#i will say though that it sucks to feel like a ??fraud??

[fangparade]

honestly i rarely refer to myself as lesbian anymore but also i dont refer to myself as anything because well! going off of lived experience i um dont have any. and going off of, idk, like, who i picture myself sharing a life with in the future i dont really do that either! so really who's to say. also it doesnt matter, life is fucking short

[newdog14]

I want to talk to everyone who's still saying "I know Biden is bad, but Trump is worse, so just vote Blue."

I know that American Politics sucks right now. Everyone is a bad option and every year our options get worse. I get it, and it sucks, but here's the thing: If we keep saying "Vote Blue no matter what!" then the Democratic party is never going to get better. In fact, it'll probably get worse, because if ignoring the voices of their voter base doesn't lose them votes, then why bother listening?

If you want things to get better, if you want politicians that you can vote for without feeling like you've betrayed your ethics, then we need to show that we WILL stop voting for people who we don't agree with. We need to show that the American people have heard Biden's Administration say "There are no red lines for Israel" and we do not agree.

Politicians only care about us for our votes. If supporting genocides demonstrably loses votes, then politicians will take note and change their policies in accordance. But if we vote Biden no matter what, if we vote Blue no matter what, then they aren't going to listen to us when we call and protest and scream.

Now, some of you may be thinking, what about Trump?

There is a chance he won't be able to run after all; he's currently in a legal shit storm that got his ability to do business in New York revoked. And with many of his co-defendants and associates pleading guilty things aren't looking good for him. Even if he can dodge the numerous felony fraud charges he's been hit with, this is going to be an expensive, embarrassing, dragged out process that will severely limit his time and funds for campaigning.

That doesn't mean he won't find his way onto the ballot anyway, but he hasn't won the Republican nomination yet. Even if he does though, sticking by Biden doesn't mean you're putting someone better in the White House. Given the ever climbing death toll that Biden is not just ignoring but enabling, it’s getting increasingly difficult, at least for me, to believe that Trump is actually worse. They’re both bad, and they’re both hurting people, so instead let’s look at why so many are clinging to the democratic party, even in the face of a genocide.

I know the biggest reason so many folks are hesitating to cut support for Biden is that they're worried about what that means for those of us in the United States.

Who will stop the anti-trans bathroom bills that keep popping up? Who will keep abortion bans off the books? Who will prevent censorship in schools?

Well, in point of fact, not your president!

Think about it. Did Biden being president put a stop to Florida's "don't say gay" bill? No. He had zero impact there.

Is he what stands between Virginia and the Abortion Ban currently being proposed for the state? Also no. He's not involved at all.

Has Biden stopped the bans on Drag Shows so many states are trying to implement? No, the Federal Courts have been doing that, including judges who were appointed by Trump.

See, the President of the United States is all about the big picture. Their opinions matter, and they can set a tone for their party, but they don’t control everything. Their impacts on the governing of states come from the people they appoint, like judges, but even then, most people will still do their jobs over pleasing the person who got them that job. Especially so because federal judges are actually really difficult to remove, and that only really happens if they’re so bad at following the rules that congress gets rid of them.

I’m not sure if Biden can’t stop states from making laws or if he just wouldn’t, but either way he’s not protecting us. 

The President honestly can’t do a hell of a lot to the American people, especially not in just four years. That’s why we survived Trump’s first presidency, and it’s why we as a whole would survive it if he got a second term.

The place where a President’s influence is immediately and drastically felt, however, is in the international sphere. The American people are protected, the citizens of the world are not, and with that fun little “well we’re not declaring war” workaround, the President, aka the Commander in Chief of the US Military, can do a hell of a lot of damage.

The people of Palestine may not survive another four years of Biden’s presidency. If things carry on like they are, they may not survive the remaining one year of his term.

So we the American people need to show that we will not stand by a president that endorses genocide. We need to show that we will not stand by a party that endorses genocide. We need to start talking, and loudly, about how we will not be voting for Biden next year. We need it to be clear that it is specifically his foreign policy that has lost his support, and that we will not be willing to just switch him out for a newer model who reminds me of no one so much as a modern day Aaron Burr.

There are a lot of things that we can do to express our displeasure for Biden, and for Israel, and there are a lot of people who can help you call for change, plan boycotts, organize marches, and determine where to aim direct action to have the greatest impact. But all of that needs to be done while putting our votes where our voices are, or else all of that rage will burn out and nothing will really change, just like it has in the Black Lives Matter movement.

In this case, as we do not currently have a better option, the place to put our presidential votes is with no one.

It’s not an ideal solution, I know. After all the years we’ve spent saying, “Vote! Vote no matter what! Vote or else you can’t complain about what happens!”, not voting feels like one of the most counterproductive moves to make. The reason we have to do it though, is because voting in the same sort of people and hoping they’ll make things better isn’t working, and we’re never going to get new options if we keep supporting the old ones. Cutting support for Biden, for Democrats on the national level, without a viable alternative isn't an easy choice to make. It's scary and I admit that it's kind of a gamble. No one has ever tried it before, not the way I'm hoping you all will.

Have you ever heard the phrase, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it?” It’s time for us to break. No more unconditional blue votes. 

We have to force the Democratic party to recognize that their voting base will not just mindlessly support them, and that the candidates they put forth will be expected to hold up a certain moral standard. Our democracy is skewed to favor the opinions of corporations and the mega rich, but politicians do still need the masses to vote them into office, just like companies need us to buy things so that they can make money in the first place, and voting margins are tight enough that just like in the Speaker of the House vote, it won’t actually take that many of us to throw a wrench in the party’s bottom line.

We might not be able to win, but we can make sure that they lose until they shape up and start making meaningful changes.

And you may be thinking, won’t that just leave us in the hands of Republicans?

I want you to scroll back up. Look at all the bills I brought up that Biden didn’t stop. We are already in Republican hands, and the majority of Democrats are not willing to actually stand up to them.

That said, not voting across the board isn’t what I’m asking you to do. 

Our choices for President may be shot to hell, but there will be other people on that ballot in 2024. Local people, who will very directly affect your hometown and not much outside of it. Vote for your local sheriff, for your school board members, for your mayor and your state delegates. 

These are the people who control whether or not your senator can pass a drag show ban. These are the people who enable or block bills that hurt LGBTQ+ students. These are the folks who vote on whether or not to pass abortion bans. And in local elections? Your vote really, truly counts in a way that it just can’t on a national level.

And it’s not just people who wind up on your ballots. Local initiatives for conservation, funding for infrastructure, redistricting drives, and changes to your state’s constitution appear on your ballots too, and those are things that you’re going to want to have a say in.

There’s more to this mess than just voting or not voting, of course. There is always going to be more than one step we have to take to force change. That's why we cannot and do not vote inside a vacuum. We still have to make calls, and go to protests, and put our money where our morals are. Change isn't easy, and when you're fighting a decades old machine it's not quick either. But the longer we drag our feet about pushing back, the longer we keep betting on the lesser evil to change, the worse our options will get.

It might feel hopeless right now. Like our voices don't matter, and that we're screaming our lungs out alone. We can't give up though. We can't give into despair, and we can’t let up the pressure before new voices step forward, even if it takes time, and even if it takes more effort then checking a box or sharing a post.

One step will never be enough on its own, but every step we take adds up, and when we take those steps together we magnify our voices into something that cannot be ignored.

This is how we force our politicians to change: consequences and losses. If we start up early enough we might even get better options who could actually win the presidency, but we can't balk if we don't.

I know you might be scared to lose this election. As I write this, it feels counterintuitive, and it's something I never could have imagined saying years ago. But we can't change our political options unless we force politicians to change, and that only happens if they can't get elected as they are.

So don't elect them, and make sure they know that you're doing it on purpose and for a reason.

[complex-pdf]

Common Sense | Nanno x Plus Size Reader

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request: “Hellooo, can I request a scenario of nanno x reader where the reader just questions everything and doesn't immediately retort to dumb decisions like most of the characters in the show 💀 and nanno is thankful to have met SOMEONE with some sense Imao”

a/n: when I be watching this show I be like “damn that was evil Nanno…that’s what they get lmao” 🗿 and I didn’t know if I should base this off of an episode or not so I did anyways

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‘This school’s system is trash…’ You thought as you walked about your school. You went to Lerdvithi School, a school that focuses on talented kids and make anyone else that isn’t a “genius” feel lesser than. You thought it was disgusting and will only lead to trouble especially when you see people get jealous at the “geniuses” all the time. Like this girl in your class looked so jealous after her friend one that writing award and became a genius. Now all of the sudden she’s one too. ‘What’s her name? Ugh I’m so bad at reme-‘ “Hey!” Suddenly a voice ruined your train of thought.

You turned around to see Nanno. “Hm? Oh, hey Nanno.” She was one of your favorite non-friends that you were cool with. “(Y/n) have you seen how quickly Mew became a genius? Pretty cool right?” Nanno asked as she speed up to match your speed. “Eh…I guess so. It’s kinda suspicious that she did it so quickly though.” “Someone’s jealous~” Nanno chuckled which made your cheeks heat up a bit. “Yea right. I’m not a suck up to the school’s ways like you or Mew. Besides that shit sounds stressful.”

You turn your head to look at Nanno and see she was just starring at you with a bright smile plastered on her pretty face. You stopped in your tracks and raise your eyebrow. “What?” “You know~ I know how she did it~” She said in a singing tone as you shake your head in disbelief. “Please, I don’t wanna get roped into dra-“ “She stole artwork online, splattered that stupid red paint on it, and called it hers.”

What Nanno told you made you angry…for some reason. ‘Why would anyone do that?!” You weren’t an angry person, but you just felt like you blew a fuse out of no where. You felt your face contort as your fists ball up. ‘Art is personal! Why would Mew steal! To get a stupid lunch? To get fame? To feel smarter than everyone else? She’s a fraud!’ You close your eyes as you got more frustrated with every thought. “(Y/n)~ You can bring her down by, I don’t know, be better at her own game?” You heard Nanno say, as if she said it in your mind.

You took three deep breaths. In and out, in and out, in and out. You felt relaxed already, like the anger never existed. You looked at Nanno and told her, “No. You know why? Because she’ll get her karma anyways. Why would I become a fraud to better one?” You gave your acquaintance a small smile, “Some times, though this is my only time getting your advice, you don’t have the best things to say.” You started to walk away from Nanno as to get to class before everyone came into the hallways to get to their classes.

“(Y/n).” Nanno’s voice made you turn quickly as she was right in front of you. Kind of too close. “You know…”, Nanno started to caress your left cheek, “You’re pretty smart. You think before you take action. Some might say it’s…common sense~” You saw Nanno smirk as you, and she, felt your face heat up tremendously. “W-Well…I…I guess a lot of people don’t have that nowadays…” You stuttered out nervously. “I’ve seen a lot of people without common sense, you have no idea…And you know, you look cute. Cuddly and bouncy even. Stay that way for me.” Nanno told (Y/n) with a smile. She walked away humming like she never said anything to you. While you just stood there flustered.

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[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Tuesday wonderful Fandom :) Already 5 eps into s4. Insane. Thank you to everyone who liked, commented and reblogged my answer of my top eps meant a lot. 😊 Solid moments in this one just not a ton. This is a Lucy centric ep with one of my all time Lucy moments in it. I’ll let you read so you can find out what that is ha Off we go.

4x05 A.C.H

I love any and all scenes we get with Tamara and Lucy. She’s such a mom to her I can not. They’re sisters but also a massive mom/daughter dynamic in there too. Lucy is making a morning smoothie and asking for blueberries. Tamara checks the fridge finding none. Lucy getting all mom-like on her. Saying she needs to put stuff on the list when she finishes it. Tamara swearing she didn’t eat them.

Lucy doesn't believe her but lets it go. Pick your battles and all that. She gets all excited about dressing up for the West Hollywood parade. Trying to get Tamara excited about it too. Lucy in such a mom mode here. I love it. Tamara is sassy by saying her suggestions suck LOL Their dynamic is so cute I love it so much though.

They get a knock on their door interrupting their convo. It’s one of their neighbors asking if Lucy is a cop? Lucy confirms this and asks what's going on? She continues on and says she lives in 604 across from the lady she’s coming to her about. Apparently ghost hunters are trying to commit elder fraud with her neighbor. Charging her outrageous prices. Lucy handles it like the confident BAMF she is. Directing everyone involved on what to do. Gah I love that we’ve reached this stage with her. I enjoy the growth journey don’t get me wrong, but I also truly enjoy the results too. So nice to see her settled and confident. Handles this rowdy group like a pro. I'm so proud of her.

We join everyone in roll call. A.C.H. Is written on the board. Grey is handing out candy for right answers. He asks Nolan what today is and what that acronym means? He says Halloween and doesn’t know the other half. Still expecting candy... such a putz. Harper replies correctly with ‘Anything Can Happen.’ Lucy asks what kind of crazy stuff might happen? Tim starts running down a list of things. Teenagers trying to steal kids candy, masked people running into liquor stores. Discerning if they’re late for a party or have a gun?

Grey is waiting for Tim to list one more thing. He is pre-smirking and Tim is confused af. Wade elaborates asking Tim how his uniform was torn 3 Halloween’s ago? Lucy looking perplexed as well. Poor Tim looks like he’s reliving something so uncomfortable. Like he’s seen things he shouldn’t have with that LOL

That dead behind the eyes look. Poor love. Lucy’s reaction is the best part. You know she’s enjoying his embarrassment for this. Delighting in it really. For that party it was a fair assumption i’m sure haha I mean look at the man. He’s beautiful and when they got to the yummy muscles underneath i'm sure didn’t help his case. Heh

First off I love this cute moment of them handing out candy together to kiddos. Could they be any cuter doing this? Also you know I love the Tall/Smol shots. Look at the smiles and closeness. My heart. I can just imagine them handing out Halloween candy together now. Most likely at Tim’s house. Since he lives in a neighborhood and being this damn cute about it. Handing out candy and dressing up while doing it. *sigh* A girl can dream eh?

Earlier in the ep before roll call Lucy got a phone call. She found out her mother has paid for her to freeze her eggs….Naturally this is upsetting to Lucy. How could It not be? Minute the kids step away Lucy goes off about it. Tim clearly not excited about this talk LOL I’m dying his reaction is too funny. Lucy is so valid in what she’s feeling though. It’s a pot shot at her. At her insecurities. Straight from her mom.

The way her mother treats her I can totally understand why she feels this way. How it looks is exactly what Lucy is venting about. Makes it seem like her mom is giving her a fail safe in case she never finds someone. Which is so damn rude but in line with her mom as person. Tim is trying to do logic instead of empathy. Thinking it’ll help her but it does not....He is looking at it with analytical eyes instead of empathetic ones. He is playing devil's advocate on this one. Telling Lucy her mom is probably just looking out for her. Knowing how busy she is. When he really shouldn't because it's her mom...

Lucy is so offended by his POV on this. Hating him trying to justify her mother's motives. I think if this was anyone else Lucy might've considered this. But its not...it's her mom who she has a very strained relationship with. Basically trying to plan her life for her. Control some aspect of it since she has no say in Lucy's career. Also let’s also note her touching his arm while berating him LOL. No need for that madam... but she is a moth to the flame in touching him. hehe Can't say I blame her. The sassy banter here is on point as usual though. Her face after Tim says he’s not taking her side. I’m rolling. They could not be more married if they tried.

Tim starts comparing her situation to car insurance and her clock ticking. Oh Timothy no...what are you doing my love? He is so damn insightful with her most of the time. Then is such a man in certain moments like this one. Telling her doing this appointment is just insurance. That you don't get car insurance hoping you get into an accident. The policy is just a waste of money.

That she needs to view this the same way. Might as well have her mom pay for it. Lucy does not let him get away with that though. Saying she's going to pretend he didn't just compare her fertility to a car crash LMAO Seriously the marriage vibes with this scene are off the charts. Their ‘fighting’ always bringing me such joy.

The cuteness continues when a mom comes up asking them to help find her daughter. Her daughter was dressed as Stitch. They both point (in-sync btw) at the table where a kid is wearing that costume. They realize this kid's not her daughter. That the parent must’ve taken her daughter and left his kid. This next part is ovary explosion time for me. *fans self*

Tim coming over all soft asking this kid questions. He’s in dad mode and I’m melting. Look at how soft he is above. Naturally good with kiddos. Despite his wonderful demeanor the kid has no clue how to answer any of Tim questions.... It’s so funny. His answers are so matter of fact. Daddy. Duh. Ha

I love them tag teaming to get this kid to talk. Lucy telling Tim she's got this. (Not really but she sure tries haha) I adore him just letting her step right in. Taking her shot at it. This is a look into them as parents and my heart wants to implode ha How they would talk to their kid. Lucy takes a slightly different approach at it. She fails just as miserably as Tim. It's so funny how they both crash and burn in their tactic's. They could not be any cuter in this scene if they tried.

This is my favorite part of the episode right here. More proof of how far we’ve come with them. This entire scene is a beautiful result of the last 3 seasons. They’re able to locate the missing girl and return Alton home. The guy didn’t even realize he picked up the wrong kid… Lucy stating once they’re back in the shop ‘That poor kid. Imagine having that idiot as a father.’ Tim notes there are a lot worse out there... trust me.

Like a foreshadow to 4x09 and all we learn about his father. Tim knows first hand how much worse a father can be. Hurts my heart for him to think he wouldn’t be a good father. Just because his own was awful coupled with his damaged past. If anything it’ll make him an even better one. Someone who would want to break the toxic cycle of what he grew up with. You can tell Lucy wanted to fight him on the dad comment. That she wants to reassure him he would be a wonderful parent.

She is respectful and doesn’t press the issue. Personal stuff while it’s more common for them now she knows when to press and when not to. This is one she doesn’t push on. Let's Tim just speak his piece on it. What is absolutely wonderful is her follow up question to that. Lucy keeps them in the personal life zone with it. The best part of it is Tim’s answer. He takes a beat and looks at her first before he dives in. He's intensely thinking before presenting his reply.

Look at our boy just being so openly vulnerable and answering her. Very honestly too btw. No push back or him shutting down. Just an honest and vulnerable answer. How far we’ve come I could cry. The amount of trust he has with her. To be this open and vulnerable about Isabel of all people and what their plans were once upon a time. My heart.

Tim spills his guts about where he thought his life would be now. He thought he would have kids already. He and Isabel had all these life plans. 3 kids, watch them grow up and everything that comes with that. Sharing with her what he thought his life would be by now. Willingly just talking about these things with Lucy. It's insane how natural this whole convo is. Lucy absorbing it all as he speaks.

Tim ends it on a sad note of ‘But…’ Lucy finishes it for him. Saying things don’t always work out. Lucy then connects the dots as to why he was playing devils advocate earlier with her appt. She says as such to him. That life doesn't always pan out the way you expect it to. This would be a way to protect against that. It's what he was trying to convey earlier just poorly ha. Difference being this time he was genuine and empathetic. So it gets through better like it always does when he's soft with her. Will say it breaks my heart Tim telling Lucy about his family plans that never happened. Like it's a distant dream he'll never achieve now. The beautiful thing to take away from this is he told her freely. Used it as advice even to bring home his point.

Tim didn’t hesitate to open up when she asked him. Saw it as an opportunity to give her advise on her problem. The growth in this man is incredible. I'm in awe of him. Remember in S1 when personal life was a dirty word? How he instantly would clam up and shut her down immediately? Now we're here. With them talking about wildly personal stuff in the shop. The progress is wonderful. Makes me teary thinking how far they’ve come. How far Tim has come because of that wonderful sunshine woman in his life. How closed off he used to be. Now they’re casually talking about their personal lives. Not only that but Tim sharing his past life goals with Isabel.

They’re making me all emotional lol God I love this ship. Their slow burn is so worth every bit of waiting. Because they got to develop as people and grow. Be the best versions of themselves when they did get together. This scene is a wonder to behold. To see them get to this place from where they started. *heart clutch* S4 is this beautiful payoff of the bond they’ve forged. How they’ve both grown. Hell Lucy driving is driving and it’s not a thing. Just natural. Their progression makes my soul happy and even happier that I get to write about it. This is their last scene together but it's a damn fine note to end on.

Angela comes over to update Lucy and Tamara on the ghost hunter situation. Tells them the creepy history attached to the building. Tamara is sufficiently freaked out. Says they should move haha Lucy tells her ghost's aren't real. Lucy is more worried about the hunters coming back to bother her neighbor. Angela says 99 percent of the time when a close friend or nice neighbor i.e. Lucy report it they go away and don't return.

Lucy then makes a statement that has me wanting to hug her. Saying she hopes she has a caring neighbor like herself when she’s old and alone. (Just wait Lucy we're almost there...sorta ha) Angela asks her if she’s having bad dating week? Lucy laughs tells her no. Then explains what her mother did. Angela tells her to go for it since it costs so much and she doesn't have to pay for it.

Lucy’s line above is everything. I do not blame her. Just be one more thing to hold over Lucy’s head. I know that life well… To Lucy it's just more guilt to have poured on. Something her mother can use against her later on. Better to limit her to the ammo she currently has. Tamara is sweet and says she can adopt if nothing else. Lots of kids who need a home. She’s not wrong. Also her mom must be out of her damn mind if she think's she can be apart of her kids life. She would have to do a complete 180 in how she treats her before that happens.

Lucy and Tamara decide to get ready for the parade. Lucy thanks her for coming with. She comments how cold her bathroom always is. Tamara cracks a joke about it being cause 20 people died in their building LOL Lucy accidentally knocks over some makeup and watches the dust get sucked in behind the mirror. As if there is a draft. They pull it off together and it reveals a giant hole in the wall leading to all sorts of nooks and cranies.

Tamara refuses to let Lucy climb into this creepy hole by herself. I just love their back and forth so much haha Lucy lets her come with. Leads to this creepy hallway where someone has been staying. They find the blueberries Lucy was looking for earlier. It's on this creeps make-shift bed. It’s so eerie. The ‘ghost’ that’s been living in their walls has been eating their food. Entering everyone's apt's at his convenience.

That’s so unnerving tbh. Just coming into their apt whenever for food through the hole. Lucy calls Angela and says it’s not a ghost. Someone has been living in their walls. Tamara walks over and sees a collection of women’s jewelry and bras. Saying she’s getting stalker vibes. They see mail down there too. It’s for the girl that reported the ghost hunters this morning. Margaret in 604.

Lucy hears creaking and wants to investigate it. Angela says she’ll call It in for them. The more they delve into this area the creepier it gets. They find his peep holes too. It’s then in the holes they see Margaret doing laundry alone. The creepy dude comes out of the shadows after her. Lucy calls for her but she doesn't hear her.

Then comes one of my favorite Lucy moments. She finds a weak spot in the wall and goes after the creeper. She handles herself like an absolute bad ass. What a fight sequence with just a broom stick. Tim would be so proud. It’s so impressive to watch her take this guy down. One of the best parts is Tamara gets to see the whole thing. Cheers her on and jumps up and down with Lucy dispatches him. It’s amazing.

We catch them the next morning Lucy in mom mode once again. Default setting with Tamara is you ask me. She is asking her if she slept at all? If she wasn’t feeling safe they could go to a hotel. Then Tamara gives her the best compliment she could. She is a certified bad ass. I would feel safe with her too. I love Tamara getting to see Lucy in action. Seeing what a strong bad ass woman looks like. And it’s her.

They get a knock on the door and it's Angela to update them on the wall guy. This next portion is pretty sweet and funny. Let's them know if they hear anything just the scene being processed. Angela then asks what Lucy wants to do about her appointment? She says she’s going to do at least the consultation. (I think this is partially Tim's influence from their earlier convo in the shop.)

Angela goes off on a rant about how babies don’t sleep for more than 3 hours, can’t tell if they’re smiling or have gas, and they pee on you when you change them. It's true my nephew had a Pee-Pee TeePee LOL But to not to let that dissuade her from motherhood ahhaa. Tamara pulls her leg some and it’s so funny how easily she riles Lucy up. Mom/Daughter vibes in this scene and I love it. Angela gets serious saying Jack best thing ever happened to her. Wishes Lucy the same whenever she’s ready. She will be when it’s her kid with Tim ❤️ I love this season so much. Such goodies almost every single ep.

~~~

Side notes non-Chenford

Did enjoy Pete coming back. Him helping Tim And Nolan with their drug bust of the zombie drug. Also never hate seeing Tim in civvies mmm. That tight sweater and jeans. Glad I had the room for this gif above. To see him in said sexy outfit. Watching him in action and that outfit? Have mercy.

Thank you to those who continually like, comment and reblog these reviews. Makes my heart so happy. I shall see you all in 4x06 :)

[aromantic-diaries]

I've been feeling like a bit of a fraud lately regarding my aromaticness.

I'm aroflux and have been beating myself up about not being aro enough, which sucks I know but it gets better.

I was talking to my friend today and we fell upon the topic of a guy who asked me out last year sometime. He's poly, and my friend was saying how they wouldn't date him if he had multiple partners (not in an anti-poly way, just knows her ideal relationship). She asked me, and I said I wouldn't care, heck, I would be enthusiastic and overjoyed by it!

We talked about why that was, and I realised that in my past relationships, I've felt so much pressure to constantly be romantic (these relationships were before I released I was aroflux). I realised that was so hard because I'm not romantic all the time and would prefer if a romantic partner would not focus all of their romantic attention on me, and could be platonic as well as romantic. the realisation of this really affirmed me, and I still feel sooo happy about this hours later:3

Anyway, I just wanted to share that even though you might be facing some internalised aphobia, you are valid. And even if the world doesn't validate you, your life will in some way <3

We exist, we are valid, we are fulfilled without traditional relationships

I think it's really cool to find the type of relationship that suits you, even if it doesn't fall into the category of an exclusive monogamous and 100% romantic partnership. Everyone has the right to be happy even in ways that might be unconventional. I'm happy for you for figuring that out!

[anhed-nia]

PS I almost saw IN A VIOLENT NATURE for the first time at an open air screening on Governor's Island, a popular NYC destination for outdoor entertainment and close-to-home glamping. I thought that was a great idea, but ultimately I skipped it because I wanted to see the film for the first time without the light pollution and ambient noise. They made this cool graphic for it, though...which immediately triggered comments section controversy about AI.

The social media person replied that the image was not AI-generated; though the "scene" does not take place in the movie, it is a photograph of a person wearing the screen costume, just doing something fun on Governor's Island to advertise their cool event. No matter what your general feelings are about AI in commercial art, we can probably all agree that it sucks that we have to have these onerous arguments about everything now.

For me, and I think for anyone who enjoys visual art, the medium matters--not because of some imaginary hierarchy of importance, but because different media have different effects, traditions, and implications. And because, with respect to AI, the statement "This really happened!" and the question "Wouldn't it be cool IF this really happened?" inspire very different responses. My personal, casual feeling is that AI art is OK as long as it is easily identifiable as such; like I've seen some really fun AI images whose particular kind of outrageousness makes appropriate use of that specific medium. I'm a "right tool, right job" person, I think some things should be paintings and some things should be photos, some things should be stage plays and some things should be movies. You should carefully choose your medium and exploit the unique qualities of that medium based on exactly what you're trying to accomplish. For this reason I think that AI images that are just trying to fake the effects of i.e. painting or photography kind of suck. And related to that I object to living in a world where we all just have to throw up our hands and say "Oh well, there's no way to know anymore whether something is physically-real or whether it's just a hypothetical representation of something that maybe-could-be real, I guess the only thing we can do is not give a shit about where anything comes from or how it got here and what that all means." For me, "There's no way to ever know anything for sure so who fucking cares" is not an acceptable default setting. (And I realize this is becoming the central issue of our day due to all kinds internet-enabled misinformation and I'm treading on the hem of a way bigger topic here, but never mind all that now...)

But still, I find myself just as annoyed with fakery as I am with people who instantly declare something to be fake. Frankly I think those guys are just scared of being fooled and so they're trying to preserve their own sense of superiority by declaring everything to be fake before they have any evidence one way or the other. This is a very different thing in its consequences, I know, but some of these guys sound just like the bigots who go around trying to clock random strangers as trans; they always have these ridiculous lists of "evidence" that turn out to be just as applicable to afab and amab people as they are to people who have transitioned. It's all roughly the same flavor of defensiveness from people who are scared of being tricked into believing or feeling something that will turn out to be a fraud. And I can sympathize with that to some degree, I don't wanna be tricked into believing in, for instance, awesome-looking photo shoots that never happened; like if you said it wouldn't matter to you if the photos Thierry Mugler shot on top of the Chrysler Building turned out to be digital fakes, then I would happily call you a liar. But what I really hate more than anything right now is this immediate effect where as soon as anything cool-looking appears online, we all have to have these contentious arguments where insecure jerks pound their chests about how un-foolable they are...and sometimes it turns out that the "AI art" is real and so their claims to amazing powers of perception are a big embarrassment. I guess my conclusion is that if everyone agreed to make AI imagery clearly identifiable in some way, then we could all stop having our good time spoiled by this paranoid bickering that has become the prerequisite for enjoying anything. But that's probably an impossible dream.

[qqueenofhades]

I hate to rain on today’s much needed joy parade, but do you think the USA is headed for civil war in the near future? It’s increasingly feeling like 2024 is going to be a make or break year and with division at an all time high it feels like there’s going to be complete chaos in the streets even if we avoid crisis at the polls. Like, even though I’m in a “safe state” (for now) I’m seriously considering strategies of fleeing the country, just in case. Don’t know what I’m asking for, help? Reassurance maybe? Advice?

I think my answer to that is... yes but also no, and no but also yes, and yes but also no. Which I realize is not entirely helpful and not as clear as anyone would like, but let me try to explain:

The far-right has always been militant, violent, and prone to apocalyptic and fascist rhetoric. This isn't a new thing in American history, and it's come to the fore at moments of particular stress and division. Trump's presidency obviously gave much-unwanted oxygen to them, right when people were starting to claim that Obama's election meant that America was in a "post-racial era" (LOL), but they themselves are not new. We had the Civil War itself, we had the lynchings and racial terror and Jim Crow/Ku Klux Klan era, we had the Bund (the American Nazis) holding huge public gatherings in the run-up to WWII and enjoying substantial domestic support, etc etc etc. This is all scary and unsettling, and most of us don't have a personal memory of dealing with it before, because we're not old enough. But that doesn't mean it hasn't happened before, and that we haven't survived it.

Let's take yesterday, for instance. Trump spent all week promising fire and death and vengeance and playing literal videos of January 6th at his campaign rally in Waco, Texas (famed as the site of the Waco Siege of 1994; look it up). He insisted his supporters would rain vengeance on anyone who dared to arrest him and otherwise threatened mass-scale disturbances and the other tools of public violence that fascists use to enforce their will. And what happened? It's 12+ hours since the first indictment went through (30 counts of business/document fraud, which is not a piddling charge) and we've had bupkis. We've had a lot of Republican politicians tweeting their performative hypocritical outrage, yes, but we haven't suddenly had the country explode in fire and flame either. I'm sure there have been localized protests, but I haven't heard about major anything. And one set of indictments has gone through, others will be empowered to follow. In a way, I think it's a good thing that non-political crimes went first? Yes, the Republicans are screaming about a political witch hunt because that's literally the only thing they can do, but starting by nabbing Trump for relatively low-level (but still extensive) business fraud and then moving onto the treason sets a pattern and makes it easier to comprehend.

The thing is: Nazis, at heart, are cowards. They like to paint themselves as bold and valiant soldiers fighting for the Right Way of Life, but it's all fantasy, delusion, and cosplay. They were empowered to do January 6th because Trump was literally the sitting president and told them to do it, but that's no longer the case, and they're shit scared of facing anyone who might enforce real consequences on them. (Once again, if you take nothing else from following me: Nazis are punk-ass fucking pissant cowards who think they're tough and are in fact a bunch of asshole morons, the end.) The mantra of "Make Racists Afraid Again" is working, to an extent. Yes, we have hellholes like Missouri, Florida, Texas, and Tennessee where the state GOP is working as hard as they can to enforce the worst and most regressive laws imaginable, but that's still not universal. As I also say a lot, the reason Republicans attack, discredit, and outlaw voting so much is because they can never win a fair election on the merits. Their ideas suck, and on some level they know that. They just care about being cruel, fascist, and stupid, and while that's certainly a troubling and significant minority in America, it's not as big as anyone thinks.

Almost 60% of Americans think both that "woke" is a good thing and the cases against Trump should permanently disqualify him from holding any office again. Yet again: the GOP is in the minority, and that's why they use so many dirty tricks to establish and enforce their power. Also, I can guarantee you that not one of the keyboard warriors fulminating about how The Democrat Party Is Being So Mean To President Trump is ever going to actually go out and start an actual civil war. They have established interests, money, benefits from the system, and they don't want to overturn that. They want the masses angry and stupid, yes, but they want them angry and stupid in support of keeping discriminatory structures and systems in place. That can't work if there are no systems at all. Yes, we will still have white supremacists and fascists committing ongoing individual acts of violence, i.e. school shootings, and it's hard to argue that this doesn't constitute a civil war of some sort, or at least ongoing stochastic terrorism. But while you have people like Marge Two Names Greene out there blabbing about a National Divorce, I can guarantee you that if it ever came to actually DOING it, Marge and Brave Brave Sir Kevin would be nowhere to be found. Again: they want to derive power and money from the operation of an unfair system, not the end of that system. It sucks, but still.

Honestly, I want the Dominion lawsuit to keep going on, and dragging all of Fox News' hypocrisy, deception, and disinformation into the public eye. Fox is the biggest cancer on this country, as is the case with Rupert Murdoch's global disinformation empire overall (when, WHEN will HE fucking die, if we're talking death lottery wishlists?) But the lawsuit and its subsequent publicity has had an effect: a small but significant number of Fox viewers (26%) realized the network was lying to them, and 13% said that they no longer believed the 2020 election was stolen after reading about the Fox efforts to lie about it and then cover up their lies. So while the right-wing media bubble is huge and terrible, it's also not impenetrable, and taking Fox down/substantially discrediting it would have a major effect on the pay-for-play misinformation media sphere.

This is getting long, so let me try to sum up: the far-right advocating separatist fantasies of violence/war/fascist domination is not new, and has been a thing in American history for as long as there has been America. But at least in the current moment, it is not the majority, it is not widely popular, it will never be embraced by ordinary mainstream Americans and not just the insane cultists, its so-called devoted soldiers yell on Twitter and cable news and will never once be spotted actually fighting for it, and it's the cynical last gasp of a hate movement that is seeing its institutional and generational hold on America (and the world) finally on the brink of permanently shifting. So of course it's trying to make itself look as big and scary as possible, like any wounded animal, but it's on the back foot, and we have a chance to really kill it. Not permanently or forever, since that's the nature of human history, but at least for now and buy us some more time, and despite everything, I remain cautiously optimistic about our likelihood of doing so. I know it's scary, I know it's awful, I know it feels overwhelming, but it is still not winning, and it won't. As long as we do our part.

Hugs. Hang in there.

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

vulnerable moment incoming:

one of the things they don’t tell you about being brave is that the person hardest to face and look in the eye and say, “no, what you’re saying about me is wrong and destructive and untrue”…is yourself.

that little voice that seems so big in the back of your head or in the most self-hating part of your soul saying that you’re fundamentally damaged as a person or not good enough or just really good at being a fraud or a failure because you can’t live up to those standards (where did they come from anyway?) or…

yeah. it sucks. big time. and i’m not sure it ever goes away.

taking on that part of me is HARD. but i’m trying, even though sometimes it feels like a losing battle.

i’m trying to take it on with love, with trust, with strength, with grace. and with all of you. thank you for your kindness and your words and your love. it really means a lot, even if that little voice keeps trying to poke around back there and invalidate it.

you’re here for me. i’m here for you. we are doing this together. and i’m immensely grateful for you all. i hope i’m able to show you love and grace and all the good things of this world the same way you do for me.

talk again soon, love y’all so much 🫶

-savannah

[imnotoverlyobsessive]

I saw your post about not liking Kylie Jenner and Timothee Chalamet not sticking to his principles. I wanted to discuss this with you because I feel we share similarities. But how as a fan do you work this out in your mind. I adore his acting and part of the reason why I became his fan was because of his principles and how he held himself, but this whole kylie-timothee thing is making it feel like he is a fraud. I want to think the best of him, but at the end of the day he is a celebrity and that intellectual side of him could just be a persona he put on.

IRL it is always easy to judge people based on who they date and surround themselves with. And I am conflicted because I adore Tim but can't help but feel judgy and feel my respect for him slowly disappearing. Thoughts...

Oh, anon, I wish I could give you a hug. I know exactly what you’re feeling, and I totally get it. Lemme explain.

So the first thing we have to remember is that he is not perfect. I’ve joked before that he’s a god, but he’s specifically a Greek god, and they make plenty of mistakes. In that same vein, I’ll point this out

Men make a lot of dumb choices. It’s kinda what they do. I don’t think they can help it, tbh. That’s not to say they shouldn’t be held accountable for their actions, of course, but I do think this specific situation is just Tim making a Dumb Man Decision™. I think he means what he says. I do think he’s being sincere. But I also think he doesn’t see the behaviors we know she has. He probably sees good in her that we know is inevitably overshadowed by how awful she is, but since she’s in front of him (and presumably hot in his eyes, though I will never understand why he finds her attractive. I know he’d never be into me, to be clear, but as someone who likes girls as well as guys, I just don’t understand the appeal of plastic women), he pays attention to what he sees and ignores the rest.

Also, he’s gonna make mistakes, y’know? We have to expect that he will. She is a mistake. I feel sorry for his future self, when he realizes she’s a mistake and regrets his decision to get involved with her.

I know it’s complicated for us as fans, and it’s upsetting that we can’t shake him and tell him how stupid he’s being. It sucks. I believe we need to cut him a little slack, because he’s not perfect and he will make mistakes, like I said. We need to give him space to do that.

I’d be happy to talk about this more via DM if you want. I know it’s upsetting, and it’s difficult to accept. I’m at a point now where when I see her or hear about her, I’m just kinda like 😒 and then I move on. I absolutely hope she’s treated with coldness by his family, and I hope he’s regularly informed by those around him that he’s being an idiot, but him putting his dick where ye shouldn’t? Yeah, it’s gross, she’s garbage, but men stick their dicks in garbage all the time. I’m sure she’s not the first shitty person he’s fucked, and she won’t be the last, either. So at this point, i guess I’m just at the stage where I know it’s not permanent, he’ll move on eventually. We just need to wait it out. Until then, I’m doing my best not to care. You’ll get to that point, too; just give yourself time.

I will leave you, anon, with a quote from my favorite book series: “We are more than the sum of our bad choices in partners.”

[punk-in-docs]

I’m a ho for the detective. You think you know how filthy he is oh but he still surprises you. When he gets in a mood, he needs to fuck you right then and there. Smashing the elevator stop button and pushing you up against the wall. He hopes someone is watching through the security camera so he smiles and winks for good measure as he props you up over his shoulders, knees on the floor, eating you out like your pussy is the very essence of life. You’re holding on to the bar for dear life, juices and spit running down your thighs and drip drip dripping to the floor. You think he’s done and are grateful he’s holding you up, but he smiles wickedly at you saying “no no Birdie, I’m not done eating”. His hands spread your ass open and his tongue is running all around and into your winking hole. New sensation. Nobody’s ever done this to you before. You’re gasping and screaming for mercy, it’s too much. He’s moaning and saying shit like “theeeere you go, yeah she loves it, look at you Birdie. Anyone ever stick their tongue in your tight little ass? No? Oh man.” He spits at his target. “This might be my favorite dessert, baby. Now stop squirming and be a good girl for me, yeah? Gonna see how loud I can make you scream.”

It takes the elevator another 47 minutes before it’s moving again.

💀

TMI? To admit I think I just came from reading this? TMI? Probably TMI the kitty is growling my kitty growled I am without shame. It flew around the room snarling to read this m

You’ve killed me nonny I am physically dead. Pls play sex pistols at my funeral.

Oh dear gosh- the things I would let this slutty man do to me.

‼️So NSFW thoughts here pls be aware ‼️

You just know this man is so unbridled. He’s running a mile a minute. He’s here, he’s gone, he’s back. He’s changed his mind ten times in a second. He switches things up like you wouldn’t believe.

He’d be halfway through pounding you missionary when he decides to handcuff you to the bed, and then he’s spanking and spitting in your pussy and eating your ass like he was born to do it. The man is a chaotic switch (and so so evil with it) “Take it, come on you can take my dick. Surely you can take my tongue.” With a stout smack to your ass that ripples your whole hip. His tongue sliding down from your pussy to your ass. He laps up everything spilling out you and shoves his tongue right the way deep in your pretty ass. “So fucking delicious baby. Bet no other guy has the balls to eat you like this did they? Fucking morons ignoring a tasty ass like this. I should bring them up on charges. Fuck.”

Out in public at the movies? It got him riled up? One of those hardcore horror slashers with teenage girls scream scream screaming all panicked, flashing their tiny perfect teardrop tits and lots of garish blood. It gets him hard. He can’t help it. Gets him adjusting and shifting. And then it only ends with him reaching over and slipping your sweet little hand into his pants. “Help me out here honey. Before I fucking burst my zipper. Yeah that’s it- oh, rub me like that. Yes. Shit.” With his head thrown back. Eyes glossy as he gazes gaping at you.

He’ll have you in the dirty bathroom stalls halfway though the movie - uncaring. Sucking and slurping down his cock so good it’s got him moaning incredibly loud, fisting your hair and facefucking, spouting filthy and he doesn’t care at all who hears. Hand on the back of your head. Cig stubbed in his lips. Watching the thick drool slobber out of yours and over your chin. That porny glug-glug sound that comes with his sliding balls deep and bulging your throat. “That mouth Birdie. Fuck me. Every part of you is fucking sweet as hell huh?”

His car isn’t off limits either. He’s driving you out to dinner. A posh dinner too. A place with valet parking. Cloth napkins and bathroom attendants and glitterati LA fame. You feel like a fraud but he tells you how edible you look in your black dress and red heels. You wear stockings which he glimpses a peek of as you get in the car. Lacy band on your thigh. You better believe he’ll have you slip your panties to your feet in his red as sin Porsche, and he’ll be telling you ordering you to “Make a pretty little puddle on this seat for me. Come on.” As he twists his wrist and finger fucks the absolute shit out of you. Swirling his fingers and open palm slapping your clit to make you scream. “Louder honey. C’mon. Gimme that pretty voice.”

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Have you never heard of such a thing, darling?

(The Timari Buzzfeed Unsolved AU)

Chapter 2: The Mysterious Case of Haly’s Circus

The video opens, as always, with Tim sitting on the couch, ramrod straight despite the apparent comfortableness of his cushions, smiling in a way that he knows will set people on edge.

People who have been watching Tim’s channel for a while are suddenly struck with the same feeling that new viewers endure when they open one of his videos for the first time. There is something wrong here, though they can’t quite put their finger on what, exactly, is off.

It is never quite scary. It is hard to be scared of a teenage boy. But it is certainly unsettling.

The reason becomes apparent soon enough: the couch is not pressed to the wall as much as it usually was.

Not that this was an easy thing to realize… until someone pops out of the gap for no reason outside of wanting to be dramatic, smiling widely at the audience.

“I’m back by popular demand!” Marinette says. She leans her arms on the back of the couch. “I’m not sure why I agreed. He doesn’t pay me. I’m being exploited.”

“I literally do pay you.”

“Riiiiight, of course you do,” she says, winking. “Don’t worry, GCPD people watching this, I am well taken care of. There is no fraud going on.”

“I don’t think I like this bit,” Tim mumbles.

“Sucks to suck! I do!”

He huffs. “Why did I invite you along again?”

“Because Alya said that I didn’t complete the bet and you’re lonely?”

“You know, at some point, I’m going to sue you for slander.”

“Public figures can’t really sue for slander!”

Tim’s eyebrows raised. “Is that true?”

“Yeah. It’s why tabloids get away with everything. Probably worth a google.”

He groans and rests his head in his hands. This does not entirely hide the faint smile on his face or the way his shoulders shake with barely restrained laughter. But it’s the effort that counts. Probably.

“Okay. Editor!Me, roll intro.”

The terrible dubstep intro is back, to everyone’s utter dismay. ‘The Gotham Files, with Tim Drake’ bounces around the screen once again, but it ends soon enough, thankfully.

Unfortunately, it is quickly replaced by another intro, complete with a different terrible dubstep song and set of strobe lights, proclaiming that ‘Marinette is also here!!!!!!!!!!’

People who listen closely can hear both of them giggling in the background.

Then, there is a hard cut to the two of them standing outside of what looks to be a run-down carnival. The sign above them declares the place to be Haly’s, but it has long since been graffitied over to say ‘Hell’s’ instead.

Marinette does not seem particularly happy about this change, gripping her new ‘company-provided’ flashlight (Tim gave her a spare he found lying around his house so she wouldn’t drain her phone battery) like it was a lifeline.

Tim pays it no mind, other than a murmur of how cliche it is. He smiles at the camera. “Now, since my intro was so rudely interrupted by Marinette –.”

“Popping out from behind the couch was your idea.”

“– I will explain everything now! We are at the site of Haly’s circus. Twelve years ago, tragedy struck during a seemingly routine circus act. A trapeze line snapped, and John and Mary Grayson fell to their deaths, right in front of their young son.”

There is a moment of silence for the two fallen.

Tim brightens up the moment sixty seconds have finished passing. “And, dear viewers, this particular case is a special one, because I was there when it happened!”

Marinette frowns just slightly.

Tim laughs and waves her off immediately. “I was three, I don’t remember any of it, don’t worry about it.”

She looks somewhat unconvinced, but glances at the camera and decides to drop it. Her concern is wiped from her face like it had never been there at all. She smiles and elbows him in the side. “I guess it’s… a plan to conquer trauma by adding another trauma on top of it. Men would rather visit a haunted theme park than go to therapy.”

He rolls his eyes. “I’m not adding more trauma on top of it, I’m not going to be traumatized. There’s nothing here that can traumatize me.”

“The ghosts are going to make it their mission to prove you wrong, you know.”

“Yeah yeah, my hubris will be my downfall, of this I am aware,” he intones. And then he goes back to addressing the camera. “Now, to this day, people suspect foul play, but police refuse to investigate. Perfect conditions for a possible ghost, don’t you think? So, as always, we are here to solve the mystery of whether the supernatural exists!”

“It does. Can we go home now?”

“Thank you for your investigative journalism,” he says sarcastically, but he slings his arm over her shoulder regardless, pulling her into his side. “Besides, you don’t have to worry. With all the stuff I’ve said to diss them over the years, ghosts – if they were real, which they aren’t – would go for me first.”

“Then could you please let go? I don’t want to be near you when that happens,” she teases.

He huffs a laugh and lifts his arm, allowing her plenty of time to get away. She remains close to his side.

He snickers and lets his arm fall right back into its seemingly perpetual spot around her shoulders. “It’s just an hour.” On cue, bright red numbers appear in the top right corner of the screen, a timer waiting for them to step over the threshold before it could start. “Then we can both leave, yeah?”

“Just an hour,” she mumbles disdainfully.

“Hey, I usually stay overnight. We can do that instead, if you want.”

The video cuts to show… someone, sitting at a desk, in the dark. Their silhouette is rather chunky, it is clear they are draped in one of the biggest, fluffiest blankets known to man. But they are not the focus. No, instead the camera zooms in, to look at the two different computer screens in front of the person. One of them is clearly editing software, and the other is on YouTube. Viewers can see that he is apparently listening to the ChipiChipiChapaChapa song on loop, and has been for at least three hours. Now, though, he finally opens a second tab. The keyboard clacks as they google ‘what time is the sunrise in Gotham’. The mouse circles the time stamp on the bottom of the screen, and the person mumbles under their breath. Apparently doing math, because they edit the timer to say 8:06:45.

The viewers are back to the actual video, where Marinette is laughing.

Tim does not join her.

Her laughter does not quite peter off, but it does gain a slightly nervous edge.

“That’s… a joke right?” she says. “You don’t actually stay in haunted places for hours every time, do you?”

“Well, no, but the only reason I don’t is that there is no such thing as a ‘haunted place’. I do hang out at attractions like this overnight, though.”

“Actually, an hour seems fine.”

The video pauses. Editor!Tim heaves a deep sigh and the clock changes back to its original one-hour-long countdown.

“Also, you’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever met,” Marinette huffs when time returns to normal. They finally step into the carnival together, and the timer starts ticking down. “At least try and pretend like you think ghosts could exist, to make things fair.”

“You think that this place has a house of mirrors somewhere?” he asks. “Because I would like to introduce you to the most stubborn person to exist.”

She huffs. She might have rolled her eyes, but she was too concerned with drinking in every detail of the world around them, searching for anything amiss.

There was a lot amiss about the place, to be fair to her. Old popcorn bags lay forgotten on the ground, abandoned in a rush and trampled under hundreds of feet, their previously bright colors muddied by the elements over the years. What had once been gleaming, colorful rides were now rusting. A family of opossums peers at them suspiciously from behind a couple of molding stuffed animals, their eyes gleaming hauntingly when their flashlights turn on them.

But nothing supernatural.

The longer they go without finding anything of note, the more Marinette relaxes.

She tugs at Tim’s backpack, and he gives her a mildly questioning look, but lets her open it and pull out a spray can of bright red paint.

“How –? When –?”

“A lady never reveals her secrets,” she says, smirking, tossing the can from hand to hand.

“Isn’t that saying supposed to be about – uh – demonitizable things?”

“Probably,” she shrugs. “Not my problem, though.”

“Uh. I think it is, actually,” he laughs. “You’re going to give the viewers the wrong idea about you.”

“Oh no. The supernatural-obsessed, parasocial people in your comment section are going to witch hunt me. Oh nooooooo.”

“You know, they’d probably be happy if they managed to kill you. More things for me to investigate – and with a personal element.”

“They’re just mad because they get no –.”

No one can guess what word is bleeped out here.

He groans, but he is still grinning widely. “Don’t insult my audience and their lack of... dates! You know how important my viewer retention rates are to me!”

She sticks her tongue out at him, slipping out from under his arm and walking over to the nearest contraption. It’s a gravitron, from the looks of things – one of those rides where they spin you around so quickly that you can stick to the walls.

Marinette tugs her shirt up to cover her mouth and nose (Tim quickly shifts the camera upwards at the sight of the barest sliver or midriff with mumbles of ‘demonetization’) and spray paints the words ‘Marinette and Tim were here’.

She looks at it for a moment, seemingly thinking hard, before adding a tiny heart next to their names.

Tim groans. “You’re going to make the shippers freak out.”

Her shirt falls away from her face when she tips her head back in a laugh, and she tosses the can into a nearby trash can. It thumps against something inside, but no pissed-off animals come seeking revenge, so they pay this no mind.

“You can always cut it out in editing.”

“Mmmm trueeeeee,” he says, humming thoughtfully. “But I’d prefer not to. Engagement, you know?”

She gives a little hum of her own before leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek.

His face flushes pink. “What was that for?”

“Engagement.”

He gasps and presses the back of his hand to his forehead, like a Victorian woman who is about to faint over a couch because she happened to catch sight of a collarbone. “Oh of course it’s for the views and not for me,” he pretends to pout.

She grins widely, opening her mouth to respond, but it seems that they are not allowed to enjoy themselves and have fun.

For, in that second, the carnival whirrs to life.

Lights, muted and strangely speckled due to the accumulation of years of grime, shine down on them. The speakers crackle to life, playing songs they hadn’t heard in years. The rides creak as their rusty gears are forced into motion once again.

If you, dear viewer, pay close enough attention, you can see the exact moment the light in their eyes dies.

It coincides pretty well with the lights in the park flicking on.

Hence why paying close attention is vitally important.

Needless to say, the kids are stressed. Probably because the abandoned amusement park does not seem all that abandoned anymore.

“Any chance we tripped a motion sensor somewhere?” Marinette asks.

Tim looks like he has accidentally swallowed a lemon. “Uh… I don’t think that they would still be working after this long…”

“Great! Great. That’s what I thought, too,” Marinette says, her voice squeaking in a way that suggests she does not, in fact, think it is great.

“But – but! There is always an explanation for supernatural phenomena,” Tim says, though he is eyeing the contraption warily. It is hard to tell who he is comforting – Marinette, or himself. Hopefully himself, seeing as he was utterly failing to calm down Marinette. “Noxious fumes causing hallucinations, confirmation bias, a trick done by living people for the sake of monetary gain (a la Scoobert Doo), the wind...”

“You know, at some point this loops around to being in denial,” Marinette mumbles, pressing so close to his side that it starts to look like she is trying to meld with him.

“Shut up,” is all he can manage in retort.

There is a loud bang nearby and the pair of teens scream. Their heads spin on a swivel, and the video is briefly impossible to watch without getting sick. By the time things stabilize, the teens have come up with a solution. Marinette points at the big top, the largest and most instantly recognizable building. It’s the only place that would provide proper cover.

Not that that would do that much good against a ghost, but you have to at least try to survive in situations like these.

“There! C’mon!”

Tim makes a vague sound of protest, but Marinette is already running, and he is dragged along for the ride.

Perhaps that is not the best phrasing, since a kiddie ride they pass screeches off the rails, and they only barely stop in time to avoid getting run over by a roller coaster car.

The ghost is hot on their heels.

Marinette and Tim hop the car, adrenaline fueling them, their feet thudding against the dirt.

Neon lights spark and shatter overhead, raining sparks and gas down upon them.

Marinette’s shirtsleeve catches, and Tim is quick to put it out for her, because she doesn’t even seem to notice, too focused on helping him into the circus tent.

It is as if they have walked into another world. A kinder one, without weird ghosts that are trying to kill them for intruding upon the place they had once died. It is blissfully dark, the only sound their own ragged breathing. After all the bright lights and loud sounds and near murder attempts, it is nice.

Electricity whirrs.

A spotlight blares down on them, briefly, a clear I know you’re here, before it slides away, down to its natural resting position in the middle of the tent.

Now, you may know I am here, too.

A man in a torn circus uniform sits in the spotlight, sobbing into his hands. A tarp lay stretched beneath the long-since broken trapeze, almost mockingly, as if the ghost is making a joke about how easily avoidable their deaths had been, if only they had used a net that night. The dust they had kicked up upon entering catches in the spotlight, making it look as if the air itself is reacting to the ghost, dancing with shimmering lights.

Marinette is physically shaking by this point, her nails digging into Tim’s arm hard enough to draw blood. Tim doesn’t look much better, either, his face an ashy gray color.

Red pools in the sand the ghost kneels in.

“... wait,” Tim breathes.

He moves as if to take a step forward, but Marinette is still holding onto him, and she clearly has no intentions of getting any closer to the ghost.

Tim meets her eyes.

“Trust me.”

She bites her lip, but when he moves again she allows herself to be pulled with him.

They make their way down the steps.

He moves to make his way over the railing and jump down into the sand pit, but the lights flicker and go out.

The hand Marinette has on him is the only thing that stops him from braining himself on the ground. He wouldn’t have died, probably, but it still would have been quite an embarrassing moment to have caught on camera.

When the lights turn back on, Tim sends her a grateful smile.

Marinette doesn’t return it. Her eyes are locked on where the ghost is.

Or, was.

She doesn’t seem much more relieved by the lack of it.

Tim jumps down and helps her come down after him. Slowly, they make their way over to where the ghost had been.

He crouches to squint at the pool of blood. Marinette gags and drags her shirt up to cover her mouth and nose again. Tim looks like he very much wants to do the same, but he has other things he needs to do, first. He rifles through his backpack, his eyes never leaving the ground.

“Tim…” she says, quietly. “We should go.”

He sends her a hesitant smile. “I want a sample of this.”

He pulls out a flashlight and points it out into the darkness provided by the tarp.

There stands the ghost.

Well, it isn’t a ghost. A ghost wouldn’t cringe away from a sudden bright light being shone into their eyes. Nor would it be wearing stage makeup.

The grimy-looking clothes check out, though. A+ for effort on that, that trapeze outfit definitely looks like someone died in it.

The man glances behind himself briefly, as if considering running, before his shoulders slump in clear defeat.

He groans. “What gave it away?”

Tim points at the blood on the ground. “It should be dry by now.”

“It’s –? I’m supposed to be a ghost? The blood being wet is not the most unbelievable part?”

There was a long beat of silence.

“Oh,” says Tim.

The man – Dick Grayson, the sole surviving member of the Flying Graysons – looks like he wants to scream. Which he does, but not in the traditional way: “Jay! Cass! Come out!”

Two people step out into the light, looking just as irritable about the whole situation.

They, too, are wearing ratty clothes.

Oh. Praise revoked. The clothes are not a Choice. They are simply poor.

Marinette groans and slumps into Tim, burying her face in his shoulder as if she can’t bear to see the world anymore. He loops his arm around her, dragging her ever closer.

“Ready to stop believing that ghosts are real, yet?” Tim teases softly.

She groans. Again. Louder. She beats her fist against his chest, but there is no real power or anger behind it.

And then she fixes the three homeless people with a tired look. “I understand why you’re doing this and all… like, the economy sucks, get that bag – or free housing, I guess… but…”

There is a long string of beeps as Marinette lets loose a frankly impressive number of swears. It’s doubly impressive when one remembers that she isn’t even speaking in her first language. Go her. Clearly, she took her English lessons very seriously.

When she finally feels better, she flashes a smile and sticks her hand out for the second guy to shake.

“Hi! I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

The guy looks confused, but he shakes it.

The video cuts abruptly. The three homeless people are waving them off as Tim and Marinette head back to his car. The viewers would never get to know exactly what was said that day, but it seems they're leaving each other on well-enough terms.

“Sucks that we went through all of that just to not be able to post any of it,” she sighs. “The GCPD would probably arrest them or something.”

“Nah, it’s fine. We can just cut around it and say it was a front for the mafia. The police hate the poor, but they won't mess with organized crime. Because a lot of them are in it.”

“Oh! Great!” she says. Her tone seems to be almost sarcastic. Almost, because why would it be? It is a great plan.

“I’ll keep the real footage on my Patreon, though. My journalistic credibility shall not be marred.” He winks at the camera. “Say hi to the Patreon viewers.”

While she does lift her hand in a vague wave, she does not seem particularly soothed by his words. Perhaps because his ‘journalistic integrity’ was not at all what she had been concerned about.

“Alright, now, we need to convince the nonpaying viewers that we are scared out of our minds because of mafia b.s., so put on your best concerned face.”

Marinette looks at him.

“Perfect! And we’re rolling again!” He turns to address the camera, all wide eyes and frantic hand movements. “Okay, so, it turns out this place is a mafia hideout. Who knew?”

Marinette’s lips begin to twitch into a slight smile at his antics. “Well, I’m going back to France in a few days, so this is not my problem.”

He gasps. “You’re going to leave me here to die?! After all we’ve been through?!”

“Yep.”

Tim looks devastated.

She giggles. “Fine, fine, I’ll stuff you in my backpack and you can come with me.”

He lights back up again instantly. “Ohmygod! We can have The Gotham Files: World Tour!”

“Mmmm, I only live in France,” Marinette points out, which certainly makes the ‘World Tour’ seem less than stellar all of a sudden.

Tim takes it in stride, though. “The Gotham Files: France Tour!”

She rolls her eyes, but her smile is nothing but fond. “Nice save.”

“I know. I’m kind of awesome.”

“And always right!” she adds, in the kind of tone that suggests they’ve joked like this before many times offscreen.

“And always right,” he agrees, nodding along, sage in his always right-ness.

“Except…” Marinette says, smirking. “You were almost convinced about the ghosts for a second there. I think that means that, somewhere, you know the supernatural exists.”

He doesn’t rise to the bait. He shrugs lazily. “I just think that, if ghosts were real and could affect our reality in any meaningful way, white people just wouldn’t exist anymore.”

It is quiet for a solid nine seconds.

Marinette has stopped walking. Tim slows, turns to look at her, mildly concerned.

“Mari –?”

“Fuck, maybe ghosts don’t exist.”

The video ends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 3

[rhmis-user-2020]

My experience as a Tangled the series / Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure fan.

Why hello there, it's a pleasure to meet you and welcome to my rant of myself. Today, I'll be talking about my experiences of being a TTS / RTA fan and why I've been wanting to express my opinions as such don't read if you don't feel like wanting to hear my pet peeves as one of the fans of the show and fandom.

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SO! What I've been doing more often is posting things relating to the fandom itself, I used to post 100% content of Varian. Due to first not knowing about the fandom at first and I've been a Varian fan or stan of the show, I used to act a bit exaggerated and weird but soon. As I learned about the fandom of RTA / TTS, I started to design characters from the show other than Varian. That's not saying that I'll not be posting Varian content, it's just that I admire Varian more like a friend than a crush. Hence why I sound neutral about Varian and not a hyper-loving fan of him. I continued to post content based on any character from the show, except those who are difficult to design in Gacha mods (Yes, I use Gacha mods even though I appreciate Gacha club) but all I'm saying is that I admire characters and not just Varian since even though Cassandra has done worst things, and even if Rapunzel denied and betrayed Cassandra and Varian. I wouldn't wanna blame Rapunzel, since I view myself as her. The one who betrays the trust and promise of either my friends or such, Rapunzel denied Varian's promise but for reasons. She must protect her kingdom from the blizzard, and her parents were in danger her boyfriend and friends went to go save them and there was a good chance they weren't coming back. Varian caught her at a bad time and what happened sucks, I slightly felt bad about Varian but I feel more about Rapunzel and non of it was her fault. I know I may sound like I hate Varian but no, I just view him pretty negatively I soon grew into him in season 3 once he reformed but even then I slightly forgive him and even if I post Varian content, I would write it in a neutral sense.

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Next was my boy, Eugene. I absolutely love him a whole lot in the series, he's one of my favourite characters besides Rapunzel of course. I would love to listen to more songs about him, it brings joy to my heart. He deserved more screen time in the series and a friendship with Lance as his partner in crime and Varian as a team awesome group with Lance and has a couple of romantic moments with Rapunzel, his soon-to-be wife.

And he is fucking hilarious and look at his face.

LOOK AT HIM, HE'S ONE OF THE CUTEST BOYFRIEND AND SOON-TO-BE HUSBAND OF RAPUNZEL AND I DON'T CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT THAT TOPIC.

And he doesn't get any love, come on.

And his dynamic with Lance is hilarous.

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Now, for Cassandra. Well, I am not mad at her at all even though the rest of the fandom is mad at her for her villain arc, she might've been a petty, manipulative, two-faced monster just like her mother and she may commit severe crimes like:

Malefic

High treason

Theft

Abuse of power

Psychological and emotional abuse

Usurpation

Mass destruction

Torture

Kidnapping

Attempted mass murder

Slander

Extortion

The drugging of a minor

Aiding and abetting

Brainwashing

Enslavement

Terrorism

Animal cruelty

Identity theft

Vandalism

Pollution

Fraud

Sabotage

Gaoling

Blackmail

Conspiracy

And I too thought that the king or queen would provide some sort of punishment for Cassandra but they set her free since one user of mine said "I think the reason why she didn’t get arrested and got help was because Rapunzel was in charge and not Fredric. Fredric was in charge of Varian’s arrest and that was handled terribly, while Rapunzel handled Cassandra’s. I do also think that Cass got some punishment off-screen, she’s not the type of character who would be ok with getting away with her crimes, but I just wish we saw that for justification."

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Lance is so fucking underrated this dude wasn't even talked about at all in the fandom and I wished that people to talk about him since I love Lance, he is the first black character and that's right, he is voiced by James Monroe Iglehart a African-American person. And him being the father (or adoptive father) of Kiera and Catalina is wholesome as hell, it's so cute to see him with children.

If any of you who are fans of Lance, I would love to hear your opinion on him.

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Now the underdog himself, Varian. While yes, Varian is voiced by none other than Jeremy Jordan. So it makes sense the fandom would show their love to these characters. He is a fan favourite of the bunch, as he is well-known in the fandom to be one of if not the most relatable and sympathetic villains like Cassandra and Eugene. He is the only one who has character development.

He might've done crimes like:

Kidnapping

Assault

Aiding and abetting

Attempted regicide

Terrorism

Usurpation

Mass brainwashing

Conspiracy

Sabotage

Animal cruelty

Vandalism

Theft

Treason

But the king actually cared about Varian and Rapunzel warned him by saying "Don't be too hard on him, Dad." and he valued her discussion, since he accepts his daughter a whole lot and even mentioned this. "I'll be sure to do everything I can to get him help."

And yes, I do prefer the king's concern over this.

This may come across as valuable but he placed Varian in an adult prison since either a) he messed with grown up stuff and committed crimes that may come across as one adult would do or b) he did so out of pureness to keep him safe only for him to be manipulated by adults.

Who knows.

Varian showed some remorse and shame for his past deeds and thought that he could never be forgiven, which was why he teamed up with Andrew and the Separatists of Saporia to erase everyone's memories so that he could have a fresh start and be friends with Rapunzel again. However, by Rapunzel's compassion and the Separatists' change of plan, Varian turned over a new leaf and helped the princess and her friends save Corona. His rekindled friendship with Rapunzel soon gave him back his dad and the forgiveness of Corona.

And he is admirable and funny. And he does have a trusted friend named Ruddiger which is the most cutest dynamic ever, like an owner and pet relationship.

Why do I analyze Varian way more than any character? WHY?

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And now Rapunzel, she is by far my second favourite character. And I especially loved her romance between her and Eugene as well as her friendship with Cassandra, both Eugene and Punzie might be the most cutest couple ever.

I wished they stayed like this.

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde

Act 6, page 5398

DAVE: whats up with the fish punk troll following kanaya around

ROSE: Seems she's passing through. Kanaya doesn't want her to cause trouble.

DAVE: cause trouble

DAVE: what the fuck could she even do here

DAVE: like kick over an old pile of garbage and cause the property value to fall even lower than jack shit

DAVE: i say let her go nuts

ROSE: Feel free to take it up with Kanaya.

ROSE: But if you authorize her to flip a bitch, just make sure she's nowhere near my chemistry table.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: cant be droppin your vials and shit all over the floor

DAVE: the only one whos got clearance to drop science is me

ROSE: Dork.

DAVE: dont even hate

DAVE: been shoring up my muthafuckin CRAFT over here

ROSE: I know. I've been in the same room, right over there, listening to you mumble lyrics to yourself for the last couple hours.

DAVE: rose you know what sucks

ROSE: Yes.

ROSE: To which sucky thing are you referring?

DAVE: it kinda just occurred to me

DAVE: while i was spitting ill verse to no end

DAVE: i got this weird feeling that i might be getting like

DAVE: a little dated?

ROSE: Is this about Terezi?

DAVE: what

DAVE: no no

DAVE: dont be disingenuous word girl you know what im saying

DAVE: i mean sorta passe

DAVE: like a lumbering pop reference dinosaur

DAVE: remember we are both kind of stuck in 2009

DAVE: so im like popculturally frozen in that period

DAVE: all my references feel like they might be getting a little stale

DAVE: even though the earth ended and all and there was no culture after that point anyway

DAVE: but still

DAVE: i can feel it

DAVE: like in my bones

DAVE: i just know on some hypothetical earth that kept going my shit is starting to get so lame

DAVE: and i know it doesnt matter because its just us here so who cares

DAVE: but i care

DAVE: its a matter of integrity i am a fucking artist

DAVE: like i think if i make one more rap about like some fucking dane cook movie from 2008 to piss karkat off or some tired bullshit like that im going to

DAVE: i dont know

DAVE: ill just start feeling like a fraud

DAVE: my game might be drying up rose

DAVE: but its not my fault like im totally hostage to this freezedried backlog of cultural garbage that can never move forward again

DAVE: so i have to pick through it like im looting a fucking tomb while still all tryin to act RAP SASSY

DAVE: like YEAH take THAT motherfuckers

DAVE: OF THE PAST

DAVE: all in your mass graves somewhere in a dead frogiverse

DAVE: i be representing some god damn STANDARDS about your media do you feel me

DAVE: im depressing myself here

DAVE: all im saying is it would be cool to have some fresh shit to work with

DAVE: like just to know

DAVE: to know what the world would be like in the year it would be for us now

DAVE: which would be 2011 i guess

DAVE: wow 2011 really

DAVE: damn

DAVE: i just want to know what would have happened

DAVE: theres so much shit we were primed for

DAVE: it was gonna be exciting

DAVE: like barack obama just turned president remember that

DAVE: we never got to see if he fixed the economy

DAVE: remember how you were dying to see if he would fix the economy you were asking me about it every damn day

DAVE: just joking nobody gave a shit about that

DAVE: but like

DAVE: i never got to check out the next batch of stiller jams and see how bad i could mock them

DAVE: we never got to find out how the midnight crew adventure ended

DAVE: if ever

DAVE: rose

DAVE: ROSE??

DAVE: what the fuck man

DAVE: whyd you go back to your bottles and shit i was right in the thick of hella elocution

DAVE: dont give me that

DAVE: yes

DAVE: uh yeah

DAVE: yes i do ACTUALLY want you to come back over here

DAVE: im waiting

ROSE: Fine. Here I am.

DAVE: wow was that so hard

DAVE: this is what civilized people do rose they fucking talk to each other like actually in each others fucking vicinities

ROSE: You just have a tendency to go on for a while. I assumed we progressed to the traditional mumbling monologue stage of Striderian discourse.

DAVE: no thats not even a thing

DAVE: i was actually like

DAVE: trying to get your take

ROSE: Take on what.

DAVE: i dont even know

DAVE: i bet john would have stuff to say

DAVE: hes probably going through the same frozen fucking caveman from 2009 syndrome as me

DAVE: actually what am i saying the dude is a caveman from 1997

DAVE: hahaha like he could give a shit as long as hes got his cage dvds

ROSE: Oh! I saw him the other night.

DAVE: what

ROSE: In a dream. It was very brief, only a few minutes. I waved to him and then woke up.

DAVE: whoa what was he doing

ROSE: He was fighting Jack. Actually, he was doing quite well!

DAVE: oh man

DAVE: you have to tell me all about this

ROSE: I will. Later, though. I'd like to get back to work.

DAVE: ok when

DAVE: tonight?

ROSE: I have plans tonight. How about tomorrow.

DAVE: plans

DAVE: what plans

ROSE: Just some plans.

DAVE: can i come

ROSE: No!

DAVE: fuck fine

DAVE: tomorrow then

DAVE: maybe ill just dream up my own john tonight and well have an awesome time without you what do you think about that

ROSE: ...

DAVE: fu

[shshshshshowrunner]

UPDATED What I know about the Cult and other adjacent things

Organization 13- An organization made up of Nobodies, who are people without hearts. You can lose your heart by being stabbed in there with a keyblade or by being jumped by heartless. Nobodies are allegedly unable to feel, but this is apparently only when you first get turned. After a while you have 'echoes' and 'memories' of feelings. This may be bullshit though. Hearts Can and Do come back, I heard it happen over the phone. It's still unclear to me if there are any Nobodies outside of Org 13 no one has told me. I do know what the X in the names does, now. It's a tracking device of sorts.

Org 13 (1) tried to open kingdom hearts, I think, but failed. Org 13 (real) did open it.

Opinion: that's a cult. that's a xehanort cult which is worse than a normal cult because Xehanort is there. everyone get out of the xehanort cult. please. you're gonna get norted and that just sounds weird and is weird. if you're in it to get your heart back straight up just make a friend and care for them it will come back on it's own bestie please get out of the nort cult he's gross and the vibes are off, if you are somehow still in the nort cult with him dead literally dm me or send an ask and i will help you

Xehanort- He wanted to open Kingdom Hearts to become god or something. Still unclear to me if he was a Nobody. He norted an amount of people for reasons still unclear to me. As I said previously, "Sucks complete ass, murdered his ex husband who he later ascended to gay heaven with. traumatizes children. ugly on purpose." I beat the shit out of him in the elevator during BFD, I broke his old man bones. I think I saw a clip of him actually murdering Sora's friend. Good thing I broke his old man bones.

Opinion: Die Die Die Die Die

Xigbar- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keeping this pretty vague honestly because I've learned even more secret info and i don't know which info is secret and which is normal anymore. So. Xigbar!!!!!!!!! Copying some from my old summary: Gravity powers :) can teleport :) has arrowguns, from what i understand he was pretty high up in the org. uses mildly outdated slang and can be summoned by voter fraud. did not like it in the castle. goes for the left side of the bed but is willing to compromise. can cook but it takes a long time. says he's not going to tell me things and then tells me them anyway. both me and percy are getting janus vibes from him but when i bring it up he says i need sleep. wants a cat, and a car. We did end up getting a 'cat'!! If this looks like less information it's because it is less information. once again i do not know what i'm allowed to say.

Opinion: Overwhelmingly Positive. that's my boyfriend. he also has, like, the benefit of my emotional statute of limitations in which everything he did before we met cannot be used against him in my brain. it bounces right off. like if i found out he, like, ran an orphan factory or whatever i'd be like 'uh yeah but it was before wbb and he's not STILL running the orphan factory so like :/' and you'd call me crazy and you'd be right but thats just how it is rn

Axel- Lea. Sora's friend. has fire powers (slay), has killed (slay) good with children? (slay if true). "went traitor". that's in quotes because going traitor from the org is a good thing. I still don't know much but that's okay. he's showed up in the record i'm going through and most of the behavior i've seen has been iconic honestly.

Opinion: Positive

Saix- Isa. Do not know much. Xigbar told me some things but like. Anyway. Likes rabbits, is somehow associated with the moon. He told Paph he was working to take down the Org from the inside. Sora's friend. According to Xigbar, when he was making the schedules for the Org, he gave everyone "like one day off a year". when i first heard about this I was like 'well that's not good' but with the knowledge that he was working to take down the org it's very very funny. so true absolutely make everyone uncomfortable and tired while you attempt to take them down that's so funny. xigbar getting overworked is an unfortunate consequence of that but it's a small price to pay for something so funny.

Opinion: Positive

Demyx- Hid in the same broom closet two days in a row even after he was caught and blackmailed the first time. is this a pattern? is demyx lazy? is he inept? may be associated with water- though that may just be ineptitude- for this extrapolation i am drawing from that toilet post. <- that is my old summary. I have learned nothing new about Demyx. uh i think i saw him in the record though and his hair was fun and i like the vibe he gave off.

Opinion: don't really have one. Neutral.

Xaldin- bad gross hair! ugly sideburns! obsessed with the beast for some reason, got his shit wrecked by Belle. Xigbar's least favorite member, no hesitation. loops his earrings through his gauges, which i gather is douchebag behavior. British man jumpscare! sounds older than he is. had a breakup and did not handle it well. removed his heart over it which i think is a bit extreme. i looked up an image of him and he's like. dude WHAT are you DOING with your hair? OH and he got ganked by mickey mouse which is so funny to me. <- that is my old summary. I have learned nothing new about him except that his name was/is Dilan and something something unethical science.

Opinion: here's the thing. I would say negative but due to recent experiences my opinion of every org member I do not know has defaulted to Neutral. So Neutral with a side of :/

Ansem (crackpipe)- There are two Ansems. This one was in Org 13, but is a Heartless instead of a nobody. He's special that way ig. he's one of the 50 xehanorts they had running around i'm pretty sure. Apparently, while this hasn't been reexplained, with my growing knowledge i'm gonna say: Xehanort got turned into a Nobody somehow. His Nobody was Xemnas, and his Heartless was Ansem. However I have NO DAMN IDEA WHY his name is "Ansem" and not "Xehanort".

Opinion: ...Negative? He's Xehanort apparently. I saw in the record he manipulated Riku which is a dick move.

Xemnas- I remember nothing about this guy fr. Had to check my old summary. Okay. He's the Nobody of Xehanort, the other half of Ansem if you will. But. why. hold on why is his org name- ARGH! I'm ignoring the naming thing right now fuck that noise. According to my old summary (i don't remember being told any of this): He stabbed Xigbar (rude), he talks in circles both to confuse people and because he 'doesn't know what he's talking about'. "went through sudden puberty when he got nobodied so his voice is way deeper. i think he's faking it though. for clout. dances like a sonic character. Has eyeshadow brushes that can be used as chopsticks." Fascinating, truly.

Opinion: Negative. Being Xehanort and Stabbing Xigbar will do that to you.

Xion- was supposed to be Sora? Is a replica, which is like a clone (?). Some guy named Vexen is responsible for this i guess. is doing okay now! Implied that Xigbar views her positively, and that she was inseparable from Roxas. A "Good Kid" who "kicked [Xigbar's] ass" -his words <- my old summary. Haven't learned anything new. She has a tumblr.

Opinion: Positive

Roxas- So when Sora turned into a heartless, Roxas happened even though Sora turned back to normal a few minutes later. To my understanding he was trapped in a simulation for quite a while. I don't know much, I'm afraid. Namine had something to do with this whole thing in some capacity. Left the org for reasons.

Opinion: Positive

Vexen- He's responsible for the replica program or at least was in charge of it? From what I understand from the record he was/is some kind of figure to Zexion who is Ienzo so that's something ig. I forget who with but there was another. Do not know much of anything at all about him. is this is guy that Lea thanos snapped?

Opinion: Neutral

Marluxia- this is the one who helped mother gothel kidnap rapunzel?? hello??? rude?? Don't know much about him. He was in the record i saw but it slipped through my brain like water. try being more interesting ig. pink hair though, that's pretty slay. from what i saw he has flower powers? slay.

Opinion: Neutral. I want to dislike him i really do but apparently he chilled out after getting his heart back. truly i am not allowed to be mad at anyone.

uhhhh the girl. with the hair. hold on it's coming to me. Larxene- honestly slay. definitely mean and tried to take over the org (which honestly might have been a good idea given that as far as i'm aware she didn't know about the real reason they were trying to KH and just wanted the heart back??? idk). Only woman in the original org??? I'd be a bitch too!! literally imagine what that was like for a second. she has lightning powers (slay). her hair looks like a pikachu which is less slay but im not about to hold that against her not everyone's hair can be xigbar levels of visually interesting and cool. speaking of xigbar this is one of the people he never ever mentioned to me. xigbar sexist confirmed???? /silly

Opinion: Neutral, but Slay

uhhhhh oh right

Zexion- Ienzo. He was a kid who was adopted (?) by... one of them, but that guy was slacking so he was/is (idk) mainly attached to Vexen and the one I can't remember. I fr don't know what was going on in the record i saw but he could, like, smell Riku. sniffing around like a bloodhound. i'm so confused. come to think of it riku was sniffing around, too. what was up with that why are the teenagers sneef snorfin in that record. no gd idea but honestly i'm intimidated. Xigbar has a positive opinion of this person, who is apparently also friends (?) with Sora

Opinion: Positive. I've heard good things even if he apparently has twitchtip's sense of smell. if you don't know what that means go read the Underland Chronicles series immediately it's so good.

uhhhhmmmmmmm.....

okay bonus category

Other Ansem- Ansem Trigger Warning...... trigger warning for racism. I heard he did blackface but i thought it was gonna be an isolated incident but NO he really woke up and chose to do that every day and IN FRONT OF CRACKPIPE ANSEM NO LESS. HELLO???? I'm almost tempted to give Crackpipe, like, pity opinion points to make up for putting up with that. What the actual fuck?? Not only that but he trapped Roxas in a simulation for whatever reason. I am officially designating Trigger Warning as "Other Ansem" because maybe i just don't know enough about the other one but I Hate This One More. Ansem 'The Wise' bullshit. why isn't he wise enough to know not to do racism. and this one also manipulated Riku and from what i can gather ALSO Sora?? additionally while the other Ansem IS xehanort, this one is PRETENDING to be xehanort which is actually more cringe.

Opinion: if he goes missing it was self defense

anyone still not here is because they haven't showed up in the record and xigbar and i haven't talked about them. at least for a long while. things are getting fuzzy we talk about new things now. okay send post

[heartgirlsalways]

I think I’m in love with someone I can never have,

as well as

someone I don’t know.

He has this energy about him,

life sucking energy.

10 minutes around him

feels like 10 years off my body,

my mind, my soul.

Nothing I say to him is what I truly want to say.

It’s never how I truly feel.

I compliment his clothes, his talents,

when I really want to compliment his soul,

his eyes.

God, his eyes. So pretty.

They wander though, to me.

Pretty often, actually.

It’s haunting how much his piercing gaze is caught in my peripheral.

Not that I’m complaining.

Anything to soothe this primal urge

that’s he’s meant for me.

Despite me knowing near nothing about him.

It’s that energy,

dream inducing energy.

I dreamt I followed him around in this post apocalyptic world for like hours.

Embarrassing, right?

What’s more embarrassing is how much I continued to think about his words towards me, his care of me,

well into my waking hours.

Despite those words, that care,

not even being from him.

I delude myself into thinking normal human actions have some alternative meaning,

that he wants me like I want him.

I imagine he’s just too shy to make a move,

which only makes him more endearing,

this fraud I’ve made up in my head.

An imitation at best,

I can’t even completely picture him in my mind,

but I do my best.

I daydream of him caring for me,

adoring me,

loving me.

I daydream of me caring for him too,

I would do it so sweetly, so lovingly,

if only he’d let me.

[aromantic-diaries]

being arospec is really important to me. i'm ace and demiromantic, and my demi identity is important enough to me to warrant labeling myself as "aroace" (if thats ok ._.)

anyways what sucks for me is

i take it almost too seriously

i'll skip songs about love even though they're my favorites

i'll silence group chats where besties sometimes talk about their crushes

i'll stop reading a book when the main character starts falling in love

why?

i love those things.

i'm trying to prove to myself that i'm aroace.

when i first figured out i was ace, i hinted at it to my mom.

she didn't take it well. she said i was too young (i'd gone through puberty and was able to differentiate sex and romance. i'm still ace today so. take that, mf.)

i really questioned myself then.

and after realizing i was arospec too, i started doing things

to prove that i'm ace and demi.

or stopped doing things

that i love

part of being demiromantic

is love!

and romance!

and attraction!

why do i avoid those topics

like they're the fucking plague then?

i think i'm usually romance-neutral

but maybe that's just me trying to be aro

i want to be aromantic

and i can't always relate to #aromantic posts here

which is fine

but at the same time

i need to stop trying to prove to myself that i'm aspec. i need to stop. it's not fun at all and it feels like feeding stereotypes so that i can be someone i'm not.

I understand that these feelings are hard to process and I don't know if there's anything I can say to you that'll resolve it all, but I have one thing to tell you and it's that you have nothing to prove to anyone. It's okay to like romance as an arospec person, no one gets to be the judge of who's really arospec and who's a fraud, this is not a matter of "us REAL aros and those damn fakers" this is a matter of understanding eachother's experiences regardless of whether we relate or not. That's for my perspective

As for yours, I get that being arospec can affect the way you think about romance and you happen to be in a position where your experiences don't allign with the alloromantic norm but you also don't quite relate to all aromantic people either and I can imagine that's not easy. It's okay if you feel resentful towards your romantic feelings right now, it takes a hell of a lot of time to come to terms with who you are. You don't have to throw romance out the window just to fit in with other arospecs, but if you want to avoid it for now that's perfectly understandable. Take all the time you need to sort your feelings out, until then just know that you are welcome in arospec spaces no matter what your relationship with romance looks like