#to be fair that cloud of grief over shannon and the army and then shannon dying have hidden this well | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tenisperfection · 17 days

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Eddie’s been thinking about that conversation with Shannon for years now, the one where she turned down his offer to be together again. He never got a chance to say his piece, he never got a chance to tell her everything he’s been feeling about her leaving and coming back until she left permanently, with no way back. He’s been holding on to that anger for years too, and if Shannon’s ghost gives him a second chance to do that like how Shannon’s letter gave Christopher some closure, it’ll be a chance for Eddie to finally move forward. He’s never going to stop loving or missing or mourning Shannon, but maybe now he can see past that grief into those parts of himself he’s been repressing.

#grief is a powerful powerful thing #it could destroy your ability to see the simplest of things and we’ve not even gotten to eddie’s catholic guilt #and eddie has been intimately familiar with grief for a long long time even before he set foot on that army base and long before shannon #his childhood and upbringing and his father not being there and eddie having to “be the man”#eddie’s example of a good man being his stoic and absent father and internalizing that #eddie thinking he needs to provide over being a partner to shannon #and more importantly that grief at having to grow up too fast and hide those parts of himself he thinks aren’t fit for himself #he’s already worked through a lot of his notions of father figures and fatherhood and you can see that with how he is with christopher #but those parts of himself he’s been repressing for decades now?#he’s not gotten there yet #to be fair that cloud of grief over shannon and the army and then shannon dying have hidden this well #and it’s only in that moment when a bullet pierced his chest and he saw his best friend with blood on his face that it parted briefly #i make zero sense now anyway yeah shannon’s ghost will make eddie reckon with some things the end #911 spec #911 abc #eddie diaz

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