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lunnamars · 4 years

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Spiral

First of all: As I simply fell in love with this couple again recently, I decided that I could contribute a little despite my zero writing experience. So I hope you guys forgive me for any mistakes, especially because english is not my first language! ;)

Second of all: this whole story happens after Punk Hazard, but it is not related to any canon arc.

Disclaimer: obviously, I don't own anything on One Piece because if it was, Luffy and Nami would be together, just like Zoro and Tashigi. So, there it is.

You can also read on AO3 or FFNET

“I admire you, Roronoa.”

Zoro would be lying if he said he wasn't surprised. Tashigi, the extremely prideful Marine, saying such words to the pirate she supposedly hated so much. Ah, but he was very much surprised indeed. But Zoro was better than that. He would show none of his surprise neither would acknowledge the very strange feeling that bloomed in his chest.

Oh, no. He would do no such thing. Because not thinking about anything remotely related to her it's what he's been trying to do since she joined momentarily the Strawhats. Nope, another lie. Since Punk Hazard probably.

Or since Loguetown.

And he would be lying once again if he said he had succeeded.

But no matter, nobody has to know. Especially the copycat.

Then he just merely glanced at her. The swordswoman simply stared straight ahead, speaking as if alone, whispering words in the wind. The weather was very pleasant and the horizon even more beautiful than usual due to the approaching sunset, creating an amazing scenario. They both sat at the deck after a hard workout day (because he said they could push a bit more since the weather was nice), in a welcoming silence, watching the view and the crew playing with Luffy.

“Gotta admit that I never expected to hear those kind of words from you, Glasses.”

“I know. But it's the truth for a while.”

She continued to watch Nami shaking Luffy for jumping over her while the girl read. Zoro couldn't quite put his finger on how that relationship worked. But, once again, what the hell does he know about that kind of thing. Love is not exactly what he was looking for - at least, not until he achieves his life goal.

“You saved me in Punk Hazard and accepted to train me, but I never got the chance to properly thank you. So I thought it'd be nice by telling you some truth.”

“It's not like I asked that, stupid.”

“I just thought I should tell you, you jerk.”

“Haaa?? Who are you calling jerk??”

Tashigi just laughed and the sound made the strange feeling show its face again, almost as if the laugh he provoked made him proud. Their relationship has been following along those lines - always bickering (and Zoro would never voice how much fun it was to annoy her), her continuous insistence on competing with him any free time she had, both staying in comfortable silence or Tashigi laughing at him for some reason. Especially because of the boy's lack of sense of direction.

Sometimes, he'd be influenced by her laugh and would, eventually, laugh at himself too.

But now, Glasses had a sad look that the swordsman refused to accept in her face. A crestfallen expression definitely didn't match her and he decided that he didn't like to have been the possible cause of it.

And with that, Zoro felt a pang in his heart. He knew he had been rude, but it seems he couldn't act properly around her most of the time. Initially, he thought the reason for that was because of her similarity with Kuina and that it never ceased to bring back sad memories, so he simply could not face Tashigi. But nowadays? He had absolutely no idea of what it could be. So he’d take turns between having these stupid outbursts or staying silent. Something tells him that he was better with his mouth shut sometimes.

However, the moment she asked him to train her, he decided to keep his mouth shut for a few minutes out of astonishment, when, in fact, he should have said something or at least thought twice before answering. Zoro remembers how she bowed politely while making her request like he was someone super important and was on a whole nother level.

I mean, they were on different levels, but that doesn't mean she couldn't get better. Honestly, Zoro actually believed she could get better indeed because she had so much focus and was so persistent - characteristics that reminded him of a version of himself as a kid, always wanting to beat Kuina.

Right off the bat, he denied her request claiming that the had no patience or interest whatsoever. He stood up and prepared to leave, but turned around to glance quickly at her before fleeing inside the ship. And he swears his heart simply stopped at the sight of Tashigi's bleak expression. Instantly, Zoro knew what she was thinking.

Surely, Tashigi took his answer as a sign that she was too weak - and not because she was a woman, which is something he was able to get the hell out of her head with so much struggle - and that even he wouldn't be able to help her become stronger. Zoro waited for the moment when she would try to bite his head off, saying how stupid and unpleasant he was, but no sound reached the swordsman's ears.

The girl just nodded and left without a word. And he didn't feel quite well.

Zoro didn't see her until the time she left for her night shift. She still didn't seem at peace which made him start to get really worried. Had he really crossed the line? The green-haired man thought he was surely getting crazy by the day with her stay on the Sunny, because he hated the fact she was his first thought in the morning and the last before bed. And suddenly, he realized what bothered him at the moment she made her request.

He was Kuina in this situation and she was the small Zoro from years ago.

He was the one she wanted to reach, just as he wanted to reach his dear friend as a child.

Zoro sighed heavily and walked in her direction, sitting at her side and not receiving even a glance in his direction. He knew she was not angry per se - which, particularly, was something new and troublesome the fact he was able to read her little by little and that definitely didn't make him happy - because judging by her frown, he knew she was racking her brain to find a way to convince him to train her.

The swordsman gave a crooked smile and tried to hide the good feeling of being really admired by someone, especially by Glasses.

He acted like an idiot, he knows that. It wasn't needed that much of time in her company to know how much of pride she had to swallow to make a request like that. And deciphering that made him gaze almost affectionate at her, even if against his own will.

But only when she wasn't looking.

Finally, he decided to break the silence and warn her he'd be waiting for her at the deck at 5 a.m. And she didn't dare to be late because he does not take it easy on trainings.

And cross his heart, but he has never seen such a beautiful smile in his whole life. His heart stopped on its tracks again and that was starting to piss him off. If this continues to happen every time she does something different around him (because, like, this smile could not be directed at him, it's simply not possible), he would definitely treat it with Chopper.

And at 5 a.m., there was a Tashigi waiting for him with a sword in hand and the most determined expression he has seen on anyone's face recently.

She has kept waiting for him religiously for the past three months.

At first, their relationship was a bit complicated - Zoro was very rough around the edges and Tashigi was too proud. The trainings always ended in a heated discussion between them, followed by a whole afternoon without talking to each other until a wild Luffy (being typical Luffy) somehow would making them talk civilly again at night.

But the day the green-haired man simply snapped at her without thinking and screamed at her he was trying to teach her the same way he would teach any person, whether being a man or woman, but she couldn't put her stupid pride aside because he was not underestimating her and that he truly believed she would continue being an idiot, but a stronger idiot - was the moment where their relationship change slightly, but deeply.

He knew the whole crew was staring at both of them, but Zoro couldn't focus on anything else but the annoying woman in front of him. Why the hell couldn't she understand he was capable of being friendly and thoughtful?

Okay, fine, calling her idiot wouldn't help that much.

Tashigi merely stared at him for a couple of seconds without blinking and momentarily Zoro thought she would just brush aside everything he said and just focus on the word idiot. So, imagine his surprise when she simply bowed and apologized. When she straightened, she just unsheathed and held the sword firmly in both hands, telling him in a serious tone that she would no longer contest him, and that, please, do not give up on her.

And since that day, they never argued again during training. Out of training hours, however, they did because, you see, Tashigi was really stubborn and he was a person who got angry easily. But nothing major. Zoro started to feel that their relationship reminded him the one he has with Sanji, but somehow, he knew it was pretty different.

Zoro firmly believed it had nothing to with the fact that he thought she looks incredibly cute when pouting every time he was right about something. But at the same time, he started to consider this option, since he just wanted to beat the shit out of the ero-cook when he acted like that.

The same way he wanted to punch Sanji when he drooled over Tashigi for too long, especially when Nami or Robin didn’t give him the time of the day. The marine was too nice to shoo the pervert away and he knew it was mainly due to the fact she thought she owed the crew so much for saving her from certain execution.

Ah, there’s that, but it’s a story for another time. The swordsman couldn’t even remember the events without his stomach churning. The memory of her in chains and with a rope around her neck still haunted his dreams. And unfortunately, every time he ended up remembering, an uncontrollable rage would take over - exactly the same fury he felt at when he saw her so defenseless. Well, at least it helped him defeat the enemy faster than ever.

Ever since, fueled by her strong sense of justice, Tashigi believed she owed them her life and would do everything in her reach to repay them.

Only she had already paid, the sword nerd. But she didn’t realize that just the fact of being sent to execution for protecting them of an unfair capture made by the Marine corrupt pigs was already payment enough.

And gradually, the pair got used to each other’s presence and Zoro judged that a sort of friendship has been formed. Or a truce. But he doesn’t know and also didn’t want to know. If possible, he wanted to stay far away from her and forget that somehow she really seemed to belong to the Strawhats.

With him.

Probably it was because of that approximation that Tashigi was able to say she admired him. He also knew that she must have struggled a lot to swallow her pride once again, but she was too sincere to keep that information to herself. And kind! Zoro couldn’t understand where that much kindness came from honestly. After she slowly overcame her inherent revulsion that came with the word “pirate”, the swordsman saw a very different side of the marine.

Kind. Kind with the crew, kind to the people they met on their adventures, stupidly kind with Chopper, because let’s be honest, it’s too freaking hard to not like the reindeer.

Kind to him.

After so much time getting frustrating expressions and angry scowls from her, the kindness made him not knowing what to do. Angry Tashigi? Sure, Zoro knew how to deal with that. Tashigi being stubborn because they disagreed? No problem, piece of cake. Tashigi babbling about different swords they find when visiting some new island? Completely cool, he even liked to hear what she had to say.

But Tashigi being nice to him? What now, how to go from there? Does he try to be kind too? Does he stop with the obvious attitude of dancing around each other, always far away but so close? Or does he just realize that her eyes are so pretty in the sunset, even with the glasses and her lips seemed so soft on her pale skin-

“Nee, Roronoa.”

Perfect timing to drag him out of the spiral of thoughts he was getting into. A very dangerous spiral that, if acknowledged, there would be no turning back.

“Hm?”

“You want to become the greatest swordsman in the world because of that friend of yours that looks like me, right?”

Her voice turned so soft and that took him out of the dangerous spiral he was almost setting one foot in and led him to Kuina.

And then back to Tashigi. They were not the same, he knew. The physical resemblance eventually faded over the years, even though Zoro was still astonished of how could it be possible for a stranger to look like so much like his late friend. What kind of cruel joke the fate was playing?

But then again, they were not the same. Not emotionally. Kuina really struggled with her swordsman identity because she was a woman. Tashigi was proud of being a swordsman and a woman, despite her thinking that everyone would always look down on her.

Zoro made a mental note to ask her about this trauma. Where it came from, why she can’t get over it, who did this to her. And if it was someone, he’d like very much to know if he was alive so he could beat this person to a pulp.

But with that, he has just set a foot in the spiral. And oh boy, how scared he was. If not for the years of mastering his composure, he’d have jumped out of spite when he realized she had turned around to stare at him, probably waiting for an answer.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to intrude on your personal affairs.”

Tashigi gave an apologetic nod and turned the attention to the gentle waves in the sea. Zoro continued to stare at her and noticed how extremely welcoming that scene was. For unknown reasons, the swordsman felt at peace, the same way he felt when meditating.

“Yeah, that’s right. I promised her before she died. That’s because of her that I carry Wado Ichimonji too.”

The marine turned toward him so quickly as if she had sensed some danger and her eyes widened. She probably didn’t expect him to answer. Zoro is aware that he’s a closed person and the biggest example of that is the fact that no one on the crew knows his true story.

“This is… very noble of you, Roronoa. I’m completely sure you will make it. And I think your friend believed in you too.”

And there it was again - the most beautiful smile he has ever seen was, once again, directed at him. That made him feel somewhat… special. And he realized he wanted to be someone special to her. He wanted that smile to be his and no one else’s. Did she smile like that to another man? Was this just an ordinary smile she offered to any kind person like her?

Did she think about him when they are not together?

So, without looking back, Zoro put both feet inside the spiral and went down. He was not good with words, but a little better with actions and she was so close so close and she reached her hand to rest on top of his, squeezing lightly to assure the words that just fell out of her mouth and now the smile faded slightly and she was looking at him with so so bright eyes and Brook was playing a soft and slow song somewhere on top of the Sunny-

That was a lot going on for him, so he decided that screw it and hugged her. But it wasn’t a light hug, it was strong like he really needed that. It was a hug that screamed thank you thank you thank you. He didn’t even know what the hell he was thanking for because all of the Strawhats already believed in him and his dream. He didn’t need the faith of no else. Is it the fact of the resemblance again and that made him think it was Kuina’s ghost uttering those words?

No. It wasn’t. While holding her, he was sure that Tashigi’s belief mattered because she was just and true. And that meant it was a faith completely free of second thoughts or hidden meanings. It was real. It was sincere. Despite their differences - the whole issue of pirates and marines - she believed he was worthy of the title he would eventually achieve.

He realized that deep down she didn’t admire him for what he would be in the future. She admired him because he is also an example of perseverance. And something tells him that even if he did not become the greatest swordsman in the world, she would still want to reach him. And surpass him someday.

Zoro noted that he wouldn’t mind if it was her.

She was deserving of the title too.

Then he continued to hold her with his arms firmly on her back, being careful not to hurt her and completely enveloped her, pressing her against his chest so she could stay closer closer closer.

Has anyone already hugged her like this? Has any man gotten so close to her to the point of being able to feel the heat emanating from her? Zoro thinks so. Because it was not possible for a woman this honest to not have found a man as just as her. But reluctantly, he was surprised when he thought he didn't want her to find anyone.

Meeting someone means she would have to leave and he didn’t want her to go away, especially in another man’s arms. He got used to her presence during practice and even during the meditation. This was nice. It didn’t have to change.

So engrossed in his own reflection that he almost missed the moment when Tashigi returned the hug with the same firmness. She made space to better accommodate her head on his shoulder and his heart just flipped and oh my God, he's sure she heard that because it was going to come out of his chest anytime.

And all his sanity went out the window the moment she turned her face to rest in the crook of his neck and he felt her breath. Suddenly a shock ran through Zoro's spine and breathing became very difficult. The shock gave way to a warm feeling and the swordsman needed to do something. Either shove her away or bring her closer.

Both options were equally dangerous.

“Roronoa.”

“Zoro.”

“Ahn?”

“You can call me Zoro.”

She took a deep breath again and his brain was beginning to form incoherent ideas. He needed to do something.

“Zoro.”

That was enough for him to give up on any insecurity. Zoro. She spoke his name in such a soft way and that awakened something inside him that he never dared to analyze. He needed to do something.

Zoro knew what he wanted to do.

“Tashigi.”

Reluctantly, he pushed her way enough to look into her eyes because he needed to know if what he was about to do was welcomed, if it was right, if she'd hate him for the rest of his life. He didn't know if they were already this close or if he had leaned in unconsciously, but they were so close to the point that their noses were almost touching.

She didn't stop staring at him at any moment, but he couldn't decide if he kept looking at her eyes or her lips. Zoro didn't know if he should blame the weather or the slow and peaceful song that came out of Brook's violin or the soft sound of the waves crashing in the ocean or if it was simply her breath so close, but he decided to throw caution to the wind.

Zoro gave Tashigi enough time to move away if she wished so.

She didn't.

Then Zoro closed the distance and kissed her. The world stopped spinning. The noise of the waves faded away, Brook's music was just a distant noise, the crew's noise seemed to be muffled, the birds flying close to the ship made no sound, the wind itself seemed to have gone silent, leaving only their breath and the noise of his own heart beating so loud that now he was sure she could hear it.

But he wanted more. Way more. Just brushing his lips over hers was not enough. Zoro needed her closer closer closer until there was nothing separating their bodies and their breath was one. Hesitantly, he licked her lip as if he was asking permission and in the blink of an eye, Tashigi gave her consent.

Right at that moment, there was nothing or anyone in the world that would stop him from kissing her like there was no tomorrow. At first, he tried to be as calm as possible, but after Tashigi bit his bottom lip, his world came crashing down. Zoro didn't have enough self-control and what he wanted most was to just kiss her senseless. Even though he was a guy with zero experience in this area, his instincts normally worked perfectly.

And it seemed right.

Even if this kiss wasn't the most correct one, he didn't care anymore. It seemed right and Tashigi made him believe it was right judging by her almost inaudible moan and the slight tug on the thin hair at the nape of his neck.

Zoro no longer had any coherent thoughts at all, and his body was completely on fire because the moan made him draw her closer (he didn't know how it was still possible), made one hand get lost in her hair and the other in her waist.

But especially made him want to move, made him conjure images in his mind of Tashigi hugging him with nothing more than a sheet covering the two of them. Tashigi underneath him, panting, moving along with him. Tashigi speaking his name over and over again-

However, all creatures need to breathe and he wouldn’t be an exception. He didn’t know how long the kiss lasted, but it seemed a pleasant eternity. And when he opened his eyes, the sight of a Tashigi with a messy hair, with swollen lips, blushing fiercely and panting like him provoked a somewhat uncontrollable pleasure for being the responsible for the state the Marine was in.

Of course, he wouldn’t voice that with the intent of making fun of her because he knew he was in the same state. It would be the pot calling the kettle black.

They kept staring at each other for several seconds, immersed in that little feeling of bliss where nothing mattered - not even Usopp, Chopper and Brook spying on them through the opening in the railing. Zoro knew he would have to endure Sanji’s jokes, Nami’s mocking smile, Franky’s “manly” tears… Luffy would be probably the only one that wouldn’t bug him about it.

I mean, that’s what he hoped anyway because since the boy decided that Nami was the person he wanted to be with, the rubber man definitely didn't think twice about making up for the lost time. Zoro has lost count of how many times he has caught them making out in several places in the Thousand Sunny. At first, Zoro wanted to punch the couple for being publicly indecent, but after this kiss, he could definitely understand.

Tashigi was the first to break the eye contact and once again, that downcast expression was present. What the hell was that now? What the hell did he do wrong? Didn’t she like it? Maybe she already had someone else she liked and couldn’t imagine kissing him?

“I really thought you couldn’t stand me. I mean, at best you put up with me because of the resemblance to your friend.”

“Is that why you are sad?”

Tashigi quickly turned her attention to him and Zoro decided, once and for all, that he liked when her focus was on completely on him. The same way when they train, where she would absorb all of his teachings without blinking. Even when they argued, the marine would always listen attentively before getting angry about something she didn’t agree with.

“Did you like your friend? I mean, like a girl?”

“Haa? Why are you asking me that?”

“Is that why you kissed me, Zoro?”

Then his eyes widened and he finally got it. He finally understood why she would glance away every time he would seem a little bit indifferent or when she would talk about something and he’d simply nod, not saying a word. Or why she would get so annoyed at the thought of him thinking of her as weak, even after joining the crew. Or even when he ran at full speed to save her from imminent death when she was captured.

Tashigi thought that she would always be a copy of Kuina to him.

And that at the same time, she wasn’t Kuina enough for him to consider her a friend at least. Let alone fall in love with her.

The thing was that Tashigi honestly didn’t know that Zoro wasn’t being indifferent or didn’t want to talk to her, he just didn’t know how to have a conversation with her without being a complete buffoon. She didn’t know he didn’t think of her as a weakling, but as an formidable opponent.

She didn't know he ran like a maniac to save her not because he "couldn't lose her again" - which particularly stung a little the moment the words left her mouth because he got the hidden message that he couldn't see someone that looks so much like Kuina die again and in front of him - but because he had never been so terrified at the thought of Tashigi no longer being in the world to torment him.

She didn’t know he no longer found her a copycat and that slowly they became companions despite their differences.

She didn’t know that only now he realized he was in love with her indeed.

“It’s okay. I get it. It was a mistake, right? It’s fine.”

Tashigi gave a small strained smile that if she had crossed him with a spear it wouldn't hurt so much. She stood up and got ready to leave, but the swordsman was quicker and gripped her arm.

Because he realized she didn’t know any of that because he never told her.

“It wasn’t a mistake. I don’t see you as Kuina anymore because, in the end, you both are very different. And I… I don’t want you to leave.”

“L-leave? I-I never said I was leaving.”

“I know. But that day is likely to come and I don’t want you to go away with some stupid and noble marine.”

“S-s-some stupid and noble m-marine??”

“Yeah. I want you to… stay here. With us… with me.”

Zoro knew this moment was crucial. He gambled everything he had with no guarantees. And he definitely isn’t a careless man or the kind of person to not think before doing something, but he doesn’t know what is wrong with this woman that makes him take risky decisions. The one who planted the idea of a not so lonely future, the idea of having someone to come back to, someone to be by his side when he finally achieve his dream.

Someone to share. Above all else, someone that understands him.

And understanding was what she did. Tashigi got the meaning behind Zoro’s few words. Of the promise he was making for the future and his sincere desire for her. I mean, she could only have understood because the smile that was on her face again screamed happiness to him.

“Unfortunately, no marine can compete with you, Zoro. Especially if we are talking about a bad sense of direction.”

“Tch!”

Tashigi laughed at his scowl but stopped when Zoro pulled her straight to his lap. He had never seen her so red in his whole life. The girl was redder than Luffy’s cardigan! That made the swordsman smirk and whisper hoarsely in her ear:

“I don’t think you’ll keep laughing when I really show you why no man will ever compete with me, captain Glasses.

#zorotash #zoro x tashigi #tashigi #one piece #roronoa zoro #opfanfic #fanfiction

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