#to a lot of people (friends and otherwise) im a dyke which is fine but i hope no one expects me to act on that label LMAO

[fangparade]

honestly i rarely refer to myself as lesbian anymore but also i dont refer to myself as anything because well! going off of lived experience i um dont have any. and going off of, idk, like, who i picture myself sharing a life with in the future i dont really do that either! so really who's to say. also it doesnt matter, life is fucking short

[dykespreads]

think imma butch bi dyke. if ur fine with sharing, what were your experiences with dykehood as a bi woman? i honestly feel really nervous but contented w dyke as a whole, i dont wanna be considered lesphobic or whatever :(

well im going to be 100% transparent with you that regardless of your intentions you will be called a lesbophobe by some people, the nature of tumblr is to paint whoever you disagree with as your oppressor and a monster and you just have to deal with that. in irl spaces it matters significantly less and nobody (at least in my experience) will question your choices. it helped me a lot because i have a lot of irl friends that are bi or lesbian or trans so everyone is pretty understanding and not quite so “if you say something i disagree with you are cancelled forever and i will make sure i convince everyone that you’re a terf” which has happened to me over dyke discourse with online tumblr “friends” despite me obviously not being a terf, given that im trans and my gf is a trans woman. but on to the point, i have reblogged a ton of cited essays and resources on bi women’s history in lesbian spaces, our impact on those spaces, our historical right on butch/femme/dyke and our current right and usage of butch/femme/dyke so if that kind of proof reassures you i definitely recommend looking through my blog. tumblr search feature is super awful so i’m sorry it’s not more accessible but you should be able to search for key terms and find it. my personal experience with dykehood comes largely from comphet, living in racist christian south, and some homophobic experiences with past girlfriends. ive always known i’ve liked girls and ive spent a long LONG time flip flopping between lesbian and bi, and lo and behold my lived reality and the way people treat me when im with a girl literally does not change at all. that leaves me to believe that it doesn’t matter. whether i personally ID as bi or lesbian does not matter because my experiences won’t change. im still in a loving committed relationship with a girl and am visibly gay. ergo im a dyke. i won’t be ashamed about it.  *and yes i am aware the dictionary definition of dyke as written by cishets says that it means lesbian. but gay marriage was also banned in the united states. does that mean that two bi women, who aren’t techincally gay men or lesbians, could marry? no stop being fucking stupid anti-wlw language has always revolved around lesbians that doesn’t mean bi women were just unfortunately caught in the cross fire. the sacred lesbian only experience doesn’t exist, unless its specifically “i identify as a lesbian”. all wlw are subject to comphet, corrective r*pe (though i may agree that it has different connotations among lesbians, i can personally say lesbians are not the only ones targeted for being “cured” of their attraction to women, and r*pe CERTAINLY does not feel better just because you hypothetically could like a man lmao get your fucking heads out of your asses), prejudice, feeling predatory, loving women, being gnc, having an estranged parent relationship, not feeling really like a true woman, confliction with gender roles, not loving men or wanting to be with men, having trauma, facing misogyny and homophobia, etc etc. literally name something and i will make a counter argument for it, because me or a bi woman i know has lived it. wlw have been going through this shit together since the dawn of time. and radical feminism and political lesbianism warped us. a lot of these arguments about bi women being available to men are misogynistic and extremely biphobic and literally ACTUAL terf rhetoric. terfs, especially terfs that are wlw, have something to gain from painting lesbians as this group that is being set in on all sides by men (and trans women), and that bi women are using their privilege by being close to men to push lesbians down, and are class traitors. tldr; people will hate you no matter what you do. bi women helped build the lesbian community before radical feminism, terfs, and political lesbianism drove bi women out of the lesbian community. we have much of a right to our terms as any other wlw and its ahistorical to say we don’t. also life is short if calling yourself a dyke connects you to your love of women nobody can tell you otherwise.