#to achieve perfect morality was always the furthest thing from human

[frozenartscapes]

Lab Rat - FE3H Fic

In the newly united Fodlan, necessary measures had to be taken to ensure that unity. One such measure was the elimination of Those Who Slither in the Dark. But taking on such a large, powerful and dangerous organization took time. While going for the head of the beast was ideal, they had yet to figure out just where that head was located. So for now, the Black Eagle Strike Force dealt with the parts they could find, and hoped for clues along the way.

And, of course, the Emperor herself was at the frontline of all investigations. Taking down Those Who Slither was the second of two nearly impossibly ambitious goals she made for herself when she finally was pulled out of that dungeon, horrifically scarred and permanently changed and an only child who once had ten siblings. She already achieved the first goal. Now it was time to finish things.

The laboratory she stood in was one controlled by only a small faction of the infamous group. Just looking around it was clear their role in things wasn’t all that important. But the documents that went undamaged from the fight still might prove useful. They were, after all, still searching for ways to reverse all the poisons and afflictions Those Who Slither unleashed upon innocents of the world. Perhaps the notes might provide a key.

Byleth was with her. It was only the two of them for this raid. Any more would have been excessive force. Still, the mages and scientists put up a good fight, and the royal pair were left trying to sift through the rubble of the former lab.

Though Edelgard wouldn’t admit it, Byleth could tell the Emperor was uneased by the lab. “Laboratory” was a loose term, in all honesty. They were underground, deep beneath a noble’s home. While there were desks and bookshelves filled with meticulously kept knowledge and experiments, there were also all sorts of horrendous tools and instruments of torture disguised as examination equipment. Byleth noted how Edelgard kept her distance from the walls holding those tools, instead intensely focused on combing through books and loose papers on the floor. The former professor honestly didn’t blame her.

Edelgard sifted through the books from a shelf that had been knocked down in the battle. As she collected them into a neat little stack to examine later, she thought she heard a small sound. Little feet, skittering around a metal floor. She shrugged it off as imagination, but when she reached for a large tome that lay propped up against something, she couldn’t hold back her startled cry.

The book had been hiding a wire cage. And inside that cage, was a rat.

Edelgard despised rats.

Byleth was at her side in an instant, sword already half out of its sheath in preparation for a fight. “What is it?” she demanded, before she looked down. “Oh.”

“Forgive me,” Edelgard sighed, a hand resting on her chest in an attempt to calm her heart, “I...I wasn’t prepared to encounter a rat.”

“Do you want me to get rid of it?” Byleth asked.

Edelgard glanced down at the little creature. “No, it’s alright. It’s in a cage. It can’t hurt me from there,” she replied.

Byleth nodded in understanding. Still, she knelt down and picked the cage up, earning a surprised squeak from the rat. She set the cage up on a nearby desk. “Just to get it out of the way,” she said nonchalantly, “It didn’t look very comfortable down there.”

“I don’t care too much about the comfort of a rat,” Edelgard told her, her voice cold as she eyed the creature, “But thank you. For removing it.”

Byleth nodded again and continued on her search of the room. Edelgard moved to start searching the books again, but movement caused her to pause. She looked toward the rat again, which had now pressed itself into the furthest corner of its cage. Its very small cage.

“It’s in a cage,” she muttered to herself before willing her feet to move closer to the desk.

As she approached, the rat cowered even more. She could see now that it was shivering. It didn’t...act like the rats she knew. Any rat she had ever seen before skittered around in the shadows, opportunists without any care for morality or respect for the dead as they would feast upon the corpses of her family. Sometimes the little monsters were bold enough to attempt to bite those still living. And they’d only flee if their potential meal had strength in them to shoo them away.

This rat was afraid. Well and truly afraid. And it was a fear she knew.

She had never seen a rat before. Obviously, she had witnessed them. But more like the shadows of rats instead of the creatures themselves. She knew they were bigger than mice by quite a bit but smaller than rabbits. She knew they had long, worm-like tails, and grubby little feet, and tiny round ears, and long buck teeth. But it had been too dark in the dungeons to see them, and there had always been so many that they looked more like a swarm, like an undefined mass of fur and claws and teeth rather than a single animal. And any sighting since had been too brief to get a good sense of things. Just a flash of dark fur and the rat was gone, leaving her wondering if she even saw it or if it was just her damaged mind playing cruel games with her.

But this rat she could see. It seemed smaller than the other rats she’d seen. Maybe it was still young? It was pure white, unlike the normally black or dark grey rats she had seen. It had beady little eyes of an unsettling red, and they would have only made it look more demonic if they weren’t filled with such...terror. Upon getting past its initial appearance, she started to notice more. Its tail was short, ending in an abrupt stump that most certainly suggested it had been cut. One of its ears had been torn, almost in half. There were patches in its fur, exposing the skin beneath. And that skin was covered in scars. On its head. On its back. Its sides. Its legs. Just when she thought she’d seen them all Edelgard would spot another scar. On such a tiny, tiny body.

She didn’t feel fear anymore. Not of the rat.

“They hurt you, too,” she whispered, gazing down at the little creature with empathy. The rat only continued to stare up at her uncertainly.

Those Who Slither in the Dark seemed to have no quarrels with experimenting on human children, so why they felt the need to work on a rat was a question in her mind. Was it something so awful even they felt they should work on animals, first, before moving to humans? No, they wouldn’t waste their time with caring about morality. If her experience with them told her anything.

A quick glance around the room gave her an answer. She hadn’t noticed at first, but there were other cages. All the same size. All with only a small dish for a measly portion of food or water - only enough to keep the prisoner alive. All empty.

Rats were expendable. And perfect to train new hands still getting used to surgeries and torture.

She didn’t know why, but suddenly she was angry. Furious. She wished she had known this before storming into the lab because then maybe she wouldn’t have killed all those horrible people as efficiently as she did. She would have let them suffer.

All because of a rat.

She once wished all rats dead.

It was then that she decided to do something she thought she would never do. But nothing about this felt right. Least of all leaving this poor creature in a cage. So she opened the door, willingly making herself vulnerable to a rat.

The rat didn’t move. It had been petrified by fear. She could see its little chest violently moving up and down.

“Go on,” she urged quietly, “You’re free now.”

She realized as she said it that it wasn’t. Not really. She thought back to her first days after leaving the dungeon. Her father had told her something similar. You’re free now. But it didn’t feel like freedom. She had been too scared to do much of anything, instead choosing to stay in the safety of her room. Hubert was her only companion. She couldn’t trust anyone else. Wide-open spaces nearly sent her into panic attacks for reasons she still couldn’t explain. Small spaces did send her into panic attacks. She hated the dark, having to sleep with a light on for weeks afterward. There had been some nights she even curled up on the floor to sleep because her bed was too soft, too warm, too comfortable. As if she somehow didn’t deserve it.

She was only as free as her mind allowed her to be, and those monsters had so badly damaged her mind that, at first, she was still trapped in a cage even when she physically wasn’t anymore.

That’s when she did another thing she thought she’d never do: she carefully reached a hand into the cage. With a rat.

The rat squeaked and cowered further, and she quickly retracted her hand.

She glanced down at her hand in panic, hoping she hadn’t made things worse. But then, as she stared at the vibrant red gauntlet she wore, it dawned on her. They wore gloves. This rat had probably never been touched by human skin, always some monster in gloves.

So there was yet another thing she did that her past self would have thought she was insane for. She carefully removed her gauntlet, exposing her bare hand and forearm and all the scars upon it, and gently reached into the cage.

The rat was still hesitant. But it didn’t have the same, violently fearful response. She held her hand out flat, a few inches away, and made no sudden movements. When the rat began to uncurl from itself, its little nose sniffing frantically in her direction, she said softly, “It’s ok. I’m not going to hurt you.”

The rat slowly leaned forward, barely touching her closest outstretched finger as it continued to investigate for threats. Its little, crimped whiskers tickled, and she couldn’t hold back the tiny smile forming on her lips.

It took a step forward, moving down her finger a little to sniff her hand. Another step. It paused when its eyes landed on one of the many scars on her hand, tilting its head slightly as it regarded the mark on her skin. “They did that to me,” Edelgard told it quietly, “Those people who hurt you. You and I... I suppose we’re more similar than you might think.”

Small, scared, alone. Hurt. But they don’t have to be.

The rat then gently pressed its head against her damaged skin, rubbing against her in a small sign of affection. And all she could think about was how soft it was. Ever so carefully, she took one finger and stroked the rat’s head. It seemed to melt into her touch, and she wondered if it had ever known that kind of contact.

She held her hand out again, lower this time, and waited. The rat, still cautious, glanced up at her. She could see in those red eyes that it wanted to trust. It wanted to live. It wanted to love. “It’s ok,” she said again, hoping with all of her cracked heart that it would take that step. The one she had once been so scared to take, but was eternally grateful that she had.

The rat crawled into her hand. The rat. She was holding a rat.

But it wasn’t fear she felt. Or disgust. Or anger or hatred or coldness.

Her brothers and sisters would be proud of her.

She was proud of the rat.

She carefully removed it from the cage and pulled it close to her chest. As if sensing the warmth and safety, the rat further curled up in her grasp, pressing itself close to her heart with an almost desperation. To be safe. To be loved.

When had she started crying?

Edelgard had been too preoccupied to notice, but Byleth had been watching the whole time. She wiped away a few wayward tears herself, before heading over to her love, her heart, who was now cradling an animal she had once been deathly afraid of.

“So,” she asked softly, glancing down at the tiny creature whose fur was the same colour as her wife’s hair, “What should we call it?”

---

It was not uncommon, now, to walk into the Emperor’s office to find her working diligently with a little ball of white fur seated on her shoulder. Weiss the rat went with Edelgard everywhere, most often on her shoulder. It turned out she was young, barely a year old, when they found her. But she never grew very big. Which was fine, because Weiss’ favourite place to hide was in Edelgard’s pocket.

The little rat had grown bold the longer she spent with the Emperor, and she proved to be quite an intelligent little creature. She knew a few tricks, figured out the best ways to get attention, and would even hide the Emperor’s quill when it became evident that the woman Weiss loved was going to skip dinner in favour of work.

But despite her newfound boldness, she still found comfort in Edelgard. One of her favourite times was evenings, when Edelgard would cradle her in her arms outside and the pair would just...relax. Take in the cool night, breathe the fresh air, listen to the crickets and the distant sea.

Finally free.

[luke-crain]

➜ BIO

If there was one thing Savannah never expected in life, it was to be plunged into an unsolvable murder-mystery in a strange supernatural town.

She was born into a typical middle-class Korean-American family. Her parents had moved to New England about a decade before she was born, settling in Massachusetts where they started their own medical practice. While some of her siblings inevitably followed their parents into medicine, Savannah’s life took a different path, and she was recruited into the FBI immediately following her graduation from Dartmouth.

Savannah spent the next twenty-years making a name for herself in the Agency. She was a high-flier surrounded by other high-fliers, and it provided the perfect environment for her competitive streak to shine. At the FBI, there was always the next big case waiting to be solved. Her dedication to her job cost her much of her social life, a wife, and several ill-fated relationships, but she was happy. Her mind and body were challenged every day.

But her biggest challenge came when she was assigned a case in a strange town in Maine.

Savannah didn’t know Agent Sterling. It would have been wildly unprofessional to send someone who had a close personal relationship with him to look into his disappearance, but she dove head-first into the case. It didn’t take long for her to realise that this town was probably the furthest thing from Boston she could have imagined, and she almost longed for the field office and the normalcy that came with it.

But there was another part of her that had been set aflame with investigatory delight. She loved a challenge, and the case of Agent Sterling was certainly that. Stories of cults, supernatural creatures and people who came back from the dead, her new home is as infuriating as it is thrilling, and Savannah is determined to explore every last inch of it.

➜ BASICS

FULL NAME: Savannah Lim AKA(S): Sav BIRTHDAY: January 14th STAR SIGN: Capricorn SPECIES: Human ORIENTATION: Bisexual GENDER: Cisgender Female (She/her/hers) OCCUPATION(S): FBI Agent PRIMARY VERSE: Supernatural

➜ APPEARANCE

FACECLAIM: Sandra Oh EYE COLOR(S): Brown HAIR COLOR(S): Black HEIGHT: 5′5″ BODY BUILD: Slender, slight DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: N/A PIERCINGS: Ears

➜ BACKGROUND

HOMETOWN: Boston, Massachusetts  FINANCIAL STATUS: Middle Class EDUCATION LEVEL: College Graduate SPOKEN LANGUAGES: Korean, English, French ETHNICITY: Korean ACCENT: North-Eastern United States RELIGION: None 

➜ HEALTH

FEARS: Failure, being unable to find answers, lack of control MENTAL: N/A PHYSICAL: N/A

➜ PERSONALITY

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good MYERS-BRIGGS TYPE: ENTP: The Debater  TEMPERAMENT: Choleric ENNEAGRAM: Type Three: The Achiever HOGWARTS HOUSE: Ravenclaw POSITIVE TRAITS: Persistent, perceptive, problem-solver, witty, tenacious, practical  NEGATIVE TRAITS: Argumentative, blunt, insensitive, rule-breaker, difficulty listening to authority, single-minded

➜ MISC.

ELEMENT: Fire ANIMAL: Lynx TROPES:

Deadpan Snarker

Be Careful What You Wish For

Occult Detective

I Need a Freaking Drink

Must Have Caffeine

Thrill Seeker

Nightmare Fetishist

[cactusowl]

I am a secular humanist.

Most people, used to seeing secular humanism set in opposition to religion, focus on that first word: "secular". It's true: I don't believe in gods. But that word isn't the important one.

The important word is the second one: "humanist". There have been humanists of many religions; I am one who happens to have none. What we all have in common is a belief that a better world for we humans is possible -- but, if we want it, we have to build it. Humanism is the belief that we are not doomed to a miserable existence or to be the playthings of Providence, but that through our intellect and benevolence and optimism we can forge a brighter future for us all. I hold this philosophy as close to my heart as any Christian holds the cross.

Two thousand years ago, the Greeks used the dream of flight as a symbol of human hubris, in the myth of Icarus -- the boy who dreamed of flying ever higher, and in doing so was put in his place for his ambition and found only death. But, even as they told tales painting human agency as folly, the Greeks were part of the long story of human development. They built ships, traded goods, told stories, grew in wisdom, and pioneered the idea that consensus, intellectual debate, and the collective will, not autocracy and greed, could steer their society toward prosperity and success. Their democracy wasn't perfect, but its results speak for themselves.

Five hundred years ago, Leonardo da Vinci dreamed of flying, and refused to accept "It's not the place of humans to dream of the sky!" as an obstacle. After studying the anatomy of birds, he drew designs for flying machines, machines which would have worked were they paired with a lightweight power source.

One hundred years ago, two American brothers found that power source in the internal combustion engine and invented the airplane.

At about the same time, a Russian -- using the Muslim invention of algebra, the German language of calculus, and the English discovery of mechanics -- proved that we could go to the Moon with a rocket, first invented by the Chinese.

Twenty years after, an American figured out how to actually build such rockets.

Fifty years after that, we put three humans on top of a giant firecracker, designed and built by thousands of men and women, and they carried the hopes and aspirations of billions of people with them as they put bootprints on the Moon. This machine, conceived as the ultimate weapon of war, was transformed into the ultimate expression of human achievement by intellect, willpower, effort, and community.

We can board an airplane bound for the other side of the world -- to see those we love, to meet people different from us, or just to experience our world as one community -- for a few weeks' pay, two scant millennia after the Greeks told stories about the ultimate folly of flight. We can do this because humans refused to accept "no" for an answer, and when left uncowed by falsehood and fear respond to challenges with shouts of "Excelsior!"

We live longer than ever before. We have exterminated dread diseases and are winning the war against many others. We have the insights of the world's scholars at our fingertips. The majority of us live in comfort and safety that the ancients could barely imagine.

We are not satisfied. Even as the Wright Brothers were building their airplane, Tsiolkovsky was dreaming of the moon.

We want to correct the errors of the past. We now realize that burning coal and oil change our climate, that human biology produces a wider range of healthy sexualities and genders than previously thought, that people of all races and in all places are fundamentally the same. We want a better future, one where humans have less impact on nature, one where more of us have material comfort and prosperity, one where we live in an ever more caring, compassionate, and beautiful society.

To achieve these things we need our minds, our sense of community, and sustained effort. These are, after all, the things that evolution has given us that make us human: we are intelligent, we are social, and we endure.

***

I disagree with Donald Trump's policy proposals: His suggestions, such as they are, for how to govern our country are not a good idea.

This is, of course, part of democracy. Vigorous debate between people with different proposals is healthy.

Disagreement with his ideas is not why I reject Trumpism utterly. I reject Trumpism because it entails a rejection of human intellect, a rejection of community, and the embrace of pessimism -- ultimately, the complete rejection of and antithesis to humanism.

Trump's campaign has, over and over again, disparaged intellectualism as a virtue. He has rejected the careful conclusions of scientists regarding the Earth's climate for political gain. He has disparaged the value of thoughtfulness and education, and the value of art and the artists who create it. He has embraced falsehood as a means of persuasion, and cultivated a following among the credulous not by logical persuasion but by tribalistic dog-whistles. The most basic tenet of scientific discourse is that you He has welcomed those who seek to turn back the clock on arguably the greatest medical advance of the last century, collective immunity through vaccination. He has abandoned intellectual discourse so utterly that many of his statements, ultimately, are word salad devoid of meaning.

He has welcomed only the narrowest circle of folk into his tribe, and rejected the fundamental humanity and equal dignity of those outside it. People who love differently, believe differently, have different bodies, look different, or live elsewhere are not welcome in Trumpdom. In his world, Americans are no longer free to buy things from China, trade that has lifted hundreds of millions of Chinese out of poverty. Our southern neighbors, whose culture has enriched our own and whose labor has enriched our people, are now verminous invaders to be barricaded away. Desperately suffering Syrians, fleeing war and devastation, are to be feared, rather than to be welcomed as neighbors in need. Women seeking even the most basic of human rights, agency over their own bodies, have no place in Trump's world. In his quest to unify his tribe around some mythical idea of masculine prowess, he has demeaned kindness as weakness and charity as debasement. He even seeks to demolish the American people's ability to use its government as a steward of the communal trust; in Trump's world, we can no longer use our government as a vehicle to provide for the common welfare.

In order to unify his followers behind his banner, he has drummed up fear of everything outside their movement, convincing them that their nation is failing and that only he can save them. He has rejected hope for rhetoric about "American carnage" and pointed to the signs of economic change -- change that has lifted a billion Asians out of poverty -- as "tombstones". Rather than a call to think clearly, come together, and work hard in order to forge a better future, he has called for ... what? For people to be paralyzed by fear, to reject the ability of the human mind and human effort to improve our world, and to embrace the false belief that only by destroying the progress we've made so far in improving our lot can we reclaim some lost "greatness". Contrived fear is a powerful motivator to those not skeptical of it, and has been harnessed by self-serving would-be leaders again and again to serve their own rise to power and feed their narcissism.

We do not live in a Trumpian world. We live longer, healthier lives than our ancestors. Fewer of us suffer violence, more of us know more about our world, and more of us have the freedom to choose our own paths in life than ever before. Billions of people around the globe have been lifted out of abject poverty by international trade, by the ability -- facilitated by the humble shipping container -- to see our distant neighbors' livelihood as interwoven with our own prosperity. The errors of the past -- racism, sexism, the past ambitions of conquerors, and bad stewardship of nature -- still haunt us, but are we not human? Are we not the same species that in a few short centuries beat back disease, charted the dance of nature, mastered our world, and learned the secrets of the furthest stars? We can overcome these challenges and others, so long as we are not too cowed to stand tall and face them. Our previous president recognized this. Even if his vision was not always clear, even if he couldn't achieve it all, he understood: in 2009 he told the Iranians, "History will remember you for what you can build, not what you can destroy." He was speaking to Iran, but his statement is true for us all.

I can respect and work with people whose ideas for progress differ from my own. But I will oppose, in any way necessary, a movement which seeks to arrest the march of humanity toward a better world and to stymie the promise of the human intellect and spirit. Too much is at stake; the future, absent the interference of a narcissist who has by cynical means found himself in a position of power, has too much promise to let him ruin it.

Trumpism is anathema to humanism. His movement is trying to thwart everything that we are trying to build.

Another American humanist and scholar of ethics said, a few decades ago, that "the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice." He spoke of community and morality, but his words ring true across the scope of human progress: in the end, we have always overcome, because that is what humans do. But the arc of the moral universe doesn't bend that way because of cosmic fiat or ethical inevitability, though. It bends that way because people stand up to people like Trump and say "This shall not stand!"

[citybythebayvisions]

the mcclymonds beginning of the year questionnaire as answered by lance kelley (august 1993)

What is your full name? Any nickname(s)? Why were you named that?

Lance Michael Kelley. Lancelot is the only one I can think of.  I don’t know why my mom picked this name for me but I should probably find out because now I’m extremely curious. 

How old are you? When is your birthday?

16. April 2nd, 1977. 

Where were you born?

Alameda Hospital. 

Where do you live now? Do you like where you are? Why do you like it, if not why not? Is there somewhere else that you prefer?

5th Street in Oakland. I like it because I grew up here. It’s my home! But it’s not exactly the best place in the world to live, there’s a lot of craziness with the robberies and shootings and carjackings but if you know what you’re doing and where to avoid and don’t act like something when you really aren’t, you’ll probably be okay. I’ll go anywhere, really, but probably something warmer or a little less earthquake prone.

Who are your parents? How well do you get along with them? What are/were their occupations?

Jack and Winnie Kelley are my parents. I get along pretty good with them. My dad’s in construction, my mom’s part time at Safeway. 

Do you have any siblings? How many? How old are they? What are/were they like? Do you get along with them?

Only child! But I always wanted a brother or sister. 

How tall are you? Do you like your height?

I’m 5′8 and I like it alright but I do wish I was taller. 

How much do you weigh?

130 pounds last time I checked. It dodges around.  

What color is your hair and your eyes? Would you ever change the colors if you could? Do you wear color contacts and/or hair dye?

My hair’s black and my eyes are green. Probably not my eye color but I would change my hair color because it really brings out how much of a pale ghost I look like without sleep so yes! 

Do you have any scars?  Birthmarks? Or other unique physical features?

Nope!

What is your style of clothes? Why do you like that style/dress the way you do? Is it consider practical or fashionable?

T-shirts and jeans and occasionally flannel or longer shirts if it’s kinda cold. Because it’s comfortable. Practical.  

What language do you speak? Do you know more languages?  Is there another language that you would love to learn?

English. I know some basic Spanish from Spanish I. I’d wanna know French to impress girls because it sounds really romantic. 

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weakness? If so, how has it impacted your life?

I’m allergic to a few things but other than that I don’t think so!  

Are you right or left handed? Both? Which do you prefer using the most?

Right handed!

When you are tired?

After I get off of work, if I take too much Ritalin, OR if I stay up longer than I should. 

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? Any reason why you say them a lot?

Can’t really think of any. 

What kind of facial expression are you commonly seen with (devious grin, wry smile, cheerfulness, etc.)? What is a rare facial expression for you?

Just a neutral look, I guess. An angry look. 

Do you think your face reflects the ‘inner you’ or are looks deceiving? Such as people assume you’re mean because your face appears stern and grumpy when you’re really a friendly person.

I think my face reflects my inner self pretty well. 

What is your favorite pastime?

Listening to music and driving.

What is your favorite color?

Red.

Is there any color that you dislike?

Not a big fan of brown, but I don’t hate it or anything. 

Do you have a favorite (or hated) song? Favorite type of music or instrument?

Too many to pick on both sides! Definitely rock-heavy metal. Loud guitars and even louder drums. 

How long is your attention span?

Well I do have ADD and it’s called that for a reason, but on Ritalin I think it’s pretty normal. Otherwise, it’s a total mess. 

Is there anything that shocks or offends you?

Not really? 

How do you deal with stress?

I talk to someone about what I’m stressed about. 

How athletic are you?

A little. I like sports, but the ones that I like don’t have a team. If McClymonds ever has a swimming or skateboarding team, I’ll be the first on the list, but, for now, I’m good with not getting crushed on the football field.  

Have you had any pets? Do you plan on getting a pet?

I’ve had a few fish and a dog named Lucky when I was a kid. No but I wish. It’s boring without one. 

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

Spontaneous but I like to have plans too. 

Are you a morning person?

No!

What are your pet peeves?

Just rude people in general and people who think they’re better than you. 

What would be the perfect gift for you?

My own car. 

If you had to teach someone; what kind of teacher would you be: stern, impatient, patient, passionate?

Passionate because I’d want my student to learn as much as possible but probably impatient after awhile.  

What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

Guns N Roses and Metallica at The Coliseum. 

What time of day is your favorite?

Afternoon. 

What kind of weather is your favorite? What’s your least favorite?

Sunny and warm! Cold rain or extremely windy. 

What would you do if someone shot at (or attacked) you?

Run. 

What would you do if you were badly insulted in public? 

Hate to say it, but I’d probably be really upset and then hide and not want to come out forever. 

What would you do if someone embarrassed you? 

Well I’d let them know it really wasn’t cool and then if they kept doing it I’d just leave. 

What would you do and how would you react if you killed someone? What if they were innocent?

I’d be completely guilt ridden and turn myself in because I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. 

What if someone betrayed you? How would you react? What would you do?

I’d be really upset and pissed but I don’t think I’d get back at them. 

What would you do if a good friend or relative were killed by means other than natural death?

I’d be heartbroken and try and seek justice or any kind of answers for what happened. 

What is your earliest memory?

I remember waking up really early the morning after Halloween and eating Dots and not liking them. They sorta made me sick. But the memory of it is really peaceful. Both of my parents were still asleep, the TV was off, it was real cloudy outside. 

What was your favorite toy?

Toy cars. Hot Wheels, Matchbox, you name it. 

Who was your best friend when you were growing up? Are they still your friend? If not, why aren’t they now? Who’s your best friend now?

Eric Myers. Still best friends to this day!

Where did you learn most of your knowledge and skills?

School. 

How would you describe your childhood in general?

Pretty normal. Like, it wasn’t perfect, but in comparison to everyone else I’ve had it easy. My parents never divorced, my dad’s always had a steady job so we never had to worry about money too much, I didn’t have to worry about somebody being shot or getting locked up forever like a lot of kids do. I’m grateful for it but sometimes I also feel guilty for having it. 

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Michael Knight. Don’t think I’m gonna get there, but I wish. 

When was your first time getting injured badly?

I fell into a table and broke my arm when I was seven. 

What highschool “clique” do you think you fit best in?

I really don’t know anymore. Average students? I don’t do anything that special.  

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

Learning how to drive. 

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

See above. The road test is harder than you think ‘cause you get used to doing things a certain way and it winds up being the wrong way, so you get docked.  

What is your greatest regret?

One particular night last September. 

What is your alignment (good or evil)?

Good.

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

Basically optimistic. Probably too much so sometimes. 

Do you have a religion? What is it?

Christianity, even though I don’t really do anything with it

Do you believe in an afterlife?

I do. I really hope there is one. 

What is your greatest fear (and your lesser fears)?

My mom dying. Getting into a car accident is my second fear because I’m still not too comfortable on the road yet. 

What makes you angry? Sad? Happy?

Not being able to do something right makes me both sad and mad. Music and my friends are what make me happy. 

Do you think people are basically good or basically evil?

Basically good. Even evil things can be disguised as beneficial or good to that particular individual, that’s why they happen.

What are your views on politics? Religion? Sex?

Two of these are super boring and sex is the furthest thing from it.  

What are your views on gambling, theft, and killing?

Gambling’s dumb but it’s not on the same level of moral wrong as the other two. 

Do you sometimes lie (white lies or significant lies)? Can people usually tell when you’re lying or are you a really accomplished liar?

I’m such an obvious liar. I can’t help but smile when I do it and it blows my cover.

How much do you value money?

Not too much since I’m not an adult yet, but more than I used to now that I have to pay for my own gas and dates and stuff. 

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?

Subject someone to torture. 

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?

Absolutely. I think there’s somebody really meant for everyone out there. I don’t think soul mates are supposed to be clones who are there to understand every part of us, but a nice mix of understanding with their own twist that we can learn from. Mine’s out there, I just have to find her. 

Are you superstitious?

Yeah. 

How much do you respect the beliefs and opinions of others?

A lot. It’s not my business to change someone’s mind and certainly not to catechize them for it. 

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings?

As honest as I can be. 

Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

My mom...because she brought me into this world and has always done so much to take care of me.  

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

I’m pretty conflict avoidant...it takes a lot to get me really rialed up.

Are you a listener or a talker?

Definitely a talker. I talk wayyyyyyyy too much. 

Are you a leader or a follower?

Follower.

Do you hold grudges?

No.

Do you like interacting with large groups of people?

Yeah.

Do you care what others think of you?

Yeah. More than I’d like to admit. 

How do you handle grief? Do you cry? What about physical pain, how do you handle that?

I try not to cry but I do. Physical pain depends on what hurts. If it’s something like a sprain or a bruise or anything minor, then I’m more annoyed than anything. I’m not going to go into full tears over stubbing my toe. I cried when my arm was broke, but I really kept crying when I got a concussion one time. Everything felt like it was spinning and I couldn’t stop thinking about how everything was spinning so it made it worse.  

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Everything. I wouldn’t have ADD, I’d have some muscle, and I wouldn’t care about things so much. 

Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

Sorta both, but I guess more extroverted. I can’t be alone for too long. I’m better with people. 

Do you like yourself?

Sometimes. 

Do you have a daily routine? How do you feel if your day is interrupted?

Yeah. I get up at 6:40, I get ready for school, I eat something real quick, I sit here for eight hours, and then I either go to work or go back home. It’s really boring, so I’m up for an interruption. 

What goal do you most want to accomplish in the next six months? Your lifetime? 

I want to keep my grades up so I don’t have to repeat sophomore year again. So far, I’m not doing so bad. I don’t really have a lifetime goal. 

If you could choose, how would you want to die?

Peacefully in my sleep. 

What three words would other use to best describe your personality?

Easygoing, silly, probably way too talkative. 

How do you handle anger? Are you slow to anger or easy to annoy? Are people afraid of you, and if so is this justified?

I’m really slow to anger, even when you get me there I feel like I don’t really blow a fuse and completely lose it. I just get sharper than usual. I don’t like being angry. It doesn’t feel natural to me. It has to really be worth getting angry about in order for me not to calm down after a few minutes. 

How do you react to confrontation? Would you give anything for a quiet life or do you enjoy winning an argument or a fight?

I would sell my soul for a quiet life, that’s how much I hate confrontation.

If you were frozen for 50 (or 100) years or teleported into the future, how would you react? What would you think about? What are the first few things you would like to know about in the future?

Where are the flying cars? Did I graduate? How long do I have to wait for Metallica to release an album of all new material?