#til that i do in fact know what french toast is we just call it differently ('poor knights) x'D

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

for the oc emoji ask how about Pancake, Bouquet, Milky Way and Open Book for June and Ari ? :3

Thank you for the ask!! <3 🥞 PANCAKE - what is their comfort breakfast?

June: French toast! With cinnamon or cheese, depending on her mood

Arari: Baked plantains, spiced up with whatever is available but preferably savory. Roasted Cassava is a close second

💐 BOUQUET - create a bouqet for them! what do those flowers mean? are any of the flowers their particular favourite?

(note I know nothing of flower symbolism and i'm relying entirely on what i can find online for this jkgjfj)

June: Anemones (feeling forsaken, but also anticipation), carnation (pride and beauty, also capriciousness), larkspur (levity or lightness), hyacinth (playfulness and a sporty attitude and rashness), and maybe one or two protea (change and transformation, daring and resourcefulness, diversity and courage). From what I could tell white and reds/yellows/oranges were usually the colours whose meanings fit the best, so that's the palette her bouquet would have.

Arari: Iris (eloquence, wisdom and compliments, faith and hope), gladiolus (strength of character, faithfulness and honor, remembrance), statice (remembrance, sympathy and success), and a single daffodil for spice :) (regard and chivalry, rebirth, new beginnings and eternal life; a single daffodil foretells misfortune). Apart from the daffodil the rest of the bouquet would have blue and purple hues.

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

June: I knew that I wanted to play a mage because I knew DAI would be about the mage/templar conflict and I decided I would play a human because I didn't know much else about the game and wanted to stick to a more "default" option, but other than that I had literally no plan when I started the game with her lol. With Neira and Liam I had at least rough ideas, but June was 100% created on the go while I was playing

Arari: I knew he was gonna be a Qunari since that's the only race I hadn't played at at that point, and I wanted him to be noticeably different from June. Tbh I can't remember exactly how I imagined him in the beginning but I think he started out more gruff and disagreeable than he ended up being.

📖 OPEN BOOK - do they like reading? what's their favourite genre?

June: She may not look like it but this nerd loves to read actually, and loves reading scientific books if the subject is right. She'll absolutely get excited about books that cover whatever topic she is interested at that time, especially when she knows the text is not approved by the Chantry or otherwise controversial. She likes reading fiction as a passtime too, though she doesn't have a preference for any genre. Either it catches her interest or it doesn't.

Arari: He loves fiction with a well crafted plot, something that pays attention to detail, that makes you think and analyse and actively engage with the text. He is also a huge nerd for linguistics so anything playing with language will win him over

[rachelkaser]

Stay Golden Sunday: On Golden Girls

Blanche’s rebellious grandson visits, and the Girls help straighten him out. Also, we get more information about St. Olaf.

Picture it...

Blanche is upset and a wreck -- and not, as Dorothy initially assumes, because she has cellulite. Her daughter Janet is attempting to fix her ailing marriage with a second honeymoon to Hawaii, and Blanche will have to look after 14-year-old grandson, David, for two weeks. Dorothy initially grouses about having a teenager in the house while she’s studying for a French exam, but they all agree to help Blanche look after David, including taking him to see Rambo.

SOPHIA: I sat through it twice, you’ll love it. He sweats like a pig and doesn’t put his shirt on.

The next day, the girls prepare for David’s arrival, while Sophia complains about having to put up with Dorothy snoring. Blanche comes home in a panic, saying David never got off the plane. A police officer arrives with David moments later and says he stowed away on the plane while it went onto the Bahamas. David talks to the girls for a grand total of two minutes before skipping out to go hang out a burger joint, despite Blanche’s pleas for him to stay. Sophia says Blanche should have smacked him for his disrespect, but Dorothy thinks the St. Olaf story Rose was about to tell would be punishment enough.

At night, Dorothy is trying to study while Sophia goes about her very noisy toilette (which for some reason involves patting Nivea onto the backs of her hands and immediately scrubbing it off with tissues). Dorothy can’t study with the noise, so both of them turn in for the night. They argue over the amount of topical ointments Sophia’s wearing, and the hacking sounds she makes as she’s sleeping. Dorothy reminisces about how she would crawl into bed with Sophia when she was a kid and had a nightmare. They bid a fond goodnight and finally settle down.

Suddenly, loud music booms through the house, waking everyone up. They run to the living room, where David and a few other teenagers are listening to rock music on a stereo. Dorothy sends the strangers on their way and tells David to clean up. David starts to throw what can best be described as a hissy fit over not being able to have his new friends over, and starts to mouth off to all of the girls. As soon as he gets into Sophia’s face, she lands his with a resounding slap. This quickly shuts him up and sends him running from the room.

Blanche goes to check on David, who’s still reeling from Sophia’s smack. He says he wants to go home, and when Blanche tells them he can’t because his parents aren’t there, David says it’s no different from when his parents are there. He breaks down and tells Blanche how his parents neglect him because they’re always fighting, and angrily rebuffs Blanche’s attempts to comfort him.

The next day, the girls give Blanche a collected list of chores David can start doing. Blanche isn’t sure how it’ll help, but Rose and Dorothy talk about how the chores they did growing up gave them a sense of responsibility. Blanche realizes the way she raised Janet -- not having to do anything, just as she was raised -- may have contributed to David’s current behavior, and decides she’s going to make up for these mistakes by doing what’s best for him.

ROSE: Did they have chores in Sicily? SOPHIA: Are you kidding? They invented chores in Sicily. Crossing the street without getting pregnant was a chore in Sicily. DOROTHY: Rose, never mention Sicily.

One night, Dorothy catches David trying to sneak out and asks him where he intends to go and what he’s going to do. David doesn’t have an answer, but protests all the work he has to do. Dorothy accuses him of wimping out and says life is going to get a lot tougher than some chores at his grandmother’s house. David finally opens up and talks about how upset he is. Dorothy reminds him that he’s surrounded by people who care about him and he’ll always be welcome, good-naturedly negotiating a chore exchange and cheering him up.

Some time later, the girls are having dinner with David, celebrating Dorothy passing her French exam. They also toast David’s improved attitude. He says that it “hasn’t been half-bad” and earnestly asks the girls to let him live with them permanently. Sophia hustles him out for ice cream and tells Blanche to call his mother. Blanche gets Janet on the phone and says David’s so happy at her home that she’s going to keep him. While we can’t hear Janet, she naturally protests. Blanche acknowledges she can’t keep him against his parents’ will, but gives Janet a stern warning about the consequences of neglecting him further.

BLANCHE: If you and Michael don’t straighten up and given that boy the love and attention he deserves, I will kick your uppity butt ‘til Hell won’t have it again!

The girls say goodbye to David, who’s going to join his parents in Hawaii. Blanche tells him to give his parents a chance, and Dorothy reassures him that he’ll always have a place with them. After he’s gone, the girls hope he’ll be okay. Sophia, meanwhile, will be happy not having to live with Dorothy’s infamous snores anymore.

“What are you trying to do, pickle yourself so you’ll live to be 100?”

I’m swiftly going to run out of ways to say “this is the first time the girls do X” but it’s the first season, so there are a lot of first times. While this isn’t the first time we’ve seen the girls with one of their offspring, this is the first time we’ve seen them do some parenting and discuss parenting.

ROSE: I just fixed a special treat for David. It’s the same little afterschool snack I used to make for my own son: A triple-decker BLT, a hearty helping of homemade potato salad, and a great, big slice of double chocolate fudge cake. DOROTHY: Oh, where was he going after school? The electric chair?

It’s actually kind of heartbreaking that it’s in a case of child abuse that we get to see them show off their parenting skills -- but I do appreciate that they cut David some slack and get to the root of his issues. I think a lesser show would just have the rebellious teenager “learn something” from his grandma and her friends and shape up, but Blanche instead gets him to open up about the real problem, which is that his parents are too wrapped up in their own problems to take care of him -- not to mention, as Blanche keeps mentioning, his father’s a Yankee.

I mean, this poor kid is so emotionally starved he thinks his parents would be thrilled to get rid of him -- and that’s unambiguously shown to be their fault, not his. Dorothy’s little speech challenging him not to give up on the people who’re actually making an effort to help him is a believable exchange between a teenager and a teacher. Fun fact: Billy Jacoby, the actor who plays David, was 16 when this episode aired.)

While I know it couldn’t happen within the confines of the show, part of me wishes he really could live with Blanche and the girls. I’m not sure if it was not as common for kids to be raised by their grandparents in the late 80s, but it certainly wouldn’t be unusual today. Still, if anything, this is the first time we get an idea of how hands-off a parent Blanche was, and how much she’d like to make up for that -- that’s definitely something that’ll come up again later in the show. 

For what it’s worth, she strikes me as one of those people who’s a better grandparent than parent, but she does do some parenting in this episode: namely, her harsh correction of Janet, who’s too wrapped up in her own problems to take care of David. Blanche may not approve of Sophia’s more brutal forms of correction, but her going off on her daughter was no less impressive than that slap.

Now I’m gonna go on record to say I disapprove of hitting children. While I don’t have any of my own yet, I don’t believe children should be hit on the face or anywhere else as a punishment or preventative measure -- nor should anyone, if I’m being honest. However, I will say that I don’t think that’s what Sophia was doing. Her smack was more akin to when you slap someone who’s hysterical -- David was clearly whipping himself into a froth and any attempts to talk him down or intimidate him weren’t working, so Sophia administered a little… percussive intervention to bring him back down to earth.

Like Dorothy says later, it comes from a place of caring, and I think Sophia of all characters knows when something like that will help rather than hurt... melon baller notwithstanding. I do appreciate that Dorothy and Sophia’s interactions, both when they’re arguing and when they’re sharing fond memories, shows a healthy dynamic between parent and child to contrast what poor David is going through. There’s not much of a B-plot to this episode aside from Dorothy’s French exam, and much of it centers around the single scene of the two arguing in bed, but it’s by far the funniest scene in the whole episode.

Having watched all of the episodes up to this point -- and spending roughly a week over-analyzing each episode -- I think this is the first time we’ve ever gotten some true St. Olaf stories. Given that Blanche, Dorothy, and Sophia have their assigned “tasks” in the episode, the writers decided to give Rose the job of adding a little color and humor to the episode.

They do this by having Rose describe some stories from her home life on the farm, including Alice, the cow you had to milk while sitting on a stool -- as in, she sits on the stool. It’s our first indication that something isn’t quite right about the place where Rose comes from, though we only have her responsibilities as a child to go by. It’s not going to be the last time we hear about it, by a longshot, but it’s a great teaser of the sort of bizarro logic that St. Olaf runs on. And I really want to hear now what the heck happened to Alice that she had to sit on a stool.

By the way, the title is a reference to On Golden Pond, a film which also features a teenage boy bonding with grandparents -- and part of me wonders if this whole plot happened because they just couldn’t resist the reference to another well-known “Golden” thing.

Episode rating: 🍰🍰🍰 (three cheesecake slices out of five)

Best part of the episode:

BLANCHE: Is that all you Italians know how to do -- scream and hit? SOPHIA: No, we also know how to make love and sing opera.

[creek-cryptid-deluxe]

Ok my dudes, dudettes, & various cryptids, we gotta talk about something. A health something.

So if you've followed me at all, you know I have vEDS & that my hypermobility is pretty gnarly in that my joints are stupid levels of unstable. I think many of you have probably caught on to the fact that I wasn't diagnosed until pretty late in the game... like 4 yrs ago when I was 30. For as bad as my symptoms are, I should have shown significant symptoms & signs as a youngster, someone should have noticed, right? It seems super sketchy that I have a lifelong genetic disorder in a really bad way but nobody noticed til I was 30.

I definitely get that. That shit is sketchy as hell, unless you know how I was raised. Allow me to shed light upon why I'm a weird outlier regarding treatment/diagnosis of EDS.

I guess let's start at the beginning. I was born to a workaholic man & a schizoaffective woman who was upset that I was not a boy. When the doctors pulled me out, my hips were dislocated entirely. Like just dangling. But my mother was so "distressed" (aka throwing a crazy bitch fit over something insane) that they didn't want to trouble her or my father with it. They told my dad's mom. She... told nobody.

As a baby/toddler/preschooler, I fell. A lot. Like, an abnormal amount & for seemingly no reason. My knees & elbows bent backward. But dad was always working & mom was crazy.

When I was 4, they split, & dad got with my stepmother.

The first memory I have of this woman is her laughing at 4 yr old me & calling me stupid with an amount of venom in her voice that I was used to from mom (who still hated me for not being a boy). Why was 4 yr old me stupid & deserving of ridicule? Because I'd never seen french toast, but knew what toast was, so I made the toast connection & tried to eat the sticky mess with my hands. You know... LIKE TOAST.

Anyway, i remember my entire childhood having neck, back, & joint pain. The joint pain would get so bad that elementary school aged me would cry myself to sleep most nights. Dad was still always working & the stepmom told me that either I was faking for attention or that I just had the regular pains everyone has, I was just a baby & sucked at coping.

I can remember popping my hips partially in & out (obviously not knowing what I was doing) when I was absent mindedly thinking because I liked the noise it made. I remember the stepmom starting a nickname that stuck within the family for YEARS: flamingo girl because my elbows & knees went so far backwards. I remember the running family jokes about how I would be "just standing there, then fell over for no reason". I was told I was clumsy & so uncoordinated they were surprised I could get food into my mouth.

Still, I was told it was normal, despite nobody else having these problems.

My shoulder started sliding out of socket regularly on the playground or during normal activities during elementary school. The first time it happened at school, I went to the nurse. My stepmom reluctantly came to get me & take me to the doctor while telling me I was faking to get out of school.

When I was 7, I started getting pneumonia every winter. She berated me for having the nerve to be "so disgustingly sickly".

When I was 8, I started getting what looked like migraines every couple months, but was never taken to a doctor. I was put in a dark room with a cold compress & grounded for attention seeking. Around this time, schools still did scoliosis checks & found mild curvatures in my back. Nothing was ever brought up about that again.

When I was 11, my knee fully dislocated at school. I was told I did it on purpose to make her look bad. She had a friend who was a psychiatrist treat me for mental illness that I didn't have because the doctor, being her friend, didn't even speak to me. Just took her word for it regarding my alleged behavior & my mother's mental health. I was drugged & pulled out of school for an intensive outpatient program where I said nothing. Saying nothing was safest. The one time I spoke of her other outright abuse, I was punished.

All this time, my father was working himself to death because she popped out 2 other kids, bringing the count to a total of 4, & refused to work. He had no idea what was happening.

So I grew up thinking my body was normal, I just sucked at dealing with it. I didn't get any idea that it wasn't until my mid 20s but by then, I was a parent & was juuuust making ends meet, so I couldn't figure out what was happening, even if I wanted to. So I pushed through as my dislocations & migraine like headaches got more frequent & more devastating.

Then, around 30, after 4 organ ruptures of unknown causes & a lifetime of ignored dislocations, hypermobility, pneumonia, & migraines, my body had enough. Things really went downhill & it snowballed pretty fast. It still took until I was 32 to get a proper diagnosis.

Since then, everyone has been trying to play catch up. By that time, my tendons & ligaments had become so fragile that PT actually did a load of damage in the form of tearing. My hips & knees slid out slightly when I walked, resetting themselves when I put my foot back on the floor. I was rx'd a power chair (which I still waited nearly 2 years to get & still only use for long trips). I had serious GI problems. The migraines (which are tension headaches) were happening weekly (now daily).

So in summary, this could have been prevented with early intervention & proper care. But unfortunately I was the victim of abuse & negligence. And that, my dears, is why I am a weird outlier.

If you take ONE thing from this, I hope it is that you pay attention & listen to your kids. Don't blow them off when they say something is wrong or you see evidence that something is wrong.

If you've made it this far, thank you for listening to my rant/explanation of how EDS can be THIS bad & go unnoticed for so long.

Also, there is no need for "I'm sorry" or pity. I know how hard my life has been & I went through a decade of therapy to get over the PTSD & such from my childhood. It's just an explanation & cautionary tale.

[missjanjie]

Signed, Sealed, Delivered | (2/?)

Title: Signed, Sealed, Delivered Summary:   Jan is in love with her French pen pal, Nicky. Her roommate, Crystal, is in love with her best friend, Gigi. A (perhaps ill-thought out) plan emerges: give Nicky a reason to visit by inviting her to Crystal and Gigi’s wedding. With a month to pull the scheme together, no one knows how this will end up. Word Count: 2.9k (this chapter) / 5.8k (total) Relationship(s): Sportsdoll (Jan Sport/Nicky Doll), Crygi (Crystal Methyd/Gigi Goode Rating: T (so far)

Read on AO3

and thanks to @janssports for beta-ing~

-

Crystal had spent two days trying to figure out how to explain this new situation to Gigi. She considered testing the waters by joking about it, then thought maybe she should just rip the Band-Aid off and tell her outright. But any train of thought drove her right into a wall. And Jan wasn’t much help either.

“Maybe you could text her,” Jan had mused offhandedly. She was trying to help as much as she could – her suggestion was made while she was sitting in front of her laptop researching what actually went into planning a wedding, method acting, if you will. They were committed to this lie now, it seemed like there was no choice but to go all in.

“Text her?!” Crystal’s eyes were wide, she couldn’t possibly be serious. “I can’t just be like, ‘Hey Geege, Jan told Nicky we’re getting married lol T-T-Y-L and hope for the best.”

“Well, obviously not that, no one says T-T-Y-L anymore.”

“Jan!”

Jan sighed, spinning her desk chair around to face her. “I’m sorry, but I already have a lot of ground to cover. Telling Gigi is your job.”

Crystal threw her head back and whined. “But I don’t wanna.”

“Would you rather I do it?”

She quickly put her hands up in surrender. “No, no, I got it,” she assured. “She’s still at the studio, I’ll just… go there and tell her when she’s finished. I’ll call you if I need backup.”

“Get it done, sis.” Jan hummed before turning back to the screen, mumbling under her breath about how unreasonably expensive wedding bouquets are. “They’re flowers. Why would you pay that much for fucking flowers?”

And Crystal had hoped the walk she took from there to the studio would help her build her nerve, but she was hit with a new wave of anxiety the moment Gigi saw her.

Gigi waved her over, not straying from her work station. “I’ll be about another fifteen minutes or so, but you can just hang out if you don’t mind waiting.”

“Oh, yeah, no that’s fine,” she assured, sitting at one of the empty stations. On a normal day, she would enjoy watching Gigi at work. There was something almost magical about watching someone create art they were passionate about that Crystal found absolutely entrancing. Plus, it was Gigi – she could watch her read the phone book.

“So, what’s up with you?” Gigi asked casually, holding up two different types of lace against white fabric.

Crystal wasn’t sure what she opened her mouth to say, but she ended up blurting out, “We need to pretend to be getting married when Nicky comes here to visit Jan.”

That stopped Gigi in her tracks. She set the lace down and turned to face her friend. “I’m sorry, what?”

Crystal took a deep breath, feeling almost relieved that she had ripped the bandage off, but still worried that she wouldn’t be able to explain herself in a way that would actually get the other girl on board with this charade. “So… here’s the thing. Jan obviously really wants to see Nicky in person, but they haven’t been able to commit to a plan. So I, being the super smart person I am, suggested she tell her there’s an event coming up that she should fly out for. And… long story short that event is our wedding and now we’re along for the ride.”

Gigi blinked, taking the time to digest the information she received. “What the fuck, Crystal?” She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “Well, when’s the ‘wedding?’”

“In like, a month. Maybe two.”

With her lips still in a fine line, Gigi let out a strangled noise of frustration. “In a month or two,” she repeated, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. “You know what? Fuck it, let’s do what we have to do.”

Crystal felt a massive weight lift from her chest and she exhaled deeply. “Really?”

“I mean, I’m never gonna let you hear the end of it, but yeah. Sure. Why not?” She shrugged. Glancing over at her dress, she decided she’d done enough work for the day. “I guess we better reconvene with Jan then.”

As she pushed herself back to her feet, Crystal still felt a little lightheaded. Sure, she was thanking every possible deity that Gigi was on board with this half-baked scheme, but now she would have far fewer chances to suppress and ignore her feelings. “Yeah, she’ll definitely appreciate that.”

When they did return to the apartment, Jan was still on her laptop in her room, deeply immersed in her research. It took Crystal and Gigi getting right in front of her for her to even become aware of her presence. “Oh, hey guys,” she greeted, setting her laptop next to her on the bed before looking at Crystal. “Did you tell her?”

“Very subtle, Jan,” Crystal retorted flatly. “But yes, I told her.”

“When did you tell Nicky to come here?” Gigi asked.

Jan shrugged. “I didn’t give a specific date yet. So, you know, work that out amongst yourselves. Also, you guys should get registered at some stores. At least that way if someone stumbles upon it, you could get like… a toaster or something.”

“I do love toast,” Gigi mused. “But I wanna know just how far we’re taking this. Like, are Crystal and I gonna pretend to get married? Do we break up? Or are you gonna wait til after you get Nicky in bed with you and then tell her the truth?”

“I… haven’t actually gotten that far yet,” she admitted. “I don’t think we should stage a fake wedding, though. Because then you guys are just gonna have to keep up the act indefinitely or get a fake divorce. We’ll work it out as we keep going.”

Crystal leaned against Jan’s desk, finally coming to terms with the fact that the three of them were definitely not backing out of this, that there was no chance of just scrapping the plan and calling it a day. “So other than that, what do we need to do?”

Jan picked her laptop back up. “We need to make a couple of invitations, I figure we could just get one or two free samples, just to send one to Nicky and keep one for our own records. Crystal needs to rent or borrow a dress, and we should probably go through the motions of planning a wedding without like, going fifty thousand dollars in debt.”

“Rings!” Gigi suddenly exclaimed. “What are we gonna do about rings? That’s a pretty fucking important part of being engaged.”

Crystal and Jan looked at each other, both of them searching for an answer, but there was the slightest bit of amusement in their expressions when it became clear that Gigi was now taking this as seriously as they were. “I’m sure we could get some convincing fake ones online. It’s not like she’s a professional jewelry appraiser,” Jan suggested.

“I’m not wearing something that’ll turn my finger green,” Gigi warned with a grave deadpan. “I’ll see if my mom has anything we can borrow. She has a collection of vintage and like, random, unique jewelry. I’m sure she’ll let me temporarily poach something off of her.”

Jan arched her brow. “So you’re gonna rope her into this too? Or are you gonna give her some other excuse?”

That gave Gigi pause, and she realized she was either going to bring another person into the party or dig all of them into a deeper hole. “I should probably just tell her,” she decided, the other two girls nodding in agreement.

“I would really like to watch this conversation take place,” Crystal piped up.

“Well, why don’t you guys do that? I’ve got a call with Nicky in ten,” Jan chimed in, looking at her phone.

“Well, far be it for us to interrupt your sexy Skype session,” Gigi retorted with a soft laugh. “Come, Crystal,” she curled her finger, and the two of them left Jan to her own devices.

Jan waved them off before getting up to fix her hair and makeup in the mirror, then moved her laptop to her desk so she could look at the screen dead-on. When she saw Nicky calling, she beamed brightly as she answered it. “Well damn, what sort of runway are you dressed up for?”

Nicky laughed and looked down. Her hair was styled up in a bouffant and the normally straight locks were in gentle waves. Her makeup – which Jan knew she did herself – was immaculate beyond reproach. “Don’t jinx it, I had my friend take some headshots for my portfolio today. So, fingers crossed there are runways in the future.”

“It’s basically a given, I can just tell,” Jan grinned, her elbows propped on her desk and face in her hands. The look in her eyes was full to the brim with enamored adoration; even she was surprised that Nicky hadn’t picked up on her feelings. “And then I’ll get to say I knew you way back when.”

“Bitch please,” she scoffed. “If I ever get famous, you know I’m flying your ass out here first class. It wouldn’t be fun without my sweet Janice by my side.”

She blushed, her hands moving from her face to stroke her ponytail. Hearing Nicky call her ‘hers’ in any capacity had her heart ready to leap right out of her chest. It was times like that that made her wonder if it would’ve been that crazy for her to profess her feelings, if she was building all of this fear and anxiety over owning her feelings for nothing. It sometimes felt like a declaration of love was dancing on the tip of her tongue, threatening to slip past her lips.

But nothing was ever enough to get her over that hurdle. Her stubborn fear of rejection outweighed even common sense. So, instead, she kept it sweet and vague. “Well, you know I’ll always be there whether you like it or not.”

“I’m offended you think there’s a chance I wouldn’t.” Nicky scoffed playfully. “Anyway, what have you been up to today?”

“Oh, just… helping the girls with planning and stuff.” It was technically true, so she counted it as one less lie she was telling her. She found that the easiest thing to do was to just keep the focus off herself until she felt more confident in this charade. “It’s just boring details really. Have you been working on learning any songs lately?”

Nicky shook her head. “Actually, I was hoping to convince you to sing for me,” she cooed, batting her lashes in an over-exaggerated manner.

It was a look that Jan was an undeniable sucker for that look, and she was certain that Nicky had figured out that much. “I suppose I could do that. Any requests?”

Nicky tilted her head, taking a moment to think. “Can you do that one from Grease? The magic one?”

Jan giggled softly, knowing she meant ‘Those Magic Changes.’ The song had been buried in her repertoire for ages until she’d stumbled upon a clip of her performing it in her freshman year of college. She’d sent it to Nicky, just thinking it’d be a cute throwback of sorts, but her penpal absolutely loved it, and brought it up every time she could. She didn’t quite get it, but she was thrilled that there was something she could do that would make her so happy. “For you? Of course.”

Once Jan found the karaoke version of the song on her phone, she played it and sang along, serenading Nicky as she’d done a number of times. While it was night time in France, it was still late afternoon for her, so she wasn’t concerned about the volume. Though, even if it had been later, she probably would have risked it – it just wouldn’t be the same if she used her ‘neighbor friendly’ voice.

Nicky applauded cheerfully when Jan finished. Her eyes were bright and warm with the enthusiasm of a child who just heard their favorite bedtime story despite getting it every night. It simply never got old for her. “You’re going to have to sing me to sleep every night once we’re in the same time zone,” she mused.

“You know I will,” Jan smiled softly, her mind conjuring up the image of the two of them laying in bed together, cuddled up close after a long day. Nicky would hold her in her arms while she sang to her, then fall asleep in her embrace, knowing she would sleep soundly because she got to wake up in her arms. She already knew what she smelled like, thanks to her scented letters, and longed to be able to wake up to it lingering on her skin instead of soaked into paper, she just yearned for the day where none of her senses were deprived of the other girl.

“You’re so good to me,” she cooed.

“That’s right, now I’m going to remind you to take that makeup off.” She chuckled. “It’s like, a quarter to eleven where you are, I don’t want you falling asleep with all that on.”

Nicky snorted softly. “There it is.” She rolled her eyes fondly, then reached across her desk. “I came prepared for this,” she explained, holding up a pack of makeup wipes. And, just to assure her she was actually following through, she took a wipe out and began cleaning off her face.

Jan grinned triumphantly. “See? I knew I’d start to rub off on you sooner or later.” Of course, she was guilty of just as many bad habits, if not more. But that was beside the point as far as she was concerned. Either way, she watched until Nicky had finished cleaning off her face, and she almost found it unfair that someone could be even more flawless underneath the makeup.

“Okay, I’m going to get ready for bed before you lecture me about that too,” Nicky teased. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, bye!” She blew a kiss at the screen before they ended the call.

After the call ended, Jan closed her laptop and got up to look in the mirror. She stared at herself, silently questioning why she was like this, so hopelessly taken with someone that it clouded her judgement, that she let thoughts of her cloud both her waking thoughts and her dreams. It was as frustrating and painful as it was intoxicatingly addictive.

The only thing that pulled Jan from her train of thoughts was her phone ringing, and she nearly dropped it as she got it out from her pocket. “What’s up, Crystal? Please tell me this isn’t a crisis call.”

“No, no, everything’s fine,” Crystal quickly assured. “We’re at Gigi’s mom’s house and she invited us to stay for dinner. So I won’t be back for like… another couple hours, give or take.”

“Oh, okay, cool. I take it the ring issue was taken care of?”

Crystal beamed, admiring the ring on her finger as if Gigi had actually proposed to her with it. “Everything’s fine on that front, trust me. I have to send you a picture of this, you’re gonna die.”

Jan laughed lightly. “I’m sure I will. Go ahead, then enjoy your dinner. Tell Mama Goode I said hi.”

“Can do,” Crystal assured before hanging up, her eyes still trained on the ring. The ring itself was rose gold, the band carved with vine-like design. The diamond at the center was square-cut and surrounded by tiny, round diamonds. While just towing the line of being over-the-top, it had the sort of unique, quirky vibe that made it perfect for someone like her.

“It’s like it was made for you,” Gigi had told her when she picked it out. “It’s actually kind of spooky.” She had picked out a ring for herself as well, one that had more of an antique aesthetic that she appreciated. It was gold with diamonds embedded along the band, centering an ornately-bordered radiant-cut diamond. It wasn’t as flashy as Crystal’s, but she was drawn to the details in the ring.

When they put their left hands on the table next to each other, they noted that there weren’t any significant similarities between what they’d chosen, but both of their personalities seemed properly represented. “We should have a little hand-modeling shoot for this,” Gigi mused, figuring she could ask her mom for help with that as well. They had explained their circumstances right away, and much to their relief, Gigi’s mom had found their story to be very funny and agreed to help however they needed under the condition that she could retell the tale once everything was over with. Crystal was happy to agree to these conditions, while Gigi did so more reluctantly.

Crystal wouldn’t admit as much, but as she sat down for dinner with the Goodes, it felt all too right. Like she was just having a meal with her future wife and mother-in-law, the energy that flowed among the three of them was always so calm and natural, even-keeled and even quiet at times. It was a stark contrast from her own family dinners in both positive and negative ways. But when it came down to it, what stood out the most to her was that she felt so perfectly at home with them, she couldn’t help but wish this at least felt fake. It would be easier to bear when it was all over.

[braincoins]

Based on @eijiroukiriot‘s excellent idea:

She’d fought for Newt and Bishop to be allowed to testify, too, but it didn’t make a difference. The tribunal didn’t want to hear from a child - even if she had been on colony since the beginning of The Incident (the only way it was referred to, aside from the more specific “The LV-426 Incident”) - and for some reason didn’t trust an android, despite his recollections being arguably clearer and more straightforward.

She suspected that Newt and Bishop had been stricken from the tribunal’s witness list because their testimony would be too damning. Instead, only she and Hicks were allowed, because their testimony could be minimized, their characters impugned in some way: Hicks was a grunt, he’d been injured (and thus presumably traumatized, calling his recollections into doubt), and, most importantly, he wasn’t the one who’d seen the colony’s logs. He wasn’t the one who’d been locked in a lab with two facehuggers. He knew only what she’d told him.

And, of course, she had those two not-so-little words in her file: “psychometric probation.” It didn’t matter that The Incident proved she hadn’t been crazy. What they were likely to see and hear was a woman who had already blown up one piece of expensive equipment and was now responsible for another. She’d be painted as the mastermind, the ringleader. They’d claim she went specifically to blow up the colony. I might as well be some sort of terrorist. 

She and Hicks met with the lawyers who had brought suit against The Company. They provided as much information as they could, but most of their evidence had either blown up or had been taken by The Company. They spent hours being prepped, being told to remain calm on the stand, being told how to say what they had to say so it’d come across in the best light. It wasn’t quite lying. It was “a purposeful way of describing the truth.” 

They were given keycards for a local hotel; the lawyers were putting them up at their own expense. You mean the expense of your clients, who lost friends and family members at Hadley’s Hope. She took the keycard though. The rooms had already been paid for. She shared a look with Hicks and knew: they would not be ordering room service or raiding the mini-bar.

They were taken to the hotel: nothing fancy, she was relieved to see, but not a dump. The room they’d been given had two queen-sized beds, shared a single nightstand between them, and overlooked the UV-and-pollution-shielded pool. There wasn’t a mini-bar, but there was a small fridge and a quickcook, along with that most blessed of all inventions: a coffee-maker. 

“This is nicer than my last apartment,” she commented. 

“Nicer than anywhere I’ve ever lived,” Hicks replied. “Which bed you want?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“I’ll take the one by the door then.” He dropped his USCM-issued duffel on that bed. 

She turned to smile at him. “In case a Company-paid assassin breaks in and tries to kill us?” When he half-smiled and shrugged, she snorted and shook her head. “Still trying to protect me?”

“Hey, a Company-paid assassin could very well come in through the window,” he said, gesturing to the wide pane of shatter-proof glass. “Then you can protect me.”

She gave up and set her bag down on the bed by the window. Let him have the one by the door. Ultimately, he was right: it didn’t really matter. And it probably made him feel better to have someone to protect.

They split the duties: he went down to the konbini to pick up some food for them; she called Bishop to check up on Newt and Jones (since she’d left them both in his care). Then she took a shower and changed into a clean tank top and soft shorts. She was just coming out when the door beeped and Hicks walked back in.

“Just me,” he said. 

“You always say that,” she pointed out. 

“You always jump when the door opens,” he replied.

“You do it to Newt and Bishop, too.”

“Old habits.” He set the bag down on the small table. “I got an assortment; we’ll be here for a bit, after all.”

She wandered over. “Any beer?”

He chuckled as he pulled out a six pack and an already-chilled bottle, handing her the latter. “Got some water, too.” He moved to put the six-pack in the fridge.

She pulled the cap off and took a swig. “Insta-toast for the morning?”

“You a mind reader?” he asked.

“I wish.” She turned and went to sit on the edge of her bed. “I wouldn’t have gone back.”

He stopped unloading and turned to her. “You shouldn’t have had to. Burke lied to you, used the fact that you’d been through hell to bait you.”

“But if I hadn’t...” She sighed and looked him in the eye... the one remaining, anyway.

He held her gaze and then abruptly turned back to unpacking his haul. “Our lives don’t mean that what happened to you was right.”

“I know. But it makes me feel a little better.”

He was quiet a long moment. Then, “I’m glad.” He pulled out another chilled beer, popped the top, chugged it ‘til it was half gone before setting it down. “So, what’s your pleasure? French bread pizza? Ham and cheez omelet?”

“Ugh, I can hear the ‘z’ in ‘cheez’ when you say it.”

“Got some chicken fried rice, some pot roast with vaguely-gravy-flavored slime...”

She snorted and stood, taking another drink as she approached the bag. She grabbed the first one she saw. “I’ll take this one.”

“No cornbread with that one, so you should be safe.”

“You are never letting that go, are you?” she asked with a chuckle.

“Nope!” He grinned as best his scarred face was able and grabbed his beer. “I’m going to hit the shower; I’ll eat when I come out.”

“You’re going to drink beer in the shower?”

“Only way to do it sometimes. Back in Basic, we weren’t allowed booze, so if someone snuck in some beers, you’d sneak it into the head or into the showers, chug like your life depended on it. So, sometimes, I still do it. Just... like a salute to the old days.”

She nodded. “Just don’t fall down drunk in there. I’ll have to come save you.”

“Again.” He went to his duffel to get a change of clothes.

Her nod was a little more solemn this time. “Again.”

“Eat something,” he said. “If I come out and I don’t see you eating, I’m going to make you eat something else while I watch.”

“You’re not my father!”

“And you’re not the only one who can call Bishop and talk to Newt. I am under specific orders to make sure you take care of yourself.”

She huffed in mock-anger. “That little fink...”

“Eat,” he said again, before heading into the bathroom.

When the door shut behind him, she unwrapped the konbini meal she’d selected - it claimed to be penne with marinara - and shoved it into the quickcook. Less than a minute later, she sat down to partially-molten gluten tubes with sweetened ketchup (if you wanted to be honest about the taste). It came with a side of soggy cardboard that smelled sort of like garlic, and “a brownie” that was actually the best part of the whole meal, since it was basically a chocolate sponge.

Hicks came out in USCM-issued boxers, dog tags jingling. “Aw, you ate the brownie already. I was gonna ask if I could have it.”

“Never,” she said. “But I promise you can have all my cornbread for the rest of our lives.”

They both laughed, and he heated up the alleged chicken fried rice, dropping the tray on the table opposite her and taking his seat. They talked about anything except the tribunal, which they both viewed as a lost cause, or the media surrounding the case. They talked politics, sports, Newt’s improvement in grades since switching schools. They talked vaguely about therapy, about any chance of surgery for Hicks, but they never mentioned what they said to their doctors, never talked about why Hicks needed facial reconstruction and half a biomechanical heart in the first place.

Plastic trays & flatware in one recycle bin, glass beer bottles in the other. “I’m surprised you spring for the glass ones,” she said.

“Tastes better.”

“Mm.”

They tried to watch TV, but nothing caught her interest or his. Eventually, they gave up and turned in for an early night. She activated the dark setting on the windows and crawled into her bed, scooting under the covers before she reached out to turn off the light. “Good night, Dwayne. Don’t dream.”

“Yeah, you, too, Ellen.” The lights went out.

She’d told Newt, as they’d headed back to Earth, that maybe they could dream now. She’d wanted that to be true. But the reality was that dreams were never safe. She felt like she had fewer nightmares but that they were so much worse now. Falling asleep was a gamble, and not one she was always sure she wanted to take. 

She watched Hicks roll over, putting his back to her. He’d chosen to sleep on one side of the bed, the side closest to the door. He was still thinking tactically, still putting himself between her and danger. He still wanted to protect her. 

She watched his breathing even and slow and still couldn’t fall asleep. She rolled over, put her back to him, and stubbornly closed her eyes. Sleep stayed out of reach. But the fear that rose up this night wasn’t of losing any of her new friends; it wasn’t memories of what had happened; it wasn’t even her now long-held fear that she’d been... implanted with one of those things. 

He wants to protect me, even when there’s nothing to protect me from. What happens when he realizes that? Will he leave then, duty done? Will he just walk back out of my life like everything that happened on LV-426 was just another day at the office?

It was ludicrous. It was laughable. Hicks wasn’t like that. No one could be like that. It was impossible to come through something like that and not be changed. But her fears weren’t rational. They slithered through her like acid in her blood, laying terrible thoughts in her mind.

It was so impulsive, she didn’t even think about it. It was as if she were reacting out of survival instinct: she threw off the covers of her bed, rose, and crossed to his. When she pulled the covers back on this side of the bed, he rolled over - he hadn’t been asleep at all, apparently. She laid down and scooted towards him; he welcomed her into his arms. 

If this were a movie, there’d be some moment of desperate passion here, some long-standing need to have one another that overcame them both. But right now, all she needed was to know he was here. And, it seemed, having her here was all he needed as well. 

They held each other, and she slept better than she had in ages. Sometimes, her eyes would open in the dark, and she’d find him there next to her, scarred but still breathing. She’d fall back asleep listening to the deep, soft inhale and exhale of him. And she had no need to dream, because he was right here beside her.

[peaches-of-1]

(Y/N), Namjoon, and The Great Comet of 1812 (Cont)

This is part 2 of this story. I’ll be releasing them all today, so don’t worry about missing any or having to wait long for the next part.

Changes: Russia is changed to Korea. Hanboks and such are worn. Instead of French being high language, it is English. Everyone is speaking in Korean, but since English is the language I am writing in, them actually speaking in English will be denoted by (^) being around the word(s). Example ^I love you^

Mstrlst in bio!

After the show, Jin and his sister went to her place for a bit, still in good spirits and not wanting the night to end. Hyolyn just wanted to grab her purse and leave, but her brother ended up talking to her husband while she scoffed and left ahead of them all.

Jin bowed to the younger but richer man, “Good evening, Namjoon, studying?” Namjoon replied, “Yes, how was the opera?” “Lovely~ (Y/N) was there.” He perked up at the mention of her name, “Oh? Dear Jackson's betrothed?” The man looked away from his book and towards Jin. “I have known her family for years and long carried affection for her.”

Seokjin rolled his eyes. The amount of times he had been told this were astounding, “Yes… charming.” He clapped his friend’s shoulders. “Look, Yoongi’s coming around, and we're off to the club. Will you come, old man?”

Drinking? And he wouldn’t be alone?

Joon’s reply, “I will come.”

“Lend me 835.53 won?”

Yoongi entered the room jamming to a tune he often sung when excited, “Drink, drink. Gonna drink tonight. Gonna drink tonight. Gonna drink, gonna drink, gonna drink tonight. Gonna drink tonight. Gonna drink tonight. Gonna--”

The other men joined in as they rode to the nearest club gathering, “Drink, drink. Gonna drink tonight. Gonna drink tonight. Gonna, gonna drink, gonna drink tonight. Gonna drink tonight. Gonna drink tonight.”

It was a song everyone in the club knew, and so they were singing it when the three men arrived to join the party. Hyolyn waved them over since she enjoyed the company of 2 out of three of the men.

Drink with me, my love For there's fire in the sky And there's ice on the ground Either way, my soul will die Whoa-ohhhh-oh-ohhhhh-oh-ohhh oo-oh-oo-oh-oo-oh

Grabbing his first drink, Namjoon told his friends, “The doctors warned me that with my corpulence.”

Others scoffed, “Corpulence!”

“Soju and wine are dangerous for me.” He downed the first cup and got another fill. “But I drink a great deal. Only quite at ease after pouring several glasses mechanically into my large mouth.” Now when one drinks and drinks a lot, they tend to feel a pleasant warmth in their body as well as a sentimental attachment to their fellow man. That was the same here. People who were known as shy or the usually kept to themselves became more tender and loving and touchy with the consumption of alcohol. Others cried in corners but the other drunkards came over to comfort them.

Looking over at her betrothed as she sat on a table, Hyolyn told her husband to keep drinking since it was the easiest and best way to keep him busy. He did. Then both Yoongi and Jin cheered on their friend in his drunken endeavor to chug himself into an early grave. But it was all in the name of fun, of course.

Nearly an hour had passed at this point where Jin pouted and stared into his mug of beer, “(Y/N), oh (Y/N)! Her arms, her shoulders, her neck, her feet.”

Hyolyn chuckled, “The air of a connoisseur.”

“I will make love to her!” He loudly proclaimed.

Suga, standing in between Hyolyn’s legs, hands on her thighs, decided to warn his friend against such a choice, “Better not, ^mister^. She's first rate, but nothing but trouble.”

Both him and his lover said, “Better wait ‘til she's married!”

Seokjin was actually a married man. This was a fact known only to his intimates since a Chinese landowner of some small means had forced him to marry his daughter.

He waved it away, “Nevermind about that now. It doesn't matter; I don't give a damn! Just as a duck is made to swim in water God has made me as I am. All I care for is gaiety and women and there's no dishonor in that. As long as there's money and soju, I'll keep a feather in my hat.”

The whole hall was a beautiful sound of clamor and excitement, “Whoa-ohhhh-oh-ohhhhh- oh-ohhh oo-oh-oo-oh-oo-oh!” Now past the giddy stages of his drunkenness, Namjoon bemoaned his current situation as he usually did, “I used to love! I used to love! I used to be better!” To which his friends replied, “Keep drinking old man.”

Honestly, Hyolyn was over it, “Drink, drink, drink. God to think I married a man like you!”

“Don't speak to me, wife! There is something inside me…” He didn’t know what, but he knew that she wasn’t helping.

“Suga, pour me another!”

Namjoon continued talking to himself and contemplating life, “Something terrible and monstrous…” It had been many hours now since this party began and it didn’t seem like there was any sign of it ending any time soon. Yoongi, now with Hyolyn on his lap, raised a toast, “Here's to the health of married women, and a smile lurks at the corner of my mouth. Here's to the health of married women and their lovers!”

Everyone who heard raised their glasses as well, “Here's to the health of married women! Here's to the health of married women, and their lovers!”

It took a while, but Namjoon began to realize what was going on. His suspicions. The gossip. The constant whispers about his relationship or lack of with the woman he had never consummated his marriage with. Yoongi was all over her. All over his wife!

“Here's to the health of married women! Here's to the health of married women! And their lovers!”

Angry and drunk, Namjoon shoved the black haired man, “How dare you touch her?”

Not even trying to hide things, Yoongi replied, “You can't love her!”

“Enough!” He bellowed. “You bully, you scoundrel! I challenge you!”

Whispers spread and people moved about to give them space. The two men began to walk outside.

Suga was simply amused, “Oh, a duel? Yes, this is what I like.”

With slight worry about the outcome, Hyolyn tried to stop the man she married, “He will kill you, stupid husband.”

If you may recall, Suga was a very good shot. He killed the brother of a very important man and was fawned over for it. There was grounds for his cockiness especially when it came to the terms of a duel.

Did Namjoon care?

“So I shall be killed! What is it to you?”

Nope.

He reached his hand out to his friend, “Hyung, my guns.”

To which Jin gave to him, but not without speaking his mind, “Oh, this is horribly stupid.”

Yoongi had his guns too, “Well, let's begin. This is child's play!”

People watched from the windows and the stoop of the two men who had gotten drunk and angry as men tended to do when drunk. Especially if a drink or twelve was how they decided to “cope” with their feelings.

One man spoke, their referee, “As the adversaries have refused a reconciliation, we shall please proceed with the duel. Ready your pistols...And on the count of 세 begin to advance! Everyone counted, “하나 , 둘 , 세!”

Jin hated this, “Namjoon, hold your fire. Joonie, hold your fire. Namjoon, not yet!”

The trigger was pulled by a man who could barely stand on his own two feet. The bullet hit its target.

Suga reared back, “No! Shot by a fool!!!” This evern sobered Namjoon up real quick, “No, wait, I didn't mean –” “Quiet, old man!” The other man yelled back. “My turn.” His turn to shoot, and Namjoon’s turn to…

“Namjoon, stand back!” Jin ordered, not wanting to see his brother in law get hurt. Gunshot. Hyolyn screamed, but for who? A moment later, and it was revealed that the younger man was unharmed.

Yoongi couldn’t believe it as he stumbled, “Missed, missed. Oh my mother, my angel. My adoréd angel mother.” He was losing blood fast and wasn’t making any sense. “Take him away.” The only important woman in this scene said.

As onlookers began to help get Suga to the nearest surgeon’s, the referee said, “The sun is rising, the duel is at an end, and Kim Namjoon is the winner.”

He would hardly call this a triumph, “Winner? Winner.”

His wife took one more jab at him before walking away, “You are a fool!”

Ladies laughed but were silenced as Hyolyn looked at them with sharp and unamused eyes. They quickly went back inside to see if there was any more money to be made before the sun was completely up. Jin walked beside his sister, “Well, sweet sister, you certainly bring out the beast in men.” “What can I say? It's a gift.” She said quite bitterly.

“How I adore you.” He said and opened his sister’s carriage door for her. He asked her, “Will you ask (Y/N) to the ball tonight?” before closing it. Hyolyn smiled at him, “Of course, dear brother.”

Seokjin closed the door and his sister rode off to get some sleep. He returned to his friend who was staring at the blood stained snow only a few feet away.

“Come on, old man, let's get you home.”

“In a moment.” “Sleep it off,” he helped his old friend up. “And be happy, we live to love another day.”

Now at home, in a place that wasn’t his bed and yet not his study, Namjoon became introspective using his sober mind, something that rarely happened. He tried to keep it at bay. However, the fact that he could die and very soon had been put right in front of him tonight after challenging the best marksman to a duel.

He wiped his lips from the vomit that just passed them, slammed his gun down on the piano’s top and began playing the same chords over and over again.

“Is this how I die?” He asked himself. “Ridiculed and laughed at. Wearing clown shoes? Is this how I die? Furious and reckless? Sick with booze?”

Looking around at the empty and dark room, he asked to no one but himself and started playing like he used to, “How did I live?”

He tasted every wasted minute, every time he turned away from the things that might have healed him. How long had he been sleeping?

“Is this how I die?” The question came again to Namjoon. “Frightened like a child? Lazy and numb? Is this how I die? Pretending and preposterous and dumb?” He scoffed. How did he live? Was he kind enough and good enough? Did he love enough? Did he ever look up and see the moon and the stars and the sky?

He was furious at how blind he felt, how blind he had made himself, “Oh why have I been sleeping?”

A thought came to his head. It was so strong, that it stilled his hands. They say we are asleep until we fall in love. We are children of dust and ashes, but when we fall in love we wake up and we are a God and angels weep.

Namjoon was more than asleep. He might as well be dead due to his lack of ever loving someone. But if I die here tonight, I die in my sleep. As he saw his unfinished books lying all around, he got mad and spoke quickly “All of my life I spent searching the words of poets and saints and prophets and kings, and now at the end all I know that I’ve learned is that all that I know is I don’t know a thing.”

It was so easy for him to close off and place the blame outside. He was always just hiding in his room at night so terrified. He thought of all the things he could have been, but he never had the nerve.

Life and love?

He didn’t deserve either after throwing everything away.

“So all right, all right! I’ve had my time. Close my eyes, let the death bells chime! Bury me in burgundy, I just don’t care! Nothing’s left! I looked everywhere!”

If books didn’t have the answer. If booze didn’t have the answer. How would any one man have the answer to life, to love that he had been searching for his entire life?

Is this how I die?

“Was there ever any other way my life could be?”

Is this how I die? Such a storm of feelings inside of me?

He gripped the end of his bed as tears fell from his eyes, “But then why am I screaming? Why am I shaking?”

Kim Namjoon didn’t dare ask he next questions out loud, Oh God, was there something that I missed? Did I squander my divinity? Was happiness within me the whole time?

They say we are asleep until we fall in love. We are children of dust and ashes, but when we fall in love we wake up and we are a God and angels weep.

If he would never love, he believed he would die here tonight and in his sleep.

“They say we are asleep until we fall in love...and I’m so ready to wake up now.” He threw away all his bottles, just chucked them out the window. Maybe it would help. Maybe something good would come of it.

“I want to wake up!” Namjoon admitted. “Don’t let me die while I’m like this. I want to wake up! God don’t let me die while I’m like this. Please let me wake up now! God don’t let me die while I’m like this!”

He would do anything. He was on his knees. All he wanted was to fall in love with someone. It didn’t matter if they loved him back. Kim Namjoon wanted, no had to feel what love felt like at least once his life no matter the cost.

Tears started to stream down his face as he yelled, “I’m ready! I’m ready to wake up!!!”

But would he ever truly wake up?

Early Sunday morning, you and Jeongyeon lit a candle placed far away from any doors and looked in the mirror to see if any premonitions of the future could be seen. She told you to look, but you saw nothing.

“I see my face.” You said.

To which Jeongyeon replied, “Don’t be silly. They say you can see your future in the long row of candles stretching back and back and back into the depths of the mirror. In the dim confused last square you’ll see a coffin or a man.” She rolled her eyes. “Everyone sees a man.”

All you could see were the candles stretching back so far away, “I see the mirrors...I see a shape in the darkness. Is it him or is it—He’s lying down!” You grabbed Jeongyeon’s arm. “Oh Sonya why is he lying down? I’m so frightened!”

You feared that Jackson would never come or something will happen to you before he did.

Interrupting, Youngja called from the foyer, “Sunday morning! Time for church!”

On your way there, as it was customary and not necessarily because you had faith, you worried no suffered more now than before. The theater and Seokjin. That man who aroused such terrible feelings you didn’t understand.

In your mind you asked to anyone who was listening, Have I broken faith with Jackson? Am I guilty?

After church, Youngja left for Prince YG’s place, screaming, “The rudeness of that man! I’ll straighten him out!” She said, grabbing her heaviest fan. You didn’t even wanna hear that name again, “That terrible old Prince. I can’t bear to think of it! I’ll shut myself in my room, and try on new dresses!”

Making your way to your room, you undressed to be only in bloomers while your cousin went off to say goodbye to your godmother and then off to write some letters. It is what people often did in their past times.

And just after Youngja left, there was a knock at the door. You had just turned your head to the glass when you heard a voice that made you flush.

“Oh my enchantress, oh you beautiful thing. Charming, charming. Oh, this is really beyond anything.” It was Hyolyn dressed as beautifully as always, a dark fur coat draped across her green and black hanbok.

Although the other maids were lowing their heads, not daring to set their eyes on you in this undressed state, she eyed you up and down. It was a curious thing, but you didn’t hate the attention. Of course she wanted to look at you. You were you.

Hyolyn went to the closet, looking through your things casually and eventually pulling one out to look at better, “These dresses suit you.” She motioned to her own clothing now that her coat was off. “This one, ‘metallic gauze’ straight from Paris. Anything suits you, my charmer.” Your cheeks were on fire. To say you had a praise kink wouldn’t be wrong, but it wasn’t sexual satisfaction that you were getting from this. No, not at all. Flattery was simply something you ate up quite easily and also got a lot of. You were spectacular in every area of life, obviously, but it didn’t hurt to hear it from others who agreed as well.

“You’re so ^charming, so charming!^ You are such a lovely thing oh where have you been? It’s such a shame to bury pearls in the country ^charming, so charming^ quite charming.”

Another and more revealing dress that you had gotten (even though you weren’t sure you would ever wear it) was taken out of your wardrobe by Hyolyn. You were still in just a bra and panties soaking up every drop of attention.

The dirty-blonde girl got you to stand up and held the dress in front of you, “Now if you have a dress, you must wear it out. How can you live in Seoul and not go nowhere? So you love somebody?” She sat on your bed, “Charming, but that’s no reason to shut yourself in. Even if you’re engaged, you must wear your dress out somewhere.”

She threw the dress on the bed and held both of your hands, sitting you in front of your golden vanity. Hyolyn spoke as she styled your hair, “My brother dined with me yesterday, but he didn’t eat a thing cuz he was thinking ’bout you. He kept sighing about you~.”

You had to stand up and hold your cheeks as they began to warm and blush once more. Again she called you charming in English and asked how someone as beautiful as you could’ve stayed in the Korean countryside for so long. How a charming person such as yourself enjoyed living in such a boring place.

Compared to the city, she was right. “Now a woman with a dress is a frightening and powerful thing. You are not a child when you’re draped in scarlet and lace.” Hyolyn took the simple pearl locket you had gotten from Jackson from your neck and playfully ran away with it. “Your fiancé would want you to have fun rather than be bored to death. ^Go out in the world rather than dying from boredom^”

She instead gave you the double layered pearl necklace she had been wearing at yesterday’s opera. You still weren’t sure if this would be the right thing to do what with your head still swimming about questions of the heart. Why would he talk about you so much to his sister? Would he even want you at the party? He did invite you before, but for what reason?

Hyolyn could see the questions as if you had written them plainly on a blank page. She smirked at how naïve you were and decided one more thing that would get you to say yes. Playing her biggest card, she gave you the brightest grin.

“My brother is quite madly in love. He is quite madly in love with you, my dear~”

No way. Even though she spoke, it was hard for you to listen as a new and more fabulous dress was tied around your waist. It seemed to be the one Hyolyn liked the most on you. Was his love truly the reason for him wanting you to come to the ball? It’s not like anyone would ever lie to you about such things, so it had to have been the truth.

What once seemed so terrible, now seemed simple and natural. She knew that you’re engaged, and still she talked so frankly. So it must be all right!

Hyolyn knew she had you and sprinkled more compliments on just in case, “There is a ball at my house tonight. You must come~ Oh your wide-open, wondering eyes! You will be the prettiest there~!”

How the thought of throwing them together amused her!

“You must come~”

You nodded and answered, “I will come.” with a giggle.

As she left, you admired yourself in the mirror. This white dress sparkled and shone more than anything you had ever worn before. It was devoid of any straps or sleeves that weren’t completely made of thin lace. The layers of the skirt made them fun to hold and twirl around in since they would fly up like angel wings.

Jin was waiting at the door. Waiting at the door, waiting. Simply waiting at the door. Waiting at the door, waiting.

Oh, how I adore little girls! He thought to himself. They lose their heads at once!

You entered in your whitest of dresses with pearls in your hair and white lacy gloves on your hands. Jin was dressed in the fashion of a European soldier such as those seen in the Nutcracker play you had gone to since you were a child. Nothing like the opera of yesterday.

He eagerly grabbed your hand the moment you entered and began twirling you about the dance floor. You were seized by feelings of vanity and fear since once more there was no barrier between you and him. Whispers and moans, and ringing in your ear though nobody was as close to you as Jin was. There was no barrier.

Things were divine, delicious, but you did not see or hear anything. You were borne away to a senseless world so strange, so remote. You no longer knew good from bad because of Seokjin. Kim Seokjin.

One thought crossed your mind, I'm so frightened.

“You are enchanting.” He said.

But his words didn’t comfort you as much as they should have. And as you danced, he pressed your waist and hand and told you that you were--

“Bewitching.” Then he smiled, “And I love you.”

He was more bewitching as he said those words, “And I love you”

And during the ecossaise, he gazed in your eyes. He said nothing just gazed in your eyes, your frightened eyes. Jin had such confident tenderness, you could not say what you had to say. Instead, you tried to lower your face as not to be entranced by his deep gaze. It didn’t work.

Instead, he lifted your chin up and spoke, “Don't lower your eyes. I love you. I am in love, dear. I am in love. Gaze in my eyes. I love you. You are bewitching. What can I do? Darling, what can I do?”

You replied with shaking confidence, “Don't say such things. I am betrothed; I love another.”

“Don't speak to me of that when I tell you that I am madly, madly in love with you!” He licked his plump lips. “Is it my fault that you're enchanting?”

All you could think about was how you were so frightened. You didn’t understand anything tonight.

Jin held you closer, “I'm here now~”

And tilted his head to kiss you, but you broke away, pushing him. What was going on? This wasn’t who you were! Was it?

“(Y/N)?” He spoke.

You could feel his eyes upon upir. Blocking your path, he brought your face close to his. His large, glittering, masculine eyes were so close to yours that you saw nothing else.

“Is it possible that I should never see you again? I love you madly! Can I never?”

Seokjin chased you through the halls of the divine dance, “(Y/N)?”

He was finally able to catch you with both hands that pressed into your arm.

“(Y/N)?”

He’s hurting your hands as his grip slipped to them!

“(Y/N)?”

You didn't understand. You had nothing to say...as he kissed you. So rough and desperately that you could not help but kiss him back and hold him tight. Not even sure where you were or whose eyes were on you. Not caring, either. Jin and you embraced passionately as heat took control of your actions. Burning lips pressed to yours until he pulled away after what felt like an eternity. You silently asked for someone to tell you what just happened. You’re trembling. It was all so frightening.

Jackson. The name floats in your consciousness, but you love Jin. Of that there is no doubt. How else could all of this have happened? How else could you have kissed? It means that you have loved him from the first. It means that he was kind, noble, and splendid.

And I could not help loving you. I will love you, Jin-oppa. Your heart beat. I'll do anything for you.

You can only look at each other as you both promised, “I'll do anything for you.”

Before you realized it, you ran back to him and he took your hand. The two of you left the party to do what most people did when they leave a party with someone they were romantically and physically attracted to. Especially when they believe they are in love with one another.

[lucylucciendo-blog]

Les Luttes de L'Amour Part 5

London is one of the many cities that never seem to sleep especially at 8 in the morning on a Wednesday where rush hour is once again alight. I could hear the buzz and many car horns outside my window as I lay down in bed. I turned on to my side trying to block out the noise as I heard a series of beeps from my phone next to me. I slowly opened my eyes and adjusted my vision.

Shit was the first word that came to mind as it all came rushing back as I remembered the events that transpired last night.

 I sat up in my bed and grabbed my phone. I looked at the time and couldnt believe I slept in til 12 which was so unlike me. 11 missed calls from Alex, 2 from Christian and 3 from Julie. I probably should have explained myself to Julie so I gave her an overdue text saying that I was alright and that my mum had a turn. I then ignored everything from Alex and went straight to Christian. He text me asking after me as I sat in one of the best hotels in my entire life. I tried calling him but he didn't answer so I sent him a text instead;

12.05p.m.- Me: Christian I fell straight asleep last night I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner as I should have. I honestly don't know what to say I had one of the best sleeps of my life mind you that could have something to do with all the crying😂 anyway I have no idea how to repay you of this! You honestly shouldn't have thank you so so much. I can't explain to you how much this meant to me. Call me when you get this x

I heard a knock at the door and put my phone down. I put on my complimentary dressing gown and opened the door to a waiter and a trolley.

"Good morning miss, breakfast is served mind the clichè!...May I?" He moved his head indicating for him to come in after staring at my blank and rather shocked expression for 5 seconds. I was so taken aback but smiled and replied;

"Of course sorry yes, sorry I wasn't expecting You!"

"Compliments of Mr Yu!" He smiled and pushed they trolley over to the table. He placed the dishes on top and removed the lids after ushering me to sit down.

"Now here we have french toast, scrambled eggs, bacon and potato scones with orange juice, mini muffins and a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows! Enjoy miss"

He placed a napkin on my knee and let himself out. I was still trying to process that Christian not only got me a room but a penthouse suite at the best hotel in the whole of England but also remembered what I like for breakfast after all these years. I remembered the days when we would have breakfast together either at his or mine. All of the laughs we had all of the memories all of the pain that soon followed. Although my mind couldn't help wander back to last night when I saw my boyfriend cheat on me which I assumed was not the first time he had done so recalling all of the times he had weirdly cancelled coming with me on my trips last minute for 'business'. This would definitely add to the list of trust issues that already took up my bookcase.

It was definitely a hurdle to get over after Christian left but then again here he was redeeming himself telling me he called and texted and flew in to find me only to see a house where I used to stay and where a new family took over. How could he have known I moved house if he never answered my calls that somehow he never seemed to have received. For some reason I believed his story in that he never got my messages I'm not quite sure why but I could always seem to tell when he was lying or telling the truth even after all the years apart.

I then took this opportunity to text Alex the last message I planned on sending him in my full life;

13:12p.m. Me: I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to work anything out with you, we are done, I never want to see you again and I want you out of my house and leave your key. Have a nice life.

I ate my delicious breakfast that I was somehow upset over since I knew I would never eat an amazing breakfast like that ever again. I demolished it and jumped into the shower and began getting ready. As I was putting my earrings in I heard another knock at the door. I opened it to find the only person I wanted to see. He immediately brought me in to his chest and wrapped his arms around me.

"Y/N I am so sorry, I should have gone with you, I should have never ever left you I can't believe I left you again but it's alright I've dealt with it he won't be bothering you ever again I promise!"

"Christian it's okay honestly I'm fine and it's all thanks to you I can't believe your here!!"

"How could I not be here he's a jerk, he doesn't deserve you he never did and I promise you'll never see him again!"

"Wait what do you mean you've dealt with it?" I chuckled as I pulled apart slightly as to not escape his hold but look into his eyes.

"It doesn't matter but your safe now! Y/N I don't want to lose you ever again and I want to give you everything you have missed over the last couple of years and everything you deserve! I actually have something to confess" he moved you in and closed your door as he sat you down on your bed.

"When I say that I didn't get any of your calls, emails or texts I meant it, as a matter of fact I talked with my manager who also had no clue how that happened who then took it up with my publicist who was also with me at the time we broke up. It was him Y/N, he blocked your number from my phone and changed my email address, he manipulated the full team and members of my friends and family that I was somehow better off without you and that it was your fault of ou breakup. He, He was always with me all of the time back then so he had easy access to my phone and my life. Apparently if I had a girlfriend it would have been harder to make an impact in the music industry and get where I am today. But thing is, I'm miserable without you. You've been on my mind for all these years to be truthful, you never left. I've always regretted breaking up and leaving you. You were my whole life and I honestly... I need you back in it. I miss you so fucking much your like a drug that I constantly need to survive. I never found anyone else like you and I don't want to ever look again. I found and made a life without you and I hate it. I need you Y/N and I know what I did broke you and I know what Alex has just done must have hurt like hell but I'm here for you and I'll wait until whenever your ready I don't honestly care how long I have to wait, as long as I'm with you." his eyes beaming so bright as he declared his love with a huge smile taking over his face.

I let out a deep breath and leaned in towards him grabbing his hair pulling him into me. It felt like slow motion as our eyes gazed into each others and our lips slowly met. And then we touched and it felt as if a million sparks had finally been released like my cravings and love I had so longed for was now all being fulfilled as I pulled my hand through the strands of his hair. I felt the same. Life wasn't ever the same without him and I craved his touch and affection once more. And alas after years of separation I was now back where I had always belonged. I opened my lips as his tongue explored me. My stomach was going crazy with somersaults and felt as if there was a full on rave and party happening in me. This was the kind of love I had been missing, this was the feeling I had wished for so damn long. This was all I had wanted, something Alex could not and never gave me.

I gripped his cheek and slid my arm down to grab his hand. I just didn't expect him to wince and grunt out in pain.

"What's wrong?" You exclaimed. Confused you brought your gaze down to his hand then let out a loud gasp.

"Christian oh my god what happened to your hand?"

That story however had to be rewinded to when Christian arrived at my apartment the night before as I drifted off to a deep sleep.

He rang the doorbell like any good guest and waited for the son of the bitch who hurt the only girl he ever loved. He would talk to him, explain who he was, get some of my things and tell him to be out by the morning and never return. However as he opened the door and as Christian saw his face he couldn't help or stop the powerful fiery rage that burned within him so his instincts kicked in and he clenched his fists and jaw.

"Who are you?" Christian still very much trying to calm himself saw a figure moving in the background in the corner of his eye. He turned and saw a girl in a dressing gown drinking a cup of coffee leaning against the table.

And that was it for him. He didn't care or want to even try hold in his anger anymore. He had had more than enough with this guy. The fact that he not only cheated but didn't even bother to get rid of the girl, in fact she was still there drinking my coffee and sitting on my table enraged him even more. And that's when he found himself punching Alex in the face.

The girl didn't even try to stop she ran behind the couch. Alex put his arms up as defence trying to block Christian but Christian was angry, in fact the only thing that did stop him was his phone ringing as he thought it might have been from me. He slowly came back to reality as he looked at his phone and saw it was from the hotel. He quickly answered and received information that I was safely in bed. He took a breath and turned off his phone. He looked over at the quivering man.

"How could you do that to her? She was already way broken before you and you just destroyed her. She may never love ever again because of you. I know what I did was wrong but at least a lot of that had to do with miscommunication. I still thought of her every-day and tried to contact her but you!" He looked at him with complete disgust which you could here in his voice. "You, you betrayed her, you actually cheated on the most amazing person you will ever meet and you have the audacity to do it in her apartment and not even get rid of the girl you cheated on her with. No, you give her coffee and I can only presume one of Y/N's dressing gowns. You have until noon tomorrow to pack up your stuff and get out and yes I will be back on the dot to check make sure your ass is out of the building." he turned to go and stopped his tracks. "Also, you might need some ice for that face and no don't you even think about taking Y/N's. Even her fucking water is too good for a spineless ignorant ass such as yourself." then he walked out leaving the room still and speechless.

Christian had anticipated my reaction might not have been so favourable since I didn't have a great fondness of violence but instead of all that crap I pushed him to the wall and started kissing him again. His hands were on my waist pulling me closer to him but he couldn't help but pull apart to ask one thing.

"Y/N, I need to ask you a question, will you be my girlfriend again?" I looked up at him and gave him huge smile.

"Yes, of course!"

It was three years later and the butterflies were going crazy within the pit of my stomach. 

"Y/N, you look beautiful!" Julie wiped the tears from her eyes protecting her makeup.

"Thank you!" I couldn't stop smiling I was just too excited.

"Your mother and father will be watching over you now with only pride and happiness." Christian's mother said as she squeezed my hand and said farewell for now as she wen to take her seat.

"Can I just say, I'm honoured to walk with you today, I know your father will have dreamt of this moment and I only hope to do him justice." Christian's father said.

"Thank you so much for doing this. I honestly can't wait anymore!"

"Are you ready Y/N?"

"To marry the love of my life? I've never been more ready in my entire life!"

 The End.

I hoped you enjoyed this series as much as I did writing it!

Leave a comment and let me know what you think!

[burndownthehousetonight]

((I though this was going to just keep going on and on, and @tinyredartist and I would have to cut it into chapters, but it seems like we were going to do that anyways, so this one’s a bit short compared to the other one. You can find the first part here!))

Scourge went back downstairs, cleaning up the living room they had been in originally. Aria's art supplies were strewn across the table, her sketchbook open for the page to dry. As expected, her drunken work was abstract, but the idea was there. A streak of blue was the night sky, the bright yellow the lights of the casino. Brown shapes were civilians and the two green and one red shapes were clearly them. He left it to dry, wondering if Aria would paint a canvas for him of the same work.

He turned out the lights in the castle, and passed by a door. It was the only one in the castle with a lock, and he merely glared at it.

Scourge eventually went to bed. He laid on the right side of the king sized mattress, looking at the empty space next to him. Slowly, he fell asleep.

The next morning, Scourge was up with the sun. He had snagged a cup of coffee from the kitchen and had climbed onto the roof for some peace and quiet. To think things over. Manic had gotten up similarly early, many of the things he'd confessed the previous day weighing heavy on his mind. Unlike Scourge, he didn't have any kind of energy that early in the morning, instead pulling out his phone and laying around in the guest bed doing nothing. Idly tapping away at mindless games to think through what he could say, or what he should have said. Of course the right wording was coming to mind, now that we wasn't anxious and delirious. But what was said was said. "Gotta get some practice done..." He grumbled to himself, stumbling out of bed.  He walked down the main stairs, out the hall and into his van. Clothes, make-up, he always had some spare outfits in the built-in storage boxes in case he had to get the hell outta dodge. A fresh set of clothes, some make-up to make his face look less effeminate, and he was ready for the day. Even if there was nothing planned for the day. So he swung open the back doors and lounged back, practicing some chords and simple melodies while he breathed in the morning air. Scourge heard the melody from the roof, listening happily as he sipped at his coffee. His thoughts went to Manic and his messed up love life. He felt sad for the other green hedgehog. At least Scourge had some form of closure to the ruins of his marriage. Not knowing where someone went? No wonder Manic was always so anxious.

A fire burned in his belly suddenly as he thought to Sonic's comments about the missing hedgehog. He regretted not punching that stupid face while he had a chance. The king inhaled slowly, trying to calm himself. Getting angry isn’t helping anyone.

Aria woke up a while later, after Scourge had come off the roof and invited Manic in for breakfast. The smell of baked goods had her wandering downstairs half asleep in search of food. "...so the whole time, he was giving me the wrong cue cards, right?" The table had a small buffet of breakfast foods, dominated by the number of breads and other baked foods on display. Manic was already down here, eating and talking with Scourge when Aria walked in, munching on a plate of a few cheeses and meats with some bread. "Frühstück," he'd always call it for some reason. "Like, I knew the melody, but only... haaaalf the words, maybe? I pretty much had to make it up as I went-" Manic cut himself off and turned around, pleasantly surprised at the sight of Aria. "Oh, morning, Ari!" He almost moved to continue his story, but shifted back to Aria again. "Uh, you kinda drank a ton, you gonna have a hangover? Want some water, or summat?" “Shhh… She’s not quite awake yet. This is more Zombie Aria.” Scourge explained as Aria walked over, nose twitching as she used her sense of smell to guide her. She mewled quietly, sitting down in chair that Scourge had pulled out for her and she started groaning quietly.

She was given a plate of eggs and bacon, French toast with syrup and powdered sugar and a cup of tea. Mindlessly, she started eating, purring quietly.

“And here, you see the hunter has cornered her prey and is starting to feast on the carcass,” Scourge joked, narrating Aria's actions to Manic as if they were in a nature documentary. "The eldrich french toast cryptid never stood a chance." Manic reiterated. "When it's sweet maple syrupy blood has been spilt, it can only plead and beg to be served with proper plating and a lightly seasoned poached egg for both flavor and appearances. This one will never meet it's dying wish." She didn't even seem to care that they were essentially mocking her. As Manic put the 'sweet syrupy blood' string in the back of his head for some kind of lyrics, he continued his story with Scourge. "Uh, where was I...? Yeah, half the lyrics and all that!" Manic said, making hand motions again as he spoke. "I tried coming up with something since he wasn't even giving the words to the right songs, and it turns out I ain't the best at improvising lyrics?" He took a moment to think of how to describe it. "Have you ever wanted to watch someone sing the same lyrics two or three times in a row while sounding like they're having a stroke? Cause that tape..." He smiled and looked down, more reminiscent than ashamed. "Let's just say I got that baby deleted a while back." Aria finished about half her cup of tea and woke up a little bit, mewling quietly. “Morning,” she cooed.

Scourge listened intently to his friend's story, laughing slightly and patting Aria on the head gently as she woke up. The breakfast went slowly, Aria ever so slowly waking up and coming out of a hangover-esqe state. Once she was good and properly awake, she snuck a bread roll from Scourge's plate and nommed quietly on it.

“So you two, we need to talk.”

Aria made a face like she instantly regretted every decision she’d ever made. It was enjoyable to carry on his story, exaggerating the details just a tiny bit to make it that much better. The bread was fresh, the cheese and meats slightly spiced and delicious, the little bits of fruit alongside it in season and wonderful. Not to mention, it was fun to watch Aria slowly gain energy as she seemed to somehow evolve from the disheveled sleepwalker into her normal bubbly self. And then he spoke seriously. Manic couldn't help but notice how serious Scourge was. Was this somehow related to Aria's blatant regret over... something? "You doing alright?" Manic would have leaned over the table and crossed his arms, but he had no idea if that was some cardinal sin in a royal castle or not. He settled for leaning forward the best he could. "Did you do something? We'll listen, mate, don't worry." Scourge coughed a little. “Don’t worry Aria, you’re not in trouble.”

Arias wariness didn’t ebb, and she merely chewed on her bread to combat that feeling of intense anxiety. Scourge merely looked at her, concerned and giving her a pitiful look.

“So. Uh… I don’t even know where to start… Last night, you got utterly smashed. And you said some things that concern me, and Manic too, and I think we need to talk about them." The green hedgehog put his hand on her shoulder, to try and comfort her.

Aria only saw it as a way of preventing her from leaving. She looked between the two green hedgehogs, scared and anxious, having finished her bread. Most people would have brushed this off as Aria being jumpy, but Manic knew the signs. The way she jumped when the hand was on her shoulder, all the eating an drinking, the creative outlet, it was all very obvious. "You got anxiety issues, too?" What would have relaxed him? Manic leaned back in his seat and relaxed his shoulders. "That's a real crap hand to be dealt, ain't it? We ain't gonna push you too hard, but I mean... we can't help if you don't answer us, alright?" He thought for a moment about how to word it without being too direct. "Is that what's stopping you from asking for your pay?" Aria looked down at her hands, hiding the subtle shaking under the table. “General anxiety disorder. I can’t afford a diagnosis or medication but I’m pretty sure. Its not a surprise.”

Scourge already knew about the anxiety, so he relaxed, removing his hand from her shoulder and putting them over her hands, stopping some of the shaking. She looked up at Manic, surprised.

“How did you-… Right. I got drunk and couldn’t keep my mouth shut… No that’s.. That’s not why I won’t ask.”

The green hedgehog studied her face. What she had said the night prior. “Then why not? Are you scared? Do you want me to do it?”

“No, no its fine… It's… A long story,” she sighed. She wasn’t gonna talk unless someone brought up what she said last night. And speaking from his own anxiety issues, Manic knew this for a fact. "You didn't say a ton, dude, but from what you said..." Manic scratched the back of his head. "I dunno, I think Scourge knows something I don't. Either your boss isn't paying you 'til you sleep with her... or she's trying to sell your body." There wasn't a soft way to say it, and if there was, Manic wouldn't have found it anyways. So he sat there, and thought. "Can you not get out of there?" Manic spoke sincerely, rubbing his hands together. He had no idea what happened at Aria's home, but he just had a terrible thought at the back of his head. "Are you being blackmailed? Me and Scourge used to drop off the grid all the time when we got in trouble, I could help you out, honest! Just gimme the word, and I can get some friends to keep you hidden." She looked away from them, ears drooping. “… She’s not paying me until I sleep with her… And she’s not the kind of person you can say no to without consequences. In that part of town zone cops… Police… Even you. No authority has any power except for black market officials like my boss… So I’m on my own.”

Scourge tensed, quills bristling. Trying not to growl. “You’re wrong. You’ve never been alone Aria, I’ve always been right here! Glare, Rosy, all of us. Right here… Why didn’t you say something?”

“I didn’t want to abuse your friendship.” She shrank back from her friends, and Scourge let go of her hands, trying to calm himself. He got up and ran his hands through his quills. Pacing.

“Imma kill her.” He decided, rather calmly. A calm but angry Scourge is a bad sign.

“Scourge, no. Manic, help me out here. Killing her won’t do me any good.” Aria got between him and the door. "She's right, dude." Manic said, hopping from his seat and walking towards the two. "Messing with those kinds isn't a dumb mistake, it's the dumbest mistake. You ain't killing her." Manic patter Aria on the shoulder. "Aria, I get it. You think you're taking resources people can't afford, but we just- swallow your pride! We're serious, just forget about abusing the resources and do what you have to to survive!" His words were getting more forceful as he went. "I have been there. Okay? I. Have. Been. There. I'll help you through this." Manic started brushing his own quills aside, thinking. "First thing's we're getting you outta there. You can't quit, right? So you just-" He covered his mouth, and thought. "I'd say we could fake your death, but if you wanna go back to your home, it's be really easy to see through that." He was used to his debts being monetary, but he wasn't a woman being virtually THREATENED into having sex. What could they do?! "Honestly, what I'm thinking is... you have to stop being valuable to her." He said. "What're her turn-offs? What'll make her not want you as a worker, what's going to get you fired and be believable?!" Arias ears flattened more and she winced. Afraid of the agitated hedgies who sounded mad at her. “Please stop yelling at me…” She whimpered

Scourge toned the hell down super fast. “Easy.. Its okay. We aren’t mad at you. We’re sorry. Let’s figure this out”

Aria turned to Manic when he suggested making herself less attractive to the other. “Manic this woman has known me for over 13 years. She knows me better than I know myself because she’s been sizing me up forever. The day I turned 18 I was fair game to her. I can’t hide anything. I’m stuck…”

She started to sniffle, eyes getting glossy from the tears that were about to fall. Scourge snuggled her gently, cooing softly to calm her. “Easy.. Its okay… You’re safe, shes not going to hurt you… Maybe instead of getting the money from her, you could offer art commissions? I know quite a few rich and famous who would love a piece of artwork from you. That will fix your money problems anyways..” Manic simply looked on, unsure of what he could begin to say. She was stuck, and he knew that he would have thought the same thing if he was in any kind of a similar situation. But he wasn't there. Aria didn't just need support, she needed a plan of attack. "Ari, come on, let's sit down somewhere," Manic suggested. He didn't force her, he didn't choose where to sit, he simply followed, patting her shoulder as he thought thought his own lack-of-a-plan in his head. He sat a safe distance, making sure she wouldn't feel cramped. "Here's the main thing." Manic said, thinking. "You said you're heading back to your home 'next week,' right? If she's sizing you up, she's going to look for you there." More thought. "You definitely want to keep going there, so you have to convince her that you aren't useful to her, we can't just hide you in a potato sack and drive outta here." Thinking. "But she's attracted to you, so we have to make you, like, bat as an employee and a love interest..." "My plans are always really extreme, but that's why they work. I mean, REALLY extreme, cause I'm usually the one getting messed up." He rubbed his hands together. "We could fake a ton of documents, pay some doctors and make it look like you have a fatal STD... or we could fake an accident, and make it look like you're... physically unable to work." “I don’t know how far she’s willing to go… She told me once, when we were alone, that she influenced and shaped my personality to be exactly what she wanted in a….” She trailed off and Scourge held her hand from the next seat over, trying to support her.

“…Is she into anything illegal?” Scourge asked, an idea starting to form.

“Yeah. The whole place is running on dirty money, save for my tips… Money laundering, cocaine, steroids…any and all of the drugs you can think of, including… Oh what’s it called… The one that starts with an R. Its a date rape drug.” Aria's nose scrunched up as she tried to think.

Manic could literally see the lightbulb go off in Scourge’s head. “We can call the zone cops to do a drug bust on the building. They may not respect them, but they are the be-all-end-all of policing. When are the drugs in the building?”

“Shipments are on Tuesday but we need proof! And I’m not gonna try and steal some because then I’m at risk of being arrested as well… Amongst other things.”

Scourge turned to manic and raised a brow. “You up for a little undercover mission?” Manic sat up in his seat, ears perked and fingers anxious to get to his electronics. "Lemme show you just how ready I am. ◇        ◇        ◇        ◇ The backseats of Manic's van weren't folded down, they were gone. What appeared to be the backs of the seats lifted up to show stashes of small electronic devices. Tiny cameras, hacking equipment, and a large, clearly powerful laptop at the center of it all. "Maybe she doesn't use electronic records, but trust me, as long as there's a computer, we can make it work." Manic said. "We just make it look like she's doing deep web crap with a bad attempt an anonymity, and people are gonna start lurking. And if you wanna do something more direct, get some disguises going..." Manic reached for a make-up rag. He seemed almost hesitant to use it, but he started to rub his face, cleaning off the contouring and detailing he did. He looked younger without it. Not just younger, but more bright-eyed and effeminate. He looked like a different person completely. "Just gimme a ref and I can make it happen." ”….. Damn.“ Scourge said after Manic gave his little speech. "Did not see literally ANY of this coming…”

Aria sat in the van, thinking. “She has a database of all her clients. If we can get our hands on that… That puts the whole operation belly up… And that won’t be difficult.”

“Sounds like you got a plan lamb shank.” Scourge teased her with the most curious of nicknames, and Aria pushed him a little bit. Slowly winning her spark back.

“Okay. So Manic, you go in and ask to buy some. She’ll take you upstairs to fill out your info into the computer. Scourge and I will cause a fuss downstairs and she’ll come down to see what’s the matter. Then Manic you steal the laptop and get out via the fire escape. Then we have our Zonic meet you and Scourge at the van. Sound good? We shouldn’t need disguises, in fact you could probably go in just the way you are now and she wouldn’t remember you.” "We don't have to be that direct with theft," Manic said, rummaging through a small set of USB sticks, pulling out one marked with a dark blue piece of tape. "We just need to copy down the information she's got. She keeps her information, she won't figure out we got into the records. We pull it off that that and she's gonna know you were up to something." Manic reached into his hair, pulling out some hair clips. His bizarre updo tumbled down until his quills fell, long and once more, feminine. He reached for the old drum case he kept spare clothes in, digging around for a small jacket and some cuban heeled shoes. "I say for your distraction? Yell about something. Aria left something when she was working, no one knows where it is, Aria's acting pissy, and she flips out at Scourge. Believable, simple. Shouldn't suspect a thing. Just act it out to the patrons, too, make it believable." He was rattling things off and standing in an in-control way that they hadn't seen before. Illegal schemes were Manic's forte, and he came prepared. When he spun around, he looked younger, the jacket and heels tight fitting. He looked attractive in a strange half-effeminate way. Even his stance was more exaggerated and flirty. "And don't worry. She won't remember me." "No, I’ve handled things like that before on my own… We need something else… Maybe I can distract her? I get my top dirty and ask her to borrow a shirt? It's a little on the riskier side but boobs are 110% the greatest distraction. Its foolproof because people throw drinks at me to soak my shirt through all the time. I keep a spare at work, but there isn’t one there now because I haven’t gone in to replace it.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. It leaves you in a vulnerable position.” Scourge expressed concern, worried about using Aria as bait.

“Don’t worry. Manic will only be a few feet away. Besides, the second the files are done you can get cranky and bust in,” Aria continued, not at all surprised by her friends sudden visual transformation. "Scourge, she'll be fine." Manic said, just a tiny bit unsure of it himself. "Old batty wants Aria for herself, and she's in control here. You think she's going to watch a bunch of drooling guys harass someone she's interested in and get outta there in one piece? I'd say get snippy with her when she comes out, that'll distract her a bit more. As long as we're buying time, we'll be fine." Manic reached down into the electronics again, this time pulling out a long rectangular... earring? "This'll film it all, should be enough proof to get a zone cop sting." He shifted the seat backs down, covering up a mass of electronics with flagrantly specialized illegal services. "Just call Zonic down, and I think we're set." Manic hopped into the driver's seat, grinning back at the two. "You ready?" "Not quite. I need to go home to grab my work uniform. Could you drive me? I’m not comfortable warping when I’m this anxious,” Aria asked, getting in the van. Scourge waited by the driver's side window.

“I’ll call Zonic and warp in when you two are ready for me. Don’t walk in together either. Manic, you’re in charge.” Scourge sounded more like a dad lecturing his unruly children who were about to go to a party more than a king involved in a semi illegal plot.

Aria nodded and the two drove off. A few minutes into the ride, she looked over at manic. “Hey… Thanks for everything.” "Hey, no problem." Manic said, grinning at her. "Friends help friends, no matter what." He punctuated this point by reaching over and ruffling Aria's hair again, trying to add some kind of joking fun to the otherwise serious moment. It wasn't too long of a drive to Aria's place. Manic just waited in the van, thinking through everything. It was a simple plan, it was an easy plan. This baby could copy a record keeping system no problem, and get plenty of information in the meantime. He didn't even realize how much time was passing until Aria came back in uniform. Anxiety meant he was always thinking, and always double checking himself to make sure his plans were going to go smoothly. "Ari, when you want Scourge to show up, just text him or something." Manic added as they began driving towards Dasvidania. "If anything happens, she'll think I'm guilty, and I've gotten outta much worse places. She doesn't want to hurt you." "I know. You be careful too. The way you’re dressed right now, you’re almost presenting as her ‘type’. I don’t see her hitting on you though. She’s a boob kinda lady.”

Silence in the car. Aria fidgeting. “When I was looking for my house keys in my purse I found a whole wad of cash. Mostly small bills. I know it was you. Thank you Manic, but next time… You don’t need to steal to help me.” A pause. “Well okay, maybe now you do, but the money is unnecessary.”

Aria had Manic drop her off a few blocks away from the bar. “I’ll text you when I’m inside… If something goes wrong, and it comes down to saving me, or the information, get the info.”

She got out of the car, straightened herself up and walked away.

[florahecate]

Read More 30 Weird But Totally Amazing Food Pairings

The following post 30 Weird But Totally Amazing Food Pairings is republished from Eat This Not That by Meghan De Maria

Sure, you know apple slices taste delicious with a bit of cheese, or that chocolate and peanut butter are a match made in heaven. But there are plenty of people who swear by, shall we say, less traditional weird food combinations.

Even with some of the tried-and-true factors, like the fact that salty foods go so well with sweet ones, some of these food combinations are truly next-level. But they all work, as long as you’re willing to try something new. Here are some of the weirdest—and most loved—food combinations out there. Hey, don’t knock ’em ’til you try ’em.

1

Ice Cream and Fries

If you’ve made a face when your friends dipped fries into a Wendy’s Frosty or McFlurry, it turns out they were onto something. This takes the combination of salty and sweet to the next level. Because in addition to the flavors, you’re also mixing the heat of a fresh box of fries with the coldness of the ice cream. Salty, sweet, hot, and cold all at the same time—what’s not to love? There’s no way of telling what brave soul first tried this combination. But we’re thankful for it, whoever they are.

Still not convinced this is a flavor people actually enjoy? Just ask Coolhaus! The brand sells a pint of “Milkshake & Fries” ice cream that includes bits of fries, along with malt balls, blended into vanilla ice cream.

2

Chocolate and Avocado

We’re not just talking about adding a piece of chocolate to your morning avocado toast, although that does sound delicious. Avocado’s creamy, buttery texture naturally lends itself to chocolate-flavored recipes, of which there are many to choose from. Dip your toes into the flavor combination with a creamy avocado and chocolate milkshake, which features cacao powder and a quarter avocado.

3

Olive Oil and Ice Cream

If you haven’t tried it, you might be hesitant about this combination, but plenty of people swear by it. For a true salty-sweet combo, try adding a drizzle of olive oil and a few sea salt flakes to vanilla ice cream. You won’t regret it.

Another option is to try olive oil gelato if your local scoop shop offers it. But if you’re able to assemble the olive oil sundae yourself, you might be surprised to find you enjoy the taste after all.

4

Coca-Cola and Chicken

Recipes for “Cola chicken” are so abundant that Coca-Cola itself even has one on its website. While most people are more familiar with the soda in its drinkable form, there’s apparently something to be said for frying chicken in it, too. If you think about it, it is still a salty-sweet combo. And it’s not really much weirder than other sweet meat flavorings, like teriyaki or sweet barbecue sauce.

5

Strawberries and Balsamic

Strawberries and balsamic vinegar are an age-old Italian combination that works surprisingly well. As Plated explained, the savory balsamic flavor makes strawberries taste even more sweet, complementing their already-juicy nature. Intrigued? Try this grilled strawberry shortcake recipe to give the strawberry-balsamic combination a try.

6

Cheddar Cheese and Apple Pie

Fresh apples and cheese slices are a common combination, so it was only a matter of time before the cheese idea hit apple pie, too. As Atlas Obscura reported, the tradition of adding cheese to apple pie seems to have originated in England, and it’s been going on for centuries. The outlet posits that today, cheddar-topped apple pie is more popular in dairy-producing regions of the United States like the Midwest and New England.

If you want to try out this trend, you don’t have to throw a yellow slice on top of the next slice of pie you eat. Try baking cheddar into your pie crust to test out this intriguing combo.

7

Peanut Butter and a Burger

While many of the options on this list rely on salty-sweet combinations, this is more of a salt and more salt situation. Apparently, adding melted peanut butter when forming beef patties will make them juicier. For an even more daring take on the combo, try adding Thai peanut sauce to your next burger for an unforgettable flavor combination.

8

Chocolate and Chips

If you’ve ever poured a box of M&Ms right into your popcorn at the movie theater, this one’s for you. The salty-sweet combination is just delicious—there’s a reason chocolate-covered potato chips are a thing. Lay’s first released its chocolate-covered potato chips in 2013, but the pairing goes back way further than that. (If you’d rather stick to dipping your Lay’s in French onion dip, though, we don’t blame you.)

9

Banana and Bacon

While the true origins of this combo aren’t clear, it’s long been attributed, along with peanut butter, to Elvis Presley. There’s the sweet, carb-heavy banana, paired with creamy peanut butter and salty bacon, an unlikely but delicious trio perfect for sandwich-making.

10

Proscuitto and Melon

Combining salty and sweet flavors can be as simple as enjoying a bit of meat with fresh fruit. This Italian classic is perfect for a snack on a hot summer day. You can wrap the prosciutto around melon slices, or just eat the two side by side.

11

Peanut Butter and Pickle Sandwiches

The New York Times caught a lot of flak for suggesting readers add peas into their guacamole, but the paper also caused a bit of controversy with this peanut butter and pickle sandwich suggestion. For pickle lovers, there’s not much the tart flavor can’t improve, and peanut butter is sturdy enough to withstand the pickle juice without the sandwich falling apart. Or, as the Times put it, “The vinegary snap of the pickles tempers the unctuousness of the peanut butter, and it’s an unusual pantry sandwich for when luncheon meats leave you cold.”

12

Chicken and Pickle Brine

At this point, we’ve already conceded to frying chicken in Coca-Cola—and compared to that, chicken in pickle brine sounds downright normal. Supposedly, Chick-Fil-A cooks its chicken in pickle brine, which could explain why the fast-food chain has so many devotees. The pickle brine keeps the meat juicy, without overpowering its natural flavor.

13

Pizza and Ranch Dressing

A school cafeteria classic, this tried-and-true combination really hits the spot. The tangy ranch complements the tomato sauce perfectly—you wouldn’t think it would work, but it does.

As The New York Times reported, the pizza and ranch combination seems to have started when Domino’s offered ranch dressing alongside its wings in 1994. Endeavoring customers used the dressing for their pizzas, not just the wings, and the trend caught on.

14

Ketchup and Ranch Dressing

The orange-hued dressing that comes from mixing ketchup and ranch is so popular that Heinz is now making bottled “Kranch”. The dressing sounds like it would be good on anything from fries to sandwiches to salads. And you can always mix your own at home.

15

Blueberries and Steak

Google “blueberries and steak,” and you’ll find plenty of recipes for blueberry-based sauces to add to your filet. The fruit is sweet, but not too sweet, and it won’t overpower the meat’s flavor. If making your own steak sauce sounds too complicated, start off with a blueberry steak salad.

RELATED: The easy way to make healthier comfort foods.

16

Watermelon and Salt

If you haven’t tried this combo, you might think that salt would dry out the watermelon’s watery, sweet flavor. However, the opposite is true. As with many of the other savory-sweet combos on this list, a pinch of salt will actually enhance the flavor of the watermelon’s natural sweetness. And as HuffPost explained, the salt actually makes the watermelon taste less bitter, too.

17

Pickles and Ice Cream

Supposedly, this is a common pregnancy craving—there’s even a pregnancy-focused cookbook called Pickles and Ice Cream. As Slate explained, there was even an episode of I Love Lucy where a pregnant Lucy dipped a pickle into a papaya milkshake while she was pregnant. (If you thought it was weird to dip French fries into a Frosty, imagine this concoction.) Of course, you don’t have to be pregnant if you want to try this combination on your own. No judgment here!

18

Bloody Mary and Steak

We don’t just mean ordering the two items together at brunch this weekend. No, there are plenty of recipes for combining the two items, with the Bloody Mary serving as a sort of marinade for the meat. Once you try this Bloody Mary skirt steak recipe, you’ll be a convert. It’s not clear what endeavoring brunch-lover first had the creative marinade idea, but you’ll be thanking them once you’ve tried it.

19

Strawberry and Basil

If you’ve opened your mind to the possibility of combining strawberries and balsamic vinegar, strawberries and basil are just as winning a pair. The combination is delicious in drinks like lemonade, but there are plenty of recipes that combine the fruit and the herb, too. Whether you want to try a strawberry basil compote to top your desserts or a strawberry basil frozen yogurt recipe that stands on its own, the two of them really do pair well together.

20

Mango and Chili Powder

Spicy food lovers might be interested in adding a sweet element to their next heat-filled dish. As this recipe for a chili-mango chicken stir-fry will show you, adding sweet elements into a spicy dish only makes the flavor more delicious. Adding hot sauce to mango is a Mexican standby, and once you’ve tried it, you’ll understand the appeal.

21

Sesame and Chocolate

You might think of sesame seeds as the topping for to-go Chinese food or the buns from McDonald’s. But sesame is wonderfully versatile, and there’s a reason there are plenty of recipes for sesame and chocolate desserts. From black sesame truffles to sesame chocolate chip cookies, this is a simple but delicious flavor pairing you didn’t know you needed. Even Lindt makes a sesame chocolate bar!

22

Peanut Butter and Bacon

As with the banana and bacon combo, it looks like Elvis really was on to something. Even if you don’t include the banana in the combination, the contrasting smoothness of peanut butter and crunchiness of bacon really do elevate the experience of eating them together.

23

Sriracha and Peanut Butter

If you’re bored of the same-old PB&J, meet PB&S. Sriracha has that sweet aftertaste without the sugar overload that jams can bring. Plus, the peanut butter will help cut some of the sriracha’s spiciness. You don’t have to use a fancy recipe with this combination, either: Just load up a sandwich with both sriracha and peanut butter.

24

French Fries and Honey

If you want to add a bit of sweetness to your fries without a full-on serving of ice cream, honey can do the trick. Its sweet flavor goes perfectly with fast food’s salty goodness—there’s a reason McDonald’s offers honey among its chicken nugget dipping options.

25

Honey and Pizza

In a similar vein, honey makes an unexpectedly delicious pizza topping. Hot honey, in particular, is a delicious offset to the salt overload that comes with meat toppings like pepperoni. There’s a reason Emily in New York City has a cult following for their Colony pizza, which combines honey, pepperoni cups, and peppers for a sensory overload.

26

Hot Sauce and Ice Cream

If topping ice cream with olive oil is old hat for you, why not step it up a notch? Milk is a standard go-to for people trying to get that spicy taste out of their mouths, so this seems like the next step, in a way. If you’re feeling really adventurous, you could even make your own sriracha ice cream.

27

Green Apple and Salsa

Fruits like pineapple and mango are perfect in salsa, so why wouldn’t green apples be? Their tart flavor is perfect for spicy recipes, offsetting some of the heat while adding a tangy taste to the mix.

28

Miso and Butternut Squash

If you’ve only had the seasoning in the soup that comes at a Japanese steakhouse, you’re really missing out. Roasting butternut squash with miso or adding the seasoning to butternut squash soup adds a rich umami flavor to the sweet taste of the squash.

29

Watermelon and Feta

Feta is the star of the classic Greek salad, but it’s just as delicious when paired with fruit. Its dense texture makes it the perfect way to add more flavor to a juicy watermelon salad. Add in mint, and you’re good to go.

30

Peanut Butter and Mayo

This unlikely sandwich combo has a surprising number of fans. The Southern tradition came about in the Depression, but it’s stuck around for years, especially in those Southern states. While it may have been created out of lack of resources, the sandwich has stuck around thanks to its ability to meld two distinct flavors into one filling meal.

Now, are you brave enough to try out any of these unlikely treats?

The post 30 Weird But Totally Amazing Food Pairings appeared first on Eat This Not That.

[newyorktheater]

Below is a selection of the songs from the musical “Rent,” a version of which will be broadcast live on Fox tonight January 27, 2019,  8 to 11 p.m. The song titles are linked to lyrics as performed in the original 1996 Broadway production. Since it’s a sung-through musical, many of the songs are not very easy to sing along to, and some of the lyrics have been changed for the broadcast.

Original cast of Rent on Broadway in 1996

(Fox has an issued a statement that the original cast of Rent “will make an appearance” tonight)

For what “Rent” was like in 1996 — what Idina Menzel said then, and how Allen Ginsberg reacted wen I took him to see the show — click here

Rent One Song Glory Tango: Maureen La Vie Boheme Seasons of Love Take Me Or Leave Me Finale/Your Eyes

Jordan Fisher and Brennin Hunt as Mark and Roger

Vanessa Hudgens as Maureen

Brandon Victor Dixon as Tom Collins and Valentina as Angel

Tinashe and Brennin Hunt as Mimi and Roger

Tinashe as Mimi and Brennin Hunt as Roger

Vanessa Hudgens as Maureen and Kiersey Clemons as Joanne

Rent

[MARK] How do you document real life When real life’s getting more Like fiction each day Headlines–bread-lines Blow my mind And now this deadline “Eviction–or pay” Rent

[ROGER] How do you write a song When the chords sound wrong Though they once sounded right and rare When the notes are sour Where is the power You once had to ignite the air

[MARK] And we’re hungry and frozen

[ROGER] Some life that we’ve chosen

[MARK & ROGER] How we gonna pay How we gonna pay How we gonna pay Last year’s rent

[MARK] We light candles

[ROGER] How do you start a fire When there’s nothing to burn And it feels like something’s stuck in Your flue

[MARK] How can you generate heat When you can’t feel your feet

[MARK & ROGER] And they’re turning blue!

[MARK] You light up a mean blaze

[ROGER] With posters–

MARK And screenplays

[MARK & ROGER] How we gonna pay How we gonna pay How we gonna pay Last year’s rent

[JOANNE, on phone] Don’t screen, Maureen It’s me–Joanne Your substitute production manager Hey hey hey! Did you eat? Don’t change the subject Maureen But darling–you haven’t eaten all day

You won’t throw up You won’t throw up The digital delay Didn’t blow up, exactly There may have been one teeny tiny spark You’re not calling Mark!

[COLLINS] How do you stay on your feet When on every street It’s ‘trick or treat’ And tonight its ‘trick’ ‘Welcome back to town’ I should lie down Everything’s brown And uh-oh I feel sick

[MARK] Where is he?

[COLLINS] Getting dizzy

[MARK & ROGER] How we gonna pay How we gonna pay How we gonna pay Last year’s rent

[BENNY, on phone] Allison, baby – you sound sad I don’t believe those two After everything I’ve done

Ever since our wedding I’m dirt – they’ll see I can help them all out in the long run

Forces are gathering Forces are gathering Can’t turn away Forces are gathering

[COLLINS] Ughhhh Ughhhh Ughhhh – I can’t think Ughhhh Ughhhh Ughhhh – I need a drink

[MARK] “The music ignites the night with Passionate fire”

[JOANNE] Maureen, I’m not a theatre person

[ROGER] “The narration crackles and pops with Incendiary wit”

[JOANNE] Could never be a theatre person

[MARK] Zoom in as they burn the past to the ground

[MARK & ROGER] And feel the heat of the future’s glow

[JOANNE, on phone] Hello?

[MARK, on phone] Hello? Maureen? Your equipment won’t work? Okay, all right, I’ll go!

[MARK, 1/2 of COMPANY] How do you leave the past behind When it keep finding ways to get to your heart It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out ‘Til you’re torn apart Rent

[ROGER, 1/2 of COMPANY] How can you connect in an age Where strangers, landlords, lovers Your own blood cells betray

[COMPANY] What binds the fabric together When the raging, shifting winds of change Keep ripping away

[BENNY] Draw a line in the sand And then make a stand

[ROGER] Use your camera to spar

[MARK] Use your guitar

[COMPANY] When they act tough You call their bluff

[MARK & ROGER] We’re not gonna pay

[MARK & ROGER & 1/2 THE COMPANY] We’re not gonna pay

[MARK & ROGER & OTHER 1/2] We’re not gonna pay

[COMPANY] Last year’s rent This year’s rent Next year’s rent

Rent rent rent rent rent We’re not gonna pay rent

[MARK & ROGER] Cause everything is rent

One Song Glory

[Roger] One song Glory One song before I go Glory One song to leave behind

Find one song One last refrain Glory From the pretty boy front man Who wasted opportunity One song He had the world at his feet Glory In the eyes of a young girl A young girl Find glory beyond the cheap colored lights One song before the sun sets Glory On another empty life

Time flies Time dies Glory One blaze of glory One blaze of glory Glory Find glory the song that reigns true Truth like a blazing fire An eternal flame Find one song A song about love Glory From the soul of a young man A young man Find the one song before the virus takes hold Glory Like a sunset One song To redeem this empty life

Time flies And then no need to endure anymore Time dies

Tango: Maureen

[JOANNE, spoken] Mark?

[MARK, spoken] Hi

[JOANNE] I told her not to call you

[MARK] That’s Maureen, but can I help since I’m here

[JOANNE, spoken] I’ve hired an engineer

[MARK, spoken] Great! Well then, nice to have…

[JOANNE, spoken] Wait! She’s 3 hours late

[JOANNE] The samples won’t delay but the cable-

[MARK] There’s another way Say something, anything

[JOANNE] Test 1,2,3

[MARK] Anything but that

[JOANNE] This is weird

[MARK] It’s weird

[JOANNE] Very weird

[MARK] Fucking weird

[JOANNE] I’m so mad that I don’t know what to do Fighting with microphones Freezing down to my bones And to top it all off I’m with you

[MARK] Feel like going insane Got a fire in your brain And you’re thinking of drinking gasoline

[JOANNE] As a matter of fact

[MARK] Honey, I know this act It’s called the Tango: Maureen

The Tango: Maureen It’s a dark, dizzy, merry go round As she keeps you dangling (you’re wrong) Your heart she is mangling (it’s different with me) And you toss and you turn cause her cold eyes can burn Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound

[JOANNE] I think I know what you mean

[BOTH] The Tango: Maureen

[MARK] Has she ever pouted her lips and called you “Pookie?”

[JOANNE] Never

[MARK] Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?

[JOANNE] This is spooky

Did you swoon when she walked through the door?

[MARK] Every time, so be….cautious

[JOANNE] Did she moon over other boys?

[MARK] More than moon

[JOANNE] I’m getting nauseous

[MARK] Where’d you learn to tango?

[JOANNE] With the French ambassador’s daughter in her dorm room at Ms. Porters And you?

[MARK] With Nanette Himmelfarb, the rabbi’s daughter at the Scarsdale Jewish community center It’s hard to do this backwards

[JOANNE] You should try it in heels

[JOANNE] She cheated

[MARK] She cheated

[JOANNE] Maureen cheated

[MARK] Fucking cheated

[JOANNE] I’m defeated, I should give up right now

[MARK] Gotta look on the bright side with all of your might

[JOANNE] I’d fall for her still anyhow

[BOTH] When you’re dancing her dance You don’t stand a chance Her grip of romance makes you fall

[MARK] So you think might as well

[JOANNE] Dance a tango to hell

[BOTH] At least I’ll have tangoed at all

The Tango: Maureen Gotta dance ‘til your diva is through You pretend to believe her Cause in the end you can’t leave her But the end it will come Still you have to play dumb ‘Til you’re glum and you bum and turn blue

[MARK] Why do we love when she’s mean

[JOANNE] And she can be so obscene

[MARK, spoken] Try the mic

[JOANNE, spoken] My Maureen

[MARK, spoken] Patched!

[JOANNE, spoken] Thanks!

[MARK, spoken] You know, I feel great now!

[JOANNE, spoken] I feel lousy

[BOTH] The Tango: Maureen

La Vie Boheme

[WAITER] No, please no Not tonight, please no Mister, can’t you go? Not tonight, can’t have a scene

[ROGER] What?

[WAITER] Go, please go You — Hello, sir! — I said no Important customer

[MARK] What am I, just a blur?

[WAITER] You sit all night, you never buy!

[MARK] That’s a lie, that’s a lie! I had a tea the other day

[WAITER] You couldn’t pay

[MARK, spoken] Oh yeah…

[COLLINS] Benjamin Coffin III? Here?

[WAITER] Oh no!

[ALL] Wine and beer!

[MAUREEN] The enemy of Avenue A We’ll stay

[WAITER] Oy vey!

[COLLINS] What brings the mogul in his own mind To the Life Cafe?

[BENNY] I would like to propose a toast To Maureen’s noble try It went well

[MAUREEN] Go to Hell

[BENNY] Was the yuppie scum stomped? Not counting the homeless How many tickets weren’t comped?

[ROGER] Why did Muffy–

[BENNY] Alison

[ROGER] –miss the show?

[BENNY] There was a death in the family If you must know

[ANGEL] Who died?

[BENNY] Our Akita

[BENNY, MARK, ANGEL, COLLINS] Evita

[BENNY] Mimi, I’m surprised A bright and charming girl like you Hangs out with these slackers Who don’t adhere to deals

They make fun, yet I’m the one Attempting to do some good Or do you really want a neighborhood Where people piss on your stoop every night?

Bohemia, Bohemia’s A fallacy in your head This is Calcutta Bohemia is dead

[MARK] Dearly beloved We gather here to say our goodbyes

[COLLINS & ROGER] Dies irae, dies illa Kyrie eleison Yitgadal veyitkadash

[MARK] Here she lies No one knew her worth The late great daughter of Mother Earth On this night when we celebrate the birth In that little town of Bethlehem We raise our glass You bet your ass, to La vie Bohème

[ALL] La vie Bohème La vie Bohème La vie Bohème La vie Bohème

[MARK] To days of inspiration Playing hooky Making something out of nothing The need to express To communicate To going against the grain Going insane Going mad

To loving tension, no pension To more than one dimension To starving for attention Hating convention Hating pretension Not to mention, of course Hating dear old Mom and Dad

To riding your bike Midday past the three-piece suits To fruits To no absolutes To Absolut To choice To The Village Voice To any passing fad

To being an us, for once Instead of a them

[ALL] La vie Bohème La vie Bohème

[MAUREEN] Is the equipment in a pyramid?

[JOANNE] It is, Maureen

[MAUREEN] The mixer doesn’t have a case Don’t give me that face

[MR. GREY] Ahem

[MAUREEN] Hey, Mister She’s my sister

[WAITER] So that’s five miso soup Four seaweed salad Three soy burger dinner Two tofu dog platter And one pasta with meatless balls

[A BOY] Ew

[COLLINS] It tastes the same

[MIMI] If you close your eyes

[WAITER] And thirteen orders of fries Is that it here?

[ALL] Wine and beer!

[MIMI & ANGEL] To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou

[MAUREEN & COLLINS] Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion Creation, vacation

[MARK] Mucho masturbation

[MAUREEN & COLLINS] Compassion, to fashion, to passion When it’s new

[COLLINS] To Sontag

[ANGEL] To Sondheim

[FOUR PEOPLE] To anything taboo

[COLLINS & ROGER] Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham, and Cage

[COLLINS] Lenny Bruce

[ROGER] Langston Hughes

[MAUREEN] To the stage

[PERSON #1] To Uta

[COLLINS] To Buddha

[PERSON #4] Pablo Neruda, too

[MARK & MIMI] Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow To blow off Auntie Em

[ALL] La vie Bohème

[MAUREEN] And wipe the speakers off before you pack

[JOANNE] Yes, Maureen

[MAUREEN] Well, hurry back

(they kiss)

[MR. GREY] Sisters?

[MAUREEN] We’re close

(MAUREEN and JOANNE move to the side to reveal ANGEL and COLLINS kissing)

[ANGEL, COLLINS, MARK, MR. GREY] Brothers!

[MARK, ANGEL, MIMI & THREE OTHERS] Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men Pee-wee Herman German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa Carmina Burana

[ALL] To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy Vaclav Havel, The Sex Pistols, 8BC To no shame, never playing the Fame Game

[COLLINS] To marijuana

[ALL] To sodomy It’s between God and me To S & M

[MR. GREY] Waiter… Waiter… Waiter!

[ALL] La vie Bohème

[COLLINS, spoken] In honor of the death of bohemia, an impromtu salon will commence immediately following dinner. Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred

[ROGER, spoken] And Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on high holy days

[MARK, spoken] Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot, will sing Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello, which she has never studied

[BENNY] Your new boyfriend doesn’t know about us

[MIMI] There’s nothing to know

[BENNY] Don’t you think that we should discuss —

[MIMI] It was three months ago

[BENNY] He doesn’t act like he’s with you

[MIMI] We’re taking it slow

[BENNY] Where is he now?

[MIMI] He’s right — Hmm

[BENNY] Uh huh…

[MIMI] Where’d he go?

[MARK, spoken] And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song

(Roger picks up a guitar and plays)

That doesn’t remind us of “Musetta’s Waltz”

[COLLINS, spoken] Angel Dumott Schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub

[ANGEL, spoken] And Collins will recount his exploits as anarchist, including the tale of the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipment to self-destruct, as it broadcasts the words:

[ALL, spoken] “Actual Reality – ACT UP – Fight AIDS!”

[BENNY] Check!!

[MIMI] Excuse me, did I do something wrong? I get invited, then ignored all night long

[ROGER] I’ve been trying, I’m not lying No one’s perfect, I’ve got baggage

[MIMI] Life’s too short, babe, time is flying I’m looking for baggage that goes with mine

[ROGER] I should tell you–

[MIMI] I’ve got baggage too

[ROGER] I should tell you–

[BOTH] Baggage Wine–

[OTHERS] –And beer!

[MIMI] AZT break

[ROGER] You?

[MIMI] Me. You?

[ROGER] Mimi

Seasons of Love

[All] 525,600 minutes 525,000 moments so dear 525,600 minutes How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife In 525,600 minutes How do you measure a year in the life?

How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love Seasons of love Seasons of love

[Joanne] 525,600 minutes 525,000 journeys to plan 525,600 minutes How do you measure the life of a woman or man?

[Collins] In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried In bridges he burned, or the way that she died

[All] It’s time now to sing out Though the story never ends Let’s celebrate, remember a year In the life of friends

[All & Joanne] Remember the love You got to, you got to remember the love Remember the love You know that love is a gift from up above Remember the love Share love, give love, spread love Measure in love Seasons of love Seasons of love Measure, measure your life in love

Take Me Or Leave Me

[MAUREEN] Every single day I walk down the street I hear people say ‘baby’s so sweet’ Ever since puberty Everybody stares at me Boys, girls, I can’t help it baby So be kind And don’t lose your mind Just remember that I’m your baby

Take me for what I am Who I was meant to be And if you give a damn Take me, baby Or leave me Take me baby or leave me

A tiger in a cage can never see the sun This diva needs her stage baby let’s have fun You are the one I choose Folks would kill to fill your shoes You love the limelight too now baby So be mine And don’t waste my time Crying oh honey bear are you still my my my baby (don’t you dare)

Take me for what I am Who I was meant to be And if you give a damn Take me baby or leave me

No way Can I be what I’m not But hey Don’t you want your girl hot? Don’t fight Don’t lose you head Cause every night who’s in your bed Who? Who’s in your bed Kiss pookie

[JOANNE] It won’t work I look before I leap I love margins and discipline I make lists in my sleep baby What’s my sin? Never quit I follow through I hate mess but I love you What to do with my impromptu baby So be wise Cause this girl satisfies You got a prize so don’t compromise You’re one lucky baby

[JOANNE] Take me for what I am Who I was meant to be And if you give a damn Take me baby or leave me [MAUREEN] Control freak Snob yet over attentive Lovable droll geek Anal retentive That’s it The straw that breaks my back I quit Unless you take it back Women, what is it about them? Can’t live With them or without them

Take me for what I am Who I was meant to be (who I was meant to be) And if you give a damn (and if you give a damn) Take me baby (oh take me, baby) Or leave me (take me or leave me) Take me, baby Or leave me

Guess I’m leaving I’m gone

Without You

[MIMI] Without you The ground thaws The rain falls The grass grows Without you The seeds root The flowers bloom The children play The stars gleam The poets dream The eagles fly Without you The earth turns The sun burns But I die Without you

Without you The breeze warms The girl smiles The cloud moves Without you The tides change The boys run The oceans crash The crowds roar The days soar The babies cry Without you The moon glows The river flows But I die Without you

[ROGER] The world revives—

[MIMI] Colors renew—

[BOTH] But I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within me blue

[MIMI] Without you Without you The hand gropes The ear hears The pulse beats

[ROGER] Without you The eyes gaze The legs walk The lungs breathe

[ROGER (MIMI)] The mind churns! (The mind churns!) The heart yearns! (The heart yearns!)

[BOTH] The tears dry Without you Life goes on But I’m gone Cause I die

[ROGER] Without you

[MIMI] Without you

[ROGER] Without you

[BOTH] Without you

Finale/Your Eyes

ALL SEVEN HOMELESS] Christmas bells are ringing Christmas bells are ringing Christmas bells are ringing How time flies When compassion dies No stockings No candy canes No gingerbread No safety net No loose change No change no

[ONE HOMELESS MAN] “Santy Claus is coming”

[ALL SEVEN HOMELESS] Cause Santy Claus ain’t coming No room at the Holiday Inn again Well, maybe next year Or — when

[MARK] December 24th, ten PM Eastern standard time I can’t believe a year went by so fast Time to see what we have time to see Turn the projector on First shot Roger With the fender guitar he just got out of hock When he sold the car That took him away and back

[ROGER] I found my song

[MARK] He found his song If he could just find Mimi

[ROGER] I tried – you know I tried

[MARK] Fade in on Mark Who’s still in the dark

[ROGER] But he’s got great footage

[MARK] Which he’s cut together

[ROGER] To screen tonight

[MARK] In honor of Benny’s wife

[ROGER] Muffy

[MARK] Alison Pulling Benny out of the East Village location

[ROGER] Then again, maybe we won’t screen it tonight

[MARK (spoken)] I wonder how Alison found out about Mimi?

[ROGER (spoken)] Maybe a little bird told her

[COLLINS] Or an angel I had a little hunch that you could use a little flow

[ROGER] Tutoring again?

[COLLINS] Negative

[MARK] Back at N.Y.U.?

[COLLINS] No, no, no I rewired the ATM at the food emporium To provide an honorarium to anyone with the code

[ROGER & MARK] The code Well…?

[COLLINS] A-N-G-E-L Yet Robin Hooding isn’t the solution The powers that be must be undermined where they dwell In a small, exclusive gourmet institution Where we overcharge the wealthy clientele

[COLLINS] Let’s open up a restaurant in Santa Fe

[MARK & ROGER] Santa Fe

[COLLINS] With a private corner banquette

[COLLINS, MARK, & ROGER] In the back

[COLLINS] We’ll make it yet, we’ll somehow get to Santa Fe

[MARK & ROGER] Santa Fe

[ROGER] But you’d miss New York before you could unpack

[COLLINS, MARK, & ROGER] Ohh

[MAUREEN] Mark! Roger! Anyone – help!

[MARK] Maureen?

[MAUREEN] It’s Mimi – I can’t get her up the stairs

[ROGER] No

[MAUREEN] She was huddled in the park in the dark And she was freezing And begged to come here

[ROGER] Over here Oh, God

[MIMI] Got a light – I know you – you’re shivering

[JOANNE] She’s been living on the street

[ROGER] We need some heat

[MIMI] I’m shivering

[MARK] We can buy some wood and something to eat

[COLLINS] I’m afraid she needs more than heat

[MIMI] I heard that

[MAUREEN] Collins will call for a doctor, honey

[MIMI] Don’t waste your money on Mimi, me, me

[COLLINS] Hello 911? I’m on hold

[MIMI] Cold…cold… would you light my candle?

[ROGER] Yes we’ll oh God – find a candle

[MIMI] I should tell you I should tell you

[ROGER] I should tell you I should tell you

[MIMI] I should tell you Benny wasn’t any

[ROGER] Shhh–I know I should tell you why I left It wasn’t cause I didn’t

[MIMI] I know I should tell you

[ROGER] I should tell you

[MIMI] I should tell you I love you

[ROGER] Who do you think you are? Leaving me alone with my guitar Hold on! There’s something you should hear It isn’t much but it took all year

#RentLive: Song Lyrics and Photographs Below is a selection of the songs from the musical "Rent," a version of which will be broadcast live on Fox tonight January 27, 2019,  8 to 11 p.m.