#to HAVE a space to be in. to have little headcanons and cute domestic ficlets and angsty ficlets and meta posts! because that didn't used

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

I wanna say, I know sometimes my Chestervelle posts/memes are kinda pointed and bitter (and that is just coming from a place of frustration from being on this site and blogging about them for so long) but my goal with those posts isn't directed at anyone in particular or to hate against other ships involving Dean and Jo. I just want to create content that's validating to other Chestervelle shippers, because even though we keep in our circle and don't start things, sometimes people go out of their way to come into our spaces to belittle and invalidate our ship.

I'm not making memes and posts as a huge middle finger to people who don't ship it. I make memes and posts for other Chestervelle shippers to say that you are valid. You're not wrong and you have just as much right to take up space in this fandom as anyone else.

[nct-oli]

I also miss atots! I wanna read your ramblings so may I ask what are some of your head canon for phutian whether it’s during the series or post-series.

HI!! You’re so sweet. I am so sorry that I haven’t responded to this sooner! Life got really hectic, and it honestly kind of stole my creativity, to the point where I read this back when you sent it, but I could not think of a single headcanon at all.

But I’m here and I’m going to finally talk about some because I rewatched ATOTS with a friend and it sparked some headcanons in the process!!

1) This is probably my biggest headcanon. Phupha and Tian wrote emails to each other during their two years apart. I’ve seen some people say letters, and of course letters are super cute and classically romantic. Plus they are fitting given that’s how Tian was communicating with Phupha when he returned to Bangkok. But the reasons I like emails for them are:

Getting letters domestically to a rural village is one thing, but getting them internationally without some of them getting lost feels a bit less likely. And I think Tian and Phupha would know that. So emails are a more consistent and reliable form of communication.

Obviously Phupha can’t access the internet from the village, but you know who does have internet? Dr. Nam. I very much love the idea of Phupha strolling into the clinic every so often trying to be all cool and not at all giddy to check for a new email from Tian, and Dr. Nam never, ever letting him use the computer without a lot of proud best friend teasing. Remember when Phupha went to Dr. Nam to ask what a scar on the chest would mean? Yes, just like that, except regularly. (And when Phupha doesn’t go to Dr. Nam’s clinic, he could go to town to check his email too.)

This part doesn’t really fit the canon storyline at all given Phupha was still gazing at the only photo he had taken of Tian two whole years after taking it and also Phupha never told the children where Tian was. BUT think of the photos they could send each other. Tian sending photos of himself in various places in the US, his hand with Phupha’s ring always visible so Phupha can be there with him for every adventure. Phupha sending photos of the kids as they grow, the tea sachet business (or whatever the villagers end up doing with Mr. Sakda gone), the very rare selfie by a rather self-conscious chief... sending physical letters limits the number of printed photos they could send each other. Plus printing photos may be a bit easier for Tian, given he can just print them at a nearby Walgreens or something, or even have them ordered online. But that would be tougher for Phupha, needing to leave the village and find somewhere. So emailing photos back and forth would be easier.

Imagine Tian printing every email sent back and forth and collecting them. Imagine him in the library with the biggest smile on his face, printing out emails to and from his mountain boyfriend back in Thailand and his university friends watching him with the most confused but intrigued eyes. I love it. I love that idea.

I remember there being discussion post-finale about whether Tian and Phupha communicated in that time at all. The discussion revolves especially around how at ease they seemed in their Pha Pun Dao cliff reunion and they didn’t quite act as though they had been fully apart for two whole years. And I fullheartedly believe they had contact, even if very infrequent. I think they found a way. And while I do think letters are incredibly romantic and fitting, I just have this fondness to emails. Maybe it’s a result of watching We Best Love recently. I’m not sure.

2) Tian chose to go to the US ultimately on his own. Now, we all know his mother is the one who picked the university for him and “sent him away.” But I do like the idea that, after coming to terms with the fact that maybe running away to Pha Pun Dao immediately wasn’t the best plan, especially if Phupha wanted to forget him, he grew to like the idea of going abroad. It would be his chance to have probably as much freedom as he could get. He wanted to go to the US before he died (episode 3 conversation with Tul). He could take time to himself, without the influence of anyone else, and figure out just what he wanted for his life. And when Phupha showed up at the airport and they got their true feelings out in the open, Tian didn’t feel like his family was pushing him away from the man he loved and the life he wanted; he felt that he had agency in choosing the US and asking Phupha to wait for him, to give him the chance to figure out this new chapter first. I find comfort believing Tian didn’t board that plane feeling resentful but instead feeling hopeful. And when he returned, he wasn’t filled with regrets. He was filled with excitement that he was returning home to Pha Pun Dao and Phupha right on time. (Plus Phupha had more confidence when Tian returned to him that he truly wanted to be there in the village with him, because despite literally traveling the world and seeing so many options available to him for places to build his future, Tian still chose Pha Pun Dao.)

3) The teacher’s house remains Tian’s home too. Hear me out: I don’t mean full time. I’m obviously a massive softie for domestic PhuTian, so I want him to still stay with Phupha. And Phupha probably can’t leave the base permanently, as he’s the chief and needs to be there regularly for his rangers, so the two of them can’t move into the teacher’s house fully either. But Phupha’s room is quite small. I love the idea that Tian still escapes sometimes out to the teacher’s house where it’s quiet and he can still have his own space. A space to lesson plan, to take the students when they need a new environment, to feel connected to his three original months in the village when he fell in love with the people and his person (Phupha). That house was his home, and while Phupha’s place is now also his home, I like the idea that Tian still keeps that house for himself too. At least so long as it isn’t needed by anyone else. (Also, if Phupha and Tian need space, well, there’s no Yod out there to start knocking.)

4) This semi-connects to the last one. When Tian and Phupha finally get married, they have a ceremony in the village and Tian convinces Tul to stay a night in Pha Pun Dao. His parents come to the wedding too, but they stay in a hotel in the city, where Tul stays some nights except for the night Tian gets him to stay with him. Tian and Tul stay in the teacher’s house, and Tian tells him all about his many nights sleeping there. Tul is, well, not convinced of its appeal at first, but watching Tian share his stories with the brightest smile, he decides he can warm up to it a little bit. And after seeing Tian with Phupha, with the kids, and with the rest of the village, and finally understanding how perfectly Tian fits in Pha Pun Dao, it starts to make sense to him why some of the luxuries don’t matter to Tian anymore... will Tul himself ever move to a rural village like that? Absolutely not. He’s not convinced that much. But the joy that village life brings his best friend and the glow he exhibits is enough to leave Tul content for one night on a hard mattress inside a mosquito net in the middle of seemingly nowhere. (No but really, imagine the chaos of Tul trying to live in Pha Pun Dao for a night. I want to watch that so much.)

5) Okay, I hope the couple that got married have a child and that child goes to school under Tian’s teaching. Or someone else in the village has a child. Imagine Tian getting a new student and having to navigate a classroom with early teenagers and a tiny kid. (Headcanon within a headcanon: Tian did a LOT of research during his two years abroad specifically on multi-aged classrooms because he knew he wanted to return to Pha Pun Dao one day and would need the skills.)

6) Longtae and Tian most definitely go on that trip across the border that Longtae wanted (just a couple years late). And they have the best time. Longtae tells Tian about any new stories from university. Tian shares stories about his students and tries not to talk about Phupha too much but occasionally can’t help it, to which Longtae smiles brightly like the cute bestie he is. And the two of them get the CUTEST photos that Longtae prints for Tian immediately when he gets back to the city.

All of these headcanons are for those two years away or after he returns. I’m trying to think of some headcanons for the show prior to ep 10 part 4/4...

6) OH this doesn’t necessarily have to be before ep 10 part 4/4 in the timeline, but Phupha and the rangers apologize to Tian and the villagers for not telling them about Torfun’s death sooner and that burden being left for Tian to carry instead. I just want that settled.

7) HERE’S ONE FOR WITHIN THE SERIES TIMELINE. At the wedding in episode 4, Phupha didn’t deny it when Dr. Nam called Tian Phupha’s guy. So yes, of course Dr. Nam started calling Tian that all of the time, to which Phupha did eventually argue against but he secretly liked hearing it. His guy.

8) I’m back to going outside of the timeline again... all of my headcanons are for after the series it seems. Oops. But Tian most definitely brought the kite to Pha Pun Dao with him, and it hangs very proudly on the wall in their room. Tian tells Phupha about how he had it flying back at his family house in Bangkok, how seeing it blow in the wind brought him comfort when he felt homesick for the village and for Phupha. That knowledge had Phupha smiling for the rest of the week.

I’m running out of ideas. I kind of wanted to hit ten, but I just don’t have ten headcanons off the top of my head. BUT if I think of anymore, I’m sure I’ll post about them somewhere. Maybe I’ll even write a ficlet about some of these... I used to write those here and there, way back when... we’ll see.

Thank you again for your message, anon! You are a wonderful human. I’m sorry for taking so long to respond, but I didn’t forget about your message or ignore it. I just couldn’t get my brain to give me anything to respond with! I hope my rambling was sufficient for you. <3

(Also man, I miss writing about ATOTS so ridiculously much. This felt so familiar and also kind of sad. Phupha, Tian, villagers... come back to us. I miss you.)

[lost-in-purgaytory]

Dean Winchester’s Lonely Ex-Boyfriend Club (AO3) 

​Description: Ficlet. Dean and Cas are getting married! Pretty much everyone they ever met is attending, and that includes exes - some react more maturely than others. Inspired by all the headcanons I have seen about Benny and Crowley at the wedding. Some background about Dean/Benny in Purgatory, bitter Crowley, implied wedding hookups, and of course some cute Dean/Cas fluff.

“So… finally settling down with that angel of yours now, are you?” Benny teased in his soft voice, leaning on the bar.

Dean took a swig of his perfectly ice-cold heaven beer and looked over his shoulder with a fond smile at Cas, who was dancing wildly with Charlie and Gabriel, margarita in hand and wearing approximately half a button up shirt.

“Looks like it,” Dean sighed proudly and shook his head at how unbelievably lucky he was (now that he thought about it, how unbelievably sappy he was too). He huffed a short laugh through his nose at his damn happy self and took another sip of his drink.

Benny appraised him thoughtfully. “Well, you sure look happy.”

Dean nodded and tucked his chin down sheepishly, eyes crinkling. “You know, I really am, man. I really am.”

It was surreal how happy he was, actually - totally foreign and amazing. It wasn’t like he never had a happy moment before in his life, he’d had several, but there was always this voice in the back of his head saying ‘this is only temporary’ and ‘you’ll lose this - probably sooner rather than later.’ But that little voice was gone now. For the first time, Dean was truly at peace. Like some kind of zen master, appreciating every god damn second of his hopeful eternity. There was some real hippie shit going on inside of him right now.

“It was a long freakin’ road getting here,” Dean continued, lost in his own amazement, completely starry-eyed. “I mean, you were there for part of it, so you have some idea. But I never thought… I mean, damn…"

Benny’s signature smirk didn’t waver, but there was a sadness in it too. “And here I thought you were lovesick before, mate,” he joked.

“Oh, shut up,” Dean smiled back, actually having to fight off a blush thinking back to all those times Benny teased him about his affections for Cas back in purgatory - affections which Dean vehemently denied at the time (kinda hard to do when you're crying out a dude's name in your sleep every damn night).

Dean took another large swig of beer, as Benny’s gaze intensified over him - humor and a hint of soulful longing. Exes at the wedding, man… awkward.

But Benny was family, who earned his spot in Dean’s life and his invite to the wedding… just as much as any other guest; more than some of the other guests actually. Like Crowley, for example who was nursing a tumbler of whisky a couple seats over.

If it wasn’t for Benny fighting by his side so loyally as a trusted friend, through the muck and the dark, Dean might never have found Cas in purgatory.

And if Dean was being completely honest with himself (which he was trying to make a habit of, nowadays), Benny helped him in more ways than one. Turns out Dean had needed a big strong vamp with an accent to lead him into some no-strings-attached temptation in purgatory. Under pretense, of course, to maintain plausible deniability.

'Come on boy, we've both got needs and we're not exactly flush with options in this wasteland.’

'We gotta let off some steam every now and again if we wanna stay sharp.’

'What happens in purgatory, stays in purgatory.'

‘Nothing to be ashamed of, love. And don't worry, I won't bite. Unless you ask nicely.’

Apparently, Dean needed that nudge to help him let go of some of that inner shame that kept him from truly accepting that he was attracted to men. And more importantly, Cas.

It probably wasn't normal to invite your ex-vampire fuck buddy to your heaven wedding to your angel best friend, but when had his life ever been normal?

Benny was a crucial player in putting Dean on the right path, into the arms of his angel. And that was all that mattered, so Dean was grateful.

Benny’s constant teasing about Dean being in love with his ‘mysterious angel boyfriend’ made him come to terms with the fact that he had real (scary) feelings for Cas that couldn’t be denied, and made him realize (too late) that he was in love with Cas, as the portal spat him out with Cas still trapped on the other side.

Not too late, he realized suddenly, looking back over his shoulder, floored by the easy smile on his Cas's face as he spun Claire in a circle, in a clumsy imitation of swing dancing. He would have to interrupt soon and teach Cas some real swing-dancing, get some more one-on-one time with his husband.

His goddamn husband.

“I must say…" Benny interrupted Dean's thoughts before they could drift into a domestic daydream, "there were plenty of times I thought, Dean buddy, Hot-Wings clearly aint worth all this trouble,” he shook his head affectionately. “But lookin’ at you now, I figure I was wrong. Happy looks good on you, my friend.”

“Thanks, man,” Dean beamed, holding up his beer for a toast. Benny clinked their glasses together amicably.

“Oh spare me,” Crowley grumbled next to them. “If I have to hear one more heartfelt expression of love and respect, I might just puke all over this cute little reception.”

They both collectively ignored him. Crowley took this as a signal to down the rest of his drink and order a refill with a demanding snap of his fingers.

"Your angel better treat you right," Benny said, politely flagging for a refill of his own.

"No doubts about that," Dean assured.

Suddenly, Cas was at his side, tugging at his sleeve. "Dean!" Cas enthused. Instinctively, Dean tucked him closer into his side and gazed lovingly down at Cas and his endearingly excited expression. "Claire is setting up something called 'limbo' - the dance, not the metaphysical plane. I'm not exactly sure what it entails but I am told it is a tradition."

"Damn right, it's a tradition!" Dean grinned. He couldn't wait to watch Cas do the limbo. Oh, and they had to do conga line at some point. There were still so many human things he wanted to show Cas. A lifetime of things. "Wish my knees weren't so fucked. The limbo's one of the rare things I completely suck at."

Cas cocked his head and squinted his eyes, in the most beautifully Cas way. "This is heaven, Dean. You no longer have any physical ailments or limitations."

Dean pondered that for half a second. "Well, in that case…" he pulled Cas in closer and placed a kiss beneath his ear. Cas melted into him and Dean couldn't wait to get him alone after the festivities, their honeymoon could last for eternity if they so desired. "Might as well take these bad boys for a test drive."

Dean, blissfully happy, dragged his equally blissful husband to the dancefloor, completely forgetting his manners and leaving Benny chuckling at the bar without so much as a 'see you around'.

"Typical, is it not?" Crowley drawled, swirling his drink. "Fool takes one look at that bloody angel and disappears."

"I hate to tell you this, pal," Benny said, sauntering into Crowley's space. "But the jealous ex at a wedding doesn't usually get much sympathy."

"I'm nobody's jealous ex!" the demon growled.

"My mistake," the vampire returned flirtatiously. "Six tequila shots for me and my new friend, please," he ordered casually, without taking his eyes off Crowley.

Crowley raised his eyebrows questioningly, looking Benny up and down with new intrigue.

Benny shrugged. "Open bar. No point sulkin' around all evening." He pushed a shot glass in front of Crowley with his knuckle. "Aren't demons supposed to be the life of the party?"

"You should know I take challenges very seriously..." Crowley threatened, a smile gracing the corner of his lips for the first time all day.

"Countin' on it."

"Well then. To being the life of the party," Crowley announced suavely, lifting the glass from the bar.

"Cheers," Benny agreed, and they downed the hatch.

If they snuck off together at any point during the evening, nobody noticed, too busy paying attention to the happy couple.

[septiembrre]

He’s pulled a second brush out from the pantry stock, and he reaches over her head to help her with the tall spots. She feels a little lightheaded and she’s not sure if it’s all the cleaning chemicals or if it’s that her nose can still zero in on Rio’s cologne. Together, moving along to the music, they make quick work of the bathroom ... Thoughts creep up reminding her of the state of her sheets after that afternoon in her bedroom, and how she tended that bed alone afterward.

AW! Wow, it feels like I wrote this so long ago but it was March. Thanks for asking about it, friend <3

If it wasn’t common knowledge before, I’m a glutton for Brio fluff. I feel called to write endlessly about Beth and Rio cohabitating space together and doing banal couple things. So, kind of like pynkhue’s beautiful Center & Circumference series but perhaps a million times more mundane and without any semblance of a compelling plot. This ideal fic would essentially be loosely strung together scenes of:

- Beth & Rio criming

- Beth & Rio snuggling (and napping)

- Beth & Rio fucking (but really more on the lazy, cozy sex side of the spectrum)

- Beth & Rio cooking 

I want him sharing Mexican food with her

I want them sharing the things they respectively love to make for their kids

I want Rio to develop a sweet tooth for Beth’s desserts

I can imagine Rio enjoying cooking but I want Beth to endlessly school him on the intricacies of baking

And generally, I want Rio keeping Beth company as she pulls off magnificent creations in the kitchen and them making food together, and involving their kids

Oh! And Rio getting Beth tipsy and/or high and then giving her elaborate cooking challenges asking her to incorporate various flavor profiles

When did I get this soft? Eesh, it’s embarrassing. 

So, I really wanted to write about Rio & Beth cleaning. AND I felt very self-conscious about this ficlet because I was worried about gender/racial implications. I struggle with writing Beth and her in-character skills from years of being a homemaker. I want to give her power in that identify but I don’t want to overly gender her/trap her in feminity in a toxic way. Rio, too! I don’t want to play into gross masculine tropes while also acknowledging how macho he can play it. I also debated a bit about the racialization of having a Latinx guy be good at cleaning... but, I decided fuck it! Everyone should know how to clean up after themselves, and tbh Rio has probably had to do some serious murder cleaning. 

So this fic was inspired by a loose idea of Beth and Rio comparing cleaning skills and trading tips. Beth’s cleaning knowledge is borne of years of caring for four baby terrors and one boorish husband terror, and Rio’s are from being a Dad to a singular perfect child and all!the!executions! 

“He’s pulled a second brush out from the pantry stock, and he reaches over her head to help her with the tall spots”

I stan an independent boy who can figure out how to be helpful without being told. I ALSO STAN A HEIGHT DIFFERENCE. Brio complement each other magnificently physically and I try to incorporate this a lot. 

“She feels a little lightheaded and she’s not sure if it’s all the cleaning chemicals or if it’s that her nose can still zero in on Rio’s cologne.”

Is it the bathroom bleach? Is it Rio basically encompassing her with his body while he supports Beth in expelling her anxiety? Who can truly say. 

“Together, moving along to the music, they make quick work of the bathroom.” 

Yes, they are still listening to Millionaria by Rosalia. 100% recommend to others that they listen to it in the context of Brio. They cute. For any other Mexicans reading this, I did heavily consider making it a Juan Gabriel song but I knew it would be OOC. You don’t bring the Mexican musical canon out to your white non-boo. Rio would probably bring out the Juan Gabriel in the context of them living together for years, while they’re cleaning on a Sunday morning. AND YOU KNOW HOMEBOY HAS THE BELLAS ARTES PERFORMANCE ON LP. (The specificity of my headcanons probably doesn’t thrill anyone else but they thrill me!) So, in this moment, I thought he might play it trendy~* Malamente was also on the show and it was a rare Spanish-language track selection and I wanted to call back to it. 

“Together, moving along to the music, they make quick work of the bathroom. Beth gets the linens out of the dryer. Rio helps her with the sheets.“

Laundry nerds! <3 Laundry nerds who are bopping!!! <3 <3 <3 

I don’t mean to be overly petty in typecasting Dean as a The Worst Man in all history of mediocre white men of suburbia, but you know homegirl is doing the laundry by herself. I wanted to low key write about them doing all of the domesticity in this ficlet together as a suggestion for Beth about what a more equitable home life could look like. 

“Thoughts creep up reminding her of the state of her sheets after that afternoon in her bedroom, and how she tended that bed alone afterward.”

*insert 20 side-eye emojis here* I love being mean to them. I love putting them in situations where they have to purposefully NOT talk about how they had sex.

They’re dumb and magnificent. I hate/love them.