#top 31 draculas

[twistedtummies2]

Christopher Lee: A Sinister Centenary - NUMBER ONE

Welcome to the last entry of Christopher Lee: A Sinister Centenary! Over the course of May, I have been counting down My Top 31 Favorite Performances by my favorite actor, the late, great Sir Christopher Lee, in honor of his 100th Birthday. Although this fine actor left us a few years ago, his legacy endures, and this countdown is a tribute to said legacy!

We’ve come to the finale of this special event. I’ve discussed Christopher Lee’s two favorite pictures, “Jinnah” and “The Wicker Man,” and I’ve discussed some of his most well-known characters, such as Saruman and Count Dooku. But today, we discuss my personal favorite Christopher Lee Performance…or rather, my favorite Christopher Lee Character: Count Dracula.

Who else could it be?

The Creature – Frankenstein’s Monster – was the role that officially put Christopher Lee on the map. It got the attention of Hammer studios, and made audiences curious…but if that had been Lee’s one standout role, I doubt he’d be as revered as he is today. A bit like how it took “Empire Strikes Back” to TRULY cement Darth Vader’s place in the annals of villainy, I think it is fair to say that it took “Horror of Dracula” to cement Christopher Lee as an actor. However, Lee really only got the part because of Frankenstein, and on closer inspection, this is clear: for most of the film, Dracula is not onscreen, and after the opening sequence with Jonathan Harker, he never speaks again for the remainder of the movie. Ironically, however, these same qualities were part of what made the character so fascinating: the mystery and the power Lee carried, doing so much with so little, made his Dracula instantly memorable, and from that moment on, his reputation was set in stone.

This was as much a blessing as a curse. Lee would, in the end, play Dracula a total of TEN TIMES in theatrical films: seven times for Hammer, once in the Jess Franco picture “Count Dracula,” once in a (bad) comedy/parody film called “Dracula and Son,” and once in a cameo appearance in the film “One More Time,” directed by Jerry Lewis and starring Sammy Davis Jr. (Not the place you’d usually expect Dracula to show up, but whatever.) On top of that, he would end up playing the real-life inspiration for the Count, Vlad Dracula, in a documentary entitled “In Search of Dracula.” And even THAT is not the end, as Lee would narrate an (abridged) audiobook of the Bram Stoker novel in 2009. Put it all together, and you can make a case for Lee tackling the Count a whole dozen times. Even if you only count the initial ten, that’s more than any actor has EVER played Dracula, at least in movies: that’s more than Bela Lugosi, Adam Sandler, and John Carradine COMBINED.

If you will pardon the expression…HOT. DAMN.

Carving out a name for himself as the King of the Vampires was something that Lee would always have something of a love/hate relationship with. On the one hand, Dracula was the role that brought him fame and recognition beyond any other, and to this day he is one of the most iconic and lauded interpreters of the character, especially through the Hammer Horror franchise. On the other hand…if we’re being completely honest, out of all ten of his film appearances as the Count, there are really only a couple that I would solidly and honestly consider to be good movies, with few major flaws to speak of. The rest all range from “okay” to “OH GOD WHAT IS THIS TRAVESTY MAKE IT STOP.” Lee, himself, was well-aware of the flaws in the material for most of his pictures, and as a fan of the Bram Stoker novel, he hated how the writers – especially with the Hammer features – never seemed to use the character to what he felt was their full potential.

Perhaps more important and tragic than the lackluster material, however, was what it did to Lee’s career, and it was this, above all else, that proved to be Lee’s ultimate bitter point with the role and the movies he was in for it: no matter what else he did, for decades upon decades, Lee – like the aforementioned Lugosi – was seen as Dracula. This lasted well into the modern day: while younger viewers of today will probably recognize him better for Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or his Tim Burton film appearances, the directors of those same movies never failed to remind Lee with jokes about his role as the Count…something which seemed to mildly frustrate the great man, even then. In fact, any time a director DIDN’T make a joke about Dracula, or only did it once, Lee would point this out as being something that endeared them to him. All the way to the end, the vampire lord dogged this man, and Lee’s commentary on his tenure was, for the most part, quite sour.

Having related all this, the ultimate question one must ask about Christopher Lee and Count Dracula is…why? Why, when the actor so clearly had resentment against so many of the films, and repeatedly stressed his desire to put that character aside and move on, did he keep coming back to it, again and again and again? With Hammer, Lee has gone on record saying he was basically blackmailed into doing most of those movies…but this doesn’t explain his appearances in the non-Hammer properties. And for all the bitterness he had, when Lee was actually asked about the CHARACTER, and his approach to the role as an actor, he always spoke of it fondly, with enthusiasm and analytical intensity.

I think the ultimate answer is that, for all the ups and downs Dracula provided Lee, it was, nevertheless, a role he legitimately cared about. He may not have liked the movies, but he liked the Count, and he was protective of the part. Even in the worst of his Dracula outings, he is always A+ in his delivery of whatever material he’s given. He took steps to try and inject something special into the character, when even the writers often clearly hadn’t the foggiest idea of what they were doing. And in every story you hear about the movies, in every clip from behind-the-scenes you see, he’s having fun. Whatever curse Dracula brought to Christopher Lee…perhaps the pains, in the end, were worth it. Lee may or may not have been proud to see Dracula take the top spot on this list…but it’s the spot his Dracula deserves.

Thank you all for joining me on this adventure through the wild and wonderful career of Sir Christopher Lee. What countdown shall I do next? Only time will tell. ;)

Once again, Happy Birthday, Sir Christopher. I hope that yourself, Peter Cushing, and Vincent Price are having fun up there in that big mystery movie in the sky.

[fandom]

Books

Huge congrats to The Iliad. It's only taken 3,000 years. This list is brought to you by Tor Publishing Group, which you're probably familiar with, given what tops the list this year.

The Locked Tomb series +3 by Tamsyn Muir

The Percy Jackson & the Olympians series -1 by Rick Riordan

The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

The Six of Crows duology +3 by Leigh Bardugo

Dracula -3 by Bram Stoker

The Warrior Cats series -1 by Erin Hunter

A Song of Ice and Fire -1 by George R. R. Martin

The All for the Game series by Nora Sakavic

The Discworld series +7 by Terry Pratchett

A Court of Thorns and Roses series +3 by Sarah J. Maas

The Silmarillion -1 by J. R. R. Tolkien

Pride And Prejudice -3 by Jane Austen

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

The Raven Cycle series +3 by Maggie Stiefvater

The Sun and the Star by Rick Riordan & Mark Oshiro

The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice

Wings Of Fire +9 by Tui T. Sutherland

The Secret History -7 by Donna Tartt

The Trials of Apollo series -4 by Rick Riordan

The Iliad +10 by Homer

The Odyssey +24 by Homer

The Folk in the Air series -8 by Holly Black

The Animorphs series +5 by K. A. Applegate

The Stormlight Archive +8 by Brandon Sanderson

Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney

Moby Dick +24 by Herman Melville

1984 +6 by George Orwell

Fables by Bill Willingham

The Diaries of Franz Kafka by Franz Kafka

The Song of Achilles -10 by Madeline Miller

The Last Hours series by Cassandra Clare

The Simon Snow series -10 by Rainbow Rowell

The Throne of Glass series +13 by Sarah J. Maas

Nimona by ND Stevenson

Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard +6 by Rick Riordan

The Bell Jar -15 by Sylvia Plath

The Dreamer trilogy +6 by Maggie Stiefvater

The Shadowhunter Chronicles -15 by Cassandra Clare

The Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone

Captive Prince -1 by C. S. Pacat

The Twilight Saga -7 by Stephanie Meyer

The Sandman by Neil Gaiman

The Deltora Quest series by Jennifer Rowe

Romeo and Juliet -8 by William Shakespeare

The Far Side by Gary Larson

Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde +2 by Robert Lewis Stevenson

Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson

The Picture of Dorian Gray -31 by Oscar Wilde

Good Omens by Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman

The number in italics indicates how many spots a title moved up or down from the previous year. Bolded titles weren’t on the list last year.

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Kaiju Week in Review (December 31, 2023-January 6, 2024)

Episode 9 of Monarch: Legacy of Monsters was a huge one, wrapping up the flashback storyline with gut punch after gut punch and dropping half the cast into a new realm of the Hollow Earth, Axis Mundi. I'm being vague because there's a very big twist at the end. Chomping at the bit for the finale.

@quazies has graced us with another animated Godzilla short, this one focusing on Rodan and wringing surprising emotion out of the daffy bird. And I continue to get a kick of out this Animal Crossing-esque Monster Island. This is their fourth Godzilla video; if you're unfamiliar with them, correct this immediately.

The new issue of TotalFilm has a sizable article on Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire. My notes:

Trapper (Dan Stevens) is a sort of Titan veterinarian.

Emphasis on filming in real places; the Hollow Earth is a mixture of Greenland, Iceland, Hawaii, and Australia. Also mentions some sort of physical Kong prop and another full-sized HEAV.

Apex isn't in this story "in a literal way," but Monarch seems to have copped some of their tech; Kong's B.E.A.S.T. Glove is implied to be one example. Sort of disappointing that the Monsterverse continues to avoid having a recurring human villain, but then it would've been hard to keep Apex in the picture, between the Mechagodzilla scandal and all their key members dying.

Rome is mentioned as a location in the film, which was reinforced this week with a Japanese trailer showing Godzilla astride the Colosseum prior to his evolution. As a half-Italian, I'm thrilled.

Wingard is aiming for late-Showa Godzilla vibes. Not possible on a nine-figure budget, says I, but I'm curious to see what he comes up with. Adds that he "wanted the color palette of the film to resemble the experience of what it was like to walk down a toy aisle in the 1980s[.]"

Wingard on Skar King: "[He's], in a way, the closest that the human threat has ever been juxtaposed onto a titan itself. The Skar King almost represents an upscaled version of the worst parts of humanity, just as Kong represents some of the best parts of humanity."

Now, about that cover... they're doing the bisexual lighting on purpose at this point, right?

The new Godzilla Battle Line units are Orga and Kiryu Kai (Heavy Arms Type). Orga's pretty fun, dropped into the arena by the Millennian UFO and respawning with half health once defeated. The new Kiryu is a major addition, dealing 30% more damage to units that cost 7 energy or more.

This is my first Kaiju Week in Review covering 2024; for a look back on all that happened in 2023 in kaiju film, television, and video games, I'll refer you to this excellent video by @zagorudan. @vintagehenshin has one out on indie tokusatsu as well.

This is a year ending in "4", so a lot of Godzilla movies have big anniversaries on the way. The biggest, of course, is Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla, turning 50 on March 21. Toho wasn't celebrating golden anniversaries in earnest when the other non-Godzilla members of the Big Five reaches theirs, so expect a Full Weapon Strike of merch, comics, and short films. We already know Mechagodzilla's in the next Godzilla Rivals issue, though not top-billed. Ultraman Leo, ESPY, Evil of Dracula, and Prophecies of Nostradamus also turn 50 this year.

[frankendykes-monster]

Countdown to Halloween 2023, Ranked

43. Swamp Thing (1982)

42. Curse of Bigfoot (1975)

41. The Haunting (1999)

40. Orca (1977)

39. Teenagers Battle The Thing (1958)

38. The Beast (1975)

37. Don't Go in The House (1979)

36. Countess Dracula (1971)

35. Hillbillys in a Haunted House (1967)

34. Beware! The Blob (1972)

33. Alien Space Avenger (1989)

32. Baby Blood (1990)

31. Shriek of The Mutilated (1974)

30. The Mutations (1974)

29. Phase IV (1974)

28. Curse of The Faceless Man (1958)

27. The Sadist (1963)

26. Jennifer (1978)

25. The Wasp Woman (1959)

24. Noroi: The Curse (2005)

23. Girls Nite Out (1982)

22. The Monster of Piedras Blancas (1959)

21. The Cat and The Canary (1927)

20. Tell Your Children (Reefer Madness, 1936)

19. The Company of Wolves (1984)

18. It's Alive (1974)

17. The Wolf House (2018)

16. Michael Jackson's Halloween (2017)

15. The Girl Who Knew Too Much (1963)

14. The Omega Man (1971)

13. Gamera: Rebirth (2023)

12. Student Bodies (1981)

11. Night Caller From Outer Space (1965)

10. Inhumanoids (episodes 1 - 5, 1986)

9. Blind Woman's Curse (1970)

8. Maniac (1980)

7. The Child (1977)

6. Zombie 3 (1988)

5. Return of The Living Dead (1985)

4. Spider Baby (1967)

3. Basket Case (1982)

2. Messiah of Evil (1973)

Godzilla (1954)

Woof. Okay. This has been a mostly disappointing viewing experience.

Critical difference between this year's countdown and the past two is that now that I have stable employment, there is far less time to be watching horror films. I normally begin the countdown in September but we started in July of this year and still barely managed to crack 40, with my original goal being a full 100 this year. Timing. As such a lot of my plans and possible viewings were cut short and compared to last year specifically we fell back on a lot of "seen it already" at least for the top of the list.

This year's batch of viewings were largely blah, but a step up from the shitshow I put myself through last year (watching nearly every Texas Chainsaw sequel does things to a person). As such it'll be difficult to conjure up words for a decent chunk of these mostly because yes, these movies exist, I watched them, I would not recommend that you yourself watch them. That is all. If I write briefly on a given film that's not necessarily an indictment of its quality as there a decent number of these that I saw and enjoyed it's just their impact might be a bit fleeting. You will know which ones I actively disliked. I mostly just want to write about the top five or so but I will play fair.

Our grand loser this year is Swamp Thing, the DC Comics adaptation by Wes Craven. I watched this pretty much entirely because I finally got the Alan Moore Swamp Thing run in paperback this year after quite some time of having it on my to-buy list. Longtime Rachael/Ray/Ratchet fans may recall me reading it in early 2019 alongside [REDACTED]. Still one of the best Moore comics, and a second volume of Swamp Thing wouldn't have been possible without the success of this film. For context I did read the early Swampies by Len Wein and Bernie Wrightson and my general reaction to those was a'ight but there was definitely material for a serviceable film adaptation there. This is not that serviceable film adaptation. I'm not hung up on details like how Abigail has no connection to Arcane now despite being his niece in the comics, but this film is just kind of painful in how relatively unambitious it is which is saying something for Swamp Thing sword fighting another human mutation at the end of this. It's just silly and stupid and not scary or awe inspiring or anything, the Swamp Thing suit sucks, the action sucks, any sense of pathos is not there or gone, it stretches for 30 minutes too long like it's a padded TV pilot, the only highlight is being able to see Adrienne Barbeau's breasts. Fuck this it's a miserable experience to sit through. My mistake for watching a Wes Craven film that doesn't have "Scream" in the title.

Our next shitter is the two-for-one abomination that is Teenagers Battle The Thing (1958) and Curse of Bigfoot (1975); these are the same movie except Curse of Bigfoot has a 25 minute opening scene framing device that is bizarre given that "The Thing" of the original film is a Native American mummy of some sort unearthed by a group of white high school students. It's the rare personal pet project movie made for fun by some locals but the only highlights are the occasional kill scene, Curse of Bigfoot ranks lower just for making me sit through it longer. Blah.

Speedrunning through a bunch of these because theyre all varying degrees of bad and I don't want to spend any longer writing about these than you probably do reading about them: The Haunting is awful and I don't even super care for the original film so adding shitty CGI monsters and a moral lesson of "it's about family!" doesn't help. Orca is a shitty Jaws cash-in that's like a reverse Moby Dick where the sea animal hunts down the human, nice finale where the orca and shitty poacher guy are fighting it out in the Arctic but otherwise avoid. Don't Go in The House is a mysoginistic torture porn movie that really doesn't sell the "seemingly normal guy is a closet nutcase" thing even though movies made before and after have done it well (see Maniac several paragraphs below). The Beast is advertised as this really scandalous porno film but most of it is French aristocrats sitting around in stuffy rooms arguing about real estate. I think I only watched Countess Dracula for its inclusion in the "if this is her vibe I would fucking cum" meme and it's barely worth bringing up at all. Hillbillys in a Haunted House has an absolutely lovely Tennessee country soundtrack that I wish I could listen to without having to watch the actual movie which is devoid of both scares and laughs. Beware! The Blob gives off the feeling of sitting at a funeral for a family member that was just distant enough for you to be aware of them but not actually be upset but it's still a funeral so it's not like you're smiling, stick with the 1988 Blob film. Alien Space Avenger has some decent gore effects but that's all I can recall from it. Shriek of The Mutilated has one of the best titles for an otherwise uninspired yeti movie that has a needless third act twist about it being a cover for a cult and blah blah blah fuck you. Baby Blood has an alien mutant whatever crawl up a woman's vagina into her womb and she has to eat people to feed it and yeah I'm actually struggling to remember what happens here. The Mutations has a scene where a guy cuts into a tree and it bleeds, I think he's played by Donald Pleasance. Yeah, it's like Freaks except it plays to the freak show straight so you get to laugh at all the outcasts of society, no thank you.

Some odds and ends that I'd say are decent-to-pretty-good: Phase IV has some footage of ants and synth music. All you need is some footage of ants and synth music. Curse of The Faceless Man employs a rarely seen archetype of the living statue monster, it's cute. The Sadist is another starring vehicle for Arch Hall Jr., who was also the star of last Halloween's Eegah! (1962), though this film is a bold trendsetter for the 1960's with Hall being a unhinged killer holding people for ransom until they can fix his car and he can make a getaway. The film lives and dies by Hall's performance and it's mostly the latter until we get to an absolutely superb final act with him hunting down his remaining victims, it makes the whole film worth seeing. Jennifer is an oddball that plays out mostly like a character drama ("It wasn't my fault Daddy it was that stupid hillbilly bitch Jennifer") that suddenly remembers that it's supposed to be a cash-in of Carrie (1976) in the last 20 minutes and cue our titular character being able to summon and control snakes to send after her tormentors. Girls Nite Out is a plodding meandering slasher that's oddly hypnotizing considering so much of it takes place in pitch-black night and the killer is wearing a bear mascot costume with serrated knives hidden under the glove, not sure what fully to make of it. The Monster of Piedras Blancas is made up of leftover parts from the Gillman, Mole People, and Metaluna Mutant, but still manages to star in a decent enough film that gives a sense of what a series of monster attacks would do to a small seaside community. The Cat and The Canary is "cute" for lack of a better term being a horror comedy before the former genre had fully crystalized. Reefer Madness is horror adjacent more than anything but a hilariously good time about how the use of "marihuana" will drive today's youth into becoming crazed fiends and get involved in organized crime.

We can do this.

The Company of Wolves has an excellent story book like setting an atmosphere that you can't get in films nowadays and it's a shame that it's mostly remembered for its transformation sequences. it's Alive is the best Larry Cohen film by default of not sucking but it's still not "great", genius however for playing the concept of mutant newborn killer baby completely seriously without any sense of humor to the proceedings. The Girl Who Knew Too Much is almost a parody of giallo films which is interesting given those hadn't fully sprang up in 1963; absolute highlight is the main character being interviewed in bed by doctors and reporters and the like that yes she did see a murder and no she doesn't drink. I've always been fascinated and haunted by I Am Legend and while The Omega Man doesn't really capture the novel to a superb degree it's so beautifully shot that it lands high in the rankings for that alone. Night Caller From Outer Space is hilarious to me because of how it shifts halfway through from a Hammer-esque mystery about a meteorite with radioactive properties to a film about an alien that lures women in through a modeling advertisement. Blind Woman's Curse I've mentally confused with Irezumi for a while now (haha all 1960's Japanese genre films where woman have large animal tattoos on their backs are the saaame), and it's one I mostly watched for being directed by Teruo Ishii, but there's enough bloody yakuza fights and cats licking up blood for me to stick around; not the strongest Meiko Kaiji vehicle compared to Female Prisoner Scorpion or Lady Snowblood. Maniac I find mostly interesting as a precursor to American Psycho (2000) but also it's probably the only serious film to successfully pull off it's ending trope (which I will not spoil here). The Child is an absolutely lovely 1970's only-a-dozen-people-made-this-and-not-much-more-watched-it horror that oozes atmosphere, I could watch stuff like this all day. Aaand Zombie 3 is far and away the best film that Lucio Fulci has been involved with that I've ever seen. I love random scenes and set pieces of ghouls just massacring people that are shit out out of luck.

Okay, now for the ones I actually want to write about.

The Wasp Woman is one that sticks in my head way more than any other random monster movie that Roger Corman directed in the latw 1950's. I've said on here and Letterboxd that it could have served as a standard pop-feminist piece about how the cosmetology industry is built on misogyny and invariably a monster is accidentally created because of that, but this most recent viewing has made me sort of "get it" because that might be what the film is going for considering Susan Cabot's performance leads me to believe that she is aware that she is becoming a homicidal wasp monster but views it as a tragic means to an end where she still has the ability to have a new advertising campaign with her as the star. Tragic. This is why you don't wear make up.

Both Noroi: The Curse and The Wolf House are ones I didn't care for whatsoever but I put them in places on the ranking that I thought were fair given that people should probably watch them regardless of my personal thoughts. Noroi's format didn't really lend itself to the escalation of tension and reveal of information that the plot demanded and I found myself thinking it meanders quite a bit. The Wolf House was an odd one where everything that was happening onscreen bounced off of me mostly because I felt intimately aware that I was watching a movie, that someone had made something and that I was now being shown it. Blah. People like these so don't let me stop you.

Our animated offerings this year...

Michael Jackson's Halloween more than anything feels like an unlicensed creation that later had an English fan dub commissioned, not something that actually aired on CBS twice. Any laughs that I found in this thing were the unintentional type as we open up with Bubbles talking and being Jackson's chauffeur; you know exactly what you're getting into. Very little of the plot is explained but I'm assuming Jackson (who has no lines given this was made posthumously) orchestrates a dark fantasy adventure to hook two...teenagers? People in their late 20's? And convince them to follow their dreams of performing instead of working a deadend dayjob. I'm not sure who the actual audience for this was given it feels like so much of it was made for children but I will say anything that has this much of Michael Jackson's music in it can't be all bad, though I'm not sure why they didn't largely stick with tracks from the album Thriller (in the contention for best album ever, I don't care).

Gamera: Rebirth is one I feel like I'm on the outside on compared to most other tokusatsu fans because I didn't really *love* to a serious degree even though, yes, Gamera is finally back. The first three episodes are mostly just kind of a slog for me with the backhalf not doing enough to retroactively make me think highly of it, though giving off End of Evangelion vibes may make me consider that a second viewing must be in order down the line. Rebirth's strongest attribute is that it feels like it takes into consideration and influence from every prior era of Gamera, no stone is left unturned, and it's a marked contrast from how every recent Godzilla property only captures a single facet of their respective character. But that also creates unique issues like how a lot of criticism of ongoing US military presence in Japan is undercut so there can be a white kid in the main cast (because white children were always present in half of the Showa series) or having the ancient civilization that genetically engineered the kaiju now being malicious and actively sacrificing children as a means of reshaping the world gives me vaguely anti-semitic tones, I don't know, Gamera is still here, I guess.

"I was just a little twerp who liked Scooby-Doo and Smurfs, now I was viewing Cthulhu mutants ruin the Earth."

Everyday that we have Inhumanoids is a gift. Inhumanoids is another Hasbro/Sunbow production like G. I. Joe, Transformers, or Jem and The Holograms, and it is truly tragic that it never got anywhere near that level of attention compared to its siblings. The fact that a 1980's action figure tie-in cartoon is named for its antagonists is only the start; the series follows a small paramilitary outfit of scientists named Earth Core that are tasked with more or less saving the world alongside the Mutores, elemental beings, when the Inhumanoids, eldritch abominations, are unleashed. The degree of world-building beyond your typical "good guys vs. bad guys" affair is astounding with villainous humans and virtuous monsters abounding, but Inhumanoids is mostly magical and remembered for saying fuck all to any type of broadcast standards. Seeing giant monsters destroy cities, undead armies, and spelunking deep into the Earth (where nightmares begin...) are just standard fair here, as are witnessing the actual Inhumanoids such as Metlar (basically the devil) or D'Compose (giant undead entity that can zombify people by touching them and uses his ribcage like a jail cell) in action. The first five episodes here are the pilot movie of sorts for the series which only lasted thirteen overall, and they get more grissly from here on out, but maybe it's best that Inhumanoids is the short lived cartoon and no the cartoon that went soft as early as its second season. I will never not love this show, to this day it's one of my favorite animated series from any decade, much less the 1980's.

Back to our regularly scheduled live-action programming...

Student Bodies is a fascinating film for a myriad of reasons the first of which is that there were somehow enough slasher films by 1981 for there to be a comedy poking fun at all the already established genre-cliches. It's essentially Scary Movie (2000) a full 20 years ahead of the curve only actually funny in spite of the subject matter frequently being as juvenile and prejudiced; but it also reminds me quite a bit of Scream (1996) with stuff like two killers working together. All I know is I was in for a decent time when the film opens with three identical shots of a house just with different framing text: "HALLOWEEN," "FRIDAY THE 13TH," "JAMIE LEE CURTIS' BIRTHDAY" and then the killer, The Breather, calls the opening kill girl doing nothing but breathing heavily, she hangs up, he calls back with "I SAID [heavy breathing]."

Return of The Living Dead is one of those films that should have destroyed the any artifically-imposed boundaries between "high" and "low" art. Every aspect of this film is brilliantly made, it just so happens to be made for stuff like Scooby-Doo music overlaid on top of thunderstorms over graveyards where one female character is stripping to the concept of dying. Media involving ghouls is incredibly oversaturated, and this was still the case in the 1980's where a film like this had to redefine the rules to make it so killing ghouls was basically a non-option. It only recently struck me on this viewing that that's the whole purpose of removing virtually all weaknesses they have, to keep the characters as the nail instead of the hammer. Compared to the Romero films, there's never a point where anyone is in control of the situation, it just escalates further and further until there is literally no way out. Taking that into consideration, there's no way this film couldn't have been a comedy that frames people getting swarmed and eaten by ghouls as hilarious.

The soundtrack and the faux-punk sensibilities lend this a daft feeling of "you shouldn't be watching this" in spite of it not being one of the MOST gory horror films of the 1980's. I still don't get how this never broke into the mainstream. I mean somehow people know that ghouls (in this film) speak and only eat brains but I can't go down to Target and get a Tarman action figure like I can one of Michael Myers. As such Return of The Living Dead remains a criminally overlooked film regardless of its subject matter. It's made me laugh and cringe and feel disgusted and revolt at the concept at dying but mostly it's made me feel a delicious sense of joy at seeing corpses rise out of the ground to the tune of "Do you wanna party? IT'S PARTY TIIIME!" Some of you need to sit in the corner and think about your life choices for making stupid shit like Re-Animator (1985) or fucking Shaun of The Dead (2004) more popular than this, fuck you.

The act of watching Spider Baby is like discovering the missing link. For as much as 1960 gave us an explosion of horror (Eyes Without a Face, The Ship of Monsters, Psycho, Jigoku, Black Sunday, etc.) and Night of The Living Dead (1968) reins as the perennial transition point of the genre, Spider Baby is the road by which we go from The Cat and The Canary and The Old Dark House to the likes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Eraserhead, it's magical finding an essential piece of a genre you love so much. Both the former and latter points of comparison are apt as a family of now only children [and their butler] suffering from Poe-esque hereditary illness have their condemned house set upon by distant relatives and everything slowly unravels.

Lon Chaney Jr. is an actor who for the longest time I felt never got a proper chance to shine wherein the last 25 years or so of his career was spent playing as side character actor in independent films. Spider Baby is his crowning achievement. Seeing him smile through almost tears on several occasions as he has to play bridge between worlds of sanity and madness and lie to everyone that he has some sense of control over the situation is brilliant in ways I always knew he was capable of but had never seen before this point. Bravo.

I will never not love Basket Case with everything I've got. This is the epitome of 1980's horror and my clear pick for best of the decade. It has everything from being a grungy putrid grindhouse spectacle to being an intimate character drama to everything presented through a wry ironic lense where you can't tell if any "bad" performances are all done on purpose. Between this, Brain Damage (1988), and Frankenhooker (1990), there is literally absolutely no reason why Frank Henenlotter shouldn't be more popular than Stuart Gordon, Brian Yuzna, and Lloyd Kaufman *combined*. It's tragic that the world of cinema being enclosed and captured by studios again in the late 1980's prevented us from getting more from him, but realistically could we ask anymore than what we already got from Basket Case? I could watch this every day and never grow tired of it. I will never stop making more and more people watch this.

If Basket Case is the apex of 1980's horror, then Messiah of Evil is the same for 1970's horror. This is one of the most efficient horror films ever made in how not a single frame is wasted, the opening scene is literally a guy running from unseen force, seeking refuge, getting his throat slit, cue title card with synth music that then leads us to a sunburnt hallway as our narrator descends into acceptance of complete lack of control of the situation. Every night shot in this film must be 50 - 75% completely black with whatever headlight or store front there is just making the scenery look like a dollhouse that our characters are trapped inside. There's so many shots of people running away or walking down streets that make them look tiny as the camera is so far.

Every scene is an exercise in building up dread. There's no point where the film relents, something awful is not only coming, it's already here and there's nothing anyone can do. What I love particularly is that the mystery being laid out doesn't offer any answers because there's another mystery on top of what our characters find out only too late. Layers upon layers of dread that even the titular Messiah of Evil isn't the center of. The world is a cruel fucking place where this film languishes in obscurity whilst shit like The Exorcist enjoys mainstream attention. A lot of my taste amounts to "why isn't this thing I like more popular" and cases like Messiah of Evil vindicate me.

"Godzilla is the son of the atomic bomb. He is a nightmare created out of the darkness of the human soul. He is the sacred beast of the apocalypse." - Tomoyuki Tanaka

Generally a yearly trend is that a #1 pick for Halloween is self-evident to me and this year it was Basket Case for all of 30 seconds until I picked Godzilla back up.

There's something to be said how Godzilla isn't quite a horror monster? Terrifying but not necessarily creepy, but what power do things that go bump in the night have against the destruction of everything you know? Everytime I watch Godzilla is like the very first time, when flashing lights out at sea destroy fishing ships I have no idea what happened, or at least any much of a clue as anyone in film does when we're told that the entire ocean exploded.

Godzilla is a reptile, but lacks scales and its entire body is coated in keloid scars. In 1954 Godzilla must have been the largest monster every committed to film, trains are derailed from running against its ankle and bell and radio towers are throttled for being a sensory inconvenience. Godzilla's first on-screen appearance on Odo Island is obscured by a hurricane but the impression is clear; you can't fight Godzilla in the same way you can't fight a natural disaster. When Tokyo is reduced to complete ruin amidst a sea of flames, it's an onslaught of destruction never before seen in a film of this genre. Survivors being afflicted with radiation poisoning shows that Godzilla will claim victims long after being driven back to sea.

There's a sheer apocalyptic dread to all of this sensed by all the characters. Love tries to exist on the edge of annihilation. There's nothing that can be done but persevere and maybe hope tomorrow will be better. A scene that always strikes me is when Serizawa is adamant about not using the Oxygen Destroyer until forcibly confronted with the results of one night of Godzilla making landfall in Japan. The absolute pain felt by everyone in the finale starts here, things couldn't play out any differently as the "scientist of the century" can't join in and celebrate his victory.

Godzilla is a rare perfect film. I will never tire of it.

[baubeautyandthegeek]

Birthday Bingo Madness

Prompt related details: Family is designed to be vague to fit whatever you feel you want to write where Family Values is more fixed on who teaches their family things or people who taught your chosen character something. The Loose Rules: Submissions can be anything written for example : a ficlet, headcanons, drabbles, one shot, whatever you want.   Fics can be a ship, a reader insert, an OC, basically whatever you want. Any/all fandoms we share welcomed, but here’s some ideas; - FBI - CSI (All variants) - Law & Order (All variants) - Criminal Minds - Star Trek - Star Wars - Blue Bloods - NCIS - Dracula 2000 The     Firm Rules:         You must tag me @baubeautyandthegeek and use the hashtag #flickbirthdaybingo35     on each creation  Bingo     begins May 6th  And ends the same day a     year from now.  Please     only post one creation each day. And only one square per creation on each     board.  No     underage characters/readers/oc's in sexual or romantic situations please.  Anything     that gets to over 1000 words should be under a read more.  Please     use appropriate tags and trigger warnings  Ensure     trigger tags are also shown at the top of fics         Please do ask if you have any other questions

Prompts under the cut if you can’t see the boards:

My Current Top 35 Characters: 1. Elle Greenaway 2. Emily Prentiss 3. Erin Strauss 4. JJ Jareau 5. Penelope Garcia 6. Alex Blake 7. Kate Callahan 8. Tara Lewis 9. Ashley Seaver 10. Kate Joyner 11. Katie Cole 12. Clara Seger 13. Abi Borin 14. Holly Snow 15. Hollis Mann 16. Jenny Shepard 17. Kate Todd 18. Abby Scuito 19. Kasie Hines 20. Sarah Porter 21. Alex Cabot 22. Casey Novak 23. Melinda Warner 24. Kim Greylek 25. Dani Beck 26. Connie Rubirosa 27. Serena Southerlyn 28. Alex Eames 29. Serena Stevens 30. Zoe Callas 31. Megan Wheeler 32. Jackie Curatola 33. Erin Reagan 34. Isobel Castille 35. Marisol Delko 35 Smut Prompts: 1. Daddy Kink 2. Mommy Kink 3. Spanking 4. Breathplay 5. Lingerie 6. Choking 7. Consensual Somnophilia 8. Biting 9. Marking 10. Collaring 11. Scratching 12. Vibrators 13. Strap-Ons 14. Tied Down 15. Cuffed Down 16. Mild Flogging 17. Begging 18. Body Worship 19. Dirty Talk 20. Praise Kink 21. First Time Together 22. Virginity 23. Light Whipping 24. BDSM 25. Dom/Sub Dynamics 26. Alpha/Omega Dynamics 27. Fingering 28. Oral 29. Professor/Student Kink 30. Uniforms 31. Suit Kink 32. Blindfolds 33. Temperature Play 34. Delayed Orgasm 35. Multiple Orgasms 35 Random Prompts: 1. Vampire AU 2. Werewolf AU 3. Hurt/Comfort 4. Losing A Child 5. Losing A Loved One 6. First Kiss 7. Workplace Romance 8. Soulmate AU 9. College/School AU 10. Model/Photographer AU 11. “I miss you” 12. “I thought I’d lost you” 13. “Please come home.” 14. “Marry me?”

15. Gunshot Wounds

16. “Why are you bleeding?”

17. “Kiss me!”

18.  Secret Romance AU

19. Celebrity AU

20. First Fight

21. “Bring the fucking fight box… I’m not losing you over this.”

22. Polyamory

23. Poison

24. Crying

25. Movie Night

26. Family Values

27. Family

28. Birthday Party

29. “Birthday Girl”

30. Wedding

31. “My wife…. Still not over that.”

32.  Honeymoon

33.  Sickfic

34.  Accidental Baby/Pet Aquisition

35. “What did I tell you about breaking the law???” “I didn’t…”

[mogwai-movie-house]

The 100 Best Films of the 1930s

The most magical decade in all of cinema, ranked and rated high-to-low:

1. City Lights (1931) ★★★★★★★★★★ 2. It Happened One Night (1934) ★★★★★★★★★★ 3. Duck Soup (1933) ★★★★★★★★★★ 4. The Invisible Man (1933) ★★★★★★★★★★ 5. The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1939) ★★★★★★★★★★ 6. The Wizard of Oz (1939) ★★★★★★★★★★ 7. The 39 Steps (1935) ★★★★★★★★★★ 8. The Smiling Lieutenant (1931) ★★★★★★★★★★ 9. Ninotchka (1939) ★★★★★★★★★★ 10. The Cat and the Canary (1939) ★★★★★★★★★★ 11. Horse Feathers (1932)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   12. Frankenstein (1931) ★★★★★★★★★☆   13. Pygmalion (1938) ★★★★★★★★★☆   14. The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   15. My Man Godfrey (1936)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   16. Animal Crackers (1930)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   17. Monkey Business (1931)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   18. A Night at the Opera (1935)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   19. The Lady Vanishes (1938)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   20. The Thin Man (1934)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   21. Top Hat (1935) (1935)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   22. The Most Dangerous Game (1932)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   23. The Port of Shadows (1938)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   24. The Scarlet Pimpernel (1934)  ★★★★★★★★★☆      25. Love Me Tonight (1932)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   26. The Merry Widow (1934)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   27. One Hour with You (1932)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   28. Trouble in Paradise (1932)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   29. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   30. Nothing Sacred (1937)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   31. Oliver the Eighth (1934)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   32. Midnight (1939)  ★★★★★★★★★☆  33. Towed in a Hole (1932)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   34. Gone with the Wind (1939)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   35. Bride of Frankenstein (1935)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   36. La Grande Illusion (1937)  ★★★★★★★★★☆   37. Boudu Saved from Drowning (1932)   ★★★★★★★★½☆     38. La Chienne (1931)   ★★★★★★★★½☆     39. The Petrified Forest (1936)  ★★★★★★★★½☆   40. M (1931)   ★★★★★★★★½☆   41. King Kong (1933)   ★★★★★★★★½☆           42. The Man Who Could Work Miracles (1936)    ★★★★★★★★☆☆ 43. Pépé le Moko (1937) ★★★★★★★★☆☆   44. Topper (1937)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   45. Tarzan the Ape Man (1932)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   46. Queen Christina (1933)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   47. Freaks (1932)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   48. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   49. The Music Box (1932)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   50. All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   51. Modern Times (1936)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   52. Baby Face (1933)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   53. The Miracle Woman (1931)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   54. The Awful Truth (1937)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   55. The Scarlet Empress (1934)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   56. Young and Innocent (1937)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   57. Jewel Robbery (1932)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   58. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   59. Way Out West (1937)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   60. A Tale of Two Cities (1935)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   61. Ruggles of Red Gap (1935)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   62. Island of Lost Souls (1932)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   63. The Gay Divorcee (1934)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   64. Busy Bodies (1933)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   65. History Is Made at Night (1937)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   66. Stagecoach (1939)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   67. Morocco (1930)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   68. Bringing Up Baby (1938)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   69. Marie Antoinette (1938)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   70. Dracula (1931)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   71. Bizarre, Bizarre (1937)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   72. Let's Make a Dream (1936)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   73. I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang (1932)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   74. Wuthering Heights (1939)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   75. Grand Hotel (1932)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   76. L'Age d'Or (1930)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   77. The Hound of the Baskervilles (1939)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   78. Blonde Bombshell (1933)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   79. Scarface (1932)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   80. Under the Roofs of Paris (1930)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   81. À Nous la Liberté (1931)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   82. Block-Heads (1938)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   83. Public Enemy (1931)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   84. Destry Rides Again (1939)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   85. Lady for a Day (1933)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   86. Charlie Chan at Treasure Island (1939)   ★★★★★★★★☆☆   87. A Star Is Born (1937)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   88. Shanghai Express (1932)  ★★★★★★★★☆☆   89. The Sign of The Cross (1932)  ★★★★★★★½☆☆       90. Christine (1937)  ★★★★★★★½☆☆     91. Platinum Blonde (1931) ★★★★★★★½☆☆   92. Sabotage (1936)  ★★★★★★★☆☆☆   93. Kongo (1932)  ★★★★★★★☆☆☆   94. Lost Horizon (1937)  ★★★★★★★☆☆☆   95. The Old Dark House (1932)  ★★★★★★★☆☆☆   96. Design for Living (1933)  ★★★★★★★☆☆☆   97. The Blue Angel (1930)  ★★★★★★★☆☆☆   98. The Man Who Knew Too Much (1934)  ★★★★★★★☆☆☆   99. Death Takes a Holiday (1934)  ★★★★★★★☆☆☆   100. The Story of Temple Drake (1933)  ★★★★★★★☆☆☆  

[red-umbrella-811]

2023 Tumblr Top 10

1. 351 notes - Jan 9 2023

This one’s for all my friends on here with problems. If you’re having a trauma or anxiety episode, if you’re thinking about...

2. 335 notes - Mar 10 2023

Are you going to do Dracula Daily again this year? Hell yes!!! No, once was enough I didn’t do it last year but I want to do it...

3. 326 notes - Jan 16 2023

New relationship term dropped; Partner and sweetie are out, intimate friend and associate is in.

4. 238 notes - Jul 25 2023

“All novels are, or should be, written for both men and women to read, and I am at a loss to conceive how a man should permit...

5. 177 notes - Feb 9 2023

All 19th century men know is run out and run in, smoke incessantly, play snatches on the violin, sink into reveries, devour...

6. 67 notes - Jun 18 2023

7. 64 notes - Jun 8 2023

8. 50 notes - Sep 25 2023

9. 48 notes - Jan 31 2023

10. 45 notes - Feb 8 2023

I gotta say, the whole situation so far, possibly the whole novel, could have been avoided if Basil Hallward had just decided to...

Created by TumblrTop10

[mari-m-rose]

I was tagged by alemanriq (a lot of time ago...I'm revising my drafts. Thanks tho, Ale! ♥)

Tag the person who tagged you and let them know when you’ve finished. (I'm not doing this, tagging people gives me anxiety)

Answer the questions/tasks and then tag 20 people and let them know they’ve been tagged

1. How tall are you? 1.58 m

2. What color and style is your hair? Dark brown and straight

3. Which color are your eyes? Dark brown, almost black

4. Do you wear glasses or contacts? I used to wear glasses but I never got used to them so I dropped them, didn't need them that much.

5. Do you wear braces? I should but I'm not.

6. What’s your fashion style? I like formal attire or close to formal: coats, boots, shirts and jeans, maybe a sweater but a thin one. Dresses in summer.

7. What is your name? Mariana, but I prefer to be called Mari

8. When were you born? 21st December 1990

9. How old are you? 32

10. Where are you from/live now? Perú

11. Do you have any siblings and what are their names? Older brother

12. What school/college do you go to? Graduated at the supposedly best uni in Perú but not actually.

13. What kind of student are you? In uni I was a bad a student, like a bit bellow average. In high school I was a very good student most of my life.

14. Do you even like school? I loathed high school. I liked most of my uni years, more because of friends, less because of learning.

15. What are your favorite subjects? Literature, art, music, language, english, french, biology, art history.

16. What are your favourite tv shows? Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul are amazing shows. As for anime, my fave are Yu Yu Hakusho, HunterxHunter 2011, Akatsuki no Yona, Re:Zero, Digimon tamers/02 and those are all I can remember right now.

17. What are your favourite movies? I adore Pride and Prejudice (basic I know), but in general I tend to adore horror movies more like Midsommar, Hereditary and zombie movies in general.

18. What are your favorite books? Dracula, uh... polemyc I know but I will always say HP series and ...I can't remember any other one rn tbh.

19. What is your favourite pass time? Playing videogames but also organizing stuff and fixing stuff around the house

20. Do you have any regrets? Majoring in graphic design.

21. What’s your dream job? character designer...and if I learn how to draw/shade/color better: illustrator.

22. Would you like to get married one day and where? I did get married, I think the places were nice. It was a beautiful church with a gothic design and the reception was in a house on the country side. The house had a vintage colonial style and it was pretty elegant, the garden with the pool looked nice and the decor me and husband chose was top notch.

23. Would you like to have kids one day and how many? I don't earn enough money to have kids but if I got money I would have 2 kids.

24. Are you a girly girl, a regular girl, or more of a tomboy? I was a regular one most of my life? Kinda like comfy type and no make-up. Now I'm girly, I want all the pink and all the make up!

25. Do you like shopping? Just the right amount of time but yeah.

27. What is the most scariest nightmare you’ve ever had? Some guys entered my family home and killed everyone. I even remember feeling the bullet in my stomach and the blood coming out of me before I woke up.

28. Do you have enemies? I have no enemies.

29. Who are your best friends? I'm not so sure, I'm insecure in this field. I used to think I had 3, but idk anymore.

30. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend and what is their name? Husband and he doesn't like his info to be disclosed so I won't name him.

31. What is the biggest lie you have ever told anyone? I'm not a good liar.

32. Do you believe in miracles? Yes

Put your music on shuffle and write down 30 songs that come up without skipping. (How about just 5) 1. Almost Home - mxmtoon 2. That's What I like - Bruno Mars 3. Golden Time Lover - Sukima Switch 4. Helena - My Chemical Romance 5. This is Love - Utada Hikaru

This is the part where you tag 20 people! As for me, if you read this you are tagged! You can tag me if u fill this btw, my anxiety only goes one way.

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

I posted 7,797 times in 2022

3,394 posts created (44%)

4,403 posts reblogged (56%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@imissthembutitwasntadisaster

@swinging-stars-from-satellites

@mariposasmonarch

@contagiousgrace

@distance-does-not-matter

I tagged 5,918 of my posts in 2022

Only 24% of my posts had no tags

#taylor swift - 212 posts

#tvd - 128 posts

#to save - 122 posts

#mcr - 98 posts

#dracula daily - 91 posts

#midnights - 83 posts

#the bear - 80 posts

#teen wolf - 78 posts

#fma - 68 posts

#swearing - 65 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i'd be so interested in hearing reasons for this but if it's purely based off vibes these are lovely vibes thank you i'll treasure it 💖💖

I sent 2 gifts in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Well well well if it isn't the consequences (dishes) of my own actions (baking)

11,563 notes - Posted May 31, 2022

#4

The only true constant on this earth is reading a deeply disturbing short story when you were like 12 and being forever traumatized by it, every single human being has undergone this I'm sure

20,585 notes - Posted March 11, 2022

#3

Literally all I want to do is write something that makes people insane and maybe scream silently over it like is that so much to ask

22,318 notes - Posted April 21, 2022

#2

100k slowburn but it’s just two people going from work friends to real friends

26,933 notes - Posted October 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

“how long have we been mutuals” I don’t know. forever. three minutes. since before the world began. 

29,447 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ordinarydoodles]

I posted 69 times in 2022

That's 67 more posts than 2021!

36 posts created (52%)

33 posts reblogged (48%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@paper-lilypie

@ordinarydoodles

@twinanimatronics

@spaciebabie

@madame-mongoose

I tagged 69 of my posts in 2022

#my art - 31 posts

#danny phantom - 14 posts

#personal stuff - 8 posts

#fnaf sb - 5 posts

#wes weston - 5 posts

#my doodles - 5 posts

#my writing - 3 posts

#mortified - 3 posts

#mermay - 3 posts

#solar lunacy - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i am praising you for letting me know of this shirt i am cursing cruel fate that i cannot get it i am camping out on your living room floor

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Ten years later, the Danny/Vlad rivalry is just like

1,479 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

#4

Jonathan: Do they drink blood? Dracula: Yes, actually.

(original here)

1,628 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

#3

Wes would upload either the most amazing or most horrible videos ever, with absolutely no in-between.

3,401 notes - Posted January 30, 2022

#2

You heard the man.

4,120 notes - Posted December 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I like Celestial Omens (that really like fishsticks) by @bamsara a normal amount

5,510 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[twistedtummies2]

Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes - NUMBER ONE

HAPPY EASTER! TIME TO CELEBRATE WITH THE MOST NON-EASTER-Y THING EVER! Welcome, everybody, for the final entry of “A Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes!” Throughout this month-long event, I’ve been counting down my Top 31 Favorite Fictional Detectives, from movies, television, literature, video games, and more! We’ve finally come to the end of March, and the time has come to unveil my topmost personal pick.

SLEUTH-OF-THE-DAY’S QUOTE: “Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

NUMBER ONE IS…Sherlock Holmes.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s most famous creation is one of the most frequently adapted, reimagined, and referenced characters in the history of English literature. I think the only other pieces of literature who can compete are Bram Stoker’s “Dracula” and possibly Lewis Carroll’s “Alice” stories. Therefore, while so many other characters have carried the title in their universes of “the World’s Greatest Detective,” it’s no surprise most people still associate that phrase with Holmes, and it’s no surprise that Holmes takes the top spot. Through sheer universal appeal and constant reinvention, he’s clearly earned the rank. If Edgar Allan Poe invented the modern detective story with C. Auguste Dupin, then Doyle’s Holmes perfected the formula, and created the icon that pretty much every famous detective character since then has tried to emulate or push against since then.

It's not entirely clear WHY Conan Doyle made Holmes. I’ve heard multiple different accounts and explanations for how the concept came into Doyle’s mind, and what prompted him to create the great detective. However, if the reasons for his creation are unclear, what IS clear are Holmes’ origins. Doyle was chiefly inspired by a former teacher of his, Dr. Joseph Bell; a slightly eccentric surgeon who was one of the first forensic experts in history, and would eventually gain some recognition when helping the police on the infamous Jack the Ripper case. (He also may have taken some inspiration, according to at least one source, from the real-life Scotland Yard Inspector Richard Tanner, who worked on the slightly-less-well-known Franz Muller case - the first recorded murder committed aboard a train.) Mingling this inspiration with various unique qualities that seemed to stem from his own imagination, Doyle created the ultimate detective: the first Private Consulting Detective in fiction, and easily the most renowned.

It is humorous, in hindsight, to then realize that Doyle didn’t actually care that much for Holmes, overall. A bit like Agatha Christie with her own much later creation, Hercule Poirot, Doyle came to feel dissatisfied with Holmes. This wasn’t so much because of Sherlock’s personality or motivations, but simply because Doyle saw the Holmes stories more as a sort of lucrative hobby than anything else; he sensed that other works of his, which he felt far more passionately about, were being sidelined by this strange gumshoe. Doyle, like Christie, attempted to kill off Holmes…but unlike with Christie and Poirot, Doyle could not keep the detective dead. After a few false restarts, he finally brought Holmes back for good, and really didn’t stop writing for the detective till 1927, only three years before the end of his own life. The reason for this was simply money: Doyle came to realize that Holmes was what paid the bills, and what everybody wanted most to read. So, for all the other great things he created (Holmes was far from Doyle’s only literary claim to fame), it would be his contribution to crime fiction for which the good man would forever be best recalled. For better or worse, Doyle had created a character who truly seemed immortal.

The Sherlock Holmes stories set the benchmark for just about every famous detective to come. All of the classic tropes are basically here. Eccentric main character with multiple layers? Check. More mundane sidekick who provides an anchor for the audience? Check. A touch-and-go relationship with the official police, riding a fine line between rivalry and amiability? Check. Ability to solve crimes that no one else can seem to figure out? Obviously check. It all begins with Sherlock Holmes, before and beyond anything else. Nearly every character on this countdown up to now would not even EXIST if Sherlock Holmes had not been created, and had not been a success. He is the first great, true hero of literary fiction, I would argue: yes, there’s mythology, folklore, and other such things, but in terms of something with defined roots in what can be classified as resembling contemporary times, Holmes was the one who started everything.

Obviously, there have been way too many interpretations of this character to even ATTEMPT to list. I mean, for God’s sakes, I did a whole countdown – much like this one – where I listed no less than forty-one separate interpretations, including the honorable mentions. And even that one couldn’t cover EVERY version of Holmes I know and have some fondness for. He’s EVERYWHERE. He’s fought Dracula, Jack the Ripper, and Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde almost as often as he’s tackled his arch-nemesis, Professor Moriarty. He’s been depicted in stories that are romantic, comedic, “edgy,” and every other tone you can think of. He’s made it into just about every medium there is, and has been portrayed excellently from seemingly all four corners of the globe. (Which is especially impressive, because a globe shouldn’t HAVE four corners!) From his roots in England, to America, to Russia, and even to Japan: Holmes is inescapable. Whether he’s focused on playing the violin, pumping cocaine into his veins, dealing with a three-pipe problem, or engaging in fisticuffs or even swordplay, he’s always on the move and always up to something odd, and we love him for it. I don’t think anyone would disagree with me when I say that, for sheer recognizability above all else, Sherlock Holmes more than earns my recognition for being My Favorite Fictional Detective. “It’s Elementary, My Dear Watson.”

Thank you all for joining me! Were there any famous detectives you like that didn’t make the cut? Any in particular you’d have placed higher or lower? Feel free to let me know! Take care, everyone, and make sure to get a clue. ;)

[fandom]

Web Series

Featuring not one but two digital versions of a book published in 1897. Great job.

Critical Role

The QSMP Minecraft Server

Hermitcraft

Homestuck +2

RWBY +4

The Welcome Home ARG

Dimension 20 +6

The Magnus Archives -1

Dracula Daily -5

Puppet History +22

Helluva Boss +1

The Limited Life SMP Minecraft Server

Welcome to Night Vale +16

The Amazing Digital Circus

The Dream SMP Minecraft Server -13

The Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cass Apocalyptic Series AU

Dungeons and Daddies +16

Generation Loss

Shen Comix +4

Ghost Files -12

Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint

Nerdy Prudes Must Die

Game Changer

Lackadaisy

Dan and Phil

Re: Dracula

StarKid Productions +7

Malevolent

Minecraft Championship -15

Sanders Sides -14

The Double Life SMP Minecraft Server

Crow Time

Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware -11

Hazbin Hotel -8

Tumblr Top 5

Marble Hornets +1

Mystery Files

The Adventure Zone -17

The New Life SMP Minecraft Server

Redacted ASMR -13

Defunctland +4

Eddsworld -12

Decked Out 2

Homestar Runner

Dimension 20: Dungeons and Drag Queens

Buzzfeed Unsolved -31

Unus Annus -22

The 3rd Life SMP Minecraft Server -29

Batman: Wayne Family Adventures -31

The Last Life SMP Minecraft Server -40

The number in italics indicates how many spots a title moved up or down from the previous year. Bolded titles weren’t on the list last year.

[nyx1111]

I posted 525 times in 2022

That's 525 more posts than 2021!

5 posts created (1%)

520 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lillianna74

@phoenix--rising

@seeyounextwinter

@lennis

@dark---phoenix

I tagged 140 of my posts in 2022

#art - 46 posts

#gifs - 46 posts

#film gifs - 10 posts

#to watch - 9 posts

#quotes - 9 posts

#films - 9 posts

#horror - 8 posts

#horror films - 5 posts

#photography - 4 posts

#skeletons - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 22 characters

#bram stocker's dracula

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Happy Halloween! 🦇🎃💀

0 notes - Posted October 31, 2022

#4

0 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

#3

The Ghost Opera - Mihály Zichy

1 note - Posted October 31, 2022

#2

1 note - Posted August 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hello and welcome. I am not new here. I just needed another blog to post the darker, stranger side of me. This is a side blog so I can’t follow anyone back unfortunately.

2 notes - Posted May 15, 2022

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[fismoll7secinv]

I posted 5,927 times in 2022

That's 1,463 more posts than 2021!

143 posts created (2%)

5,784 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@/wisesnail

@/m-e-w-666

@/rhysdarbytits

@/wikipedie

@/nb-spacewolf

I tagged 5,914 of my posts in 2022

#ofmd - 1,123 posts

#ofmd art - 787 posts

#art - 755 posts

#fave - 692 posts

#gentlebeard - 622 posts

#hannibal - 538 posts

#shh yzz - 234 posts

#wwdits - 197 posts

#blackbeard - 181 posts

#tumblr - 177 posts

Longest Tag: 98 characters

#omg i love her aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa adorable 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

dracula daily book club experience

337 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

#4

Frenchie's opening song is living in my head rent free so I had to cut that scene out for myself

700 notes - Posted March 31, 2022

#3

Twitter right now:

Meanwhile tumblr:

ID: 2 gifs, the first is "NO GOD PLEASE NO" of Michael from The Office, 2nd is young Michael Jackson eating popcorn while smiling. /end ID

2,030 notes - Posted April 26, 2022

#2

Adding stuff to reblogs is so freeing because in case the post blows up and circles around with your addition, your notes are free from the curse of being flooded and incomprehensible. "Fuck around and find out" except it's all on op lmao get recked loser

3,632 notes - Posted April 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

sending mental apologies to mutuals

26,414 notes - Posted May 4, 2022

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[mothric]

I posted 3,089 times in 2022

192 posts created (6%)

2,897 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@akaiiros

@an-assortment-of-forks

@wonderfullyvillainous

@mothric

@synthetic-blanket-hairs

I tagged 3,076 of my posts in 2022

#q - 2,083 posts

#this is a good art - 667 posts

#sp - 307 posts

#sent to me - 265 posts

#dracula - 216 posts

#v - 205 posts

#all creatures here below - 128 posts

#cats - 112 posts

#music - 105 posts

#humanity tag - 99 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and if you see yourself in this list at all then bring it up in therapy or at the very least look up some resources online on how to change

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Quincey: [stares out the window while Van Helsing is monologuing, gets up and leaves]

me: lmao wouldn't it be funny if he just fuckin shoots a vampire rn

Quincey: [just fuckin shoots a vampire]

me: I was KIDDING-

372 notes - Posted September 30, 2022

#4

I'm cackling

413 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

#3

You're sitting in church. It's the middle of Mass and your heads are bowed. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him:

Shia LaBeouf.

1,281 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

#2

if you are 22 or younger, remember: however embarrassingly cringy you find slang and turns of phrase used by people older than you, YOUR cool hip internet-speak and cultural signifiers will undergo the same transformation under the scrutiny of the next generation 5 or 6 years from now and you won't know it's happened until some edgy 16 year old tells you to light yourself on fire for using it. it is the circle of life and it humbles us all.

1,382 notes - Posted September 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

ever have a blorbo live in your brain for so long they become their own blorbo variant that’s no longer fully attached to their source material and your original blorbo is still beloved and dear to you but now you also have a mutant blorbo clone who is dear to you in a different way? 

43,092 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

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[electricxmayhem]

I posted 2,715 times in 2022

490 posts created (18%)

2,225 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bisopod

@spelviin

@marklikely

@archivelikely

@simplyfroggy

I tagged 1,743 of my posts in 2022

Only 36% of my posts had no tags

#runaway scones - 353 posts

#dndads - 223 posts

#myart - 67 posts

#animals - 62 posts

#muppets - 46 posts

#dracula - 25 posts

#vetposting - 22 posts

#the batman - 18 posts

#succession - 18 posts

#atmod - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#1. he’s cute i’m not overly into him but i like his movie and i like him as a kind of audience surrogate. wouldn’t particularly like to see

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

they’ll text you back, bro, they’re just figuring out which parts of their shaggy haircut go in front of their ears and which bits go behind so they can put on their headphones

428 notes - Posted February 22, 2022

#4

May Hales helping her bosses beat a hard level in Super Mario Mega Future 360 Mobile, 2044

438 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

#3

(For the art requests, and obviously only if you're okay with it) An autistic pride Zoot from the Electric Mayhem with the other members showing their support

See the full post

585 notes - Posted July 16, 2022

#2

the skyline falls as i try to make sense of it all

i thought i’d uncovered your secrets

but turns out there’s more

you adored me before

oh my good looking boy

712 notes - Posted May 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

981 notes - Posted February 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →