#toxleo

[starry-sophrosyne]

me realizing i havent ever posted my initial designs for tox and leo/ive stopped talked about ttos as a whole:

[starry-sophrosyne]

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...

ELDETTE. I NEED YOU TO UNDESTAND. The temptation that ate away at me yesterday to write something about them?.. (literally only got overwritten bc i was dead tired- /srs)

Doomed yaoi but it's not concurrent, and it's not redeemable. Doomed yaoi but it once was the silly dreams of two teenage boys almost flunking college, spending their time up on the rooftops with their heads in each other's laps; Their legs hanging off of the sides of buildings, talking about their hopes for the future in what are now distant conversations. Doomed yaoi that, after going down separate paths in the past, eventually reconverged with one having gone astray, down a path of irreversible toxicity. Doomed yaoi that eventually ends in a conversation, minutes before a world that's inflicted nothing but hurt and pain on certain people falls apart.

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"You can still change, Leo. Do the same thing they did. Leave it all behind, go somewhere else? Start a new life for yourself, in a place where no one will find you? You still have time."

"... Are you stupid?"

"!.."

"I'm not a good person Tox. Me being "hurt" doesn't change anything, it doesn't atone for what I've done or make my situation remorseful to others. If I continue the cycle of inflicting pain onto others and it's not unintentional*, then my reasoning doesn't matter. I am plain evil; no different from a person who's not hurt, and all the same as anyone else."

* "... I don't even remember if it wasn't before."

"..."

"I can't change, nor can I ever be accepted somewhere else. My past would catch up with me eventually, and besides, old habits die hard."

"Maybe you think that because you don't believe you deserve a second chance, but even though you hurt people..."

"... See what I mean? You can't think of a redeeming quality for me either."

"..."

"I've told so other people this same thing, about being a lost cause. Manipulated, controlled them with it. Do you really believe that I don't think it applies to myself too?"

"... Leo, I-"

"I'm not the person I was back in college, Ztar. You know that better than anybody. Now, go. I don't want to see your face ever again."

"..."

[starry-sophrosyne]

Hi Swizard! Sorry it took me a while to respond to this, I wanted to say a few things but my replies ended up spiraling into a really long response while writing, so rather than just flashbang you by dming you all of this, i'm just gonna put it all under the cut XD /lh /silly

(For everyone else, feel free to read this too if you want ( ´﹀` ) /gen)

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1. I'm glad you like his design! Like I said, it took me a few attempts to remake his picrew the way I wanted him too without loosing the sense of the character/design from when he was younger-

2. Yeah, Leo definitely had that more sparky personality of the two, and their trope still carries into their personalities in the future. For Leo, it's in a darker way, as his playfulness/charisma hides a sinister venom behind it. His eyes are sharp and gleam in a way in the darkness. -- Meanwhile, Tox has always seemed somewhat impenetrable/stoic. However, you can’t be uncharismatic in the nightlife industries, so he’s naturally professional in a flattering way while still holding true to that original part of him, whether it be through his physical build or his own piercing eyes. He is a good judge of character and determine whether or not he can trust you on his own accord without being obvious about it. After that, he’ll treat you accordingly, warming up a little.

3. Regarding them being doomed -- Yeah, altho regardless of whether or not you thought this, I think it's important I note (also for the sake of everyone else) that: Despite all the angst you could pull out of their past compared to their future, writing abt their longing and doomed by the narrative, the truth is they don't actually have these strong desperate longing feelings abt each other in canon TTOS if that makes sense-

Again /gen not mad at all when i say this, but yes they ARE doomed, just unequivocally and irrevocably so that their feelings abt their fallout are more or less apathetic bc they both believe they’ll never have the relationship they used to have ever again (partially because its been so long; they are older than the pcs so its been a hot minute but idk how much older I should figure that out-) That doesn't mean that in times of vulnerability, they won't mourn abt it though.. All those feelings are still part of their hearts, but they've matured and grown and hardened to the extent that it isn't a priority anymore- /lh /nm

4. THAT'S MEAN omg Swizard.. ("if i had a nickel for every time my "star" was someone who was heavily related to the color purple regardless of the circumstance, i'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice!-" XD /hj /silly /nsrs) ; Who knows, maybe that's the reason why he doesn't have Sophist dress in any other colors, call it a sign from god when he found out his favorite color was purple?- XD (i wanna say unresolved trauma coping mechanism but this is all nsrs/non canon for the most part, also bc the actual ztar/pc mascot has the closest ties to sophist in being both purple and mischievous/chaotic; meanwhile i've made tox a lot more professional despite your initial writing of him- /gen /lh)

5. Tbh, I feel a little bad fully claiming tox as "MY" brain child (in the same way i told pen abt leo)m esp because i didn't write him AT all (where as pen took my tags and made em into a real character) you legit just came to me with this idea that ended up being perfect to make a character/event that was perfect for nick and vern's struggle in TTOS (the drabble of which i still have yet to post-) and you writing of him was what gave me the inspiration to spin it into making it canon- so yes, while i will be taking liberties abt them in TTOS, i dont think ill ever fully consider him or leo my brain children XD /lh /gen

6. I think it's fine (if you do have any doubts abt them-) bc your ocs are legit some of the best made in other people's works. Even if Anton isn't canon to whatever pen would write if they wrote post-WOTC, he's literally the collective angst/guilt of all 4 of his "parents" combined/multiplied- XD /hj /lh; and boy if he isn't a great platform for me to write/extend angst abt into future WOTC too- /hj /lh; and Tox too! Now 100% canon to the story, if I do ever make it a fic, at least to Vern's struggle and temporary fallout with Nick (honestly my savior bc i wanted to write abt tcvern3 for once but didnt have a specific idea for their plot/story- /gen /srs XD) ; But yeah, you me and pen specifically have a hell of a time combining/playing with each other's ideas XD /gen /pos

me realizing i havent ever posted my intial designs for tox and leo/ive stopped talked about ttos as a whole:

[sopping-wet-cat-wizard]

The original idea of Tox came from wanting to have someone that could challenge Leo and give him more depth beyond just being an asshole. Tox was meant to be the Alastor to Leo's Vox (because some of this fun stemmed from someone mentioning HH in addition to the sugar daddy brent comment xD).

In my experience, I find it really hard to write a story with only 4 main characters and no minor or side characters. I love the guys, but in order to really feel like a world is lived in, other people have to mingle, and sometimes said people need to be more than just literal background (*aggressively gestures to Cherie like the queen she is*).

Tox seemed like a good way to toss lore in without it seeming too out there since his design was technically based on their mascot (and I wrote Nick to work under him since I believe Nick was the one that started Party Crashers, so it was like a neat reference n.n). He didn't need to be anything flawlessly created or well-written; he just needed to have potential, a use, and a reason to be relevant.

Needed an opposing force of power to match Leo? Tox. Needed a person in a position of power to forward the plot in some way? Tox. Needed a morally gray character to throw a wrench in something? Tox. (These are all just examples of potential. None of them have to be true or canon. Tox just needs to fulfill a purpose that the characters that already exist cannot. If he doesn't, then he doesn't need to exist.)

And yeah maybe I wanted to ship the two evil guys for some toxic yaoi. :3 /silly

I'm glad you found a place for him, and I'm glad we all inspire each other. <3

me realizing i havent ever posted my intial designs for tox and leo/ive stopped talked about ttos as a whole: