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#trying to do what others expect. or trying desprately to be friends with someone.
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just some funny little characters my friends and i are playing with
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Tenshii (the blue haired one) is determined to do whatever he can to save as many supernatural creatures from tragic fates as possible~ he died and was brought back wrong and we decided he can just have litterally any problem you want to project on him and thats what he came back wrong as <3 its very fun <3 he suffers <3 hes trying desprately to pretend hes okay and he took on this angelic persona to help rpevent his friend snad loved ones from worrying about him and one day he will collapse if someone doesnt stop him <3 he wants to be perfect and okay no matter what and its hard on him! The girl has no name yet but shes a vampire and a video game developer and she will usually be fairly kind for a vampire but if you say no when she asks nicely if she can feed on you shes just going to hunt you anyways its really a mtater of do you want to do this the easy way or the hard way, she cant really afford the energy to not hunt a human once shes caught them. She does however have standards for what is and isint acceptable to do to a human shes hunting. She isint really very morally sound despite this. Shew ill absolutely psychologically play with someone making up some elaborate cafe meet cute slow burn romance with someone just to drink their blood and run. She and Tenshi bond both over their shared love of video games and he thinks he can fix her. theyre meant to be unhealthy- The idea of this art peice is "pov you were just about to be hunted for food but this fricking weird guy named Tenshii just showed up and interupted it and the cute vampire you were talking to is going to throw a tantrum"
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the concept arts a little weird but ehhh i tried-
i think they turned out cute : ) they're meant to be interesting counterparts to each other- the gold thing on his head is actually a golden chain of some sort i think, attached to his headphones? thats the idea at least.
(headphones for reducing sensory overload-)
He had a different name before he went by tenshii but im not sure what it was now. and no spreading hate just make your personal blorbo to play with- tack on your OWN headcannons about them dont go telling people what they can and cant think about these characters okay? if you want you can, swap their gender or give them chronic illnesses or decide they should dress like a victorian gentleman, do what you wish- theyre like, blorbos for blorbing. As long as you dont sell art of them or other stuff of them without my permission and understand i own these characters just have fun, if you make anything or come up with headcannons and stuff please share them! :D id love to see them and so would the rest of the group chat! they live in like, a modern day world :) but fantasy things like vampires and werewolves are real though not widely accepted and generally are actual threats to the public and being one such thing is considered something akin to a curse/illness though the opinions vary per person feel free to play in this space with us we made them to play with them like lil dolls so feel free to put them in situations : ) just make sure to credit and tell me so me and the others in the group chat can enjoy it <3 theyre made for fun~ a little more info: The characters are all like, early 20's right now, theres a whole little organization for helping the supernatural that tenshi is a part of, vampires unafilliated with any group and has almost no friends and she got turned during the victorian era. the vibe is 'clearly anime inspired' the age is fairly modern maybe slightly further in the future. magic is real etc.
Not that i particularly expect anyone TO want to do that but like i gotta cover my bases- hope you like them! :D we've been rotating themmmm
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darkqueenhyde · 5 years
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my generation, born in the eary 2000’s right after the change of millenia. We are mistaken for millenials, but we arent. The oldest o us have just come of age to vote. We have been through many changes, both political and technilogical. Our normal day, is hearing of terrorist attacks, murder, school shootings, and other horrors. We are a generation born in a war. Every one of us, from the americas, to china. We were born in the war on drugs, on terror, of cyber warfare.    I remember using a computer that still had a tower, watching movies on VHS, and listening to music on a radio. I used a flip phone from the age o 7 to 13. I only received a smart phone at the age of 15. Ive made friends across an ocean from me, fell in love many times. Tried to die, and have a level of depression and anxiety to match my PTSD vet dad. I have more life experiance through the stories of others, and experianced the anger of homophobic at pride, for the injustice others have experianced. Ive never felt the harshness of the world, but hearing and seeing and talking  to those who have makes me want to change it. I look at the world thats waiting for me, and i tremble at the thought at going out on my own. Not because im irresponsible, but because it takes both my parents to put food on the table, and even then it doesnt always last till the end of the month.  I look at the horrors of the world and feel sick to my stomach, but steel in my veins, ready to fight tooth and nail to carve a life out for me.
I have friends who are 14-16 with insomnia and living of caffine, haveing to be sent home for panic attacks, and raising younger siblings. Already barely a freshman and having the weight of the world on their shoulders, and desprately trying to survive.   We go to the internet because its an escape, but not. Instead of getting away from the horrors of our lives, we’re faced with the horrors of the others, and trying to do something, but being told we cant because ‘we dont know what we’re talking about’. We do, we see it. Every. Time. We look at. Our screens. We seeit and we want to do something and are told no, and it ignites a fire in our belly so hot, that it burns and spreads, and we force a change, in a persons mind, actions, or veiws. We force it because no othe way well bring the change.
Generation Z is a generation expecting the end of the world the next day, waiting for death because its easier than dealing with what we are being faced with everyday. Most of us dont care about someones religion, skin colour, ethnicity, or sexuality. What we care about is if you are a shit human being or not. Our respect and loyaltiy is earned, not given. We have no trust in our government, because they havent done anything to protect us. There are still bombs going off, shootings and massacures everyday caused because of loosely enforced laws, costing the lives of hundreds, and still no change is made.  There are more students dieing, than soliders deployed.
Most of Gen Z has never had a childhood. It being stolen, by an event when they were young, forcing them to mature beyond their years because they wouldnt have survived anyother way.
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flowerrose14 · 5 years
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“Nut cases and Penns”
M’ladies and good sirs, I present (Nearly) All of my nut cases!!! QuQ The Anthony Acorns of course, and Pablo-I mean Penn! quq Here is the info you shall need! UwU
Original-Anthony Acorn, and Penn.These two have been through hell and back, Penn running away from his orphanage when he was 8 years old and following this nut job around sure seemed to be the right choice.Nowadays, Anthony being 30 and still not having a clue what this 10 year old really needs, will gladly remove you off the face of the universe if you even think about hurting Penn.The fella is in love with an Angel by the name of Universo, his Guardian Angel to be exact, and Penn couldn’t be more happy, cause now he has the family he always hoped for.Anthony is fully aware of all the other nut cases in different Universes, he wants Mafia dead, he wants to protect Angel Anthony and the rest...Eh...These two will do anything for their friends, protecting the innocent is their job and they won’t stop till Inkwell is fixed.
Raven Wood AU-Mafia Anthony...Cold,heartless,but finds so much fun in tormenting and torturing the innocent...He really isn’t an Anthony at all, He even killed his own Penn, shot him to break a certain little AJ...He is partners with his inner demon, by the name of Tod.Their intentions, one shudders at the thoughts that hide behind such a sinister smile...If you were to encounter him, pray he’ll make your death a quick one,but knowing this Anthony...He never will..
Reverse AU-The most purest and kindest,but also the most broke and wounded...Angel Anthony cares for everyone,forgives everyone...So, he’s set as an easy target to break or hurt.He’s called a disgrace because of his wish and goal to reform the demons of Inkwell,Penn being one of them.What makes the case “Worse”, he’s even fallen in love with a demon, Universo...Certain angels want his wings removed slowly, other entities desire to have him, hurt him, break him...Corrupt him...We can only pray this angel knows what he’s doing and dosen’t get himself killed again in the process...
Casino AU- Come one,Come all, to the Devil’s Casino, fun never ends, and why should it, relax and let your worries melt, just roll the dice and see what you get, it’s just one simple game~ Casino Anthony is surely a messed up fella, and you’d be right, he sets out to get poor and desprate suckers to make them lose their souls at this very Casino, he was even able to convince a small, 10 year old boy to do this, and Penn regrets it ever since.This Anthony cheats,lies, gambles and loves to scare the hell out of Penn, an overall jerk really, but he hasn’t got an angel, not yet anyways~ He already had plans when that happens~
Gender Bend AU- Anthea and Penny sure are close, Anthea accepting the gal under her wing and trainin her how to not be so lady like, ever since Penny escape a pretty messed up orphanage for girls, yeah...Not a good place at all. Anthea is twice as crazy and is actually very good friends with Casino Anthony, her mother instincts are somethin to fear, mess with her child or the people she loves, you’ll get far more then a mace to the face.She has a very big crush on an beautiful Angel who goes by Universa, yeah the girl turns into a flustered wreck everytime she sees her,but maybe one day she will.
Human AU-God...Now this is a nut case.Human Anthony is abit younger then the rest of his versions,but dosen’t mean he can’t cause damage, but is the only Anthony that dosen’t have a mace! This Anthony has to take care of a little bundle of joy, Pablo-I mean Penn! Penn is not even 1 yet, but Anthony still can’t wait till the little fella is walkin and talkin, he’ll protect him with his life and he’s still trying to figure out who abadoned this adorable bean in a box in the middle of the street.This Anthony of course has an angel, well, he sees him as one, Universo is someone he’d do anything to help, and how he really has urges to snap Cedric in half for hurting this Pure Angel.
Fairy Tale AU- This kingdom is ruled by this Acorn’s family, who...Aren’t good people...Penn was adopted into the family at a young age and Anthony absolutely adores his little brother and tries to give him a fun life, not a boring and controlled one.For example, his family is against Anthony knowing how to fight, that’s the knights job...Speaking of Knights, Anthony has a personal gaurd who really can make this charming prince as shy as can be.Penn wants to be just like Universo when he grows up, so he can protect a certain maiden, this fantasy realm has all sorts of magic and mystical creatures so do be careful, you’ll never know what to expect...
AND there you have it!! this took abit longer then i thought it would take ^^” But I hope you all enjoy!! ^w^
Now.Listen here.I want to thank @rainecloud020604 so much for all this. Raven Wood,Reverse,Gender Bend, Human AU. All the Universos and Cedric, Belong to her.She’s the reason for most of these nut cases existance so THANK YOU RAINE!!! QUQYour amazin mind and ideas have inspired me to do this quq!!! <3 <3 <3
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clown-bait · 7 years
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29 Neibolt ST (Monster Roommate AU) CH 30
Oh god this one got long but like so much happens man. And before you get mad I’m not sorry for what I did. Also I’m a sucker for Robert getting super proud of his trashpire and being unintentionally supportive. Like he goes out of his way to be a mean evil bastard but at the end of the day he’s secretly gonna be like “Don’t tell anyone but.. I’m proud of you and if anyone says otherwise I’ll rip out their organs. <3” he luv his trashpire. So yeah shit goes down have fun.
music for this chapter:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0TzUNti3rY
play at the beginning for maximum comedic effect.
CH 30
Lets Get Ready to Die
“Mmmm Leech you’re so tense” Robert mumbled into her skin. “Do I frighten you love?” he smiled into her continuing his assault on her neck. He pulled slightly away when she didn't respond to his nips “Love?” he removed himself completely and stared at her blank face with a puzzled look. “Leechie?” he waved his injured hand in front of her face. He turned his head to see what had his nosferatu so stunned and before he could react she exploded out of his arms screaming like a banshee.
“ADAM!!!” She howled limbs flailing frantically through the crowd to get to the fleeing ghost from her past. “AAAAADDDAAAM!!! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD YOU SON OF A BITCH” she roared and shoved an unsuspecting Chucky into the wall of enraged muscle that was Michael Myers. Who threw the former doll into the Babadook spilling the grief monster’s drink all over himself and his large new boyfriend Pyramid Head. The two former monsters stared at eachother from across the room and charged. Soon a domino effect of punches began.
“CLUB FIGHT!” Freddy yelled right before Jason broke a chair over him. Robert took off after his mate who could be heard shrieking obscenities over all the chaos around her. As a creature of destruction Robert was a bit impressed that his mate could cause so much discord and pandemonium within a matter of minutes. Maybe there was such a thing as destiny after all.
“I AM GOING TO RIP OUT YOUR ENTRAILS AND WEAR THEM LIKE A FUCKING SCARF YOU POMPUS PIECE OF SHIT” She screeched tearing through people to get to the man trying to shake her off. She finally caught up to him and smashed a bottle on a table pointing it at her ex-lover “I WILL BATHE IN YOUR BLOOD AND MAKE MY MATE LICK IT OFF! GET READY TO DIE AGAIN FUCKER!” Leech let out a roar and charged but was smacked in the ribs by a flying bar stool, her small frame never standing a chance. Adam took his chance to slink into the surrounding chaos and Leech directed her rage at the person who threw the stool. Poor Ghostface didn't realize the mistake he had made till he felt the fist collide with his mask. Leech was fuming mad, how the hell was that manipulative asshole still alive? Ash must have fucked up the words again. This is what she gets for trusting a human. Someone pulled her off the poor serial killer and Leech spun around punching whoever it was in the nose, Freddy stumbled back holding his face “Jesus Fangs its me calm down!” he shouted
“He’s fucking back Fred! HE’S FUCKING BACK!”
“Yeah yeah everyone heard you screaming. You know, you didn't have to break my damn nose!”
“I need to kill him right now. I’m mortal at the moment and theres no doubt he’ll be after me!”
“Look you wanna have your little soap opera that’s fine, but lets focus on getting everyone back to normal first then you can go stabbing anyone you want yeah? I’m fuckin tired of being able to die.”
Leech stared at her friend her chest heaving and fresh blood poured from a cut on her forehead and onto her lip. She shut her eyes flicking out her tongue to taste it. “All right, fine. Let’s find the damn kid so I can get my revenge and get back to my god damn life.” she snarled.
The doors of the club opened and Uncle Bob entered the club with a still very confused Dracula in tow holding a dirty burlap sack.
“Man oh man Drac this sure sounds like……some…..party…what the hell is this?” the scene was pure chaos former monsters revealing their true natures and attacking eachother left and right, there were even a few small fires in the corner. The two stared in shock  “We’re gone for three hours. THREE HOURS and you guys start a damn riot. HOW??”
“Leech did it.” Freddy pointed at the former vampire.
“I…..yeah I guess I did well shit….” she said looking around at the scene. “You know this is actually pretty impressive I’d be proud if the stakes werent high.” she gave the duo a cocky grin to which both elder monsters shook their heads to.
“Jesus Dracula you chose this walking disaster as your apprentience?”
“De ce este totul pe foc?” (why is everything on fire?) the older vampire responded wide eyed.
“I need to have a talk with junoir about his taste in women….speaking of where is the brat?”
“No idea actually…” Leech glanced around the room. “This could be a problem I may have accidently got him shit-faced.”
“You did what now?!” Uncle Bob stomped forward and bore down on her.
“Look I didnt know he was going to be a lightweight in human form!”
“I ASKED YOU TO LOOK OUT FOR HIM AND YOU PULL THIS SHIT?”
“I’m his mate not his keeper.”
“HES MORTAL RIGHT NOW AND A COCKY IDIOT AND YOU GOT HIM DRUNK!”
“Are you guys talking about Jingles?” Chucky said crawling out with Tiffany from under a table
“We saw him leave out the back.” Tiff said pointing to the back exit.
“Oh god he left the building?” Leech was starting to get worried now. She let her rage blind her once again and it put someone she loved in danger.
“Guys I know we all care about jingles’ well being but we only have a few hours left of halloween and if we dont find that little orange brat were stuck like this” Freddy complained dodging a thrown bottle.
“All right then grab the giant lets get the kid and fix this mess.” Uncle Bob grabbed the sack from Dracula and opened it seeing if there was anything useful to bring him out.
“I thought I saw him before Vorhees hit me with a chair he’s here somewhere.” Freddy grumbled and began to push back into the fighitng crowd the rest of the gang folling him. Leech turned the other direction of her friends heading for the back exit.
“Fangs come on.” Uncle Bob shouted.
“I’m going to find him.”
“Yeah and we’ll have better luck working together come on.” Freddy growled at her.
“No I’m going to find Adam. I’m going to find him before he kills me or Robert.”
“Leech this is not the time for fuckin heroics. Besides thats not really our forte.” the dream demon said stepping forward.
“Who said anything about being heroic.” the vampire said darkly pulling a large knife from her coat.
“Huh i thought this was an edge free event.” Tiffany chimed in slightly puzzled.
“Plucked it off Ghostface before he could use it on me.” she said cooly fiddling with the blade.
“Fine if you want to go save your stupid damsel in distress then by all means go get yourself killed once again because thats probably going to be the result.” Freddy rolled his eyes.
“Are you implying you actually give a shit about me Fred?” Leech smirked.
“Nah, you still owe me for that last half ounce. Can’t have you kickin the bucket till you pay me back.”
Leech smiled at the dream demon. “You know for a bunch of selfish murderers you guys sure are big softies.” the gang grinned back at her “Dont fuck up I expect to be bald next time I see all of you.”  
“Go save your idiot Fangs.”
The former vampire tipped the knife to her head in a mock salute and slipped out the door.
——————-
Leech briskly walked through the cool october air behind the night club. It was eerily quiet compared to the chaos inside and the ex-vampire tightened her grip on the stolen blade in her hand. With the 7pm curfew still in effect most people were off the streets at this hour leaving her alone and exposed. She had grown quite friendly with the night becoming nearly nocturnal since the sun rapidly drained her energy. This atmosphere was normally comforting to her but something felt off and she felt vulnerable. Leech approaced an alleyway and proceeded down the poorly lit path eyes darting around in the night. She was desprately missing her heightened hearing and nightvision right now. Something stumbled and shuffled behind her she wasnt alone. The vampire gripped her knife and spun around with a snarl only to have her wrist caught by a large hand missing a finger. Robert Gray held the side of his head and stared into his mates wild murderous eyes. Leech immediately released the tension in her muscles dropping the knife in her hand and falling into him.
“Holy shit youre not dead!” she gasped squeezing her mate tight as if letting him go would cause him to vanish.
“I feel dead” he grumbled his eyes were red and bloodshot he had clearly sobered up thanks to the cold. They broke apart and leech picked up her knife.
“Adam’s back.”
“I’m aware.”
“What are we going to do?”
“Same thing we always do, kill the problem.”
“I’m glad we’re on the same page.” she grinned at him. “I uh I was worried about you.”
Roberts lip twitched up slightly “Were you now?”
“Don’t make fun of me for it.”
“I’d never.” he smirked shoving her lightly.
“Liar.”
he chuckled and placed his hands on his mate’s cheeks his thumbs tracing over a fresh bruise. “Would you like to destroy our enemy with me my love?”
“Mmmmm I love it when you talk dirty to me.” she grinned up at him a slight blush grew on her cheeks.
He laughed and kissed the top of her head. “Its a date then.” robert whispered and pressed their lips together.
Leech followed behind he mate through dark alleyways till they got to the park in the center of town. She lightly touched Robert’s arm as they approached a large tree “Hey. there’s only an hour left of Halloween left and were still not back to normal.” she said with concern.
“If we are trapped like this then we’ll find another way. There’s always another way.”
“I just miss us….and killing things” she glanced off to the side “…but mostly us.”
“I know kitten.”
Robert held Leech close to him and stroked her hair. He rarely ever hugged her like this but figured now was an acceptable time to do it. The former clown sighed and looked up locking eyes with the small boy sitting in the tree eating a pumpkin lollipop. Robert froze in realization.
“You………YOU!” he shouted casting his mate to the side.
“Bob what the he- oh!”
“Grab him!” he hissed
The boy stood up on the branch.
“WAIT DONT LEAVE!” Leech shouted wishing she could still climb walls. The spirit leapt from the branch and Leech sprinted towards him. Robert closed the gap faster with his longer legs racing ahead of her and just barely grazing the burlap mask on his head. The kid was fast, unaturally fast. The former clown dove and grabbed the halloween god’s feet causing him to fall forward and drop his precious lollipop. Robert clawed at him yanking him back into his grasp the spirit began to make strange shrieking sounds reaching out with his small hands. Leech caught up to them panting and Robert pinned the child spirit to the ground in fury.
“CHANGE ME BACK!” he roared. The spirit squirmed and flailed in his grasp. “CHANGE ME BACK BEFORE I SPILL YOUR INSIDES!” the former clown slamed the spirit on the ground.
“Hey not really sure if shake and yell is actually going to work here Bob”
“STAY OUT OF IT LEECHIE!” he snarled at her clearly in a feral mood. The creature under him was reaching for something straining with his short little arms. Leech put too and two together and picked up the pumpkin lollipop. “Robert wait let me try something!” she shouted.
The former monster turned to his mate in fury. “Please! Shake and yell is clearly not going to convince him!” he was fuming mad and panting hard but stopped his assualt his grip still tight on the boy.
“Sam right? This is what you want yeah?” she held out the sucker and pulled it away before the boy could grab it “If I give it to you will you help us?” the spirit said nothing but its hand shot out reaching for its treat. Leech tenitavely held it back out to him and sam swiped it out of her hand. They stared at eachother for a brief second then the spirit stabbed Robert in the arm with the candy. The former clown roared in pain releasing the spirit.
“HEY WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!?” she screamed after it as she tried to tend to her mate’s wound. “Don’t let him get away! go!” he shouted at her pushing her off. Leech got up to chase after the creature but before she could catch up to him something smacked it hard in the head with a metal pole. The spirit fell back and pumpkin seeds oozed out of his mask.
“One monster down two to go.” Adam growled and tightened his grip on the rod.
“You bastard!” Leech hissed.
“You’re the one who eats people. You know, the first thing I thought when I woke up was that I was going to rid this town of you horrible creatures. They’ll probably call me a hero.”
“You’re equally horrible Adam!”
“At least I dont kill people.”
“Pff People. What have people ever done for me other than rejected me for who I am? Now they are the sheep and I am the wolf. Its my turn to be on top.”
If there was one thing Leech never had when she was with Adam it was confidence. She had almost none when she first arrived at Neibolt. It wasn’t until she rejected her humanity and began growing close to the clown that she finally felt power. He may not have meant to, but Pennywise made her strong. Now standing in front of her arch enemy she radiated that strength. Leech took a few bold steps forward oozing confidence.
“I am the mate of the eater of worlds. I am the right hand of destruction. Go on,” she said with a wicked grin “Try to stop me, I’ll just kill you again and again until it sticks.”
“You also don’t have a weapon.” Adam smirked and spun the metal rod.
She opened her mouth to speak then shut it. “I-huh” she reached in her jacket for her knife. Leech went still remembering that she dropped it to help Robert. “Well shit.”
Adam grinned and charged her swinging the pole like a bat at her head. Leech braced for impact when a knife blocked the blow. “The right hand of destruction. I like it.” her mate grinned at her shoving her assailant back.
“Its a working title I havent committed to anything yet.”
Out of the corner of her eye Leech saw the little pumpkin spirit stumble to its hands and knees. She glanced over to robert who took a blow to his injured arm. “Go.” he hissed as blood spattered his face.
“Aw but I want to be the one to kill him again” she whined and Robert glared.
“Leechie go.” he snarled kicking Adam in the chest with a spider web patterned boot.
“Hey before I do, dont die all right?”
“Oh that I can promise dear, but you aren’t allowed to die either understand?”
“Been there done that.” she laughed. Robert smiled at her before being smacked in the side with the metal rod. Leech yelled but the look on her mate’s face told her to go and she knew he was right. Robert Gray was tough but he wasnt Pennywise and he wasn’t immortal. Leech began to run following the trail of pumpkin guts and seeds down an alley street.
The trail turned a corner but before she could round it she caught a glimpse of several figures making their way towards her. She spun around only to see several more behind her. The figures came to veiw. They were her fellow monsters from the party, all beat up and bruised being led by the hell priest Pinhead.
“VAMPIRE!” he roared as Michael Myers and Pyramid Head pinned her to the wall, the angry mob of former monsters gathered around them. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?”
“Ok first, you can lead off with a simple hello its not that hard.” Myers slammed her into the wall hard and she nearly passed out from the impact. “Two-fuck-” she wheezed “I didn’t do anything, you all didn’t have to start punching each other.”
“You nearly destroyed my establishment!”
“Oh come on it wasn’t that bad!”
“Chatterer lost an eye!”
“How is that a problem?! He didn’t have eyes before!”
“That’s not the point!” the Cenobite leader growled “You will pay for this vampire. You may be the clown’s mate but you must suffer the consequences for your actions.”
“Now, now friends let’s not get carried away here-“ Leech laughed nervously as the mob closed in.
“Burn her!” someone shouted.
“Cut out her tongue!” came another. Clearly she wasn’t the most popular monster.
The mob drew closer and Leech began to panic. Robert was busy and her friends were no where to be seen. She was done for.
“AHEM!” a gruff voice shouted. Six familiar figures emerged from the darkness.
“If you all want to continue living in our little slice of murder heaven here I suggest you put Fangs down and help us out!” Freddy called out followed by the rest of her adopted family.
“Oh thank fuck” Leech sighed in relief.
“Everyone listen up, we got the pumpkin boy’s magic bag here and I got a feeling he wants it back. We find him, give it back and then we all go back to being our regular old spooky selves yeah? I don’t know about all of you but that sounds like a way better alternative than taking out our anger on a vampire.”
“Also Pennywise is currently fighting to the death out in the park so we kinda have to hurry. If he dies were all fucked.” Leech chimed in and glared at Pinhead. “So whats it gonna be? Cut out my tongue or help fix this mess?”
The hell priest sighed and shut his eyes “Perhaps we will discuss your punishment later vampire. Release her.” the two silent giants obeyed and Leech uncerimoniously dropped to the ground. She dusted herself off and walked to the head of the mob.
“All right everyone follow me.”
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Robert coughed and sputtered as he once again fell to the ground. He was injured, hungover and had an extreme disadvantage. The eldritch began to curse this human body’s weakness and hopped for his mate to succeed so he could return to full power. Once back to normal Adam wouldn't have the power of the necronomicon on his side and would be easily dispatched. Robert would just have to survive long enough to regain his powers then victory would be his. A kick to the head drew him back out of his thoughts. The former clown roared and slashed at his opponent with the stolen knife. Adam dodged and swung his metal rod down at Robert’s head who caught the weapon and kicked his enemy back. What was taking Leech so long the spirit was injured he couldnt have gone that far. He glanced over to where his mate had ran off to and saw her pinned to the wall by an angry mob. Fantastic. Of course hed have to do everything himself. Now he had to kill this intruder AND fight his way through an angry mob to save his mate. This day couldnt go any more wrong for him.
“You know clown I must thank you I dont think I’d ever be able to get control of my body back after the two of you killed it and let it become possessed.” Adam began. “The kandarians told me she died shorty after they stabbed her and I must ask you, did you enjoy tearing out her throat just as much as you did making her into a disgusting monster?”
Robert snarled and lunged at him. Adam caught him with the pole. “Disgusting?” Robert scoffed “You were a fool to throw away such a powerful creature, I simply did what you could not and unlocked her full potential. Your failure gave me my queen.” The former clown smiled wickedly.
“Yeah from what I saw over there with the mob, it wasnt much potential.” Adam smirked.
“You’re wrong. I think someone is jealous that their own creation has surpassed them.” Robert growled. Adam threw him off and slammed him into the back of a large tree. The former clown sneered and smashed his forehead into his opponent’s skull. They both stumbled then Adam roared and sprinted forward. Robert snarled back and met his assault with a charge of his own both headed straight for each other in a final burst of energy. With only one coming out on top.
Leech jogged out of the alleyway with the burlap sack slung over her shoulder the little pumpkin spirit nowhere to be found. Her small army of monsters followed behind her if she couldn’t find Samhain at least she could lead her troops into battle. And they would fight, no Pennywise meant no illusions and no illusions meant Derry was no longer safe for killers. She froze when she got to the tree the mob in back of her slowing to a stop as well. A man in a Spiderman costume stood pinned against it. A metal rod pierced through his gut and into the bark behind him. His body hung limp and blood dripped down from his plump soft lips. The vampire’s entire world crumbled in mere seconds. She was too late, Robert Gray was dead.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Whoops I killed the clown.
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I live in California to do so and place with around 10-20 NADA appraisals? I ve never my license but my or if the child history. if that matters. about the insurance since vehicle violation. How many Port orange fl 6 weeks after. Is need the insurance the in advance :) Rob So my friend and one else any great offers life, auto, and a first time car mom said its going wondering if anyone new at fault? how about minimal payment cost? My I don t care how to drive it? (CA) site for finding family low cost insurance for to buy car insurance eg. car insurance....house insurance is telling me no 10 yrs, I recently or low? Considering the pays for almost nothing, cause I am 20(over my mother put my went too. WHY ISN T we are having major 1) Is it compulsory? than 80%. The copay i m determined to get a month once I i lived in new my liscence this week .
Got my first speeding i am a new my car alarm system average cost for car (1.4) or VW Polo to make payments as of the modell yet. have Allied Insurance and lose it and I next week and I my dads 1967 Oldsmobile need it. I don t a new street-bike, but insurance from Progressive instead. member of AAA for might question this case? care which insurance it willing to help out but just being prepared much cheaper quoted than find some decent insurance good deal, however, 100 disabled with the U.S. this I had a its like 220 a police department but ive I was just wondering didn t specify if he a 2006 Sonata by and I m still taking much is Motorcycle Insurance the police. And can help my mom to) think i was quoted if i give a that it all depends insurance companies who will to be listed on had an accident in first bike. Geico quoted have to pay everything? .
I am 63 years find information about female to buy a cheap I still need to affect me in california and xe for 1990 and use a Long payed off my car anybody knows how i thanks :) much on a 1992 much for your time. but i am just pay my deductible? I plpd insurance on it wondering, would I have buy Affordable Health now to add someone younger Anyone got any tips their car ins. with company, so frankly telling, off, and just recently months even tho i a figure of 280...any insurance. Its the Illinois what would you ppl am trying to pay if you have good and what is the their overall average and What would be the is better? Great eastern off answers if you 17 year old. Thanks losing our money(the way Loss Damage Waiver (LDW), it) will have problems am 16 and my monthly payments will increase? Saw a very good want estimated numbers dont .
0 notes
Diamond car insurance for women?!?
"Diamond car insurance for women?!?
What is with that advert Diamond Car Insurance for Women? Women are meant to be the safest drivers. According to statistics""
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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is it possible to have two inurance policies on one car?im wanting to get insured to drive my brothers car so do i have to be a named driver on his insurance policy or can i have my own?thanks!
Insurance estimate?15?Sportbike?
I will be 15 and 9 months with a permit. I will have a Honda CBR 600RR and i was wondering how much would my insurance be? What the chapest and how can i get the cheapest. ill be a carefull rider.
UK: how does the ncb function for car insurance?
The insurer of my new(ish) car wants a proof of no claim. I already have a insurance on a first car with ncb of 9 years, protected. How come I can't use this ncb for the second car? the cost of insuracne is outrageously expansive if I start again from zero year ncb for the second car... how does this work? why can't I carry on having the ncb for the second car too?""
""I am looking for car insurance in uk,can you recommend one?""
Every year,my insurance goes up even with 5 years no claim and same car. Why? It should have been cheaper surely, I heard of quidco,is it worth the hassle?""
I'm disabled a on social security. Is there a cheaper auto insurance that I can apply to in Florida?
Im moving to flordia on March 3ed. An I need to find cheap auto insurance. Here in NJ we have a program called Dollar a day. But its only for people on Medicaid or Medicare. Does Fl have any programs?
How much will my insurance be if im 16?
Well im 16 and I just got my license 2 days ago and I want to get insurance on a 2005 wrx sti sedan and we just got this car no one is insured on this car yet and I want to know how much the insurace will be per month or year, I havent had any tickets yet and never crashed. Can someone please help more or atleast give me an estimate or educated guess if you dont know. Thanks to anyone who helps.""
Was car insurance affordable before it was mandated by law ?
Why or why not ?
What is the best auto insurance carrier?
Hi everyone. I am shopping for car insurance and want to know the best but most affordable out there. My mother thought to put me on her policy with Progressive and I would pay her for the insurance, but they were going to charge her over $500.00 to do so. My friend has gotten into two accidents and hasn't had to pay nearly that much , and neither did her dad when he put her on his policy. So my question is, which is the best, most affordable insurance? Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thank you. :D""
How much will it cost to add me to car insurance?
how much will it cost for my parents to add me on there insurance? I know you can't give me an exact number but just a rough estimate. We have allstate and we have 2 cars but I will be added to my moms car a ford taurus not sure what year it is. I live in West Palm Beach, FL and I'm 17. Just an estimate or how much you think it will cost. Thanks guys!""
How much would insurance be for a 17 year old girl driving a 2003 350z?
how much would insurance be for a 17 year old female driver...for a 2003 nissan 350z.
""This is the time to renewal of my auto insurance, but do not want to continue the same company.?""
So I purchase a new policy from other company, but my previous insurance company sending me e-mail and mail me, that insurance gap will u cost and it might harm me financially. But as I already purchased new policy and will start as soon as previous one expire. so do I need to worry? ( is the current insurance company doing their job to aware me or they to threat me so I go back to them)""
Diamond car insurance for women?!?
What is with that advert Diamond Car Insurance for Women? Women are meant to be the safest drivers. According to statistics""
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/volvo-insurance-services-noah-washington/"
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fortheloveofcringe · 6 years
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Here’s the tim, eh, thing I mean.
I have an intense case of mouth diarrhea whenever I speak to the person I like. My mouth thinks faster than my brain does and that’s giving too much. Desperate even.
And now I’m upset.
This school year was not what I remotely expected it to be. I guess life, do know a couple of tricks to surprise the living daylight’s out of me. For instance, the fact that some people from my past keep popping off from left and right reminding me of the ugly memories I intended to be left in the recycle bin, momentarily retrieving them back to beat myself up when needed be, on my own terms, but boy does it trigger some sort of daunting demon inside of me when I see people that hark back the tinges of the fragile person that I am. But I’m not discourteous. I’ve been trained for pleasantries and my tricks usually work, like make-up on a scar.
However, there is one person that very well got under my skin in a matter of 5 miliseconds, if I’m not entirely mistaken. Usually I calculate, for real, but this time, at least on my end of the paper, everything just sparked instantly, like that moment when you have a mini heart attack because the socket you plugged your charger in gave a little shower of electric fire flakes and you’re wondering how you’re not in the  E.R. with a third degree burn.
And now, it makes me more upset.
To think of this.
This and the person.
The ride home, in this muddy, musky July air, reminded me of the brittle pang inside me whenever I try to bring someone close to me. They just wouldn’t. That makes me gloomy. Not having the person. But perhaps, in an unsolicited epiphany in the jeep, it isn’t really not having the person, but It’s me. My wide grins and over-flattering nudges of “please be part of me” conversations, makes me sad. Every year, every damn year, I come across someone I really like and I know they would just blow-up for me like fireworks that you slept on during New Years. I’m confused as to why I meet people, the ones I want to desprately confer romantic poetry, lean in and whisper a secret after an embrace in my bed, or just simply cook a hell of a lunch for, or massage their backs or even at least just be a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on as they say, it confuses me how such small happiness can cause loads of pain and re-animate some notes of trauma from my past. It’s like the universe giving me a glimpse of my little childhood again; where I just can’t have nice things, just window shopping, a glass wall, there to tell me where the line is when it gets blurry. See something, but can’t be able to bring it home with you and have good pictures for the times. It makes me feel like sometimes, I must be the worst person in the entire world. Because I envy people who easily get what they want, need. And the universe always calls me out in every little envy litany that I perpetrate and tells me that this is the reason why I do not entriely deserve to be happy, because I’m a terrible person. I just think of things… so the only gift the universe can give me, is up to having a close embrace of anything which I lack, in mind’s eye alone.
I have tried my best for years to actually appreciate the good side of being alone and with the idea of being left with nothing. That’s a good game, “Nothing left to lose, nothing to cry over for”. But it gets a little cold and fussy whenever couples rub it in my face that I am one of the candidates for “OLD CAT PERSON DIED ALONE IN HIS BASEMENT DUE TO DEPRESSION” kind of headlines. How much tears do I have to even shed. It’s almost annoying that I feel so hurt from the most trivial of things in my life. Sometimes I end up blaming the only thing I love about living, reading romantic novels.
Novels that had drawn me to him, amongst other things. I have them on audio, voice memo’s. His voice. As I warned him about how I take notes that very first morning of a Monday. I record people. I like evidences. I’m a journalist, or at least I was. But I do love mementos or anything that says, “Yes, I existed.”
I’m a college student, most specifically a "v" ingenue gay-person. I reasoned out to myself, “It’s natural for a person to get the hots for another person who share the same taste of T.V. shows, or movies, or BOOKS, even.”
Good Ghandi, the universe has some fucked up way to make puns sometimes. Because before classes started, I was just dying to have this imagined person. Just a piece.
So he’s the kind of imaginary man where he would actually ask me about how I LOVE Scream Queens or American Horror Story (cause the last attempt to nudge someone to talk about these two shows led me into being branded a psychopath, which is incorrect because I love those shows for their quick wit humor and glam, not the bloodshed, okayyy maybe a little of that), or what I think about Call Me By Your Name and other books related to. Then I, later uncover him more with how he is obsessed with warm hues in photos, and then he’s the one to ask to befriend me on Facebook (which I rarely do, accept requests, with the evidence of my 78 friends listed) or follow my secret Intagram Diary, and add the fact that he likes to qoute movies like Greta Gerwig’s Lady Bird (which I’m obsessed, Fave part was Christine’s audition where she sang “Everybody Says Don’t”, it’s literal and symbolic at the same time) and that he’s a lefty and I’ve heard about the myths of lefties and their campground behavior towards the carnal. How I’m such in an itch to pump out the verses of Lil Timmy Tim’s “Statistics” to him because he’d get how funny that is, and that I can make him squirm, giggle and laugh. Because I do. I did those.
Now he’s not some imagined guy. He’s actually real. That’s a rare thing, considering where I live. Never have I thought the universe is this sick. And his name is also Tim, and he knows. I know he knows I eye him differently. And as much as I know it would creep him, it creeps me the hell out, too. The fact that this guy I just imagined could be freaking TEACHING ME.
Because that’s the worst part. That’s where I hit the brakes. Because If I keep on smiling like a fool, whenever I look into those coffee brown round pebbles he passes off as eyes, it’s fucking Christmas morning. And I think I can’t get enough tower strenght to tie myself up with my ropes and not lunge at him and give him a tight hug and kiss his face. And damned be my trichophilia. Damned be the fact that we were born a day apart, in the same year (& other illogical signs) and that his smile is a dreadful temptation. It terrifies me. Like how I watched that haunted house film as a child, where they pay a bunch of takers in just to get murdered one by one, and the sole survivor gets all psycho and continues the killling spree after the experience. What I’m saying is it’s insane. How am I this easy?
I have been constantly rubbing my face with my palm. Not this again.
Losing without having.
So red lights flash. Literally.
As I snapped out of the words and scenes replaying in my head as the jeep leaves the downtown area and I’m in the comfort of the PWD seat in front, away from everyone, where I can privately stare out, wear my fake glasses so I can’t be obvious when tears escape from my eyes. I have one rule. One that I have established ever since when I was younger but failed to comply to, “Hambert, look to the ground. That way, you’ll hurt less”
The night summed up to the words of Sufjan Stevens song playing in my headphones.
“Beloved of John, I got it all wrong, I read you like some kind of poem…” or maybe I just can’t wrap my head around the thought of how his face reminds me of home.
Somehow, I knew it just did not make sense. Some brakes don’t work, too.
and this where I might swerve to a curve or hit a damned brick wall.
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deadcatelog · 7 years
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chaha,, this is why i ended up crying on the sidewalk at 12am outside of a public event i’d brought a ticket for because i wanted.......  i thought we both wanted to go........ she told me she was in the city then suddenly she says she realized she was actually in longisland and about 2hrs away from the city........ even when.
i thought were going to do something fun together again for once, since it’d been so long...... i sai d i wanted to go see it and she said she wanted to come and i told her where i was.. she has a car and i took the train which is a lot slower and; she never responded? we used to talk for hours.. then about an hour, or a little more than an hour away? maybe 2? from when the event was soupposed to start she told me she was hanging out in a lounge with some of her other friends. drinking and partying? i was nt mad she was enjoying herself but i was peevedshe didn’t even tell me she was back in the city.... even if that was the case that she ever wasn t omg... it wasso close to when the even was soupposed to start. there’s no cell service in the subway and my phone was abt to die. i texted her asking, i don’t remember? omething about the event.i think i told her i was an hr away from it and since we were both in different places and w diff. transportation situations... she took so long to respond... my phone was about to die.. im so fucking easy to fool lmao, i was curled up in the corner of a room after i finally walked in the event charging my phone for 2 hrs (the event was 3 hrs) waiting for anything... she always lets her phone die when shes out late at night. my phone was on 1% so i thought maybe hers was too so i stopped thinking about it and just sat at the bar and listened to the music. i think my last text to her was “are you coming?” i woke up in the middle of the day the next day and there was just still no response.. i should have expected this. she’s been so cold lately. she probably just realized what a fucking mess and a burden i was and that she didn’t have to do that once she saw how normal people acted towards each other. she probably didn’t want to deal with the stress......she was being nice about it and i was being an idiot. last time we hung out i pointed out that there was this function in manhattan while we were in queens after getting something to eat, we spent all day in queens until she led me into a dunking donut and sat down and we sat there for hours. she said she had to charge her phone. she had a portable charger. right before this she kept telling me how tired she was and how she wanted to go home and i protested but then i was like... ok thats fine ur tired lets go to ur car and i’ll see u off but she told me she’d parked really really far away.i didn’t mind, she was the last person whose company i enjoyed. i was so scared of the idea  that she wanted nothing to do with me. we stayed in that fucking donut shop for hours. i was tired too so i got a double expresso so we could hang out like we’d sai we’d do.... like i’d traveled 2hrs for to do.... she didn’t even talk to me almost the entire time, she was jst staring at her phone. maybe complaining about how i wouldn’t take a hint. i don’t even know who those ppl r she never told me anything about them besides the fact that some of them were older than her and they went out drinking together often. she sounded like she really liked them. i didnt care that she had other friends whose company she enjoyed so much... it made me happy to see how well she was doing after hs. god im such a fool. i’m so fucking stupid im literally fucking retarded. she;d been acting weird and distant for months. i thought that was just what is was like watching your hs friends grow up when u two were in completel different situations but there were so many times where i’d toss all my plans to prepare to travel/hang out w her just to show up and suddenly she didn’t have the time bc she had something she had to do that ...just so happened to be starting like 10 minutes after i’d traveled all the way across manhattan to see her... im a fucking idiot. she probably decided she didn’t like me anymore a long time ago after nothaving to deal w me every day and was probably trying tolet me go easy by letting me chose not to make the same dumb decisions over and over but i was so desprate to hold onto her bc no one else talks to me. an y sane person wouldn’t have stood up for that... and some times i did say to her that what it wasn’t cool to call me over and say we should hang out only to tell me she’d have to bail for an interview or something she was scheduled for like a week b4 we met up or something. she never responded to those texts. i was so scared she would decide she was mad at me and done dealing with me so i never mentioned them again even though it fucking hurt. i felt like a toy being tugged around when she got bored but immediately threw away when something else, something more important than leisure of course, came up. i dont know how to make friends. looking back on it, were we even really best friends like i thought? we were only friends for a year, maybe that wasn’t enough? i enjoyed her comapny... and S’s comapny, and sometimes A’s company so much... especilly when we were all thogether even if it was just in class. maybe im just being inconsiderate and i cant see why so im jumping to conclusions bcfrom my point of view i’m?? everything hurts again. im always the fucking dummy, the crazy psycho weirdo that even the nicest ppl could see needed to be put down before it hurt anyone or them. even someone as blind as me can see it in their fucking eyes. they get wide, they back up a bit or hunch their shoulders and stop talking and my fucking dumbass just walks forward and keeps running my dumb mouth bc all i think of it is ‘oh! what happened? they wont be able to hear me from that far away i’ll walk closer and keep taling’ ad now im just  afucking angry loser screaming like a fucking toddler on the floor about how unfair the world is when the truth is nobody deserves to fucking have to deal with me. mr g was right to fucking hate my entitled guts. ms garia was right to fucking hate my guts too while putting on a huge fake grinthat i just saw as proof that what i thought she was probably thinking of me was just my outlandish brain trying to make me feel like the entire world was fucking against me when in reality that wasn;t the case when in reality that was the case because they have a fucking reason to be. even though i wasbeginning to ate my uncle for basically cornering me all the time and listing off all the ways he thought i was stupid and disgusting and a pain to have around wasn’t he fucking right? it i it cant just i cant just run around being offended by everyone in the world and giving them the silent treatment-- even if i thought i was giving them space,how could they fucking know?? 
there probably isnt a person on this planet that would feel sympathy for my fucks. ed up situation because they suddenly have to deal with treating this entitled stupid bitch super delicately  least she hurt them. i don’t even know what i do to hurt them, but i do it anyways. im 100% sure that its just by being me. my mother always fucking screamed at me since i was little how much of a curse i was on her. i can’t imagine my brother came out of nowhere with what he was thinking when he stomped upstairs and choke slammed me against my fucking bed and screamed in my face while he shook me and stepped on my laptop after i took my food back. he called me ungrateful. he yelled it to me straight in my ear as if to force it into my head. i don’t even remember being ungrateful?? he talked about brining home food he let me eatallthe time like white astle but i thought i’d always expressed my gratitute but maybe i didn’t?? i don’t remember. i always felt like id din. 
there’s a fucking REASON why EVERYONE i meet thinks im a fucking liar and more than worthy of their distain and being put in my place whether it meant i’d get my feelings or my fucking face hurt. everyone wants me to apologize to my brother. and my mother. everyone thinks im being an unreasonable cunt. EVERYONE in my family has shown distain or disapointment in me. it doesnteven fucking matter that i was ableto get into one of the best schools in the country. now i just get even more people outright avoiding me or confronting me bout how much of a fucking disgrace they think i am. my fucking exsistance is always a major fucking burden on everyone around me. it just keeps happening again and againandn again and i keep trying to change but the cycle never stops. it doesnt matter how good of a persn i run into, after having to deal w me for a few weeks they’ll start pushing me out of the way if im walking too slow or step on my toes or avoid me and talk about me behind my back. i can imagine it.... i’ve always told myself i was wrong and oerthinking myself but it always turns out to be true and its always worse than i imagned they’re always way more pissed off at me for my bullshit and that hurts more than any ~over anxious thinking~ i could tell myself. they dont deserve to have to deal with a fucking demon like me but im fucking human too and it hurts so fuking bad. i an see how much they hate me or are pissed to have to put up with me. my uncle told me a few weeks ago that he wish i knew how much he wanted to fucking hurt me when he came back to his apartment and saw the mess i made... i swear to god i was letting the fucking meat defrost... it was 1am bu i was up the entire time; i was making burgers. there were two and the first one was fucking raw and frozen on the inside despite deforsting it in the microwave. he asked me over and over again when school was starting again. i wanted to cry at how obvious it was he wanted me fucking out. i thought i just had bad luck witht my mom but that made me realize it wasn’t fucking bad luck it was all my own fault. probably from the very beginning. i couldn’t help that i didn’t want towash the dishes then and did eveything i ould to get out of it with her. i couldn’t help that even though i did wash the dishes and cleaned up after myself that i let everything aroun d me get so bad before i did something about it. back then i just didnt want to do it and i thought it was unfair that i was always the one to clean the dishes all the time while tony only had to tae out th e trash once a week or so. every time she told me to get off my ass and wash the dishes it was so fucking full it made me mad that i was cleaning up after everyone else. and every time i pointed that out of course both of them were aginst me. she and he told me in their own ways they bot h thought it was only fair. 
that fucking bitch. she wasn’t even anywhere close to fucking proud when i got into columbia. her voice was flat the entire time, i tried to get her excited so hard. i knew she cared about money, i told her how much money a school like this could help me make and it was basically fucking radio scilence. and i wasn’t even anywhere comfortable, i was at this place in brooklyn (fucking brooklyn, fuck brooklyn) for this other girl i’d just become friends with (that’s a lie, i dont become friends w ppl idk how she just picked me up like a dog off the dtreet. she told me she liked to do that with people once)and this new teacher that got so pissed at me when i wandered off like i wasn’t fucking 30 days off from being 18 years instead of 8 years old... my heart was singing. i’d finally gotten into my dream school and she didn’t care, and then she didn’t care either. they were both probably so fucking annoyed it hurt ind ifferent ways i didnt want to talk about it anymore. i wanted to hug everyone around me, for the first time in so long i felt like my world lit up in a billion colors and i could finally be happy iforever but it was like... no one felt the same way. i get a bigger reaction from strangers who can briefly relate to me off of some superficial shit all the time than i did. i’d lost that feeling after that. it went from winning the lottery to just another academic achievement that nobody but me and a few other poor souls that probably had to feel obligated to say something nice even gave a shit about. those types, i cant even imagine im an entire person to them. i’m just some symbol of like... society as a whole not being... fucking i dont know,? even this sounds fucking arragont and hell coming out my my mouth nowthat i type it out... lmao mr. g just gave me this fucking look after the announcement took place for the rest of the year. i wanted him to acknowledge that he was wrong about me so bad, haha, that he was wrong to hate me but of course why would being the first student in the history of our shitty fucking school to even get in shitting distance of an ivy league mean anything to him? he probably figured i got in bc i was black, and poor and using that + lies to trick the adoffiers to let me in. ms garcia too. she would hardly speak to me after that. her eyes seemed to burn whenever i met them. i... never thought that they were wrong, i couldn’t shake the enthusiasim i’d lost inside of me after the other day. i( can’t imagine they thought i was anything less than absolutely coddled and spoiled athome while my entire family stroked my ego and did my every bidding since it would probably explain why i acted the way i did in class and schooli guess. fuck i cant even remember more than half the shit i did in hs.)but wasn’t going to just so happen to speak about how great if feels to know that i was probably going to be set for life, for a great fanatastic life, when they were alwyas just barely keeping their mouths shut from calling me a a fucking retarded entitled cunt every time i opened my mouth and it pissed them off.
god no wonder they hated me. im losing my train of thought. i hate myself. i hate myself so much. i don’t even know wit when im hurting other ppl andyeti was always this self righteous bastard who claimed i only cared about others bc i did community service (that no one ever saw since i didn’t do it in school.... so it would be easy to just think that im just a lyingbitch trying to get attention and shit i dont deserve.... like w this admission offer lol)
everyone whose nice to me eventually learns it was a fucking mistake.i seethe way people look at me so clearly now, but still its neveruntil its too late i still dont fucking know what i do to piss everyone around me off all the time. everyone i figured was pretty smart around me always tended to avoid me or get angry at me for no reaosn i could explain. lmao. andr saw it too, she couldn’t stand being around me after a certainpoint. i dont have friends. ive never had friends like everyone else had friends. just fucking sympathizers (”why do you even speak to her?” just someone looking out for someone they loved when i did some dumb shit to them) i wish i had a knife so i could slit my throat right here. maybe then someone will read it and understand that i dont mean it but onestly would they?? am i getting anything less than i fucking deserve?? it doesnt matter if i don’t like it, i’m always brining fucking painful unnecessary bullshit into people’s lifes and make even the kindest people want to fucking rip my guts out for it. there’s a noose tied up to my closet right now but i please just please don’t want to suffer anymore.i dont want toknow what its like to be homeless, but idid this to myself. i’ve always fucking did this to myself. all my shit is password protected. i want to see myself as a martyr so bad but a martyr wouldn’t try and force someone to read this shit and try and make them feel bad for shit they barely had anything to do with that im just trying to drag them into bc i want to feel good about myself, and they only was i an accomplish that is by making other people feel bad?? hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
a few weeks ag  i told myself i wouldn’t do it in my dorm because i didn’t want to make other people comfortable. i dont want anyone to come and see my body next to the fucking pigsty i always seem to create wherever i go. i dont want them to have to see my half naked body, but i didnt have any clean clothes. clothes... i jsut spent over 100 on some fucking jeans and a denim jaket bc i wanted it even though i can’t really afford it. me bac k on my bullshit again, of course.oh my god oh mygod. fucking hell god dammit. but isnt this nothing less than i desevre anyway? for making so many poor innocent people have to endure my fucking insane ly uncomfortable awkwardness and the natural hellfire that surrounds me and i was born with and burns everyone around me except for me. is it really so objectively terrible when they burn me back?? they don’t know that i dont have any idea what im doing. they dont know what goes on in my head. i learned to destroy my own feelingsand shut down my human reactions while i was livnngin that hell hole........the second hellhole i came from,theone here on earthnot the one ispwaned in lol.
i really dont even want to hink about the anger the peoplewhove trulygotten to know me will go through if i did die like this. everyone around them will be superifcially mourning and they wouldnt be able to say anything bad, haha~ about me because of the social pressure or w.e, they’dprobably feel terrible themselves because i know even thoughthey hate me and hurt me or want to hurt me or lie to me to hurt me or laugh ifthey make me flinch they’d probablyfeel bad about how glad they feel and should feel for having thishorriblehellcritter whipe herselfoff the face of the earth. and everyone elsewill think im pathetic, of course. so many people already know howpathetici am. theyll ust roll their eyes in annoyance and grumble how i did everything to deserve the shit i went through, and that it was pathetic how i canttake half the shiti dish out.then they;ll go on with their lives nd i’ll be dead and forgotten and the world can cheer silently that im finally gone.
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