When the past won't let go
Summary: Sometimes there’s more to the story
Pairing: Cordell Walker x Reader
Word Count: 2511
Warnings: cursing, past memories, angst, personal conflict, mentions of death, revealing secrets
Square Filled: Forbidden Relationship @walker-bingo
A/N: This segment is told from Walker's POV
A/N II: part six of Duke x Reader/Cordell x Reader series of drabbles and stories for this bingo.
*Set between 2.05 Partners and Third Wheels & 2.06 Douglass Fir
*divider by @firefly-graphics
*no beta-all mistakes are mine
Walker
“Agent Graves knew Stan Morrison killed your wife...”
Those eight words turned my heart inside out again.
It was a good thing Micki showed up at that moment, she took one look and ordered me to take a walk before I lost my shit and hospital security got called.
I ended up in one of the city's parks heading down a hiking trail that thankfully wasn’t busy this time of day came to an outcropping near the river, sat down, and took off my hat, letting it dangle between my legs, going back over that year.
The pain was followed by excessive drinking and extended workload, using both to numb me, barely going through the motions of life without actually being in it till the accident at home and decided it was best for all to leave, going undercover on Operation: Watch The Throne.
After months of trying to make inroads, those two women came; Twyla Jean, who got me into the Kings through a fake relationship, and Y/N, the mystery piece who made me put in the work to crack open the door she used to keep everyone at bay.
The one my memories, or is it my heart, refuses to release me from.
Later Stan’s betrayal was exposed after years of friendship..hell, the man was family, sent us all into a tailspin cumulated with us standing upon that spot forced him to confess after Emily stumbled upon a drug haul he pulled the trigger on the kill shot to save his own skin from Northside Nation.
All this time, now I’m wondering how many other things I’ve missed.
I peered through the view window to see Micki texting on her phone spotting me taps a finger to her lips, and came out quietly shutting the door.
“You cooled off?”
“Yeah, hey, thank you for giving me some time to sort stuff out.”
“Is it sorted?”
“For now. So did Y/N write anything else about Mannon?”
“She wrote down a few places he might be hiding but so far, no sign he’s been to any of them. The doctor came by and said she’ll be out tomorrow. I let Cap know and he’s arranging a safe house.”
“Okay, good.”
“So, you wanna tell me about it?”
“No.”
Micki’s eyebrow arched, “since when?”
I spy James coming down the hall, “how about not right now.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
“Hold him to what?” James asked, “Cap, we all set?” Micki deflected.
“Everything’s set but I’d rather finish this discussion a little more privately,” he opens the door for her to enter first, “I called in a couple of favors and got the safe house in Buffalo.”
“That’s not in our jurisdiction,” Micki says and James lowers his voice, “I did some digging. It’s not been substantiated but it’s looking like Mannon may not only have informants in Austin but other law enforcement agencies, so we need to fly under the radar on this.”
“You’re thinking Graves is on the leaks?”
“I could’ve told you that,” a scratchy voice answered.
“You’re supposed to be writing, not talking.” I sternly say and you give me that particular look hear James stifle a laugh before clapping my shoulder, “good luck with that.”
Next morning
The nurse had finished going over discharge instructions when James dropped by with the safehouse details and informed us that the landlord had taken what Y/N had of value as payment for damages and tossed everything else.
“My bag, y’all happen to confiscate it?” James shook his head, “I’m sorry, we didn’t find it.”
“What happened to the clothes I had on?”
“They had to cut your uniform off and you were barefoot.”
“Leave it to that sonuvabitch to take my last sixty-five bucks.” Y/N croaked out.
“I’ve already signed off on a purchase voucher for what you’ll need,” James said, “I’ll reach out to some contacts who can help with getting you back on your feet once we have Mannon in custody.”
Tugging at the robe-covered hospital gown, “wonder if they’ll let me keep this lovely ensemble, maybe get some of those awesome slippers to match since I don’t have a-pot to piss in.”
She broke off coughing and I grabbed the water cup, “that’s what you get for talking too much,” sticking the straw between her lips. “You can borrow my stuff till we get you some.”
“I’m no charity case, Ranger Walker,” Y/N mumbled around the straw.
“Never thought you were.”
Buffalo, TX
“Well, this is quaint.”
Micki’s sarcasm wasn’t far off.
The safe house turned out to be an older one-bedroom, one-bath ranch in the middle of nowhere with a pull-out and doorways I have to duck through.
“At least we got a clear view of the perimeter.”
“For once I’m happy it’s winter, makes it harder for anyone to hide, even in camo,” Micki commented. “We’ll still need to periodically check around that corpse of trees, looked pretty thick when we pulled in.”
“Let’s hope Mannon hasn’t caught on to our ruse and is following the decoy to Fredericksburg.”
Micki opened the fridge, “whoever set this up didn’t leave much, I better do a supply run.”
“Why you?”
“Cause an almost 6’5” Sasquatch in Ranger clothes isn’t gonna stand out?”
“Good point. Head out-of-town so locals stay in the dark.”
“I’ll change and go to Palestine or Mexia,” Micki grabs her bag and goes into the bedroom leaving the door cracked, “gotta feeling we'll be stuck here for a while, so I’ll double up on the groceries, especially with how much you pack away.”
“Funny, where’s Y/N?”
Micki walked out slipping on her jacket and crossing her arms, “locked herself in the bath muttering something about preferring the hoosgow then stuck in an ace in the hole with a tenderfoot and blatherskite. She’s got quite the mouth on her.”
“Y/N tends to be colorful when stressed.”
“What’s she like normally?”
“Sarcasm on a shingle.” Y/N sarcastically quips.
My breath hitched seeing you in my flannel and faded jeans, the type so worn in they’re almost too comfortable to take off, accentuating your curves that’ve haunted my dreams spot toes peeking out under the rolled cuffs.
“What’re you grinning at?”
“You ahh, you still wear that purple polish.”
“Right. I’m gonna get going,” I felt Micki’s scrutiny, mouthing behave, making mine downturn in response.
“I see Ramirez doesn’t tolerate any of your bullshine either.”
Not giving me a chance to respond, you walk off to the cupboard finding the extra set of bedding and pillows come back, cocking your head for me to move.
“What’re you doing?”
“Making up the pullout.”
“Okay, but you’re not sleeping out here.”
“Why?”
“What’d ya mean why? You’re doubling up with Micki..”
“You two can double up in this dice house, I’m parking it out here!”
“The hell you are! Look, your ex has proven he can slip in and out of places undetected so until he’s in custody, we’re going to need to keep you within eyesight 24/7.”
“Ranger Walker, does that mean you’re personally gonna join me in the bath and scrub my back?”
“I..you..you know that’s not what I meant!”
“I’m not going to argue this one,” your voice is wearing out from overuse, “Y/N you probably aren't gonna believe me but I understand what a traumatic..”
“How am I supposed to believe anything coming from that mouth of yours?” Shit, the sheer vitriol in your voice.
“I know this is my only chance at earning any trust from you again, and I‘m gonna be one hundred percent open and honest.” Sitting down I looked up at her with no filters, “remember me telling you about my wife?”
“You said she died in an accident.”
“Her name was Emily. The last time I saw her, she and a friend headed for the border, restocking supply stations. She called..she was so scared then I heard gunshots..I tried calling her back but I knew.”
Fuck, feel like I’m gonna choke on my tongue.
“After the funeral, I buried myself in the job and the bottle. Finally, my family, James, and Stan Morrison did an intervention. I couldn’t be there anymore so I told them I was taking the undercover job outta town..and lost myself in those months. ”
I wasn’t expecting you to sit down next to me, let alone place your hand on my leg, and took the risk of placing my hand on top of yours.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes and have no right but I am asking you to give me, Cordell Walker, a chance to prove you can trust me.”
Days later
“How much more time does she need?” Micki snapped.
Y/N’s indecisiveness was wearing on all our nerves, seriously thinking of hitting that bottle I’d snuck in.
Of course, it didn’t help this morning Micki decided to try talking, okay, she tried some psychoanalysis learned from Adrianna, leading to one helluva blowout that had me physically hauling Y/N outside like a sack of taters.
Glancing away from you angrily pacing outside to an equally angry Micki, “as long as she needs. Look, we’re all tired and cranky..”
“You think?”
“We can’t push..”
“.. then implement those charms of yours Beau so we can..”
“Wrap this up and move on to the next case?”
We both startled not hearing you come in, “gee, wish it was that easy for me, I’d love to be able to move on from this.”
“You’ve had ample opportunity to tell anyone in law enforcement..”
“If I had, I'd been dead a long time ago.”
“What?”
“There’s a shitload more to this than you’ve been told.”
“Walker, grab that bottle I know you’ve got, and let’s all get real comfortable,” Micki retrieved three cups and sat down.
“I don’t wanna discuss my personal goings-on so let’s start with what brought him here.” Y/N threw back her drink, “ya know why I ditched my real name?”
“Your file wasn’t clear.”
“Because I wouldn’t play their reindeer games.” Not entirely sure where she was going and Micki appeared as puzzled as me. “Wait, you two really don’t know who my family are?”
“No.”
“Daddy got his start by helping certain elected individuals with their less-than-legal activities. In appreciation, they made him Senator Y/D/L/N.”
“One of the Senators who confirms PSC appointments,” Micki states, and I add, “PSC oversees DPS,” some more pieces click, “he found out about Stan’s illegal activities.”
Y/N tapped the side of her nose.
“The mysterious appearance of pension funds also blipped on the Secret Services financial investigations radar but they didn’t have enough tangible evidence against Morrison. It was sheer coincidence Eric was sent at the same time the Kings started robbing banks.”
“The Kings started a few months before Walker went undercover.”
“No, they’d started small a few years ago, Clint wanted it down to a T before moving on to bigger game, that was Eric’s in. He came up with partnering with Northside; in exchange for laundering the money, they’d make a delivery or pickup while on the circuit, that’s how Clint, Crystal, and Jaxon got misdemeanor drug charges. When Twerp came in, Clint persuaded her into giving Northside banking information on the businesses they were interested in, like The Side Step and Carlos Mendoza's family businesses.”
“Wow, gotta give it to Graves,” Micki interjects, “she’s better at burying shit than I’d given her credit for.”
Y/N gave me a curious look, “you didn’t know any of this?”
“No, but it makes sense, what Stan said, this can’t go on. I thought it was my screwing up at home but I was already getting too close before going under, why he hoped that the Rodeo Kings would end me.”
“Just like Clint, might’ve called you family but didn’t stop him from turning if he thought you were a threat.”
Micki pointedly glares at Y/N, “and you blithely went along with them, not caring who got hurt..”
Y/N shot outta her seat and disappeared outside.
Shit!
I sat down next to Y/N and leaned back against the same corps trees that half circled a small pond hand her one of the mugs I’d brought.
“Been out here awhile, thought you might need a warm-up.” She took a sip and smiled, “you’ve never forgotten what I like since that first time you offered me coffee.”
“My daddy told me before I got married, ‘son, the key to a happy marriage is never forget what a woman likes to drink’.”
Y/N sighed, “Clint always was crazier than a Kiowa Paint Mare, somewhere along the way, he got twisted. I never believed he’d take things that far, or hurt your family as he did.”
“How’d you..”
“Trevor. He told me everything but your real name.”
“Clint blamed me for Crystal, for what happened that day, wanted me to understand what it was to suffer. If Trevor hadn’t interfered, I’da killed him with my bare hands.”
“Then you’d have become him.”
“Hmph, I’ve been on the edge of that precipice more than once.” “But you didn’t jump,” she said, “your Jimmy Cricket didn’t let you.”
“Let your conscience be your guide Jimmy Cricket?”
“No, don’t know what else to call it. That something that stops you from stepping off the ledge of not coming back,” she shrugged.
“For me, it’s my family. No matter how hard it gets, they never gave up on me.”
Y/N starts playing with the chain for my dog tags, making the rational part of my brain holler at me this is wrong, she’s under my protection and off limits.
Irrational desire flames in me as her feathery touch makes my skin tingles, accept the invitation of tasting her sweet lips.
A hand covering my mouth instinctively made me grab their arm.
“Walker, it’s me,” Y/N whispered before removing her hand, “stay quiet, there are people moving around outside.”
“How many?”
“Not sure but I saw three night-sights.”
Shit, not good hear Micki stirring, “hey, we’ve got company.”
***
“Slow down but don’t stop,” I reach for my duffel from the floorboard.
“Walker, whatever you’re thinking, don’t.”
“Stick to the plan..”
“..you bailing out of a moving vehicle wasn’t..”
“He’s right,” Y/N grabs hers, “sticking together gonna get you killed. I’ll split, you two can say it was during the firefight and..”
“..I’m coming with you..”
“..the hell you are..”
“..you are in my custody and my responsibility. Micki, got any extra cash on you?”
I rifled through the wallet she tossed me, “get Liam to discretely look into Graves’s recent activities, got a feeling Mannon’s sudden appearance wasn’t random, and tell James I’ll be in contact in a few days.”
“Walker..”
“I know. Be careful Flor, we don’t know who to trust inside the circle anymore.”
Glancing in the rearview mirror, “on three.”
SPN TAGS: @donnaintx @lyarr24 @flamencodiva @b3autyfuldisast3r @lassie-bird @nancyml @spnbaby-67 @leigh70
Sam/Jared: @idreamofplaid
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