#to signify their detachment from their toxic roots

[owlygem]

Manifesting this at the end 💛

[anotherlightcounselling]

Why is Queer Affirmative Counselling important?

The world has come a long way in discussing and accepting LGBTQIA+ people in the past few years. From living under a cloak of invisibility where the pain, grief, concerns, and voices of queer people were not only brushed off, but more often than not silenced by force, to the present day where we have made strides in conducting open discussions regarding issues of gender sexual minority (GSM) community and have some positive media representation. To some extent, we have managed to achieve small victories in the matter. But the distance between equality for LGBTQIA+ people and their present-day realities still remains a huge gaping hole.

LGBTQIA+ individuals are often subjected to bullying, discrimination, hostility, and physical and verbal abuse based on their sexual orientation and gender expression. Queer people either live in constant fear of dealing with the hostility and discrimination based on their gender and sexual identity, or shun their authenticity and stay in the closet to feel a sense of safety. Both of these options are equally detrimental to a queer person’s mental health. Even as kids, growing up in a world where heteronormative and cis-gendered identities have been the norm, many queer children have understandably internalized the idea that their way of loving and expressing themselves is different or outside the (hetero) norm. This creates a sense of shame or ‘otherness’ in queer children, which in turn can lead to toxic shame regarding their own gender expression and sexual identity. The constant barrage of abuse, hostility, discrimination, a lack of support from friends, peers, and families, and incessant reminders that something is ‘wrong’ with them can leave queer people with a deep sense of loneliness and hopelessness. As a consequence of this, they may develop many psychological issues such as but not limited to fear of violence, feelings of abandonment by loved ones, substance abuse, experiences of depression, anxiety, PTSD, and in some extreme cases self-harm.

To help LGBTQIA+ people deal with the multitude of problems they face in their everyday lives, they need to be able to access and receive the mental health care that they need and deserve. This can only be done through queer affirmative counselling. By definition, queer affirmative therapy is a psychotherapeutic practice that takes on a positive view of LGBTQIA+ individuals, their identities, and their relationships. LGBTQ counselling not only addresses the impact of homophobia, transphobia, and heteronormativity on LGBTQIA+ clients, but also takes into account the needs of marginalized people by adopting an intersectional approach. Queer-affirmative counselors work to validate and advocate for those with minority identities surrounding gender and sexual expression and understand how socio-political contexts play a huge role in the diminishing mental health of queer people.

The root of queer affirmative therapy lies in affirmative psychotherapy. The term ‘affirmative’ signifies how this practice affirms and honors the experiences of people, especially in the Indian and South Asian context, where queer people are still marginalized socially and medically. Affirmation forms a very important part of queer affirmative therapy, as the role of the therapist is to affirm the experiences of their clients without prescribing them a cure or pushing them in a certain direction. LGBTQIA+ counselling considers the psycho-social reality of a client as a part of their affirmation process. Even if the therapists don't understand their lived realities and contexts, they still strive to affirm the experiences of marginalization faced by LGBTQIA+ individuals. Queer-affirmative space is detached from the power dynamics that exist between a practitioner and a client, which is the standard norm in western modes of practice. In queer-affirmative counselling, the idea of neutrality of a therapist is questioned as issues of discrimination and marginalization are inherently political. Hence, queer-affirmative therapists are trained to immerse themselves in the self-work of identifying transphobia and homophobia in their thought processes. LGBTQ counselors have a deep understanding of issues pertaining to LGBTQIA+ individuals and are therefore able to recognize that all spaces, including the therapy room, are political spaces.

In a world where the lives of LGBTQIA+ individuals are constantly surrounded by turmoil and challenges at every step of the way, Queer-affirmative counselling offers a space of trust and safety where queer people can be their true selves and express themselves authentically without any fear of judgment or backlash. It is imperative that counselors are able to create a safe space for queer individuals where they can tackle their mental-health struggles and feel understood and supported.

[love-life-reiki]

Deconstructing the Tarot: Wands Suit Edition (Part 2)

We continue with our progression through the Minor Arcana today with the next two cards in the Wands suit: III of Wands and IV of Wands.

III of Wands (launching, long-term plans, foresight, things set in motion) — When this card emerges in a reading, it often indicates that a concrete decision has been made. Visually speaking, it can be thought of as watching a cascade of dominos collapsing after the first one is knocked over. While the connotation here is a positive one, it is also a reminder that one has reached a point of no return; once you cross over the line, that line is now behind you. At the very core, the III of Wands provides reassurance that one knows what one must do in order to succeed in one’s endeavors, as well as encouragement for one to remain committed to action. The III of Wands marks a clear transition from one chapter of life to another, and as such it is often an ideal time to practice forgiveness, self-love, and detachment from what no longer serves you. The III of Wands is indicative of growth on the horizon.

Associated with the number 3 : Three represents a coming together, unification. It can also be thought of as the number that represents the trinity of mind, body, and spirit coming into alignment. Three signifies vital forces, creative successes, and positive energy.

Associated with the Sun : The Sun, which is star rather than a planet, is associated with the concepts of identity, character, and personal drives in the context of astrology.

Associated with Aries : Aries (Cardinal, Fire, Masculine) is the first sign in the zodiac. It’s positive attributes include qualities such as independence, courage, spontaneity, adventurousness, active, generous, creative, and youthful. It’s shadow attributes include qualities such as reckless, temperamental, impatient, self-involved, and careless.

IV of Wands (results, rewards, celebration, teamwork, gratitude, home — When this card emerges in a reading, it often indicates that it is a time for one to set aside time to celebrate one’s accomplishments. It surfaces from the Tarot when you have made significant progress toward an established goal and there is a need for you to pause and acknowledge all of the efforts made up until this point in time. Striving towards a goal often happens in stages, and it is incredibly important to create space between these stages to appreciate your hard work, to reflect on what you have accomplished, and to prepare to embark on the next stage of the journey. The castle that stands in the middle of the card is intended to represent one’s home environment. It raises the question of how your home environment contributed, if at all, to the success you have experienced along your journey. If it has, it is a reminder to express gratitude for the people and resources that have enabled you to achieve all that you have. If it has not, it is a reminder to eliminate what no longer serves you, and perhaps even encourage you to remove yourself from what may be a toxic environment.

Associated with the number 4 : Four represents stability, rationality, structure, and rules. Four is about the practical parts of life that require self-discipline and dedication. Four often indicates being rooted or static, which can be both a good and bad thing depending on specific circumstances.

Associated with Venus : Venus is the second planet from the Sun, named after the Roman goddess of love, fertility, and beauty. Venus is associated with love, pleasure, beauty, manners, and friendship.

Associated with Aries : Aries (Cardinal, Fire, Masculine) is the first sign in the zodiac. It’s positive attributes include qualities such as independence, courage, spontaneity, adventurousness, active, generous, creative, and youthful. It’s shadow attributes include qualities such as reckless, temperamental, impatient, self-involved, and careless.

Make sure to follow my page for more installments in the Deconstructing the Tarot series. Next up will be V of Wands and VI of Wands!

Find me on Facebook — Facebook.com/LoveLifeReiki

Find me on Instagram — @love_life_reiki

Check out my website — www.LoveLifeReiki.com

[mrmarknewman]

How to Recognize and Avoid Volunteer Burnout

Guest post by Kayla Matthews.

Volunteers are often the lifeblood for nonprofits, especially when those organizations are understaffed and overworked.

But what happens when those volunteers become disheartened and no longer enjoy the work they do? They might be suffering from burnout, and you need to take action before it’s too late.

Why Should Volunteer Coordinators Get Educated About Volunteer Burnout?

There are various reasons volunteer coordinators and other nonprofit professionals need to be aware of what volunteer burnout is and when it’s happening. To begin with, volunteer burnout can have a direct effect on your organization’s impact. If burned-out volunteers continue to show up for their shifts, their overall productivity will likely decrease. And their burnout will only get worse.

Volunteers are also representatives of the organizations they serve, especially if they’re in public-facing positions like those associated with fundraising or direct client services. If volunteers  are worn-out or unenthused about the work they’re doing, the individuals they’re working with might have second thoughts about supporting your organization.

Plus, as advocates for your organization, the information they share in their social circles will travel. Volunteers suffering from burnout may critique your organization or speak negatively about the work you do, ultimately discouraging their friends from getting involved. Word-of-mouth recruitment remains one of the most successful volunteer recruitment methods, so this can be detrimental to your goals.

In some instances, volunteer burnout may happen because of poor management at the organization, causing volunteers to resent their managers, fight back against policies or create a toxic culture and lowered morale throughout the organization.

The Warning Signs of Volunteer Burnout

Burnout is often defined as a state of chronic stress that may lead to exhaustion, cynicism and detachment. It’s also identified in individuals who have feelings of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment. The risk of burnout increases in volunteers over time, which is why it’s so important to identify and address these symptoms before they become damaging.

First, watch for any distinctive changes in a volunteer’s personality that could signify they’re in distress. For example, if a person regularly spoke about how they loved volunteering and got excited by their work starts complaining and acting grumpy, this could mean they’re feeling worn out by their role. Cynicism, anger, loss of enjoyment and increased irritability are all symptoms associated with burnout. You may also want to watch out for any volunteers who were once extremely forthcoming about their emotions and struggles but are now closed off — burnout could be to blame.

It’s also a bad sign if volunteers start confiding that they’re feeling overwhelmed by the work, especially if they previously found it manageable. This might mean they have too much on their plate or are having trouble dealing with the difficult emotions and situations that they’re encountering.

Keep an eye out for volunteers who don’t feel like their work has an impact. Many volunteers are motivated to get involved because they want to make a difference in the world. If they feel ineffective, they could become hopeless, cynical or increasingly pessimistic and, eventually, give up. That’s not what anyone wants to see happen.

Changes in reliability or productivity can come about due to volunteer burnout, too. When a person used to faithfully show up and dedicate themselves to every assigned task and now doesn’t report for shifts, shows up late or completes responsibilities carelessly, volunteer burnout may be affecting them.

Volunteer organizers should address any possible symptoms of volunteer burnout as soon as they appear. Otherwise, a volunteer may feel so exhausted, cynical or ineffective that they decide the organization is no longer worth supporting.

General Life Stresses Could Appear as Burnout

Of course, the symptoms above could also result from other stressful situations they’re dealing with that aren’t related to your volunteer program. Don’t immediately assume volunteer burnout has caused the changes you’re noticing. It’s best to have a private conversation with the respective individual and kindly ask them if they’re dealing with life changes or other things that could cause stress not directly related to burnout.

Volunteers could be dealing with stress at work or from starting a new job or losing one (in fact, studies estimate that one quarter of millennials will have worked as many as five different jobs by the time they’re 35). Other life stresses, like managing health problems or strain in their family life, could also put volunteers at risk for burnout. In these cases, volunteering isn’t the root cause, but they may still need to change their schedule, lighten their workload or even take a break from volunteering.

Managing a volunteer program requires high emotional intelligence, so use those skills if you start to see any of the signs mentioned above. Bring up your concerns in a private conversation with the individual and ask them how they’re doing, how they’re liking the work, etc. Let them know you’re willing to work with them to alleviate any stress and make sure they can still enjoy volunteering.

Strategies for Avoiding Volunteer Burnout

As mentioned earlier, volunteer organizers should be observant and watch for uncharacteristic behaviors in their volunteers. But, preventing volunteer burnout begins when volunteers and their managers have stable working relationships with open lines of communication.

This should start when volunteers first sign up to help out. Be honest about what the work entails. This is particularly important for organizations that deal with emotionally challenging work, but it’s also important if an individual’s expectations don’t fit the reality of the role (say, if they want to work with animals but won’t actually have the chance to interact with them).

Volunteers should go through appropriate training sessions and know what to expect. You can also ask prospective volunteers to think about what the volunteer opportunity entails for a week or so before accepting or turning it down, with no fear of judgment either way.

Another beneficial strategy for preventing burnout is to schedule regular check-ins with volunteers to ask how they’re feeling about the work. If you’ve noticed signs that they might be getting burned out due to always doing the same kinds of work during their shift, suggest they get trained to do something else in the organization. If they feel like they have too much on their plate, help them lighten their load. And if they’re exhausted or worn out, they may need to take a break from volunteering.

Be as flexible as possible regarding volunteer scheduling, too.  Remember, life can make it impossible to stick to commitments from time to time. Aim to come up with guidelines, such as what to do if volunteers need to miss a day or come late, to make it clear that you’re willing and able to work with them.

And finally, help volunteers understand their impact. Volunteers give so much time and energy because they want to effect change. But many of the issues they’re working on are large and systemic; change isn’t always obvious and can take a long time. It’s your responsibility to share the story of their work — what it means to your organization and the community, how it contributes to your organization’s mission, etc. Otherwise, they may start to feel like they’re just wasting their time.

Coping With Burned-Out Volunteers

Burnout can happen even when coordinators take preventive measures. When it does, volunteer organizers should remain sensitive to what a person is going through and do everything they can to keep them from feeling ashamed. In some cases, a volunteer may believe burnout is a sign of weakness and something that proves they’re not cut out for the work.

Assure them burnout can happen to anyone, and it does not reflect a lack of worthiness as a volunteer. Encourage volunteers to reflect and try to identify some of the factors that contributed to the burnout, if possible. The information they give could stop future adverse situations. For example, if a person says, “I was handling everything OK until I started directly engaging with the human trafficking victims,” that’s a sign that a change in the kind of work they perform could help.

Self-care strategies can also help a person recover from burnout. Activities like writing in a journal, meditating or long walks outdoors could help people come to terms with some of the things that caused the exhaustion and allow them to regain resiliency. If burnout is common at your organization, consider providing trainings and workshops on self care.

Additionally, if the person needs to temporarily take on a reduced workload or go on a leave of absence from the organization for recovery purposes, volunteer organizers should support them fully in these choices. It’s far better to give the volunteer the time they need to bounce back than to lose the support entirely.

Awareness Goes a Long Way in Stopping Burnout

Nonprofit environments can be extraordinarily busy, and in some settings, volunteers and their concerns get overlooked. Don’t let this happen. Remember, volunteers are a key component to your organization’s success. When they’re unhappy, your whole organization will feel the effects. Now that you know what volunteer burnout is and how to address it, you can help your volunteers (and your organization) thrive.

  from Engaging Volunteers https://ift.tt/2HxrAlD

[n-o-w-is-l-a-t-e-r]

Everything is Exploited for Survival Pt.3

In order to deal with pain, one must become empty. They must detach from any form, one must cling to a goal ardently and in turn you must shape your self within that image. This is the essence of succeeding in performance: characterization. This is the basis of whiteness: surface. Projecting an image is key. This is why whitef**e is essential. Blackness will always be abject in a white society because of whiteness will always foreground blackness, always cast its shadow amongst the behavior of POC's through its division. Naiveté is weakness, know!edge is power. Light = top (surface) and Night = bottom (darkness) Darkness takes no form, whereas light is separated. The surface is empty. Pretty is an illusion. Surface is the greatest illusion. For on the surface, we can convey anything. Always judge a book by its cover. We are always being watched, judged by how we appear and most importantly, judging ourselves based upon what we percieve our selves to be. Culture is the biggest illusion because it is based on precognition, existing in an image of someone else and then being orchestrated by its powers (morality).If someone else is doing it, than I MUST/HAVE to do it. These rituals are simulations, empty and meaningless, however, only we give it power. Uniform cultures have no meaning aside from the instruction of what came before. This is key to freeing yourself from the oppressive structure of others.  This is what makes identity politics so dangerous. Punk attempted to subvert the cis-heteronormativity of the dominant culture. In doing so, it resisted the strict formalism of gender in creating a space of protest. Safety pins, leather, vinyl, torn fabrics, and strewn textures all symbolized a subversion to the mass semantics. The Beautiful Surface-the false surface. The surface is fake, however, underneath is nothingness. Pretty empty. Beauty is the only reality. When you’re young, you're admired. When you're old, you're dead. The surface symbolism allows us to judge based upon what we choose to show and ultimately what we choose to see. Men, exploit. Women, are used.

The mind is programmed to function based on human logic. This is the root of divided consciousness. We are then indoctrinated and judged based on our perception of knowledge. Humans are bored by nature due to the construct of reality. They can never truly turn off the mind so they are in search of ways to continually stimulate their senses to their detriment. Eating, exercising, fucking, fighting, playing  everything is a distraction due to the divisive nature of humanity. In truth, we are empty devoid of meaning, devoid of any singular/objective purpose. This subjective filtered consciousness is what separates us, which prevents us from full interaction. We are all just dead inside. Emptiness is the ultimate reality. We can only remain free as long as we recognize our emptiness. In Fight Club, the very projection of the phallus (surface) is what keeps us from recognize the true reality: death. Duality is an illusion. Gender is an illusion. Everything is an exercise in futility. I am merely a copy of a copy. Give yourself to the darkness. Drag allows you to transcend gender in embodying an expansive version of yourself. You are no longee bounded by conventions of time. You transform into a character that although illusive on the surface is freed. Emptiness means fullness. It means being open to change constantly. The surface doesn't mean anything so have fun. Full of nothingness: Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. Stop looking for tomorrow and live right now,

Humor me. Lyrics to: "People Are Machines"

This is me...

Oh, this is me Neglected and obsolete, I am incomplete This is me returning to my stability This is me giving up and learning not to feel a thing

(We all work, eat, sleep, repeat Every one is a machine)

This is me preparing my grave in the shade, Learning that everyone loses their place under the sun eventually

This is me dealing with my discontentment and deficiency I am handing in my resignation and vulnerability My guts have been hollowed out There is nothing left for me to spill I'm covered in dust because my life has been sat on the shelf

I'm a machine I'm a machine I'm a machine I don't feel a thing

I'm a machine I'm a machine I'm a machine I don't feel a thing

This is me going back to bed, destroying all my intents This is me going back to bed, abandoning all of my friends This is me going back to bed, destroying all my intents This is me going back to bed, abandoning all of my friends

I'm a machine I'm a machine I'm a machine I'm a machine I'm a machine I don't feel a thing

I'm a machine I'm a machine I'm a machine I don't feel a thing

I'm a machine I'm a machine I'm a machine I don't feel a thing

Every one is a machine Work, eat, sleep, repeat...

Fabulations The visible sleeve Which separates that which is unseen Whole nothingness non-form man is a dildo, separated from oneness. Empty masculinity, empty form, always symbolic, A woman is both inside and out, always embodying her opposite A man is closed, and cums on the outside (power) A mans identity is comprised of his hardness Whereas a woman her liquidity, her freedom of expression The essence of formalism is symbolic, always determined by gesture By the basis of social formalism, what is defined as masc. or fem. Men are pyramids, closed external Women are opened internally The phallic seperation

Dragon Ball Z: All Consuming Destructive Masculinity. This system comprises itself on fear, on the competitive advantage of those who are already head due to hegemonic influence such as property, wealth, etc. Those that exist at the bottom are at a disadvantage because they don't have access to the resources needed to fully assess and leverage their reality. On top of that, the market pumps these food desserts chock full of cheap, toxic waste foods which poisons the development of their minds. Those who are at a disadvantage are only capable of doing. They want all those of whom exist at the bottom to do their bidding: working the slave jobs, doing work day in and out so they can continue to exist in squalor. These are empty souls born into a world where they must constantly work or they suffer the consequences. Empty people are clones: copies of copies of copies produced for the purpose of massive consumption and the wealth of those at the very top. The illusion (trap) of gendered dualistic bodies keeps us misaligned intentionally keeping us from the neutral whole. We don't need tradition. Edna Pontellier was aware of the construct of gender both biologically and psychologically. She was able to release her bodily form her oceanic suicide symbolic of the wholeness regained, no longer fragmented by whom she is suppose to appear to be (rigid formalism). The ocean is the fullness of emptiness, of sublime nothingness. Women are freer than men. Unbounded by the hardness that consumes men, they are able to devote themselves to whatever they choose. Formalism/socialization is very harmful in that it denotes separation. I don't believe. Nothingness- which is comprised of everything is alive, truly loose and free of any worry. This is perfectly comprised in the song Lost in Music by Sister Sledge, the wavy ethereality of the nothingness, free from vanity and selfish materialism. Joss Stone also mentions this freedom in her song The Answer, freedom from worry. I'm going to free myself. Free myself from worry, from fear. I'm going to put it all on the line because, honey, I'm all I got. Narcissistic form and function: The sensual world is empty. an empty body, a vessel of surface reflection that is utterly meaningless in creation. A slave of form is someone who is utterly materialistic. Concerned only with their senses, and ultimately how they appear amongst others. Their only goal is to fit in, do as they are told. They are ignorant of their circumstances on earth and either only question their reality to a limited extent or nearly not at all. To avoid any potential pain they avoid themselves from anything that may trigger them concerning their seemingly limited existence. They will toil away, committing themselves to ideologies that is most logical for their “humanity”. In the end there is no meaning, no singular purpose only an ego based one that allows one to construct their reality however they see fit. There is a way for us to exist in the material world while recognizing simultaneously that it doesn't truly mean anything. I can fuck someone while remaining completely detached from him/her because I don't need to own them. This is beauty of futility is it doesn't mean anything, truly. Beauty and the Beast. The beast is cold materialism, separated from the whole of nothingness by vanity and greed. The body is separated from the spirit and ruled by the mind. It is an object, the penis (phallus)is just a tool. Gaston is an example of pure ego form: materialistic, selfish,and ultimately lacking in emotion. Belle is the spirit, the anti-matter full of overflowing love and grace. Sensitive to the world. Inception: the restless materialism conveyed by Dom is an example of how far he is willing to detach himself from the present-which is full of love. He further expands into an empty world that eventually infects the perspective of his wife Mal, who can longer distinguish what is real and what isn't. She commits suicide but this memory is lodged deep in Dom's basement (subconscious), symbolizing both his avoidance and his attachment out of grief/guilt. Mal is a projection of his subconscious but he cannot seem to let her go this projection interferes with the inception that has taken place. Mal’s suicide is also symbolic of the lost feminine, the love that Dom has lost due to greed. He finds redemption and learns to exist in the present. Dom is symbolic of the demiurge, and its construction. White materialism is always determined through control. The very basis of white culture is animalistic, always insisted upon greed. Love, is useless in a white materialist, patriarchal system. Transcending form (ego): transcending age, appropriateness, always being childlike in exploration, always living in the now or at least. affirming it daily. Accepting and giving love routinely. Affirming the nothingness that is the ultimate nothingness. Excerpt from Art as the Absolute: Art's Relation to Metaphysics in Kant, Fichte, Simone In this current age, The Kali Yuga (Iron Age) is a period involving man's lowest degradation: the senses. We exist primarily in the sensual world where we value fame,money,power (symbolic),and everything else concerning the sensual body (ego). Humans only exist for the pursuit of pleasure. Places of divine intention such as ashrams are replaced by competitive profit-based materialist institutions. The world becomes chalk full of illusions based on glamourous appeal (surface. Nothing is as it seems. Delusional fear based ideologies are used to control the quantity of life. Much like the depiction of Patrick Bateman in American Psycho (1999)Everything becomes artificial.

Whiteness is a mirror. It utilizes light (surface) in both projection/reflection. Whiteness is a mutation, for it mirrors its subjects. It is a cannibalistic subjectivity as consumption is central to its power.  for it is utilized in the process of glamour. It is use to charm those who are in opposition, thus creating luminance (haze-mind control). The best way to deflect is to become aware of the glamour (haze) this is best done through direct analysis. This tactic is often used on those whom are the most susceptible aka naïve children and most likely women. These targets are the easiest to control: Diffuse reflection is the reflection of light or other waves or particles from a surface such that a ray incident on the surface is scattered at many angles rather than at just one angle as in the case of specular reflection. An ideal diffuse reflecting surface is said to exhibit Lambertian reflection, meaning that there is equal luminance when viewed from all directions lying in the half-spaceadjacent to the surface. A surface built from a non-absorbing powder such as plaster, or from fibers such as paper, or from a polycrystalline material such as white marble, reflects light diffusely with great efficiency. Many common materials exhibit a mixture of specular and diffuse reflection.

Links: o Is the Mirror Racist? Interrogating the Space of Whiteness by Shannon Winnubst o ‘Foucault, Femininity, and the Modernization of Patriarchal Power’, in Feminism and Foucault: Reflections on Resistance, ed. Irene Diamond and Lee Quinby. Rocha evokes an ethereality that I admire, a form that engages with both the real and the surreal. It exists in a place that is non-gendered that is equally whole and fractured in its components. It exists in a realm that is open. We exist in a masculine age. Hot and hairy. vulnerability / sensitivity are not valued as highly as intellect. Science, the study of surface mechanisms is the new religion. Metaphysics is not integrated into this system. Mechanics, engineers, technicians are the highest form of intellectualism in this era. They replace the form of the biological mother, creating machines instead of humans. The masculine era also breeds competitive cultures which forces one either to adapt or die. The patriarchal matrix (kali yuga aka Agni-Fire Age *Iron): Dominance of fire over water and every other force on the planet. This polarity throws everything out of balance as fire cultures are based on conflict (war) and control (hegemony) Water based creatures turned into a hierarchy of servants or slaves. Difference is demonized, and or disciplined into servitude or the more extreme: eradication. The dominance of kings and the sharp incline in narcissism begins. Fire dominant (father) based systems become instated through war. Religion becomes a dominant moral system. The primitive societies transition from gathering into hunting/agricultural systems. The soul “holy spirit”-divine feminine becomes erased, the mother is lost. The birth of glamour (film industry) begins, the camera is always “on”. Voyeurism/exhibitionism is the mode. Gods Puppets: Narcissism, Hegemony, and the GOD complex in the dawn of Western Civilization o It’s always the narcissist who believe they are God. o The narcissistic god is Aries (Agni) the Fire God who is controlling. o Filmic Example: Embrace of the Serpent- the Christian missionaries who converted the South American tribes and turned o Gender mimesis. Discipline is the mode of control in a patriarchal hegemonic matrix. Discipline allows. We will all evolve into white men through white ideologies such as Christianity. Jordan Peterson is correct, Independence is freedom from the chain. Freedom is being able to exist as yourself at all times. Love is care. we're all just heading towards death. The Ray of Light: Pyramid of success (ascension)

There is no sexuality, only energy. The tradition of gender is illusive in that it requires opposition. BREAK THE BINARY. The only purpose of sex is reproduction. This creates culture. When a man wants a woman, he years for his mother: loving, warm, affectionate. When a woman wants a woman, she wants fluidity. I was told I was greedy because I wanted more. Because clearly valuing my needs over others was considered lazy. The competition of opposites is useless when everything is available. When there is so much diversity present it is pointless to argue your point when you should just let live. Shame- of not knowing what to do and becoming frustrated by my abilities lack thereof and putting off my progress through laziness. I had no discipline in my early home life so I was adept at being lazy. I yearned for stability and yet the very foundation of my home life was the definition of unstable. Such is life you live and you change, you grow and then you die. Part of innocence is ignorance. A child is not aware of the circumstances that awaits them so they must learn to adapt to the suffering. Life in truth is suffering. My mother sugar coated the truth and breeded weakness in her children. She got a man who was disciplinarian, who would step in place of my father. Blinded by the guiding light Our truths hidden by expressions. Exploring the Ascent of Narcissism through Humans in Aronofskys Mother!:  Is a gnostic tale of separation (duality) energies that grow further apart due to the Father/Sun(Javier Bardem) narcissism. Mother (Gaia/Sophia) played by Jennifer Lawrence is the embodiment of the heavenly maternal; love, affectionate, caring. She is matter, Gaia, the earth itself. The house is symbolic of the divine feminine from which all matter arose Father/Sun (Yaldabaoth) conveyed by Javier Bardem is the patriarch. He “created” the realm of matter. However this realm is false. His room at the top of the house symbolizes the Mind: logical, prescient, and illusive. He craves more and more attention and this begins to take form through the creation of humans. Adam and Eve (Brother and Sister) are replicas of the duality of the feminine and the masculine, however, imperfect. Their flesh is flawed through its own ignorance. This is symbolized through the death of the first human death, Abel by his brother Cain. The curse of Cain was Whiteness, which eventually separated him. Through this very act we begin to see the  begins to tear the relationship between the two even further as more humans multiply thus intruding their once quiet home (oneness) Patriarchy-Iron Age-Yang (Kali Yuga): • Male-centric patriarchal societies controlled by men. • Hierarchal systems • The dawn of initiatory “Secret Societies” • GOD (Male) • War • Poverty

[foursprouthappiness-blog]

9 Ways Children Of Narcissistic Parents Love Differently

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/9-ways-children-of-narcissistic-parents-love-differently/

9 Ways Children Of Narcissistic Parents Love Differently

Thought.is

1. We trust too easily and we don’t trust enough.

The children of narcissists are taught that they live in a frightening world – one where love is rarely unconditional. In the early stages of healing, the sight of healthy love and affection always looks slightly suspect to us. On the other hand, the sight of toxic love is all too familiar and feels like a comfort zone. We trust in the monsters disguised as saviors far more easily than we do those who offer us a stable version of love.

Dangerous people represent the same challenges that we underwent in early childhood, so to our subconscious, they ironically feel a lot less frightening. The trick is not to trust too easily or not trusting at all: the balance is found in trusting ourselves. Until we’ve learned to grieve and heal our core wounds from childhood, we won’t be able to trust our inner voice. We’ll continue to ignore the instincts that could save our lives or pre-judge someone who may want the best for us; that is why healing is so essential on our journey to self-love and love.

2. We deeply desire commitment, but we also fear it like the plague.

Outwardly, we seem to be the types in search of long-term commitment. Some of us may even have a habit of settling just for the sake of settling down; long-term relationships can provide an odd sense of comfort to someone who has always felt alienated, especially by their own flesh and blood. However, deep down, we also have an intense fear of commitment, especially when it comes to committing to a person who may actually truly care for us. The prospect of a stable partner represents a “forever” that is frightening.

Due to the enmeshed and dysfunctional family we grew up in, commitment to us signifies another person having complete control over us and our emotions. As a result, we tend to defend our freedom whenever we feel it might be challenged and can withdraw when things get too intense. On one hand, this is good when it comes to weeding out those who were just trying to fast-forward us into a shady arrangement anyway. On the other, it can also put a damper on a healthier longer-term relationship when things always feel at a standstill.

3. We are hyper-attuned – to everything.

Changes in tone? Check. Micro-shifts in facial expressions? Noted. Gestures that contradict spoken words? Documented. We are emotional private investigators that are highly attuned to changes in our environment. We had to be in order to survive our childhood – we had to be on the lookout for whenever our parents were about to verbally, emotionally or even physically harm us. Due to this, we are highly sensitive and intuitive to the needs of others, but we are also constantly on the lookout for what’s about to come.

This hyperactive attunement comes in handy when analyzing situations, picking up on someone else’s hidden emotions and predicting someone’s behavior, but it can help to take a step back from overanalyzing and also see the bigger picture every once in a while. In other words, it’s important to tune back to ourselves, what we’re feeling and how we can best take care of ourselves in that particular situation. We cannot control the actions of others, but we can control which relationships we continue to pursue and how we reclaim our power from toxic ones.

4. We can be ‘swallowed whole’ by the person we love; we make excellent caretakers but we have to work on becoming better boundary-makers.

Remember that hyper-attunement? Well, it comes in handy for being caretakers but not so much when it comes to maintaining boundaries. We learned to cater to the needs of our toxic parents at a very young age in order to survive. Many of us even took on parent roles. This means our boundaries are porous and need extra work and maintenance.

Otherwise, we can be swallowed whole by whoever we’re dating or in a relationship with. Their needs can become our fixation, often at the expense of our own. This can be especially dangerous if we’re dating another narcissistic person in adulthood. Learning that we have basic needs and rights seems like a rudimentary step, but it’s actually one of the most important milestones children of narcissistic parents can achieve.

5. We’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Since the remnants of our childhood tend to lead to destructive cycles in adulthood, it’s not often that we meet someone who embodies what love and respect look like. On the rare occasion we find consistency in a partner or even a friend, it can initially scare the hell out of us.

What does it mean to have someone believe in us and support us without a hidden agenda? We don’t know, so in the early stages of healing, we might unconsciously find ways to sabotage that connection before it even has a chance to begin.

For a long time, our mentality might be, “what can’t come near us can’t hurt us.” This is natural for someone who had to endure multiple violations even before they became adults. It can also be a protective barrier against predators who are drawn to our empathy and resilience. Unfortunately, when taken too far in some contexts, it means we lose out on opportunities for true intimacy along the way. During the healing journey, children of narcissists can heal their fear of intimacy once they begin getting to know and trust themselves first.

6. We become easily enmeshed with toxic people.

Due to our past experiences of abuse, we tend to become attached to toxic people and chaotic situations in early adulthood in a more intense way because they bring up past wounds while also cementing new ones. We internalized verbal and emotional abuse as a twisted sense of “normal” in childhood, so it’s no wonder that we rationalize toxic behavior in adulthood. Anyone can be the victim of a predator, but as a childhood abuse survivor, people who envy or belittle us seem like a natural fit because this type of pain-pleasure dynamic is all we’ve ever experienced.

Children of narcissistic parents may find that they have unwittingly become tethered to numerous toxic people throughout their lives. We have to do a LOT of emotional house-cleaning to detach from these toxic relationships once we reach adulthood. It is crucial to clear that space for heathier relationships to enter and to breathe fresher air away from the constant toxicity.

7. We are fiercely independent.

While we’re taking care of everyone else’s needs, we give little mind to who’s taking care of ours. The thing about children of narcissists is that they learn to fend for themselves early on, to strategically navigate a psychological war zone. Children of narcissists are fighters, so at the end of the day, they don’t really need anyone to do anything for them – or so they believe.

Independence is a powerful trait, but it’s also wise to balance it out with the ability to ask for help and to look for reciprocity in relationships. Do not allow your independence to deprive you of the love and affection you deserve and give freely to others, especially to those who are undeserving of your time, energy and efforts. You are not an emotional punching bag or sponge. You are your own person and you are also deserving of having someone care for you in return should you need it.

Many children of narcissists tend to get into one-sided friendships or relationships where they get drained by the other person without getting any benefits in return. They give, give, give without getting because they’ve convinced themselves they don’t need anyone to do anything for them. This endless ‘giving’ is usually rooted in a deeply painful feeling of never being quite enough and having to work hard to receive love. Children of narcissists are conditioned to become givers by their parents and they grow up with the belief that no one is there for them anyway. They must learn to ask for and be receptive to receiving the same type of love and attention they’re so used to giving to others.

8. We are afraid of being seen, so we either become too visible by oversharing or disappear altogether by withdrawing.

Sometimes, children of narcissists have a tendency to overshare in the early stages of healing in the hopes that someone will see their pain and come rescue them. They put themselves out there to find that rescuer – only to find that the toxic types pretending to do the “rescuing” are only there to feed on their wounds and exploit their vulnerabilities.

However, once they become their own saviors, children of narcissists tend to vacillate in the other direction – they tend to close themselves off so no one can hurt them. If we are vulnerable with you, it’s because we want you to see us for who we really are and accept it. We crave that intimacy. But we take a huge risk in this, because for us, being visible was always akin to being punished and degraded. So be gentle with the child of a narcissistic parent – they’re disclosing things at a slower rate than most because they are trying to protect themselves from annihilation.

9. Despite it all, we are magnanimous with our love.

Children of narcissists are remarkable – in their strength, in their resilience and in their capacity to love despite everything they’ve been through. When we grow accustomed to the safety of someone truly safe, we give it our all and our all is a whole lot of love that we never received ourselves. If that isn’t a beautiful feat, I don’t know what is. Just give us time and space to adjust to this sense of safety as a new normal.  When we have reached an optimal stage of healing, we love fiercely, with intention, with passion, and with special care because we deeply know what it’s like to be unloved – and we never want anyone else to go through what we did.

[foursprout-blog]

9 Ways Children Of Narcissistic Parents Love Differently

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/9-ways-children-of-narcissistic-parents-love-differently/

9 Ways Children Of Narcissistic Parents Love Differently

Thought.is

1. We trust too easily and we don’t trust enough.

The children of narcissists are taught that they live in a frightening world – one where love is rarely unconditional. In the early stages of healing, the sight of healthy love and affection always looks slightly suspect to us. On the other hand, the sight of toxic love is all too familiar and feels like a comfort zone. We trust in the monsters disguised as saviors far more easily than we do those who offer us a stable version of love.

Dangerous people represent the same challenges that we underwent in early childhood, so to our subconscious, they ironically feel a lot less frightening. The trick is not to trust too easily or not trusting at all: the balance is found in trusting ourselves. Until we’ve learned to grieve and heal our core wounds from childhood, we won’t be able to trust our inner voice. We’ll continue to ignore the instincts that could save our lives or pre-judge someone who may want the best for us; that is why healing is so essential on our journey to self-love and love.

2. We deeply desire commitment, but we also fear it like the plague.

Outwardly, we seem to be the types in search of long-term commitment. Some of us may even have a habit of settling just for the sake of settling down; long-term relationships can provide an odd sense of comfort to someone who has always felt alienated, especially by their own flesh and blood. However, deep down, we also have an intense fear of commitment, especially when it comes to committing to a person who may actually truly care for us. The prospect of a stable partner represents a “forever” that is frightening.

Due to the enmeshed and dysfunctional family we grew up in, commitment to us signifies another person having complete control over us and our emotions. As a result, we tend to defend our freedom whenever we feel it might be challenged and can withdraw when things get too intense. On one hand, this is good when it comes to weeding out those who were just trying to fast-forward us into a shady arrangement anyway. On the other, it can also put a damper on a healthier longer-term relationship when things always feel at a standstill.

3. We are hyper-attuned – to everything.

Changes in tone? Check. Micro-shifts in facial expressions? Noted. Gestures that contradict spoken words? Documented. We are emotional private investigators that are highly attuned to changes in our environment. We had to be in order to survive our childhood – we had to be on the lookout for whenever our parents were about to verbally, emotionally or even physically harm us. Due to this, we are highly sensitive and intuitive to the needs of others, but we are also constantly on the lookout for what’s about to come.

This hyperactive attunement comes in handy when analyzing situations, picking up on someone else’s hidden emotions and predicting someone’s behavior, but it can help to take a step back from overanalyzing and also see the bigger picture every once in a while. In other words, it’s important to tune back to ourselves, what we’re feeling and how we can best take care of ourselves in that particular situation. We cannot control the actions of others, but we can control which relationships we continue to pursue and how we reclaim our power from toxic ones.

4. We can be ‘swallowed whole’ by the person we love; we make excellent caretakers but we have to work on becoming better boundary-makers.

Remember that hyper-attunement? Well, it comes in handy for being caretakers but not so much when it comes to maintaining boundaries. We learned to cater to the needs of our toxic parents at a very young age in order to survive. Many of us even took on parent roles. This means our boundaries are porous and need extra work and maintenance.

Otherwise, we can be swallowed whole by whoever we’re dating or in a relationship with. Their needs can become our fixation, often at the expense of our own. This can be especially dangerous if we’re dating another narcissistic person in adulthood. Learning that we have basic needs and rights seems like a rudimentary step, but it’s actually one of the most important milestones children of narcissistic parents can achieve.

5. We’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Since the remnants of our childhood tend to lead to destructive cycles in adulthood, it’s not often that we meet someone who embodies what love and respect look like. On the rare occasion we find consistency in a partner or even a friend, it can initially scare the hell out of us.

What does it mean to have someone believe in us and support us without a hidden agenda? We don’t know, so in the early stages of healing, we might unconsciously find ways to sabotage that connection before it even has a chance to begin.

For a long time, our mentality might be, “what can’t come near us can’t hurt us.” This is natural for someone who had to endure multiple violations even before they became adults. It can also be a protective barrier against predators who are drawn to our empathy and resilience. Unfortunately, when taken too far in some contexts, it means we lose out on opportunities for true intimacy along the way. During the healing journey, children of narcissists can heal their fear of intimacy once they begin getting to know and trust themselves first.

6. We become easily enmeshed with toxic people.

Due to our past experiences of abuse, we tend to become attached to toxic people and chaotic situations in early adulthood in a more intense way because they bring up past wounds while also cementing new ones. We internalized verbal and emotional abuse as a twisted sense of “normal” in childhood, so it’s no wonder that we rationalize toxic behavior in adulthood. Anyone can be the victim of a predator, but as a childhood abuse survivor, people who envy or belittle us seem like a natural fit because this type of pain-pleasure dynamic is all we’ve ever experienced.

Children of narcissistic parents may find that they have unwittingly become tethered to numerous toxic people throughout their lives. We have to do a LOT of emotional house-cleaning to detach from these toxic relationships once we reach adulthood. It is crucial to clear that space for heathier relationships to enter and to breathe fresher air away from the constant toxicity.

7. We are fiercely independent.

While we’re taking care of everyone else’s needs, we give little mind to who’s taking care of ours. The thing about children of narcissists is that they learn to fend for themselves early on, to strategically navigate a psychological war zone. Children of narcissists are fighters, so at the end of the day, they don’t really need anyone to do anything for them – or so they believe.

Independence is a powerful trait, but it’s also wise to balance it out with the ability to ask for help and to look for reciprocity in relationships. Do not allow your independence to deprive you of the love and affection you deserve and give freely to others, especially to those who are undeserving of your time, energy and efforts. You are not an emotional punching bag or sponge. You are your own person and you are also deserving of having someone care for you in return should you need it.

Many children of narcissists tend to get into one-sided friendships or relationships where they get drained by the other person without getting any benefits in return. They give, give, give without getting because they’ve convinced themselves they don’t need anyone to do anything for them. This endless ‘giving’ is usually rooted in a deeply painful feeling of never being quite enough and having to work hard to receive love. Children of narcissists are conditioned to become givers by their parents and they grow up with the belief that no one is there for them anyway. They must learn to ask for and be receptive to receiving the same type of love and attention they’re so used to giving to others.

8. We are afraid of being seen, so we either become too visible by oversharing or disappear altogether by withdrawing.

Sometimes, children of narcissists have a tendency to overshare in the early stages of healing in the hopes that someone will see their pain and come rescue them. They put themselves out there to find that rescuer – only to find that the toxic types pretending to do the “rescuing” are only there to feed on their wounds and exploit their vulnerabilities.

However, once they become their own saviors, children of narcissists tend to vacillate in the other direction – they tend to close themselves off so no one can hurt them. If we are vulnerable with you, it’s because we want you to see us for who we really are and accept it. We crave that intimacy. But we take a huge risk in this, because for us, being visible was always akin to being punished and degraded. So be gentle with the child of a narcissistic parent – they’re disclosing things at a slower rate than most because they are trying to protect themselves from annihilation.

9. Despite it all, we are magnanimous with our love.

Children of narcissists are remarkable – in their strength, in their resilience and in their capacity to love despite everything they’ve been through. When we grow accustomed to the safety of someone truly safe, we give it our all and our all is a whole lot of love that we never received ourselves. If that isn’t a beautiful feat, I don’t know what is. Just give us time and space to adjust to this sense of safety as a new normal.  When we have reached an optimal stage of healing, we love fiercely, with intention, with passion, and with special care because we deeply know what it’s like to be unloved – and we never want anyone else to go through what we did.