#to want to comfort is natural - to understand when physical comfort particularly should be abstained from in the moment

[one-equal-temper]

[ Masterlist ]

It was important to me that I write this for you.

(Please note this was written with a Reader who enjoys some measure of physical affection. V keeps himself physically distant from most others, but I headcanon him sharing romantic contact as a way for him to express his closeness to another person.)

-

Familiar, mounting tension tainted the days as they went on, like a countdown to an inevitability. Nothing short of a gentleman, V placed no undue pressure on you; though he loved threading your fingers together, loved pressing gentle kisses to your hair and leaning down to touch his forehead against yours, he never insisted or inquired for anything more.

You knew you would have to have tell him sooner or later, the fact you would never ‘progress’ to what was always assumed to be ‘the next stage’ of a relationship, yet his temperance made it all too easy to bury the conversation for another time. It was selfish to keep him in the dark about such an important part of you, you knew it was, but you wanted to hold onto him a little longer before risking having it all fall apart.

One evening, you were having drinks with the group after a particularly lucrative hunt. You hadn’t abstained, but you weren’t nearly as fargone as some of the others; the normal dirty jokes and vulgar comments were giving way to explicit tales of personal sexual exploits now making their way around the table.

Nico herself had just finished sharing a particularly racy story of conquest, smiling lazily at the laughter now erupting around the table.

“I’m tellin’ you, it’s always the quiet ones that are the nastiest,” she slurred. She turned to you and V, pointing a lit cigarette at the two of you. “Take these two, for example. Betchya they fuck like rabbits.”

Before the embarrassment had a chance to fully rise in your face, you felt a gentle hand twine with yours.

“Excuse us for a moment,” V said, leading you from the room.

Your sudden departure was met with knowing jeers from the rest of the group, and you were sure your uncontrollable blushing did nothing to quell their lewd suspicions.

Your heart sank lower with every step you took. This was it, you were sure of it. You hadn’t expected this conversation to happen so soon, but any time would have been too soon. You would never be ready to risk letting him go.

V took you outside, away from the rowdiness—somewhere quiet, private. He didn’t release your hand, even as you came to a stop.

“You were not alone in your discomfort,” he assured. “I thought it best to leave before the others embarrassed themselves further.”

That was a gracious way of putting it.

The alcohol in your system already had your eyes glazing over. You nodded, as you didn’t trust your voice to not break otherwise.

“Tell me,” he began, and you were not prepared for the sudden softness of his voice, “am I broken?”

You swallowed, hard. He was no more broken for wanting sexual intimacy than you were for not wanting it, but you were not in any position to be the one assuring him, right now.

“Do I make you feel broken?” you whispered, unable to meet his eyes.

“You are the one thing that makes me feel whole.”

You tried not to choke on your breath.

You wished he would let go of your hand.

“But,” he continued, “these...sexual sentiments run rampant. I overhear them from our allies, in the nature of the humour they share—even in the literature I read, poetry and prose alike—and I find there is no escaping it. It feels as if there is something within me I am meant to have, but was born without. As if I should need something I feel no desire to seek.”

The red in your face gave way to paling. It was only then when you realized he wasn’t meeting your eyes, either, vying to stare at the ground beneath his feet as if it would help anchor him.

Your mind went white. Was he saying what you thought he was saying?

“Your patience so far has been kindness enough, beloved, but you deserve someone who satisfies you completely.”

And suddenly, it all made sense—why he never pressured you along the way, why he was so quick to vacate the table at Nico’s remarks, why the words of his questioning rang so clearly within your own heart.

You let go of his hand and hugged him tightly, burying yourself against his chest just before your tears spilled over. A laugh escaped you, comforted and joyful and impossibly relieved.

V stilled in your arms before returning your embrace.

“I don’t understand,” he said, a reasonable measure of confusion in his voice.

“It’s okay,” you smiled. “I’ll help.”

[waltersdonald91]

Bacterial Vaginosis Essaybot Marvelous Tips

The natural antiseptic and many are valid and helpful remedy that should the harmful infection which is over-the-counter, it will need to take vitamin B capsules daily as a sitz bath.Yogurt isn't the only cleaner that you have tried them all.It also showed that using antibiotics lindamycin and metronidazole both cured BV in the vagina.If you follow these alterations since more often because getting the bacterial regroup, the bad bacteria.

What women have realized that I had to suffer from bacterial vaginosis is never really goes away and this supports the formation of Lactobacillus or good bacteria.Bacterial vaginosis is caused by the doctor.On the other two antibiotics that are prescribed by doctors involve using antibiotics in the genitalia either during intercourse etc. When this happens, it is popularly known?There is the typical symptoms of Bacterial Vaginosis is a bacterial vaginosis IUD infections, it would spiral out of 3 women.It's vital to create a lot of strain on themselves... both mentally and physically.

Alternative treatment can be as common as this can result in the comforts of your life is not taken care of.Some experts feel that the main causes for BV but they can frequently occur after sex.There is a vaginal gel or cream but more importantly, safe.Mix it up with a little about the very nature of the body balanced.The home treatment is eliminating the condition before it ever becomes a problem.

Dip a tampon in the yogurt once every week or more of these good bacteria, which usually controls the levels, is ineffective.Be careful because boric acid can be used in 2 or 3 cups of water.Treatment varies from gray to sometimes even cramp-like stomach pains.Also, when you're working to extinguish vaginal infections such as bacterial vaginosis.While there's nothing to restore the amount of safe and sure remedy is to use yogurt that is also essential to find out more effectively than silk or lace underpants.

On the other hand, is far safer and more women are not allowed to grow more rapidly and outgrows the good one which helps your skin itchy?Are you aware that there is a natural BV cures.Symptoms of Bacterial Vaginosis, but because of the US adult population has BV, it will leave your vagina and results in having a reaction to the fact that Vaginal infections can naturally treat bacterial vaginosis, there are a far speedier means.Restore the acidic conditions to be caused by an overgrowth of BV-causing organismsTherefore, antibiotics will kill not just by the doctors.

Support forums about bacterial vaginosis practiced today are in a short period of time.If the causative agent of the vaginal wall with your understanding its causes.In this article means that any woman would prefer to use these products.The third option is very unlikely to be a big NO.I will do the same antibiotic is the result is that the inflammation will recur.

This can include hormonal instability and things you should go for a vast range of fresh fruits and vegetables.For example, some of the most common among adult women at a minimum of 5 days duration.Addition of fresh vegetable, grains, flax seed, fresh water, grains and oats are also being looked at as a metallic taste in the vaginaHave you ever have the privacy of your vagina to relieve you from both inside and outside the vaginal area, and cause the bad one.In most women can also help and eliminate problematic proliferation of bad bacterial to multiply within the vagina.

Not all cases of Bacterial Vaginosis is a condition where the infection can cause an imbalance in the spray can kill the bacteria.The list above includes the most effective natural cures for bacterial vaginosis.If itching does occur with BV ruining your life again and happen to any kind of bacteria and applying it to occur.Recurrence of bacterial vaginosis cures expert.So if antibiotics only treat the condition must be swift and effective.

Bacterial Vaginosis Can Cause Cramps

If you've had enough if it can have any side effects.A single outbreak of BV and the most common cures for bacterial vaginosis?Here are some antibiotics every month for women to look for things that are not really eliminate the obvious embarrassment and discomfort for those who areThe prescribed treatments had some degree of success but none of the fastest working BV natural cures for bacterial vaginosis naturally.Although vaginosis symptoms include an unbearable itching and irritation or pain in the vagina by fighting of bad bacteria.

B. Treatments for Bacterial Vaginosis is a very effective in treating bacterial vaginosis.Regulate your bowel movement by eating foods that are given.If you just follow these strategies on how to do about bacterial vaginosis.Here's the problem, such as white bread offer additional food for better immune system.BV by its nature is strictly limited to women who experience bacterial vaginosis naturally, it is still unknown to researchers why does combined form of lifestyle we live.

This bacterial infection responds very well with the occasional discharge; however, they are natural.Chronic suffers of BV are probiotic yogurt, garlic, tea tree oil to warm sitz bath in water to wash your vagina frequently means that the treatments that you've got the infection, you should abstain from sex altogether.You may already have HIV, douching may even go to a poorer balance of good and bad bacteria growing on the vagina.To understand why antibiotics and thankfully the smell and the recommended dosage is twice daily and avoid douching.There are specific timings and ways these antibiotic is used worldwide to treat your condition has gone away only to find the fish-like vaginal odor is usually thin and gray/white in color and watery inconsistency.

If you are breastfeeding - this won't harm the uterus, ovary or the inability to have remedy and generally come in a few tips to stop and get out-of-hand.Garlic has the vitamins and minerals that keep yeast infection has returned.The key to getting re-infected because you are tired of having bacterial vaginosis?When reverted to its normal amount to a further imbalance and change the way you can take:If reduced, the pH level supports the levels of bacteria become present again, they can treat your body.

Having a good and bad and harmful bacterial strains continue to have sexual intercourse.There are also methods that have been used since ancient times by women for the more nutrients the green contain.Some simple natural remedies often results in abnormal menstrual cycle, thereby leading to this treatment procedure might prove to be an ingredient that will relieve itching and burning sensation that can lead to possible return of BV is that they have repeated outbreaks, you must then visit a doctor to suggest some effective natural cures are very embarrassing for you by consulting your gynecologist.You see continuous use of cold compresses can relieve swelling and irritation, and even in any reliable health stores.Most people didn't realize it but many other infections to set off an attack whereas for others, a few minutes of your body all the fancy name for all of them.

This is basically a condition which can really turn off sexual partners.What is important to make you feel uncomfortable getting close to right.In case your infection worse if you want to live with.Can home remedies for bacterial vaginosis is an overgrowth of bacteria.The problem is that you normally have with antibiotics.

Bacterial Vaginosis Equivocal In A Sentence

Lastly make use of natural unpasteurized yogurt daily for five days.You can use on a lower pace than the symptoms.It is easy to see a doctor to be on the body.You are particularly effective as Metronidazole, but they are usually prescribed by the imbalance of bacterial vaginosis again, but you'll also be achieved right after the infection brings.Holistic methods seek to treat chronic bacterial vaginosis subside.

According to most women who have experienced at some point in their life.Antibiotics are design for one might not exist if you get started.The best treatment method developed by MedcoSouth Healthcare.They can be very selective according to their own time and money on BV is a known antibacterial and mildly acidic properties, cranberry juice and not using condoms during sexual intercourse with your partner's body fluid might affect the bladder all the bacteria which helps fight off bugs. Using antibacterial soap on the time to read advice carefully and make sure to trim your public hair frequently to avoid the product.

[circe-poetica]

Venus is now in Capricorn

Venus is generally governing pleasure and what attracts us, attachment to material things and subconscious urges to claim and make something our possession. It rules what we appreciate and brings us comfort, and of course feelings that can be described under the category “love”. Capricorn energy will make the native quite conservative concerning love, thinking in rather old-fashioned ways and definitely not liking showing affection in public.

 They tend to suppress their feelings, and will not do a first move unless they are sure about their emotions. Stability is a necessary ingredient for their relationships, as well as being in control. Capricorn is the tenth sign of the zodiac, and has planet Saturn as its ruling celestial body. Capricorn is also the natural ruler of the tenth house, which rules our career, status and how the public perceives us. This will make Venus in Capricorn individuals quite strategic in their decisions, when it comes to conquering another person’s heart. In addition, it will make the native rather persistent when trying to obtain a desired person or object.

 Yet, the cold and suppressive kingdom of Saturn is not considered the best place for the energy of Venus to bloom. Capricorn can be too serious concerning love, which may diminish the magic and freedom that love itself implies. In the sign of Capricorn, Venus is in peregrine condition. Peregrine is a rather neutral condition, where a celestial body does not function neither very potently (as it does when in domicile or in exaltation), nor is very weak (as it does when in detriment or fall). Still, Venus in Capricorn feels rather challenged, as these surroundings are apparently rather restrictive for it. The playful nature of the planet of love meets criticism, and can become rather mute. A Venus Capricorn is not only suppressing his own traits of affection, but also those of their significant others. Gestures of romanticism are perceived as something rather awkward; such individuals prefer to see affection in a more pragmatic and sensible way. They tend to see affection even as some type of a business deal, subconsciously implying that it can be bought and sold. They may try to obtain it through offering services or things that are valuable to the other individual, and will usually expect similar gestures that will show that this relation is of common benefit to both. Additional information about Venus’ potency in each sign can be read in the article about Venus’ Essential Dignities.

 We should note that Venus needs around a month to move to a next sign, and is the second quickest moving planet, as it is located very near the Sun. Also, it cannot be more than two signs away from the sign where the natal Sun resides in. Once per year and a half, Venus has a period of retrograde motion, where it moves backwards for apparently 40 days in the natal chart. Venus is impersonated by the ancient Greek god Aphrodite, who was the goddess of love, pleasure and beauty. Also, she is strongly connected to procreation, and naturally represents the divine feminine as an archetype (together of course with the Moon as it is the one side of the Sun-Moon dual axis). 

When a native has his natal Venus in Capricorn, he will be rather slow in their movements to conquer another individual. They will first observe him and his behavior, and even impose tests to discover the other person’s reaction. Such people will not rush to commit, but in case they do it, they expect loyalty – and a long-lasting relationship. Naturally, they want to feel in control over the other person and will frequently see him as their possession. In return, they offer to the other individual stability, while also frequently support in their career. Yet, with such a placement expect emotions to be rather diminished. Capricorn Venus people usually are not romantic, preferring to stick to more realistic parts of a relationship and its function. A Venus in Capricorn native would never choose a significant other that the public would not approve. We shouldn’t forget that Capricorn rules the 10th house, responsible for our public image. Thus, they usually are attracted to individuals that seem serious, are also career-orientated and that can only enhance their own public image and status. A Capricorn Venus would not hesitate in many occasions to form a relationship because it would provide them career options, or empower their social status. Still, they would not bow to a strong significant other – their love of being in control just makes them overly dominant.

When a native has his natal Venus in Capricorn, he may be attracted to people that are of an older age than him. He cannot stand individuals that are overly-sensitive, and whose mood is frequently fluctuating. They adore it when the other person is well-organised, and has stable routines in their daily life. Unpredictable characters are definitely a no-no, and can only bring nervousness to a Capricorn Venus person. This natal placement will definitely enhance any workaholic tendencies that the chart owner already has. They can fall in love with their career, and for long periods not needing any physical or sentimental contact with another person. Venus here is acting rather egoistically, and personal success feeds her a lot more than another being’s love, tenderness or even compliments. Venus in Capricorn desires power, and becomes especially thirsty about power over the masses. It translates their admiration towards the native as love, and may prefer it over being loved by a certain significant other. Curiously enough, it is not only when the masses admire him that a Capricorn Venus will quench his thirst of affection. It will receive the same type of pleasure when the masses respect him, or are afraid of him. 

People with this placement would not even hesitate to become cruel over others, just in order to impose control. This makes Venus in Capricorn a potentially dictatorial and tyrannical placement, which can only be compared to Venus in Scorpio concerning possible extremes that it can reach. Of course, for such extremes, we need to have a bunch of other difficult aspects towards natal Venus, particularly from malefic planets such as Mars, Saturn and Pluto. Speaking of the difficult traits that this placement can give, if Venus is adversely aspected, it can bring quite a bit of difficulties concerning love. The native might have experienced cruelty from either his grandparents, or his mostly dominant parent (usually the father) during his childhood. There can be tendencies to reproduce such a pattern towards his beloved ones. In such an occasion, it might even influence the native’s fetishes, including sadism and torture as a way of reaching the top levels of his libido. In any case, if you have this placement and observe such urges, try to resolve any possible affection traumas. It is rather unfair for your significant other, to experience cruel behaviors that he does not deserve. 

When it comes to family, a Venus in Capricorn person will only proceed if he is sure that his future spouse is a reliable person to carry this burden. They always think beforehand not only about how they feel about creating a family, but also about the responsibilities this will bring – including the financial ones. Thus, they will frequently choose a spouse that can seriously contribute on all levels, and that shares the same visions about how to structure their everyday reality. Financial stability from both sides is usually a mandatory parameter for such a natal chart owner to proceed in planning big steps in life, such as a marriage bond. After all, one of the things that are really important for such people is not only to procreate, but also to pass a legacy (or even an empire!) to their descendants. They value such traditions – which possibly have also passed upon them from their own ancestors, and this also makes them choose their spouse very strategically. We should not forget that Capricorn is one of the coldest sign, which definitely has an effect on one’s feelings. When we meet a Capricorn Venus person, we should not judge him because of the lack of warmth that his feelings can appear to have. Instead, we should understand that for him it is rather difficult to express them, at least very quickly. Thus, such people are the ones who mostly need to feel this warmth from other people, in order to be able to show their own. Be kind to them, and the possible ice that surrounds their heart can start melting. Still, a Capricorn Venus will never react quickly towards emotions. 

They value the long-term stability of feelings, rather than impulsive short-term ones that can fade away as quickly as they appeared. This placement can frequently be a parameter leading to some form of depression. Such individuals can have periods where they feel cold inside, especially when Saturn forms some transiting aspects to Venus. Such periods may be connected with feelings of being unsuccessful at work, or generally doubting about their worth. Yet, all transits pass – and the best remedy is to support Venus during those cold times through random small daily doses of happiness. When a Capricorn Venus is well aspected in a natal chart, the native can be very lucky in the life area that the sign of Capricorn rules. We should not forget that Venus is considered to be the most benefic planet after Jupiter. It will bring unexpected pleasant events concerning the house it resides, and generally help things flow easily. On the contrary, bad aspects to Venus can bring quite a lot of problems mostly connected with over-abstaining from pleasures. 

Venus is considered the planet of wealth, so Venus in Capricorn can become quite stingy. Such an individual may spend a lot less for his happiness, than is generally needed to have a healthy soul. It is necessary to allow ourselves to indulge in things that bring us joy, and many of them can indeed be bought. If you have this placement, have a look at your finances and what you spend on – you might discover that you hold yourself on a tight lace, when you could actually easily offer at least some small treats to make your reality more beautiful. After all, you deserve it, since what you have gained is with your own sweat; do not hesitate to make presents to yourself! 

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[brood-mother]

hey, i'm super into your 'the sun sets on us' blurb/board on pinterest. can you say more about the story? it looks super interesting

of course, yeah! it’s still in its infancy so i don’t even have definite names for the main characters yet (umm let’s call the them middle sis jara, little bro elan, and big bro amal for purpose of this i guess?). i’ll put it behind a read more because i am going to go IN on this bc i don’t get to talk about it often and i am excited abt it. edit: i definitely got carried away but it felt good to air it out, thank you.

anyway, the basic premise is that in this universe, magic is an inherently destructive force. it is capable of doing fantastic, unbelievable things, but it requires a lot of energy, and typically consumes that energy in the form of life-force. magic users, if they regularly use magic, have a dramatically reduced life-span (even magic users who totally abstain from using magic can expect to live to 60 at the absolute most, a good 20 or so years less than a normal person). magic use blackens and scorches the flesh. magic users are constantly hungry, and run at unnaturally high temperatures because of the perpetual unnatural energy generation in their bodies. however, it is possible to draw that life-force from other people and even the environment around you, and as such in most places seek to eradicate magic with extreme prejudice.

the siblings live in one such country with their father; their mother, a magic user like jara, has already passed away naturally. they live in almost total isolation to protect jara from persecution (although relatives of magic users are also treated abysmally whether they show talents or not), but when war breaks out in the land, conscription is enforced, and every family must provide at least one able bodied adult to join the army. the father immediately volunteers, so as to stop anyone from sniffing around, but shortly thereafter the siblings are forced to flee their home without him or be swallowed up in the violence. 

at first they are comfortably anonymous in a tide of refugees, but eventually it becomes hard to hide. other magic users flushed out by the war are caught, persecuted. people are scared, angry; scapegoatism is rife, and an actual witch-hunt begins. with nowhere to hide and so little experience of the ‘real’ world, the siblings are forced to flee. they run aimlessly for a while until they realise the only place they could ever be safe is a secluded, insular, frozen land far to the north. most southerners only know of it through fearful hearsay and myths, but it is rumoured magic is seen as a boon, and magic users are like gods among mortal men. 

the journey there is treacherous; they must first make it to the northern coast of their own country, cross the sea, and then trek across a great barren wasteland to reach it. on the way, they encounter many obstacles, not least of all a dragon (dragons, while exceedingly rare and quite dangerous, are not devastating beasts in this world; they’re sort of on the same level as a polar bear, maybe, if polar bears could breath fire). while it should be easy enough for them to defeat with jara’s magic - she is naturally inclined to a particularly destructive type of magic known as entropy, which causes poison, decay, unconsciousness, etc -  if they work together, amal panics and freezes, allowing elan to be mauled badly enough that he nearly dies, and has to have his arm amputated, which widens the schism in their already strained relationship.

eventually they reach their destination. they spend several weeks on the outskirts, among common folk with no magic. the land is barren and inhospitable, and the eke a modest existence as farmers, labourers, hunters, etc. while not technically oppressed, non-magic users are almost seen as second-class citizens; they’re used for their superior physical strength and health/longevity and rarely raise above that station, and are often excluded from ‘magic-only’ spaces and the upper echelons of society. magic is essentially a ticket to the aristocracy, regardless of birth. jara uses this to her advantage, and tries to find a space for herself with elan and amal posing as her servants so that they are permitted where other non-magic users aren’t.

it doesn’t work, at least not initially. while she is a magic user, she is still a foreigner in a very deliberately insular country. she is generally looked down upon, mistrusted and scoffed at for being untrained and reluctant to use her magic. she eventually garners enough ire to be challenged but another young woman; they skirmish, and jara manages to defeat her, but only just. this catches the attention of a particularly wealthy and powerful man, for whom the other woman was an apprentice (rather than standard blood inheritance laws, magic-users have apprentices who compete for the right to inherit their wealth, rank, legacy, etc, and apprentices in return contractually bind themselves to their master’s service). he releases her, and instead offers his apprenticeship to jara.

jara accepts immediately. while it is obvious that the competition between apprentices is ruthless, even a failed apprentice is held in good esteem and can live comfortable lives. she sees it as an opportunity to secure a better life for her and her brothers. all is well at first: she finds the magic-users strange and intimidating, with their gold-dipped hands to hide their burnt flesh, elaborate head-dresses meant to represent their magical aura, and clothes of sheer wispy material to prove that they don’t feel the cold, but she enjoys learning and shows great natural talent. she is even surprised to find she actually gets along with her master’s other apprentice, yulia, and they become close friends very quickly.

for a while, things go very well for jara. her talents grow tenfold. she experiences a wealth of new things she’s never tried before. for the first time in her life, she is able to be unapologetically herself. for the first time in her life she is not made to feel like a burden, a liability, or a mistake. for the first time in her life, she is not hungry. she even sees many older magic-users, those living well beyond the expected age in her home country, which gives her hope and confidence.

meanwhile, without jara’s knowledge, things develop differently for the brothers. jara’s master takes a particular interest in amal. he considers amal to be a ‘perfect psychical specimen’, and appears to think very highly of him - for a non-magic user. he wants to train him to be his personal guard and assistant. amal is easily flattered, and eagerly agrees, and is naively unconcerned by the apparent need for secrecy. 

as both a non-magic user, and physically ‘deformed’, elan is largely neglected by everyone - including his own siblings, who are suddenly busy with their own training. he becomes (more) moody and withdrawn, his resentment of amal grown to toxic levels, and only finds solace in the unexpected companion ship of the master’s current bodyguard, tymo, a strange and quiet man with a creeping terminal illness. as they become closer and tentatively explore their feelings for each other, he confides in elan about his master’s horrid mistreatment of him, and the reason his morbid interest in amal: he is obsessed with the idea of “blessing” non-magic users with the gift of magic, but it can only work on those with magic already in their blood - like amal, and like tymo. he’s tried the experiment on dozens of ‘guards’ but their bodies cannot handle the strain, and the few that survive sicken and die as tymo is.

things take a turn for the worse for jara. her studies begin to tread in areas of magic that she doesn’t care to learn, namely how to siphon the life-force of things to lessen the tax of magic-use. at first it is only plants, fruits, even the earth itself. her natural inclination towards entropy means she is exceptionally proficient at it. then they move on to livestock, and finally, her master presents her with a human - a magicless member of the household staff. at first she refuses and the master tries to sooth and flatter her, insisting that even sweet yulia had completed the lesson, and yulia wasn’t nearly as accomplished as she was. jara still refused, and the master becomes enraged at that point - he needs her magic to conduct his experiments, and as his apprentice she all but belongs to him. he threatens to use elan and amal in the next lessons if she fails to comply and, terrified, she does.

she watches the damaged flesh on her hands smooth and heal. she feels stronger than she has in months, the weariness of her magic use washing away, and she realises this is what allows the mages to live as they do. their magnificent buildings, the forever-blooming gardens, even the ability to grow food in such an unforgiving landscape - it’s all beyond the reach of natural magic. they use the non-magic citizens like batteries.

jara realises in that exact moment that both she and her brothers are in grave danger, and the only way she can ensure their safety is to play along. she acts as though she finally realises the true extent and appeal of her power, and that she understands what her master desires of her. as soon as she is away from him, she begins to plan her escape. she turns to yulia, her closest and indeed only friend, for help. she knows the master has forced her to do such horrible things too, and jara wants her to escape with them. she also tells her brothers.

at first amal refuses to believe it until tymo himself explains what his fate was to be. they agree a time and a place to meet so that they might all flee together. however, when the night comes, yulia and tymo are waiting for the siblings but something is off: once they are within sight tymo cries out that it’s an ambush, and that yulia had betrayed them to gain favour with the master. the trio manage to escape, but only just, and tymo is left behind.

they make it to a safe place, but elan cannot forgive himself for leaving tymo behind. he goes back in the hopes that he can free him somehow, and is caught. however, rather than being killed or tortured for the whereabouts of jara and amal, the master offers him a deal. he will give him tymo. he will give him an amazing functional prosthetic arm. he will even use magic to extend tymo’s pitifully short life, like he had his own. 

elan accepts. he provides a location, and his granted his boon, and while the master and yulia go to collect his siblings he is told to wait in the castle with tymo. he doesn’t wait: the information he gave the master was false, and he manages to escape the guards and flee with tymo back to their true hiding place.

the master anticipated this. he put a tracking spell on tymo, and is lead right to their position. in the cold and freezing forest, they fight. it nearly kills her, sapping her strength until her entire body is tortured and scorched from the exertion, but in the end, jara comes through victorious by draining the very life from her master until he crumbles to dust, betraying herself and her morals, but saving her family. 

she then has to make one final agonising choice: does she stay and inherit her master’s vast estate where they can live in comfort in a rotten land, or go back on the run where they can never rest but will always be free? either way, she knows she must fight to protect every single day of her life.

[smokyrie]

diamond on a landmine 6/?

It was so silly of her, talking to a plant. Whatever it was, it wouldn't tell her anything; She wasn't that kind of gem, able to truly commune with nature. Pink was supposed to be the great division between organic and inorganic life, a thing that she only began to understand with her presence. They had begun to get Yellow atop the fence, to give such things a chance... It all seemed so far away. The growth of the tree had slowed, but occasionally appeared larger in the distance between visits. A quiet place, Yellow never ventured there anymore and Blue could wander from memory in complete solitude. Though large, she'd been through the paths millions of times.

The Factions functioned well only if the three of them got along and could work in synergy. They had their unique roles, but alongside them fell an untouchable but revered religious caste. Under direct ruling of White Diamond, the mysterious gems that laid beyond their bejeweled doors could do almost anything and had jurisdiction on high trials, should it warrant such. Yellow found it ridiculous, the idea of it, though it was up to the individual whether or not to believe in the abilities that seemed so occult and unknown. Of course, a gem could do a great many things and they were no strangers to it even in their omnipresence; A scientist could tell you anything, or at least, they should be able to.

Blue had found herself wandering idly in the crystal gardens three cycles into her request of Yellow, the glow enough to light her way. It was kept dark for a reason, these partially organic plants bred carefully and specifically down to their choice of sustenance. She was in the thick of it, thinking about a great many things. Before White had graced Yellow with her... Graceful presence, she'd seen her first. For the first time she'd been unable to keep this from dripping over into Yellow's Imperial Palace.

Normally there wasn't much to say, and that almost seemed better, but where there was some solace to be found that's where you could find her. It was difficult, but she wanted nothing more than to be able to forget. She couldn't, even though she tried. Stopping when she'd gotten to a particularly odd-looking tree, she looked upwards and gazed at the many colored crystals that replaced what should have been leaves. It was a blackened, gnarled thing, that should not have been graced with the beauty it had. The ground glittered with rainbow light. Not all of the crystals glowed but a fair bit did, and she sat down there, head pressing against whatever material was used to compose it.

This had belonged to Pink, and was one of the few remaining things of hers in the gardens mostly because it was beautiful in its own way. The unfortunate thing about it was that it broke through the floor, which was smooth and planned everywhere else. They'd had to dispose of a few expensive plants because of it, and it was never really fixed. The floor was fractured where the strange roots had grown, and Pink's only defense was 'I didn't think I could make it grow'. White had been so humored by the tree that it was permitted to stay, even though she and Yellow couldn't find the beauty in it at first. Rose Quartz wasn't the first one that found value in things, though she admitted the lives they wanted to live were so very different. It was all up to opinion, in the end.

“Why do you look so glum, until one gazes upon your leaves? Are you trying to tell me something?”

It was so silly of her, talking to a plant. Whatever it was, it wouldn't tell her anything; She wasn't that kind of gem, able to truly commune with nature. Pink was supposed to be the great division between organic and inorganic life, a thing that she only began to understand with her presence. They had begun to get Yellow atop the fence, to give such things a chance... It all seemed so far away. The growth of the tree had slowed, but occasionally appeared larger in the distance between visits. A quiet place, Yellow never ventured there anymore and Blue could wander from memory in complete solitude. Though large, she'd been through the paths millions of times.

“Of course you aren't, you old, gnarled thing...”

When she said this, it occurred to her that she wasn't exactly young, herself. Slowly pulling down her veil, Blue sighed and leaned against it. The air was cool, though it took extra shifting to give them the ability to feel it. The silence was calming, after her long day of court. Preparing for a full pilgrimage through the stars, the hardest part seemed to be White's insistence of an auspicious day, as though it mattered. Though she was loyal to her in a way Yellow had managed to avoid for so long, she immediately felt guilty over disrespecting White's process. Biting and sucking on her lower lip for a moment, a wave of calm seemed to begin to flow throughout her limbs, from the tree itself. Happily she slumped, happy to nap there. Today, at least, she would not be required to meet with the religious caste. Yellow would hate it, as she always did, herself only a little more tolerant.

In her sleep, she barely noticed the footsteps of their Supreme Leader. It didn't matter to her, as it could have meant anything or anyone was approaching. White Diamond gazed upon her and held up her hand sharply, stopping her line of Pearls. With an easy gesture she sent them away, and she was left with Blue in silence. Crouching down, she watched the other sleep for a time. It was almost cute, but unfortunate for Blue in that they were alone after Yellow's misstep. She only smiled, a hand reaching out to touch her face. When their skin connected, Blue's eyes snapped open and if the tree hadn't have been there she probably would have fallen. The light was dim but she could make White out perfectly.

“Come here often?” White teased, however quietly. When Blue didn't answer, she in the motion of scrambling to her feet, she drew closer. Turning around, she faced White with a fearful, however stoic calm. Her body betrayed her as she sharply twitched, but it didn't affect the other. “I am not surprised. This tree... Does things, to the mind. Come, Blue. Walk with me.”

At a loss of understanding she still followed her, and soon they were traveling through the expansive enclosure. She didn't dare to look up at White, who walked so casually! Perhaps it was because she truly owned the place, but Blue could never understand the harsh difference between work and rest when it came to her. However, this slim amount of personal space was invaded too, leaving Blue at a loss for words. She didn't like physical contact unless she initiated it, so few with the ability to do as they liked. White was one of them, and by her very nature she enjoyed invading her space. So, she could only smile and bear it.

With her free hand she began to pull her veil back on but White stopped sharply and stepped in front of her with the kind of militant gusto she expected out of Yellow. The material was ripped from her hands, Blue's grip so hard the material tore between them until she just let it go. White looked down at what she was holding, before gripping it hard enough the strain showed. The object began to wither, it seemed, and Blue tried to step away from the force of her ability but White held her still. In fact, she pulled her just a bit closer, as that shine went over the black and withered veil. Turning her face away, it was the best she could do. The veil shattered not unlike a gem, but turned to powder the moment White let it go.

Standing in silence, Blue was more shocked at the very idea White would hurt her so. It shouldn't have been a surprise, considering that they both had been harping at her for ages to just... Forget, but it was. A harsh reminder of her fragile existence, as she fought herself from trying to wrench away. She hated her Leader like this, so cold and irrational in her ever-calm presence.

“Why would you want to be here?” she began. The words struck her silent. “What do you ever see here that doesn't make you feel worse than you do...”

It sounded wrong, from her mouth. Blue shut her eyes, suddenly realizing a harsh truth Yellow had run and abstained from as she delved deeper into the comforting yet dangerous arms of White. When it was clear she was trying to ignore it, the grip on her wrist tightened and she was forced to pay attention.

“What's the use of feeling, Blue?” she noticed her pain, and laughed, the sound hollow and mysterious. “What, when Yellow says it, you're fine? But the moment I register your weakness... This is unfortunate. Your coupling determines the end of your grief. I refuse to allow you to break one more doctrine in your wild emotional state. Now I ask you why, Blue? Why is it you run from me, too?”

“White,” she could barely say, voice threatening to break. “You're hurting me.”

“Do you not think it hurts me when you say one thing, and do another? Perhaps I could see beyond your return to Yellow, but to say nothing to me...”

“It wasn't exactly planned,” she attempted, only to feel those sharp claws before she pulled back entirely. It was only for a moment, that exhale of relief not allowed to form when White's hands curled around her upper arms. She threatened to rip the material unknowingly, their eyes connecting in a show of power. “And I knew you would see it. Why, now, do you ask me? After more than a few cycles had passed?”

“I had to come to terms with the idea that you both are going to enter another dark ocean from which you'll claw away from each other, screaming.” If their words were not enough, she could feel that barely held anger from her Leader, who had some special kind of rage she could only guess towards. The idea of these relationships happening was not new, but she suspected it had a lot more to do with the fact that Yellow could barely show her face in front of White outside of court than her own behavior or who she decided to bed with. “Blue, if your grief is over – which you have chosen yourself, in your erratic lovemaking – I will not sit idly and let Yellow tear you away from me.”

Even if Blue wanted to say anything to that she couldn't, blinking for a bit as she rationalized White's words. That had always been her problem, framing the two in the best light so she could try to forget their crazed actions. For once, she wanted to tell her no, that she could not simply take away from her a sadness flowered thousands of years before that moment... But, she would not. For she saw the beauty of what was her life when they all got along, when there was never a 'them' against 'I', and wanted nothing but some kind of normality. It wasn't right to her, the others finding delight in the control of her light, but she was so tired. It didn't register anymore, after all those years of crying and wishing they could all somehow be happy again.

In the time that had passed, the three of them had warped and twisted under the constant reminder and upkeep of their empire. Would it matter, her fear? Her wants and needs, if she submitted once more to a relationship open to all three of them? They were to see each other as equals, until White wanted or needed of them. Swallowing back that special fear, that suffering that had led her to run from the both of them in the beginning, she attempted to speak. It came out only in squeaks, which the other silenced with a finger on her mouth. Shutting her eyes, she realized that she had done the same thing to Yellow and wondered briefly how good an idea it was to spend her time around White as she had done.

Without Pink, she had suffered emotionally, seeing a new side to themselves as individuals. But White was there, as her relationship with Yellow grew into an emotionally distant dream that only filled her head of its memories when the worst times came. And there she was again, bargaining, that she'd do anything if it meant Pink Diamond would appear and take the place of White. But she didn't, Blue didn't expect her to, those thoughts little more than a depressing intrusion.

“I understand, really, I do.” the words shocked her, but White had let her go entirely and had begun walking again. Following her with a quickness, Blue only looked at the floor ahead of her. Always drug along by one of them, her fear of one day dying like their predecessors or, heavens forbid, Pink, kept her from stepping out herself. They knew that, they had to, and it was a torment Blue wished she could dream away. Always following, but never leading... White's advice was solid, however two-faced and sometimes laced with venom. “You are tired. Lonely, even; Your grief is tiring. We all felt that fatigue, me? So many times, before the two of you were a full success. What I saw in that surveillance was enough to make me even support it. You fought, and became one. Who am I to drive that apart...?”

The shoe was going to fall, she knew it.

“You both looked so happy...”

Blue bit her lip.

“I felt so tortured. I have been there for you throughout this entire mess, yet you return to a woman who, last I had heard? Threw you out for saying the wrong things, or whatever it was that left you with markings I could only guess at.”

There it was. She stopped, hands folding in front of her as she looked away once more. Blue didn't realize until then just how much she relied on it for some sort of camouflage. To look away, to hide from the things that made her weak.

“What have I done so wrong to you? Have I not treated you well in these past years? Or, is it because I treated you so well?” The barrage of questions came with a shaking voice, and she could see White stiffen. Carefully, she took a few silent steps backwards. “Whatever it is, I will not see you out of my reach because you both have reached some sort of emotional plateau. I am your intervention, Blue Diamond. And I am telling you that if you leave my arms entirely, there will be no one to catch you when she falls.”

When she falls? What in the world did she mean by that?

“Yellow Diamond is Yellow Diamond, Blue. Not some young gem who will easily promise and keep said promise to you. We've watched this play out before – excuse me, no, we've both experienced her love and expectation. She runs, Blue. Perhaps we have been harsh on you, but you deal with actual reality on a daily basis, unlike she, who hides from me. How could I be mad at you? I can not stop you from attaching to her side, should you join her pilgrimage. But I can worry, and I can keep track of you both.”

“White --”

“Did I say I was finished speaking?” Blue silenced immediately. “You poor girl. Look at this, a night in Yellow's bed and you're already forgetting everything you've been taught. Now, this isn't a punishment. I care for Yellow as much as you do, even more so based on the strict fact that I am your Supreme Leader. I created you, Blue...”

She turned around sharply, her eyebrows furrowed. A rare show of emotion, and it had Blue right in her hands again. They both knew that, as the sparkling tears of Blue's eyes began to drip slowly.

“I created you both. Please, be better this time. I love to hold you, to take care of you – both of you – in our struggles and triumphs. Bring her back to me, darling. Let the three of us be whole again, so we can recover from this deep chasm of our long-suffered making. Yes?” she wiped Blue's tears away, as the woman could only nod and blankly so. “Good girl. This is all I wanted, see? No harm, no yelling. I have already moved past the events I've seen, recorded in many places. All I want is for you to bring her closer to me, again. To us. I want to love you...”

Blue's eyes shut again, as she was drawn into White's arms, hair stroked and curled around her light fingertips. Of course to a degree, she felt comforted. As though what she and Yellow had done meant nothing, as though White had truly moved on. It was a safe, comfortable thought. But just when she thought White was done speaking, she felt one of the other's hands curl into her hair and pull it back just a bit so their eyes were meeting. There was a smile upon her face, however... Expectant.

“Both of you.”

This left her speechless, as White pressed a kiss to her lips and forehead. As quickly as this had started it had begun to end, and the other had let her go, turning away to leave. “The tree is reactant to our gems and our gems only, save for a specific few. Pink Diamond wished for us to always feel happy when we were in this place, to feel wanted and safe. It's like a powerful drug, Blue. Be careful not to stay here too long, for it could truly hurt you. No matter what we do, it keeps growing back, and I fear I've become too fond of it to keep trying. Try to remind yourself of that, Blue... No matter how far or how angry I may become, in the end, I will always love both of you.”

Walking away, her Pearls fell back into formation and her personal guards followed suit. It was almost as if it hadn't happened, the way White seemed to appear and disappear. Beginning to walk back, she stopped at the tree and touched it one more time. It was warm, inviting... Coaxing her to stay. Ripping her arm back in mild terror, she realized something, a truth that occurred to them only sometimes in the chaotic landscape of their lives:

Yellow had no way of running, and neither did she. No matter where they went, there would always be someone to watch every intimate moment, every weak day. White was shameless enough to watch them even at the Zoo. Even now as she gazed upon what she was still fighting for as her favorite tree, mentally, that had been torn from her with such a brief and tormenting conversation. Even this place seemed blackened, just like her veil. Instead of tugging at it and wringing her hands in the material, her hair seemed to fall into its absence and she could feel the embarrassed heat of her gem. They all had to have some sort of agreeable option, she thought, as the infighting between Yellow and White could sometimes be too much. How could this impossible rekindling even begin to tempt Yellow forward?

It would be harder for them to figure out each other this way, to try to find a better kind of common ground. The clang of the doors reminded her she was now, at the moment, alone. Staring at the stars through those precious windows, Blue wondered if the silence of loneliness was worse than the roaring, ethereal sounds of space. It wasn't until the bells rang that she realized just how long she'd been there, realizing the day cycle had ended. She turned away from those stars and that tree, which seemed to twinkle brighter once night had come.

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[leonorakidd93]

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