#trying to think of cool code names for emma rn

[rosie-toast]

Two freaks in living like shit in new york who now have to steal a baby from the united states government

[cassierobinsons]

it's no worries! i'm delighted you're answering my asks at all lmao. i really think you and i are on the same wavelength about this show, you're really cool, and you have really good and thoughtful takes.

i blocked that kitsune episode from my memory ugh. it really shouldn't have been a surprise what dabb ended up doing to billie even when she was his character considering how consistently racism creeps into his work.

i'm very sorry you're having to experience season 9, you're very brave to not just skip it. 10 i think is slightly better mainly because it introduces rowena who's a lot of fun and gets some depth as the show goes on (being a hot milf witch also helps a lot) but also mark of cain is not a good time. 12 is a trainwreck in terms of like. watching it as a form of television but the dean and mary scenes hit super hard and feel like they belong on an earlier season that would give them a real resolution.

"like i do not like s8 sam at all but at least there was something going on there! he was a hayes code homophobe and had the haircut of a premade sim but it was something!"

he was soooooo wack about benny lmao. i think it was meant to be portrayed as him projecting his own experiences with ruby but benny literally never did anything wrong so it just made sam look like a dick. which i prefer, i think sam being initially weird about dean being bi as something he never considered is more IC than ex-gsa member sam.

very much agreed on gamble-genuinely interesting ideas but not great execution. i can't think about what happened with lisa without wanting to bite. maybe it's for the best he wasn't paired with cassie instead post swan song because i can't imagine the awful shit they'd pull with her.

(following on from this ask THIS CHAIN IS GETTING LONG LMFAO)

aw thanks anon 😊 i'm enjoying the chance to longform chat about this terrible show.

dabb's racism is easily his worst quality. he's a dean anti and his writing is often mean-spirited but WOW does his racism dwarf everything else.

i've been stuck on s9 since early december and plan on going back to it once i've made some progress catching up on the shows i'm watching rn (namely search party s5, the expanse s5, hacks, AND yellowjackets) so like. realistically i'm not going back until feb lmfao. even then i don't give a shit about the plot rn so i'll only watch eps for cas or when minor characters pop up. i've said this before but the decision to kill kevin off reaaaally weighs on me as being spn's nadir, a real No Melanin Allowed moment. jeremy carver can meet me in the pit, idgaf.

yeah the mark of cain plotline sounds so 😒 and i know what i'm about to say sounds WILD considering the last 3-4 days of dean apologism but ultimately. i am a casgirl who loves dean but not a deangirl so while i love s4 dean's noxious era the prospect of a season and a half of it bores me to tears. toxicity? from a man? groundbreaking. i am looking forward to meeting rowena though. she sounds so cool as a character it's genuinely baffling that a show like spn came up with her.

12 is a trainwreck in terms of like. watching it as a form of television but the dean and mary scenes hit super hard and feel like they belong on an earlier season that would give them a real resolution.

there are a plethora of moments i hear about in the later seasons have me like. damn. this would've been Masterpiece Theatre if it happened 5 years earlier. still, i'm looking forward to watching some of the motws in s12. regarding dean will probably revive brainworms that have lain dormant since my s1-2 deangirl days.

sam was so fucking terrible about benny jdsfdjkfjs and i get that they were trying to parallel it with ruby and especially amy but man. the whole point of the slice girls is that sam killing emma is meant to cancel out the amy thing like pemdas. and it's an evil and wrong point! but it's a point. so having sam get pissy over benny makes him look so bad because bro you literally put a bullet in his daughter, you DO NOT get to be precious about this. but it does lend credence to my personal theory that it's hard for sam to draw from his supposedly deep well of empathy for other supernatural creatures if he cannot directly project his issues onto them 🤭

i've posted briefly about the queer subtext in citizen fang (bonus commentary by @softbrah) and yeah, it is strong evidence that sam has no fucking clue dean desires men carnally. in the secret good s9 that exists in my head dean & human!cas start fucking after like 3 weeks in the bunker and sam is sent into a tailspin.

the lisa&ben thing was gamble being at a 10 when she should've been at a 2. or like a 6 tops. you can tragically bury dean's dreams of being a dad without having him do this horrible thing to his exgf and her son i promise! you don't have to make a writing choice this evil! makes me extremely glad that he didn't go to cassie in canon because gamble handling a black female character is the stuff of nightmares. i do want more deancassie in fic though, stat!

[smallblanketfort]

hey emma! it's the recovery anon! i would like to take a new name, if that's okay. i wanna be the fruit punch anon instead. i like the cool code names that the other anons have so i want one too. update: i have gotten better, my life is looking up and i'm gonna stay clean this time. it's kinda rough cause there's a lot of stress rn, my mom relapsed, etc, but i have no urge to. i have found refuge in a person i love and i feel welcomed. i'm still not quite opening up to people, (1/2)

but it’s nice to know that i am loved! i really hope i don’t sink as low as i did ever again. it’s nice feeling how i do now. other than possibly having the flu lol. also, when you told me to message you on twitter, i found your twitter but it wouldn’t let me message you because you weren’t following me. i would like to end this with asking, how are you? how have you been? what’s the brightest and your most favorite parts of your day?

hi fruit punch anon! you are a Cutie. i’m very glad that things are looking up for you, through some things failing to do so; i think that’s when it’s most encouraging i guess, when things test your ability n you feel okay[ish]. you’re doing so well. keep fighting this and remember these messages. i’m glad you’re here. i like seeing u pop up in my inboc.

oh no! i completely forgot, i’d meant to change that back oops. fixed it.  should be able to message me on twitter regardless of being mutuals now (funny story tho i didnt even realize that “making mutuals” was a thing until like. three weeks ago. so sorry to anyone that followed in hopes of that. whoops.)

i’m okay i guess. i’m relieved that a lot of my stress is lifted bc i got through this week. but i’m also just. embarrassed and anxious and i really really wish i was a different person.

i guess im just very frustrated with myself, bc a lot is handed to me. every semester, a couple new people try to make Actual relationships with me, without me trying to get their attention. they try to get me to join their friend group. I get promotions and raises and opportunities. Professors and people around me validate me and my weird af interests all the fucking time. people are always nice to me. there are my dream concerts in town every other week. but i can never seem to reciprocate or grip any of it, i could have a “perfect” ish life, but my hands aren’t strong enough to grasp any of it. im such a disappointing excuse for a human. god must be so annoyed. lol

hmmm i really liked seeing my chipmunk friend this morning. and i saw a cardinal on the patio at the coffee shop. i did really like sitting in a coffeeshop for literally five hours today. they repainted the bathroom… it used to be completely covered in sharpie graffiti… i miss it. but the air was warm today. i took of my denim jacket and two ppl wanted to look at the buttons and patches. the sunset was very Big and pretty. i am very small.