#to have to sacrifice this incredibly meaningful gift from his dearest friend

[peregrintook]

“True creation requires… sacrifice.”

[ariaadagio]

Thoughts about S6

This is gonna be a little all over the place. Just me rambling, really. 

So, I went up to LA to watch the show with some fandom friends on Friday. We had an absolute blast. I loved the finale season of the show. LOVED. I had some quibbles, of course, but none worth lingering on at length. I know the ending was controversial for some, but not for me. It worked on all levels. 

I didn’t have much love for the end of 5B (I know, y’all are probably shocked, given some of the things I’ve written re: Lucifer becoming God or godlike) which is why I never really chimed in on the post-5B discussion. I just couldn’t muster much enthusiasm about it, and I didn’t want to froth about or hate on it when other people were having fun and gushing. 

But my main issues at the time involved: Lucifer suddenly wanting to become God felt poorly setup and unearned, and Chloe suddenly quitting the force to support Lucifer becoming God felt incredibly impulsive, perhaps almost out of character. 

S6 not only was perfect for me in its own right, it actually went back and fixed my S5B issues retrospectively. Lucifer suddenly wanting to become God felt poorly setup because it WAS poorly set up. On purpose. He never actually wanted to be God. It wasn’t his calling. And Chloe dropping her Detective job so suddenly WAS impulsive. On purpose. She really didn’t think that one through and ended up being bored out of her fucking mind without that job to engage her problem-solving brain. So ... kudos to the writers for that. I am so pleasantly surprised by that backtracking and never expected it.

As far as season 6 goes ... oh my gosh, what a brilliant roller coaster. Like @tarysande, I also spent a large portion of the season wondering what the evil trick was with Rory. I didn’t trust ANYTHING she said for many episodes. I kept waiting for a shoe to drop that never did. I really appreciate that Deckerstar did not get married—I never felt like a marriage was necessary for them given where they were in their life (a divorcee and a Devil who isn’t beholden to human constructs of law). I actively did not want a Deckerstar baby, but the show did it in a way I found absolutely lovely. Rather than using Rory as a magical “happily ever after” button as so many shows do, she was a tool to create massive character growth in Lucifer, and I am so on board with that. 

I cried during this season. Frequently. Which is something that rarely happens for me when watching or reading fiction. I am just ... so stupidly emotionally involved in these great characters. 

Some people may fixate on the separation between Lucifer and Chloe until her death, but to me ... it worked. Lucifer found a higher purpose and chose to fulfill it, to keep his promise to his daughter—to be a better father for Rory than his father was for him—and he does still ultimately get a “happily ever after” with his family and friends and dearest loved ones. It just starts a little later than planned. Chloe, meanwhile, gets to live her life knowing without doubt the love of her life is not only okay & pursuing his calling, he’s waiting for her on the flip side. They’ll have eternity together—ETERNITY, in exchange for a few decades apart. Bittersweet? Yes. Tragic? No. So I am okay with this. This is a level of certainty no real human ever gets—and as someone with zero certainty about the future whatsoever, I can’t express enough how much this foreknowledge alone would be a comfort in difficult times. It really resonates with me as a meaningful gift.

I do agree that there’s plenty of room for Lucifer to see Chloe without Rory’s knowledge, though I’m on the fence about how realistic this is. I think Dan called it, honestly. Having to watch and not participate is more torturous than not participating at all. And, as I said, he gets to see everybody eventually. He knows his daughter will understand—actively consents, even—and he knows their reunion will come.  He knows Chloe will come back to him, too, because he’s grown to trust and love her fully.

Along those lines, Lucifer showed amazing character development this year. Once this man figures out his feelings and commits, he is ALL IN. I was so proud of him, talking out his feelings, and saying I love you, and hugging people left and right. His goodbyes made me tear up, particularly the scene with Maze. Which. OMG. These two. That scene was a long time coming, and so heartfelt. i loved it. I also loved how comfortable in his own skin he finally seemed this season. He utilized his wings SO MUCH. And his devil face where appropriate. And there was zero angst about any of it.

Time travel is a trope that tends to break my brain, but ... I think Rory showing up is what enabled her own conception. Lucifer didn’t think he could have kids until he finds out he does in the future and then boom, suddenly he can conceive. He self-actualized working swimmers. I know this creates a chicken or the egg paradox—how could this loop ever even start if Rory hadn’t existed at least once on her own—buuut, I’ve definitely seen this trope used in other shows, such as Netflix’s Dark. So, imho, there was an added level to Lucifer’s sacrifice at the end—he wasn’t just trying to preserve his own epiphany via a promise to his daughter, he was actively choosing to save his daughter’s entire existence, and he was choosing to be different from his father.

People who think Lucifer was robbed of choice ... I beg to differ. For the reasons stated above, and also? He was the one who came up with the idea of returning to Hell. No one forced that on him. The only thing Rory did was speed up his time table. And I think there’s a beautiful kind of symmetry to the idea of him returning to Hell and choosing to reframe it as a place of healing, rather than eternal suffering. In a sense, he’s making his own Plan for himself. He’s defining his role in the universe: the Devil, not God. He’s defining his family: Chloe, Rory, Trixie, Dan, Maze, Eve, Linda, Amenadiel, Ella, and all the great friends he’s made. He’s defining his home: not a place, but where his heart is. For the first time in his life, the Devil decided who he is and what he wants to do with his life, instead of letting external forces do it for him.

And I fucking loved every minute of it.

A perfect ending for a long, thoughtful journey.

P.S. If you disagree with me, that’s fine. There’s no wrong way to interpret art and media. But please know I’m not really in the mindset for debate right now. I just want to live in my happy post-S6 bubble. I’d appreciate it if you let me :)

[yohanes-magic-circle]

Digital Disguise: Chapter 4

(Impatient? Don’t like reading fics on Tumblr? The whole thing is up on AO3 now. I hope you enjoy it!)

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3]

By all measures, Yoshiko Tsushima should have been miserable as she walked through the front door of her family's apartment. She'd got her English test results back that day, and they were only just a step above failure. It's not that she hadn't tried to improve. Inspired by Mari's random outbursts, she'd asked for help, but even when she could be torn away from her duties as the school's director, she didn't end up being much use. It turned out that mixing Yoshiko's tendency to slack off with Mari's lighthearted nature and love of joking around was a recipe for very little actual studying to take place. What's more, she was struggling to nail the timing for Aquors' new dance routine – she was always half a step ahead or behind, and attempts to correct the problem always resulted in overcompensation. Nobody was holding it against her, but she knew she’d need to get it together before the preliminaries.

Despite all of this, the first-year student was wearing the kind of smile that suggested that she didn't have any troubles at all. “Welcome home,” came the habitual greeting from Yoshiko's mother. She wasn't expecting her greeting to be welcomed with a cheery “Hi!” from her daughter, and didn't have time to react before Yoshiko's customary retreat to her bedroom. It wasn't much, but it was nice. Having worried about Yoshiko's social skills throughout middle school, her mother credited Yoshiko's good mood to her school idol activities – making some less eccentric friends was the best thing that could have happened.

Thankfully for Yoshiko, her mother didn't know the truth – Yoshiko was in fact grinning from ear to ear entirely because of her weirder interests. School wasn't the only place she made friends, after all. Yohane Time mostly earned Yoshiko fans rather than friends, but some of her more regular viewers had earned their way into what she liked to call the “inner circle,” a small group that she considered to be friends. She'd ask about what was going on in their lives, entirely in character of course, and always made sure to prioritise them for fortunes and rituals. They didn’t know much about the real Yoshiko, but they seemed to like Yohane, and every time she considered just not streaming, it was the mental vision of their disappointment that caused her to think twice.

Quitting hadn’t been something that Yoshiko had seriously considered for a couple of weeks, though. Lately, it seemed like she might be gaining a new friend by the name of Musashino, and when you cut to the core of it that was what was behind Yoshiko's good mood – she was streaming again tonight, and that meant another chance to interact. This newcomer had shown up about four weeks ago, and hadn’t missed a show since. They’d quickly found their feet amongst the regulars in the chat, and while their messages were a little slow, they were always interesting. (Was that down to a laggy connection or slow typing speed? Yoshiko couldn't tell.)

When viewers had been asked what Yohane needs, Musashino had responded with “a demonic familiar,” and Yoshiko most definitely wanted a pet. When another viewer had asked what kind of film a Yohane movie would be, they had already suggested it’d be a tragedy before Yoshiko had even been able to address the question – that’s certainly how she preferred to characterise her rotten luck, even though in reality it tended to lean more towards slapstick comedy. One time, when someone began to question Yohane’s fortune telling as being far too giving for a being from the netherworld, Musashino had leapt to her defence by noting that Yohane hadn’t become a fallen angel by choice – clearly  somebody  was paying attention to the backstory – and that she still had kindness in her heart. As Yohane had talked of the celestial conflict that would herald the end of days, Musashino had been fascinated (and even taught Yoshiko a new word – eschatology). It seemed as if this person was really on Yohane's wavelength.

Yoshiko already considered Musashino as part of that special inner circle, one of the little demons she held dearest. In fact, she was quickly coming to consider Musashino as her favourite, and she was incredibly pleased that they seemed to be just as committed to viewing her stream as she was to hosting it – it wouldn’t be the same without them any more. Whenever she found herself zoning out in class, it was inevitably Musashino that she ended up thinking about, largely because she was curious as to what this person was like outside of their interest in Yohane. Their messages didn't give much away as to their real life, though. Even the name was impenetrable, though Yoshiko assumed that it was a rare detail pertaining to their offline persona – most people chose something meaningful, even if only to themselves. She’d seen a train line with that name when she visited Tokyo once. Maybe this person lived in that area? Maybe, if she could get her mother to tag along for safety, they could even meet? Yoshiko ran over the scenario in her head. “Hey, can you take me to meet my friend from the internet? They’re a fan of my streams and I don’t know anything about them.” Yeah, that’d go down a treat. Without anyone to ensure her safety, Yoshiko reluctantly reasoned that meeting up was probably not such a great idea.

Glancing over at the clock, Yoshiko could see that it was getting close to stream time. She began to prepare the scene, shutting her curtains, lighting candles and changing into her fallen angel clothes. Tonight, her plan was more interactive than usual – the idea being to learn more about her viewers, or at least how viewers saw Yohane. The last thing she did, as always, was uncover her webcam. She was still trying to separate Yoshiko and Yohane, and she’d decided that the best way to do that was to ensure that the two worlds never met – Yoshiko’s schoolmates should never meet Yohane outside of Aqours shows, and Yohane’s online fans should never see Yoshiko. One stupid error with the cam would be all it would take to ruin that, by revealing what was in truth a pretty ordinary bedroom.

With a deep breath and a click of the mouse, Yoshiko became Yohane.

“Gathered in the dying light, a congregation of the wicked, awaiting the angel whose beauty so angered God that she was cast out of heaven. I will grace you all with my presence, but you must know that summoning Yohane is a dark bargain indeed. In exchange for my protection, I require evidence of your devotion. Little demons! You entered into a contract with me, and now an offering must be made. So tonight, my sinful servants, I ask of you – what will you bring to appease me?”

Yoshiko watched as the responses came flooding in.

any1 got sum crosses? Ill hang em upside down   I can sacrifice another goat.   1000 BLACK FEATHERS!   we can mail you a letter   Tabasco sauce and something with cayenne peppers

Truth be told, she had hoped her viewers would be as imaginative as she was. That first one was too stereotypical, the second she hoped was a joke… dull, bland, tasty. Wait, tasty? What the heck? And there they were again – Musashino had sent that suggestion. It was an odd one. Yoshiko definitely had an appetite for spicy food, and she’d genuinely like those things as gifts, but that wasn’t something she’d ever brought up during Yohane Time before.

“Musashino, you make an intriguing suggestion,” she said, trying to figure out her mysterious fan’s motivation. “Why do you believe these items to be a worthy gift?” Yoshiko was struggling not to break character, and the anticipation of the inevitably delayed reply was not helping one bit.

Because the heat would remind you of Hell, and I think you’d like hot food

Well, that was certainly a plausible in-character explanation, and it was the best of the answers – or at least, the thing Yoshiko most wanted at that point in time. It was still an odd one, though. “Congratulations, little demon! You have stumbled upon one of the ways to Yohane’s blackened heart,” she conceded. After verbally assessing some of the other suggestions, she decided to change the subject. “And what sort of place would you all pick to make your offerings to me? Choose wisely!”

a ruined church!   How about a sauna? They’re hot like Hell too.   letz go 2 onsen heh heh   HOW ABOUT AN ARCADE?   Why not Tokyo?

These suggestions were definitely better than the last ones, minus the onsen one which earned the idiot a swift banishment from the chat. The ruined church would definitely look amazing and have the right ambience. The sauna one, they were at least trying – although they might not have been so blatant about duplicating Musashino’s reasoning. An arcade would be nice, but was more of a Yoshiko answer than a Yohane answer. And, last as usual, Musashino’s answer.

“Allowing me to demonstrate my demonic powers on your mortal games would be terribly foolish,” she declared. “What would the glory seekers do when faced with the insurmountable obstacle of Yohane’s high scores? And Tokyo… another strange suggestion that has earned my interest. Musashino, are you perhaps a fellow user of magic?”

Again, Yoshiko couldn’t deny that she’d like to visit Tokyo. She was always drawn to the city more than the country, and besides, you could get everything there and there were some amazing stores selling occult goods. If she could go for her birthday, which was coming up soon, she’d be pretty happy. Again though, that’s a Yoshiko thing, more than a Yohane thing. Musashino’s reply had come through.

I’ve heard it’s a city stained with sin, a place of true terror. That sounds like a place where demons would gather.

Yoshiko couldn’t fault the reasoning, but this time it was even more suspicious. She was sure she’d heard someone say something like that before. It was a silly notion, of course – Tokyo was amazing – but she couldn’t dwell on it long as some of the other users quickly began to mock Musashino.

Did you know Osaka is the gateway to heaven?   musashino are you from the past?   LOL I BET YOU BELIEVE IN HANAKO-SAN IN THE TOILET

“Enough! With so many people in Tokyo, it is easier for demons to blend into the crowd. If Musashino is fearful of the grand metropolis, they are fearful with good cause! And that is all the more reason to offer this lost lamb protection.” The fallen angel had surprised even herself with this stern rebuke, as she didn’t often have to deal with a rowdy crowd. Some of the apologetic comments that followed suggested that certain viewers quite liked Yohane’s unusual disciplinarian outburst, though mercifully they stayed on the right side of the creepy line.

“Now that you’ve calmed down, my little demons, I shall express my desires – with this information, you will be able to make the ultimate offering to Yohane,” Yoshiko began again. “Though the material temptations of this lowly world are truly enticing, my true wish goes beyond such trivial objects. When one of my little demons is in danger, I would even display my true powers to see that they come to no harm – and as my little demons, I expect you all to get along. If you are to descend with me, you should be loyal to me and everyone who descends with me,” she continued. It was a sentiment delivered as Yohane, but it came from Yoshiko’s heart. Her efforts to be more normal at school, her joining Aqours, all of that effort was made because the thing Yoshiko wanted the most was to have good friends. “So even in times of great danger, when the divine and the damned finally clash, will your loyalties waver or will you stand behind Yohane?”

I’ll be standing shoulder to shoulder with you!   ill stand behind yohane   I WOULD DIE FOR YOU   Your wish is my command

Yoshiko was pleased to have everyone back on the same page. “Very well, you have pleased me. Now, I will open my magic eye and reveal the secrets of your futures,” she said, bringing things back to a place where she firmly controlled the dialogue.

After a good half hour of fortune telling, it was coming time to wrap up. “It is almost time for this tragic beauty to retire to the shadows, but I leave you with a warning,” Yoshiko said with all the gravitas she could muster. “Those of you that have made this contract tonight must abide by it. Failure to perform your duties as a little demon will see you banished to the abyss!” The stream ended and for the first time in a while, Yoshiko was pleased to finish up. That one had ended up getting pretty weird between the onsen creep and the goat sacrifice.

Still thinking of weird things, Yoshiko was drawn back to Musashino – were they an esper or something? She couldn’t quite believe how well judged those offerings had been as she scrolled back through the chat. Then she got annoyed all over again as she got to the section where people turned on them. These people were wrapped up in a fallen angel’s stream and they made fun of someone for having some slightly odd thoughts on Tokyo? Yoshiko thought it somewhat ridiculous. She couldn’t help but defend Musashino, as they had become one of her favourite little demons. Still, she’d managed to sort things out by insisting on solidarity amongst her little demons. It brought a smile to her face as she read the declarations of loyalty again, but… where was Musashino? She scrolled back up.

I’ll be standing shoulder to shoulder with you!

For the first time she could recall, Musashino had been quicker to respond than anyone else. Not only that, they’d gone further to affirm their loyalty than anyone else. Who was this person?

Yoshiko was too tired to consider the matter any further. As she switched her light off and went to bed, she decided that she’d have a better chance of figuring it all out in the morning.