#this was in my drafts no recollection of writing it but its based so hit post | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fueledbysprite · 4 years

Text

abandoned wips masterlist

so not too long ago i did an insta poll asking if i should expose all my abandoned fic drafts cause i mean it’s not like theyre ever gonna see the light of day otherwise. i was going to do it when i hit 3k kudos on ao3 and i did so i suppose it has come time for me to expose my mistakes

for obvious reasons, don’t repost these (idk why anyone would lol) but if you really like one of these and want to see it continued, just hit up my ask box and i may or may not consider~

Miscellaneous Fandoms:

Ninjago: Zephyr - a Morro backstory fic bc the hageman bros refuse to feed me more content of my son. barely started it but yknow its there

Miraculous Ladybug/BoBoiBoy: this failed attempt at a fanginette fic bc @secretagentspydetectiveninja got me invested even tho writers block is a binch hahshs

BoBoiBoy:

kokotiam gang angst that reminded me i cannot for the life of me write emotional angst (or any angst for that matter oop)

ramenzo (and kaifang) angst that i churned out on a saturday afternoon on a writing spike instead of doing homework bc I Do Not Control the Writing Juice

au where bbb is a forest guardian(?) and fang just wants away from Society (same fang same) i will probably be yearning for woodland aus till the day i die bc who *doesnt* wanna ditch everything and go live in the middle of the woods amirite?

ramenzo n boifang water fight bc you cant convince me these idiots dont get up to ridiculous shenanigans on their downtime

abandoned draft for the sequel to the og ramenzo fic (dont bother reading it literally nothing happens i swear)

i literally don’t remember where i was going with this i think it was supposed to be fang introspection but idk??

uhh kaifang with ramenzo vibes i think this was gonna be? i genuinely don’t remember anymore oop-

RAMENZO IN QUARANTINE yes this one was regular au (i mean duh) and it’s a shame i never ended up finishing it-

i am actually goboifang t r a s h...until i realized im going to have to make all the food by myself and i never learned to make food :’)) (fr if anyone provides me with any kind of fanon gbf content i will love you forever pls)

this...exists even tho i honestly prefer it didnt but ramenzo is ramenzo n ramen has freckles i will fite u on this (dont read it pls)

if anyone wants ramenzo crumbs (and i mean that quite practically) then feel free to consume the Specks

dont read this pls im begging just dont lets yeet it into the void it doesnt exist~ I Do Not See It

update: i discovered this uhh kaifang post-bora ra incident thing in my other drive

Miraculous Ladybug:

okay forewarning there are wayyyy too many of these so im skipping the ones that are sequels/dependent on other fics for context just to spare myself from having to sort through this mountain

i was planning to participate in chlonath week 2k19 (unfortunately for chlonath nation I Do Not Control the Hyperfixation oop) if you want context then ask

marcnath crumbs thats it thats the doc

oh look allya is self projecting again (writing is still pain) (marcnath)

for the one who requested chloenette with the dialogue prompt i am so sorry

idk why this feels like something ive posted before but then again all lovesquare is the same to me (dead) so who knows im not gonna bother checking hshsh (marichat)

chlonath go to comic con or sth idk chloe is tsundere as always (or would have been anyway if i ever ended up Finishing this)

i *think* this was based on a @terrible-miraculous-ladybug-aus post but heck if i remember now- (lukanette??)

i have absolutely no recollection as to where i was going with this but if anyone finds the concept interesting then by all means go ahead n snatch it- (manon finds the miraculous i guess?)

this is a great. opening. to a chloe fic. that doesnt exist. oof :,)

caline bustier’s home for orphans amirite (i mean she basically already adopted the whole class so)

im genuinely not a fan of the jealous!lover trope but someone in the marcnath server wanted some at one point so i. attempted. and failed but you know thats to be expected at this point :’3

oh look allya is projecting her writing struggles onto marc again is anyone surprised?

theres probably a museum brotp story in here but it doesnt exist and at this point it never will rip

oh good lord not this again i genuinely managed to forget about it for a while until now-

i just read the first line and im already reeling what the heck is this nathanette(??)

WHY IS THERE MARICHAT IN MY WIP FOLDER WHAT

allya stop projecting onto emo weebs challenge failed

i really wanna know where the context for chlonath skiing trip came from i literally have 0 recollection of this at all??

YO I ACTUALLY REMEMBER THE CONTEXT FOR THIS ONE anyway nath n aroace!alix arranged marriage au anyone?? well too bad cause i abandoned it oop-

ahahahahahahaha wdym i wrote 7k of chlonath and then ditched it i would never do that lmao-

i think this was a hunger games au uh

something something marcnath

marcnath angst i guess? *allya pls stop trying to write angst we’ve already established that is not a thing you can do*

something something chlonath

im never gonna forgive @powerdragonmoon for the fact that i thought “beecock” while glancing over this to figure out wth was going on. cholaon works here too tho so that is what i shall call it //sideways glare at moon

take your otp. now put them on a trampoline. but heaven forbid you ever finish the fic- (chlonath if it wasnt obvious)

nathanette doll au from forever ago with @lotus-duckies that was a real concept its a shame i have 0 commitment

i wanna call this lukanathanette but i honestly don’t remember where i was going with it so idk

hi uhm what is this and why is it so depressing allya fr quit self projecting on emo tomatoes oml

chlonath established relationship i guess??

museum brotp go skating?? is that what this is?

how much chlonath do i hAVE also chloe u tsundere

nathaniel is Yearning n tbh i dont blame him cause same (ft. marc)

i could swear this was gonna be luklonath (chlolukanath??) but i wouldnt be able to remember-

if anyone can figure out what’s going on with marc pls tell me bc i dont-

cholaon but theres no context

Oh god im finally done good lord that’s all of em i hope i never have to look at a mlb doc again in my life anyway pls be grateful n enjoy the crumbs n stuff thanks i sacrificed my sanity for this-

7 notes · View notes

rtirman-blog · 7 years

Text

9 Foster Avenue

Here’s where life gets a bit fuzzy for me. I can’t remember if I finished 2nd grade at P.S. 208 and then started 3rd grade at P.S. 152, or if we moved before the school year ended. We moved almost every year. I think that was because the rents went up every year. I tend to think I completed 2nd grade at 208.

*My thinking is now based on a brief phone conversation I just had with Al.

He has been reading my blog. And called to tell me to keep up the writing! He was very complimentary and encouraging. But some of my memory was faulty regarding the Old Man (referring to Daddy). Naturally, I told him, “Don’t tell me, you remember things your way, and I remember things my way…but what about Daddy?”

He told me, that Daddy didn’t go into the Army until we moved from E. 48th St. to Foster Ave.

That got me wondering why I don’t have a memory of Daddy on Linden Boulevard. As I told you, I remember those nighttime air raid drills, sitting in front of the fake fireplace…there’s no Daddy in those memories. I suppose that’s why I thought he was in the army.”

Here’s Al’s explanation: After Daddy graduated from St. John’s University Law School, he was working for a title company doing title searches. During that time, Daddy was also very active in trying to unionize the lawyers in Brooklyn. That activity led to him being blacklisted by law firms in New York. In order to survive, he took a job as a ticket receiver for the Pennsylvania Railroad. He worked second shift, which translates into him hardly ever being home when I was awake. Ergo, mistakenly, I thought it was then, on Linden Blvd., when he was in the Army. Actually, according to my brother, Mother and Daddy split while we were living on 48th Street. Daddy moved downtown, and let the Draft Board know he was no longer living with us. His draft status went from 3A to 1A, which got him drafted into the Army pretty quickly.

Thanks to Al, my memory has been “corrected”. I realize I am deferring to him being older, and therefore, he remembers those things more accurately than me. When doing this, there is a caveat or two to think about: Is it always true the oldest sibling has the best memory? And, memories are “truths” which may be important “facts” in the foundation of our individual thinking and decision making.

Anyway, we moved from E. 48th St. to Foster Avenue. To be exact, to a 5th floor apartment at 2015 Foster Avenue- the first time for me to live west of Flatbush Avenue. In fact, the first corner west of us was Ocean Avenue. I’m pretty sure 2015 Foster Avenue was on the northwest corner of E.21st Street and Foster Avenue.

So, I did start 3rd Grade at P.S. 152. For some reason, I’ve always thought 152 was a real progressive public school. Us kids would either go to school for 4 hours a day, in the mornings or 4 hours a day in the afternoons. If you had a hard time learning what they wanted you to learn, you would have to go to help sessions. So the school ran two 4-hour school sessions, a morning session and an afternoon session, with an hour help session in between, around noon. Other than that, I cannot remember a single thing about that school. But I have several pieces of memory about living on Foster Avenue.

The apartment house was 6 stories. I think we lived on the 5th floor. On the street level there was an awning, shaped like a quonset hut, with the apartment house address. It looked pretty classy to me. Funny thing, about two blocks up at Dorchester Rd and E 21st, there was an apartment house with the exact same awning, only its address said “2015 Dorchester Rd”.

Probably, both buildings had the same owner. What is incredible to me is that my Uncle Wally and Aunt Harriet lived on the first floor in the Dorchester Rd apartments.

It was at the apartment on Foster Avenue when we found out my Uncle Lloyd became “missing in action”. He was a navigator on a B-24 Liberator that went down in the China Sea. If my memory serves me right, we found that out on D-Day. Lloyd was a superb football player, and had he lived, he would have played for the New York Giants… of this, I was certain.

On the 4th of July, there was lots of excitement for me on Foster Avenue. Firecrackers were everywhere. But my favorite was a thing that looked like a badminton shuttlecock. It had feathers and a head made out of metal. There was also a metal cup that was place over the head. To use it, either match tips (from wood match sticks) or caps were put on the head. Then, the cup would be placed over it. You would then throw the whole thing in the air, and when it came down hitting the street pavement…BOOM… and you then could watch the shuttlecock, feathers and all, shoot directly up, stories high! Some of them got almost as high as the apartment house. I never saw those particular fireworks anywhere else in the City or on Long Island.

My only other recollection related to Foster Avenue is what Flatbush Avenue looked like to me.

Flatbush was just a couple of short blocks east. It had grocery stores with fruit and vegetable stands outside on the sidewalk. The interesting thing to me was so many of the people spoke Yiddish. At least, that’s what I think today. Since my grandmother lived close by, at the time, I assumed everyone was speaking Hungarian because that is what I thought she spoke. Today, it makes more sense to me that the language was Yiddish.

1 note · View note

got7doubleb · 7 years

Note

Yugbum #39 please~

“Stop acting like you don’t know how cute you are” -yugbum

So cute - Jaebum+Yugyeom, fluff, G 1k+ wordsIn the train ride back home, Jaebum thinks of how cute Yugyeom is.

a/n: this req has been sitting in my draft for almost a month and i have finally finished writing it. i am sorry it took so long! i hope this is ok and i hope you like it

it’s also based on something Yugbum said during Got2day, about Jaebum defending him with his friends.

Yugyeom bounces into the train and sitshimself across from Jaebum. The train is relatively empty except for the lateworking population and stray teens with their earphones tucked into their earsto block out the world. Jaebum allows himself to stare a Yugyeom who hadalready fished out his hand phone from his pocket to reply messages. The frizzylight brown locks of his hair were bouncing along with the train’s movement andthe smile playing on his mouth gradually getting wider. Jaebum wondered if hehad ever counted the small beauty marks that scattered across his face. (Don’tworry Jaebum knows where each one hides and how many he has in total.)

“Hyung” Yugyeom says without glancing awayfrom his phone, waking Jaebum from his train of thought. “What was the lastsong we danced to just now?”

Jaebum attempts to recollect his memoriesfor a moment. He remembers them dancing in free style at the park just momentsago with some of Jaebum’s dancing crew and he is positive both of them weregrooving to the beat. But the only thing he could recall was the sight ofYugyeom moving to the beat, his face illuminated by the dim park lights and hislight brown hair bouncing as his feet brought hm to wherever the beat was. Itwas a hypnotizing sight and the whole world seemed to disappear at that scene.

“I don’t recall” Jaebum frowns, almost asif he was afraid to let Yugyeom down. Yugyeom pouts cutely, finally making eyecontact with the elder.

“That’s too bad. I really liked it” hesighed. Jaebum feels his heart swell at the adorable way Yugyeom placed his words;he looks away from the playful expression Yugyeom shows him, shying away.

“Thank you for bringing me along” Yugyeomsays abruptly speaking in a serious tone. He waits until Jaebum looked at himbefore his face turns into a sincere smile. Yugyeom is oozing with happinessthat its infectious and Jaebum can’t help but smile back. “Even though theother hyungs probably didn’t want me around, thank you for bringing me”

Jaebum just smiled in reply.

It was true. The other members of his crewwere a bit weary when Jaebum had proposed to invite a mere high school studentto their dance meet ups. But Jaebum had insisted (with all his life) thatYugyeom was a terrific dancer and it would be fun if he was around. The resistanceslowed down once Jaebum had shown them a video of Yugyeom dancing in his talentshow. He was an awkward tall kid with all smiles and rainbows but the moment hedanced, Yugyeom was a glimmering star.

His skills could be polished but hismovement was natural to the beat and anyone who had any sort of passion fordance could see, Yugyeom loved dancing.

Itreally wasn’t a big deal.

“Hyung, can I sit next to you?”

Jaebum looked at Yugyeom who was nowstanding in front of him trying his best to balance himself on the moving trainwith a questioning look. Why would he need to ask when the seat was obviouslynot taken?

Jaebum nods anyway and Yugyeom plopped downnext to him and immediately leans himself into Jaebum’s shoulder.

“What are you doing” Jaebum asked, fakinghis angry tone to mask the obvious flush in his cheeks. He could feel hisheartbeat fastening at the contact. He tried to shrug Yugyeom away but hisattempts only seemed to make Yugyeom more determined.

“Hyung, I’m sleepy, let me!” Yugyeom pouts.His cuteness was so natural in his speech that at this proximity Jaebum couldfeel his heart want to jump out of his chest. It was so adorable.

“YAH! You’re heavy!” Jaebum (fake)complained. His attempts of shrugging Yugyeom off were abandoned completely as heallowed Yugyeom to nuzzle further into his shoulder. Jaebum could see thereflection of Yugyeom’s peaceful face in the reflection of the opposite window.His eyes shut peacefully as he tried to catch some sleep. Jaebum tries to moveto look at the other, making minimal movement so he wont jerk Yugyeom awake.Jaebum could feel Yugyeom’s hair tickle his cheek and for a moment an uge toplace a kiss on his head flashes through his mind.

Jaebum looks around in the train and seesthat there was only one other passenger sitting far from them. She was focusedon her phone and probably wouldn’t notice Jaebum placing a kiss on his head.

Would Yugyeom think it’s weird if he placeda kiss on his head?

“Yugyeommie” Jaebum murmurs softly, makingsure the younger was asleep. When Yugyeom doesn’t say anything, Jaebum bitesback a smile. He closes the distance between his lips and the part of Yugyeom’shead he could reach, feeling his heart make a ruckus in his rib cage.

“Hyung” Yugyeom groaned, making Jaebumfreeze altogether. “Stop moving”

Jaebum huffed, feeling like he should pushoff Yugyeom’s head from his shoulder from the disrespect. Jaebum’s shoulder wasfeeling stiff from how long Yugyeom was lying there. How could he justreprimand him like that.

However he doesn’t because he won’t say itout loud but Yugyeom could lie on his shoulder all he wants.

“And stop staring at me, it’s creepy”

“YAH! KIM YUGYEOM”

Yugyeom flinches away as if he knew thatJaebum was going to kill him for that comment. He had a sneaky smile etched onhis face, his eyes lost in wrinkles as he giggles to the end of the bench awayfrom Jaebum.

Jaebum flings himself towards him withdifficulty as the train moves but Yugyeom just runs further. He could feel theother passenger watching them play like children.

Yugyeom then finds a seat, still chucklingbetween his heavy breathing, hands up indefense and Jaebum tries to find hithim. Soon enough, Jaebum pouts, giving up on his revenge on Yugyeom and sitsdown next to him. Yugyeom only laughs louder.

“Stop acting like you don’t know how cuteyou are” Yugyeom chuckled.

Jaebum’s eyes fly open in disbelief becauseone, he was NOT cute; two, why was Yugyeom saying that because it’s making hisheart beat funny; three, how dare Yugyeom talk down on him like that.

Yugyeom must know what he had just donebecause he laughs louder, mumbling a little ‘so cute’ comment.

#yugbum #got7snet #got7 fics #yugyeom #im jaebum #jaebum #myfic #gotsichiwrites2017 #holykpope #ask

11 notes · View notes

okurappa · 7 years

Text

Fuʝȋkȋ Last Edition Special

In October of 1999, this column started under the name Fujiwara Intellectual Diary. It was brought back as Fujiki due in large part to the insistence of readers after a hiatus from May 2000 to March 2003. This month, after 15 years and 154 issues, Fujiki will end its long relationship with B-PASS magazine with this final edition. The B-PASS editorial department closes the curtain on this wonderful column with a heavy heart. We are grateful for our long partnership and we hope to have the chance to resume it in the future.

For the last edition of Fujiki Fujiwara wanted to do something for all the readers who have supported him over the years. In consultation with him we created this “Last Edition Special” based on your final letters. We deliver to you the following: “Reader-voted Best 2 Editions,” “Popular Illustration Pick up!” “Last Edition Special Q&A,” and “Fujiki No. 154.”

Reader-voted Best 2 Editions

Fujiki 138 (link)

Fujiwara's Comment: After this we appeared on music programs and went on tour, but I was still feeling this way through all of it. The way I was feeling and the way I was thinking never changed. I was in the studio all by myself, wasn't I, it definitely was lonely. I've written Fujiki in breaks between song-writing many times before, but whether it was from nerves or from having just played guitar, I was often too tired to hold the pen right, and my handwriting was terrible. In the above edition it was pretty bad but for me, it's better than most.

Editor's Comment: This was written after their first live in a year, the “Hello,world!/Colony” CD restricted special live in July 2015. There were a lot of readers who were touched by Fujiwara's honesty.

Fujiki 100 (link)

Fujiwara's Comment: This is also something I think about all the time. Especially because all the handwritten letters I receive from everyone always make me feel very warm. Although it was a little audacious of me, this time I drew a draft of the drawing on a separate paper as if it was a real design. But it turned out that the rough draft was more well-done than the copy, so I took a picture of it as a keepsake and it's still set at the background picture on the iPad I use to write lyrics.

Editor's Comment: This commemorative 100thFujiki was by far the favorite of our readers. The 100thFujiki special presents were a big hit!

Popular Illustration Pick up!

Last Edition Special Q&A

Looking back on the column:

Q1. Which editions do you have the best recollection of out of all of them?

A1. I remember the thematic editions well. Answering questions about a specific release, or answering questions from kids. I enjoyed having everyone come together to participate in creating it.

Q2. What's the hardest thing about writing Fujiki?

A2. My hands and eyes get tired. And my back too.

Q3. Have you discovered anything about yourself through writing Fujiki?

A3. I often caught myself responding to the letters out loud as I read them. I think I was concentrating too hard and felt like I was having a conversation.

Bread:

Q4: I have a question. You draw pictures of bread all the time. Do you like bread? My favorite picture of Nicole is the one in the 111th edition where he's riding a piece of bread.

A4. I don't particularly like it. But, sometimes, see, I think it's good. Like there are all different kinds.

Miscellaneous:

Q5. In the 9thFujiki, you said, “In my 24 years of life I've only now realized that I really like Gari Gari Kun ice cream.” Have you come across anything you like more than that since then?

A5. I like mini 4WDs, and I like hot water bottles, but when I realized I liked hot water bottles, I don't know if I liked mini 4WDs more or less at that point. You can't compare hot water bottles and mini 4WDs.

Q6. What do you enjoy in the winter? Like a type of food or something you do with the band… I enjoy making tiny snowmen and looking at the Orion constellation at night. I also like eating ice cream while sitting next to a heater.

Q6. The first thing I thought of is going back to sleep in the mornings. Also, if there are tangerines, I'll eat all of them.

Q7. I'm turning 20 this year. What was it like for you when you were 20?

A7. That was when we made our first and second albums, Flame Vein and The Living Dead. I wandered around Shimokitazawa almost every day, because I had a part time job there and that's where we played most of our live music.

Q8. What does the +++ design on your picks mean?

A8. I'm not going to explain it because, firstly, it's not anything anyone would care about, secondly, because it's a very long story, and thirdly, because it's not dramatic or anything like that. But thank you for noticing something so small.

Q9. What's something new you want to try in 2017?

A9. I want to try drinking all day starting at noon. I've never done it.

Q10. What did you do over New Year's?

A10. I did a 1,000 piece puzzle with my niece and nephews.

Q11. This year is the year of the Rooster. What would you do if you were a bird?

A11. Talk to the other birds.

Fujiki 154

At home

I took from the night of 1/19 to the morning of 1/20 to write this. I took a look at the re-printed 100th Fujiki on the other page, and I didn't really know what to write about here because everything I'm thinking is already written there. So I got out a different piece of paper and started writing down words as they came to me. They started to look like lyrics, and I got my guitar and started playing along, and then in the end it turned into a song. I hope it wasn't too annoying for the neighbors. I made sure to sing real quietly in a soft voice. Since I went to all the trouble I'll write the lyrics here for you. I didn't think that I would end up writing a song out of all the things I was thinking about in regards to this corner. I'm a little surprised myself. Please be witness to the fact that I wrote a song like this on a night like this. I'll let the other members and the staff listen to it in the coming days, but first I'm writing it here. Some time will pass between when I finish writing this and when you run your eyes over it, but I'm letting you know about first, before anything. Please be the first witnesses. I was wondering what to write here for a long time, and of course, as a musician this turns out to be the best possible ending. Thank you to everyone who supported me over the past 15 years: B-PASS, and you; you who sent me letters and you who read what I've written here. Ah, it's over. Here ends the last Fujiki.

If the need to communicate something

Is born in the night sky of someone's heart

Pull on its tail to prove it's there

And fly it towards someone else's sky

An infinite maze

A never-ending parade

If you stop, you'll drown

Moving without a goal

Until when

Until where

Flying over time and distance

From your hand, all the way here

The words written on the paper

Form a resounding voice with no sound

You've been calling to me that way

If I look up, I can hear it clearly

I want it to reach your sky

Just like yours reached mine

At the very least, I want it to shine

Bright enough that you can see it

We know where those shooting stars came from

2017.1.20 Fuji

First Draft. The title isn't decided yet. What should it be? Maybe “Nagareboshi no Shoutai” is good. Yeah, I think that's good.

#bump of chicken #bump of chicken translation #changed get weaker to drown #because I read 溺れる as 弱れる

13 notes · View notes

bountyofbeads · 5 years

Text

Behind CBS’s Secret $9.5 Million Settlement With the Actress Eliza Dushku https://nyti.ms/2zZ7axs

Behind CBS’s Secret $9.5 Million Settlement With the Actress Eliza Dushku (for "Bull" star Michael Weatherly misbehavior)

By Rachel Abrams and John Koblin/New York Times /Dec. 13, 2018/Posted December 13, 2018

In March 2017, Eliza Dushku, an actress known for her work on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” signed on to play a major role in three episodes of the CBS prime-time drama “Bull,” and there were plans to make her a full-time cast member.

Her time on the set began promisingly. The show’s star, Michael Weatherly — a mainstay of CBS��s prime-time lineup for 15 years — seemed friendly. And a producer and writer on “Bull,” Glenn Gordon Caron, told Ms. Dushku she would be more than a love interest.

Then came a series of comments that made Ms. Dushku uncomfortable. In front of the cast and crew, Mr. Weatherly remarked on her appearance, and made a rape joke and a comment about a threesome. Shortly after Ms. Dushku confronted the star about his behavior, she was written off the show. She believed her time on “Bull” came to a sudden end as a result of retaliation.

After she went through mediation with CBS, the company agreed to a confidential settlement that would pay her $9.5 million, roughly the equivalent of what Ms. Dushku would have earned if she had stayed on as a cast member for four seasons.

Details of Ms. Dushku’s experiences on “Bull” and the confidential settlement she reached with the company emerged during the course of an investigation that began in August, when the CBS Corporation board hired the law firms Covington & Burling and Debevoise & Plimpton to examine accusations of sexual misconduct made by multiple women against Leslie Moonves, the company’s former chief executive. The board also instructed the outside lawyers to investigate “cultural issues at all levels of CBS.”

In a draft of the investigation report, which was reviewed by The New York Times, the lawyers said the company’s handling of Ms. Dushku’s complaints was not only misguided, but emblematic of larger problems at CBS. When faced with instances of wrongdoing, the company had a tendency to protect itself, at the expense of victims, the investigators wrote.

Ms. Dushku declined to comment for this article. In a statement on Wednesday, CBS confirmed the settlement and pledged to improve working conditions.

“The allegations in Ms. Dushku’s claims are an example that, while we remain committed to a culture defined by a safe, inclusive and respectful workplace, our work is far from done,” the statement said. “The settlement of these claims reflects the projected amount that Ms. Dushku would have received for the balance of her contract as a series regular, and was determined in a mutually agreed upon mediation process at the time.”

In an emailed statement to The Times, Mr. Weatherly apologized for his behavior with Ms. Dushku.

“During the course of taping our show, I made some jokes mocking some lines in the script,” Mr. Weatherly said in the statement. “When Eliza told me that she wasn’t comfortable with my language and attempt at humor, I was mortified to have offended her and immediately apologized. After reflecting on this further, I better understand that what I said was both not funny and not appropriate and I am sorry and regret the pain this caused Eliza.”

Written Off

“Bull,” an hourlong procedural series that premiered in September 2016, is the 10th most-watched entertainment program on network television. The main character is loosely based on Dr. Phil McGraw, who worked as a trial consultant before he became a popular talk-show host.

Dr. McGraw is one of the producers of “Bull,” as is Mr. Caron, who created the prime-time hit “Moonlighting.” Shot mainly in New York, “Bull” is produced in association with Steven Spielberg’s Amblin Television.

Mr. Weatherly, 50, was a star of the network’s most popular drama, “NCIS,” for 13 seasons before CBS gave him “Bull.” The character he plays, Dr. Jason Bull, is a self-assured trial consultant. He is also a flirt.

CBS emphasized the character’s roguish side when it marketed the show in the summer of 2016. Billboards showed a close-up of Mr. Weatherly’s face behind a double entendre in huge red letters: “He’ll Get You Off.”

Ms. Dushku, 37, has been in show business for more than 20 years. In addition to her recurring role on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” she was a regular on the shows “Angel,” “Dollhouse” and “Banshee.” She became a voice in the #MeToo movement earlier this year when she claimed in a Facebook post that she had been molestedby a stunt coordinator as a 12-year-old on the set of the 1994 movie “True Lies.” The stunt coordinator denied her allegations.

When Ms. Dushku signed on with “Bull” at $35,000 per episode — a figure that would have increased significantly, if she had continued on the show — there were “well developed plans” to have her become a regular cast member, according to the draft of the investigators’ report.

The investigation’s findings show how Ms. Dushku sought to address conduct she found demeaning, why she believed she faced retaliation and how a top CBS lawyer tried to undermine her claims with what investigators described as an “antiquated” view of how a woman should comport herself in the workplace.

On “Bull,” Ms. Dushku played J.P. Nunnelly, a criminal defense lawyer. Although she would have a running flirtation with Mr. Weatherly’s character, Mr. Caron, the producer, said that he “wouldn’t want intimacy” until the show’s fifth season, according to notes taken by a participant in an interview Ms. Dushku gave investigators in September.

But it wasn’t long before Mr. Weatherly started making comments that left her feeling uncomfortable. “Here comes legs,” he said on a day when Ms. Dushku was wearing a suit, according to the interview notes. On another occasion, Ms. Dushku told investigators, he said in front of the cast and crew that he would bend her over his leg and spank her.

In an interview, Mr. Weatherly said the remark about spanking was meant as a joke. “I ad-libbed a joke, a classic Cary Grant line from ‘Charade’ or ‘Philadelphia Story,’ and that meant not at all that that was an action I wanted to take,” he said.

Ms. Dushku also described to investigators a time on the set when, in character, she made a gesture with three fingers. In response, she said, Mr. Weatherly suggested — to laughs from the crew — that she wanted to have a threesome with him and another male cast member.

Because of his status on the show, his behavior was contagious, in Ms. Dushku’s view. She told investigators that a crew member approached her at one point and said with a chuckle, “I’m with Bull,” before suggesting that he, too, wanted to take part in a threesome with her.

The exchange left Ms. Dushku feeling “disgusting and violated,” according to the interview notes.

Mr. Weatherly said that when he mentioned a threesome, it was not to suggest Ms. Dushku take part in a threesome with him and another cast member. “While we’re shooting, in the context of the scene, she held up three fingers, suggesting something,” he said. “And I ad-libbed, ‘Threesome?’”

Then came the shooting of a scene involving a windowless van. With the cameras rolling, in front of the cast and crew, Mr. Weatherly said he would take Ms. Dushku to his “rape van,” which, he added, was filled with phallic objects and lubricant, according to the interview notes.

Mr. Weatherly said the “rape van” line was an attempted joke that misfired. “The scripted line in that scene was, ‘Hey, young lady, step into my windowless van,’” he said. “I didn’t particularly like that line, so I joked, in order to highlight how distasteful the emphasis of the line was, about an ‘r. van,’ a rape van. Which, in retrospect, was not a good idea.”

Ms. Dushku shared her concerns with Mr. Caron, who seemed receptive, according to the interview notes, and they agreed that she would approach Mr. Weatherly.

She began by telling Mr. Weatherly that “everyone loves” him on the set and followed his lead. She pointed out that after he made the threesome comment, a crew member said something similar to her, according to the interview notes. Mr. Weatherly asked Ms. Dushku who had made the remark and why she did not report it. As Ms. Dushku later told the lawyers, she did not have the sense that there was a “safe person you could go to” with that kind of complaint.

After the talk, Mr. Weatherly sent a text to David Stapf, the president of CBS Television Studios, saying that he wanted to talk about Ms. Dushku’s sense of humor. Mr. Stapf replied that Ms. Dushku made the show better, according to the interview notes.

Around the same time, Ms. Dushku expressed the worry to her representatives that Mr. Weatherly might go to CBS and get her fired.

That is effectively what happened. Within days of confronting Mr. Weatherly, Ms. Dushku was written off the show. The plan to make her part of the cast was over. By way of explanation, Mr. Caron told her that he “didn’t know how to write” her into the show anymore, according to the interview notes.

Mr. Weatherly denied pushing for Ms. Dushku’s removal. “It’s my recollection that I didn’t tell anyone how they should do their job regarding the hiring or firing of anybody,” he said.

Mr. Caron, who joined “Bull” in 2017 and later became its showrunner, said the decision to end Ms. Dushku’s run had nothing to do with her experiences on the set. “The idea that our not exercising her option to join the series was in any way punitive just couldn’t be further from the truth,” he said in a statement.

‘Embarrassed and Humiliated’

On one of her final days on “Bull,” Mr. Weatherly insisted that she stay for a champagne toast celebrating the wrap of another season. Ms. Dushku thought that was odd, because she would not be returning and had been open about the fact that she did not drink.

During the toast, Mr. Weatherly said he needed a “really beautiful woman” to grab a ticket for a raffle. “Eliza,” he said in front of everyone, according to the interview notes, “we need you, the most beautiful woman, to come grab the raffle ticket.”

Ms. Dushku, in her final moments as part of the “Bull” sphere, played along, although she felt “embarrassed and humiliated.”

Ms. Dushku told investigators that she relayed her experiences on “Bull” to Leslee Feldman, an executive at Amblin. “If Steven ever knew about this, he would be so horrified,” Ms. Feldman said, referring to Mr. Spielberg, the chief executive of Amblin Partners, according to what Ms. Dushku said during the interview. Amblin declined to comment.

After considering a lawsuit, Ms. Dushku entered into mediation with CBS. Mark Engstrom, the chief compliance officer at CBS, participated, along with Bettina B. Plevan, a partner at the law firm Proskauer Rose, who was serving as outside counsel for the company.

Mr. Engstrom handed over outtakes from “Bull” in the belief that they would help the company’s cause, because they showed Ms. Dushku cursing on the set, investigators wrote in the draft of their report.

The strategy backfired. The outtakes were a “gold mine” for Ms. Dushku, the lawyers wrote, because they “actually captured some of the harassment on film.”

Although the investigators praised Mr. Engstrom for his “tremendous institutional knowledge” and described him as a “smart and very capable lawyer,” they said the company’s failure to recognize the instances of harassment caught on tape was a symptom of larger problems at CBS, according to the draft of their report. Mr. Engstrom declined to comment.

Mr. Weatherly, Mr. Caron and Amblin Television were parties to the settlement agreement, which prohibited Ms. Dushku from discussing her experiences on the show in exchange for the $9.5 million payment.

The settlement agreement came about in January, when the #MeToo movement was on the rise, three months after the first articles on Harvey Weinstein’s alleged sexual misconduct appeared in The Times and The New Yorker.

A history of misbehavior and sexual harassment on the part of prominent men at CBS has come to light in the last 13 months. In addition to forcing the departure of Mr. Moonves, CBS has fired two other well-known figures: Charlie Rose, a co-anchor of “CBS This Morning,” who was accused of sexual misconduct by multiple women; and Jeff Fager, the longtime executive producer of “60 Minutes,” after he sent a threatening text message to a CBS reporter looking into allegations that he had engaged in sexually inappropriate workplace behavior.

Eight months after the settlement, when Ms. Dushku sat for the interview with the lawyers investigating CBS, she said she welcomed the chance to speak her piece. “You’re all I have at this point,” she told them. “My story is true and it’s really affected me, and I can’t talk about it.”

0 notes