#tyelpe you stupid frick

[effervescentdragon]

Curufin and grief !!

this is to cheer you up a bit bcs of your cold, and i know it took me ages, but inspiration is a fickle bitch. if i was there, id make you tea and run for croissants in the morning and cuddle you even if i got the cold myself, it'd be worth it <3

They talk about the Firstborn often, and their Gift occasionally. It takes all of his willpower not to scoff outright at their foolishness, but he can't help the sneer that sometimes seems permanently etched into the plane of his face.

(It is a face everyone who was born in Aman knows; a face most of those born in Aman flinch away from; a face he never wished was anything else than it was; his greatest pride and his fiercest pain.)

He looks at his son and sees his own smile on his face. He does not remember ever being so free with his affections, and wonders if it was because there were six more of his brothers growing up with him but his Father decided to concentrate on him the most, while his Mother divided her attention to the others.

(There was never any equality in their home. Everyone's roles were assigned sooner or later, and some of his brothers leaned into them with a sense of duty ingrained in their very being, and some of them decided to trample all over the duty in a misguided attempt to make themselves stand out. He did not know who he admired, nor who he detested more.)

Tyelperinquar is magnificent when he works, and Curufin admires the way he imbues everything he makes with something that Curufin himself has known was lacking from his own work for a long time. Is he resentful? Perhaps. He thinks he resents Tyelperinquar's Mother not being there the most.

(All of those he has lost in one way or another are with him, or so they tell him. He sees them in the words pronounced and then corrected, in automated gestures aborted, in demonstrations of skill reminiscent of a time long ago and hands much bigger than they were when the skill was first demonstrated. He sees them in the mirror most often, and in the mirroring of his son's movements.)

They talk about immortality as if it were a Gift. Something bestowed out of affection, a guarantee of time immesurable, of time for everything and anything one might wish to do or learn or see. They talk of immortality as something to yearn for, to aspire to, to cherish.

(They do not talk about death, because it is not to be permanent. They forget that the rules of the gods they have are as fickle as they are, and that some things are not atoneable. They do not talk of death, nor its permanence, when it suites those who get to decide. They do not talk about how much it hurts, knowing that no good deed of a well beloved parent can compare to what the gods decided was unforgiveable. They do not talk about the irredemable Curufinwë, thinking there are two more bearing that name who might wash away the stain from it.)

Atarincë looks at Tyelperinquar move in the forge and sees only Curufinwë. I will lose you, too, he thinks. There will not be a Curufinwë that is worth the immortality they bestow upon us a gift, but we are all, by name, bound by its curse, he thinks.

Tyelpe raises his head and seeing his Father, smiles at him. The smile pierces Curufin's heart, for it is a smile as familiar to him as his own face is. It is his Father's smile, and it is devastating in its beauty.

"Well done, yonyo," he says in the forbidden tongue, the only thing he may say that may fly below notice, for he cannot say his son's given name anymore. Tyelpe blinks, then smiles even wider before going back to his craft.

Curufin looks at him for a moment, fëa screaming in pain, then turns away, alone in his grief.

[effervescentdragon]

Ashen-Cold by akirakurosawa

A Silvergifting fanfic written by me. I also made the banner. I love it, it’s gold.

"[...] As soon as Sauron set the One Ring upon his finger they were aware of him; and they knew him, and perceived that he would be master of them, and of all that they wrought."

OR: “What kind of a person am I,” Celebrimbor whispered to himself, falling to his knees in the forge, hammer falling out of his grasp and hitting the stone floor with a scream. The blood painted a grotesque contour on the floor.

“What kind of person am I, when this hurts more than my Father renouncing me?” Celebrimbor asked the silence, and the silence laughed at him, beautiful and cruel, just like him.

(He falls to his knees - like so many times before - and the world ends - and the world shatters.)

This is for @fingons-rad-harp without whom this would ABSOLUTELY NOT BE POSSIBLE! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I HOPE YOU LIKE IT

also this is the filthiest thing ive ever written so maybe mind the rating

[effervescentdragon]

Aki. Just answer all the damn question. You want to answer them all and I want go know all of your answers.

I love how you know me so well :D I’ll answer the ones I haven’t covered in the asks before, which is like. Most of them :D :D 

2. Favorite Chapter?

The Fall of Gondolin, definitely omfg, you know why, it’s THE chapter for me <3

3. Favorite Character?

ALL OF THEM. But like, canon - Glorfindel, Fingon, Maedhros, TYELPE MY DUMBASS SON <3 Curufin, Feanor, Galadriel, Elrond, Gil-Galad, Cirdan. Fanon - all my fanon of these plus Lalwen my queen, Findis, Elenwe.

5. Elves, Men, or Dwarves?

ALL OF THEM

6. Maiar or Balrogs?

Ugh. I’m indiffferent to Maiar unless it’s Annatar then I love and hate him, and maybe Eonwë, he’s kinda cool, I like heralds. Balrogs killed half my faves (the ones Sauron didn’t) so I don’t know. xD

7. Eagles or Dragons?

DRAGONS!! THE FUCKING EAGLES DIDN’T SAVE THORIN AND YES I KNOW THATS HOBBIT BUT FUCK.

8. OTP?

God. Russingon. (Also Cirdan x Lalwen).

9. What Age of Arda would you like to live in?

First Age, bring on the slaughter baby!

12.You can save one kingdom from destruction, which do you choose?

... fuck idk. Numenor I think. There’s something abt that place. 

13. Would you want The Silmarillion to be made into a film or tv series?

NEITHER. FUCK THEM ALL. IT LIVES IN MY HEAD ON A LOOP WITH MY PERFECT CHARACTERS AND ANYTHING MADE WILL JUST RUIN IT BCS IT WOULDN’T BE RIGHT.

15. Post your favorite Ted Nasmith painting.

Oh God. I’m a magpie, or yakno, a dragon. The fucking Nauglamir, definitely.

16. Silmarils or Rings?

I’d fucking burn them all.

17. Are you glad the Last Battle isn't in the published Silmarillion?

I rly wish we could’ve seen how the Professor (re)imagined Ragnarok tbh.

18. What is the hardest name or word for you to pronounce?

Any of the fucking ones that start with “C”. I hate that it’s “K” and not “S” bcs it fucks with all my phonetics, given the translation practices in Slavic languages and just. UGH.

19. You get to save one character from dying. What would they do instead?

I’m cheating :)

I save Tyelpe, my stupidest son and the one I love with the fire of a thousand suns. He spends a month getting drunk about how stupid he was in love, until Elrond and Gil-Galad come to drag him away from Eregion. They dump him with Cirdan, who is a Good Dad, and helps him find his passion again. His passion becomes taking Sauron down. He tricks Sauron, who thinks Tyelpe is still in love with him. Tyelpe wants to seduce him and then kill him. Tyelpe seduces him but doesn’t kill him, bcs HES FUCKING NOT LIKE THAT AND HE DIES AGAIN OMFG TYELPE YOU STUPID FRICK!!!

20. What do you think Tolkien's message is about possession and wanting to possess?

Ugh. This is a smart one, and my brain is stupid atm, and not serious at all. Okay. Yeah, it doesn’t work. You think you own sth, but earthly posessions are so fucking irrellevant. An excuse to do terrible things. An excuse to sequester yourself, to not think on anything but the past. It fucking doesn’t work, and I’m projecting here, but it’s a fucking illusion. Idk how to elaborate atm, but ask me again at some point. 

21. Would you have followed Fëanor from Valinor to Middle-earth?

Yes.

22. What is your opinion of Fëanor?

I wrote a whole post abt Feanaro here. Idk how much of it is still relevant, but at least some of it is I think. 

23. Do you have pity for Melkor?

Ugh. No. Sorry, I’m working on being a better person, but it’s a slow process tbh. 

25. You get to have a conversation with J.R.R. Tolkien. What would you want to talk about?

As I said before in the other ask, here is how it goes.

Jirt: Hello, my dear. What would you like to talk about?

Me, clenching my fists and gritting my teeth: I have but one question, Oh Great One.

Jirt: Ask, child. I am happy to answer.

Me, grabbing Jirt's collar whilst screaming and crying tears unnumerable: WHO THE FUCK IS EREINION'S DADDY JIRT?!?!?!?!?

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS MONSTROSITY, HERES A PIC OF MY BEDTIME READING FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS <3 (I only cried a little when I got it back)

[effervescentdragon]

Tyelpe !

First of all, I wouldnt date him bcs i cannot in my heart bring up enthusiasm for physics or the process of smithing, despite my love for shiny things. I think smiths are sexy, but like, in completely opposite way that tyelpe does. We'd be rly good friends bcs id want to help him stop being so stupidly fucked up and we'd bond over generational trauma. Also i cant somehow find him attractive bcs i understand him too well and hes too fucking nice and principled in a sometimes annoying way

Most importantly i wouldnt date him bcs annatar has never heard of anti-patriarchal solidarity and he would fucking burn me if i tried

[effervescentdragon]

this tyelpe angst/porn fest climbed from 9k to 12k real fast and it’s nowhere done. on the other hand, i have many unsolved feelings, a dash of a libido, and fuck-lot of homework for tomorrow, so i may even finish it

[effervescentdragon]

for the fandom asks... the silmarillion? 👀

thank you so much for asking my friend! here we go:

No. 1 of my blorbo fandom asks about the Silm :)

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) - in general, i have to go with Feanaro, my feral, insane, fucking stupid love who burns himself bcs its rly hard to burn down the whole world <3

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) - Tyelpe, the stupid frick. id cuddle him up in blankets to protect the stupid motherfucker from himself, but he'd probably run away from me and still do stupid shit. i'd try tho

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) - ANY FEMALE CHARACTER OUT THERE EXCEPT GALADRIEL PLEASE

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) - i feel like this is Erestor. i mean i know he's rly big in fandom, but like. dude appears like once. i just want more erestor content

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) - yeah this one is gonna have to be Mairon as Annatar every single time idgaf

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) - Melkor. Always.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) - does this mean i like him or i dont like him? id send. hmmm. hah. EOL THE MOTHERFUCKER