#truly all i ask is to not be made deliberately aware of my squicks

[wifiwuxians]

this is pome! thank you very much for recommending one of my fics!! <33 i'm so glad we have such a lovely, talented, funny (!!) artist in a niche like song lan and xue yang relationship, it definitely is inspo for more sl&xy! just want to echo and also say i'm glad you don't mind certain shippers interacting with you obviously i also subscribe to songxue shipping and was worried you'd have to see it through interaction with me, so happy you reached out and hope there's a lot more positive sl&xy in the future! ❤️ thanks again!

hiiii! of course you're genuinely one of my fav authors out there (i just don't read a lot of fic which is why i am not seen often orz) but THANK YOU SM humor is probably my strong suit so I'm very happy to be considered funny ejtlqntke and naturally the rest too 😳😳😳

i am taking this opportunity to say again that if you or anyone gets inspo from the sillies (or serious things!) i draw PLEASE make things you have my blessing 100% i would be honored to spawn more positivity between them and also in general

BUT ALSO this is a little surreal to me that more than one person feels this way because i always think i'm clear about my dislikes and boundaries 😭 and now i feel like i haven't been despite making mention a fair few times (thru my art too) that i enjoy onesided xy crushing on sl, for instance! and that songxue tags don't really bother me unless i explicitly say like "songxiao only!" or like, yknow, xy is depicted as a kid or they're intended as family etc (people should be able to tell though 👁️_👁️ but ill say it anyway)

in the past i was more averse to it but people change! maybe people are getting confused because my header mentions sxx and that's, well, because it includes my notp in 99% of cases. and again i have to make the disclaimer that No I'm Not Barring People From Entry i just don't wanna read about that particular ship or have my art tagged as it, which i don't think is a crime but has been brought into question before 😭😭😭😭

but anyway. i will admit my leniency and the fact i toe the line and explore lots of different dynamics and scenarios between sl and xy has made ME worried that i'd lose favor with all the songxiao folk for instance or that i'd get called a hypocrite haha,, the one time i was asked about the ship i thought i was gonna be cancelled even for saying "i entertain the idea of onesidedness in some of my work" only to be told "ok well can you tag it as something bc it makes me uncomfortable" LMAOOO no offense to that person since i made them a whole tag but i almost feel they were better off unfollowing at that point because they're like all i draw now 😰

sorry for the tangent pome!!! and thank you so much for reaching out!!!! i guess i just wanna say that i feel bad if ive made people feel this way, ive struggled with imposing boundaries for myself but now feel better being open 💕 and i hope this conversation helps others!

[aflyingcontradiction]

So since I’m apparently in the process of cleaning house right now (which I am not particularly happy about, but oh well), I guess I’d rather rip that particular band-aid off in one go. Dear followers, full disclosure, I hold the following unpopular (at least on here) opinions that I don’t usually mention. (long-ass post behind the cut)

If you disagree with me, feel free to stay around and have a civil debate with me on any post I make or reblog (except for this one, I won’t answer).

If you feel like you don’t want to follow someone with my opinions, don’t hesitate to unfollow or even block if you want. Everyone should have the right to decide who they interact with.

If, however, you are planning to be a jerk about it, you can go fuck right out of my space and stay out. I have reached the end of my patience here. If I see any more posts on my dash that imply I’m a worthless person for an opinion I hold or an identity I have, I’m going to unfollow you. If you insult me personally, I’m going to block you.

Opinions below:

- Ironic misandry and similar jokes intended to “punch up” at entire groups of privileged people are eye-roll-inducing at best and harmful at worst, both to our activist causes as a whole and to vulnerable individuals caught in the splash damage.

- I’m sex positive. That includes kinks. Even the ones I personally find gross. As long as all participants and onlookers give their full and uncoerced consent and all participants have the knowledge to do whatever they are doing safely (or are aware of any remaining risks), I think people should be allowed to live their fantasies as much as they damn well please, without uninvolved people judging them. And if you think that a person’s “gross” kinks are a reflection on what they actually think of people and society in a non-sexual context without any evidence of that apart from the fact that they have a kink, then I think you’re mind-reading in a very uncharitable manner and you should stop.

- The term “onlookers” does not include people who deliberately seek out kinky material that squicks or triggers them. If it’s clearly tagged and you go looking for it and find it, the consequences are on you and you alone.

- The same goes for fictional content. In fact, I don’t believe there’s such a thing as fictional content that should be “forbidden” to produce and while no story should be exempt from analysis and criticism, likewise no story justifies harassing the author over it. No, not even the weird-ass underage ship over there or the person shipping the villain with the cinnamon roll hero. Also if you think that someone who enjoys reading or writing about a thing in a fictional context must condone that thing in real life without any evidence apart from their fictional likes and dislikes, again, you are mind-reading in a very uncharitable manner and you should stop. There are a bazillion reasons why someone might enjoy problematic content, few of them are “‘Cause I want to do this evil thing for real” and none of them are any of your business unless the person in question ACTUALLY does the evil thing for real, in which case it’s no longer a matter of fictional tastes anyway.

- Uncoerced consent means “In the mind of the person giving it”. I don’t accept “But they were brainwashed by society”. It is literally impossible to differentiate between societal preferences and “natural” preferences (if such a thing even exists beyond the things we literally need for basic survival). If you ask a person “Does this thing truly make you happy” and they answer “This thing truly makes me happy” - then for all intents and purposes it truly makes them happy and you’ll just have to accept that. Period. (Which, incidentally, applies to non-sexual things like lifestyle and clothing as well.)

- Just in general, trying to destroy gender roles by criticising individual people for their likes and dislikes is counter-productive.

- Doxxing may sometimes be justified, but it is never ever justified to spread personal information that you haven’t verified and are absolutely certain is true. That shit destroys people’s lives. Just. Don’t.

- I think it is morally questionable to escalate violence unless you are sure it’s necessary to prevent further harm. (E.g. Don’t reply with insults to someone asking a polite question or - more relevant to the current discourse - don’t answer verbal violence with physical violence.) Which means: No, I don’t think punching nazis is always a good thing unless it is in literal self defence or defence of someone who can’t defend themselves, in which case, punch away, I mean, obviously. The reason I think that, apart from the moral ambiguity, is that you are not going to scare them into shutting up. The internet exists. They can spread their filth anonymously without running any danger of being harmed. At best they’re going to stop saying this shit on the street until they’ve recruited enough people that they no longer need to feel scared and then we’ve got a serious problem on our hands. Besides, if you punch a nazi, you run the risk of making them into a martyr and giving them proof that they are, in fact, under threat from the outside. Congratulations, you have now made it harder for people to leave that swamp. I think what we need to do is find out why people join groups like that (and no “Because they’re evil” isn’t an answer. People aren’t born evil.) and work on removing those factors, if at all possible. At the same time we need to make sure the nazi groups in question look as ridiculous as they are and that everyone knows they’re WRONG, goddammit! Punching them isn’t going to do either of those things (vuvuzela-ing over their bullshit might accomplish one of those things.) Let everyone know that neo-nazi views are absolutely unacceptable and not just because “they’re not politically correct and you might get punched if you say that stuff out loud but secretly lots of people think that way” but because they are WRONG and MONSTROUS. Educate people about what nazism actually means and do it early and frequently so that they know before they run danger of being recruited. (Of course, having the state on your side helps, but unfortunately in the US that ain’t gonna happen anytime soon from the looks of it, so unlike us here in Germany, you’re on your own, which does make things harder. Punching still isn’t going to solve the problem.)

- Also, given that it’s not my circus, not my monkeys, I don’t have any opinions on being trans with/without dysphoria or whether or not the term queer should be used as an umbrella term or not or whether there should be two As for Asexual and Ally but I’ve heard enough arguments on both sides that I don’t think either side is 100 % wrong and evil and horrible.

- And also: I hate the term Social Justice Warrior because of the way it’s being used by people who are just generally against social justice, but I think we do need a term for bullying-under-the-guise-of-activism, because it is definitely a thing that happens.

- Also, the black and white worldview around here is draining as fuck. Again, people are not born evil. They have a reason for their opinions. That reason is frequently bullshit or downright horrible but in those cases there is a chance that they might be argued out of it or at least someone who’s on the fence could see your argument and go “Hey, that activist’s opinions make more sense”. Don’t get me wrong, nobody has to argue with bigots. Hell, I don’t want to do it either. But for the love of all that is good and holy, let the people who WANT to and feel equipped to do it, do so without revoking their social justice advocate card.

So yeah, do with this information what you will.