#top 5 comebacks of this past decade-and-a-half (my life) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

supremeuppityone · 4 years

Photo

Chapter 119: Part 2 — What Makes Up a Monster

Author’s note: This is a sequel to Chapter 47 - What Makes Up a Monster in my series, A Beautiful Symmetry. This was written for Klaroline Bingo @klaroline-events. P.S. See if you can spot my shameless plug for another of my stories. :)

Part 3 can be found here.

Prompt: “What do you mean you’re a vampire?” Klaus may have played the lead in a wildly successful monster movie franchise, but it never occurred to him that there was any truth to the stories.

Warning: Angst. Also, some sexy times! Plus, I lost count of all the TO shade. :)

“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild.” ― Stephen King, Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption: A Story from Different Seasons

Maybe the plastic vines wrapped around that twit’s neck would strangle her. Caroline watched in irritation as the twit actress Camille pretended to struggle with the vines, whose pointy thorns were somehow supposed to mean the demise of Klaus’ character, Hell’s Hybrid. They were a couple of weeks into filming the movie in the immensely popular franchise, Hell’s Hybrid 5: Terrible Tears in New Orleans, and Camille’s hilariously awful overacting coupled with her exaggerated facial expressions only had gotten worse.

But what had gotten better was the view. The familiar clip-clop noise of Klaus’ cloven hooves drew her attention, and she eyed his muscular chest appreciatively. It had been decades since a human had captured her interest like this; every covert wink and sly smirk of his had her blushing like a schoolgirl and she couldn’t wait to drag him back to his trailer for some in-depth makeup removal.

Their initial meeting had been memorable — he’d assumed she was either a stripper or a hooker his brother had hired, and she’d been so charmed by his appreciation for ‘60s horror movie makeup that she’d thrown caution to the wind and revealed that she’d been the mastermind who’d created those designs. Because she was a vampire.

“What do you mean you’re a vampire?” Klaus’ reaction hadn’t been unexpected once he’d seen her black veins and sharp fangs, but once he’d calmed down, he’d bombarded her with questions about her experience in the movie industry over the past century. His enthusiasm was endearing. Klaus had been reduced to a wide-eyed fanboy when he heard about his favorite actors from his childhood.

“You mean the Pageant Screams reaper’s stunt double also was in Chupacabra Cheerleaders? AND he ad-libbed that harvest scene in Cutthroat Coven?”

“Yes, and then the writers forgot to tie his speech back into the main plot, so there were all kinds of embarrassing loopholes with the harvest witches’ ancestral magic. So, I just added more blood spurts to the makeup special effects to distract the audience,” she cheekily explained, heart fluttering a bit at Klaus’ delighted laughter.

“Doesn’t someone’s nose need to be powdered,” Camille snidely asked, jarring Caroline from her thoughts.

Caroline blinked back her monster who’d been a bit on edge after she missed her snack because the extras required prosthetic touchups. Twit actress did not want to light this particular fuse. “Yours certainly does, but I sent one of the PAs for the really big sponges first. It must be awful to be cursed with an oil slick for skin.”

She’d always been a petty bitch, and there was nothing more satisfying than putting someone in their place right after they’d failed to put her in hers. Caroline’s blue eyes twinkled with malice as Camille valiantly searched for a comeback.

They both were distracted when the scene broke and Klaus began to towel off, sending Caroline a flirtatious wink that made her cheeks turn rosy. Camille hissed venomously in her ear, “Just remember, you’ll never be more than Klaus Mikaelson’s side piece.”

“Easy, love,” Klaus murmured as he reached her side, “I assume you’ve no interest in showing your lovely second visage to the rest of the crew?”

Caroline rolled her eyes as they walked back to his trailer. “Your groupies are getting ridiculous. This morning, I caught the one with the perpetual pout adding laxatives to my spiced chai.”

“Bloody hell — we should report that to Enzo. As director, he could kick her off the movie.”

She was touched by the concern she heard in his voice, but she waited until they were safely inside his trailer before she kissed him. “You’re sweet, but it’s not necessary. Most human drugs have little effect on my kind. Besides, I really enjoyed making her think she’d drank my tea by mistake.”

Klaus chuckled as he sat beside her on the couch. “I suppose you’ve acquired...groupies over the years as well,” he asked, determinedly trying to keep his tone light.

“I’ve never been one for blood bunnies,” Caroline sarcastically replied, hating the twinge she felt when their conversations brushed up against anything too real. “Besides, human relationship are hard — they pretty much have to give up their world for yours in order to keep your secret. It’s not an easy life.”

The small circles he traced on her back were soothing. His voice was hesitant as he commented, “It sounds lonely. I can’t imagine what it would be like to not have...” he quieted, an awkward silence between them as Caroline realized he was going to say family.

It was one of the first things he’d asked about once he’d gotten over his shock at her revelation of the supernatural world. He was very close with his siblings, and it seemed to pain him to learn that she didn’t have a family. Smiling brightly, she laced their fingers together and teased, “It’s not so bad. I’ve gotten to meet giants in the industry — Lugosi, Garbo, Hepburn, Crawford...you...” she trailed off with a knowing smile.

He snorted softly, “I’m not an industry giant.”

“Not yet,” she replied, playfully poking one of his dimples. “But I predict Klaus Mikaelson will go on to do great things.”

Klaus’ gray eyes suddenly lit up, his handsome face breaking out into a silly grin as he told her excitedly, “Actually, I do have some news that I’m really excited to share. I received word today that I’ve been cast as the co-lead in A Simple Kind of Man!”

Caroline let out an excited squeal at his news. Industry insiders were vying for a piece of Spielberg’s bold, sweeping Norse saga. Even a year out from pre-production, it already had garnered more than its fair share of Oscar buzz. “That’s amazing news,” she replied, pulling him in for a fierce hug, “I told you you’d be a giant in this industry! With your talent, it was just a matter of time!”

He laughed, a slight flush staining his cheeks as he enthusiastically continued, “My agent and publicist are planning a big media blitz, so you can’t say anything yet, but this adds a whole new layer to my career. I can parley this opportunity into even bigger and better roles and create a legacy; I’ll be more than just a mere footnote in the industry.”

Her smile dimmed at his words, but she did her best to keep it in place. She’d watched Klaus on and off the set over the past couple of weeks and he breathed so much life into the silly Hell’s Hybrid franchise. He was meant to be a star. He craved it. He wanted to settle into a career that lasted decades; to become the next McKellen or Hopkins. It would be an amazing life for him. And one she couldn’t be a part of.

“Sweetheart, what is it?”

She shook her head, blue eyes shining with unshed tears that she furiously blinked away. It was stupid to mourn something before it had the chance to become something. “It’s nothing. I’m really happy for you, Klaus. It’s everything that you deserve and I know you’ll be amazing.” She lowered her gaze, unsure of how to explain. “You desire the spotlight, and I want you to have it. But being what I am, it’s a place I can’t follow.”

His crestfallen expression hurt her heart, and she gave a half-shrug, chuckling darkly, “Us monsters have to stick to the shadows.”

“You’re not a monster,” Klaus quickly disagreed, “and the time we’ve spent getting to know each other has been amazing. We’re building toward something that could be incredible — don’t you want that?”

Damn it. His pleading, earnest tone made Caroline want to weep. “Of course I do.” She held his face in her hands, desperate for him to understand. “But your world is about to get a lot bigger and way more complicated. That spotlight you crave is blinding and everyone will want a piece of you. And they’ll definitely want to know everything there is to know about the mysterious makeup artist who’s caught your eye.”

Her voice became a harsh whisper. “My survival depends on anonymity. It’s not how I want it, but that’s the way it has to be.” She surged forward, capturing his lips with hers. They’d carried on a flirty relationship since they began working together, trading a few sweet kisses here and there, but it was nothing compared to this. This was fire and carnal need and her skin vibrated under his roaming touch as they sank together on the couch.

Klaus pulled back slightly, his lips still hovering over hers and his tone rueful as he asked, “How are we supposed to walk away from this?”

A tear escaped as she replied with a soft sigh, “We just have to.” Caressing his cheek, she tentatively questioned, “But maybe we could have this first. Can one night be enough?”

Gray eyes blazed as he swore, “One night with you would never be enough. But it will have to do.” He brought his mouth down on hers in a punishing kiss, his hands roaming over her body as though trying to memorize every line.

She purred in delight when he yanked her fuchsia tank top over her head, nibbling at his collarbone as he groaned above her. All those hours he’d spent in her makeup chair had been sweet torture as she’d done her best to avert her eyes from the tight-fitting shorts he always wore. But now, she let her hands roam with wild abandon, eagerly palming him as his flesh twitched in pleasure.

“I want you,” she panted, hooking her thumbs under his waistband to slide down the material underneath his rock-hard cock. She let out a giggle as he accidentally kicked over the side table, scattering his werewolf claws and cloven hooves.

With a sexy growl, he ducked his curly head to lightly bite at her exposed hip, dragging down her ruffled skirt until she was bare before him. His lusty gaze made her feel desired. Like she wasn’t a monster. Caroline let fingers wander down her belly, teasing him as she barely grazed her clit.

“Fuck yes,” Klaus breathed, staring hungrily at her.

He liked to watch. She licked her lips when he joined her, their fingers gently sliding into her warmth, slow, steady pumps that built up that golden sensation to make her weak. She was so close to the edge, but he pulled away at the last moment, plunging their fingers into his mouth with a satisfied grin.

She parted her thighs, a low moan escaping her lips as he positioned his slick tip, slowly rubbing against her. That first thrust wrecked her, their bodies crashing against each other as she cried out in pleasure. It was a thing of beauty to watch his muscles flex and strain to please her, and she wrapped her legs around his waist to bring him closer. She needed to touch every part of him.

Klaus bucked into her, keeping up the punishing pace as she started to ride out the waves of ecstasy. One final, deliciously dirty grind had them both seeing stars, their moans threading together in a steady hum of bliss.

“You’re a bloody revelation,” he panted, pulling her into his arms as they settled back on the couch.

Caroline breathed in Klaus’ citrus and cedar scent, idly wondering if she’d carry him on her skin once they were done. She wanted to remember everything from this moment. “And you’re wonderful,” she sighed regretfully.

His embrace immediately tightened, and she did her best to relax her body against his. Klaus’ tone was gruff as he asked, “So, this is it — we somehow manage to walk away?”

This is it. Caroline knew all of her reasons by heart — even if Klaus had no intention of pursuing fame, he’d never be able to keep her secret — he and his siblings were close and at some point, he’d feel that burden of not being honest with them. Plus, he loved being a star. And as his star shined brighter, paparazzi would swarm them, picking apart every detail of their lives. And then they might find out about her.

Heart thudding in her chest, she leaned over to give him a lingering kiss, traitorous tears clinging to her lashes by the time it ended. Once he opened his eyes, she took a breath, hating what would happen next. “Klaus, I want you to listen.” It was difficult to keep her tone even and melodic, but she pressed on knowing it was important that she did this right. She summoned her monster, letting her eyes widen as she captured his gaze.

He looked at her with so much trust. There was a sadness that settled over him, almost as though he instinctively knew what was she was going to do. “I wish I could trust you, but I can’t take the risk. This is how I survive. It was impulsive and stupid for me to show you what I am, but we had this connection and I couldn’t help myself. I’m selfish.”

Caroline hated his blank stare. The one that she put there. “You won’t remember the time we’ve spent together. You won’t remember what I am. I’m merely a makeup artist for your movie and while we’ve exchanged a few words, you barely know me.”

“I barely know you,” Klaus mumbled flatly, still dazed from her compulsion.

She choked back a sob, quickly pulling on her clothes and leaving his trailer. She didn’t look back.

_________________________________________

She’d mercifully managed to avoid Klaus the next day, compelling Enzo to insist Davina handle Klaus’ monster makeup while she focused on the group of extras that were filming the Abattoir scene. The unnecessarily darkscene because Enzo stupidly had thought that he was establishing a gothic atmosphere, but instead would just give the moviegoers eyestrain when they tried to see the actors. She threaded her way through the giggling extras, in desperate need of a caffeine fix if she was going to make it through the day’s grueling shooting schedule.

“Come on, you’re telling me you’ve never hit that?”

Caroline stopped short, realizing that was Tyler’s voice. Tyler was part of Klaus’ growing entourage, and his main function seemed to be partying on Klaus’ dime. One more exclusive Arcadius diamond timepiece and she was compelling Tyler to give sponge baths at the retirement home in the Valley.

She cautiously peeked around the edge of the fireplace set, noting with a pang that Klaus somehow looked even better today. Of course he would — he hadn’t been up tossing and turning all night. Because he didn’t remember.

He ran a hand through his curls, tossing an irritated look at Tyler. “Caroline’s a makeup artist for this movie and while we’ve exchanged a few words, I barely know her.” Fuck. Caroline felt that all the way down to her toes. You did this. Those are the words you compelled Klaus to say. You aren’t allowed to be upset.

“Whatever. She’d probably be a clingy one-night stand anyway.”

Klaus glared at Tyler, a hint of a growl in his tone as he said, “Don’t be daft. I suspect one night would never be enough.”

#kcbingo2020 #klaroline fanfic #uppity bitch fanfic #klaroline #klaroline aesthetic #aesthetic #i swear this started out fluffy and then took a wrong-ass turn somewhere

37 notes · View notes

krispyweiss · 5 years

Text

The Best of Live Music 2018

Another year is coming to a close and with it, another year of wonderful - and a few not-so-wonderful - live-music experiences.

In an effort to accentuate the positive, Sound Bites is devoting this space - and many column inches of copy - to review excerpts from his favorite concerts of 2018. They’re grouped is as good an order as he could come up with in categories of A+, A and A-; shows of B+ and below didn’t make the, uh, grade.

The numbers in parentheses indicate the number of times Sound Bites has been privileged to see the artist in question.

A+

I’m With Her (3) at Southern Theatre, Columbus, Ohio, Nov. 5: Though I'm With Her are incomparable, the closest thing might be Crosby, Stills and Nash, if that group ditched the rock 'n' roll and managed to stay on key always. Their version of John Hiatt's "Crossing Muddy Waters" is to Hiatt as CSN's "Blackbrid is to the Beatles - an improvement on what’s already essentially perfect. There really are no words to describe the intensity of their performances, which have been on a steady uphill climb on their three Ohio appearances in the past 15 months, even though their first of those, in Cincinnati, seemed impossible to improve upon.

I’m With Her (2) at Memorial Hall OTR, Cincinnati, Ohio, March 5: Even if it’s 100 degrees, sweaters or jackets should be required at any I’m With Her concert, because Sara Watkins, Sarah Jarosz and Aoife O’Donovan’ll send shivers up and down concertgoers’ spines. Take any superlative modified by any adverb, and you still couldn’t adequately describe the quality of this concert.

Rhiannon Giddens (2) at Memorial Hall OTR, Cincinnati, Ohio, May 20: Barefooted in a yellow, floor-length skirt and a black blazer, with playful splashes of red dye in her black hair, Giddens sawed her fiddle and clawed at her banjo for about half the evening and spent the reminder of her time onstage using her greatest instrument - her expressive voice. Jumping, punching the air to accentuate notes, losing herself in the music with her eyes up in her thrown-back head, Giddens was entranced by the music and cast the same spell on the audience. Part opera singer, part jazzy chanteuse, part Southern wailer, part preacher, Giddens is a nearly supernatural force - like a once-in-a-century storm of music - the rare vocalist who spends entire concerts spitting out notes most singers would be happy to hit once a night.

Magic Dick and Shun Ng with Acoustic Hot Tuna (8) at Jorma Kaukonen's Fur Peace Ranch, Pomeroy, Ohio, Nov. 10: It's too bad Fur Peace Ranch doesn't have a marquee because seeing the billing of Magic Dick and Hot Tuna in lights would've been priceless. As it went, hearing the former J. Giles Bard harp player paired with virtuosic, wonder-kid guitarist Shun Ng headlining over Acoustic Hot Tuna was also priceless, as the top of the bill put on one of those impossible-to-believe concerts and Hot Tuna were their typically terrific selves during their warm-up slot on a cold, frost-filled Nov. 10 concert in Pomeroy.

An Exclusive Evening with Jorma Kaukonen (5) at Gramercy Books, Bexley, Ohio, Nov. 15: Jorma Kaukonen answered questions, read from his new memoir and played a few tunes when he held court in front of 60 devotees inside Bexley's Gramercy Books. The guitarist's only bookstore stop on his tour to promote "Been So Long: My Life and Music" was billed as “An Exclusive Evening with Jorma Kaukonen” and found the Jefferson Airplane and Hot Tuna co-founder perched on a barstool taking questions from former Rock and Roll Hall of Fame chair and Zeppelin Productions founder Alec Wightman and the audience; reading from the book; and showing off his unique picking style on chestnuts such as the Airplane's "Embryonic Journey" and the "trad." "How Long Blues."

Outlaw Music Festival feat. Willie Nelson (12) and Family, Van Morrison (4), Tedeschi Trucks Band (8), Sturgill Simpson, Lukas Nelson & Promise of the Real (2) and Particle Kid (2) at Hersheypark Stadium, Hershey, Penn., Sept. 8: Though he's absolutely earned the right, Willie Nelson probably shouldn't follow Van Morrison and the Tedeschi Trucks Band. He followed an uncharacteristically jovial Morrison, who, dressed in his trademark dark suit, fedora and shades visited many corners of his storied songbook in a generous, 90-minute set. Meanwhile, the 12-piece Tedeschi Trucks band slayed the smallish audience in the cavernous stadium. And Sturgill Simpson played a jaw-dropping, 80-minute concert that was boiling stew of blues-based rock with the faintest hint of outlaw spice.

John Prine (2) at Ohio Theatre, Columbus, Ohio, Sept. 28: John Prine and his four-piece band played a career-spanning, genre-bending, tear-jerking, joke-telling show that found them running through all of this year's The Tree of Forgiveness - but not in sequence - along with many of the best tracks from Prine's songbook.

The Del McCoury Band (3) at Sugarloaf Mountain Amphitheatre, Chillicothe, Ohio, July 8: Despite fronting and giving ample spotlight time to his band, Del McCoury was the obvious star of this show, his acoustic guitar cutting through the music every time such a riff was necessary, and his voice hitting high notes most men can’t reach in their 30s let alone on the cusp of their 80s. He was in a playful mood and granted so many requests, he good-naturedly stumbled over lyrics to long-dormant tracks such as “40 Acres and a Fool” and “Blackjack County Chains.”

Huffamoose (2) at Ardmore Music Hall, Ardmore, Pa., Nov. 24: At the Ardmore, the Philadelphia-based Huffamoose played a triumphant, 17-song, 105-minute set just outside its hometown that featured cuts culled from its four LPs - its long-out-of-print, self-titled debut (on the local 7 label) and ’97’s We’ve Been Had Again along with the two most recent ones - and demonstrated that although much has changed, much has remained the same. This was the rare comeback concert where the words “we’re gonna do a new one” weren’t bad news.

David Byrne at Rose Music Center at the Heights, Huber Heights, Ohio, Aug. 11: Whether David Byrne is a simpleton masquerading as a genius, or - more likely - an intellectual hiding behind inane lyrics, the former Talking Heads frontman is nevertheless quite impossible to figure out even after 40 years of pouring himself out with his music. And Byrne is perhaps the only musician who can sing about donkey dicks (“Every Day is a Miracle”) and “Toe Jam” and somehow not come off as a cretinous moron.

Taj Mahal (5) Trio at Thirty One West, Newark, Ohio, Sept. 22: Playing a resonator guitar and with his solidly in-the-pocket rhythm section - the Taj Mahal Trio, ladies and gentlemen - right with him, Mahal got things going with a double greeting of sorts, playing rock-infused versions of "Good Morning Little Schoolgirl" and "Good Morning Miss Brown" back to back. These set the tone for an uproarious evening of song in which Mahal played the blues on his banjo and hollow-bodied electric guitar, played reggae on his ukulele, played folk on his resonator, played boogie-woogie on his piano and played rock 'n' roll on his acoustic guitar.

James Taylor (12) & His All-Star Band with Bonnie Raitt (2) at Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio, June 30: It’s not only Taylor’s catalog, but his presentation, that keeps fans coming back decade after decade. Not only does he switch up songs from tour to tour, he also tinkers with arrangements to keep things fresh. Raitt’s show would’ve been disappointing as a stand-alone concert. But as an entree to Taylor’s portion, it fit nicely.

Toubab Krewe (2) at Thirty One West, Newark, Ohio, Nov. 26: The five-man rhythm section known as Toubab Krewe took concertgoers on an aural journey that lifted off from Newark and went 'round the world during a stupendous, all-instrumental concert inside Thirty One West. It takes serious chops and exceptional song craft to hold an audience's attention for two solid hours while never singing a word. Toubab Krewe have both and both were in full flight Nov. 26 in Newark.

Dead & Company (7) at Blossom Music Center, Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, June 20: If Dead & Company wanted to prove something with their 100th show, they did. They proved that they are finally & truly a band - a band capable of putting together complete, knockout shows, rather than throwing a few solid punches surrounded by the musical equivalent of rope-a-dope.

Alison Krauss (4) at Fraze Pavilion, Kettering, Ohio, June 15: If the term Americana means anything, Alison Krauss is defining it on her solo tour in support of Windy City, on which she and her seven-piece band touch on virtually every type of music a group could possibly cram in to 90 minutes of stage time. Throughout the evening, Krauss accentuated the music with clipped chords and short runs on her fiddle. Though she was clearly the star, she happily allowed her bandmates to shine just as brightly as she did and seemed genuinely flattered to have each of them along for the ride.

Marty Stuart & His Fabulous Superlatives at Memorial Hall OTR, Cincinnati, Ohio, March 30: Stuart and the Fab Supers were terrific. Ostensibly a country band, they’re equally adept at playing rock ‘n’ roll, rockabilly, surf music, honky tonk, folk and bluegrass and did all that and more exceedingly well for a near-sell-out crowd that was as energized as the music itself.

Steep Canyon Rangers (7) at Midland Theatre, Newark, Ohio, Feb. 2: The Rangers spent two generous hours running through tracks new and old in a concert that ended with an enthusiastic standing ovation that caused guitarist Woody Platt to suggest we all follow them to the next gig in Chicago.

The Avett Brothers (2) at Fraze Pavilion, Kettering, Ohio, Aug. 14: The Avetts made Sound Bites cry as band donned at least 10 musical guises over the course of its staggering, two-hour, 10-minute show. From the first note in daylight at 8 p.m. sharp to the final bows in darkness, shortly after 10, the audience was on its collective feet, singing along to nearly every word, as the band held them rapt with its eclectic mix of county, folk, classical, rock and even a bit of prog that featured cello solos, bowed bass, rhythm banjo, piano-cello duets, screeching guitars and lengthy pieces that featured piano and organ a la the Band.

Larry Campbell & Teresa Williams (3) at Woodlands Tavern, Columbus, Ohio, Feb. 28: The couple set the standard early, opening with the Carter Family’s “You’ve Got to Righten that Wrong” before moving into their own “Surrender to Love.” Historical and contemporary. Universal and personal. It was a pattern that would continue all evening as Campbell on guitar, mandolin and fiddle, laid down a bed for the pair’s luxurious harmonies and Williams’ occasional rhythm guitar and shakers and made Sound Bites wonder yet again why Larry Campbell & Teresa Williams are playing bars to scores of fans instead of playing arenas to thousands.

Phil Lesh & Friends (14), Hawaii Theatre, Honolulu, Hawaii, Dec, 31, 2017: This show counts because one-third of it took place on Jan. 1, 2018, and because it was the best Dead-related concert Mr. and Mrs. Sound Bites had seen in ages as Lesh covered not only his former band, but Funkadelic, the Band, Velvet Underground and others.

Los Lobos (17) at Rose Music Center at the Heights, Huber Heights, Ohio, Aug. 7: Los Lobos are so hot, they can parlay a short-handed opening set into a standing ovation from a half-full house of George Thorogood partisans, who found themselves cheering the band from East L.A. as if they were the second coming of the Destroyers.

Richie Furay at Natalie’s Coal Fired Pizza and Live Music, Worthington, Ohio, Aug. 12: Richie Furay - best known as the Buffalo Springfield vocalist/guitarist not named Stephen Stills or Neil Young - plumbed the Springfield, Poco and Souther-Hillman-Furay Band songbooks during an acoustic set that followed an afternoon show earlier in the day. Daughter Jesse Lynch joined Dad on vocals and tambourine on all but the opening salvo of Poco’s “Pickin’ up the Pieces” and Springfield’s “Sad Memory.” At 74, Furay looks and sounds 20 years younger with a full head of salt-and-pepper hair, a life of clean living on his face and a voice that still shows why producers tapped him to sing Young’s songs with Springfield.

Todd Rundgren’s (37) Utopia (3) at Taft Theatre, Cincinnati, Ohio, May 10: Just as Utopia was essentially two bands, this was essentially two shows. Billed as Todd Rundgren’s Utopia, but featuring a four-piece reminiscent of the group that emerged after Rundgren’s proggy big band dissolved, the quartet of Rundgren, bassist/guitarist Kasim Sulton, drummer Willie Wilcox and last-minute replacement keyboardist Gil Assayas (who stepped in for the ailing Ralph Schuckett, who stepped in for the ailing Roger Powell), powered through a nostalgic - material ranged from 1972 to 1985 - 130-minute concert that served as a musical way-back machine for the Utopians in the two-thirds filled house. The arc of the band’s diverse songbook was on full display and as amazing as ever.

Todd Snider (10) at Stuart’s Opera House, Nelsonville, Ohio, June 22: An 80-minute, solo-acoustic performance that was both musically and comedically pleasing, as Snider combined his insightful numbers - and a few choice covers - with split-your-sides-open stories that often appeared mid-song but somehow didn’t interrupt the flow.

Elizabeth Cook (3) at Thirty One West, Newark, Ohio, May 16: Over the 80-minute solo set, Cook - who popped cough drops because of a cold but sounded healthy - mostly eschewed heartrending numbers like “I’m Not Lisa” and instead sung of an ex-husband who preferred beer cans to her can on “Yes to Booty;” the alcohol-fueled atmosphere she grew up around on “Stanley By God Terry;” recovery on “Methadone Blues;” and resilience on “Sometimes It Takes Balls to be a Woman.”

Cheryl Wheeler at King Arts Complex, Columbus, Ohio, March 24: Cheryl Wheeler was at turns funny, tender and socially conscious - but mostly funny - always folksy and 100-percent entertaining. We laughed - so hard we cried. And we looked forward to the next Cheryl Wheeler concert and the opportunity to hear the things we missed while doubled over in hysterics.

Los Lobos (16), Memorial Hall OTR, Cincinnati, Ohio, Jan. 25: Missing bassist Conrad Lozano, who was replaced, and multi-instrumentalist Steve Berlin, who was not, Los Lobos played an aggressive, one-set show that immediately erased any disappointment the absences might have caused.

Bettye LaVette at Jorma Kaukonen's Fur Peace Ranch, Pomeroy, Ohio, Oct. 13: Bettye LaVette was backed by guitar, bass, drums and keys/piano as she explored 12 back pages from all eras of Bob Dylan's songbook, from protest anthems to Christian declarations of faith, from well-known numbers to obscurities written between the 1960s and the 21st century. Indeed, the only person who might have rearranged these songs more radically than LaVette is Dylan himself.

Jorma Kaukonen (3) At Natalie’s Coal Fired Pizza & Live Music, Worthington, Ohio, June 13 (Early Show): There’s something refreshing about the way Jorma Kaukonen refuses to cash in on his legacy as a founder of the famed San Francisco sound with the Airplane. And as he played and sang his grizzled blues like a man walking the Mississippi Delta in the first part of the 20th century, it was again clear that Kaukonen chose the right path.

A-

Elton John (3) at Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio, Nov. 2: If Elton John is really going to quit touring when his current trek ends - in 2021 - he’s going out in top form. From the first, teasing note of “Bennie and the Jets,” to the final, lingering sounds of “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road,” the musicians tinkered with arrangements just enough to keep things interesting for people who know these songs as well as they know anything. And if this is really farewell - and if "Yellow Brick Road" is really the last song 18,000 Columbus residents will ever hear John play live - it's a fond one.

Tedeschi Trucks Band (9) at Palace Theatre, Columbus, Ohio, Nov. 9: The 12-piece band begun its "An Evening With" show just after 8 p.m. with a 55-minute opening set that set the table for what came later. Singer Mike Mattison wailed the blues and crooned jazz when he joined Susan Tedeschi on incendiary renditions of "Key to the Highway" and "Right on Time," the front woman got introspective on Bob Dylan's "Going, Going, Gone" and the group wound up powering through yet another spell-binding concert of originals and covers that spanned the past 100 years of music and its myriad styles.

Todd Rundgren (38) at Express Live!, Columbus, Ohio, Sept. 12: Always unpredictable, Todd Rundgren is even more so when he tours as Unpredictable. On these occasions, he and his long-time band - guitarist Jesse Gress; former Tubes drummer Prairie Prince; Utopia bassist Kasim Sulton; and keyboardist Greg Hawkes of the Cars - work off a list of several dozen original and cover songs and play the ones that strike Rundgren's fancy on that particular evening. And on this night, the result was a wildly diverse, two-hour set of songs that bounced around nearly as much as Rundgren’s career itself.

Bruce Hornsby (9) & the Noisemakers at Columbus Commons, Columbus, Ohio, Aug. 24: Hornsby and his current band channeled the pianist's former band, the Grateful Dead, and their taking-the-music-for-a-walk ethos. Stretching it out is a way of life for Hornsby & Noisemakers, who played just 16 songs in 130 minutes.

Roger Daltrey Performs the Who’s Tommy at Fraze Pavilion, Kettering, Ohio, July 2: On a stage packed full of musicians, Daltrey, the Dayton Philharmonic Orchestra and members of the Who’s touring band played Tommy front to back. And they played the shit out of it. The Philharmonic was a fully integrated part of the show, kicking off the concert with “Overture” as it’s always been meant to be heard; turning “Tommy Can You Hear Me” into a whimsical pops-concert moment; adding welcome flourishes to “Sally Simpson;” and filling “We’re Not Gonna Take It” with majesty.

Peter Rowan’s (2) Twang an’ Groove at Jorma Kaukonen’s Fur Peace Ranch, Pomeroy, Ohio, June 16: Once one of Bill Monroe’s Bluegrass Boys, a co-founder of Old & In the Way and author of classics including “Midnight Moonlight” and New Riders of the Purple Sage’s signature song, “Panama Red,” both of which were played toward the tail end of Set Two, Peter Rowan has been a part of some of bluegrass’ most-important 20th-century moments. He’ll be 76 on the Fourth of July, but his hands are still supple, his voice still able to climb to high-and-lonesome heights with his yodel intact, as his version of Jimmie Rodgers’ “Blue Yodel No. 3” demonstrated.

Dead & Company (6) at Riverbend Music Center, Cincinnati, Ohio, June 4, 2018: Anyone looking to understand why Dead Heads keep going back to see former Grateful Dead members year after year, decade after decade, needn’t look any farther than Dead & Company’s June 4 performance in Cincinnati. It was - by far, and until June 20 - the best of the half-dozen Dead & Company concerts Sound Bites has attended since the group came together in 2015.

Steve Kimock (3) & Friends at Ardmore Music Hall, Ardmore, Pa., Nov. 23: “Were gonna sort of front-porch our way in to this,” Steve Kimock said as he and his Friends took the stage and cooked up an ethereal, post-Thanksgiving stew that slowly bubbled into the one-off band’s - which came together for a special Black Friday performance in the City of Brotherly Love - opening number, KIMOCK’s “Careless Love.” It was a show that satisfied like a second helping of turkey.

David Crosby & Friends (2) at Kent Stage, Kent Ohio, Nov. 28: David Crosby, Michael League, Becca Stevens and Michelle Willis came into Kent and over the course of an hour-and-40-minute performance proved themselves a top-tier acoustic/harmony group that, with the right setlist, could be a salve for those still mourning the loss of Crosby, Stills and Nash. But with only a few exceptions - excellent exceptions but too few nonetheless - the quartet stuck with 21st-century material, resulting in a concert that consisted of near-perfect execution of fair to very good songs.

Steve Earle (3) & the Dukes (2) at Newport Music Hall, Columbus, Ohio, June 10: Steve Earle is like an outlaw version of Bruce Springsteen, singing everyman songs with a left-wing political bent that’s sometimes so subtle, people will miss it if they’re not playing close attention. Also like Springsteen, Earle finds himself in the midst of a late-career renaissance, as a triad of fire-breathing tracks from 2017’s So You Wannabe an Outlaw were among the highlights of a career-spanning set that opened with a full performance of 1988’s Copperhead Road.

Hubby Jenkins at Jorma Kaukonen's Fur Peace Ranch, Pomeroy, Ohio, Oct. 20: This was a fascinating concert - musically, spiritually and intellectually. Prior to taking his audience to church in a gospel-heavy second set, Hubby Jenkins took them to school, using his brief, 45-minute first set to educate concertgoers not only about the African origins of the banjo he was playing but the evolution of African-American culture and stereotypes via slavery, the Black Codes and Jim Crow and the minstrel tradition.

An Acoustic Evening with Lyle Lovett (3) & Shawn Colvin (2) at Templeton-Blackburn Alumni Memorial Auditorium, Athens, Ohio, March 21: It was one-third Lyle Lovett, one-third Shawn Colvin and one-third the Lovett-Colvin comedy hour. Together, the three-thirds equaled an evening of well-rounded entertainment.

12/27/18

8 notes · View notes

inyournightmares97 · 6 years

Note

What about got7 made you like them so much

Oh, dear. This is a heavy question to wake up to and I will not be able to go about my day unless I do justice to this, so here you go lovely anon. GOT7 was not the reason I got into K-Pop, GOT7 was the reason I stayed and if any of this makes it sound like I’m bashing other groups, take my apology now. These are purely my personal opinions and I love EVERY single one of the groups I mention here.

(Please stop reading if you don’t want to read a long, lengthy rant about my love for GOT7 and shit.)

Here we go. Five Reasons I Love GOT7

1. Around 2016, I was at a point where everything in K-Pop was starting to seem rather boring and manufactured. The same practiced answers to the same questions, the same stupid games on every variety show, the same mildly problematic attitude towards sex, skin tone and everything else; this is something which you wouldn’t notice if you stick with a single group but when you’re multi-fandom and you watch so many groups go through the same routine… damn if it doesn’t feel staged after a while. If somebody handed me a mic, I think I could do a standard stage greeting, explain my title song and my ideal type just as well as any idol could.

Honestly, at that point, Jackson was like a breath of fresh air. Every word that came out of his mouth was so different and I love the casual way in which he questions things the Korean industry takes for granted. If you haven’t seen Hitmaker yet, you must. Jackson tore Doni and Coni a new one, and I had a newfound respect for him. Yes, Jackson Wang is the reason I initially started following GOT7. Most foreign members of rookie groups keep their mouths carefully shut during early debut years because they’re scared of messing up but Jackson’s foray into the Korean industry as a foreigner felt so relatable because the moment something would happen to make me think… well, what was that? Jackson’s loose tongue would be asking the same question in a funnier way than I could have.

This might sound odd because so many I-fans consider Jackson problematic, but damn, if I don’t think he is the most unproblematic thing as far as K-Pop goes. (More on this later)

2. Damn, if they’re not funny. Yes, a lot of groups are funny and have their moments, I’m pretty sure you could find any idol group saying hilarious things at some point or the other. But GOT7 are the most consistent with their humor. I’ll say it here; I’ve NEVER found a GOT7 video boring. (Let’s not count V-lives. Those drone on forever and are often awkward) These guys were made to entertain. They really were.

Their interviews are also amazing to watch. Nobody gets MCs flustered like GOT7 does. (One of my favorites is this episode of Idol Battle Likes because the MC, Eunwoo, was a rookie idol and you can see the horror in his face as he tries to salvage the interview yet also the admiration because damn, these guys just do whatever the hell they want to). And this isn’t just Jackson anymore because there are interviews where Jackson isn’t around and they still manage to be hilariously funny. (Case in point: this episode of Global Request Show where Jackson is absent and Jaebum’s unprompted opening line is - “If we lose, Bambam is going to get hit in the forehead by all the members and the MCs” to a flustered baby Bam (who probably did something to piss JB off earlier) and also the classic JJP recreation.

Not that there aren’t other idols who are also funny. The best example is BtoB, those guys are constantly on crack but their humor is a little different from that of GOT7s, lmao, it consists mostly of me crying at the screen - no, why are you doing that with your pretty face? GOT7, on the other hand, is extremely witty and I am constantly entertained. They couldn’t make us laugh more if their jokes were scripted.

3. I feel like their relationship with each other is extremely honest. And by that, I don’t mean it’s perfect. I mean it’s honest. Listen, I don’t want to sound like an old veteran or something since I’ve only been into K-Pop for like 3 years or so, but groups are not as close as they seem. (Please don’t take this as me bashing other groups, I love all these guys, but I’m just pointing out examples). Did anyone forsee all the EXO members who left? No, because they all acted really close and tight and loyal until the last moment but now they pretend as if those members never existed. (Yes, I know SM is a snake and is probably making them do that. It still bothers me.) I’ve honestly never heard EXO talk about major fights they had. Infinite, who was my first and for a long time, my ultimate group? I did not see Hoya leaving. When I heard the rumors that a member wasn’t resigning, I was positive it was Sungyeol to go take on an acting career. Hoya doesn’t even seem to talk to the other members much anymore. I was wrong about their friendship, and that shows that there are so many things these idols hide so well from their fans.

I think GOT7 is relatively one of the most honest groups, and that’s why Jackson keeps saying it. I firmly hope and believe that GOT7 will never spring something as horrifying as a member leaving without a proper explanation. (Not saying that nobody will ever leave. They might choose to take a different path. But I hope and believe it’ll be done the right way, not with radio silence and deflections of awkward questions. Like how Sistar disbanded in such a cool way, writing handwritten letters to the fans explaining their decisions and having an amazing last stage).

I have also never heard a group talk so freely about the fights they had. I mean, dude. Mark breaking the AC and throwing a laptop at Bam? Jackson and Jaebum fighting over the chicken? I know this sounds funny right now but those were probably extremely serious fights at the time they happened and it’s a testament to their relationship that GOT7 are constantly telling stories about their past fights. I don’t see other groups that tell stories about real fights so often. I really don’t. (Except for totally veteran groups that have been around for like a decade, but guys… I think Seungri and Heechul make up half the stuff they say for entertainment, lmao).

4. They deal with so much unnecessary hate. Raise your hands if you’re never heard the phrase GOT7 is problematic. Like, wow. There are idols out there who’ve gotten caught doing illegal drugs, have DUIs to their name, participated in financial scandals and harassing fans but GOT7 who have literally never hurt a soul or broken the law are the problematic ones, okay. Sure.

God, I just hate when people think they’re racist. Guys, open your eyes. GOT7 are the most inclusive group out there. They might be a little stupid at times but they have their hearts in the right places. (HAS NOBODY SEEN THIS VIDEO OF WHEN THAT ASSHOLE HYUNMOO SAID NAMJOON SPEAKS BLACK ENGLISH AND JACKSON SHUT HIM DOWN IN 0.5 SECS?) Don’t get me wrong, Namjoon is my bias in BTS, but I never heard anyone bash him for how problematic he was in his early days. He apologized and people are okay with it but somehow GOT7 still gets pulled up for the dumbest shit.

Like fuck, guys, half the people who bashed Yugyeom have probably consumed alcohol underage too. Bambam is a little stupid at times, but he’s not racist. Give Mark a break, he’s been in Korea for years, when do you think the last time he hung out with his American friends was? People change, give him the benefit of the doubt. I’m not responsible for the shit my childhood friends get up to. Jaebum was joking with his fans. You can’t say that an idol is so cool for being savage with his members and then suddenly backtrack when he gets savage with you, lmao. Just be savage back to him. It’s banter and I love it. It’s much better than hearing meaningless ‘oh you all mean so much to me’ only to find out the idol fucking leaves the group without a word 2 months later.

So yeah, I have a protective instinct over GOT7. If one of them actually ever does something problematic then they’re getting called out for it, but come on. Let’s not just make them victims all the time. We know how that feels. I was going through a bad time when GOT7 was getting hate and I connected with them personally.

5. Finally, GOT7 are the underdogs and I always root for them. To me, they’re that group that has amazing potential and while they’re not completely underrated, there’s this feeling that they’ve gone up to a certain point and now it’s hard to go further. It’s pretty clear from the way the members talk, especially Jackson, Jaebum and Jinyoung, that they’re worried they’ve hit their peak. (Have you guys heard of the 5-year jinx?) I think it’s extremely admirable how they’re putting in all their efforts towards making sure that doesn’t happen because listen. They have money, they have comfortable lives and they can sort of relax and do that thing idol groups do where they half-heartedly put out an album every 12-18 months just for the heck of proving they haven’t disbanded yet. But they’re not, they’re still doing multiple comebacks this year because they want recognition and that is something that resounds with me.

It’s one thing to be stuck at dirt bottom and give up. It makes me cry to see all those idol groups from underrated companies that die out and never make it, who end up quitting and looking for other options in life. The ones who struggle despite not even making a lot of money. That’s terrible.

But you know what else is terrible? That feeling that you haven’t lost completely. No, you’re not at the bottom, you did pretty well for yourself but you’re not there yet. You can’t turn back and quit completely, but you also have that last mile left to go and that honestly, that last mile is the hardest. I personally relate to that feeling. It’s the feeling that you’re somewhere up there but you’re not at the top and it’s not hard work or determination or talent that matters anymore, it’s just fucking luck.

I hope and pray that GOT7 cross that last mile to reach the top in their careers and when they do, I want to be there with them so they can inspire me to cross my own barriers.

#got7 #jackson #jaebum #jinyoung #bambam #yugyeom #mark #youngjae #got7 scenarios #got7 rants #got7 fluff #got7 love

184 notes · View notes

weekendwarriorblog · 4 years

Text

The Weekend Warrior March 6, 2020 – ONWARD, THE WAY BACK, EMMA and MUCH More!

Thankfully, February ended pretty well as The Invisible Man fell just shy of my abridged $30 million opening prediction, but still, $29 million is pretty damn good, and the movie’s “B+” CinemaScore makes me think that it will do pretty well going into March even with another Blumhouse genre film opening next week. Oh, yeah, and A Quiet Place Part 2. Anyway, next week is next week. Let’s get to this week…

March kicks off with ONWARD, the latest animated movie from Disney’s Pixar Animation division, which his coming off its 10th Oscar in the Animated Feature category last month, as it launches its 23rd movie over the course of 25 years. It’s pretty amazing how far Pixar has come since it was launched with John Lasseter’s Toy Story way back in 1995, the company having amassed $6 billion in North America alone and $14.4 billion worldwide.

Onward is the new movie from Monsters University director Dan Scanlon, a fantasy involving two elf brothers, voiced by Tom Holland and Chris Pratt, who go on a quest to find magic that will help them bring back their dead father. The movie also features the voices of Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, Tracey Ullman, Lena Waithe, Octavia Spencer, Ali Wong and Mel Rodriguez.

This is Pixar’s first original movie since Coco in 2017, but it’s also the first movie released by the studio outside of the profitable summer and holiday box office seasons. It’s certainly a departure, but this will also be the third time where there are two Pixar movies in the same year. The last time this happened was in 2015 when the summer release Inside Out was another $350 million hit but it led to the November release of The Good Dinosaur, which to date is still Pixar’s lowest grosser even compared to 1998’s A Bug’s Life. Good Dinosaur opened with just $39 million over the normally-lucrative Thanksgiving weekend and only grossed $123 million domestic. The March release might make some wonder if Onward isn’t one of Pixar’s stronger offerings. (Pete Docter’s Soulis getting the studio’s higher profile summer release, but that’s what comes when you turn original movies like Up and Inside Out into blockbuster hits without the benefits of being a sequel.)

Having big stars like Pratt and Holland providing the main voices might normally help, especially in terms of getting publicity for the movie, although Holland just provided his voice for Fox’s animated Spies in Disguise with an equally big star like Will Smith and that only grossed $66 million after opening last Christmas.

A last-minute boost for Onward might come from the fact that it’s preceded by a brand new “The Simpsons” short, another benefit from the massive purchase of Fox and its properties by Disney last year. That and the Pixar brand should drive business opening weekend, which should be good for roughly $50 million even with stronger family films like Call of the Wild and Sonic the Hedgehog, which will step aside to give Onward the required berth. I’m not sure Onwardwill achieve the $200 million benchmark of other non-Pixar sequels but it should be good for around $160 to 170 million with a bump from schools having spring break in March. (I’m not going to start presuming that the current corona scare might impact moviegoing, at least not just yet, although it’s something that needs to be kept in mind.)

Having not seen Onward yet, I don’t have that much more to say, but I have good news, and it’s that I’ve been invited to see Disney’s Mulan, so a.) I’ll have a review for you, and b.) I’ll hopefully have more insightful thoughts on that movie’s box office since I’ll have seen it.

The other wide release this weekend is the second team-up between Ben Affleck and director Gavin O’Connor, following their 2016 hit The Accountant. Unlike that thriller, THE WAY BACK (Warner Bros.) is more of an inspirational drama about a man trying to overcome addiction to find redemption. Affleck plays Jack Cunningham, a former high school basketball star struck down by alcoholism, who is given another chance to coach his old high school basketball team. The drama comes from whether he can overcome his demons to find redemption. It wouldn’t be a particularly inspirational movie if he doesn’t.

Oddly,The Way Back is a far more common type of March release than Onward but it is also Affleck’s second attempt at a comeback, having recovered from the bombs of the mid-00s to find favor as a director with the Oscar Best Picture winner Argo, which followed a decent-sized hit with 2010’s The Town. Unfortunately, Affleck’s 2016 movie Live By Night bombed really badly, countering the success he had as Batman in Zack Snyder’s Batman v Supermanand in 2016’s The Accountant, which grossed $86.3 million. The fact that Justice League made $100 million less than Batman v Superman got Affleck replaced by Robert Pattinson in Matt Reeves’ The Batman, due out next year, so Affleck definitely has something to prove with this movie.

Besides reuniting Affleck and O’Connor, The Way Back also has a chance to draw in older males by being set in the world of basketball, as we’ve seen movies like Coach Carter, starring Samuel L. Jackson, open big with $24.8 million over the MLK Jr. weekend in 2005. On the other hand, Disney opened the basketball drama Glory Road, starring Josh Lucas, on the same weekend and that opened with half that amount. O’Connor is no stranger to inspirational feel-good sports movies having directed Disney’s Miracle about the 1980 US hockey team, which ended up grossing $64 million after a $19 million opening in 2004. Obviously, these are all movies that are nearly 15 years old, and it’s harder to find more recent sports hits unless you look to the world of faith-based dramas, and maybe Warner Bros. hopes that crowd will be out for this story of redemption.

I wish I had more confidence in this film, although I generally have never been a very big Affleck fan, and I’m not sure if this is the kind of movie that will entice older males in the same way as The Accountant (which I didn’t like, mind you). I’d like to think that the movie can do somewhere in the range of Thunder Road’s $13 million opening, but I have a feeling that this will end up closer to $10 to 11 million this weekend and will have to rely on word-of-mouth if it wants to maintain business through a month with a lot of strong offerings to come.

Mini-Review: On paper, The Way Back would seem like a very obvious movie, both for Ben Affleck and also for director Gavin O’Connor, who has dealt with inspirational sports movies and those seeking redemption. (Warrior is still one of my favorite films he’s made to date.)

We meet Affleck’s Jack Cunningham as he’s still on a low after splitting from his wife (Janina Gavankar) with a beer can always in hand, although we won’t find out what happened until much later. Out of the blue, Jack is called by the pastor of Bishop Hayes Catholic high school where Jack was the big star destined for greatness decades earlier. Even though he hasn’t touched a ball since then, Jack takes on the challenge of trying to turn things around for the worst team in the league. At the same time, he tries to help a few individual players and not get on the bad side of the chaplin with his constant swearing.

This is a great vehicle for Affleck and O’Connor, working from a script by Brad Ingelsby, whose screenplay for last year’s American Woman was another nice surprise. Affleck really has never been better in a role that allows him to pull from his own addiction and marital issues to create a fully-rounded character. The way O’Connor shoots the basketball games and the progress of the team keeps things exciting.

The only significant problem with the movie is that the first 2/3rds of it seems like two separate movies, one involving Jack trying to bring Bishop Hayes back from being the worst team in the league and the other being Jack’s alcohol problems. The two sides of the movie rarely intersect for a good chunk of the movie.

The real surprises come in the film’s last act where we think everything is going great and can’t imagine things could get bad again for Jack… and of course, they do. I won’t say about how and what happens, but when you’ve spent the whole movie watching him do something so inspiring, it’s a little deflating to be brought back down to reality.

Sure, The Way Back may be predictable (to a point) but it’s a damn good version of the movie that you’re expecting, offering a big-time tug on the heart strings. Rating: 8/10

Hitting theaters nationwide this weekend – roughly 1,500 theaters -- is the new Jane Austen adaptation EMMA. (Focus Features), starring Anya Taylor-Joy and Bill Nighy. The movie has done pretty well platforming, but it will be a tougher sell as it expands into regions outside major cities, so the per-theater average will fall quite a lot since last weekend. I think it should be good for $2 to 3 million which will allow it to place in the top 10 but we’ll have to see how it fares before expecting much more of an expansion.

Also, Sony Pictures Classics is planning to expand Michael Winterbottom’s Greed, starring Steve Coogan, into a nationwide release, but who knows if that’s 400 theaters, 500 theaters or more? (UPDATE: Theater count is confirmed at 596 so I’m sticking with my earlier prediction of $1.2 million.) I’m not sure they should go very wide with a $7,124 per-theater average this past weekend (worse than Searchlight’s Wendy), so I don’t think it will make enough to crack the top 10 this weekend even with a fairly low entry point.

This week’s Top 10 should look something like this…

1. Onward (Disney-Pixar) - $51 million N/A

2. The Invisible Man (Universal) - $16.3 million -44%

3. The Way Back (Warner Bros.) - $10.5 million N/A

4. Sonic the Hedgehog (Paramount) - $8.5 million

5. The Call of the Wild (20thCentury) - $6.8 million

6. Emma. (Focus Features) - $3 million +71% (up .8 million)*

7. My Hero Academia: Heroes Rising (FUNimation) - $2.7 million

8. Bad Boys for Life (Sony) - $2.4 million

9. Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey (Warner Bros) - $2.3 million

10. The Impractical Jokers Movie (TruTV) - $1.6 million -55%

-- Greed (Sony Pictures Classics) - $1.2 million

*UPDATE: Keeping most of my predictions the same except that I’m giving a little bump to Focus’ Emma, since it should act as decent counter-programming to the other new movies.

LOCAL FESTIVALS

The big festival kicking off in New York this week is the annual “Rendezvous with French Cinema” up at Film at Lincoln Center, which runs from this Thursday through March 15. It kicks off on Thursday with Hirokazu Kore-eda’s first French language film The Truth as the opener with stars Juliette Binoche and Ethan Hawke introducing the film at 6:30pm after doing a separate conversation earlier (only standby available for the conversation and early screening but tickets available for the 9:15pm screening sans introduction). I’ll probably write more about this next week when it gets its limited release, but the two actors play a couple who come to France to spend time with her actress mother Fabienne (played by the amazing Catherine Deneuve) who is publishing her contentious memoirs. The other movie I’ve seen which I liked a little more is Quentin Dupieux’s quirky Deerskin, starring Jean Dujardin (The Artist), which also opens theatrically this month. I wasn’t able to catch Alice Winocour’s Proxima, starring Eva Green and Matt Dillon, but hopefully that will be one of the films that finds distribution, as many of the “Rendezvous” offerings, this festival might be the only time to see them. Other returning filmmakers include Cédric Klapisch, Bruno Dumont, as well as Christophe Honoré’s On a Magical Night with Cannes winner Chiara Mastoianni in attendance, plus more. Click on the link above for the full rundown.

LIMITED RELEASES

This is a pretty decent for limited release, so if you’re in New York or L.A. and have already seen some of the expanding movies or aren’t interested in the new wide releases, you have a LOT of other options… and that’s even before we get to the repertory stuff below. There are just way too many limited releases coming out the next couple weekends.

I’m gonna do something a little different this week. Instead of picking just one “Featured Movie,” I’m gonna go with a “Featured Theater” since two decent movies are opening at New York’s Film Forum this coming week. (Plus it begins a new Hitchcock series, which you can read about in the repertory section below.)

We’ll begin with SORRY WE MISSED YOU (Zeitgeist/Kino Lorber) – opening at Film Forum Weds. and in L.A. at the Landmark Nuart on Friday. It’s the new film from director Ken Loach, who has an amazing filmography of British “kitchen sink” dramas but also great historical films like The Wind That Shakes the Barley. Loach’s last film I, Daniel Blake was in my top 5 a few years back and Sorry I Missed You is very much a follow-up, once again dealing with Brits struggling with the system to make a living. In this case, it’s Kris Hitchen’s Ricky Turner and his wife Abbie (Debbie Honeywood) as he signs on for a “zero-hour” job delivering packages, a system that requires working longer hours. Meanwhile, Abbie is working just as hard as a home care worker. As they struggle to make a living, their teenage son is skipping school and getting into trouble.

Although as a freelance writer, I could definitely relate to the idea of having to work extra-hard in order to earn enough money to survive, especially in the jobs I was doing getting paid by piece which was never helpful in making ends meet. Seeing how the package delivery industry in northern England is used to take advantage of individuals is partially what keeps things interesting. Like The Way Back, you sort of expect things to get bad for Ricky, especially in regards to his son, but there’s a certain point where you think he’s gonna crash his van cause he’s so exhausted. It doesn’t happen but what happens next is almost worse than that. Either way, it’s another decent movie from Loach (and regular writer Paul Laverty), maybe not as good as I, Daniel Blake but still worthwhile.

From China comes THE WILD GOOSE LAKE (Film Movement), the new film from Daio Yinan (Black Coal, Thin Ice), which is quite a different film for Mr. Yinan, starring Hu Ge as mob leader Zhou Zenong, who gets into a feud with another local gang leader, ends up killing a police officer in the ensuing mayhem and ends up hiding out in the area of Wuhan known as Wild Goose Lake, becoming entangled with Gwei Lun-Mei’s Liu. This is another interesting take on the crime noir genre from Zenong, one that maybe gets a little more artsy-fartsy than Black Coal but one that also veers further into genre territory, particularly with some of the violence and bloodshed involved. It offers further proof that Yinan is a true master of cinematic storytelling since it’s so unlike the many other Chinese crime films that have come from both Hong Kong and the mainland. This one is quite the film, although I still recommend seeking out Black Coal if you ever have the chance. This one will open at the Film Forum on Friday. (While you’re going to the Film Forum, check out Corneliu Porumbiou’s crime-thriller The Whistlers, which I watched over the weekend, and it’s quite different from many other Romanian films I’ve seen, not only because it’s under 2 hours.)

Next up is THE BURNT ORANGE HERESY (Sony Pictures Classics), Giuseppe Capotondi’s adaptation of Charles Willeford’s book, starring Claes Bang from The Square and The Girl in the Spider’s Web as art critic James Figueras, who is giving lectures in Italy when he meets Elizabeth Debicki’s Berenice. It’s a meeting that turns into a fast relationship that has them both in bed, and when James is called to the mansion of a rich Italian art lover named Cassidy (played by Mick Jagger), he brings Berenice along with him. Once there, James learns that Cassidy has become the benefactor for reclusive artist Jerome Debney, played by Donald Sutherland, whose entire body of work was destroyed in a fire. Cassidy has gotten James an exclusive interview with Debney with the condition that he gets one of Debney’s in-demand paintings out of the deal. I’m not really a fine art fanatic nor have I read Willeford’s book, but I found this to be an interesting dramatic thriller in the vein of The Talented Mr. Ripley as you watch this cat-and-mouse game being played between the characters. Sutherland is pretty awesome as Debney, who flirts with Berenice while playing mind games with James, and the way these dynamics play out is what makes this film better than other art-driven films. As you watch this movie, you’ll probably realize that Claes Bang really should be playing a James Bond villain and then Mick Jagger appears on screen with him and you REALLY think that Jagger should have played a Bond villain anytime in the last few decades as he’s great at playing devious. This is another great release from Sony Classics in a year where they seem to be turning things around from the last couple years. So far, besides this, I’ve also liked Greed, The Traitor and The Climb, which will be released later this month.

Having been delayed from its intended December release due to many controversies, George (The Adjustment Bureau) Nolfi’s THE BANKER (Apple+) will finally hit select theaters for a few weeks before launching on Apple+ on March 20. It stars Anthony Mackie as Bernard Garrett, a young genius growing up black pre-Civil Rights and dealing with the Jim Crow racism in his hometown of Texas, so he moves to Los Angeles and becomes heavily involved in the real estate business. Eventually, he finds a partner in Samuel L. Jackson’s Joe Morris, a club owner with money and a good amount of real estate experience himself. Slowly, they begin buying up buildings in downtown L.A. using the ambitious white Max Steiner (Nicholas Hoult) as their frontman, while letting affluent black people in to build a community and Bernard decides it’s time to buy the bank in his old Texas hometown. That’s where things start going wrong, but I won’t get too deep into the story. This is a decent film from Nolfi with particularly strong performances from Mackie and Jackson, as well as Nia Long as Garrett’s wife. It’s very reminiscent of Spike Lee’s BlackKklansman with a similar level of humor despite being about a serious subject. It does hit a bit of a lull when the story moves back to Texas and the trio’s dealings with the banks, and it gets a little bogged down in all the numbers, but it does end up delivering a decent true-life story that will be of interest.

Kelly Reichardt’s latest period piece is FIRST COW (A24), set in the Pacific Northwest during the time of the Gold Rush as a cook (John Magaro) encounters a Chinese immigrant (Orion Lee) in the Oregon Territory and the two of them hatch a money-making scheme to sell biscuits using stolen milk from a local landowner’s prized cow. Although I have not really been a fan of Reichardt’s work, even her historic film Meek’s Cutoff, I think with this movie she really finds her footing with two great actors/characters and a story that’s fairly intriguing in its own right. I wasn’t too crazy with how the film ended (foreshadowed by the film’s opening framing device) but it’s one of Reichardt’s few films where I didn’t get bored or lose interest, so that’s certainly sayin’ something. What’s even more impressive is that two local theaters (BAM, MOMI) held repertory series in conjunction with the release of First Cow and apparently, other cities are doing the same.

From Brazil comes BACURAU (Kino Lorber), Kleber Mendonça Filho and Juliano Dornelles’s odd genre film that’s based around a small village in the Brazilian equivalent of the Outback, a remote place whose matriarch Carmelita has just passed away at the age of 94. There are forces at work trying to drive the villagers out of their homes, including putting a dam to cut off their water supply, but things get stranger when a nearby farmer and his family end up dead, which leads to a twist that takes the film directly into genre territory. I don’t want to say too much about what happens but it involves Udo Kier and a lot of weapons… Bacurau opens at the IFC Center downtown and Film at Lincoln Center uptown (with QnAs at the latter, which is also holding a “Mapping Bacurau” series starting March 13.)

Carlo Mirabella-Davis’ SWALLOW (IFC Films) stars Haley Bennett as a newly-pregnant housewife married to her perfect husband Richie (Austin Stowell, who recently appeared in Fantasy Island), but as she tries to please him and his parents, she starts developing a dangerous habit in the form of a disorder called pica that has her compulsively swallowing inedible objects. Okay, then. It will open at the IFC Center, the Laemmle Monica Film Center and as well as On Demand and digital. Bennett won an award for her acting at last year’s Tribeca Film Festival, but I somehow missed it.

Next, we have a trio of films opening at New York’s Village East Cinema and a few other theaters both in New York and select cities:

I really wanted to like Mike Ahern and Enda Loughman’s Irish horror-comedy EXTRA ORDINARY (GDE) more, since the trailer really made it seem like something I might enjoy. In the movie, Maeve Higgins plays Rose, a smalltown driving instructor who has supernatural talents who is called upon by Barry Ward’s Martin Martin, whose daughter is being used by a former rock star (played by Will Forge) who needs a virgin to commit a Satanic pact to regain his fame. The movie just seemed rather silly and not nearly as funny as the trailer makes it seem, but maybe it would be better seing it with an audience.

Another movie that looks good (and I hope to watch soon) is Ricky Tollman’s directorial debut, the political thriller Run This Town (Oscilloscope), which stars Ben Platt (from Pitch Perfect), Mena Massoud, Nina Dobrev, Scott Speedman, Jennifer Ehle and Damian Lewis, quite an impressive cast. Platt plays Bram, a young journalist who becomes entangled in a political scandal with his political aide friend Kamal (Massoud) after catching the latter’s city hall boss doing something bad that can help the former’s career.

Also opening this weekend at the Village East and other cities, Anna Akana stars in Emily Ting’s semi-autobiographical Go Back to China (Gravitas Ventures) playing a spoiled rich girl named Sasha Li, who is forced by her father to return to China after blowing through her trust fund. Once there, Sasha finds herself by reconnecting with her estranged family and getting into toy designing. I haven’t watched this yet but the trailer looks cute, and I might have to make an effort to watch this.

Sadly, I had to refrain mentioning Daniel Radcliffe’s previous movie released last week, but he stars in another one this weekend, Francis Annan’s Escape from Pretoria (Momentum) based on Tim Jenkins’ autobiography “Inside Out: Escape from Pretoria Prison,” a thriller about the attempt by two political captives to break out of prison during apartheid South Africa. It also stars Daniel Webber, Ian Hart, Mark Leonard Winter and Nathan Page.

A few other films I haven’t had a chance to watch include William Nicholson’s Hope Gap (Roadside Attractions), starring Annette Bening and Bill Nighy with Bening playing Grace, a woman who learns her husband (Nighy) is leaving her after 29 years and how that break-up affects their grown son (Josh O’Connor).

Freida Pinto and Leslie Odom Jr. star in Takashi Doscher’s Only(Vertical Entertainment) in which a comet releases a deadly virus that attacks all the women in the world forcing the two of them into hiding in their apartment from the savages hunting the surviving women. That’s a pretty strange premise that sounds like the opposite of the comic book series “Y the Last Man.” If only there was enough time to watch half the movies opening this weekend.

I accidentally included D.W. Young’s doc The Booksellers (Greenwich) in last week’s column, but it actually opens at the Quad in New York and other cities this Friday. It takes a look behind the scenes at the world of rare books with appearances by Parker Posey, Fran Lebowitz and Gay Talese.

From Bollywood comes BAAGHI 3 (FIP), Ahmed Khan’s martial arts action movie, starring series regular Tiger Shroff (who is filming a Bollywood remake of Rambo!) and Ritesih Deshmukh as brothers Ronnie and Vikram, the latter being kidnapped and beaten while abroad for work and Ronnie seeking revenge. Shraddha Kapoor returns after starring in the first movie of this action series.

Other movies, mostly hitting On Demand (with limited theatrical) include Transference (Epic Pictures), which opens in L.A. on Friday and hits On Demand next Tuesday, Final Kill (Cinedigm), Beneath Us (Vital Pictures) and Seven Stages to Achieve Eternal Bliss (MarVista Entertainment).

STREAMING AND CABLE

Some big stuff hitting the streaming…um… streams this weekend, including director Peter Berg and Mark Wahlberg’s latest collaboration, the action-thriller SPENSER CONFIDENTIAL on Netflix. I have really enjoyed this duo’s collaborations in the past, including Patriots Day, Deepwater Horizon and Lone Survivor. (Mile 22 was a bit of a disappointment, considering how great those other three were.) This one has Wahlberg playing the title character Spenser, an ex-cop who teams with his roommate Hawk (Winston Duke from Usand Black Panther) to take down criminals responsible for killing two Boston police officers.

Equally exciting is the launch of Alex Garland’s new sci-fi series Devs, which will launch on FX on Hulu on Thursday. This is a really terrific premise from the director of Ex Machina and Annihilation with a fantastic cast that includes an amazing cast that includes Nick Offerman, Alison Pill, Jin Ha, Cailea Spaeny, Stephen McKinley Henderson and more.

Also launching this week on Hulu is Nanette Burstein’s documentary Hillary (Hulu), which followed former Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton over the course of her 2016 U.S. presidential campaign. The movie just premiered at Sundance in January to raves.

Steven Spielberg’s revival of his popular ‘80s anthology series Amazing Stories will debut on Apple TV+ this Friday with the first episode, “The Cellar.”

REPERTORY

Before we get to the regular repertory stuff, I want to mention that Satoshi Kon’s classic 2003 anime Tokyo Godfathers will get a nationwide theatrical release via Fathom Events with Monday night, March 9, being the original subtitled version while Weds. the 11th, there will be a dubbed version.

METROGRAPH (NYC):

The big debut this week is the Metrograph Pictures release of the restored version of Fruit Chan’s 1997 classic Made in Hong Kong, which has never been released in the United States! Apparently it was also the first movie released in Hong Kong after it received independence in 1997. It’s an interesting crime tale that deals with the relationship between three young people, hoodlum August Moon, who collects debts for a local loan shark, his dim-witted friend Sylvester and Ping, an attractive but troubled young girl who begins a relationship with August. It also deals with the death of a young girl who seemingly jumped off a roof and the three of them trying to solve the case and get a few letters she left behind to those they were meant for. If you can imagine a cross between River’s Edge, Me and Earl and the Dying Girland the recent Peanut Butter Falcon, all set in the gritty street crime culture of 1997 Hong Kong, then you can only begin to imagine what you’re in for, but it’s an amazing film and nothing you would ever see made or released in the U.S., so good on Metrograph for picking up the distribution rights and getting it out to the world.

On Sunday, Metrograph regular Alex Ross Perry will be showing Peter Hyams’ 1974 film Busting, but on Saturday, actor Chiara Mastroianni, who will be in town for “Rendezvous with French Cinema” (see above) will show her “Dream Double Feature” of Dino Risi’s 1962 film Il Sorpasso and Charles Laughton’s psychological horror classic The Night of the Hunter (1955).

This weekend’s Late Nites at Metrograph is Fassbinder’s 1972 film The Bitter Tears of Petra Von Kant and apparently, the “Playtime: Family Matinees” has been replaced with “Metrograph Matinees” on Saturday and Sunday, which includes some less kid-friendly fare. For instance, this weekend, they’re showing Jean-Luc Godard’s Weekend (1967), which I’m assuming isn’t for the kiddies.

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE BROOKLYN (NYC)

Tonight’s “Weird Wednesday” is Robocop 2, while next week’s “Terror Tuesday” is the 1989 giallo Paganinni Horror, starring Donald Pleasance, and “Weird Wednesday” is the 1985 action film Sword of Heaven.

Over on the West Coast, Alamo Drafthouse Cinema Downtown Los Angeles will screen 1968’s Wild in the Streetsas it’s “Weird Wednesday.” Saturday’s “Kids Camp” is The Shaun the Sheep Movie and then Sunday is a Brunch screening of The Brady Brunch. Marc Bernarndin’s Monday “The Minority Report” screening is Joss Whedon’s 2005 film Serenity. Next week’s “Terror Tuesday” is Kathryn Bigelo’s Near Dark and then the “Weird Wednesday” is Bobcat Goldthwait’s 2011 dark comedy God Bless America

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

Weds’ afternoon matinee is Clint Eastwood’s High Plains Drifter (1973), while the Weds/Thursday night double feature is The Man Who Would Be King (1975) with Zulu Dawn (1979). The “Freaky Fridays” matinee is Paul Verhoeven’s Starship Trooper (1997) and then we’re into the weekend with Friday/Saturday double features of Blake Edwards’ The Return of the Pink Panthe r(1975) and The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1975), both starring Peter Sellers as Inspector Clouseau. The weekend’s “Kiddee Matinee” is Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Princeand the Saturday midnight screening is Hal Ashby’s fantastic Harold and Maude. Sunday and Monday will continue the Blake Edwards love with 1965’s The Great Race with one of the greatest all-star casts of the decade. On Monday afternoon you can see the classic House Partyfrom 1990 and then Tuesday’s Grindhouse is David Cronenberg’s The Brood (1979) with Scalpel (1977).

FILM FORUM (NYC):

The big rep series beginning this week on Wednesday and running through March 19 is “The Women Behind Hitchcock,” mostly focusing on Hitchcock’s relationship with wife and editor Alma Reville and secretary Joan Harrison. The series includes Hitchcock classics like Rebecca (1940) and The Lady Vanishes (1938), as well as Robert Siodmak’s 1944 film Phantom Lady (produced by Harrison) as well lots more. This weekend’s “Film Forum Jr.” is Jim Henson’s Muppet Treasure Island (1996) and Friday is a screening of Claude Lelouch’s Oscar-winning 1966 film A Man and a Woman with Lelouch in person. (That’s already sold out online but will have a standby line.)

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

Thursday offers an encore screening of the Russian film Come and Seeand then Friday begins “Noir City Hollywood: the 22ndAnnual Los Angeles Festival of Film Noir” with a double feature of The Beast Must Die (1952) with Gilda (1946) and then Saturday offers a TRIPLE FEATURE of Fritz Lang’s 1931 M, Joseph Losey’s 1951 remake M and El Vampiro Negro, the 1953 Spanish Language. That’s a LOT of “M”s. Saturday night in the Spielberg Theater, “Joe Dante’s 16mm Spotlight” will screen Brian De Palma’s 1968 film Murder À La Mod. Sunday offers two Film Noir double features, two from Robert Siodmak: The Devil Strikes at Night (1957) and Fly-by-Night (1942) and then the Korean noir The Housemaid (1960) with My Name is Julia Ross (1945). Meanwhile, the AERO will mainly be doing the West Coast version of “Canada Now 2020,” and then on Monday, David Mamet will be on hand to show his film House of Gamesas part of “Noir City: Hollywood.”

QUAD CINEMA (NYC):

Horace B. Jenkins’ 1982 film Cane River continues through the weekend, as does Pandora and the Flying Dutchman and Brazilian filmmaker Bruno Barreto’s Donna Flor and Her Two Husbands (1976) plays Saturday night and then again a couple times next week.

MOMA (NYC):

Lots of new series this week including Modern Matinees: CicelyTyson, which will focus on the Tony, Emmy, honorary Oscar and Presidential Medal of Freedom honoree and her body of work with matinee screenings on Weds through Thursdays. It kicks off Weds with 1954’s Carib Gold, followed on Thursday by Fried Green Tomatoes (1991) and Friday’s screening of Rob Cohen’s 2012 movie Alex Cross. The latter might seem like a strange movie to screen at MOMA, but this week also begins In Character: Daniel Craig, which will cover the roughly two decade career of the British actor best known for playing James Bond. The latter begins on Tuesday night with a screening of his Bond debut, 2006’s Casino Royale, but then it will take a week off and be back next Weds for a repeat. SThe latter is delayed for a retrospective on Israeli journalist Efratia Gitai and her filmmaking son Amos Gitai’s work called “In Times Like These.”The weekend series includes 2009’s Carmel, 1986’s Esther, 1989’s Berlin-Jerusalem and 2002’s Kedma, as well as a staged reading of his mother’s letters.

ANTHOLOGY FILM ARCHIVES (NYC):

A new series begins Thursday called “1995: The Year the Internet Broke” with a mix of sci-fi films like Hackers, the anime Ghost in the Shell, Kathryn Bigelow’s Strange Days, The Net, Johnny Mnemonic, Virtuosity and more. It looks like a pretty solid series, while the more obscure Dusan Makavjev, Cinema Unbound through Sunday. Next Tuesday begins “The Cinema of Gender Transgression” begins with Neil Jordan’s 2005 film Breakfast on Pluto.

NITEHAWK CINEMA (NYC):

Williamsburg will show the Julia Roberts Oscar-winning Erin Brockovich and then the Friday night midnight offerings are Dan Bush’s newish The Dark Redand Ben Wheatley’s underrated 2012 movie Sightseers. Saturday morning screening is Joseph Mankiewicz’s All About Eve from 1950 but your other option is the ubiquitous Nicolas Cage in 1995’s Leaving Las Vegas. Monday night is a special screening of Anna Rose Holmer’s 2016 film The Fits as part of “Women’s Month.” (Next Tuesday night screening of Cage’s Gone in 60 Secondsis already sold out unfortunately.)

Over in Prospect Park, the Saturday brunch offering is Agnieszka Holland’s 1993 adaptation of The Secret Garden and then on Tuesday night is a screening of Hitchcock’s Rebecca (1940) as part of “Woman’s Month.”

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

“See it Big! Outer Space” continues this weekend with screenings of Alfonso Cuaron’s Gravity on Friday and Sunday and Star Trek: The Motion Picture on Saturday, plus 2001: A Space Odyssey screens on Saturday afternoon, per usual.

BAM CINEMATEK (NYC):

Kelly Reichardt Selects: First Cow In Context ends on Wednesday with Melville’s Le Cercle Rouge.

IFC CENTER (NYC)

Weekend Classics: Luis Buñuel takes a couple more weekends off, while Waverly Midnights: Hindsight is 2020s is showing James McTeigue’s 2005 adaptation of Alan Moore and David Lloyd’s V for Vendetta. Late Night Favorites: Winter 2020 will show Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction.

ROXY CINEMA (NYC)

The Cage run continues with Paul Schrader’s 2016 movie Dog Eat Dog, co-starring Willem Dafoe,on Weds and 2011’s Drive Angry Thursday.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART (LA):

Uh oh, this Friday’s midnight is…the 2019 disaster Cats!

Next week is a busy one with four new wide release ranging from Sony’s Bloodshot, starring Vin Diesel as the Valiant Comics hero, to Blumhouse’s The Hunt, the faith-based Lionsgate film I Still Believe and David Batista’s family comedy My Spy (STXfilms).

By the way, if you read this week’s column and have read this far down, feel free to drop me some thoughts at Edward dot Douglas at Gmail dot Com or send me a note on Twitter. I love hearing from readers!

#TheWeekendWarrior Onward TheWayBack Emma Movies Reviews LimitedReleases Streaming Repertory SorryWeMissedYou TheWildGooseLake

0 notes

totalrockfiend · 5 years

Text

If I HAD to Choose... My Top 10 All-Time Fave KISS Songs (As of Right Now Anyway)

KISS, now entering their 5th decade in existence, is currently chugging along on the End Of The Road Tour.

Billed as their “very last tour ever,” the band is supposedly set to wrap up touring for good after their current End Of The Road outing.

Whether or not this proclamation is in fact the real deal, or simply another not-so-clever marketing scheme, it’s tough to say.

But what’s certain is all the buzz surrounding this supposed Farewell Tour has lit the internet ablaze with “Best of” and “All-time Favorite” KISS album and song postings.

And not that I wish to be branded a “follower,” but never-the-less I can’t resist the urge to chime in with my own assessments on Best of KISS front.

Now, I consider my journey to becoming a KISS fan somewhat distinctive.

I never disliked KISS. Even in the depths of their mid-’80s “uncool” despair, the band always seemed waaaaaaaaaaay too rock+roll to dismiss out of hand.

But I was by no means an active KISS fan. No, there were no KISS Army flirtations in my adolescent background.

That, however, changed. And the moment that “flipped the switch” so to speak for me with regard to KISS?

The mid-’90s KISS cover compilation, KISS My Ass.

Chart-Topping rock outfits, like Lenny Kravitz, Extreme, the Gin Blossoms; metal masters, including Anthrax, Rage Against the Machine, Faith No More; along with underground acts such as Dinosaur Jr, The Mighty Mighty Bostones,Toad The Wet Sprocket, The Lemonheads, Jane's Addition; and even a country superstar, the Chris Gains...er...um....Garth Brooks) all contributed to this masterwork of hard rockin’ tribute record.

Hearing their music out of it’s usual context -- the makeup and posturing and “un-hip” personas -- I was able to absorb the material for what it was: Fan-F*cking-Tastic songs!

And then, I was able to reconcile the makeup and costumes and personas with the music. Which showed me that, just like Cheap Trick, who I’ve loved nearly my whole life long as much for their parsons as their music, KISS has a thing. It just happened that THEIR thing was a bit wackier than most band’s thing (for those bands that even manage to have a “thing”).

And ever since that revelation, I’ve been ALL IN on KISS’s thing.

Anyway, this is a pretty long-winded intro to what I really wanted to blab about...

My Top 10 Fave KISS Tunes (If, gun to my head, I had to choose).

Let’s a lay a little groundwork (yes, more exposition. I know, sheesh!).

First...

For me, KISS had two -and-a-half great runs in the studio album department:

First, their eponymous debut through Dressed to Kill.

Second, Destroyer through Unmasked.

And third, Creatures Of The Night + Lick It Up.

Now, I realize only KISS Alive separates their first two “great runs.” But they’re a decidedly different band, on record, before Alive and after. So I felt compelled to set them apart.

Additionally, the mid-'80s hair metal version of KISS completely lost me. Don't get me wrong, I'm a uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge hair metal fan! But KISS following (or should I say aping) a trend (and doing so very, very badly) just isn’t worthy of the band.

Revenge is decent return to form, but one album a comeback does not make.

And the last two, with Tommy + Eric, are solid, but clearly the band is past it's prime on these two servings. So much so that Paul + Gene have chosen to hang up touring for good. Which likely means no further records with new, original material are likely to be forthcoming.

So, with those caveats out of the way...

Here is my personal Top 10 KISS Song ranking (at least as of today. It's kinda always changing, know what I mean?)

1. Lick It Up -- Vinnie Vincent doing his best Vinnie Vincent + Eric Carr doing his better Eric Carr, whilst Paul wails “LICK IT UP!” I mean, how can you argue with that? Answer, you can’t!

2. Hard Times -- In my humble estimation, this is Ace’s BEST riff on on wax. Others may disagree. But I’m standing firm.

3. Calling Dr. Love -- This was the first song from the KISS My Ass comp that really stuck me. The tune’s rendering on that comp, with it’s whole “strip it down vibe, opened my eye to the fact that this is just a GREAT SONG! And more than anything, GREAT SONGS is what sets KISS apart.

4. Sure Know Something -- Is it disco? Is it R&B? Is Top 40 Radio Pop? Dunno. All I can say for sure is it’s AWESOME!

5. Strutter -- This is the other song on the KISS My Ass comp, interpreted by Extreme, that really GRABBED me! It’s such a rockin’ tune, so full of swagger and overflowing with white hot soul.

6. Parasite -- Though it fails to top Hard Times, the riff on this flat out rocker comes exceptionally close.

7. Shout It Out Loud -- Has there been a better sing along chorus crafted in the history of rock, ever? I think you know the answer to this one...

8. Room Service -- Does anyone pull a better double entendre than Paul Stanley? Don’ think so...

9. Ladies In Waiting -- Well, when it comes to double entendre, maybe Gene Simmons can top his running mate, Paul?

10. Shandi -- OK, OK, I know, I know, it’s unabashed POP. But it’s sooooooooooo good. You can’t help but sing along.

Well, that’s my current fave KISS playlist, track-by-track.

So, what about YOU???

#totalrockfiend kiss genesimmons paulstanley #kissarmy

0 notes

shirlleycoyle · 3 years

Text

How Pizza Took Over Our Freezers

A version of this post originally appeared on Tedium, a twice-weekly newsletter that hunts for the end of the long tail.

You know an industry that had a real comeback during the pandemic? Frozen food. For some reason, the people who didn’t DoorDash felt compelled for the first time in years to eat Healthy Choice, Banquet, and Hungry Man. Frozen food saw its biggest increase in years, with a 21 percent leap in sales in the U.S. alone last year. (In March of 2020, it was a 53 percent year-over-year increase.)

But one frozen food stands crust and pepperoni above the rest. With that in mind, I’d like to focus on one specific kind of food put on ice, the frozen pizza, and why it’s become an icon of prepared American food.

Turn on your science ovens and I’ll see you on the other side.

$5.47B

The size of the frozen pizza market in the U.S. alone in 2020, according to Statista. The report noted that while DiGiorno remains the largest pizza brand in freezers—representing slightly less than a fifth of total sales—private labels take up a significant portion of the pie, above 10 percent.

This is the most important patent in history. In. History. Image: Google Patents

The postwar pizza boom that brought us frozen pies

The idea of making ready-to-cook pizzas is very much an idea that came into its own in the years after World War II. But grocery store pizza didn’t always come in frozen form.

For example, ready-to-cook refrigerated pizzas appeared on the East Coast in 1950, with the first Roma Pizzas first showing up in Boston, then making their way down to New York City later that same year after Bostonians quickly fell in love with the refrigerated pies. The idea, per a 1950 New York Times article, was the brainchild of a guy named Leo Giuffre, whose work helped presage a multi-billion-dollar global industry.

Examples of frozen pizzas showed up around the same time, with one of the earliest patent applications being filed in 1950 and granted in 1954. The invention, by one Joseph Bucci, was intended to get around the problems with quick-freezing dough so that the pizza would have the right texture when cooked. Per the patent filing:

It has been found that even when foods of this category are quick-frozen, and then thawed out, heated and served, unwanted moisture penetrates the doughy mass and renders it soggy, and unpalatable.

It has also been found that certain. doughy constituents of foods, such for instance as the doughy portion of tomato pies as hitherto known, are irregular in consistency and appearance. Thus, for instance, according to present-day practice in making tomato pies, the dough is laid in a pan, and holes are punched in the dough to prevent air bubbles from forming during the rising and baking process. As a result, the dough is irregular in consistency, frequently gummy in some spots: and hard in other spots. In addition, the sauce which is poured over the: dough often penetrates through the punched-out portions and burns against the pan.

One object of my invention therefore, is to provide a frozen food having a doughy constituent adjacent a constituent which is of a moist or liquid consistency when at room temperature, said frozen food being so constituted that unwanted moisture may not penetrate said doughy constituent, regardless of the temperature of the food.

Bucci and Giuffre, however, weren’t the only ones getting in on the sudden demand for easy-to-make pizza at home. A Massachusetts paper had ads for frozen pizza in the early months of 1950, and in Akron, Ohio in 1952, a man named Jack DeLuca took advantage of a summer break in for restaurants in the city to come up with his own line of frozen pizzas, which became popular enough that his pizzas were in 300 shops by the end of that year.

Perhaps the real ground zero of the frozen pizza, however, might be the Chicago area, where a gigging musician named Emil De Salvi came up with Pizza-Fro, a brand of frozen pizza in 1951, and the pizzas had made it to neighboring states in the midwest in the ensuing years. Per one 1954 Chicago Tribune report, De Salvi had sold 5 million pizzas in a two-year period. Not that the data point was cheered on.

“This statistic, of course, is as loathsome as a Liberace joke,” columnist Thomas Morrow wrote. “It gives a man an uneasy stomach to think of these 5 million blobs of dough splattered over the landscape.”

Of course, the main turning point for frozen pizza came when the phenomenon went national—and a Minnesota woman named Rose Totino is widely credited for that success. Having first experienced pizza for the first time when visiting friends in Pennsylvania, she often made it for her friends, according to a 1994 Minnesota Star-Tribune obit. This eventually led Totino to launch an Italian restaurant with her husband Jim, and by 1962, the couple had started making frozen pizzas themselves.

Soon enough, their pizza brand went national, becoming the top-selling brand of frozen pizza in many of the markets where it was located. Eventually, Pillsbury bought the company out in 1975—with Rose Totino successfully convincing the grocery giant to pay $20 million, instead of the $15 million they originally offered.

It was Pillsbury’s first foray in the frozen food aisle—a place where many mealtime battles would be fought in the ensuing years. Frozen pizza was just too hard a market to pass up.

5,600

The number of comments that the USDA received in 1973, after it attempted to set a requirement for the amount of cheese a frozen meat pizza could have. It wanted to set the standard at 12 percent cheese, but a lot of people complained about it, so it left well enough alone. But the dairy industry kept trying, though the public kept complaining. In 1986, the National Milk Producers Federation, which would clearly benefit from more cheese and fewer fillers on the pie, had this to say about the matter: “In the absence of revised standards, USDA continues to permit manufacturers of frozen meat-topped pizza to delude the consuming public.” Political pizza fights are hardcore, guys.

Hi DiGiorno, if you’re reading this I would like you to know that I want you to tweet out my article about frozen pizza, thanks. Image: Liza Lagman Sperl/Flickr

Five key turning points in the frozen pizza aisle

“In strictly frozen-pizza terms, the year 1995 was every bit as momentous as 1066 or 1492,” The New York Times wrote in 2004. See, ’95 was the year that Kraft launched the DiGiorno Pizza, which had a real trump card for grocery store pizza: It had a rising crust. DiGiorno helped reshape the pizza industry by adding a touch of innovation to a genre of food that had been long outplayed by massive pizza chains started by men who owned Detroit sports teams.

Minnesota plays a major role in frozen pizza history. Pizza Rolls, which are manufactured under the Totino’s brand name today, came to life in the 1950s thanks to Jeno Paulucci, a Duluth businessman who used the machine he invented to make egg rolls to put pizza stuff in those rolls instead. His company sold to Pillsbury in the 1980s for $140 million.

Also a key Minnesota pizza success story is Schwan’s, which is best known for selling frozen foods via delivery truck, but also created a popular pizza brand of its own in 1976, when it launched the Red Baron line of pizzas. It was one of the defining pizza brands for decades and a major part of Schwan’s success.

“When pizza’s on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime,” the jingle goes. The guys who came up with that idea—Florida businessmen Bob Mosher and Stan Garczynski—quickly sold the product, invented in 1985, to the Canadian beer company LaBatt, only for Heinz to purchase it in 1991. To this day, Bagel Bites are made in Fort Myers, Florida, the place where the unusual foodstuff got its start 36 years ago.

The Hot Pocket, of course, came to life in the 1980s, when Iranian-born businessmen Paul and David Merage moved from making Belgian waffles into handheld calzones. I wrote a piece about their lives a couple of years ago.

70%

The estimated percentage of pizzas sold in schools that are produced by Schwan, a company with $3 billion in annual sales, according to a 2011 press release published by the company. The firm, as noted in a 2011 BusinessWeek article, was a key voice in getting the USDA to back down on a rule change pushed by former First Lady Michelle Obama that would have changed the way that tomato paste was measured against school nutrition requirements. Two tablespoons of tomato paste is considered the same as a half-cup of vegetables, per federal regulations.

If this material didn’t exist, Elon Musk would have had to invent it. Image: YouTube

Why all the frozen stuff you microwave—including pizzas—has packaging covered in metal and plastic

The secret sauce of frozen pizza—and a lot of other frozen foods—isn’t really a sauce at all.

Instead, it’s plastic. Gray, shiny plastic, mixed with aluminum powder and placed on paperboard, is the thing that makes microwave pizza somewhat crispy instead of a New Miserable Experience.

That wasn’t the first invention that promised crispiness, however. The microwave susceptor, the gray plastic surface used in many kinds of microwaveable foods. The technology was invented by Pillsbury in the 1970s—around the time the company acquired Totino’s—but didn’t find success on the market until the 1980s. In the patent filing granted to Pillsbury, pizza was used as an example of a type of food that benefited from this metallic plastic film layer.

While other forms of packaging had been used to heat food in the past—check out this 1954 patent from Raytheon, a company better known as a major U.S. defense contractor—Pillsbury’s system was different, it said, as it prevented food from getting soggy.

The benefit of a susceptor is that it takes the radiation hitting the packaging and turns it into a tiny oven that helps make the food crisp. And unlike most other technology of its kind, it could be thrown away after you were done eating lunch.

“By contrast with the prior art, one major goal of the present invention is to find a way to provide an inexpensive and disposable microwave food heating container or package useful for shipping, heating and when desired to hold food as it is being eaten as well as to provide an improved method of distributing and heating foods with microwave energy,” the Pillsbury patent, granted in 1980, states.

Hot Pockets would not reach their full potential without microwave susceptors. Image: vandys/Flickr

The susceptor technology, originally designed for the company’s frozen pizzas, quickly became a key element of microwaving anything with bread, with Hot Pockets being perhaps the best-known product to use them. Around 1985, Pillsbury sold retailers on the idea, and soon enough it was everywhere—which helped greatly diversify the number of processed foods being sold in the frozen aisle.

The metal-plus-plastic-plus-paper became such a key part of our microwave experience that it was sold on its own in infomercials. Cathy Mitchell, an iconic As Seen on TV infomercial host, even did a full-hour cooking guide based around Microcrisp, which was literally sold with every bread-based frozen food you could find in stores.

You may hate the nature of processed foods, but the fact of the matter is, for better or worse, the microwave susceptor has done more to change the way we cook foods than any other piece of technology in the last 40 years … with, of course, the exception of the Instant Pot.

And we have frozen pizza to thank for that innovation.

The frozen pizza, an undeniably cheap form of sustenance that is somewhere between ramen and frozen burritos on the Broke College Student Food Pyramid, is a product that makes for a great cultural export.

Heck, some countries have made it their own. According to Atlas Obscura, Norway has gained a deep appreciation for a specific brand of frozen pizza, Grandiosa, which represents more than half of the 47 million frozen pizzas eaten in the country during the twelve-month period in which the earth orbits around the sun.

But given that frozen pizza is basically the world’s greatest example of frozen food’s tendency to bend expectations for what we consider food, it only makes sense that frozen pizzas have continued to evolve in new and unusual ways.

Currently, the fastest-growing brand of frozen pizza in the United States is something called Caulipower, which features a gluten-free crust made of broccoli, obviously. No, I’m lying; it’s Brussels sprouts. No, I’m lying again—it’s cauliflower. (Why did it take me three tries to write the right veggie? Am I a cauliflower skeptic?)

Pizza rolls, in action. Image: zombieite/Flickr

Given that pizzas have already been wrapped in egg rolls, thrown on bagels, wrapped in bread, and used to flavor ice cream, I’m sure that we’ve not seen the last of frozen pizza innovation.

In fact, someone is probably out there creating a vending machine that dishes out fully cooked pizza slices on demand. (I just guessed that someone was making this, and lo and behold, there was a link!)

I know that Carl Sagan sent that golden record into space to let the aliens know what we were like and that we have good taste in music, but what he should have done was sent a frozen pizza into space. It says more about us, as a culture, than pretty much anything else we’ve ever created—food or otherwise.

All hail the frozen pizza.

How Pizza Took Over Our Freezers syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

0 notes

itsfinancethings · 4 years

Link

February 04, 2020 at 10:36PM

President Donald Trump delivered his third State of the Union address before a joint session of Congress on Tuesday night.

Trump’s speech came as his impeachment trial approaches its end — Senators will vote Wednesday on whether or not to remove the President from office.

During Tuesday’s speech, which lasted about an hour and a half, Trump spoke about the economy, healthcare, and border security. He also awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom to conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh.

Trump’s 2020 State of the Union guests included a widow of an American soldier who was killed while serving in Iraq, the brother of a man who was shot and killed by an undocumented immigrant in California, and the Deputy Chief of U.S. Border Patrol.

Democrats brought guests as well: Democratic Rep. Gerry Connolly said that he would bring the fiancée of slain journalist Jamal Khashoggi, while Democratic Rep. Jackie Speier said Monday that she would bring Courtney Wild, a woman who testified in federal court that Jeffrey Epstein sexually abused her.

Some Democrats, including Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York, said they would skip Trump’s State of the Union, citing his ongoing impeachment.

Trump’s speech was followed by a Democratic response from Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, whose priorities while running for governor in 2018 included infrastructure and health care reform.

Read the full transcript of Trump’s 2020 State of the Union address, as prepared for delivery, below:

Madam Speaker, Mr. Vice President, Members of Congress, the First Lady of the United States, and my fellow citizens:

Three years ago, we launched the great American comeback. Tonight, I stand before you to share the incredible results. Jobs are booming, incomes are soaring, poverty is plummeting, crime is falling, confidence is surging, and our country is thriving and highly respected again! America’s enemies are on the run, America’s fortunes are on the rise, and America’s future is blazing bright.

The years of economic decay are over. The days of our country being used, taken advantage of, and even scorned by other nations are long behind us. Gone too are the broken promises, jobless recoveries, tired platitudes, and constant excuses for the depletion of American wealth, power, and prestige.

In just 3 short years, we have shattered the mentality of American decline, and we have rejected the downsizing of America’s destiny. We are moving forward at a pace that was unimaginable just a short time ago, and we are never going back!

I am thrilled to report to you tonight that our economy is the best it has ever been. Our military is completely rebuilt, with its power being unmatched anywhere in the world — and it is not even close. Our borders are secure. Our families are flourishing. Our values are renewed. Our pride is restored. And for all these reasons, I say to the people of our great country, and to the Members of Congress before me: The State of our Union is stronger than ever before!

The vision I will lay out this evening demonstrates how we are building the world’s most prosperous and inclusive society — one where every citizen can join in America’s unparalleled success, and where every community can take part in America’s extraordinary rise.

From the instant I took office, I moved rapidly to revive the United States economy — slashing a record number of job-killing regulations, enacting historic and record-setting tax cuts, and fighting for fair and reciprocal trade agreements. Our agenda is relentlessly pro-worker, pro-family, pro-growth, and, most of all, pro-American. We are advancing with unbridled optimism and lifting high our citizens of every race, color, religion, and creed.

Since my election, we have created 7 million new jobs — 5 million more than Government experts projected during the previous administration.

The unemployment rate is the lowest in over half a century.

Incredibly, the average unemployment rate under my Administration is lower than any administration in the history of our country. If we had not reversed the failed economic policies of the previous administration, the world would not now be witness to America’s great economic success.

The unemployment rates for African-Americans, Hispanic-Americans, and Asian-Americans have reached the lowest levels in history. African-American youth unemployment has reached an all-time low.

African-American poverty has declined to the lowest rate ever recorded.

The unemployment rate for women reached the lowest level in almost 70 years — and last year, women filled 72 percent of all new jobs added.

The veterans’ unemployment rate dropped to a record low.

The unemployment rate for disabled Americans has reached an all-time low.

Workers without a high school diploma have achieved the lowest unemployment rate recorded in United States history.

A record number of young Americans are now employed.

Under the last administration, more than 10 million people were added to the food stamp rolls. Under my Administration, 7 million Americans have come off of food stamps, and 10 million people have been lifted off of welfare.

In 8 years under the last administration, over 300,000 working-age people dropped out of the workforce. In just 3 years of my Administration, 3.5 million working-age people have joined the workforce.

Since my election, the net worth of the bottom half of wage-earners has increased by 47 percent — 3 times faster than the increase for the top 1 percent. After decades of flat and falling incomes, wages are rising fast — and, wonderfully, they are rising fastest for low-income workers, who have seen a 16 percent pay-increase since my election. This is a blue collar boom.

Real median household income is now at the highest level ever recorded!

Since my election, United States stock markets have soared 70 percent, adding more than $12 trillion to our Nation’s wealth, transcending anything anyone believed was possible — this, as other countries are not doing well. Consumer confidence has reached amazing new heights.

All of those millions of people with 401(k)s and pensions are doing far better than they have ever done before with increases of 60, 70, 80, 90, and even 100 percent.

Jobs and investment are pouring into 9,000 previously-neglected neighborhoods thanks to Opportunity Zones, a plan spearheaded by Senator Tim Scott as part of our great Republican tax cuts. In other words, wealthy people and companies are pouring money into poor neighborhoods or areas that have not seen investment in many decades, creating jobs, energy, and excitement. This is the first time that these deserving communities have seen anything like this. It is all working!

Opportunity Zones are helping Americans like Army Veteran Tony Rankins from Cincinnati, Ohio. After struggling with drug addiction, Tony lost his job, his house, and his family — he was homeless. But then Tony found a construction company that invests in Opportunity Zones. He is now a top tradesman, drug-free, reunited with his family, and he is here tonight. Tony: Keep up the great work.

Our roaring economy has, for the first time ever, given many former prisoners the ability to get a great job and a fresh start. This second chance at life is made possible because we passed landmark Criminal Justice Reform into law. Everybody said that Criminal Justice Reform could not be done, but I got it done, and the people in this room got it done.

Thanks to our bold regulatory reduction campaign, the United States has become the number one producer of oil and natural gas in the world, by far. With the tremendous progress we have made over the past 3 years, America is now energy independent, and energy jobs, like so many elements of our country, are at a record high. We are doing numbers that no one would have thought possible just 3 years ago.

Likewise, we are restoring our Nation’s manufacturing might, even though predictions were that this could never be done. After losing 60,000 factories under the previous two administrations, America has now gained 12,000 new factories under my Administration with thousands upon thousands of plants and factories being planned or built. We have created over half a million new manufacturing jobs. Companies are not leaving; they are coming back. Everybody wants to be where the action is, and the United States of America is, indeed, where the action is.

One of the single biggest promises I made to the American people was to replace the disastrous NAFTA trade deal. In fact, unfair trade is perhaps the single biggest reason that I decided to run for President. Following NAFTA’s adoption, our Nation lost one in four manufacturing jobs. Many politicians came and went, pledging to change or replace NAFTA — only to do absolutely nothing. But unlike so many who came before me, I keep my promises. Six days ago, I replaced NAFTA and signed the brand new United States-Mexico-Canada Agreement (USMCA) into law.

The USMCA will create nearly 100,000 new high-paying American auto jobs, and massively boost exports for our farmers, ranchers, and factory workers. It will also bring trade with Mexico and Canada to a much higher degree, but also to a much greater level of fairness and reciprocity. This is the first major trade deal in many years to earn the strong backing of America’s labor unions.

I also promised our citizens that I would impose tariffs to confront China’s massive theft of American jobs. Our strategy worked. Days ago, we signed the groundbreaking new agreement with China that will defend our workers, protect our intellectual property, bring billions of dollars into our treasury, and open vast new markets for products made and grown right here in the United States of America. For decades, China has taken advantage of the United States, now we have changed that but, at the same time, we have perhaps the best relationship we have ever had with China, including with President Xi. They respect what we have done because, quite frankly, they could never believe what they were able to get away with year after year, decade after decade, without someone in our country stepping up and saying: Enough. Now, we want to rebuild our country, and that is what we are doing.

As we restore American leadership throughout the world, we are once again standing up for freedom in our hemisphere. That is why my Administration reversed the failing policies of the previous administration on Cuba. We are supporting the hopes of Cubans, Nicaraguans, and Venezuelans to restore democracy. The United States is leading a 59-nation diplomatic coalition against the socialist dictator of Venezuela, Nicolás Maduro. Maduro is an illegitimate ruler, a tyrant who brutalizes his people. But Maduro’s grip of tyranny will be smashed and broken. Here this evening is a man who carries with him the hopes, dreams, and aspirations of all Venezuelans. Joining us in the gallery is the true and legitimate President of Venezuela, Juan Guaidó. Mr. President, please take this message back to your homeland. All Americans are united with the Venezuelan people in their righteous struggle for freedom! Socialism destroys nations. But always remember, freedom unifies the soul.

To safeguard American Liberty, we have invested a record-breaking $2.2 trillion in the United States Military. We have purchased the finest planes, missiles, rockets, ships, and every other form of military equipment — all made in the United States of America. We are also finally getting our allies to help pay their fair share. I have raised contributions from the other NATO members by more than $400 billion, and the number of allies meeting their minimum obligations has more than doubled.

And just weeks ago, for the first time since President Truman established the Air Force more than 70 years earlier, we created a new branch of the United States Armed Forces, the Space Force.

In the gallery tonight, we have one of the Space Force’s youngest potential recruits: 13-year-old Iain Lanphier, an eighth grader from Arizona. Iain has always dreamed of going to space. He was first in his class and among the youngest at an aviation academy. He aspires to go to the Air Force Academy, and then, he has his eye on the Space Force. As Iain says, “most people look up at space, I want to look down on the world.”

Sitting beside Iain tonight is his great hero. Charles McGee was born in Cleveland, Ohio, one century ago. Charles is one of the last surviving Tuskegee Airmen — the first black fighter pilots — and he also happens to be Iain’s great-grandfather. After more than 130 combat missions in World War II, he came back to a country still struggling for Civil Rights and went on to serve America in Korea and Vietnam. On December 7th, Charles celebrated his 100th birthday. A few weeks ago, I signed a bill promoting Charles McGee to Brigadier General. And earlier today, I pinned the stars on his shoulders in the Oval Office. General McGee: Our Nation salutes you.

From the pilgrims to our Founders, from the soldiers at Valley Forge to the marchers at Selma, and from President Lincoln to the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Americans have always rejected limits on our children’s future.

Members of Congress, we must never forget that the only victories that matter in Washington are victories that deliver for the American people. The people are the heart of our country, their dreams are the soul of our country, and their love is what powers and sustains our country. We must always remember that our job is to put America first!

The next step forward in building an inclusive society is making sure that every young American gets a great education and the opportunity to achieve the American Dream. Yet, for too long, countless American children have been trapped in failing government schools. To rescue these students, 18 States have created school choice in the form of Opportunity Scholarships. The programs are so popular, that tens of thousands of students remain on waiting lists. One of those students is Janiyah Davis, a fourth grader from Philadelphia. Janiyah’s mom Stephanie is a single parent. She would do anything to give her daughter a better future. But last year, that future was put further out of reach when Pennsylvania’s Governor vetoed legislation to expand school choice for 50,000 children.

Janiyah and Stephanie are in the gallery this evening. But there is more to their story. Janiyah, I am pleased to inform you that your long wait is over. I can proudly announce tonight that an Opportunity Scholarship has become available, it is going to you, and you will soon be heading to the school of your choice!

Now, I call on the Congress to give 1 million American children the same opportunity Janiyah has just received. Pass the Education Freedom Scholarships and Opportunity Act — because no parent should be forced to send their child to a failing government school.

Every young person should have a safe and secure environment in which to learn and grow. For this reason, our magnificent First Lady has launched the “Be Best” initiative — to advance a safe, healthy, supportive, and drug-free life for the next generation, online, in school, and in our communities. Thank you, Melania, for your extraordinary love and profound care for America’s children.

My Administration is determined to give our citizens the opportunities they need regardless of age or background. Through our Pledge to American Workers, over 400 companies will also provide new jobs and education opportunities to almost 15 million Americans.

My Budget also contains an exciting vision for our Nation’s high schools. Tonight, I ask the Congress to support our students and back my plan to offer vocational and technical education in every single high school in America.

To expand equal opportunity, I am also proud that we achieved record and permanent funding for our Nation’s Historically Black Colleges and Universities.

A good life for American families also requires the most affordable, innovative, and high-quality healthcare system on Earth. Before I took office, health insurance premiums had more than doubled in just 5 years. I moved quickly to provide affordable alternatives. Our new plans are up to 60 percent less expensive. I have also made an ironclad pledge to American families: We will always protect patients with pre-existing conditions — that is a guarantee. And we will always protect your Medicare and your Social Security.

The American patient should never be blindsided by medical bills. That is why I signed an Executive Order requiring price transparency. Many experts believe that transparency, which will go into full effect at the beginning of next year, will be even bigger than healthcare reform. It will save families massive amounts of money for substantially better care.

But as we work to improve Americans’ healthcare, there are those who want to take away your healthcare, take away your doctor, and abolish private insurance entirely. One hundred thirty-two lawmakers in this room have endorsed legislation to impose a socialist takeover of our healthcare system, wiping out the private health insurance plans of 180 million Americans. To those watching at home tonight, I want you to know: We will never let socialism destroy American healthcare!

Over 130 legislators in this chamber have endorsed legislation that would bankrupt our Nation by providing free taxpayer-funded healthcare to millions of illegal aliens, forcing taxpayers to subsidize free care for anyone in the world who unlawfully crosses our borders. These proposals would raid the Medicare benefits our seniors depend on, while acting as a powerful lure for illegal immigration. This is what is happening in California and other States — their systems are totally out of control, costing taxpayers vast and unaffordable amounts of money. If forcing American taxpayers to provide unlimited free healthcare to illegal aliens sounds fair to you, then stand with the radical left. But if you believe that we should defend American patients and American seniors, then stand with me and pass legislation to prohibit free Government healthcare for illegal aliens!

This will be a tremendous boon to our already very-strongly guarded southern border where, as we speak, a long, tall, and very powerful wall is being built. We have now completed over 100 miles and will have over 500 miles fully completed by early next year.

My Administration is also taking on the big pharmaceutical companies. We have approved a record number of affordable generic drugs, and medicines are being approved by the FDA at a faster clip than ever before. I was pleased to announce last year that, for the first time in 51 years, the cost of prescription drugs actually went down.

And working together, the Congress can reduce drug prices substantially from current levels. I have been speaking to Senator Chuck Grassley of Iowa and others in the Congress in order to get something on drug pricing done, and done properly. I am calling for bipartisan legislation that achieves the goal of dramatically lowering prescription drug prices. Get a bill to my desk, and I will sign it into law without delay.

With unyielding commitment, we are curbing the opioid epidemic — drug overdose deaths declined for the first time in nearly 30 years. Among the States hardest hit, Ohio is down 22 percent, Pennsylvania is down 18 percent, Wisconsin is down 10 percent — and we will not quit until we have beaten the opioid epidemic once and for all.

Protecting Americans’ health also means fighting infectious diseases. We are coordinating with the Chinese government and working closely together on the Coronavirus outbreak in China. My Administration will take all necessary steps to safeguard our citizens from this threat.

We have launched ambitious new initiatives to substantially improve care for Americans with kidney disease, Alzheimer’s, and those struggling with mental health challenges. And because the Congress funded my request, we are pursuing new cures for childhood cancer, and we will eradicate the AIDS epidemic in America by the end of the decade.

Almost every American family knows the pain when a loved one is diagnosed with a serious illness. Here tonight is a special man, someone beloved by millions of Americans who just received a Stage 4 advanced cancer diagnosis. This is not good news, but what is good news is that he is the greatest fighter and winner that you will ever meet. Rush Limbaugh: Thank you for your decades of tireless devotion to our country. Rush, in recognition of all that you have done for our Nation, the millions of people a day that you speak to and inspire, and all of the incredible work that you have done for charity, I am proud to announce tonight that you will be receiving our country’s highest civilian honor, the Presidential Medal of Freedom. I will now ask the First Lady of the United States to please stand and present you with the honor. Rush, Kathryn, congratulations!

As we pray for all who are sick, we know that America is constantly achieving new medical breakthroughs. In 2017, doctors at St. Luke’s hospital in Kansas City delivered one of the earliest premature babies ever to survive. Born at just 21 weeks and 6 days, and weighing less than a pound, Ellie Schneider was born a fighter. Through the skill of her doctors — and the prayers of her parents — little Ellie kept on winning the battle for life. Today, Ellie is a strong, healthy 2-year-old girl sitting with her amazing mother Robin in the gallery. Ellie and Robin: We are so glad you are here.

Ellie reminds us that every child is a miracle of life. Thanks to modern medical wonders, 50 percent of very premature babies delivered at the hospital where Ellie was born now survive. Our goal should be to ensure that every baby has the best chance to thrive and grow just like Ellie. That is why I am asking the Congress to provide an additional $50 million to fund neo-natal research for America’s youngest patients. That is also why I am calling upon the Members of Congress here tonight to pass legislation finally banning the late-term abortion of babies.

Whether we are Republican, Democrat, or Independent, surely we must all agree that every human life is a sacred gift from God!

As we support America’s moms and dads, I was recently proud to sign the law providing new parents in the Federal workforce paid family leave, serving as a model for the rest of the country. Now, I call on the Congress to pass the bipartisan Advancing Support for Working Families Act, extending family leave to mothers and fathers all across the Nation.

Forty million American families have an average $2,200 extra thanks to our child tax credit. I have also overseen historic funding increases for high-quality child care, enabling 17 States to serve more children, many of which have reduced or eliminated their waitlists altogether. And I sent the Congress a plan with a vision to further expand access to high-quality childcare and urge you to act immediately.

To protect the environment, days ago, I announced that the United States will join the One Trillion Trees Initiative, an ambitious effort to bring together Government and the private sector to plant new trees in America and around the world.

We must also rebuild America’s infrastructure. I ask you to pass Senator Barrasso’s highway bill — to invest in new roads, bridges, and tunnels across our land.

I am also committed to ensuring that every citizen can have access to high-speed internet, including rural America.

A better tomorrow for all Americans also requires us to keep America safe. That means supporting the men and women of law enforcement at every level, including our Nation’s heroic ICE officers.

Last year, our brave ICE officers arrested more than 120,000 criminal aliens charged with nearly 10,000 burglaries, 5,000 sexual assaults, 45,000 violent assaults, and 2,000 murders.

Tragically, there are many cities in America where radical politicians have chosen to provide sanctuary for these criminal illegal aliens. In Sanctuary Cities, local officials order police to release dangerous criminal aliens to prey upon the public, instead of handing them over to ICE to be safely removed.

Just 29 days ago, a criminal alien freed by the Sanctuary City of New York was charged with the brutal rape and murder of a 92-year-old woman. The killer had been previously arrested for assault, but under New York’s sanctuary policies, he was set free. If the city had honored ICE’s detainer request, his victim would be alive today.

The State of California passed an outrageous law declaring their whole State to be a sanctuary for criminal illegal immigrants — with catastrophic results.

Here is just one tragic example. In December 2018, California police detained an illegal alien with five prior arrests, including convictions for robbery and assault. But as required by California’s Sanctuary Law, local authorities released him.

Days later, the criminal alien went on a gruesome spree of deadly violence. He viciously shot one man going about his daily work; he approached a woman sitting in her car and shot her in the arm and the chest. He walked into a convenience store and wildly fired his weapon. He hijacked a truck and smashed into vehicles, critically injuring innocent victims. One of the victims of his bloody rampage was a 51-year-old American named Rocky Jones. Rocky was at a gas station when this vile criminal fired eight bullets at him from close range, murdering him in cold blood. Rocky left behind a devoted family, including his brothers who loved him more than anything. One of his grieving brothers is here with us tonight. Jody, would you please stand? Jody, our hearts weep for your loss — and we will not rest until you have justice.

Senator Thom Tillis has introduced legislation to allow Americans like Jody to sue Sanctuary Cities and States when a loved one is hurt or killed as a result of these deadly policies. I ask the Congress to pass the Justice for Victims of Sanctuary Cities Act immediately. The United States of America should be a sanctuary for law-abiding Americans — not criminal aliens!

In the last 3 years, ICE has arrested over 5,000 wicked human traffickers — and I have signed 9 pieces of legislation to stamp out the menace of human trafficking, domestically and around the globe.

My Administration has undertaken an unprecedented effort to secure the southern border of the United States.

Before I came into office, if you showed up illegally on our southern border and were arrested, you were simply released and allowed into our country, never to be seen again. My Administration has ended Catch-and-Release. If you come illegally, you will now be promptly removed. We entered into historic cooperation agreements with the Governments of Mexico, Honduras, El Salvador, and Guatemala. As a result of our unprecedented efforts, illegal crossings are down 75 percent since May — dropping 8 straight months in a row. And as the wall goes up, drug seizures rise, and border crossings go down.

Last year, I traveled to the border in Texas and met Chief Patrol Agent Raul Ortiz. Over the last 24 months, Agent Ortiz and his team have seized more than 200,000 pounds of poisonous narcotics, arrested more than 3,000 human smugglers, and rescued more than 2,000 migrants. Days ago, Agent Ortiz was promoted to Deputy Chief of Border Patrol — and he joins us tonight. Chief Ortiz: Please stand — a grateful Nation thanks you and all the heroes of Border Patrol.

To build on these historic gains, we are working on legislation to replace our outdated and randomized immigration system with one based on merit, welcoming those who follow the rules, contribute to our economy, support themselves financially, and uphold our values.

With every action, my Administration is restoring the rule of law and re-asserting the culture of American freedom. Working with Senate Majority Leader McConnell and his colleagues in the Senate, we have confirmed a record number of 187 new Federal judges to uphold our Constitution as written. This includes two brilliant new Supreme Court Justices, Neil Gorsuch, and Brett Kavanaugh.

My Administration is also defending religious liberty, and that includes the Constitutional right to pray in public schools. In America, we do not punish prayer. We do not tear down crosses. We do not ban symbols of faith. We do not muzzle preachers and pastors. In America, we celebrate faith. We cherish religion. We lift our voices in prayer, and we raise our sights to the Glory of God!

Just as we believe in the First Amendment, we also believe in another Constitutional right that is under siege all across our country. So long as I am President I will always protect your Second Amendment right to keep and bear arms.

In reaffirming our heritage as a free Nation, we must remember that America has always been a frontier nation. Now we must embrace the next frontier, America’s manifest destiny in the stars. I am asking the Congress to fully fund the Artemis program to ensure that the next man and the first woman on the moon will be American astronauts — using this as a launching pad to ensure that America is the first nation to plant its flag on Mars.

My Administration is also strongly defending our national security and combating radical Islamic terrorism. Last week, I announced a groundbreaking plan for peace between Israel and the Palestinians. Recognizing that all past attempts have failed, we must be determined and creative in order to stabilize the region and give millions of young people the change to realize a better future.

Three years ago, the barbarians of ISIS held over 20,000 square miles of territory in Iraq and Syria. Today, the ISIS territorial caliphate has been 100 percent destroyed, and the founder and leader of ISIS — the bloodthirsty killer Al‑Baghdadi — is dead!

We are joined this evening by Carl and Marsha Mueller. After graduating from college, their beautiful daughter Kayla became a humanitarian aid worker. Kayla once wrote, “Some people find God in church. Some people find God in nature. Some people find God in love; I find God in suffering. I’ve known for some time what my life’s work is, using my hands as tools to relieve suffering.” In 2013, while caring for suffering civilians in Syria, Kayla was kidnapped, tortured, and enslaved by ISIS, and kept as a prisoner of Al-Baghdadi himself. After more than 500 horrifying days of captivity, Al-Baghdadi murdered young Kayla. She was just 26 years old.

On the night that United States Special Forces Operators ended Al‑Baghdadi’s miserable life, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Mark Milley, received a call in the Situation Room. He was told that the brave men of the elite Special Forces team, that so perfectly carried out the operation, had given their mission a name — “Task Force 8-14.” It was a reference to a special day: August 14th — Kayla’s birthday. Carl and Marsha, America’s warriors never forgot Kayla — and neither will we.

Every day, America’s men and women in uniform demonstrate the infinite depths of love that dwells in the human heart.

One of these American heroes was Army Staff Sergeant Christopher Hake. On his second deployment to Iraq in 2008, Sergeant Hake wrote a letter to his 1-year-old son, Gage: “I will be with you again,” he wrote to Gage. “I will teach you to ride your first bike, build your first sand box, watch you play sports and see you have kids also. I love you son, take care of your mother. I am always with you. Dad.” On Easter Sunday of 2008, Chris was out on patrol in Baghdad when his Bradley Fighting Vehicle was hit by a roadside bomb. That night, he made the ultimate sacrifice for our country. Sergeant Hake now rests in eternal glory in Arlington, and his wife Kelli is in the gallery tonight, joined by their son, who is now 13 years old. To Kelli and Gage: Chris will live in our hearts forever.

The terrorist responsible for killing Sergeant Hake was Qasem Soleimani, who provided the deadly roadside bomb that took Chris’s life. Soleimani was the Iranian Regime’s most ruthless butcher, a monster who murdered or wounded thousands of American service members in Iraq. As the world’s top terrorist, Soleimani orchestrated the deaths of countless men, women, and children. He directed the December assault on United States Forces in Iraq, and was actively planning new attacks. That is why, last month, at my direction, the United States Military executed a flawless precision strike that killed Soleimani and terminated his evil reign of terror forever.

Our message to the terrorists is clear: You will never escape American justice. If you attack our citizens, you forfeit your life!

In recent months, we have seen proud Iranians raise their voices against their oppressive rulers. The Iranian regime must abandon its pursuit of nuclear weapons, stop spreading terror, death, and destruction, and start working for the good of its own people. Because of our powerful sanctions, the Iranian economy is doing very poorly. We can help them make it very good in a short period of time, but perhaps they are too proud or too foolish to ask for that help. We are here. Let’s see which road they choose. It is totally up to them.

As we defend American lives, we are working to end America’s wars in the Middle East.

In Afghanistan, the determination and valor of our warfighters has allowed us to make tremendous progress, and peace talks are underway. I am not looking to kill hundreds of thousands of people in Afghanistan, many of them innocent. It is also not our function to serve other nations as a law enforcement agency. These are warfighters, the best in the world, and they either want to fight to win or not fight at all. We are working to finally end America’s longest war and bring our troops back home!

War places a heavy burden on our Nation’s extraordinary military families, especially spouses like Amy Williams from Fort Bragg, North Carolina, and her 2 children — 6-year-old Elliana and 3-year-old Rowan. Amy works full time, and volunteers countless hours helping other military families. For the past 7 months, she has done it all while her husband, Sergeant First Class Townsend Williams, is in Afghanistan on his fourth deployment to the Middle East. Amy’s kids have not seen their father’s face in many months. Amy, your family’s sacrifice makes it possible for all of our families to live in safety and peace — we thank you.

As the world bears witness tonight, America is a land of heroes. This is the place where greatness is born, where destinies are forged, and where legends come to life. This is the home of Thomas Edison and Teddy Roosevelt, of many great Generals, including Washington, Pershing, Patton, and MacArthur. This is the home of Abraham Lincoln, Frederick Douglass, Amelia Earhart, Harriet Tubman, the Wright Brothers, Neil Armstrong, and so many more. This is the country where children learn names like Wyatt Earp, Davy Crockett, and Annie Oakley. This is the place where the pilgrims landed at Plymouth and where Texas patriots made their last stand at the Alamo.

The American Nation was carved out of the vast frontier by the toughest, strongest, fiercest, and most determined men and women ever to walk the face of the Earth. Our ancestors braved the unknown; tamed the wilderness; settled the Wild West; lifted millions from poverty, disease, and hunger; vanquished tyranny and fascism; ushered the world to new heights of science and medicine; laid down the railroads, dug out canals, raised up the skyscrapers — and, ladies and gentlemen, our ancestors built the most exceptional Republic ever to exist in all of human history. And we are making it greater than ever before!

This is our glorious and magnificent inheritance.

We are Americans. We are the pioneers. We are the pathfinders. We settled the new world, we built the modern world, and we changed history forever by embracing the eternal truth that everyone is made equal by the hand of Almighty God.

America is the place where anything can happen! America is the place where anyone can rise. And here, on this land, on this soil, on this continent, the most incredible dreams come true!

This Nation is our canvas, and this country is our masterpiece. We look at tomorrow and see unlimited frontiers just waiting to be explored. Our brightest discoveries are not yet known. Our most thrilling stories are not yet told. Our grandest journeys are not yet made. The American Age, the American Epic, the American Adventure, has only just begun!

Our spirit is still young; the sun is still rising; God’s grace is still shining; and my fellow Americans, the best is yet to come!

Thank you. God Bless You. God Bless America.

#IFTTT #Blogger

0 notes

mancitynoise · 5 years

Link

It is the afternoon of September 23rd 1989 and Manchester City winger David White has just looped a high, long cross plumb onto the forehead of Andy Hinchcliffe. The left-back meets the ball with such force he scores with what is essentially a diving header despite remaining upright until landing. Jim Leighton in nets knows he is beaten on impact and simply falls to his knees in lieu of attempting the spectacular.

A City side containing five home-grown kids had just gone 5-1 up against big spending Manchester United and Maine Road erupted in what can only be described as incredulous bedlam.

Nobody expected the blue half of Manchester to emerge victorious from this derby and only the clinically insane predicted such a walloping and perhaps that is hardly surprising given that the game’s time-stamp pre-empts the transformative effects of City’s takeover by nineteen full years. Some context however is required here.

Back in 1989 United were anything but the trophy-gobbling dominant force they would soon become. The Premier League was still a pipedream of the elite and Sir Alex Ferguson was plainly Alex Ferguson, an under-fire manager who that summer had been furnished with £9m to overhaul a perfectly ordinary squad that had limped to 11th in two of his previous three years in England.

It was – at the time – a colossal outlay that represented a very expensive last roll of the dice and included a world record fee for a defender (Gary Pallister) and a domestic record fee for a central midfielder (Paul Ince). What is more, it was a risk that nearly didn’t come off with striker Mark Robins famously saving Fergie’s hide that January with a FA Cup goal that stopped the axe from falling.

That season United eventually finished a lowly 13th while City finished 14th. Only goal difference separated the pair.

Yet when Hinchcliffe’s thundering header rippled the net that autumn afternoon City supporters lost their senses in wild celebration of an unexpected underdog victory that was both meaningful and somehow moral. It was a temporary toppling of a giant and the event was considered so special it sustained Blues through the many dark days to come. Personally speaking it remains one of the top three footballing moments of my life.

The above is mentioned in detail to highlight what came next. Because if that was the extremity of the narrative that accompanied a derby of near equals just imagine what it was like consequently for City supporters when their hated foe got their act together and conquered the globe. From that year forward the respective trajectories of the Manchester clubs could not have contrasted more with United bossing the Premier League for two decades, winning two Champions Leagues and taking a seat at the establishment table, while City shot themselves in the foot more times than a man who had surgically replaced a hand with a gun and eternally pointed it downwards.

Throughout those polarising years reputations became entrenched. United were glory-hunting plastics who resided largely in Surrey. City were ‘Citeh’, a bitter tribe forever in the dumps; a relative pauper so down on their luck that United took great glee is taking faux-pity on them while only acknowledging Liverpool and Arsenal as rivals.

Subsequently derbies became less David vs Goliath and more akin to a farm-boy and his two droids taking on the Death Star. Only this was real life, not a box-office phenomenon.

There were still some memorable wins of course; four to be precise, spread across an eighteen year abyss but dwarfed by fifteen losses, some of which were comprehensive to say the least. Those rare victories were cherished, fabled: their importance exaggerated to the extent that some Blues insisted they’d be willing to endure relegation if it might bloody the nose of their neighbouring behemoth over the course of ninety minutes. I never went that far. But I came close.

“Not in my lifetime.” Those were the words spoken by Sir Alex Ferguson in September 2009 when a reporter had the temerity to ask if Manchester United would ever go into a derby as the underdogs. By now the landscape of Mancunian football was changing dramatically with a shifting of power deriving from Manchester City’s takeover by ADUG and a monumental investment in personnel. United meanwhile were merely ticking along nicely, though worries lingered about the imminent retirement of their greatest ever coach.

At first United held firm, prevailing through a League Cup semi-final across two legs and then there was that infamous 4-3 at Old Trafford with Michael Owen snatching a late, late winner. As satisfying as these moments must have been for United fans – and as heart-breaking as they were for Blues – they still felt like a last stand.

Manchester City have entered twelve from the last thirteen derbies as favourites, quite often firmly so. It’s a remarkable transfer of status that began with a FA Cup semi-final triumph at Wembley in 2011 then reached a solidifying stature through a 6-1 battering at Old Trafford that brought humiliation but sadly not humility to the Red tribe. In 2013, after another one-sided affair at Old Trafford, a manager of Manchester United – David Moyes – came out post-match and stated that his club ‘aspired’ to be at City’s level.

Moyes’ comment invoked widespread fury among the red fan-base due to its foregoing of pride but last year they similarly forgot themselves, celebrating a 3-2 comeback at the Etihad as if they’d won the league. In the new reality their win only postponed for seven days City actually winning the title.

On Twitter this past week I have seen United supporters talk of the levelling that comes from derby games. I have seen them admit to being underdogs and hoping for that underdog spirit to count.

These words took me right back, though not with much nostalgia. In any case, Ferguson’s 2009 prophecy has been firmly disproved as United travel to the Etihad Stadium this Sunday six places, nine points and 14 goals behind their bitter rivals after just eleven games.

#FootballFanCast #News

1 note · View note

mlmcompanies · 6 years

Link

When you see a legal advisor embroiled in ongoing legal battles, you can’t help but wonder…

If they’re the real deal, why can’t they defend themselves?

But LegalShield may finally have their act together. The question now is whether you can make any money with this MLM.

LegalShield was once a big, bad, publicly-traded company with a network marketing opportunity on the New York Stock Exchange…until they went private faster than a celebrity in rehab.

Judging from some of their past scandals and legal troubles, going private was definitely a smart move. But are they worth joining? We’ll let you decide.

FAQ

1. What does LegalShield sell? LegalShield gives access to affordable legal coverage to its members, no matter how traumatic or trivial the situation. They’re the No. 1 subscription-based provider of legal plans to families and small businesses across the U.S. and Canada.

2. What are LegalShield’s most popular products? LegalShield’s Personal Legal Plan costs about the same as a dinner out ($24.95/month) and gives you coverage for you, your spouse or partner, and your children. Included with your membership are advice, letters/phone calls on your behalf, legal document review, standard will preparation, 24/7 emergency assistance, and trial defense services. Another popular service is ID Shield, which protects your identity, including customized alerts, complete identity monitoring, credit scores, and unlimited consultation.

3. How much does it cost to join LegalShield? It costs $99 plus any applicable state licensing fees to become a LegalShield associate. This gives you an Associate Start-Up Kit with brochures and applications so you can begin your business right away.

4. Is LegalShield a scam? No, LegalShield is a legitimate business with 1.7 million members in 50 states and 4 provinces. They have provider law firms across the United States and Canada, so the legal support you get comes from a lawyer who’s well acquainted with your local laws and regulations. What does feel scammy is the lack of full disclosure about becoming an Associate and how much you can earn. If it’s such a great opportunity, why aren’t they more forthcoming with information about how to join?

5. What is LegalShield’s BBB rating? A+

6. How long has LegalShield been in business? Since 1972

7. What is LegalShield’s revenue? $457 million

8. How many LegalShield distributors are there? 287,812

9. What lawsuits have been filed? In 2001, Wyoming came down on Pre-Paid Legal Services (which was LegalShield’s original name) for making income representations that were prohibited by Wyoming law. [1] The SEC also required them to stop counting commissions as assets instead of expenses. Complying with their ruling essentially cut their reported earnings by more than half. [2] In 2005, LegalShield lost a case related to deceptive advertising and fraud and paid $9.9 million in punitive damages. [3] In 2007, the FTC began investigating their marketing, saying it was misleading. Fortunately for LegalShield, in 2010 the investigation ended without any action. [4] In 2018, LC Technology International filed a proposed class action against Harvard Risk Management and LegalShield for sending unlawful, unsolicited fax messages as part of a pyramid sales scheme. [5]

10. Comparable companies: Market America, Life Leadership, Primerica

So should you join LegalShield?

I’m not a hater of the company at all, there’s definitely a market for legal advice and resources. But as far as passive income opportunities go, there are better options out there.

Click here for my #1 recommendation

Either way, here’s the full review on LegalShield.

Overview

LegalShield was founded in 1972 under the name Sportsman’s Motor Club in Ada, Oklahoma. A couple of years later, they changed their name to Pre-Paid Legal and went public, selling its shares on the New York Stock Exchange.

In 2011, the company was acquired by MidOcean Partners, a private equity firm worth $3.5 billion, for $650 million. They then went private and changed their name to LegalShield. In 2011, before they went private, they were raking in an annual revenue of $461 million. [6]

Back in 2001, they were hit twice by the law – first by the state of Wyoming for misrepresenting distributor earnings, and again by the SEC for counting commissions as assets to inflate their stock prices. They also faced legal troubles in Missouri that year. [7]

In 2009, they were subpoenaed by the SEC for various documents which were never sent over to the SEC despite multiple demands. After that, the FTC filed a complaint against LegalShield for multiple violations, including misleading representations. [8]

Jeff Bell is LegalShield’s new CEO, and this guy is no joke.

Bell got his MBA from none other than the Wharton School of Business back in 1989. He’s worked in key positions at Ford Motors, Chrysler, NBCUniversal, Advertising Age, where he won them their first-ever Online Marketer of the Year award in 2005, and Microsoft, where he oversaw the launch of Halo 3, among other major releases, as Vice President of Global. [9, 10]

He’s got decades of experience in marketing and advertising at some of the world’s biggest corporations, and he was named as LegalShield’s new leader in 2014. [11]

Hopefully, he can replicate his success in the world of multi-level marketing. This will be his first MLM, but maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe his credentials can fend off the FTC.

So maybe he can turn their rep around. However, in March of 2016, he made the decision to leave the Direct Selling Association, the regulatory body that pretty much ensures that an MLM is at least semi-legit (see the full MLM rankings here).

Bell claims their decision to leave the DSA is because the DSA actually isn’t enforcing its own Code of Ethics against other MLMs who are clearly breaking it, and thus is weakening the direct selling industry as a whole. Wouldn’t be the first time. [12]

As of January 2016, LegalShield membership began a steady increase, hitting 1,612,183 members before the end of the year. Now, they’re over 1.7 million members. Smells like a comeback.

How much does LegalShield cost?

At the time of writing this, it costs $99 for a New Associate Start-Up Kit, which includes online training, materials, sponsor support, a back office, and a few other perks.

Products

LegalShield sells legal services, in case their name didn’t tip you off. They claim to offer direct and affordable access to law firms.

They have a network of almost 7,000 independent attorneys throughout the United States and Canada who offer these services. For your monthly membership fee, which varies by state but usually comes out to just under $25/month, you get:

Legal Advice: If you ever need advice or consultation from a legal representative, you always have one at your service.

Legal Representation: In the case that you should need legal representation, you have their independent attorneys at your disposal.

Automotive Defense: Accident defense and moving violation assistance.

Familial and IRS Legal Services: This covers everything from divorce and name changes to IRS audits.

Considering legal advice can cost hundreds, and representation from an attorney can cost anywhere from $150-$500 per hour, it’s not a bad deal.

The company also now sells identity theft protection services starting at $9.95/month. The basic plan covers you and a spouse, and includes:

Credit report and credit score analysis

Credit restoration

Unlimited ID theft consultations

Minor protection

Credit monitoring and alerts

Honestly, if you have even a halfway decent bank or own a credit card, you probably already have access to all of these services for free.

Compensation Plan

You’re selling a monthly membership, and when you get a new customer, LegalShield pays you an advance for a year’s worth of that customer’s membership. Sounds great, right? Yeah, until that customer decides to cancel, and you have to pay back a huge chunk of that advance.

The compensation plan is nowhere to be found on their website, and the information you can find is very vague. It doesn’t list any specific commission rates.

There are four ways to earn:

Personal Sales

You make a percentage on each membership you sell, which varies by rank. This is roughly what you can make, according to rank:

Junior Associate: Up to 50%

Associate: Up to $75 on each sale

Senior Associate: Up to $100 on each sale

Manager: Up to $125 on each sale

Director: Up to $150 on each sale

Executive Director: Up to $182.50 on each sale

These numbers look generous, but remember, they are advances on 12 months of membership payments. Also, it’s very, very difficult to move up even past Junior Associate, let alone all the way to director levels.

Build a Team

Team commissions are offered in the form of bonuses for every membership they sell. Exact numbers are not specified.

Residual Income

After a membership that you’ve sold lasts a year, you make a monthly commission on each month they stay active. Whether or not this commission is the same as before isn’t stated, but this is basically number one rehashed.

Performance Club

Each time you sell memberships and recruit new associates, you earn points. If you earn enough (fat chance), you can start earning cash bonuses and prizes.

Recap

The company is not without their scandals. They’ve got a pretty colorful history, to say the least.

However, it seems that the worst might be over for them. They’ve survived dozens of legal battles, and since going private, they’ve only had one claim made against them. (It looks pretty frivolous; they’ll probably pull it out.) On top of that, they’re being run by a rock star CEO, and so far, he’s doing good things for the company.

That being said, the commission plan is vague, at best. It’s really not clear how much money you’d make as an associate. One thing that is clear – you’re probably not getting rich here.

I’ve been involved with network marketing for over ten years so I know what to look for when you consider a new opportunity.

After reviewing 200+ business opportunities and systems out there, here is the one I would recommend:

Click here for my #1 recommendation

#MLM companies #network marketing companies

0 notes

antionetterparker · 6 years

Text

LegalShield: Are their legal services really legal? [Review]

When you see a legal advisor embroiled in ongoing legal battles, you can’t help but wonder…

If they’re the real deal, why can’t they defend themselves?

But LegalShield may finally have their act together. The question now is whether you can make any money with this MLM.

LegalShield was once a big, bad, publicly-traded company with a network marketing opportunity on the New York Stock Exchange…until they went private faster than a celebrity in rehab.

Judging from some of their past scandals and legal troubles, going private was definitely a smart move. But are they worth joining? We’ll let you decide.

FAQ

5. What is LegalShield’s BBB rating? A+

6. How long has LegalShield been in business? Since 1972

7. What is LegalShield’s revenue? $457 million

8. How many LegalShield distributors are there? 287,812

10. Comparable companies: Market America, Life Leadership, Primerica

So should you join LegalShield?

I’m not a hater of the company at all, there’s definitely a market for legal advice and resources. But as far as passive income opportunities go, there are better options out there.

Click here for my #1 recommendation

Either way, here’s the full review on LegalShield.

Overview

Jeff Bell is LegalShield’s new CEO, and this guy is no joke.

He’s got decades of experience in marketing and advertising at some of the world’s biggest corporations, and he was named as LegalShield’s new leader in 2014. [11]

Hopefully, he can replicate his success in the world of multi-level marketing. This will be his first MLM, but maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe his credentials can fend off the FTC.

As of January 2016, LegalShield membership began a steady increase, hitting 1,612,183 members before the end of the year. Now, they’re over 1.7 million members. Smells like a comeback.

How much does LegalShield cost?

At the time of writing this, it costs $99 for a New Associate Start-Up Kit, which includes online training, materials, sponsor support, a back office, and a few other perks.

Products

LegalShield sells legal services, in case their name didn’t tip you off. They claim to offer direct and affordable access to law firms.

Legal Advice: If you ever need advice or consultation from a legal representative, you always have one at your service.

Legal Representation: In the case that you should need legal representation, you have their independent attorneys at your disposal.

Automotive Defense: Accident defense and moving violation assistance.

Familial and IRS Legal Services: This covers everything from divorce and name changes to IRS audits.

Considering legal advice can cost hundreds, and representation from an attorney can cost anywhere from $150-$500 per hour, it’s not a bad deal.

The company also now sells identity theft protection services starting at $9.95/month. The basic plan covers you and a spouse, and includes:

Credit report and credit score analysis

Credit restoration

Unlimited ID theft consultations

Minor protection

Credit monitoring and alerts

Honestly, if you have even a halfway decent bank or own a credit card, you probably already have access to all of these services for free.

Compensation Plan

The compensation plan is nowhere to be found on their website, and the information you can find is very vague. It doesn’t list any specific commission rates.

There are four ways to earn:

Personal Sales

You make a percentage on each membership you sell, which varies by rank. This is roughly what you can make, according to rank:

Junior Associate: Up to 50%

Associate: Up to $75 on each sale

Senior Associate: Up to $100 on each sale

Manager: Up to $125 on each sale

Director: Up to $150 on each sale

Executive Director: Up to $182.50 on each sale

Build a Team

Team commissions are offered in the form of bonuses for every membership they sell. Exact numbers are not specified.

Residual Income

Performance Club

Each time you sell memberships and recruit new associates, you earn points. If you earn enough (fat chance), you can start earning cash bonuses and prizes.

Recap

The company is not without their scandals. They’ve got a pretty colorful history, to say the least.

That being said, the commission plan is vague, at best. It’s really not clear how much money you’d make as an associate. One thing that is clear – you’re probably not getting rich here.

I’ve been involved with network marketing for over ten years so I know what to look for when you consider a new opportunity.

After reviewing 200+ business opportunities and systems out there, here is the one I would recommend:

Click here for my #1 recommendation

via https://mlmcompanies.org/legalshield/

0 notes

sheminecrafts · 6 years

Text

Is the world ready for the return of the PDA?

I want to live in the Gemini’s universe. It’s one where the promise of on-demand hardware has been fulfilled. Where crowfunding, rapid prototyping, scalable manufacturing all of those good things have improved our lives by giving us the devices we both want and need. It’s the utopian dream of 2011, fully realized.

In the Gemini universe, the PDA never went away. It simply adapted. All of those irritated anti-touch typers had nothing to complain about. Sure, the iPhone still moved a billion units, because Apple, but the physical keyboard simply evolved alongside it, because tech should adapt to people and not the other way around.

Of course, the realities of technological Darwinism are much darker, and every half decade or so, there’s an extinction-level event, and Apple’s smartphone hit the earth like football field-sized asteroid covered in the bubonic plague. Over the past 10 years, many have and tried and all have failed to address the shrinking, but vocal niche of consumers bemoaning the death of the physical keyboard.

Many of us, myself included, fell in love with the Gemini at first sight when we spotted it across the room at CES. It wasn’t the hardware or the execution, so much as the idea. And, of course, we weren’t alone. When an astonishing 6,200 people came together to pledge $2.2 million on Indiegogo to help bring it to life, it was clear London-based Planet Computers had struck a chord.

And with both Nokia and BlackBerry having waged comebacks of sorts (albeit through licensing deals), it seems the iPhone’s 10th anniversary has been the perfect time to revel in a bit of mobile nostalgia. People have gone utterly gaga over the 3310 — clearly there must also be space in amongst this smartphone fatigue where a PDA can positively flourish.

In one sense, it almost didn’t matter what the final hardware looked like, this felt like a kind of bellwether. But in a larger and more important sense, of course it did. When it comes to consumer electronics, people don’t buy ideas, they by hardware. And in the cold, harsh light of day, the Gemini is a far more exciting concept that it is an actual product.

The product is a return of sorts for the Psion 5, with some of that clamshell’s designs back on board. And indeed, the device takes more than a few design cues from that 20-plus-year-old piece of hardware. The build itself is a bit of a mixed bag, here. It’s solid, but the clamshell ensures that it’s big and bulky, compared to standard smartphones with similarly sized screens (5.9-inch).

It’s not much to look at from the outside, with a plain metal casing, through there are some innovative touches here, including a break in the top that can be plied open to access the device’s innards, using compatible tools. The lid flips open, with a nice, satisfying motion, but screen’s hinge feels loose, moving each time you interact with the touchscreen. It would have also been nice to have the display open at different angles, but there are only two positions here: opened and closed.

As for typing, well, if you’re among the vast majority of mobile users have made the leap to touchscreen typing, you’re going to have to unlearn those skills. My own typing on the keyboard is nowhere close to what I’m able to achieve on a touchscreen these days. For a few fleeting moments, I entertained the idea of writing this review on the thing, but almost immediately backed down, when I found it difficult to type even a sentence right the first time.

The device’s size makes for an extremely cramped keyboard, in which many of the keys have to do double duty. But the width and girth of the device itself means there aren’t too many scenarios in which using the keyboard make a whole lot of sense. Attempting to type while holding it feels like an almost acrobatic feat. Really, a flat surface, like a desk, is your best bet, at which point you’re left wondering why you didn’t simply shell out the money for a real laptop. The ability to dual-boot Linux and the inclusion of a healthy 64GB of storage are interesting cases for the product as more of a small computer than a massive phone, that, of course, is ultimately hampered by the small display with smartphone dimensions.

That gets at what is perhaps a larger issue here. It’s unclear which problems the device is looking to solve in a world of ubiquitous slate phones and low-cost laptops and tablets. There aren’t ultimately all that many scenarios in which the throwback makes more sense than the hundreds of other available options, so it’s hard to recommend this as either a primary phone or laptop in 2018.

Perhaps many of its issues can be chalked up to first-generation hardware issues. There’s a lot to be said for the mere fact that the company was able to deliver a product in the first place. The Gemini certainly works as a compelling niche device, and it would be great to see Planet explore this idea further.

Anything that frees us from the oppression of nearly identical handsets is a victory in and of itself. As I said earlier, I want to live a world where devices like the Gemini can peacefully coexist with more mainstream devices. I just won’t be using it as my phone any time soon.

from iraidajzsmmwtv https://ift.tt/2HB2n71 via IFTTT

#IFTTT #iraidajzsmmwtv

0 notes

1nebest · 6 years

Text

Is the world ready for the return of the PDA?

0 notes

theampreviews · 7 years

Text

Favorite Films of 2016

2016 will probably be remembered more for its big budget flops like Ghostbusters, Alice Through The Looking Glass, The Legend of Tarzan, The Huntsman than for any breakout hits, outside of the obvious annual clock-punchers from Marvel and Lucas Film. From a distance a brace of Summer duds can unfairly colour a year, and that’s certainly the case for me. Aside from (and sometimes including) these under-performing, perceived failures, there was some absolute gold among the silt.

Will Smith (and more to the point, his wife) throwing toys out the pram over the lack of an Academy Award nomination for Concussion [30] took away from what was an admirably thoughtful film about the heath issues plaguing the NFL. Sure, it was always Leo’s year, but he deserved to be in the conversation at the very least (although to be fair to the Academy, not making the final 5 doesn’t mean he wasn’t).

Paramount continue to deliver under appreciated brilliance with the 3rd in their rebooted franchise, Star Trek: Beyond [29] hit all the right notes for a summer sci-fi blockbuster; fast, fun and frivolous. People complained it felt like an extended episode, but that’s exactly why I liked it, I’ve had enough of world building, just show me a good time. They also had another zinger at the start of the year with Michael Bay’s underrated 13 Hours [28]. Chances are his name alone, attached to a military action/drama, was enough to put audiences off, but they missed a trick skipping this one. He may be off-puttingly jingoistic, but he even managed to temper that somewhat here, whilst delivering action set-pieces that put most others to shame.

Another notable failure of the year was Natalie Portman’s Jane Got A Gun [27]. It’s one of those “development hell” cautionary tales yet, it didn’t show its scars for me. I’m a big fan of Westerns and this one kept things intimate & lean, and all the better for it. The opposite of that, and another of the years casualties, was Duncan Jones’ Warcraft [26]. A (likely) failed franchise starter based on the oddly popular role play game, this was a hulking great bowl full of cinematic jelly & icecream that few bothered with. It certainly showed that The Hobbit likely killed off any notions of Fantasy’s great comeback. It’s a shame because amongst the ridiculousness, Jones managed to put some life behind the eyes of his CGI characters in a way that is desperately lacking in the craft (I’m staring you straight in your dead Peter Cushing eyes, Disney).

Far smaller in scale (and finding a far smaller audience) was Elvis & Nixon [25], the Michael Shannon/Kevin Spacey comedy about the meeting behind the most requested photo in the White House archives. Shannon seemed unlikely casting for The King in a visual sense, but he finds ways to convey the spirit of Elvis (from what we know of him) that allows for the lack of physical likeness. Spacey, a familiar face in that room thanks to House Of Cards, is a far cry from finding the depths of Nixon that Anthony Hopkins did, but he’s fun in the role and the two enjoy a great chemistry behind their masks.

Don’t call it a comeback (people will yell at you), but seeing Mel Gibson back on screen in 2016 was a heartwarming delight. Blood Father [24] was a nice beefed-up throwback to the sort of films he made back in the 80s and 90s with one eye on the Liam Neeson market. A story of a loathsome alcoholic putting himself in harms way for redemption may have been a little on the nose for those that have no time for him, but they likely didn’t see it anyway. Nor did many make the trip to see another star of the 20-30 years past take a stab at the aging action hero in Kevin Costner’s batty Criminal [23]. The preposterous story of murderous psychopath being the only viable candidate for a dead Ryan Reynolds memory transplant, Criminal was loopy enough to rise above its own absurdity. It was also filmed in Croydon, adding to the whole whatthefuckness of it all. I had a blast with this one.

A Bigger Splash [22] is one of those meandering films that does very little but won me over thanks to Ralph Fiennes being absolutely bloody marvelous. I’ve really taken to his latter day renaissance as a fine comedic actor. I’ve also taken greatly to Kiwi Comedy, and Hunt For The Wilderpeople [21] carries on their fine tradition of distinctly idiosyncratic humor that can be as heartfelt as it is hilarious, with a touching and delightful performance from newcomer Julian Dennison. Lenny Abrahamson also managed to balance both the traumatic and the sentimental perfectly, with a standout performance from the mini Jacob Tremblay, in Room [20]. As a huge fan of the …Top Model TV show (Australia, America, Britain in order of preference) I found Nicholas Winding Refn’s absurd psycho-horror The Neon Demon [19] a highly amusing satire on the fashion world. And there’s no denying he creates visually arresting films. I laughed my arse off at the ending, not sure if that was the desired reaction or not, but it worked for me. So to did Ben Wheatley’s immaculate construction of a simple metaphor, High-Rise [18], a tribute to decadence & squalor was one of those films that entertains as it confounds. Hiddleston, Miller and Evans were all superb.

Hollywood reconstructions of real-life tragedies can often feel clumsy and exploitative but credit where it’s due, Peter Berg kept the glorifying heroics to a minimum (mercifully devoid of slow-mo) with Deepwater Horizon [17] and worked on delivering an effective build up to a chaotic and intense finale. Speaks volumes that the tech-heavy opening half is as gripping as the explosive stuff, if not more so. For a subject that could feel a lot like homework, Adam McKay also made a bold and brash film out of The Big Short [16] that did a good job of explaining itself in entertaining ways and ended up being an incendiary and surprisingly emotional account of one of recent history’s most colossal financial tragedy. Bale’s Oscar nod was well deserved.

Deniz Gamze Erguven and his superb young cast tackled the depressing truths of life as a young girl in a strict Muslim country in Mustang [15] and breathed a commendable amount life and vitality into it. What could have been a grim tale of patriarchal oppression becomes a spirited bid for freedom. Wonderful film.

Amusing and emotional, the pairing of Michael Caine and Harvey Keitel looking back on lives lived and/or wasted worked wonders for me. A heady mix of regret and sensuality with segways into the sublime and the ridiculous, Youth [14] was a sensory cocktail. Rachel Weisz was the standout, one of my favourite performances of the year.

On paper, Captain Fantastic [13] looked like a Wes Anderson wannabe, touchy-feely cringe fest but, despite appearances, this was one of the most affecting films I saw all year. Put me in a brilliant mood, and that’s worth celebrating. As did The Jungle Book [12]. This was pure joy; an old fashioned story told with the very best technology the industry has to offer, without losing any of its heart or soul. Sets the standard for all future Disney live action adaptions. Bravo, Favs!

With Boyhood leaving me pretty cold, aside from an appreciation of the impressive production scale, I was glad to see Richard Linklater revisit Dazed and Confused (always my favourite of his films) by way of an anthology-style sequel in Everybody Wants Some!! [11]. Following a group of two-track minded Jocks (Baseball & Women) this became a casualty of the super-Woke climate of 2016, but I frigging loved it. Good to see more of the promising Wyatt Russell and a (should have been) star making turn from Glen Powell. One of the best feel-good Comedies I’ve seen in an age.

Hell Or High Water [10] was an incredibly simple story of Cops n Robbers incredibly well told. Sometimes, that’s all it takes. (It also featured the years most satisfying beatdowns)

Tobias Lindholm is one of my favourite filmmakers to emerge in recent years; writer of The Hunt and director of A Hijaking, two of my favourite films of 2012 (numbers 1 & 3 respectively). A War (Krigen) [09], staring A Hijacking’s brilliant Pilou Asbaek, is a taught drama covering the trial of a Danish Commander accused of an illegal killing (or, civil murder) in Afghanistan. Frustrating and engrossing in equal measure, this is the type of honest, contemplative war films rarely seen in Hollywood.

With all the dust settled on the DiCaprio Oscar Campaign, The Revenant [08] stands tall as a devilishly engrossing revenge thriller that’s as linear and explosive as any Hollywood Action Flick, despite its protestations to be something more cerebral/spiritual. And, for what it’s worth, Leo was fucking great. Films rarely look, sound or feel this good.

If Blue Ruin made me take notice of Jeremy Saulnier in 2013, this years Green Room [07] ensures I will be there day one for whatever he comes up with next. A brutal, claustrophobic rush of Horror-Realism, this was a huge “Fuck You!” to the bland and predictable schlock that spills out of studios all year. It’s also a punk-as-fuck farewell to the late Anton Yelchin, who’s premature death this year was the biggest gut punch.

For too long Hollywood has paraded The Great White Hope in boxing movies (and still does), so it was great to see the Daddy of them all address the balance by bringing Apollo Creed’s son front and center to carry on this beloved franchise in Ryan Coogler’s euphoric Creed [06]. Michael B Jordan is stellar in the lead role and Stallone gifted one of Cinema’s most enduring Icons a worthy and heartfelt send-off. For people of a certain age, this was their most emotional trip to the cinema in 2016.

Continuing my love affair with Danish cinema, Anders Thomas Jensen’s absurdly wicked comedy Maend & Hons (Men & Chicken) [05] playfully flirtswith horror and pathos in ways I’ve seldom seen. Finding a beauty in the grotesque, this was the most bizarrely fascinating and fulfilling film I saw all year, one that had me going over what I’d seen for hours after as it revealed ever more miniature complexities. It’s also great to see Mads Mikkelsen taking huge roles in two of the years biggest Disney behemoths but still have enough love in his native Cinema to fit something lie this in too. What a guy.

Shane Black’s sense of humor really clicks with me (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is a Hall Of Famer for me) and The Nice Guys [04] had me rolling. Russell Crowe was game for playing the straight guy to a movie-stealing performance from Ryan Gosling, who, it turns out, is a Comedy Genius. The Year’s best Comedy, hands down, and a film that already appears to have endless rewatchability.

Another film that I’ve had no issues with watching several times last year, despite its hefty run-time (4 at last count) was Tarantino’s The Hateful Eight [03]. Outside of the exceptional run of his first three films, this is QT’s MASTERPIECE. His writing is as good as it has ever been but his growth as a Director is most evident in this film. I feel like I’m in that haberdashery with them every time I watch this; it’s some of the richest story telling I’ve ever seen with a brace of stellar performances.

Then we come to my most contentious pick in all of 2016; Batman v Superman [02]. I’ll never apologise for liking this movie as much as I do, but the amount of scorn thrown its way needs to be acknowledged. The disappointment most people felt with this film seems to boil down to one thing: Zack Snyder. People don’t like him or his style of film-making. I love him. As annoying as it has proved to be to express to people; for me Snyder has made the best Comic Book Movie yet. It’s an absolute tour de force of owning the world you’re creating, not apologizing for it or trying to excuse the inherent absurdities with knowing humor or smug cynicism. Sure, it aims for the Man-Child audience du jour, kids will be bored to death here (as many adults were, yes, yes, bravo) and that’s something I think is a fault with the Genre across the board, but Snyder sets his tone and rides it, hard. Going for broke with the grand mythologizing, Snyder has taken a huge leap with the DCU and, whilst for many he has landed flat on his face, I think he soars. Henry Cavill’s conflicted Superman is the most interesting take on the character I’ve seen yet. The distrust shown him by the people he’s promised to protect making him question his role on Earth gives what has been a rather bland Hero in the past an actual arc, and Cavill is just brilliant. So to is Ben Affleck as an aging and unforgiving Batman/Bruce Wayne. Even Jesse Eisenberg’s infinitely irritating Lex Luthor worked a treat for me. I’m not being contrarian when I champion this film, I went twice to see it at the cinema (regular and IMAX) and have subsequently watched the (superior) Ultimate Cut at home a further two times; my feelings towards it only grow with each viewing.

And that brings me to my number one, which will be a surprise to exactly no one who has had to endure my gushing over this film since the BFI London Film Festival Gala screening in October of 2015; Bone Tomahawk [01].

This isn’t just my favourite film of the year, it’s my favourite film in over a decade. A brutal Western with Horror trappings starring America’s Greatest Actor Kurt Russell, it felt like this film was made just for me. For all the gold standard performances (Russell is on career best form, Matthew Fox is a revelation and Richard Jenkins straight-up steals the movie) it’s S. Craig Zahler’s screenplay (married to his beyond-his-years debut direction) that sets Bone Tomahawk apart form the pack; it’s an exemplary piece of writing that should be praised until the end of time.

It’s easy to say “I love this movie”, but I legitimately *love* Bone Tomahawk.