#traditional but i used a scanner fyi

[blushingzephyr]

[celtfather]

St Patrick's Day, Writing Drinking Songs

St Patrick’s Day isn’t just about drinking. But I will tell you the story of how I learned to write drinking songs so you can write your own… just sing along a little more easily.  I share 17 amazing Celtic Bands you should check out for St Patrick’s Day. Learn a green idea for investing in our climate.

This is Sci Fi Pub Songs & Stories #267.

0:22 - Kilted Kings “Ride On” from Flower of Scotland

4:42 - WELCOME TO SCI FI PUB SONGS & STORIES

Happy St Patrick’s Day! I am Marc Gunn. I’m a rhythm and folk Celtic musician living in Atlanta, Georgia. This is the audio edition of my weekly newsletter.

I play traditional Irish and Scottish drinking songs. I also write songs inspired by pop culture, things like Lord of the Rings, Firefly, and Doctor Who. That’s why this is Sci Fi Pub Songs & Stories. But this week, I’m mostly focusing on St Patrick’s Day fun.

5:17 - UPCOMING SHOWS

MAR 17: Little Shop of Stories, Decatur, Ga @ 7:00-7:30 PM, St Patrick’s Day Show with my Family

MAR 18: Pontoon Brewing, Sandy Springs, GA @ 12-3 PM

MAR 18: Ironshield Brewing, Lawrenceville, GA @ 7-10 PM

APR 29: The Lost Druid, Avondale Estates, Ga

JUN 3-10: Celtic Invasion Vacations, County Mayo, Ireland

8:15 - WHAT’S NEW STORY

Studio Days

NPR Tiny Desk Concert performance of “Blink”

15:53 - Marc Gunn & Jamie Haeuser “Johnny I Hardly Knew Ye” from How America Saved Irish Music

19:47 - FEEDBACK

Mitchell Petersen responded to my last newsletter about “Saying No Even If It’s Included”. I said “When I choose fruit and vegetables, I pick the ones that aren’t in plastic bags. I get a little grossed out by putting them on the scanner. But then I wash them when I get home.”

He responded: “FYI, we have these bags for fruits and veggies at the grocery store and they are awesome and you don't need to use the plastic bags OR have to put your stuff straight in the basket”

21:08 - One of the best things about Dragon Con…

21:55 - DOWNLOAD MY FREE EP

You can download all of my songs in this show. Just send me an email.  pubsong@ celtfather

You will get an auto responder with a link to download this month’s album. You can also subscribe to the podcast if you’re not already subscribed. It’s quick and easy.

While you’re emailing me to get your free EP, let me know what you’re doing while listening to this episode.

24:08 - Jiggy “King of the Faeries” from Translate

New video: “Fiery Arrow”

27:21 - STORY OF THE CAT CAME BACK… THE CAT’S PERSPECTIVE

I learned how to write a drinking song thanks to “The Cat Came Back… The Cat’s POV”.

First, let me point out, a drinking song isn’t about alcohol. It’s a song with a fun, easy-to-sing chorus. Sometimes it’s interactive.

“Wild Rover” has claps in the chorus. “Rattlin’ Bog” and “The Unicorn Song” have a whole bunch of motions that act out the lyrics. “Seven Drunken Nights” and “Big Strong Man” have phrases that the audience shouts back at the singer. These were the songs I was thinking of when I wrote the cat’s perspective of a famous folk song.

I never liked “The Cat Came Back.” It was cruel and I love cats. So I decided to rewrite the song using the melody of “The Moonshiner”. But I wanted to make it a call-and-response song. So I added “Ka-Boom”, “Gurgle” and more to the end of the verses. But when I finally decided to play it live, I had NO idea how to get the audience to interact with the song.

Eventually, I taught the audience the 5 different responses (five, really? What was I thinking?). I introduce each exclamation before the verse. But it’s still difficult to get them involved.

If you want to write a drinking song, keep it simple. One call and response throughout is best. Teach it at the beginning of the song. “Slainte Mhaith” is a great drinking song. It has an easy-to-sing chorus. But it also has a super easy call-and-response.

“When I sing slainte mhaith, you shout it back to me. Slainte mhaith! [Slainte mhaith]”.

Sometimes you learn to do something the easy way. With this song, I learned what not to do. Ah well. Live and learn.

Here’s the lyrics to “The Cat Came Back… The Cat’s Perspective”:

I was a crazy cat for many a year, My years are advancing. Now I sleep in my chair. But old Mr. Johnson still wants me to play If I don’t get active, he’ll send me away.

I’m a yellow tabby, kinda flabby. And I’m coming home. And if you don’t like me, then leave me alone! I’ll eat when I’m hungry. I’ll sleep when I’m tired. And if you try to wake me, you’ll wish you had died.

His neighbor ambushed me with shotgun and dynamite. My cat senses warned me. So I put up a fight. I clawed at his cigarette. It fell to the floor. It lit the dynamite as I ran out the door. KA-BOOM!

He gave me to a boy with a dollar and a note To drown me in the river when we were afloat. I saw the rope come towards me and let out a yowl. The boat tipped on over. The poor boy was drowned. GURGLE!

He gave me to a man going up in a balloon. I clung to his head. I am no buffoon. The man tried to free me, but then lost control. I stole his parachute as he crashed ‘gainst a knoll. KER-SPLAT!

He took me to the mill where the meat was ground. He left off the lights, so I wouldn’t look around. But I saw that food processor come closer to me, I jumped to the floor. He tripped bloodily. CRUNCH!

Mr. Johnson, Mr. Johnson, I know you hate me, But I have nine lives and you haven’t even three. Blessed are the cat lovers. Blessed are all kitties So love me or leave me alone for to sleep. PURR

32:22 - Marc Gunn “The Cat Came Back… The Cat’s Perspective” from Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers

35:34 - JOIN THE CLUB

The show is brought to you by my Gunn Runners on Patreon. If you enjoy this podcast or my music, please join the Club. Every week, you get bonus podcasts, downloadable songs, printed sheet music, blogs, or stories from the road. Plus, you get weekly access to my Coffee with The Celtfather video concerts. Sign up for as little as $5 per month and save 15% with an annual membership. Thanks to my newest Gunn Runners on Patreon: Alice M, Karla A, Triskele, Ayden B

36:07 - 17 CELTIC BANDS FOR ST PATRICK’S DAY

Whether you’re a die-hard Celtic music fan or your interest tends to heat up more around St. Patrick’s Day, we have a band for you! We’ve assembled 17 of them here for you to add to your holiday playlist, or to check out in your spare time. Each of them has earned a spot on the list because they have something special to offer, so take a listen—and enjoy!

Read the blog.

44:16 - CLIP: Poitin “Dirty Old Town” from One For the Road

47:57 - Poitin “The Knife in the  Bread” from One For the Road

52:01 - INVESTING IN A GREEN ST PATRICK’S DAY

It’s fascinating how creative people are when it comes to finding innovative new ways to combat climate change. One of the more creative is through banking.

The fossil fuel industry is funded by investors. What happens if investors refuse to invest in them because they don’t want to support the fossil fuel industry? We will see greener energy.

There’s a campaign in the U.K. asking people to green their investments. Thinking about that I just migrated to a new Mutual Fund so that my money no longer supports Fossil Fuels.

Yeah. My small mutual fund will not make a huge difference. But imagine if just you and I made this change and we had the exact same amount in our pension?

What if 10 other people on my mailing list did the same? Or 30? Multiply your pension times 30 and we start to make a real impact.

That’s really what it takes. It takes each of us being aware and making small changes to force banks to stop investing in fossil fuels and start investing in the health of our planet.

55:18 - Marc Gunn “St Patrick Never Drank” from Kilted For Her Pleasure

57:34 - ALBUM GIVEAWAY CONT…

59:32 - Marc Gunn “Wild Mountain Thyme” from The Bridge

1:04:13 – CREDITS

Thanks for listening to Sci Fi Pub Songs & Stories. The show is brought to you by my Gunn Runners on Patreon. Every week, you’ll get a new podcast or song or video or video concert. You’ll also save 25% off all my merch in my store. The show was edited by Mitchell Petersen with graphics by Miranda Nelson Designs.

You can subscribe and listen to the show wherever you find podcasts. Sign up to my mailing list to read the show notes for this episode and find out where I’m performing.

And of course, please tell one friend about this podcast. Word of mouth is the absolute best way to support any creative endeavor.

Have fun and sing along at www.pubsong.com!

#pubstories #jiggy #poitin

Check out this episode!

[kmuttpawprints]

In dedication to New Orleans freezing over two nights in a row.

Marius is not thrilled about this dip in temperature and even less thrilled knowing when he leaves work tonight it’ll be even colder. At least Mael is there to offer some form of comfort, receiving gratitude and criticism at the same time. Ah love.

AU facts time!

Marius is not from New Orleans but he and his family moved in 25+ years ago. Over time, some of the family has moved to other cities but this one is his home. He will always love it (and its usually warmer weather)

Mael moved to New Orleans 3 years ago. He spent the first 1-2 years getting his affairs in order and opening his flower shop. Obviously he is used to colder climates so this weather doesn’t bother him. Summer, however…

Both stores sit close to two different coffee shops. One is your regular PJ’s chain and the other a local hole in the wall. Neither one has the better taste but they both employ the same young man part time. If he’s there, the option is to go to the other store. Billy is to be avoided. Dammit Billy.

This meet up occurred moments before Mael was taking a sip of his drink as Marius made the suggestion of a ‘better’ way to warm up. This action nearly killed them both: Mael from choking in embarrassment/shock of hot coffee now spilling down the front of his sweater and Marius from lack of oxygen/dying of laughter.

Random Facts

I received sharpies for the holiday and this was my attempt at practicing traditional media again. (WOOF I’m under practiced) Not near a scanner so I apologize for phone quality. Will trade this out later eventually.

I’m cold.

fyi if my handwriting is hard to read, let me know and I’ll transcribe it in a reblog. 

[2019dclmed]

Rome - Tues., May 28, 2019

Rome - Tuesday, May 28, 2019

It was another early morning with a 5:47am alarm for our 7:15am PA call time. By now we had a routine of getting ready, eating our room service, taking seasick pills, and packing our backpacks. The forecast was only 64, but no rain. I donned a plaid dress & navy sweater, but stashed my Lauren hoodie & footies (for the bus) in my bag! Luckily, neither were used. 

As a reminder of our chosen Port Adventure:

Vatican Behind the Scenes and Panoramic Drive (CV105)

10 Hours to 10.5 Hours 

It was about an hour drive into the city and we were dropped off just outside the Vatican City wall. We were led down a Groups path (FastPass), went through security scanners, and then awaited our tickets. (The regular line wrapped all the way down one of the walls and around the corner. Again, unless you arrive prior to opening or have a tour like ours booked, the wait to just get in would be excessive!) 

Then it was upstairs for our radio guides, but it was to hear our personal guide, not the Vatican Museums audio guide. Our group was led out to the Gardens, a blissful escape from the crowds. (As uttered on the Disney Cruise Line Blog Podcast, when at the Vatican be prepared to “pack your patience and give up your personal space!”)

The Gardens (requiring a special ticket or with a tour) are quite hilly with all sorts of cement, cobblestone, and rock pathways. (I was happy my new Chacos conquered it all!) One in our group had mobility issues and opted out of a significant portion of the tour. We were told about the history and meaning behind many of these sites, refurbishment of a considerable monument, and the building to which retired Pope Benedict has retired. This area also provided beautiful natural, quiet, and unobtrusive views of the back of both the St. Peter's Basilica Dome and Sistine Chapel. The numerous gardeners were out and about to the point it felt a bit Disney-esque. We regularly got out of the way of the golf carts and 4-wheelers (that I wanted to commandeer)! 

This is Kara - I’ll just add that the Gardens were very pretty - made even more enjoyable by the fact the weather was absolutely perfect. I especially enjoyed Pope Pius IV’s building from 1550 and its sunbathing turtles.

Too soon we returned to the outside public area of Vatican City. We stopped in front of a set of six signs, each explaining different part of the Sistine Chapel. I had not seen this on my previous visit. It gave much needed context to the famous painting we were about to view, so this is highly recommended.

Kara here: I agree completely that without the explanations of these signs or some real preparation for the Sistine Chapel, you’re not going to really get all that much from the experience.

Next we were back inside to another “skip the line” point, but still had to traverse through the expansive galleries. (One in our party lost contact with one or two of their four girls, which caused a delay. FYI - tour guides are not your babysitters!) 

We were informed the ceiling art is simply lat painting, but they appear 3D! Talk about masterful historic art techniques! Note what looks like “tape” across the giant crack!

This brought us to yet another “skip the line” into the Sistine Chapel. We were there for only about 10 minutes and it was lighter in there than I recalled. 

Kara: The three galleries we passed through were candelabra, maps, and tapestry. The tapestry where Jesus’s eyes follow you - FREAKY! While I tend to enjoy museums like this a little more than Gayle, the Disney Cruise Line Blog should go one step further and say that if you’re an introvert or you actually expect to be able to look at something and enjoy doing so while in the Vatican, you’ve come with the wrong expectations. The next picture truly captures why while I’m glad to have visited the Vatican, unless I’m enjoying a private audience with the Pope, I have no need to return.

From the Sistine Chapel we exited almost directly into St. Peter’s Basilica, where our guide pointed out the key highlights. (I was personally relieved at this. Last time I did the audio guide, and like Westminster, tried to do the whole thing. Yet, the monuments here are great in number and I easily lost track if I was looking at the right thing!) We finished around 1pm and were directed to meet back in front of St. Peter’s by 2:45pm.

Kara: I tend to love visiting churches. I’d go back in a heartbeat to nearly every other church I’ve ever visited.  There was absolutely nothing reverent or inspiring for me about the shear audacity and grandiosity of St. Peters.

Knowing of this free time, I’d prepared for us to grab a bite to eat. Employing my offline map we sought out the nearby “Alice” for pizza. I’d searched for “good pizza near the Vatican” since we didn’t have a ton of time and thought Kara needed to experience “street food”. While waiting for Kara to get the pizza from this walk-up restaurant, a pigeon “poo-ed” on my backpack! Luckily I had supplies to clean it, but these birds were really aggressive in trying to snatch our food. On top of this the pizza was bad. Really bad. (I have no idea how this “restaurant” was highly rated.) So I felt guilt for leading us here. 

Kara: The staff was also not pleasant at all.  I didn’t think the pizza was really bad, but it definitely was just food - nothing special.

Next we ventured a few more blocks to “Old Bridge Gelateria” for yes - gelato! (After our Alice experience, I was scared!) It was another traditional walk-up establishment directly across from a Vatican wall. Kara ordered mixed berry, strawberry, & lemon; I ordered dark chocolate and strawberry. When I tossed a tip in their jar, the guys Dabbed! LOL! This gelato was YUMMY (if slightly overpriced - but location, you know) & more than made up for the terrible pizza!

Kara: Back when we decided to do this trip, I tried valiantly for about six months to pick up enough Italian to at least understand the basics. I wasn’t confident but I was really pleased at how kind everyone was as I tried out the language and how gentle they were in corrections of pronunciations. Both Luigi the day before and the guys at the gelato place were really nice to patiently let me try Italian.  Nothing like my experience in Paris a few years back. Also, a note for a future trip should one ever occur to Rome - there is currently a great little sandwich and pasta shop right next to the this gelato place.

We returned to our meeting point (one of the official gift shops) where Kara picked up a number of items and I purchased needed postcards. 

(A bracelet Kara bought me - to match my nails, of course!)

Due to the high tourist area, the streets surrounding the Vatican were full of pickpockets and street vendors pushing everything everywhere. We felt like a full picnic basket (especially with my checkered dress print) sitting on top of an anthill! Our guide finally led us to the Vatican’s “bus parking garage” and even here we endured musicians asking for money. 

Sidenote: We invested in our first pairs of Chacos for this trip - wanting a sandal that would support a lot of walking. Since I customized mine in all silver metallic, and “when in Rome”, I took to calling mine... 

At 3pm we began our panoramic drive through Rome, some sites I had seen, but not others. We were back on the ship by 5pm. (This port is HUGE and crazy! It must have taken us nearly 10 minutes to get to the ship after entering the port!) 

Kara: As this was my first visit to Rome, I was looking forward to the tour part - even though it was just a bus tour.  G and I are both watching the CBS show “Blood and Treasure” this summer and the pyramid was featured in it. Gayle is right about how enormous the port was - the last two photos are ones I grabbed as we were driving back into the port. 

Back in our stateroom we found some delectable “VIP” cupcakes from our new bestie Zoe. 

Tonight’s dinner was back in Lumiere’s with a new international menu (World of Flavor) we’d never experienced. I made no notes about this and only remember not being impressed. I believe my main course was disappointing salmon; the buffet salmon from embarkation day was better. 

Tonight Kara ordered some hard cider, which they brought in a bottle. Not a beer bottle, but rather more of a full wine-size bottle. Okkkkk. The process worked the same that they would re-cork it and bring it back for the next night’s dinner.

The Beef Empanada was actually quite tasty!

The ship’s Cheddar Cheese Soup will never compare to Le Cellier’s, but pretzel bread is always appreciated!

The Sundae was also quite good. (I would have gotten the Sacre Torte, but don’t care for apricot.)

Kara’s normal dessert selection.

We completed our post-dinner tendency of getting ice, shower/hair, and ordering Room Service for cookies (& tonight “chocolate cake”, which was actually mousse, so Kara was NOT happy. Are we confusing this with a previous night???) For some reason the ship left 45 minutes late.

The evening show was “Junnk” (similar to “Stomp”). We’d seen it before and due to our busy schedule decided to watch it on the stateroom TV since they show the nighttime stage shows on the in-room TVs. Lesson learned: They apparently only show the Disney original stage shows (pre-taped) on the TVs, so no show for us! 

Tonight was Pirate Night. As much as we wanted to embrace this cruise-specific offering and as the only cruise line having fireworks at sea, Pirate Night is a BIG DEAL! Yet with dropping temps, a wet/rainy environment, and notable winds, Mother Nature was prompting us to stay inside. When we saw the party didn’t start until 10:30pm (& knowing the fireworks wouldn’t go off until almost 11pm), we didn’t even try to pretend we were going. Instead we were barely able to stay awake for the fireworks, which we watched from our balcony (something Disney Cruise Line tells you NOT to do for safety). Yes, I broke a Disney rule. EEK! It’s the only one I break (& do so consistently. SHHHH!!!) We also know which side of the ship to reserve our stateroom just for this reason!

Disclaimer: I (Gayle) am a travel agent with Authorized Disney Travel Planner agency - Off to Neverland Travel. Contact me today for a no-obligation quote!

Next up: Florence, Italy!

[neoyi]

Anonymous asks:

(hope you don’t mind me asking this) what’s your art process like? can you share what materials you use?

Sure.

My process varies depending on how much I give a crap about the things I draw. Usually it starts off with an idea. Then it starts off with me trying to commit that idea to paper. Then I usually scream at this point as I try and find the motivation I need to grab a pencil and actually do this idea. This, incidentally, is probably the hardest stage in the process. Once I start drawing, it’s usually smooth sailings from here on; any mistakes I make tends to come up after I finish the work, and then I scream some more and wonder what I did wrong with my life.

I’m a traditional artist because my computer doodling skills is about as amazing as a lethargic boomerang that gets tossed and never comes back. I mostly use mechanical pencils, various ink pens (I’ve recently gotten into copic multiliners, though I have luck with Faber-Castells and micron ink pens) to ink my work. Copic markers (usually sketch sized) are my primary coloring choices; they often a wide variety of colors and is refillable to boot. I have some prismamarkers as well, but I don’t use them much nowadays. Still, I have a bushel of them as back-up just incase. 

Here’s my current set of supplies, give or take. The Transformers Animated lunch box houses most of my prismamarkers. It’s hard to see, but the refillables are to the far right of the photo. These things cost a bazillion dollars despite me being poor. Maybe I should get one of them Patreon thingamabobs. 

These are my current sets of pencils, ink pens, and other doo-dads I use to draw before I color the dang thing. I don’t use sharpies whenever I draw artwork I give two shits about because they bleed through easily. Those tools are often reserved for my black and white scribble comics where I don’t care as much to make it look good.

How I draw depends on whether I’m giving a damn or not. 

When I draw half-assed comics and art, I tend to make up shit on the spot. Here’s an example from this Shovel Knight prospecter comic I’m currently drawing (I took this pictures with a phone because I���m too tired and lazy to use a scanner. Sorry.) 

I start off with a rough sketch as seen here on these sets of pages. Usually I work one page at a time, but sometimes I draw them all in advance like I did here, mostly to try and motivate myself to finish the damn thing.

Then I would ink over it (mostly I use a sharpie just to preserve my better art supplies for bigger projects) as seen here.

Here’s a finished version ready to be posted in the near future once I touch up minor edits on photoshop and fill up the world balloons with typed text. Incidentally, I don’t usually draw the word balloons in comics so I have a greater control of editing in speech bubbles via photoshop on the final product, but that only ever applies to my webcomic; simple ones like these I do just draw ‘em in because it makes the process faster. Basically I take more shortcuts depending on the ratio of how much effort I’m willing to put in a work.

Artwork I DO give a damn is slightly different. Most of the time, this is going to be my webcomic, Prince Marine: The Dandy Robot (*cough* link HERE if you’re interested in giving it a whirl. *cough*) That one is like planning out a friggin' symphony. I conceptualize a general story idea, figure out how it fits in the continuity, then jot down a script. As of this post, I have up to Chaper 8 ready to be drawn in the future (to put it into perspective, Chapter 4 is the current story that’s publically up on my site.) I then usually draw a thumbnail/rough sketch on how I want it to look. 

These are the dummy pages, the ones I use as guidelines for the final product. The first 200 or so pages were actually drawn when I had only a rough guideline for the first five or so chapters; everything from dialogue to how word balloons were placed were improvised on the spot before I wrote my first full script. I’ve changed a lot of elements from the original editions since, but they served as building blocks for the first five chapters. The image above for example isn’t much different from the finished pages below: 

The same rule applies to colored products. Ones that are simple and largely stress-free work are drawn on the spot once I think of an idea. Bigger ones are planned much like my comic, such as my recent Hyper Light Drifter 1-year anniversary pic. 

Rough draft on my sketchbook to get an idea:

A work-in-progress on a new sheet of paper:

Finished result with any minor little things I need to fix and add done in photoshop. 

I use a variety of paper depending on how much I give a shit. Printer paper is my default for garbage doodles as well as concept arts and practices. Printer paper, FYI, are often not quality paper for the tools that I use, but they do in a pinch if I want to draw something super quick and cheap on the fly. That goes double for sketchbooks. It’s hard to find a good one that can support markers very well, but I usually go for ones where the pages don’t feel too rough nor too smooth. Rough and the markers look kind of spotty. Sometimes I think it leaves a neat effect like this art, but I don’t often recommended it if you’re aiming for quality. Too smooth and the colors don’t feel as vibrant. 

I think so far, the “just-right” papers I’ve found are the Deleter Comic Book Pages and Hammermill printer paper; the latter of which has a stock card-like feel that makes it perfect for markers. That would be the two papers on the left side of the above picture. 

That’s basically about it. I hope that gives you a somewhat decent idea of how I do things. Thanks for asking! 

[221brownstone]

Elementary Live Tweet: 5x14 Rekt in Real Life "Tonight's #Elementary is about #ESports... and other things. Spoiler: There will be pwnage."

Brownstone business

Previously on... remember Shinwell and his daughter?

I love the intensity @OfficialNelsan brings to Shinwell.

And his scenes with @LucyLiu are always so great.

Joan's tie game is fierce.

Yes, we really did shave @jonnyjlm's head. Yes, it's staying short for a while.

Welcome back, @GoatwhoreNOLA! We missed you.

I stumbled on a story of a gangmember stalking a girl like this in the news. It's not uncommon, sadly.

If I were Shinwell, I'd be tempted the same way he is.

When Hard G's have a cat, they name it Ghostface.

Much praise to @jonnyjlm for nailing " huitlacoche".  Mmm, corn fungus.

Our Sherlock isn't the sort to use a gun, but he is the sort to bluff that he has one.

Personally I wanted Shinwell to run Lucien over with a car, but Rob D. came up with this much more subtle (and better) ending.

You try saying "stenosing tenosynovitis" on cue. @LucyLiu is the best.

This Sherlock speech about POV is direct from canon.

Okay, Shinwell, I get it. Peaceable life.

We don't get to show off Joan's Mandarin very often, but always nice when we have a chance.

Case of the week

Tonight's #Elementary is about #ESports... and other things. Spoiler: There will be pwnage.

O.G. Pwnzr is a bit old school, so he uses Pwnzer, which is super-dated.

I feel like IRL, if someone were murdered on a livestream, people would totally make a GIF out of it. People suck.

Most real streamers use pseudonyms and protect their privacy to varying degrees.

"Who brings a gun and a garden tool to commit a murder?" Good question Bell!

Retinal scanners really do still work once you're dead. Just FYI.

Fingerprints require an electrical signal, usually the body's charge, so you'd have to wire up the dead finger.

The More You Know

Hello Ando! @JamesKyson is so great. Love that we got him for Ng.

Some people call Trade Show Models "Booth Babes". They're the subject of some controversy in the gaming circuit.

A hakapik. Look it up. You do not want to get hit with a hakapik.

All this stuff about how you use a hakapik is real. Trivia: Hakapiks were invented in Norway.@NEofMN

#ESport tournies are bringing in increasingly large prize pools and get huge audiences online and in person.

What are you eating, Tendu?

The entire #Sealfie movement is a real thing.

I looked at a ton of #Sealfie's for this episode. Mostly young people from Nunavut defending their traditions.

You tell him, Anezka!

You know the old saying: One Czech is coincidence... Two Czechs are a conspiracy!  (I made that up)

I really like this Tendu kid. He's got a good heart. I hope nothing bad happens to him.

Carla knows that in real life, there's usually no Richard Gere.

If you see an athlete wearing branded gear, they're probably getting paid.

The Reverse Butterfly Effect is, um, a thing I made up.

I'm kind of proud of that speech.

Yep, Tendu is an awesome dude. Hurray Tendu!

We're blessed with great guest actors on #Elementary. Christine Taylor and @kathynajimy in the same scene? Lucky us!

For those keeping score, we've covered livestreaming, #eSports, hakapiks, #Sealfie, human trafficking. Still 30 minutes to go!

Oh, and stalking and arson.

This is our version of a car chase.

Tendu and Libena make a cute couple.

Behind the scenes

Just a reminder that @FCBayern beat @Arsenal 5-1. And that @writergeekrhw is now in control of this account. Suck it, @JeffreyPaulKing!

I originally titled it "Rekt IRL" but Rob D was worried folks wouldn't get it. So we spelled it out.

I'll be using a DVD & a time sheet, but hopefully I can synch up well. Better than when we have football delays anyway.

Here's the timing sheet for tonight's #Elementary in case anyone's wondering.

Vadrus Typhon is one of my Runequest characters, for those of you keeping score. A Sword of Humakt. @Chaosium_Inc

I've been wanting to do this specific murder for over a year. Finally found a story where it fit.

We originally tried to get a real life streamer to play O.G., but he has over a page of dialogue, so we needed an actor.

I've never been to the Javits Center, but I won a Javits Fellowship for grad school. Thanks Senator Javits!

Team Profine are all real pro gamers, including @nycfurby @DJNintendo17 Great guys!

@JKap415 was in the group scene too. Sadly, it all went by very fast. #TeamProfine

Wish we'd had more screen time for them. They did great, improiseved a bunch of gaming dialogue. But we ran out of time.

"Tendu" is named after my buddies @OKBJGM & @JoseMolinaTV's #TVWriting podcast: @ChildrenofTendu

"Tuchman" is a shout out to fellow #Alphas writer @EricTuchman

My dad once owned a 65 Mustang. He was a cool dude.

Those three-bladed hubcaps were supercool... except when I ran into one when I was 6.

The RCMP officer is named Montcalm. After my family's ancestral enemy.

For you Canadians keeping score, General James Wolfe is my distant uncle.

Read all about it here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_the_Plains_of_Abraham

I've spent a lot of time in Canada, but never gotten to Nunuvut. Would love to some day. Closest I've gotten is Churchill.

How great are these real NYC locations. They add so much to the show.

Arsenal sucks! Go @FCBayern!

Okay, now I'm done.

I now return control of this feed to @JeffreyPaulKing and @kwwheeler

Dear Inuit, I apologize for screwing up Inuk/Inuit and using Inuit(s) in tonight's #Elementary. I hope you still enjoy the episode.

Also messed up actor names in my live tweet. Sorry Kathy Najimy & Christine Taylor. You were both amazing! So blessed to have your talents

This episode was inspired by my love of online gaming, among other things. I played UO, DAoC, WOW, Hearthstone among others.

I watch a lot of Twitch and YouTube tutorials for the games I play. Which is part of what inspired this.

If you played WoW and ever got rekt by a Shadow Priest named Coldcomfort, that was me. You're welcome.

If you played DAoC on Lancelot server, I was the Hib Champion named Caradoc who kept snaring you and backstabbing you.

Another great directing job from @john_polson

[ethelbertpaul444-blog]

36 Products With a Serious Cult Following on Amazon

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[nebsabroad-blog]

Bahir Dar

Our last stop on the historic Northern Circuit was Bahir Dar which is a big bustling city.  Unfortunately for us Bahir Dar was the site of three calamities which I shall detail forthwith.

Our route to Bahir Dar was a bit long winded. We got driven to Axum airport in a car stinking of diesel by the lovely man who owned our shabby-not-chic hotel that was being built as we stayed there. We then flew one hour to Gondar which was in the midst of protests (so we had heard). We avoided these by going straight from the airport to the bus station and from there catching a bus to Bahir Dar.

Calamity one was it was the first place we were scammed on our whole trip. After our long journey we were met off the bus by a guy who said he could direct us to our hotel. This happens a lot and usually we’d have just ignored him but we didn’t have a map or our bearings and had no idea where we were and so we let him take us. Once in the hotel he tried to upsell us a tour of the main sites in Bahir Dar - the Blue Nile Falls and a tour of some islands with ancient convents. After travelling for quite a long time and meeting only trustworthy and good people we got a bit lazy and couldn’t be bothered to price check. We just said yes to this guy and paid $35 each for our tour. We’ll circle back to this price in a bit.

Calamity 2 was our hotel. It was a total and complete shitshow, a veritable faulty towers. The first sign was that the toilet didn’t flush and the public ones in the hallways were backed-up and disgusting. I asked the front desk about this and they said the water only works from 2pm onwards which of course makes complete sense (that was irony FYI). At this point we should have just upsticks but we were tired and hopeful. After leaving to explore the city and then going back we found that by some miracle the toilet was working. Rejoicing with the news of functioning plumbing we decide to take showers. On the shower goes and almost immediately the bathroom starts flooding and we only prevented the water escaping into the room by shutting off the shower in the nick of time.  We asked for a new room but I already was thinking that with dodgy plumbing and non-functioning drainage meant we should probably just leave.

Avi went off with the man to check on some other rooms and there proceeded to be a comedy of errors. The first room he tried to open, the door handle fell off. Then he ran downstairs to open the room beside our one for me to check out. He then ran back up the stairs to show Avi another room. Meanwhile I run the shower in the new room to see if it would flood, and the good news was that the drainage looked good. The bad news was that 5 seconds after I put the shower on strange noises started emanating from it, then sparks started to fly from the exposed electrical wire above the shower (live wire and water always a good combo) and then the shower-head genuinely went on fire. 

“Wholly fuck” I scream, “it’s on fire.” 

Ariel :“What?! What?!” 

I run back into the shower and shut off the tap and by the grace of god the fire went out before it could properly take hold.  “We’ve got to leave before this hotel kills us” I tell Ariel. We scream up to Avi to come down so we can get the hell out of there.

We felt very sorry the poor man who was showing us around as one calamity followed another. He said that he pleaded with the owner for investment to fix the hotel and he knows it is a hellhole. He organised a cab for us and escorted us all the way to a hotel he recommended. Of course we were sceptical but we arrived at a lovely new hotel that was light years ahead of where we had just been. As we settled in to our amazing new room, I ran down the stairs to catch him just as he was heading back. I tried to give him a tip for helping us and going the extra mile; in fact the sceptical part of me thought he had only been so diligent because he was angling for a tip. But he flat out refused. He said it was the least he could do given what had happened (the electrical fire and all). It was another example of the friendliness we experienced throughout our time in Ethiopia and in fact the whole of Africa.

The next day we went on our trip and quickly realised what a waste of money it was. The islands and convents were all lovely. But the boat that took us there was just a public taxi boat anyone could get by going to the harbour. The Blue Nile Falls were also good enough but the car that took us was just a taxi that we could have flagged down. Basically we could have organised everything ourselves for literally £10 total. So we paid 10x more than we hadto and got absolutely nothing for it, no tour guide, no extra explanation, no air conditioned car (in fact the shitty taxi didn’t have headlights and so the journey home, over a long dirt road, was terrifying).

Of course once we had figured all this out we had no way to find the bastard that duped us. To be fair most of my anger stemmed from frustration with ourselves for being so bloody stupid.

We consoled ourselves by heading to a night of Ethiopian food and dancing. Ethiopia has a few “traditional” restaurants which are as popular with Ethiopians as tourists. In fact in Bahir Dar we were the only tourists there. The dancers and singers perform on stage doing 5-10 minute bits each. Towards the end of the evening they come into the audience and look for some participation, cue our heads sinking towards our knees and complete avoidance of eye contact. Naturally as the only Westerners there one guy makes a beeline for us and Avi and Ariel push me up. And then I proceed to dance off with the pro and as you can imagine there was only one winner…. 

Job offers were made but I had to tell them that despite my extreme natural ability at shoulder and head dancing I had to get back to the UK eventually. After all the UK electricity and gas markets won’t regulate themselves (despite what economists may believe).

Onto the final calamity. (for those still with us) We booked our last internal flight to take us from Bahir Dar back to Addis Ababa. We turn up to the airport the requisite hour before, all with a strange feeling in our stomach. We are stopped at the entrance to the airport by a heavily armed security guard who looks at us quizzically, shakes his head and says “finished finished.” 

Uh oh.

We check our ticket and we’re sure we’re on time. We rush up to the tiny airport terminal, Ariel leaps out of the taxi before it stops moving - as if in a movie when the driver in the heist has shouted “Go! Go! Go!” -  in a desperate bid to somehow find that that extra second means we have not arrived at a deserted airport. 

As she runs through security, I follow suit, tripping up over the body scanner Benny Hill style. We are directed by a security guard to the Ethiopian Air office where we are informed the plane had just left.

“Why? How?” we exclaimed,

“oh well, we moved it an hour earlier”

“YOU DID WHAT?!?!”

“we did try to call to let you know”

“But we have no phone network, why didn’t you email and also WHY DID YOU CHANGE THE TIME OF THE FLIGHT, WHO DOES THAT, SERIOUSLY WHICH INTERNATIONAL AIRLINE DECIDES JUST TO MOVE A FLIGHT AN HOUR EARLIER???

And then we proceeded to scream: “why? who does that?” at the 2 Ethiopian Airline representatives for the next 20 minutes.

After doing that until we were blue in the face we then had to try resolve the situation. And there we sat for an hour and a half waiting for the two guys to figure out how they could get Avi to London. Unfortunately for her the best option would be to wait a day and then fly to London via Frankfurt missing a day of work. Luckily for me and Ariel our flight out of Ethiopia wasn’t until the next day and so we didn’t miss ours. Avi had to spend a day in Bahir Dar on her own, I’m sure feeling very frustrated not to be home.

After displaying our incredulity over moving a scheduled flight and completely messing up our travel plans, we got a free night’s accommodation and taxi back to the airport. Incredibly the taxi driver who took us to the airport in the first place had waited and took us to our new hotel. Again he refused a tip until we pushed it into his hand.

We got back to Addis the next morning and left Ethiopia and Africa shortly afterwards, bound for Bangkok.

[steven-p-warner]

Trump’onomics: Proving Darwin wrong!

If Trump does plan to bring back jobs from China, Vietnam and India to US, he will have to reduce American wages by about 80-85% to ensure the same level of competitiveness. Is he willing to do that?

Steven Philip Warner | February 2017 Issue | The Dollar Business

Outcomes of the immediate last General Elections in three nations that matter most to an Indian exporter-importer are perhaps the most obvious evidences of how paradoxical the current situation is in this globalised market. Three nations: America, China and of course, India. While India saw its single-most popular nominee in many decades chosen to the nation’s corner office, and China (and its citizenry) was given no choice to decide on who was their Mr. Favourite, America saw its least-loved campaigner take the oath of office! [Wollah!]

Even on Presidential inauguration day, media channels around the world used words like “unbelievable”, “surprising”, “shocking”, “untrue”, and the likes, to get a grip of America, The White House and the world to be. And that’s purely because the man in charge of arugably the most influential nation in the world still – we say that because of how capable US is to finger-and-hand-twist power bodies like the Bretton Woods twins, NATO, UN, etc. – has a habit of saying whatever he feels makes that “moment” great with little respect or consideration of the ramifications of his eccentric vocal expressions. And when every time he talks about “how he forced those who hated him to concede”, we end up imagining how he may just force devastating changes on the natural pattern of trade and policy relations for not just America but the whole world. His ever-defiant ego is one representation of an independent thinking and unilateralist, who thinks his way, likes doing things his way, cares least about traditions, and has the audacity of announcing that values are for suckers and Russia a friend in public!

Historically, American presidents have been about “light-hearted caricatures”. Trump is all about “serious jokes”! [I remember one Jimmy Fallon show in the third week of January where he jests that “as per a recent survey, 70% of respondents said that the person they’d like to see at Trump’s inauguration function was “A New President”!] Historically, American presidents have been about experience in politics. He has been one about experience with controversies. Historically, American presidents have been about sober tongue and silence post-electoral college results. He has been one about taking his tweet count to newer highs. Historically, American presidents have been less about impulse (unlike the current class of Russia’s Putin and Turkey’s Erdogran). This one is about a constellation of ‘off-the-cuff’ impulse revolving around a heck of a gravitational ego. Historically, American Presidents are about playing “caring global daddies”. He’s not a world policeman – he’ll carpet bomb at will, mind you, but he’ll not sing lullabies to other sobbing Head of States. Historically, American Presidents are almost sure of what they say. He speaks against immigrants and H-1B Visas, while his very better Slovenian-born half is an immigrant herself! Somehow, this less popular, outlandish candidate becoming president has proven Darwin wrong. (Organisms evolve; yes?) The confusion however is – who’s the subject of defiance to Darwin’s Theory here – Trump or America’s voters? Or maybe most Americans decided that as Trump enjoyed shooting bizarre remarks during his campaign tours, they had a right to finger the wrong button on voting machines, hoping everyone else would choose the politically-logical candidate. Problem is – they all thought alike! So it happened. Trump won. America was surprised. And the world was shocked. And while Republicans and his supporters hope that he will keep his promise to build a wall, other nations who have big stakes in foreign trade (and their exporters and importers) still hope that he'll keep his promise, declare the election results “rigged by illegal immigrants” and step down!

Speaking of promise, some indication of how Trump becoming president could impact world trade and policy is obvious from his tweets. Like I said before, historically, American presidents have been about “silence post-results”. He has just made Twitter his hometown. But what percentage of those 140 characters emanated from his left-brain is questionable.

A quick analysis will give you a fair idea of how going forward, this Statesman will influence America’s road to greater or lesser global trade integration and impact millions of exporters across tens of other exporting nations that thrive on supplying manufacturing produce and rendering services to the world. Let us analyse some of his theories (of Trump’onomics) supported by 'his' tweets and understand what they mean when put under two scanners: Trump’onomics and Global Economics.

Trump’onomic theory #1: The world is celebrating his victory. Related tweet: “The world was gloomy before I won - there was no hope. Now the market is up nearly 10%...”

Analysis as per logical economics: For Trump, perhaps world market means just the American market. American stock exchanges behaved like reckless teenagers on hearing that he’s won the elections, but the fact that stock markets in the world’s top two populous nations (China and India) have fallen since Nov 8, 2016 (till Jan 20, 2017; including BSE, NSE, Shanghai Stock Exchange and the Hang Seng) proves how sound his theory of global markets is! (Yes, since Nov 8, the Russian index MICEX has appreciated by 10% to 2,200 points; is Russia the new world for Trump?)

Trump’onomic theory #2: Building a wall to celebrate a border is a symbol of a defiant and great neighbour, one which your neighbour will want and reciprocate by paying for it willingly!

Related tweets: “We must build a great wall between Mexico and the United States! Mexico will pay for the wall!”

Analysis as per logical economics: What inspires Trump to build the wall is a mystery. Five issues come to mind. First, Trump’s campaign rhetoric about illegal immigration and insistence that the US needs to build a border wall is hard to understand if one goes by the falling number of illegal immigrant apprehensions of Mexican nationals at US borders in the past seven years (the count has fallen by 62% since 2009, to 192,969 in CY2016) and the reduced count of illegal immigrants since its 2007 peak. Second, forgive Trump if he is drawing inspiration from The Great Wall of China, but can someone please tell him that the Wall cannot be actually seen from the moon? There are three more facts that don’t make The Great Wall of China a fitting comparison or inspiration. One, the Great Wall is within China, not on its border. Two, China paid for its own wall over centuries. And three, the Wall was meant to stop invaders, during the BC era when passports and Visas were non-existent. Talking about making Mexico pay for it – the nation’s political leaders, including both its current and former presidents, have already confessed that it is far too short on funds or willingness to do so. Going by Mexico’s economic situation, the only way in which Trump can force money out of his neighbour is by levying a double digit tax on remittances from Mexicans working in US. But if Trump were to push any federal tax on remittances down the US Congress’ throat, it would have to be applied to all foreigners in US; taxing just Mexicans would be discriminatory. And mind you, if Mexico was to fund this plan of Trump, it will have to bow down to other security measures that Trump has on mind. How about funding toilet papers for US border patrol agents next?

Trump’onomic theory #3: Reduce outsourcing to 0%. Related tweets: “Make in USA or pay big border tax! The Democrats are most angry that so many Obama Democrats voted for me. With all of the jobs I am bringing back to our Nation, that number will only get higher. Car companies and others, if they want to do business in our country, have to start making things here again. China has been taking out massive amounts of money from US in a totally one-sided trade. We will bring back our jobs.”

Analysis as per logical economics: Alright! Before this objective of Trump makes Obama look villainous, here’s the real story. When Obama took over, America’s unemployment rate was 7.8% (Jan 2009). When he left, it was down to 4.7% (Dec 2016). So, Obama has silently reduced unemployment rate to almost half. With such silence can Trump do too. But he won’t! That’s not his style because he’s just about learning to become a political figure! Back to Trump’s objective. The millions of jobs he wants to bring back to America was lost decades ago. And since then, more than borders, there is a new virus that’s doing the damage which he probably needs to be educated on – technology! What Trump intends to do is bring back 7 million jobs lost since the early 1980s back to America! Good morning Mr. President: FYI, all jobs aren’t being replaced by cheaper ones in China or Vietnam or India. Microchips, AI and smarter softwares have arrived. And therefore technically, you can’t bring back all the jobs lost! Confirms Wharton management professor Ann Harrison who writes in a Wharton Public Policy paper that, “If you try to understand how so many jobs have disappeared, the answer that you come up with over and over again in the data is that it’s not trade that caused that — it’s primarily technology. 80% of lost jobs were not replaced by workers in China, but by machines and automation.”

"Forgive Trump if he is drawing any inspiration for his 'border wall' from The Great Wall of China, but can someone please tell him that the Chinese Wall cannot actually be seen from the moon?"

Now I’ll tell you what will happen. If Trump forces Apple to shift 100% of its iPhone and GM, Ford and Chrysler to shift 100% of their car-making assembly lines to US, it will actually force the non-American consumer to opt for cheaper alternatives to the American brands, which in turn will mean that first, the jobs went and now the company and brand themselves will! Minus Apple, the likes of Samsungs and LGs will roll in wealth. Minus GM, Rolls Royce and Ford, the Audis, Suzukis and BMWs will. Yes, if Trump's goal is to bring back manufacturing jobs, he can. But they won't be the same jobs US lost decades back. Instead of using the rod, he can incentivise and make American manufacturing plants look appealing for even Asian firms! And what if I told you that the very belief that America has lost jobs created by manufacturing is one wrongly founded? As per an Economic Policy Institute (EPI) research paper, US' manufacturing sector supported approximately 17.1 million indirect jobs in US, in addition to the 12 million persons directly employed in manufacturing, for a total of 29.1 million jobs – or more than 21% of total US employment in 2013. Here’s my final question on this theory: If Trump does plan to bring back jobs from China, Vietnam and India to US, he will have to reduce American wages by 80% to ensure the same level of competitiveness. Is he willing to do that?

Trump’onomic theory #4: Kill FTAs like NAFTA and those in the making like TPP. Related tweet: “NAFTA is the worst trade deal... and now you want to approve Trans-Pacific Partnership. I will renegotiate NAFTA. If I can’t make a great deal, we’re going to tear it up. The Trans-Pacific Partnership is an attack on America's business.”

Analysis as per logical economics: There is a good reason to believe that Trump’s crusade against TPPs was largely driven by the Clinton factor and bad economics. It was Bill Clinton who signed NAFTA, an FTA that has not altogether been a sour deal for US. If trade deficit is all that Trump want to talk about then which trade treaty will he abuse in the name of blaming rising American deficit with China? As per the US Chamber of Commerce, six million US jobs depend on American trade with Mexico, a flow that has been greatly facilitated by NAFTA, which has helped eliminate costly tariff and non-tariff barriers. As per researches by the Wilson Center, 25% and 40% of the value of goods that are imported from Canada and Mexico into US respectively, are actually “Made in USA”!  In fact, Wharton management professor Mauro Guillen, has been open about the benefits that NAFTA has had on US. He states in a Wharton paper that, “We have gained jobs thanks to NAFTA, jobs that were in Europe and Japan. In the 1990s, after NAFTA came into effect, companies like Toyota, Nissan, Mercedes and BMW established plants in Alabama, South Carolina, Tennessee and other states, for instance. Their suppliers also came.” And talking about TPP, it is true that much of the forecasted failures of this FTA to benefit America is based on the assumption that this deal is “altogether too foolish to make” – little early to say that given this FTA has no China still and actually hasn’t seen the light of the day! And what economics teaches us is that if US leaves TPP, China will benefit the most, as NYU professor Ghemawat concludes in his HBR article, ‘If Trump Abandons the TPP, China Will Be the Biggest Winner’. [But, since Trump says TPP is bad for America, he must be right. Oh! Actually, he is. Because American voters think he is.]

Trump’onomic theory #5: Global warming is non-sense. It’s Chinese propaganda. Environmental friendly products have no future. Stop manufacturing them.

Related tweet: “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make US manufacturing non-competitive.”

Analysis as per logical economics: What does America do when it hears a Presidential candidate campaign against science, logic, experience, vaccination (you read it right), laboratory experiments and all things real? It gives him The White House! Economics and world trade have supported well-proven cases of scientists around the world – so bio-fuels, green technology, solar panels, etc., are increasingly becoming big business in foreign trade. But, if you are a Trump supporter, stop right there. Go back to the Hummers and side with Rex Tillerson!

This cover story deals with Trump and the impact his anti-outsourcing act will have on H-1B visas and India’s outsourcing industry. Does Trump even realise that given the differential between white collar salaries in US and India, even a 100% outsourcing tax will have practically little impact on India’s IT giants' relocation strategy. Given that salary differences between India and US across most white collar jobs areas range roughly between 300% to 500%, the only difference such a tax will make to Indian firms is their bottomlines. And if stricter rules on outsourcing and visas hit Indian companies, they will hold back from investing in US.

Trump’s take on the Turkey-Russia-US faction, at war Syria & ISIS, a hurt Israel, a sanction-free Iran, his new friend Putin, EU’s slim-down season, cursed Big Oil, tax reductions, job-gobbling monster of a China, and other such issues are all significant to decide the future of America's and world's foreign trade.

Trump’onomics makes little sense in most parts. It was probably thought of more as a campaign agenda and less to drive forward America’s foreign relations and trade with the world. Many claim that Trump will destroy relations that American importers and exporters have with their counterparts, especially with those across emerging nations like India, China, etc. His supporters opine that he will 'Make America Great Again'. Trump’onomics isn’t real. Economics is. Promising to bring back jobs and quarelling with neighbours isn’t going to make the impending inflation in America look prettier or Trump look younger.

Translation: US will lose if Trump sticks to Trump’onomics for very long. Remember, Americans are less than 5% of the world’s population. Someone tell Trump that. [Unless of course, his campaign slogan was meant to read, 'Make America primitive again'!]