#todays culture does on the surface value humor and cutting people down than building them up

[drbarty]

So um, hi there Dr Barty?

I found you and your story a few years ago, and was just blown away by how sweet and kind and brave you are, despite all the bad things happening around you all the time. Looks like both our worlds need more people like you.

I made it my goal to try to be that sort of person, and I’m gonna be honest, it didn’t really work. Especially when in-person school started again. Almost everyone around here makes hurtful jokes or says mean things all the time - it’s so easy for me to slip up and join them and forget that I’m supposed to try and be a kinder person than them.

And… these days, I barely even feel guilty about it anymore. It’s so tempting to go “why should I have to do all the work (trying to be loving and kind) when none of y’all (people at school) are even trying to help out?” Someone’s gotta do it, and I’m trying to be that person, but it’s getting harder and harder to find the motivation to try.

Idk why I’m rambling to you this. Feel free to delete the ask. Thanks for being an awesome beacon of light btw!

Hello anon! Thank you for sharing your story! I will first of all say - do NOT feel bad that it is hard to be a good person, or even just a kind person, or even just *not* a mean person, especially in a school environment. When you are in school, there are *so many* things you are trying to learn, both in your classes and socially, it is just too many things to balance to have all of that and also trying to always always always be a perfectly kind person. However...this is also your chance to begin practicing who you want to be. So, if you know you want to be a kind person and you still believe that is important to you, make it into a task that is small enough for you to handle. Maybe you can't be perfect 24/7! That's okay! Honestly nobody can! BUT! you can do things like say "from the hours of 1-2, i am just going to be kind and say sincerely nice things to my friends in a way that is just me being kind and not a joke" and see how it goes. That's one small way to start. Another thing you can do, and this is much harder, but very effective, is find people who *also* genuinely value being kind and good people. it is not easy! you dont get to choose who is in your class! but if you notice someone who does genuinely seem to feel the same way you do, it would probably make the whole task a lot easier if you have them as your friend so you can support eachother. Or even if that doesnt work! Find people online who feel that way! There is only so much in life we can control, and you DONT need to feel bad about the things that you cannot change. All you can do is take what is truly in your path and available to you, and do the best with it you can, even if that is only an hour a day a few days a week. I hope this helps! I wish you luck, anon!