.

“We have come… to collect you.”

She coughs a couple of times, staring down at the floor. “Well… there isn’t much left to collect.” Then she looks back up to meet the gaze behind that eerie mask. “...Why bother, anyway? It’s been… it’s been fucking years.” She isn’t massively confident in that estimate, but it sounds about right.

The maid shakes their head— a slow, deliberate motion. “You carry the Rust within you. It is our duty to contain you.”

“Contain…? You already know it isn’t infectious. What’s the point of doing all that?”

“It is not because of the Rust. It is because of what you know.” They pick up something from behind them; she quickly recognises it as a chainsaw. They must have been prepared to hurt her. “You… are evidence of something that should not be known.”

Sabitsuki carefully eyes the weapon, taking a step backwards. “...That doesn’t look much like a containment procedure to me.”

“Do not resist… and I will not have to use it. But if you’d like… I can grant you a swift death.”

Hell no. Not when the fire of life only just started to burn within her again. Not a chance.

“SABI!”

The yell explodes from behind them, and all of the people jolt in surprise. Sabitsuki feels like that voice is familiar, but she can’t quite place it…

Until the source of the shout comes barreling straight past the Cleaner and into the lobby with them.

Her eyes widen as she instantly recognises him. Standing there, covered in sweat, is the black-haired menace to society himself: Smile.

The maid quickly recovers from their surprise. “Perfect… you’ve saved us the trouble of hunting you down.” 

As much as she wants to talk to him, the time for tearful reunions is later, so Sabitsuki focuses on the situation. She can’t fail, not now. “Him…? What the fuck could you possibly want with him?”

Smile can already guess what he’s done to attract their attention; he was too curious for his own good, and now they intend on punishing him. Tough luck. He’s not dying yet.

“His pointless search for you… became a nuisance… a thorn in our side. He must be disposed of… as must you.” She turns on the chainsaw. Smile inwardly curses himself for not bringing a weapon when he went outside; it’s common sense here, but it seems he got a bit too comfortable. Even so, he’ll find a way.

Sabitsuki gulps, and mentally readies herself. She hasn’t been in a fight since her escape from the hospital, and she’s grown even weaker since then. At least she has an ally this time.

A few seconds of fierce glares pass between them. Then the maid charges forward, and the desperate fight for their lives begins.

The two dive in opposite directions as the first attack comes their way. Sabitsuki jumps to the left, towards the corner of the room, where a long-abandoned receptionist desk sits. How familiar. Smile leaps the other way, towards the door to the stairwell.

The maid frees their chainsaw from the wall, and turns to the tattooed boy. She probably knows that, being healthy, he’s the bigger threat.

Sabitsuki’s eyes dart to the entrance of the lobby. The other people there in front of the truck all seem to be unarmed— if the Cleaner is defeated, they’ll have no choice but to scatter.

Easier said than done, though; first, she needs to get the attention of their attacker. Smile’s not getting killed on her watch.

She scrambles around the desk. She sees a telephone and reaches for it, but then notices it’s cordless. Fuck. There goes that idea. Next to it, though, is a mug— perfect.

She grabs the cup by the handle and, using every ounce of strength in her body, flings it full force at the back of the maid’s head. Should’ve worn a full helmet, dipshit.

“Gah!” The Cleaner hisses in pain as the mug shatters against the back of their skull, and whips around to face Sabitsuki. “...You first, then.”

Okay, mission accomplished. They’re not targeting him anymore… but now she has to deal with them instead.

…She may not have thought this entirely through.

Smile, on the other side of the lobby, sees his opportunity the moment they turn around. No way in hell he’s letting them get Sabi. Darting forward, he grabs at their braided hair and tugs with all his might, preventing them from moving forward.

They grunt in annoyance and swing their body around. Surprised, he doesn’t have time to react, and the braid tears off of the maid. Unable to regain his balance quickly enough, Smile tumbles backwards onto the floor, the disconnected length of hair falling out of reach, and frantically pushes himself away as fast as he can.

The Cleaner takes a couple of steps forward, raising their chainsaw before striking swiftly down towards him. He scrambles back just enough that the slash hits the floor in the space between his legs. This is bad.

Sabitsuki, witnessing this, races up behind them and picks up the braided hair from the floor. This might not work, but it should at least give Smile a moment to get away.

Sprinting towards the maid, she reaches forward and around with the braid, and tugs hard before they can react. Using hair as an improvised garrote was not something she ever expected to do, but neither is anything she’s done in the last few years. As the Cleaner coughs and splutters into their mask, Smile stands up and backs away.

Unfortunately, strangling someone to death takes more strength than she has in her rusted state. The maid’s elbow lunges backwards and strikes Sabitsuki hard in the stomach, forcing her to let go of the hair and stumble away.

Both sides of the battle turn to face each other from opposite sides of the lobby. If a gas mask could make expressions, the two imagine it would be contorted in anger right now.

As they carefully watch each other for movement, Sabitsuki’s eyes flick upwards. There’s exposed pipework running below the ceiling here— lazy on the part of whoever built this place, but useful for her. She nudges Smile, and he notices too.

As she backs away slowly to avoid arousing suspicion, he glares at the Cleaner, putting as much hatred and malice into it as possible.

“What, are you fucking scared?” He taunts. “If you wanna kill me, come and fucking kill me!” He follows it up by spitting at them from across the room.

They take the bait, lifting their black chainsaw and charging at him. As they begin to pick up speed, Sabitsuki makes her move.

She jumps onto the desk, sending various useless items scattering everywhere, then leaps off of it, heading for Smile. He braces himself and leans forward, allowing her to land on his shoulders and keep her momentum long enough to jump off.

The Cleaner sees all this, but can’t do anything to dodge the incoming attack; the weight of the chainsaw carries them forward even when they don’t want to.

After using Smile as a stepping stone, Sabitsuki catches herself on the exposed iron pipe and swings her legs forward. Though she is weak on her own, the momentum has enough force to cause considerable damage— and it does so.

Her feet connect. Gas masks aren’t made to protect from physical attack, so the impact is barely reduced.

“Urgh!” The maid stumbles backwards, clutching at their face. She has no way of knowing, but hopefully she broke something. Sabitsuki quickly rejoins Smile near the desk, not confident enough to go on a full offensive.

The Cleaner moves their arm from their face, and reaches down to rev their chainsaw. The two get ready to dodge, but as the injured maid moves forward, it becomes clear that they aren’t the targets of this attack; rather, the pipes are.

Smile tugs Sabitsuki behind the desk for cover as the Cleaner starts going berserk on the unfortunate piping. Worryingly, the chainsaw cuts through them easily, and nothing comes out of them once destroyed.

“Goddamn, that thing’s strong,” he mutters.

After they’ve gotten their destructive impulse out of the way, they turn their attention back to the two bastards who have caused them so much trouble. Sabitsuki, meanwhile, has thought of another plan— one that might be able to put an end to this fight.

The two split up to avoid an incoming attack; this one slices the desk clean in half. Smile stays near the fallen pieces of the pipe. The longest is around 2 feet in length— definitely a good size to kill with. Meanwhile, Sabitsuki advances on the spot where the braided hair fell. She’s killed a couple of times before, but this will definitely be the weirdest method she’s used.

Smile manages to keep the attention of the Cleaner mostly focused on him; as they engage in a terrifying game of cat & mouse around the room,  she sneaks up behind the distracted maid.

In a split second, she stoops down and uses the braid as a sort of tripwire around their feet. They don’t notice until it’s too late, stumbling over it and falling face first onto the floor.

The moment they trip, Smile darts over to the long pipe and picks it up. The window here is only a few seconds— better make it count.

The Cleaner starts to pick themselves up.

They’re too slow.

He raises the pipe, and…

Crack.

***

All things considered, today could have gone worse.

It’s likely that that won’t be the end of it; the people trying to kill her and Smile aren’t the type to give up after just one defeat. They’ll be back, and they won’t pull any punches next time.

But as she sits here, huddled up beneath a blanket as she sips on warm tea, Sabitsuki finds it hard to care. She’s dying either way— the key, she thinks, is to live without thinking about the future. And besides… it was fun to watch those cowards all drive away in their truck.

“Talk about speaking truth to power, heh…” she mumbles to herself, before taking another sip of her drink. Smile and his sister went to get something for her from the basement; a present, apparently, though she has no clue what it could be.

What’s she going to do after this? Sabitsuki muses on that question while she waits. She already thought about this earlier, but… there’s nowhere for her to go back to. She supposes then, if Smile lets her, she’ll move in here, with him and his sister. It shouldn’t be a difficult transition— she only has a few possessions she’d need to bring over, then she’s all set.

…She’s getting ahead of herself, though. Hell, a few years ago, she’d try to ignore those thoughts entirely— fantasising about moving in with him would’ve been a ridiculous notion back then. But as it turns out, life has a funny way of flipping things around.

Even so, it’s not like he’s agreed to anything. Best not get her hopes up.

The sound of footsteps rouses her from her thoughts, and she looks up to see the pair of misfit siblings returning. Smile is holding something in his hands, but he shifts them to cover it when she tries to discern what it is. What an ass.

His sister eagerly plops down onto a beanbag in the corner of the room, intently watching her brother and Sabitsuki. Just what exactly is she about to be given…?

Smile sits down on the couch next to her, and she raises an eyebrow. “...You sure like to drag things out.”

He sticks his tongue out at her like a kid, and she can’t help but giggle.

“Well…” he says. “I might be wrong about this, but… is this yours, by any chance?” He uncovers the object, and Sabitsuki’s jaw drops.

Sitting there in his hands, slightly beaten but still easily recognisable, is the music box. The one she thought she’d never see again.

“Holy shit…” she says, slowly reaching for it. “I… where did you find this?”

He hands it to her with no resistance, and she cradles it close to her chest as he speaks. “When I was investigating your disappearance, I thought it might be useful to figure out how you escaped the hospital. So I went around collecting evidence, and… that’s when I found this.”

Sabitsuki places it down on the table beside her and admires it. The drawings of her and Oreko, while somewhat scratched, make her heart feel full just as much as they always did. She remembers the day the girl gave this to her like it was yesterday— she was heartbroken when she had to use it for her escape. But, by some miracle… it was recovered.

No. Not because of a miracle— because of Smile.

She looks back at him, bearing an expression of heartfelt gratitude on her face.

“Smile… thank you. You didn’t have to… you didn’t have to do any of this for me. You could’ve just ignored me going missing, but you… thank you. Just… thank you.”

Maybe her vision is getting poorer due to the Rust, but she swears she sees a blush on his face before he turns away. “Well… I did.”

Smile’s sister giggles from the corner of the room. “Hehe… now, kiss!” She puts her fingers together to make the shape of a rectangle, then peers through it with one eye like a camera.

Both of them turn to glare at her simultaneously, and she squeals with laughter. He turns back to Sabitsuki and rolls his eyes, but there’s a hint of a smile touching the corners of his lips.

Sabitsuki thinks that maybe… spending the rest of her life like this doesn’t sound too bad.

[daydreamingintheimpalax]

Unexpected

Prompt: “what happened to your clothes?”  “I think i’m falling in love with you.” “I think ive always known, deep down, i think i’ve always loved you.” 

Dean x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, somewhat detailed sex scene, iunno not much really. 

A/N: Sorry it’s so long, i had this idea and thought it’d be a fun read. Enjoy :)

Dean sat on your bed, mindlessly watching and waiting as you hid in your closet, dress after dress, skirt after skirt flying out, one almost hitting him in the face. He caught it mid air before tossing it down next to him. 

“I don’t know why you’re getting so worked up, its just a few drinks at the bar, Max already knows you, you dont need to impress him, he already likes you.” Dean spoke, watching as you popped out from your closet, three different shirts in your hands.

Dean was your best friend, you had met him and Sam as a child, your fathers had been hunting partners for a few years, always leaving you and the boys at bobby’s to cause trouble for the old man. You could still hear bobby’s voice sometimes, demanding Dean stop influencing you with his schemes. 

His buddy Max had run into him at the bar last week while you guys had stopped in during a hunt and they had caught up for hours, you had connected with Max off the bat, and when he’d asked you out, you were skeptical, see deep down you always knew Dean was your guy, your never ending crush on him had turned into deeper feelings years ago, you tried to deny it for years, and definitely never told him, but when Dean had convinced you to give it a shot, go out on ONE date with a guy he knew and liked, you gave in, never being able to say no to him, i mean, to be fair you hadn’t been with a man in over 2 years and you could use a night out, maybe even some quality time in bed with a good looking guy, plus, Dean trusted him, and that was enough.

“Dean, i haven’t been out with a guy in 2 years, i’m not going out with a guy looking like a swamp monster, first dates are everything, and looking your best can make or break the date.” You huffed, holding out a shirt to him for an opinion, he shook his head, grimacing. 

“First, you never look like a swamp monster, you’re stunning no matter what, you hardly have to work at that, secondly, that’s an old ratty tshirt you stole from me, really?” He pointed at it, now realizing he was right, why the hell you were even suggesting this. It was time to pull out the big guns. You sighed, hiding back into your closet, you had to have something date worthy. 

Dean had popped away, grabbing himself a beer, giving himself a break from outfit advice. You were his best friend and he wanted nothing more than to see you happy, even if it meant trusting Max to take you out on a date. It was one date, it’s not like he was stealing you away forever. He had always had a soft spot for you, you were his first kiss as a kid and he’d looked out for you ever since, and even though he trusted Max, seeing you get all worked up over a guy that wasn’t him still didn’t settle well with him, but he shoved his feelings down and tried to be as supportive as he could. 

He walked back into your room, realizing you were finally working on your makeup, you were slightly bent over your bathroom sink, reaching closer to the mirror as you did your eyeliner, truth be told, he loved when you did that black wing thing, it enhanced your big E/C eyes and drove him nuts everytime. He looked you over, realizing what you finally had chosen to put on, a shorter than he’d like black leather mini skirt, a matching leather shirt thing that looked similar to a bra more than anything. He cleared his throat. 

“What happened to your clothes?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

You finish your eyeliner before walking past him, fetching lipstick out of your little makeup bag before making your way back to your bathroom, “What do you mean? Theyre fine.” You spoke, applying your lipstick as he piped up.

“I mean like, where’s the rest of it?” he sassed and you rolled your eyes as you walked back into the room. “It’s not that bad is it? It’s literally all i can find that isn’t covered in holes, old blood or stained monster guts.” You looked down at yourself, smoothing out your skirt. Dean cleared his throat as he eyed you properly, trying hard to calm his way out of a boner. 

“Uh, no, no i’m just teasing, you look incredible.” He smiled, nodding, you shoot him a innocent smile, “Better, Winchester. Much better, right answer.” You shoot him a small wink and he chuckles. He had come a long way on talking to women because of her, she helped him realize as a teenager and a young man that he didn’t need to be vulgar or gross to pick up women and he’d learned a long time ago thanks to her that chivarly was key.

He watched as she put on her coat, Max waiting by the door to take her out, she gave him a little wave as she told him not to wait up, she’d be fine. 

“Be safe, have fun.” He smiled as she walked out the door, his internal groan coming out of his mouth and he kicked himself for being too scared to ever make a move himself. He’d liked her since they were teenagers, but he was too stubborn to do anything, his fathers voice telling him hunter relationships never worked. 

       ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The night had been a blast so far, you and Max were having a great time chatting, dancing and enjoying each others company at the bar, he was sweet, nice and had a good view on life and hunting. He told you entertaning stories, some even involved moments he and Dean shared as young teenagers hunting together, being boys and trying to get girls, Max pranking Dean. They had a good friendship and you were happy Dean had someone besides you and Sam he could pal around with. 

You had moved to his truck a while ago, the mix of alcohol and pure need affecting you both as you made out like teenagers, the windows began steaming up, it was an unusually warm evening in lebanon and you were thankful you wore this outfit or would have soaked right through it from the heat. 

His hand moved freely on your thigh and you straddled him, his back against the backseat of his pick up with you on his lap, dry humping him like some silly teenage girl who hadn’t had sex yet, you made the first move, desperate to feel a mans touch, it had been so long. 

You yank your top off, nothing but some nipple covers to cover your exposed breasts, Max lets out a soft moan, “Beautiful,” he mumbles while he kisses softly around your skin, he slowly peels off the covers off you and his mouth lands on your nipple and you let out a louder Moan than you want to but it doesn’t seem to bother him. 

Before you know it, your both down to nothing but your underwear, you reach down and pull down his boxers, reaching a hand in and grabbing him and placing him at your entrance, you’re already so turned on you don’t need foreplay tonight, not when you’re this sexually frustrated. 

You sink down on him slowly, and you both moan out, yours comes out as more of a shout, and you begin to move, slowly at first before changing into a soft but faster bounce, he’s making sounds, you know that for fact but you’re so distracted by the feeling of pure pleasure you haven’t felt in so long you aren’t even fully aware of what’s happening, you let out a shout, and before you know what’s happening, it all suddenly just stops.

You come back to reality and notice Max has pushed you off, he’s pulling his pants back on and avoiding your eye. Oh for fuck sakes, you haven’t even came close to your release and Dean set you up with a 2 minute one pump chump. You were going to kick his ass. 

“What’s wrong? are you done already?” you ask, his looks at you, letting out an exasperated huff before licking his lips and shaking his head. “I’m sorry Y/n, i don’t think this is going to work out, besides, you shouldn’t really sleep with a guy if you’re not going to rememember his name.” He scolds, glaring at you before he shoves his shirt on and climbs out the back, you put your skirt and shirt back on, deciding to skip the panties all together.

“Hey! I do remember your name, it’s Max, i’m not stupid!” You yell at him, angry now that he would even suggest that. Max turns to you, glaring, “Oh yeah, then next time maybe you should try screaming my name out and not Dean’s, jesus christ y/n, if you want him that bad just go fuck him, i doubt he’ll say no!” He shouts and you stand frozen. 

“What? Dean?, i didn’t...I don’t-” you stutter, he cuts you off. “It’s kind of obvious y/n, you screamed his name for a reason, you obviously have lingering feelings for him, and im not going to be your pitty fuck.” He sighs, he ushers you into the passenger seat, offering to drive you home in what is the most uncomfortabe, quiet, embrassing drive home ever. 

You slam the bunker door closed, worst date ever. You make your way past Dean and Sam in the library as you try your hardest to avoid them, especially Dean, you were embarassed enough, you didn’t need to face him right now, and you sure as hell hoped Max kept his mouth shut about it too.

“Y/N? That you? “ You hear Dean call out but you avoid answering, flying past them to your room before slamming the door shut. 

Dean’s eyebrows furrow.

“I guess the date didn’t go well then.” Sam speaks out, looking over at Dean. He shrugs, before getting up and walking towards your room

He knocks on the door softly, “Y/n, you okay? did Max do something cause if he did i’ll beat the living crap outta him.” He calls out, he can hear your sniffle, he sighs, before softly opening your door. You’re cuddled up in bed, watching your favorite episode of golden girls as you cry softly. He sighs and heads over, sitting on your bed. 

“Bad date?” He asks and you shrug, “Something like that.” He gives you a soft smile. “Want to talk about it?” He asks and you shake your head. “No, i just wanna forget it.” You speak, he notices you never meet his eye. He nods and agrees to leave it alone, he joins you quietly, watching tv with you but giving you your space. When you finally fall asleep, he goes to bed himself, but not before shooting Max a text. 

“Whatever the fuck you did man, she’s upset, and if i find out you hurt her, i’ll kill you.” 

                                                      ---------

It’s two weeks later when things finally come out, you haven’t spoken to Max since that night of your date. The bar is busier than usual, a few more college kids then there usually is but it is spring break, most of them are probably home for the much needed time away from school work. 

Dean is at the pool tables, hussling some airhead jock out of pool money. You watch and laugh when he heads over to you, cash in hand. 

“Ha ha, stupid brainless jocks. Always so much fun seeing how much of daddy’s money i can get out of them.” He chuckles, setting the money back in his pocket. You roll your eyes but smile. Why did you put up with this dork. 

Before you know it, someone is calling out for Dean. “Yo, Dean!” You both turn to spot Max, waving Dean over for a game. You swallow, nervous that the details of your date will come out, you still weren’t fully over it, and you dreaded Dean ever finding out, he’d never let you live it down and he really didn’t need a bigger ego. Luckily Max hadn’t noticed you yet. 

Dean motions he’ll play one round and be right back and you try to give him a smile, dreading this inside. Just don’t ask him about the date, you interally tell him, even though he’s long gone and can’t hear it. 

You sip your drink, asking for another one and you try to keep your cool at those two being in the same room all of a sudden. 

                                                      -----------

One game had turned into 4 and before you knew it, the two guys had captured a crowd, some betting on Max and some on Dean. It was becoming a friendly competition between the two boys. 

“Aw come on Max, don’t be a sore loser, i’m sure you can come back from that.” Dean teases, watching as Max lines up his next shot. 

“Easy for you to say Winchester, tell me, do you ever get sick of being a pompous prick?” Max winks at him and Dean smiles, “Eh, Sometimes, but then i remember how fun it is to watch you lose and its all worth it.” Dean chuckles, Max suddenly isn’t in a joking mood and he shoots, it goes in, he gets a few more and Dean’s actually surprised. 

“Not bad, man. You’re getting better.” Dean smirks, “Still no match for me though, i always win.” Dean leans in, takes a shot and gets his last three balls in, He lines up with the 8 ball, looks up at Max, and smirks, then his eyes find you, sitting behind Max a few tables down and he shoots you a wink, before sinking in his ball. Game over. 

Max turns around, realizing who Dean winked at, he turns back around, slamming his pool stick down. “Good game, I’m done, guess you won Dean, you got the money, and the one girl i’ve liked in a really long time, guess you always do win, huh?” He spits out, a bitter tinge to his voice. He scoffs and walks away.

Dean’s suddenly confused, what the hell was he talking about. He looks over at you, you’re watching the television over the bar, no clue what had just happened, he follows Max outside catching him before he reaches his truck.

“Hey! I didn’t get anything, if this is about y/n, you screwed that up on your own, okay? I had nothing to do with that!” Dean shouts. Max laughs and turns to face him. “Oh bullshit Dee, you have everything to do with it!” He sneers, “I really liked her man, she was cool, but like always, Dean Winchester always gets the girl!” He scoffs, making Dean frown, confused. 

“Y/n isn’t mine! she’s my friend, whatever you did to piss her off on your date was your problem, she didn’t tell me what you did but if you wanted her that bad, you had the chance to fix it!”

“REALLY DEE? Tell me, how the fuck would you fix the girl you like screaming your best friends name in bed when shes with you? Huh? How the fuck do i fix her thinkng about you while she’s fucking me?” He swallows, “Man, forget it, you wouldn’t understand, god forbid that ever happened to you.” He spits, before he’s in his truck, driving away. Dean’s still standing there, more confused than ever.

He finally makes it back inside, his eyes roaming around for you. He finds you in the same spot, the female bar tender chatting with you and making you laugh. Your eyes find him, beckoning him over and he moves.

He finally reaches you and you smile, “I got you another beer. How did the game go? You disappeared.” You ask, and he stares at you, he finally pipes up, and your heart sinks. Oh no. Please no.

“Max seemed very upset when he saw you, what happened on your date again? Why didn’t you ever go out with him again?” He asks, you take a sip of your beer and shrug. “I dunno, he wasn’t my type, just didn’t work out.” You bite your lip, hoping to god he lets this go, you don’t need to relive that embarassing moment. 

He nods, taking a drink of his own beer, “Okay, so he just wasn’t your type, that’s all? It had nothing to do with you screaming my name in the middle of sex?” He calmly points out and you nearly choke on your beer, spitting beer across the bar table, everyone close by stares at you, you turn red, apologizing and grabbing napkins to clean up your mess. 

You turn and face Dean, “He fucking told you!” Dean raises an eyebrow, “In a not so nice way, so it’s true? You really did?” He smirks and you bury your face in your hands, “Oh god...” You call out and when you look back up Dean’s cheesy grin is staring back at you, “Actually, apparently it’s Oh Dean.”

You throw a nice solid punch into his shoulder before you run out of the bar, “Y/n...y/n wait!” Dean calls out but you’re already half way across the bar and out the door. He throws down some cash and chases after you, catching you half way down the road.

“Y/n...” He calls out, “Just leave me alone Dean, i knew you would use this against me, i knew it. You’re a jerk.” You wipe away a tear, he finally reaches you and grabs your arm, turning you to face him. 

“Hey, i didn’t mean to upset you, i’m sorry, i just, i was surprised, that’s all.” He sighs, “Why didn’t you just tell me? I thought Max was the one who hurt you or something.” He speaks softly and you sniffle. 

“it’s embarassing, i didn’t even know i did it, i was so into it and then he just stopped, for a second i thought he’d already, you know, i was disappointed then we got into an argument about it and he took me home.” You shrugged. 

Dean nodded, he was quiet for a while, and then he spoke, revealing something that made even you question if you were drunk.

“I uh, i guess i wasn’t expecting to hear that, and i guess i got a little excited cause iunno i just, i think i’m falling in love with you, and when Max told me i just uh, i guess i was hopeful that maybe it meant you felt the same.” He swallows before going quiet, watching your reaction carefully. 

You nodded, frowning as you realised you weren’t dreaming, Dean loved you, Dean Winchester loved you.

“I think i’ve always known, Deep down, i think i’ve always loved you.” You shrug, “Every since we shared our first kiss, i think part of me has loved you ever since.” You smile, finally meeting Dean’s eyes, the grin on his face tells you all you need to know, this man is crazy about you, always has been.

“oh yeah?” He smiles, reaching out to grab you, you chuckle, leaning up and placing a slow, deep kiss on his lips.

“Yeah, what can i say, you’re just my type.” You smirk and Dean laughs. 

“Well then, why don’t we get back home and i’ll give you a real reason to scream my name.” He smirks, leaning down quite a bit to place wet warm kisses along your exposed neck. 

“You’re never going to let me live that down are you?” You roll your eyes, he meets them and a sexy grin appears on his face. 

“Not a chance.” 

[zhuhongs]

Here’s my long ass review of TGCF that literally no one asked for it i have opinions and I have no one to tell them too so i must write them out and post them. (also part of this is abt the mdzs novel bc i can’t not compare them and I have a lot of thoughts abt that too)

This is very very long so it’s going under a read more. Spoilers ahead!!

Okay so first off this book was a fucking behemoth i can’t believe i read all of that (minus the extras) in under a week.. what the fuck. I definetly got reading fatigue halfway thru book 3.

I’m gonna separate my thoughts into sections bc i  have a few points that don’t all relate

firstly, overall writing and organization:

I said it earlier but tgcf is a lot more structurally sound than mdzs imo. My biggest criticism of the MDZS novel (minus the bad sex scenes, homophobia, and general I hate mxtxness of it) was the way the flashbacks were presented. 

Like OH MY GOD they were presented so badly. I hated that the flashback was told intermittently and only when one of the characters invoked the past. For example, when WWX meets Jiang Cheng and a second time, Jin Ling distracts JC to release “Mo Xuanyu” bc he saved his life in the Nie Ancestral hall earlier. WWX then proceeds to be the self sacrificing dude he is and take away Jin Ling’s curse and put it on himself. When he escapes and returns to LWJ, LWJ offers to carry him.

 If you watched CQL, you know exactly what LWJ is referring to when he says smth to the effect of “You once offered to carry me too, remember.” HOWEVER in the novel you don’t know what he’s talking about. This is because the flashback wasn’t been revealed to you yet. The next chapter goes to tell the flashback. I think that this takes away all of the emotional depth away from the scene. But in CQL, having the flashback already be known, you make the connection on your own and are like “awww wangji remembers that.. even 16 years later.“ Its a lot sweeter bc you know what the two have gone thru. At this point in the MDZS novel its barely the 30th chapter or so and you have no real idea what wangxian have been thru together or what reasons wangji has for loving wwx. You just think, well obviously they like each other bc this is a danmei novel and they are the two leads, ofc they have to like each other. But in cql, you learn through watching them that they’re in love. It’s not just like”well they have to be!! its a bl!!”

Okay that was a rlly long side tangent but it makes me so angry. So what did any of that have to do with TGCF?? well tgcf doesn’t have this issue. In fact, i believe that it gains a lot from having the flashback withheld from the reader. 

I really liked how the flashbacks were contained to books 2 and 4 respectively because it adds a layer of mystery. Hua Cheng is a very secretive man so it makes sense for us to not know everything about him upfront. The way that the author teases and hints little things at you make you want to know more, making it all the more satisfying when the truth is revealed. Because in a way you Know that Hua Cheng meets Xie Lian before and you know that he’s the child XL saved during the God Pleasing Ceremony but you don’t know all the details. Like obviously since Hua Cheng is a ghost you know that he’s died and it was likely for Xie Lian or Xian le’s sake but you probably never expected that he actually died twice. Once on the battle field and second when he took the human face disease. I think the difference between these flashbacks and the flashbacks in MDZS result from the length. In TGCF you get two long concise flashbacks that make sense to be placed where they are. Book 2 because you already have a feel and hint at what the characters have been through and book 4 because the White No Face appears again so then you learn how he and Xie Lian met before. It wouldn’t make sense to place book 2 any earlier bc there is no emotional impact. And it doesn’t make sense to place book 4 earlier because you don’t know what the white no face’s deal is so it’d be confusing. In MDZS, you get numerous short flashbacks happening alongside the main story and it makes it hard to piece together the timeline in a way that feels satisfying. Ik a lot of ppl grill cql for having a confusing intro episode and having a rlly long flashback but its much better than the mdzs novel. However the mdzs donghua handles the flashback in the most concise way imo.

Overall i think the way the story is structured is very good and is a step up from mdzs. Also the horror aspects of tgcf are rlly enjoyable and honestly i think mxtx should just write short horror stories at this point. like enough long ass novels chock full of fetishization. just write some fun horror with no romance and call it a day.. pls

Side Characters:

okay so straight up, i think the side characters arent used as well as they were in mdzs bc mxtx wanted to focus on hualian and didn’t want to give the side characters as much focus. This is a weaker point of the novel.

I’ll get into it more below but i think hua cheng was done dirty as a character by having him rlly only care abt xie lian. Since he doesn;t have any real relationships with others outside of xie lian this takes away from having more depth in the side characters. They’re really only related as far as xie lian’s relationship with them. Though thankfully xie lian gets rather close with a few officials and the ones we get to see more of are rlly interesting. I especially loved the reconciliation of mu qing, feng xin, and xie lian at the end of book 5. honestly their relationship was one my favorites and i’m glad they finally said what they had to say to each other after 800 fucking years. Also Shi Qingxuan is a delight. we stan sqx in this house.

The characters i wish we had seen more of were yushi huang (although she didnt rlly want to be there, good for her), Quan Yizhen and Yin Yu. I very much wish yizhen and yin yus story happened earlier on and we had more time with them. It felt strange to have their subplot occur towards the end and it was sort of out of place but i liked them a lot!! i wish there was more to it. and that there was a reconcilation but mxtx hates happy shidi’s doesnt she, (glares at novel jc). Also man yin yu did NOT have to die like that i’m sad.

Also, honestly.. i don’t think qi rong added to the story whatsoever and i have no clue why he and guzi were there. qi rong just pissed me off the whole time and added literally nothing.

going back to yushi huang, i’d like to say for the millionth time that i hate how mxtx uses any of her female characters. like we get it.. u hate women being useful... im still pressed but what i want to say has been said many times before so ill leave it at that.

Hualian:

I really really did like hualian at the end. They had a truly epic love story and it was so beautiful, especially when hua cheng repeated his words as wuming to xie lian as he started to disappear. But, I said it once and i’ll say it again. I don’t think Hualian is a super healthy relationship. As fiction its fine (i firmly believe fiction impacts reality but let me finish), i guess bc literally nothing about their situation can be replicated irl and none of it ended up containing manipulation or abuse or anything bad but there was a potential for it to and i’m really glad it didnt go that route.

Hualian is a highly idealized and romanticized relationship full of some truly troubling feelings of self worth. While its “beautiful” in a way that hc really was xls most devoted believer, it wasnt healthy for him to live for xl like this. Nor was it healthy for xl to feel so unworthy of hua chengs love.  

Hua Cheng’s devotion to Xie Lian is a little too extreme and it bothers me. When the truth was revealed abt the Temple of 10,000 Gods I had the same reaction as Mu Qing and Feng Xin. I was like... HEY WHAT THE FUCKK that’s a little uh... thats NOT HEALTHY,, dianxia PLEASE say smth. But ofc Xie Lian didn’t say fucking anything and and i was so pissed. Like the whole thing of Hua Cheng living his life solely for XIe Lian is really kinda fucked up and not romantic. I was holding out hope that at some point XIe Lian would sit him down and be like “Hey! I love you and i’m really grateful that all these years you’ve still believed in me when no one else did. But you can’t just live your life for my sake. You deserve love from many other other people and deserve to have a life and happiness outside of me. I still want to spend the rest of my life with you, but you need to not only think of me.” or something to that effect

It bothers me that after Xie Lian learns the truth he doesn’t once reassure Hua Cheng that he didn’t have to make Xie Lian his reason for existence. Like.. idk i just think that’s rlly kinda unhealthy. Like I understand why Hua Cheng is so deeply devoted to Xie Lian-- he saved his life twice and was the only one to ever show him kindness and he’s seen xie lian suffer a fate worse than death multiple times. I get that he wants to protect him and make his life easier, but to not let anyone else into his life and spend 800 years looking for xie lian is just overkill. Like if the whole 10k statues thing never happened i’d be 100 percent fine with hualin but the whole devotion to that extent... uhhh yea.. no that put a bad taste in my mouth. Obsession should not be romanticised. I don’t think any reader of tgcf is going out and deciding to live like hua cheng obviously but still.

Also Side note, the whole 100 swords scene.. bro i felt for hua cheng, the way he screamed seeing that, i don’t blame him. I was so horrified reading that chapter. i don’t think i’ve been so horrified by a piece of media like that in a while. Poor fucking xie lian.. oh my god. I understand the intense reaction he had and how seeing that prompted such a degree of loyalty but still.. 10k statues?? the cave that mu qing and feng xin saw... thats a little too much obssession... like please.. dial it back.. im begging u.

I was talking to mary (liviahyes) and she said smth abt how Hua Cheng doesn’t have a character outside of xie lian. And she’s right, he kinda doesn’t. If Xie Lian didn’t exist neither would Hua Cheng. I get that that counds kinda romantic but in practice i don’t think its a good things. Especially because Xie Lian has a story outside of Hua Cheng, hehas goals, he has friends, he has something. Hua Cheng said it-- his only dream is Xie Lian. Which is romantic but very very unbalanced. 

THAT BEING SAID, i still rly liked their relationship and i think theyre cute they just have issues they need to work through. I mean they have time but yea. It wasn’t perfect but eh. overall i’m bitter bc they couldve been THAT COUPLE but theyre so many bad implications as mentioned above and i.. smh. They still have amazing moments. Like the lantern scene, the alter scene, the “what matters is you, not the state of you”, the end when hua cheng helps release the shackles on xie lian, the scene where hua cheng disappears, the way xie lian waited for him, like they were so close to being THAT COUPLE but then mxtx and her fujo ass just had to make it uncomfortable like that. i’m so bitter. Like the reason why i wrote out all of this is bc this novel could’ve been great but so many little things added up and made the experience far more sour than it shouldve been.

MXTX did hua cheng SO DIRTY by not giving him a character much outside of loving xie lian and being good at everything. Like when I first learned abt how Hua Cheng beat 33 heavenly officials at what they excel in best i was like WHO IS THIS LEGEND but honestly.. he rlly doesn’t have any motivations outside of helping xie lian and I wish he had more to him . Like if we had more situations like the one where hua cheng dug out his own eye to save the group of mortals on mount tong’lu then he’d have been a much more well rounded character. Honestly, that’s rlly the only instance where he seems to have taken xie lians ideals to heart. I wish we had more of that bc that scene was so cool. i wish it hadn’t been revealled so late and there was more than one occasion where he defends others (minus xie lian ofc) without anything for himself to gain that.

To contrast hualian with wangxian, i think wangxian work so well bc at their core, they have the same life goals and same ideas about people and the world. Where in hualian, xie lian has core principles and morals and hua cheng is just like, anything for xie lian. SMH they couldve been great but overall i think hualian falls flat for me because of my own fear of dating someone who doesn’t have a life outside of dating me. Moreso, my parents had this sort of unbalanced relationship towards the end of their marriage and it ended very badly and yea, i just can’t whole heartedly love relationships that in any way resemble this, even if it ends differently. that’s a personal thing tho.

I don’t think Hua Cheng has ANY bad intentions towards Xie Lian or ever will. I don’t think he’s ever manipulated xl or tried to force him to love him. But again, it’s my own personal feelings that makes me feel kinda.. ehh conflicted abt hualian. There was potential but again.. fujoshis ruin everything... smh. Overall i think the way it ended redeemed the issues it had but still there were issues and i really wish xie lian like,, reassured hua cheng about living his life freely at some point but whatever. 

IN CONCLUSION

TGCF had the potential to be better than mdzs, it rlly did but it was bogged down by the authors own toxic mentalities abt love, and mlm relationships, and treating women like ppl and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I enjoyed this book, truly i did (otherwise i wouldn’t have stuck through and read 750k words of it) but there are some flaws that cannot be glossed over. I hope that tgcf when it does get adapted, goes through the same miracle that cql did and makes the characters more like ppl and less like tropes but i doubt it. Also i highly doubt that a live action tgcf is feasible given the supernatural aspects of the series but we shall see. I’m excited for the donghua when it eventual comes out but i will continue to be critical of the novel bc..well.. you see why. idk if i’d reccommend this book tbh bc like yes i would, no i would... well.. </3. yea. overall, it sure was something that i enjoyed in spades. especially the last 5 chapters. I generally liked it but had many issues with it at the same time, but honestly, yea thats the standard fair for a mxtx novel. 

[fueledbysprite]

abandoned wips masterlist

so not too long ago i did an insta poll asking if i should expose all my abandoned fic drafts cause i mean it’s not like theyre ever gonna see the light of day otherwise. i was going to do it when i hit 3k kudos on ao3 and i did so i suppose it has come time for me to expose my mistakes

for obvious reasons, don’t repost these (idk why anyone would lol) but if you really like one of these and want to see it continued, just hit up my ask box and i may or may not consider~

Miscellaneous Fandoms:

Ninjago: Zephyr - a Morro backstory fic bc the hageman bros refuse to feed me more content of my son. barely started it but yknow its there

Miraculous Ladybug/BoBoiBoy: this failed attempt at a fanginette fic bc @secretagentspydetectiveninja got me invested even tho writers block is a binch hahshs

BoBoiBoy:

kokotiam gang angst that reminded me i cannot for the life of me write emotional angst (or any angst for that matter oop)

ramenzo (and kaifang) angst that i churned out on a saturday afternoon on a writing spike instead of doing homework bc I Do Not Control the Writing Juice

au where bbb is a forest guardian(?) and fang just wants away from Society (same fang same) i will probably be yearning for woodland aus till the day i die bc who *doesnt* wanna ditch everything and go live in the middle of the woods amirite?

ramenzo n boifang water fight bc you cant convince me these idiots dont get up to ridiculous shenanigans on their downtime

abandoned draft for the sequel to the og ramenzo fic (dont bother reading it literally nothing happens i swear)

i literally don’t remember where i was going with this i think it was supposed to be fang introspection but idk??

uhh kaifang with ramenzo vibes i think this was gonna be? i genuinely don’t remember anymore oop-

RAMENZO IN QUARANTINE yes this one was regular au (i mean duh) and it’s a shame i never ended up finishing it-

i am actually goboifang t r a s h...until i realized im going to have to make all the food by myself and i never learned to make food :’)) (fr if anyone provides me with any kind of fanon gbf content i will love you forever pls)

this...exists even tho i honestly prefer it didnt but ramenzo is ramenzo n ramen has freckles i will fite u on this (dont read it pls)

if anyone wants ramenzo crumbs (and i mean that quite practically) then feel free to consume the Specks

dont read this pls im begging just dont lets yeet it into the void it doesnt exist~ I Do Not See It

update: i discovered this uhh kaifang post-bora ra incident thing in my other drive

Miraculous Ladybug:

okay forewarning there are wayyyy too many of these so im skipping the ones that are sequels/dependent on other fics for context just to spare myself from having to sort through this mountain

i was planning to participate in chlonath week 2k19 (unfortunately for chlonath nation I Do Not Control the Hyperfixation oop) if you want context then ask

marcnath crumbs thats it thats the doc

oh look allya is self projecting again (writing is still pain) (marcnath)

for the one who requested chloenette with the dialogue prompt i am so sorry

idk why this feels like something ive posted before but then again all lovesquare is the same to me (dead) so who knows im not gonna bother checking hshsh (marichat)

chlonath go to comic con or sth idk chloe is tsundere as always (or would have been anyway if i ever ended up Finishing this)

i *think* this was based on a @terrible-miraculous-ladybug-aus post but heck if i remember now- (lukanette??)

i have absolutely no recollection as to where i was going with this but if anyone finds the concept interesting then by all means go ahead n snatch it- (manon finds the miraculous i guess?)

this is a great. opening. to a chloe fic. that doesnt exist. oof :,)

caline bustier’s home for orphans amirite (i mean she basically already adopted the whole class so)

im genuinely not a fan of the jealous!lover trope but someone in the marcnath server wanted some at one point so i. attempted. and failed but you know thats to be expected at this point :’3

oh look allya is projecting her writing struggles onto marc again is anyone surprised?

theres probably a museum brotp story in here but it doesnt exist and at this point it never will rip

oh good lord not this again i genuinely managed to forget about it for a while until now-

i just read the first line and im already reeling what the heck is this nathanette(??)

WHY IS THERE MARICHAT IN MY WIP FOLDER WHAT

allya stop projecting onto emo weebs challenge failed

i really wanna know where the context for chlonath skiing trip came from i literally have 0 recollection of this at all??

YO I ACTUALLY REMEMBER THE CONTEXT FOR THIS ONE anyway nath n aroace!alix arranged marriage au anyone?? well too bad cause i abandoned it oop-

ahahahahahahaha wdym i wrote 7k of chlonath and then ditched it i would never do that lmao-

i think this was a hunger games au uh

something something marcnath

marcnath angst i guess? *allya pls stop trying to write angst we’ve already established that is not a thing you can do*

something something chlonath

im never gonna forgive @powerdragonmoon for the fact that i thought “beecock” while glancing over this to figure out wth was going on. cholaon works here too tho so that is what i shall call it //sideways glare at moon

take your otp. now put them on a trampoline. but heaven forbid you ever finish the fic- (chlonath if it wasnt obvious)

nathanette doll au from forever ago with @lotus-duckies that was a real concept its a shame i have 0 commitment

i wanna call this lukanathanette but i honestly don’t remember where i was going with it so idk

hi uhm what is this and why is it so depressing allya fr quit self projecting on emo tomatoes oml

chlonath established relationship i guess??

museum brotp go skating?? is that what this is?

how much chlonath do i hAVE also chloe u tsundere

nathaniel is Yearning n tbh i dont blame him cause same (ft. marc)

i could swear this was gonna be luklonath (chlolukanath??) but i wouldnt be able to remember-

if anyone can figure out what’s going on with marc pls tell me bc i dont-

cholaon but theres no context

Oh god im finally done good lord that’s all of em i hope i never have to look at a mlb doc again in my life anyway pls be grateful n enjoy the crumbs n stuff thanks i sacrificed my sanity for this-

[hollyhomburg]

Ok so here's the thing..... you did NOT have to slap me in the face with pt 3 of fire and love like that😐😐😐 ma'am. Let's break down the prime points in which i was so soft for hobi that i could have melted. Case 1: this baby scenting reader and jk because he has adopted them as his new family even though they are human and humans killed his kin. He still has a kind heart. Case 2: hobi making them a necklace of his scales.... do i even need to elaborate uh i think not! *chefs kiss* FLUFF!

Case 3: jk & hobi being the opposite of one another is every way shape & form. Theyre like a mixed match pattern puzzle piece of one another. Case 4:jk being a strong (basically) lil brother to hobi, helping him feel safe & shift in front of the council. Let's talk about reader cuz she's wonderful. She may not fit into yoongi's world but she tries her damn best to provide for all her boys. Hobi could have easily rejected her jk & yoongi. Been too traumatized but she did what she could for him

He didn't have to accept them (that would have been an interesting story route if you chose to write it that way. ) but hobi opens up to her and she treats him like she does everyone else. With kindness and decency. In the end i charge hollybean for the crime of hitting me severe fluff (even though I asked for it 😂😂🤦🏾‍♀️). It waa an amazing update keep up the good work!

Oh last thing Someone get jimin some clothes he is going to scare and scar the children 😂😂. That end scene was hilarious

hobi’s heart is so so big and rest assured once he’s found his new people he’s never letting go~ not going to lie~ most of the nightmares hobi has now a days start out from that night- his parents getting hurt and slowly, he starts to see his parents faces change from theirs to yours and yoongis, and suddenly, yoongi’s got arrows sticking out of his back and your long hair gets matted with blood, and he wakes- wondering if thats gonna happen again- just like- hobi is very very worried about the saftey of his new family, and yoongi is such a protector, he ends up becoming hobi’s role model, cuz he wants to be strong like him and a good provider, even if he has a long way to go before he learns to be brave

rest assured there is a moment in the next part where hoseok starts crying and is all like “mom, i was so scared, i was just- frozen and it wasn’t until jungkook [redacted for spoilers] that i moved- I’m so ashamed, im a coward,”

 and the reader just combs through his hair from where he’s sprawled across her lap and she just hums and says “true bravery is a fickle thing hoseok, and it dosent come from the people who aren’t afraid of anything~ life would be short if we weren’t afraid, fear is there to teach us what’s safe and what isn’t. it's being scared,  but acting anyway and confronting the fear head-on that makes you truly brave, and I’m so proud of you for being so brave baby bird, so so proud” 

i think you’ll all really like hoseoks sweet metamorphosis that happens, and i hope i didn’t give anything too major away with that little snippet

[wickedsingularity]

Fine. I’ll Kiss You, Doctor. [drabble]

wickedsingularity’s Christmas Stories 2018 Masterlist

Fandom: Star Trek Pairings/characters: Leonard McCoy x reader (but not really), Nyota Uhura-cameo, mention of Jim Kirk and Spock Words: 1245 Warnings: Kissing, grumpiness, mention of the Kamraazite flu, insults

Prompt/summary: Prompt/idea given me by @iguess-theyre-mymess​. New Year’s Eve on Archer IV. Everyone is obsessed with the old Earth tradition of kissing someone at midnight. I don’t really wanna kiss any of these people, but that grumpy doctor happens to stand next to me at midnight, so why not.

This kissing someone at midnight was a stupid tradition better left in the past. But I still looked around the room for the millionth time, wondering if there was anyone I'd like to kiss. And there were still none. If I had to, just to kiss someone, I'd take Jim, the lesser of all evils, but he was engaged to one of my friends, and was most likely going to kiss her.

I swivelled my chair back around to face the bar and a glass of Saurian brandy. I lifted the glass to my lips and took a long sip, feeling the burn down my throat. Impromptu shore leave on Archer IV was nice, but I'd rather be out there continuing the study of the animal life that I'd only read about at the Academy. There were some nocturnal marsupials here that I could be looking up right now.

The reason we were orbiting Archer IV wasn't really shore-leave, but the Captain had some diplomatic thing or other to attend, and we were changing some crew members around. It so happened to be Earth's New Year's Eve during this time, and the Chief Medical Officer had made the Captain grant shore leave for two days.

"Lieutenant," a gruff voice suddenly said.

I looked to my left and saw the very same Chief Medical Officer that had requested this little respite. "Doctor." I was not exactly on good terms with Doctor Leonard McCoy. My first week on Enterprise, I had unknowingly brought Kamaraazite flu onboard, infecting a large number of the crew before the good doctor managed to get it under control. That didn't exactly earn me any stars in his book.

"Enjoying the party?" he asked and signalled for the Betazoid bartender to fill up his glass.

I eyed him sideways. Doctor McCoy making small talk with me? What if I gave him some nasty disease? He, of course, had also caught the Kamaraazite flu from me. "It's okay. The drink is good."

He made a sound of agreement. The bartender filled up his glass, and McCoy nodded in thanks before swallowing down half the contents. "The drink is good," he mirrored.

"I thought you'd have more fun," I said. "Weren't you the one who requested we get shore leave?"

"Who says I'm not having fun?" he snapped as if I'd insulted his mother, grandmother and great-grandmother all at once.

"Excuse me then." I turned my head away from him and looked down the bar. Uhura was there, ordering a few drinks.

"Midnight soon," she said and winked.

I nodded and forced a smile. "Give Spock my best." This obsession with kissing someone at midnight was ridiculous. Humanity had outgrown a lot of its weaknesses, but in my opinion, there were a few things left to work on.

As if he had read my mind, McCoy spoke on my other side again. "You got someone to kiss at midnight?"

I resisted raising my eyebrows. That was none of his business! "Haven't found anyone up to my standards," I replied and rolled the brandy around in my glass.

McCoy just grunted and checked his comm. "Ten minutes left. Better hurry up and lower your standards."

"Do you have someone to kiss?" I turned fully to him now, getting a little annoyed at how extra grumpy he was and how he dared let it out on me.

"None of your business if I do," he said, but I noticed that his eyes dropped to my lips for a split second.

I snorted in a very unladylike fashion and finished my Saurian brandy. "Well, you'll be pleased to know that even if I remove my standards altogether, I still wouldn't kiss you. Besides, you might catch another flu from me."

"Very careless of you to bring that goddamn flu onboard."

"I had a complete physical before I beamed up," I defended and swung around to face the room. "Not my fault that Martian Colony 3 doctor didn't find it."

"If you'd come straight to sickbay for your physical when you came onboard, I could have limited the outbreak."

"There is no regulation that says I have to go straight to sickbay after finishing a physical just four hours before I beam up from a Federation planet."

McCoy gritted his teeth, the muscles in his temples almost vibrating. "My god, you are infuriating," he muttered. "Just like Jim."

"I heard that."

"Good."

I wanted to refill my brandy and throw it in his face, but even if this was an off-duty event and the Captain was past just tipsy, judging from the way he had his hands all over his fiancé, I was pretty sure Jim would have my head for insubordination.

"One minute to midnight," someone shouted from somewhere.

"Find anyone yet?" McCoy asked. He too was glancing around the room.

"If you keep asking me if I have anyone to kiss, I'll start to think you want me to kiss you," I snapped.

His head whirled around. "When pigs can fly."

"Thirty seconds to midnight!"

"Harry Mudd has a ship that can fly."

McCoy's eyes widened, and the corner of his lips twitched. He chewed on the inside of his chin, and I couldn't believe I had made the grumpy Chief Medical Officer struggle not to laugh.

"Ten! Nine! Eight!" People began counting down, more and more voices joining each second.

McCoy still looked at me, the repressed laughter leaving his face.

"Seven! Six!"

His face moved closer to mine, and I didn't back away.

"Five! Four! Three!"

One of his hands moved to the back of my head and he licked his lips.

"Two!"

I could smell the bourbon on his breath.

"One!"

His lips caught mine.

"Happy New Year!" There were shouts and whoops and whistles, but I barely noticed.

McCoy moved his lips against mine, his other hand coming up to cradle my face. I straightened up a bit on my seat, pressing harder against him and he took a step closer. My hands moved to his waist, grabbing fistfuls of the white shirt to keep him close.

All around us, people went back to drinking and dancing and talking. But I pulled away only long enough to draw a breath and then pulled on McCoy's shirt for another kiss. My entire body felt like I had drowned in Saurian brandy, it burned and tickled. He tasted just like bourbon and I don't know what kind he had been drinking, but I'm pretty sure I was getting second-hand drunk from him.

He was the one who pulled back to breathe now, letting go of me and taking a step back. His eyes opened slowly, his skin looking a little flushed. "That uhm... Well."

"Uh-huh."

He turned around and leaned his elbows on the bar and grabbed his half-empty glass, swivelling the liquid around, but not drinking any. I turned to face the same direction. The silence between us was awkward, but there were a million thoughts running through my mind, or one thought in a million copies, I couldn't be sure.

That had been very unexpected. But not unpleasant. "I'd like to do that again," I admitted.

He breathed deeply through his nose, then swallowed the contents of his glass in one large gulp. "Let's go," he said and held out his hand.

Without hesitating, I grabbed it and let him lead me out from the New Year's Eve party, to wherever he wanted.

Permanent tags: @imamotherfuckingstar-lord @geeksareunique @iguess-theyre-mymess @neeadinghugs @earinafae @mattmurdocksgirl @joulien @imaginesofdreams @brewsthespirit-blog @lemonlime799 @reading-in-moonlight Star Trek tags: @feelmyroarrrr @somethingwitty-somethingsweet

Tag lists are open! Just send an ask, DM, reply, reblog or anything you want to let me know!

[rimurutempest-bounced]

questions for neurodivergent folks ( from @shitborderlinesdo )

post here!

if ur autistic:

1. do you stim?

yes, sometimes! i’ve suppressed a lot of it over time but i still do some subtly.

 if so, what are yr favourite stims? 

touching/tapping the tips of my fingers together, stroking soft patches of skin(esp backs of my hands, wrists, or parts of my thighs, hips, ankles), cracking knuckles, stretching fingers/feet/arms/legs rly far, rapid blinking(though i also have a tic involving blinking which is similar, but involuntary), bubble wrap,flicking light switches/door lock mechanisms, bouncing on toes, toewalking, chewing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(esp pens/pen caps and similar textures), biting, mouthing/lipping things, clacking my teeth lightly, whistling, leg jiggle sometimes, jumping, skipping, hopping, and a few other rly specific things (like involving swimming, or being on something and hanging so im upside down and stuff)

2. happy stims? chewing, biting, skin stroking, finger tapping, skipping, hopping, jumping 3. negative stims? snapping fingers, “hiccuping” (it’s a little giggle/hiccup type thing i do, but idk what to call it), teeth clacking, leg jiggle, exposing too long to extreme cold temps, hitting head against things 4. favourite textures? idk how to explain the soft-smooth i like; silk usually looks like it should feel like this, but it doesn't. also when people talk about “plush velvet” the texture that comes to mind is good, like a really nice stuffed animal or a cavalier king charles spaniel with super soft fur, but real velvet feels bad lol. also just most fur in general, esp rabbit, cat, certain dogs. some wing or chest feathers on birds like doves. milk weed fluff. soft, squishy, fuzzy caterpillars(not the bristly guard hair ones. more like forest tent caterpillars), moon jellies, soft leather/suede, really smooth grey granite, polished shiny pink granite, lambs ear/mullein 5. least favourite textures? some types of linen are VERY BAD but idk what they are, they’re like stiff and scratchy and feel super cold? gummy bears, ew. really hard chocolate in cold ice cream, a lot of faux furs, like so many, most (sheep)wool, scallops, often times chinchilla fur feels bad, most velvet, esp crushed velvet, potato sacks, a lot of plastic bags/thin plastic film 6. what's a pet peeve of urs involving a specific sound? squeaky plastic is the worst, esp from plastic wrap. teeth grinding/bruxing is bad, hearing people having sex in another room/apt, heavy footsteps/stomping, esp when fast like running, door slamming, when people slam their hands on a table because they just thought of something, the sound quality of like...having water in your ears/popped ear drums, where everything feels muffled and almost whispery/far away, but also REALLY LOUD AND CLOSE... 7. a specific sound that makes you Really Happy? al snoring softly like a cat, my cat snoring, cats purring, crackling fires, wind whistling, waves lapping, thunder rumbling, THUNDER CRACKING, wood creaking in a strong wind, that soft snuffling of cat/dog noses, the sound of rodents digging in bedding or eating millet, angel caller bells(bola, fairy callers, whatever you call them) 8. when were you diagnosed (self or professionally)? about 6 years ago what has changed with the diagnosis? i dont hate myself for as much of my behaviours/thinking/speech patterns. im slowly trying to let myself let go of “survival mode” NT behaviours i was forced to learn 9. are there any behaviours you have that, prior to diagnosis, didnt make much sense, but now they do? too many to list lmao 10. what kind of representation would you like to see of autistic ppl in media? girls, trans folks, autistics of colour, just less cis white boy perfect example savants. autistics with “atypical” autistic symptoms. autistics with ugly meltdowns and other unpleasant symptoms. autistics who are messy eaters, who can’t dress themselves, who struggle with everyday tasks and self care. autistics with “useless” special interests that cant be reworked to make them more productive genius types. LOUD autistics.  

if ur mentally ill:

11.when were you diagnosed (self or professional)?

6 yrs old or younger

12. what is your diagnosis/are your diagnoses?

BPD, (various types of)depression, DPD/social anxiety(when i’m alone)/agoraphobia, panic disorder NOS, mood disorder NOS, DID, ADD/ADHD-PI, ASD, gender dysphoria at one point, conduct disorder or whatever it was called. IED. all i can think of. all diagnosed professionally over the years, though ASD is not on any official records because i asked it to be left off to avoid that specific abuse/stigma.

13. is the community youve found with other mentally ill ppl helpful?

mostly no. but in some ways, yes. i appreciate having more access to info, hearing relatable stories, common symptoms/experiences that help me understand things better, etc. close friends with illnesses/disorders are nice, but mostly i know them for other reasons outside of diagnoses.

14. do you find it challenging to tell ppl yr mentally ill?

absolutely

15. what are the most effective coping mechanisms youve found?

im not sure. i just...cope? somehow? not always effectively, but idk.

16. have you ever been to therapy?

ya

if yes, what helped and what didnt help?

i hate group therapy. in individual therapy, i like having my husband sit in on the sessions for support. therapist NEEDS to prompt me and ask active and specific questions. setting clear goals with clear steps helps. a lot of more “creative” methods actually are super unhelpful for me.

17. do "find your happy place" exercises help you or no?

sort of? i don’t try them much. usually they make me sadder that im not there.

18. what are some of the most Tiresome Cliches ppl tell you to deal with yr mental illness (i.e., "just do yoga!")? 

“everyone gets depressed”, “yoga”, “fresh air, sunlight, and exercise!”, “essential oils”, “meditation”, “_______ diet/supplement”, “mind over matter”, “lose some weight” (THIS DOES NOT MEAN NONE OF THESE CAN BE HELPFUL AND I DO WANT TO DO SOME OF THESE THINGS, BUT STATING THE OBVIOUS ABOUT THIS SHIT AND BEING CONDESCENDING IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING)

19. what books / movies have really helped u?

none in this regard

20. what kind of representation would u like to see of mentally ill ppl in media?

idk. better. sympathetic without condescentding, infantilising, or demonising. sympathetic recovery stories, showing a happy ending, but not some “theyre cured” BS

if ur chronically ill:

21. when were you diagnosed (self or professionally)?

asthma - like 4 yrs old, tendonitis - like 13 yrs old, unspecified pain/inflammation - 2019 professionally (like 2011 ish on my own, but really it started when i was ~13), nocturnal epilepsy - not done with diagnosis process/testing as of july 2019, a few chronic infections that don’t affect me any more were diagnosed when i was a kid, idk

22. do you find the support system with other similarly affected ppl to be helpful?

i’ve not been involved much, tried it out, really

23. what do you struggle w most on a daily basis?

pain/inflammation/stiffness in joints, back, neck, shoulders, feet

24. what helps you most?

i wanna say sleep, but it actually makes everything worse so, new diet(anti inflammation), making goals/plans, spirituality, going to healing places like the woods or by the sea or mountains, massage, soft comforting petting from my husband

25. what do you want to tell able-bodied and neurotypical ppl in regards to chronic illness?

it’s not the same. yeah maybe “everyone has back pain”, but my pain and your pain are different; they happen for different reasons and they affect us in different ways. if everyone is in pain we should do something to make life easier for everyone, not dismiss people who are suffering.

26. how do u keep your strength on a daily basis? i dont

27. if yr family supportive?

mostly yeah?

if not, who do you find the most strength and support in, outside of yourself?

my husband, regardless

28. what kind of representation would you like to see of chronically ill ppl in media?

show me people who find creative, easy, free/cheap ways to be comfortable/improve symptoms. do not fucking cure them to make them happy. let them be happy and comfortable by finding new ways to do things, no by erasing their obstacles.

if u have bpd:

29. when were u diagnosed (self or professionally)?

2014, i think? though it was suggested by a therapist in like 2008 or 2009

30. do you think the support system in the community is helpful?

no

31. what are some of the ways you keep yrself grounded and remind yrself to Take a Step Back when bad feelings get in the way of rational thinking?

remind myself other people have autonomy, think about how i would feel if someone reacted to things i was doing the way my brain wants to impulsively react to them, talk talk talk, find something else to do as distraction

32. coping skills?

idfk what they are, they’re just there. usually.

33. how do u keep yrself in check when impulsive mood swings come around?

uh, mostly i covered this in 31. gotta reset focus on something else, find distraction that produces different emotions until mood passes

34. what skills do you use to remind yourself that you are loved?

husband. doesnt always work, but mostly.

35. who has been the most supportive of u?

husband.

36. how has your diagnosis changed the way you view yrself and yr interactions w other ppl?

more mindful of others feelings and needs, esp my mum with BPD

37. what kind of representation would you like to see of ppl w bpd in media?

not fucking abusive/manipulative or miserable. let us struggle but have great supports and practice effective coping skills so we can build stronger relationship bonds and enjoy socializing and/or things that are personally important

all ppl:

38. how do you deal w ableism that comes at you from all directions?

laugh about it with my friends i guess?

39. who in your life is the most supportive of u and yr recovery?

husband

40. who are some people on tumblr who have really helped u in yr journey?

well, i met cieran here. alice has been a good influence. there’s a few of you for sure, though maybe not all specifically for these sorts of things.

41. best coping skills?

i dont know

42. most irritating Ableist Cliches ppl use to tell u yr not good enough?

infantilizing me(comparing me to a child), mocking my productivity/commercial success, “daddy issues”, trying to gaslight me into thinking i’ve been abusive because we disagree on something/i pointed out something they dont like

43. best most supportive thing anyone's said to you? 

“i want to be like you when i grow up”

44. songs for Happy Times?

counting stars, gooey, just about anything by MIKA, most “meme” songs

45. songs for Not-Happy Times?

a lot of hozier, bastille, of monsters and men, rage against the machine, flobots

46. non-triggering movies that discuss mental illness?

im not sure, i know there are some i love that i could list, but none are coming to mind. not a movie but: moomin and most ghibli media, esp kiki’s delivery service.

[hgfstreamchats]

The Legend of the Titanic & Tentacolino

Hello! Me Hello there, night human! thenightetc So... I haven't heard of this. What are we in for...? Me A mess. thenightetc *anticipation, yet trepidation also* thenightetc Quick, put it back-- Me Nothing to see here. thenightetc 😬 And he just happens to sit there! Me What a coincidence! Jalaperilo yo! Me Jalaperilo human! Hello! Jalaperilo i have 0 work tomorrow so i can hang all night! thenightetc Hello! Nice. Me Glorious! You won't want to miss a second of this one.

The Ramsey human can smell lies. Jalaperilo the ramsey human is one of the best of us. tells professionals when they are idiots, encourages those that are learning Me Exactly the way it should be. thenightetc ...Alright, I know how food looks doesn't necessarily indicate how it'll taste, but Jalaperilo what the f are chitlits? thenightetc They're... pig intestines Jalaperilo ah thenightetc Boiled and fried Jalaperilo and microwaved apparently thenightetc Oh! THAT'S where that's from! Me I always wondered! Jalaperilo he's so different on american tv thenightetc Red velvet cake is delicious Jalaperilo it is I'm gonna cry thenightetc ....:< Me I like to think I've learned to spot a good human, and he was one. thenightetc Yeah. Jalaperilo oh yes his acting is amazing Me It really is. thenightetc They may not be effective at villainy, but they make a wonderful band. Me We'll just...pass on the video where he's singing on his death bed. Onto the giant octopus movie? thenightetc ...Yes, let's. Jalaperilo what is this? thenightetc Hello! eggshellwhitesucks Hi! Me Hello! Jalaperilo yo! eggshellwhitesucks I’m the anon who demanded a terrible movie and I’m pleased Me """"Whistle"""" thenightetc We just started. Me Happy to deliver! Thank you for prompting this awful thing! eggshellwhitesucks Why are there so many movies about mice being put into terrible situations Me Maybe the mice deserve it for some ancient atrocity? eggshellwhitesucks hey look it’s discount marissa faireborn Starscreamapillar Oh good, I did not miss the madness. Me Unicron forbid! thenightetc Aw, he even has a little sailor suit. eggshellwhitesucks that’s just lazy writing thenightetc What is that hat Starscreamapillar Someone ate part of it. They are rodents. Jalaperilo they said they wwere in england, but if theyre picking up europeans, they'd be in france thenightetc That's right, this is a soccer movie now Me This certainly has something to do with anything. Starscreamapillar Mouse soccer definitely belongs in a titanic movie. Jalaperilo they had to fill the movie with innanity cause the story is lacking thenightetc Oh! Cats! Starscreamapillar Who could possibly be the bad guy. It is a mystery. Jalaperilo just her hand? thenightetc Looking forward to this descending into a horror movie as the cats hunt down and brutally murder every single mouse character eggshellwhitesucks I hope this ends up like the bee movie and she falls in love with a mouse Me Oh look, it's the personification of Vos. Starscreamapillar . . . Me Well, the fun part, at any rate. Starscreamapillar Good save. Jalaperilo nut him! she looks so generic eggshellwhitesucks OH was that completely necessary Jalaperilo nothing in this film is Starscreamapillar That is unsettling. thenightetc Well! Nothing distasteful about THAT. Me Close your mouth. eggshellwhitesucks Because everyone knows who that is thenightetc Oh, so he's saying his boss is too special to follow the rules. Jalaperilo looks like the animators cant animate dialogue, everything is spoken off camera Starscreamapillar Classy. eggshellwhitesucks The best part of the movie thus far Jalaperilo why havent they set off yet? Starscreamapillar They have to wave in three frames of animation per second. eggshellwhitesucks is this movie even about the titanic Jalaperilo this offends me eggshellwhitesucks tag urself I’m his eyepatch Jalaperilo i'm the entire cast being american Starscreamapillar Exclusive. Worldwide. Whaling rights. Because surely one man can grant those. Me I'm the wistful she-human in the painting. thenightetc Now that you mentioned the dialog thing I can't stop seeing it I'm the lamp. Starscreamapillar I am the broken CGI. thenightetc .... Jalaperilo haha! thenightetc That uh certainly is something. Jalaperilo this is where the dialogue animation budget went thenightetc Probably half their budget eggshellwhitesucks ...there’s still an hour left thenightetc oh my god THEY WERE JUST FLAT TEXTURES Jalaperilo oh god egg, why did you do thuis to us? Me Why is soccer mouse afting around with him anyway? He's not staff. thenightetc "mouse inspection board" Jalaperilo i'm not scottish, and this accent offends me to my soul thenightetc I'm pretty sure none of these mice are staff, per se eggshellwhitesucks he’s the spike witwicky of the movie Starscreamapillar Is he the one that sinks the ship, then? eggshellwhitesucks No that’s the iceberg, the best character thenightetc They're all stowaways. They're all stowaways. Starscreamapillar Are they even speaking actual words, or just vague, word-like noise? thenightetc ...What did her hair just do? You all saw that, right? Jalaperilo i was distracted by smut on my other screen eggshellwhitesucks I was going to respond to that with a comment but I’ve got nothing Jalaperilo then tey all die in the icy water eggshellwhitesucks I’m so proud of the icy water It deserves an award Me It's doing good work. Ew. Jalaperilo was this film originally another language? thenightetc .... Starscreamapillar A racist. Jalaperilo hahah! thenightetc So this IS like Bee Movie Starscreamapillar Only if it is reciprocated. eggshellwhitesucks Oh great they sing Starscreamapillar Those dolphins, and their fifty foot leaps. thenightetc Hoverdolphins. Starscreamapillar And floating. eggshellwhitesucks They escaped from Seaworld. Jalaperilo fuck off i hate everything that was just said eggshellwhitesucks Bad comment my apologies thenightetc Magic. Jalaperilo what you say? Me I laughed at it. eggshellwhitesucks Oh it’s an educational film it has nothing to do with the titanic If they all live at the end I riot Starscreamapillar I think she is just insane, and there is no dolphin magic. Me I want all these characters to watch each other die. Jalaperilo she was prob high on mescaline as it was in most medicine back then eggshellwhitesucks That would certainly be more entertaining thenightetc hahahaha eggshellwhitesucks I like how you keep checking the time just to remind us how much longer we have to endure this thenightetc Getting some more mileage out of that model, I see Me Oh, it does that when I archive the chat. Starscreamapillar .... The frag is that? thenightetc oh my god A... shark-man. With a hat. A prison hat? eggshellwhitesucks I want to see him face off against the sharkticons Me I too want to see him die. thenightetc With any luck, "face off" is what would happen oh my god She just rolls with it Starscreamapillar Did she not tell them what she thinks? Me Mescaline: not even once. Starscreamapillar Two mice, truly the backup she needs to turn the tide of her unwanted marriage. thenightetc "Now that I know a couple of talking mice I just met are on my side" Jalaperilo youre on the same ship in the middle of the sea eggshellwhitesucks I just missed a good two minutes because I got a phone call. Can I have a recap? thenightetc "fascinating charisma" Jalaperilo ah, this was original italian thenightetc Well, the minion guy apparently is in league with sharks, and the mice revealed themselves to this lady and offered to help her get out of her engagement ThebesAce Sorry I'm late--whoa, is this the second animated Titantic movie? MAKES IT EASY Me It is! Starscreamapillar Well then. Problem solved. Jalaperilo the besace! thenightetc Oh, god, he's still got her glove. Starscreamapillar Stop smelling that glove, it is weird. ThebesAce Jalapero! eggshellwhitesucks Titanic 2: the boat is back this time with vengeance thenightetc I bet smelling isn't all he's been doing. Me He's doing all kinds of things to that glove. ThebesAce (I know it's jalaperilo but I like going jalapero in my head) (SPICY DOG) Jalaperilo knock out, please, i'm trying to eat ice cream i got it lol ThebesAce I mean, it's not wrong okay, it's wrong, but it's not incorrect thenightetc ...So he CAN talk Starscreamapillar And then he ate those mice. eggshellwhitesucks He believes in a functionalist society. Me Smiley believes that some bots should be smelted for the greater good. ThebesAce or he doesn't want humans asking questions about him coughing up sailor outfits thenightetc Now, what about the cats. Oh, god, the soccer thing's going to die into it eggshellwhitesucks I’m thinking of a particularly horrific scene from the great mouse detective Starscreamapillar Oh yes, the tiny, mouse sized soccer ball sent him flying. Jalaperilo what is actually going on, cause i keep looking away for a few seconds and i have no idea whats happenng ThebesAce shenanigans shenanigans are happening thenightetc I think it was a regular soccer ball that the mouse somehow kicked hard enough Starscreamapillar It is all nonsense, even when one tries to pay attention. eggshellwhitesucks All that matters is they are en route to a giant ice berg Jalaperilo cant come quick enough THERE IS A SEQUEL ThebesAce YUP TENTACOLINO Jalaperilo tentacle what? eggshellwhitesucks i‘m so buying these films on dvd ThebesAce the sequel, it's called Tentacolino Jalaperilo thats up knock out street Me Don't tempt me into streaming it. ThebesAce You mean you don't want to stream the tale of toyland Atlantis? Me ... Starscreamapillar . . . thenightetc voyeur mice Me Well, we're watching it. And I've no objections to watching it tonight, if no one else does. thenightetc Let's do it! Me Beautiful! thenightetc Was that a pun? Jalaperilo might as well, we've come this far thenightetc Mice-tro Starscreamapillar Sure, I have not suffered enough in my lifetime. Jalaperilo this is our collective punishment for the terrible things we all did in the past eggshellwhitesucks I’m home alone all weekend to watch the dogs and my mom is gonna be like “what’d you do last night” I can’t wait to introduce her to this wonderful world of cinema Me I like how he seems to have given up on the female mouse and settled for her brother. eggshellwhitesucks Iceberg. Roll credits. Jalaperilo can he understand them? Starscreamapillar I have been exploded from the inside out, and I still count these films as more painful. ThebesAce I am also in for the sequel and apparently yes Yes he can Jalaperilo he didnt cry in the moonlights into the sea or whatever the fuck it was ThebesAce no but true love or some crap like that thenightetc I think the mouse was saying something about how if he marries her, he'll be able to understand them? eggshellwhitesucks Oh great. I’m so glad Smiley gets a girlfriend because we totally needed that. thenightetc I'm just glad there's not going to be a human/mouse romance after all eggshellwhitesucks Oh I completely forgot about the eyepatch villain Jalaperilo i thought the sailor mouse and the football mouse were a couple ThebesAce this movie isn't nearly that interesting eggshellwhitesucks Time to write fanfiction Jalaperilo the only piece of fanfiction to be written of this eggshellwhitesucks Didn’t they like just meet Starscreamapillar Have they actually said a whole sentence to each other? thenightetc I'm not sure they have. Me True love means never having to say literally anything to each other at any point. Jalaperilo theyre from the romeo and juliet school of romance thenightetc He had his dog steal her glove, he kept the glove to... smell... and then they danced eggshellwhitesucks The mice are the real villains. They just interrupted Smiley’s wonderful sleep. Me He was dreaming of a better movie! thenightetc Oh. New characters. Hooray. Jalaperilo cant wait to see these gypsy stereotypes eggshellwhitesucks Boyfriend. Smiley gets a boyfriend. Me Well, that's refreshingly...something. thenightetc "Mice! Wearing little clothes!" Jalaperilo gotta get back to my comics eggshellwhitesucks Well that’s totally a good idea thenightetc Please let them electrocute themselves Jalaperilo so, god i must be really flakey tonight. WHY do they want her to mary the eyepatch guy? Me This won't backfire at all. Starscreamapillar So that is why the ship sank. Evil mice sabotage. eggshellwhitesucks YESS THE ICEBERG thenightetc The eyepatch guy wants her father's whaling rights eggshellwhitesucks I’ve been waiting the entire movie for the iceberg thenightetc Again, why does the shark have a prison hat and patch Jalaperilo the iseberg is here to cleanse us of our sins thenightetc And hands? Starscreamapillar Because he is a bad guy. ThebesAce THAT'S HOW SHARK-HUNTING WORKS wait how did they understand the sharks, anyway Starscreamapillar Moonbeam slag. thenightetc He has stripes, too eggshellwhitesucks So this was the inspiration for finding nemo Jalaperilo why come up with the moonbeam shit if everyone is gonna understand animals thenightetc How is the hat styaing on Who put a shark in jail Starscreamapillar Because the humans who made this are also high on mescaline. eggshellwhitesucks Magic Jalaperilo haha i feel im on mescaline Me I like his large, visible claspers. thenightetc ..... eggshellwhitesucks I want you guys to know my dog is equally as disappointed in this film as me thenightetc *eyebrows* eggshellwhitesucks She fell asleep Jalaperilo your dog is a good judge of character and film thenightetc *eyebrows* eggshellwhitesucks She fell asleep Jalaperilo your dog is a good judge of character and film Me A very good dog. Jalaperilo many pets for doggo eggshellwhitesucks do they not realize that if the titanic sinks they too will die because of the icy cold waters or are they hoping to survive off of the marvelous breadfish thenightetc So he's like. A baby giant octopus Jalaperilo WHAT IS GOING ON??? tantacles. finally something for KO Me I'm in serious danger of losing my taste for tentacles. eggshellwhitesucks The shark is officially my favorite character. His manipulation tactics are wonderful. thenightetc And who can blame you? Jalaperilo i hate this octopus it looks fucking freaky thenightetc Got a little... dog nose ThebesAce don't worry, he suffers thenightetc nooooo, poor cat eggshellwhitesucks Death to the mice via the introduction of cat? Starscreamapillar Is he going to murder that old man? Jalaperilo we can only hope eggshellwhitesucks Man this really....sinks Starscreamapillar . . . Jalaperilo booo eggshellwhitesucks Almost as bad as the joke Ice to see eyepatch man again This movie is whaley bad Jalaperilo what they making him sign? Starscreamapillar A will. ThebesAce This script needs a tuna-p. Me They should have cetacean-motion a better one. thenightetc Wait, the hat wasn't stuck on? ThebesAce Eh, I'd probably clam up about my involvement in this, unless I was a real sucker. eggshellwhitesucks I can’t believe they’re sinking the ship. It’s clearly octopied. thenightetc Hhahahaha Jalaperilo YOU CAUSED A MASACRE KID thenightetc And nobody saw fit to tell him before he did it This is a pearl of a movie. Me "LOT OF POOR PEOPLE AND CHILDREN, KID." ThebesAce it is when they manage to coral their animation and tell the story eggshellwhitesucks I do wish I knew what type of mascara the captain uses Jalaperilo they served a lot of nice drinks on the titanic. they all went down well with ice Me HAH! thenightetc I mull-ask why anyone thought this was a good idea. eggshellwhitesucks This movie just got good. Because they’re all going to die. Jalaperilo ssoon we will be free of this awful movie Me And onto its sequel. Its awful, awful sequel. Starscreamapillar Ah yes, plenty of room for everyone. That is historically accurate. ThebesAce Don't want to bring the mood down, talking about the TITANTIC TITANIC* eggshellwhitesucks Well, ship happens. Jalaperilo how do you do a sequel? do they do a return trip on the lusitania? ThebesAce If it mast, it mast thenightetc I'm getting a sinking feeling about this. eggshellwhitesucks I heard the salads on the titanic used excellent iceberg lettuce. Me The script just falls a-port. thenightetc Well, I am looking forward to the sea-quel Starscreamapillar I hate all of you. thenightetc 😁 Starscreamapillar He's dead. Excellent. thenightetc What an electrifying solution. ThebesAce Guess we really sunk your opinions of us, huh eggshellwhitesucks Icee dead mice. Jalaperilo cant wait for this to fin-ish thenightetc That is definitely how octopi move, galloping across the ocean floor. eggshellwhitesucks Wait the octopus’ name is literally tentacles? Jalaperilo they dead eggshellwhitesucks That’s REALLY lazy writing. Me Casual sexism, lovely. Jalaperilo elizabeths full name is elizabeth human-woman Starscreamapillar Finally, someone acknowledges that it is a mouse. thenightetc And that there's something weird about that. eggshellwhitesucks Row row row your boat gently down the freezing waters you’ll inevitably die in Starscreamapillar The Titanic kraken. How could we forget? Jalaperilo didnt half the people die in the sinking? ThebesAce so do dolphins just. Fly? thenightetc ...Did he just Take a breath Me He did. Starscreamapillar Yes. eggshellwhitesucks Oh by all means save the instruments for incidental music thenightetc Well, THANK GOD everyone's safe! Starscreamapillar And then no one died. Except for that one mouse. And I guess those three idiots. Jalaperilo i hate this ThebesAce my, I feel such tension for their safety thenightetc I'm glad nobody died in the MOST FAMOUS SHIPWRECK OF ALL TIME. Me I certainly care what happens to them. eggshellwhitesucks Jut say “I never want to let go” and get it over with ThebesAce I am so invested in this cardboard cutouts of people and animals Starscreamapillar DEad. Jalaperilo where the fuck did this whale come from Starscreamapillar No such thing as hypothermia. Jalaperilo deus ex whales eggshellwhitesucks Hear that kids? The next time your boat sinks in freezing cold water jump in and die of hypothermia instead! Jalaperilo lemme guess, thats the uss california ThebesAce well I mean that did actually happen historically, but it sure didn't end happily Jalaperilo *ss Starscreamapillar I am glad he is dead. No.... eggshellwhitesucks He comes back as zombie octopus in the sequel thenightetc Well then ThebesAce the sequel is a hot mess of acid-fueled bad ideas eggshellwhitesucks And this film wasn’t? thenightetc Oh, so it's in the spirit of the original. ThebesAce no, compared to the original, the original is boring thenightetc noooooo, the cats ThebesAce the sequel's where they put the HILARIOUSLY bad ideas thenightetc ...His name is "Don Juan"? Starscreamapillar Of course it is. ThebesAce yes, because this is an Italian production, and they thought that was appropriate thenightetc Welllllll I'm sure their marriage is going to be just fine. Me Smiley and his boyfriend are the only acceptable couple in this movie. eggshellwhitesucks I concur thenightetc Thank god they gave that mouse tits. eggshellwhitesucks Wow this films soundtrack sure is wonderful Starscreamapillar But only two. Instead of the twelve she ought to have. Jalaperilo HAHAHA eggshellwhitesucks Hahahahaha....no Jalaperilo threesome eggshellwhitesucks I just heard the cinema sins laugh play in my head Me Beat the horses to make this tragedy right! ThebesAce I feel like Cinema Sins' sin counter would combust trying to tackle this movie Jalaperilo why is this film still going? thenightetc Oh good, more terrible CGI Starscreamapillar An unmoving mannequin crowd. Jalaperilo eat them eggshellwhitesucks I....I’m boycotting for the lack of death thenightetc And nobody's concerned about a giant octopus grabbing people out of the crowd Jalaperilo beig fukken stoned eggshellwhitesucks I didn’t need to see that the animated mouse ass Starscreamapillar That mouse made all that up. Me Sometimes they meet up for "fishing trips." thenightetc That explains a surprising amount He didn't want to upset the kids so he told them nobody died. ThebesAce yup. Starscreamapillar They also lived for eighty years. ThebesAce lot easier than telling him he was a stowaway shiprat who clung to a liferaft until he saw the shore thenightetc ...THIRD animated Titanic Movie? eggshellwhitesucks I’m switching to a computer because the sheer horror of this film killed my phone’s battery Me As well as something precious inside of all of us. ThebesAce YUP COME JOIN US IN ACID FUELED SEQUEL LAND thenightetc Oh, good, they kept the CGI model. Starscreamapillar I am fairly certain it is known where the wreck of the Titanic is. No searching necessary. thenightetc ...oh, they're just recapping for the credits. nevermind thenightetc "It's in just the right position now!" teehee Jalaperilo i had to go deal with some noisy ass bug in my room what did i miss? ThebesAce absolutely nothing Jalaperilo oh good lol ThebesAce they recapped, then bathysphere to find the Titanic Jalaperilo bathysphere? Starscreamapillar Somehow, despite the entire lack of quality of the first film, this one manages to look worse. thenightetc Why's his hat different ThebesAce it's that round diving thing with the lights coming out Me I miss Smiley's accent. And "Y." ThebesAce you attach it to a ship, dip it down as far as you can get it, then winch it back up Starscreamapillar It is a different dog, Smiley did and was replaced with Smile. thenightetc Wow, they extended themselves to ANIMATE the cgi! Jalaperilo so theyre going to go get the titanic? Me He ran off with his Scottish beast of a boyfriend. Jalaperilo are they gonna thenightetc Uh Jalaperilo ............ ThebesAce SO WHO WANTED THIS TITANIC MOVIE TO BE A MUSICAL thenightetc Where did he get that shirt ThebesAce BECAUSE YOU'RE GETTING A MUSICAL Starscreamapillar Oh good. It is a musical now. Me I like that this is apparently almost two hours long. Jalaperilo thebes, you sneak 2 hours to go get the titanic eggshellwhitesucks Oh this one's a musical. Wonderful. Jalaperilo his fin is unfortunately placed thenightetc Everything about this is unfortunate. Where did the hermit crab get glasses eggshellwhitesucks I can't wait to perform in this show. Jalaperilo haha thenightetc He IS half yellow eggshellwhitesucks Almost as much as I hate eggshell white Starscreamapillar That is why he has yellow on his stolen clothing. thenightetc Why is he stripping eggshellwhitesucks Clam down guys. ThebesAce why was he wearing clothes in the first place Jalaperilo whats with the oyster chorus ThebesAce now hold on, it took a lot for them to come out of their shells Jalaperilo wait, did i miss something, is the football mouse a girl? thenightetc Sharks hugging. eggshellwhitesucks The original voice actor came to his senses and decided he wouldn't do the sequel for purposes of his career. Jalaperilo why was there no background music thenightetc Why DOES he have a different hat than the other sharks Shouldn't there be water cominb in? Jalaperilo sharks arent evil thenightetc Isn't one of those things an air hose or something? Why are bubbles coming out of the sphere itself eggshellwhitesucks Because I'd much rather watch this film than Shark Week thenightetc Why does he need them to come with him to brush his--oh, of course, he can't reach his own teeth with his weird finhands Jalaperilo where is the music? what is the purpose of this scene? thenightetc Wow, everything about this makes sense Jalaperilo its too complicated and nothing is happening thenightetc So, all the air's definitely leaked out, right .................. Starscreamapillar . . . . Sure. Jalaperilo whaaaat thenightetc This sure is how everythign works Starscreamapillar The air they are wasting currently. Jalaperilo when does james cameron appear? thenightetc From the top. Jalaperilo haha Starscreamapillar I wish this was the undersea crevice Megatron was chucked into. He deserved this madness. eggshellwhitesucks I think I like this Tentacles a bit more. thenightetc Ha! Me He's got a pinch more grit. Jalaperilo its 3am and ive lost the plot Me Aerosol cans. Because of course. Starscreamapillar That is how bubbles work. thenightetc Sure is. That, too! eggshellwhitesucks OH MY GOD SEAHORSES ThebesAce THAT GALLOP WHAT Me "Oops." thenightetc "what's a dog" Jalaperilo they dead? Starscreamapillar If only. thenightetc Couldn't they just carry them up to the surface instead of taking them to Atlantis? Starscreamapillar No. They have to kidnap them. thenightetc Of course the octopus has trouble squeezing through slightly tight spaces. ThebesAce WELCOME TO TOYLAND ATLANTIS Starscreamapillar Wasn't there a Titanic involved in this search for the Titanic? ThebesAce YOU ARE ABOUT TO FIND OUT WHY I CALL IT SUCH eggshellwhitesucks "I'm dead" if only Jalaperilo but all dogs go to heaven Me I think I like this Smiley. ThebesAce You are doomed to eternal bathtime, Smiley Me New theory is that Smile is Smiley and Bow Dog's disappointment of a son. thenightetc Are these coffins Jalaperilo hahaha! headcanon accepted Me Oh no. Jalaperilo why she got a cowboy hat? thenightetc What, haven't you ever seen a nurse before? Minidress and cowboy hat are standard Jalaperilo oh no yeah, i remember my mum wearing a cowboy hat for the last 37 years thenightetc Um UM Jalaperilo WTF eggshellwhitesucks that's uhhh horrifying Jalaperilo WHY IS IT MOVING ThebesAce and we now enter the terrifying toyland-esque parts of the movie Me "The treatment" eggshellwhitesucks why does he have no face Jalaperilo the 'treatment' is a transorbital lobotony Starscreamapillar Kidnapped forever. thenightetc Uh Me "They go in through your nose and they let you keep the piece of brain they took out." thenightetc Why does the evil fish have a spring, though Jalaperilo what is it thenightetc Why is the Jalaperilo what is it thenightetc creature Jalaperilo i hate it thenightetc following him around "you know.... in case you want to sit on me" Jalaperilo DONT SIT ON IT Starscreamapillar Sit on his face. thenightetc SITS Jalaperilo it talks ThebesAce "You're trusting this to the pogo-ride freak of nature?!" "Hey!" "Pingo, you can bounce away your worries, but you can't bounce away the truth." thenightetc He's... "made of" silver? eggshellwhitesucks so he's a revolutionary thenightetc "oh we kill everyone who finds out" Me The surface is literally right there. eggshellwhitesucks They serve human beings who find Atlantis. as food ThebesAce the sound of a man who faces eternity with Pingo Starscreamapillar Certain Things. thenightetc "your... parties are always fantastic, sir" eggshellwhitesucks I want to shamelessly see her on a seahorse. Starscreamapillar That is a cowboy hat headscarf. thenightetc "It's such a pretty color, it must be safe!" Me Eight minutes later, they were all dead. Jalaperilo dont drink the coolaid Starscreamapillar Atlantis the mini-mall. eggshellwhitesucks So this IS a hallucination? Me Atlantis is tacky. eggshellwhitesucks the lost city of disappointment thenightetc So... are they underwater, or not? Jalaperilo ok.im tapping out. its 3:15 and nothing is happening in this movie Me Good call. Jalaperilo ciao! thenightetc Goodnight! Me Good night! Starscreamapillar Rest well. eggshellwhitesucks Hope you dream of the Titanic and mice! thenightetc That is some bad interlacing Jalaperilo why curse me like that eggs? bye! thenightetc Toys. Me I like how we never did learn what "the treatment" consisted of. thenightetc They're human-sized? eggshellwhitesucks .......Zlatko.... Detroit: Become Human. Starscreamapillar I'd rather not know what the Treatment entailed. eggshellwhitesucks I'd like to see their names on a tombstone. thenightetc "very personal" eeeerrrrrrrr.... eggshellwhitesucks Smiley's okay. He's got a boyfriend back home. thenightetc Please don't be an orgy Did one of the dancers just disappear? Me "It was not strong." thenightetc ..."always stay awake" Starscreamapillar . . . . eggshellwhitesucks I think Soundwave would enjoy this number. Starscreamapillar I am not high enough for this. Me ...I'm sending it to him. CONSORT. Starscreamapillar That is not how to break the kidnapping gently to them. eggshellwhitesucks Tentacolino- Pingo's Song Tentacolino- Pingo's Song - Got to be one of the worst musical numbers within a film I've seen. From the movie 'Tentacolino'. thenightetc Right? "mythical" Hahhahaha Starscreamapillar Don Juan is much too high for this. thenightetc Either they're taking this remarkably well, or they're sucking up so he won't suspect they're going to try to escape eggshellwhitesucks NO SMILEY HAS A BOYFRIEND. Starscreamapillar Not anymore. Me No, no! Remember? He's Smile, their garbage offspring. thenightetc Uh eggshellwhitesucks Oh. I missed that plot aspect. thenightetc Just... what this movie needed Starscreamapillar Sure, trust the rodent with the hook hand and eye patch. thenightetc ...How many rats are down here, anyway? Actually why are there ANY eggshellwhitesucks I also don't trust the extremely feminine dog. thenightetc Is this a honeypot Me If it's not, then what the scrap's going on here? And this is *why* he's their disappointment child. eggshellwhitesucks Oh that's ruff. Starscreamapillar Aren't they dead yet? eggshellwhitesucks Buster wouldn't pull a stunt like this. wait.... there's water underneath the water? Spongebob logic, great. Starscreamapillar They keep Atlantis full of air, for no good reason. thenightetc Maybe they... still have to breathe air some of the time?? Me GAH. thenightetc Uh Is he SHAVED eggshellwhitesucks This is definitely an image that will haunt me.... for the rest of my life. Starscreamapillar How are they prisoners? They left. thenightetc Can't they just swim up ThebesAce you'd think! okay, this rat is talking sense Starscreamapillar He's not wrong... thenightetc A bit, yeah eggshellwhitesucks He can't be any scarier than this movie. or the shaved rat thenightetc Feh, they only "saved" you so they could kidnap you. You don't owe them anything. Wow, mean. Starscreamapillar Why must it grunt while it follows him? thenightetc It wants to remind him it's there. Following him. In case he wants to sit down. eggshellwhitesucks but screwdrivers are useful thenightetc Uh Starscreamapillar . . . . I hate this. All we have to do is win. Yes. It is that easy. thenightetc Wow, I didn't know you could just *opt out* of losing! Starscreamapillar If only us Decepticons had known. thenightetc I bet you feel silly now. Starscreamapillar Immeasurably. eggshellwhitesucks You just needed to steal the elixir of life. thenightetc "Everything?" the dog asks uncomfortably, thinking back to his encounter with his lady friend eggshellwhitesucks Back to his old habits I see oh my god this movie is longer than the first Starscreamapillar The suffering can never end. thenightetc The wink. thenightetc The other rats didn't see him clearly holding a duplicate flask? Starscreamapillar No. Because they are stupid. eggshellwhitesucks They went to the Atlantian school of being good at something. eggshellwhitesucks Be in this movie. That's what you did to deserve this. Me ...Well, then? thenightetc There's no lid on that flask eggshellwhitesucks And then there'll be an excellent third installment in this series Starscreamapillar No. I will fling this planet into the sun before I allow it. eggshellwhitesucks ah yes the alternate universe where rats and sharks rule the universe, sounds ideal ThebesAce well. compared to Pingo eggshellwhitesucks how did they survive.... didn't they almost drown in the last film Starscreamapillar This is a different one eyed man. He has a different name. thenightetc What, really? eggshellwhitesucks I missed so much of this movie's non-existent plot. Starscreamapillar Sadly so. thenightetc That would be "hitting", Smile. eggshellwhitesucks There's still 40 minutes of this movie left. Shorely we can come up with some great puns to pass the time. Starscreamapillar Men in barrels! The most deadly foe. Me This movie deserved to end an hour and five minutes ago. thenightetc I wonder if they feel gill-ty about conspiring to keep all those rats there against their will. eggshellwhitesucks Stop TOYing with my emotions in this way. thenightetc Wow. Did you know... that clothes can be removed...? Starscreamapillar What the frag is this nonsense??? He did it. The curse is broken. Me What a character arc it was. thenightetc He could have taken that wig off at any time. eggshellwhitesucks I think he looked fine before. ThebesAce this is like a rejected pokemon movie or something at this point eggshellwhitesucks I still can't figure out what the yellow thing is. thenightetc That's the laziest fucking wave animation loop eggshellwhitesucks Is he an otter? Starscreamapillar I think a stingray. thenightetc I thought a manta ray? eggshellwhitesucks Oh makes sense. thenightetc With uh arms for some reason eggshellwhitesucks It's the Titanic. Starscreamapillar Convenient amnesia ray. So the kidnapping was very deliberate. eggshellwhitesucks the Titanic 2: electric boogaloo Me Titanic 2: Titanic Junior, Son of Titanic thenightetc I think he already knows how to punch you on the nose. eggshellwhitesucks Poor Representation matters? ThebesAce WELL THAT'S NOT GRAPHIC Starscreamapillar No they won't, they They're rats. thenightetc "haha, oh, the treatment kills you if you go to the surface." eggshellwhitesucks "wear my non-existent faaaaceeee" Me "I'm only 38 years old!" thenightetc hahahaha eggshellwhitesucks like this film? A piece of trash? Me Hah! His laugh makes me feel unclean. And not in a fun way. eggshellwhitesucks ...Huh sounds familiar Starscreamapillar I have seen far too many rat nipples today. thenightetc A couple hundred rats are going to have a hard time doing that even if they ARE immortal. Me One rat nipple is too many. Starscreamapillar Drown that old man. thenightetc Wait. I thought they'd already been dosed with the elixer when they arrived? eggshellwhitesucks the elixir of false information thenightetc It's almost like they know it's fake. Me "Who wants to see an old man die?!" thenightetc Ha! eggshellwhitesucks It's almost like they know they're in a terrible movie. Starscreamapillar Watch him drown. thenightetc But, don't the Atlanteans give all their """"guests"""" the underwater breathing stuff? Starscreamapillar Wasn't he fussing about screwdrivers earlier? ThebesAce yup Me "Or something." Starscreamapillar Those were surface rats he tried to drown. thenightetc Well, that's not sinister eggshellwhitesucks oh my god thenightetc But why would surface rats be down there? eggshellwhitesucks They seriously just did that. Starscreamapillar They escaped. eggshellwhitesucks They're giving them the Titanic. Starscreamapillar Please do not force me to recall more of this nightmare than I have to. eggshellwhitesucks Can't wait for the third installment to come out thenightetc The boat was ripped in half They... fixed that? eggshellwhitesucks Nah. It's just that no one cares about continuity. Me Screwy. Starscreamapillar All fixed. They even got rid of the skeletons in the lower levels. Me Those child skeletons, always cluttering things up. thenightetc What skeletons, there weren't any skeletons! Everyone survived! Starscreamapillar Ah good. Still kidnapped, but now you're alone and kidnapped. Also, did the sailor mouse not marry some girl mouse on the mainland? Me He's got her brother, he'll be fine. eggshellwhitesucks Smile's a disappointment. Me Smile's got his fathers back home, but he was a neglectful son who never called, so no loss. thenightetc So... everyone came with them...? eggshellwhitesucks ...did she just laugh without opening her mouth thenightetc Ah. So they're kidnapped on an island all alone and isolated, but they get Skype, so it's okay Uh Starscreamapillar Oh good. The Treatment makes you insane if you escape. Me Well, that's not horrifying. ThebesAce barking rats, huh thenightetc That's... even creepier than my suggestion eggshellwhitesucks OH GOD Starscreamapillar NO. thenightetc Uh Me UNICRON. eggshellwhitesucks NOT THE HAIRLESS RAT thenightetc NOPE eggshellwhitesucks and this film just turned into a horror film thenightetc Wait, why is he unaffected? Starscreamapillar As it was always meant to be. eggshellwhitesucks oh god he's gonna start singing again Starscreamapillar Our enemies are in an insane prison forever? Celebrate! Me And at last, we're free. eggshellwhitesucks You know there's a reason those actors were never heard from again. This film ruined their careers. Starscreamapillar But are we really? The memories will never fade. thenightetc ...😔 eggshellwhitesucks Anyways, uh, I hope you guys have lovely.... seafaring...dreams.... about sinking ships and mad mice. Me Yes, that. ThebesAce clearly, we had to hear THIS song again Me It was a need. thenightetc Of course. eggshellwhitesucks It's my new ringtone. thenightetc There are ten minutes left?? Oh. Starscreamapillar Well, it has been a nightmare. Thank you for hosting this terrible time. thenightetc Why, though Me Always a pleasure. May the Allspark forgive me. thenightetc There, there. eggshellwhitesucks Have a good evening. Thank you for showing such a wonderful, feel good film. Starscreamapillar Until next time. I will never rest soundly again. Me Good night, everyone! ThebesAce good night, Knockout! thenightetc Good night! And thanks for hosting. 😃 It IS fun, despite the movie itself. Me You're very welcome!

[wickedsingularity]

Snowflake Proposal [drabble]

wickedsingularity’s Christmas Stories 2018 masterlist

Fandom: Star Trek Pairings/characters: Jim Kirk x reader (but not really), mention of Winona Kirk and Frank Words: 1065 Warnings: Mention of Jim's stepfather, kissing, fluff

Prompt/summary (thank you to @iguess-theyre-mymess for the idea for this one!) The five-year mission is over and Jim takes his girlfriend back home to Iowa to visit his mother. One evening, he's taking a walk with his girlfriend and finally finds the moment he's been waiting for.

It was winter in Iowa. There was already about an inch of snow, and it was still coming down in large white chunks. Downtown Riverside was silent a few minutes past midnight on a Wednesday, the snow muffled the sounds of their footsteps. The stores were long closed, and the moon was new behind the snow-filled clouds, the streetlights were the only source of light.

It felt peaceful. Which was something Jim never thought he'd feel in Iowa, or on Earth at all. Ever since that barfight by the shipyard years ago, his life had been space, and space gave him peace.

"A slip of latinum for your thoughts."

The hand in his tightened for a second, getting his attention. Jim turned his head slightly to see his girlfriend looking at him, the streetlight they just passed flashed in her eyes. He cracked a small smile.

She had a lot to do with it, Jim thought, the peace in his heart. She'd been part of his crew from the very start – the disaster with Nero, and all through the five-year mission. But it was while they were stranded on Yorktown that he fell for her, hard and fast. He'd struggled after everything that had happened and he'd had a particularly hard day and had gone for a walk in the evening to clear his head. He thought he was alone in that part of the park when he let it all overwhelm him, but she'd been there, and she'd seen and she'd helped him. And there was no one else for him since that night.

"Just thinking of how peaceful this is," Jim said.

She stopped and turned her head up at the slowly falling snow, eyes closed. Jim stopped a couple of steps later, her hand holding his halting him. Then she looked at him again, snowflakes on her eyelashes. "It is. It really is. I'm glad you wanted to come back here, Jim."

He chuckled at the snow on her face and walked up to her and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. "Me too. And I'm glad mom ditched that good-for-nothing dirtbag."

"I would have loved to have met him though," she said, her voice going dark, staring at the collar of his jacket. "I would love to punch out a few of his teeth. But let's not talk about him."

"Let's not. He's not an issue anymore." They started walking again. "I'm glad you wanted to come back with me."

"Why wouldn't I. I've been dying to meet the woman who raised this wonderful man I'm in love with." She swung their hands back and forth between them. "I've heard he was quite a rebel in his youth, but she did a good job on him because he grew to be the most charming, kind, warm man."

Jim lifted their entwined hands and kissed the back of her hand, his lips lingering on the cool skin.

She hummed. "Your lips are warm."

"Are you cold?" he spoke against her skin, blowing warm air on her hand.

"A bit. But I don't want to back just yet. Snowy ice planets just aren't the same as a snowfall on Earth."

"I know what you mean."

About an hour ago, when it had started snowing again, they had decided to go for a walk. Jim's mother had gone to bed after urging them to dress warmly.

"Mom is crazy about you, you know."

"She is?"

"Uh-huh. Says getting you to like me is the smartest thing I've ever done my entire life."

"She's right."

Jim bumped into her shoulder playfully and she laughed. The beautiful sound bounced off the shop walls, and his heart soared, just like every time she laughed. He wanted to make her laugh for the rest of his life.

The hand that was not holding hers, was buried in his jacket pocket, clutching the little box he'd been carrying around ever since they came back to Earth two months ago. They'd talked about it many times, but while they were travelling around in space, it just never seemed like the right time. Then the five-year mission ended and neither of them was sure what they wanted to do yet. Starfleet had a lot of options for them, but they hadn't made up their mind. Whatever they decided though, they wanted to be in the same place.

Her hand slipped out of Jim's and she danced forward, her face to the dark skies, tongue sticking out. A snowflake fell onto it and she giggled. Her eyes found another one and she moved towards it, eyes blinking with every snowflake that fell onto her face. Then she caught another one on her tongue, giggling again, before setting off for another one.

Jim's heart beat hard in his chest as he looked at her. She was so absolutely beautiful in that moment, so happy, so free. They had promised each other forever, but now, Jim felt it was finally the moment to do it the right way. He took the box out of his jacket pocket and knelt right there in the snow-covered street.

"It's easy when they're so big," she said, dancing under the falling snow.

He didn't say anything but just looked at her. She seemed to sense it because she suddenly stopped and turned back around to him. Her hand flew to her mouth, covering a gasp.

"Jim?"

He gestured for her to come closer, and she did. Her steps were hesitant at first, but then surer. When she was close enough, Jim reached for her hand. "I love you, so much," he began, looking up into her astonished eyes. "I should have probably prepared a speech, but... You're everything to me. You're my peace, my home. Will you marry me?"

She sobbed but managed to choke out the answer. "Yes, Jim. Yes." Then she dropped to her knees too, and he pulled the ring out of the box and slipped it onto her finger. It was not the ring he had bought on some planet ages ago and hidden away until it became a permanent part of his pockets the last two months. His mom had once offered him the ring she got from his father, and as soon as they came to Iowa, Jim sold the first ring and replaced it with his mother's.

It fit perfectly.

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