#u can see jun's heart fluttering here

[onlyswan]

summary: in which you drive jungkook mad but you make his heart beat.

idol!jungkook x f!reader, est. relationship / fluff, suggestive, a pinch of angst / word count: 5k

content/warnings: tried sumn different so this is mainly from jungkook’s pov :D !! drummer!oc ur so cool & i’m stealing u from ur bf 🏃— mention of a 10 yr age gap between jk & a guy who likes oc (he’s hella pissed off) ; mentions of (car) s^x ; allusion to a bl^wj^b ; jk just got home from tour & oc is tipsy, needy, & dramatic as hell T_T ; oc /briefly/ touches jk while he’s driving & he /nearly/ loses his shit & crashes the car (he doesn’t) (i’m kidding) + to the anon who wanted to jk’s cheek scar to get a kissy here u go 🥺

> in which masterlist!

note: oc is so shot glass of tears coded especially in this… i’m glad i’m posting this after golden came out just so i could say it 🥰 this takes place after this drabble sooo the end of oct 2018 <3 if u’ve read the prev drabble too, this was when jk said those exact words in the past 🥺 wrote this in the middle of hell week so i was half out of my mind :'] as always feedback & reblogs rrr always appreciated !! 🥺

—

jungkook loves the sound of rain— the gentle knocks on every surface of the earth has always been a lullaby even during daylight.

tonight is a different story, however. it is defeaning, terrifying even. he can barely see what is infront of him, spare the occasional headlights blazing across the slippery roads. his umbrella is being stolen away by the harsh gusts of wind and the mud stains on his sneakers are well-hidden by the plain black.

and yes, he is tired; and yes, this is hard, but that is the end of it.

you’re exactly where you told him you’d wait, far behind the edge of the roof where the rainwater falls from and splashes on the ground. you stand out in his blue oversized shirt, one that he purposely left behind in your closet so he could have something else to wear when he sleeps over.

you’re too busy typing on your phone to see him crossing the parking lot; he feels his very own vibrate in the pocket of his sweatpants. however, his giddy smile fades when a man exits through the entrance door and approaches you with a red umbrella. his strides become slightly hurried then, as he watches you politely decline it with that heart-fluttering smile of yours everybody adores.

“oh no, really, i’m fine. you might need it later! my boyfriend is already coming to pick me up anyway.”

jungkook acts cool. he tucks his hand in the pocket of his sweatpants, tries to make himself appear bigger because he realizes that he would be inches shorter than the man if not for the platforms of his shoes.

“____, baby!”

upon hearing your name coming from the lips of your lover, your face lights up even brighter.

“jungkook!”

you greet him with an embrace, jumping into his arms before he can properly set down his umbrella on the ground.

“yah, yah-yah! be careful!” he chuckles as he wraps his arms around your waist to catch you, peering down to check how high your boots are for you to be running and jumping around freely.

“hey, i’m going back inside- there’s more customers coming in. make it home safe, alright?”

the stranger tries to catch your attention, and jungkook’s protectiveness swiftly kicks in when he lays a hand on you and slides it down to your lower back. your boyfriend turns you away from the unprompted touch by pulling your body closer to his side, and he is unable to control how his eyebrows knit together in annoyance.

he wasn’t planning on giving much thought to the presence of a man around you. he knows better than that. but he has never heard about this one, which raises the question of who the fuck is he to freely touch you like that?

“oh- alright! thank you, jun!”

“you better take care of ____, man. it’s dangerous around here during this time.”

he receives a rather heavy and condescending pat on the shoulder, and so, with his annoyance bubbling worse, he wears a passive aggressive smile on his face.

“yeah, of course i am,”

jun’s nostrils flare as he witnesses you sneakily slide your hands underneath jungkook’s hoodie in search of warmth.

“i’m here now, so there’s no need to worry about my girlfriend anymore.”

he nods, then forces himself to smile. “that’s good, then.”

“yeah, thanks. we’re leaving.”

“oh, okay. have a nice night!”

“you too,”

he turns on his heel and returns inside the busy establishment— but not before jungkook made sure that he saw the bruises on his knuckles that he got from his boxing sessions.

his jaw clenches as he glares at the door.

is he being petty? sure, to hell with that. he doesn’t care. he’s always been one to trust his gut, and he has a bad feeling.

he is met by a love-drunk smile when his undivided attention is at last given to you, in the form of fond eyes and affectionate strokes of your hair.

“who was that?”

“eh, new bartender,” you shrug with disinterest. “hm, i think he’s 31…? he’s nice but he keeps talking about wrestling.”

he raises an eyebrow at the mention of his age, while your lips form a sad pout.

what the hell? he thought he would be 25 at most.

“the tv has been in the same channel for the past two weeks because of him. it’s all i’ve been seeing! i don’t like it-” you whine in distress, quite frankly, a little traumatized.

an endeared smile is coaxed out of him at your adorableness, how your speech is a little slurred and how you’re looking at him like you’re begging him to do something about it.

“makes me nervous,”

his dominant hand closes into a fist.

if he only he had known. should’ve fucking punched the guy, give him a taste of what he seems to be a huge fan of.

“let’s watch something calming when we get home, how about that?”

you nod your head, eyes that twinkle with eagerness fluttering shut when he leans in for a much awaited kiss. how sweet, he feels a little more alive than before. he can smell it, even taste it— the peach margarita you started sipping on before the band’s first set. concocted by jun, he presumes. he pulls away with a small smile, licking his lips for the traces of you that clung to him.

out of the blue, you burst into a fit of giggles, weak knees buckling as your weight crashes on him.

“i missed you!”

“babe, are you seriously drunk?” he chuckles, holding you with a secure grip around your torso.

“maaaybe tipsy…? i was pretending not to be.” you stand on your tip-toes to nuzzle your face against his neck, mumbling sheepishly. “only trust you.”

—

“i should’ve accepted the umbrella.” you grunt childishly, body going limp on jungkook’s back, except for the arm holding up the umbrella that shields the both of you from the pouring rain.

“yah!” he scolds you, clearly not pleased with the words that just came from your mouth. “what does that mean?”

“i’m embarrassed! they’re probably feeling bad for you.”

the last sentence comes out as a whisper, pertaining to the side glances you’ve been attracting from strangers as you make your way to your boyfriend’s car.

unfortunately, he had to park somewhere far because the restobar’s parking lot was already full.

you jokingly complained about staining your white boots with dirt and mud, but you instantly regretted it when he bent down, signalling you to ride on his back without an ounce of hesitation.

“our shoulders always get wet when we share an umbrella,” he said. “if i carry you, wouldn’t it be better?”

“embarrassing? some would even say romantic!”

something peculiar happens then— when your lips ghost over his left cheek, planting an affectionate kiss there that lasts for seconds. you pull away with a smacking sound, giggly and bubbly, might be his favorite version of you.

“i love you,” you hum, grasping the umbrella upright before it could tip over.

he doesn’t know if you did it on purpose or not, kissing him precisely where his scar is, but his heart jumps in his chest when he feels it begin to throb.

as if the wound from his childhood has come alive. as if, once again, he is bleeding as he glares at his older brother, and he still wants to play games on the computer oblivious to the fact that it would leave a permanent scar, a brand new landmark on his body.

you mistake his silence for something else.

you frown, warm breath tickling his neck as you quietly ask. “are you still mad at me?”

he sighs, vision landing on the ground as his walking pace slows down. “no? i was wrong. i shouldn’t have questioned your decision in the first place… why would i be mad?”

you started playing the drums for your friend’s band two months ago, just as soon as he left for tour. you volunteered after witnessing how distraught they were when their drummer vanished without a trace. he learned that it used to be a hobby of yours from childhood until early teenage years, playing the drums, but it was robbed from you when your father took his instruments with him when he abandoned your home for another.

he was pleasantly surprised when he learned about it, recounted all the times your hands and fingers were drumming on any sort of surface and his head naturally bopped to the beat, but then again, you never brought it up.

isn’t ____ so cool? he would proudly say when he flaunts you to his friends, even the protocol team, who have never seen him so happy.

three times a week, from nine in the evening until midnight, your phone was propped up on an empty table infront of the stage, and him, on the other side of the globe, excitedly watched you from backstage while he was getting ready for their own show. some other times, he was in his hotel room, or the private jet. his patience has been tested by crappy wifi, nosy and noisy people, and his earphones that stopped working while you looked insanely attractive grooving to ‘why’d you only call me when you’re high?’ as you effortlessly played the drums. he showered you with compliments as you did for him. you’re working hard so he must do the same.

he arrived home from tour the other day, spent the rest of its hours sleeping. yesterday, he waited for you at school and then at work like a lost puppy, slept on your bed (if he’s being honest, the two of you didn’t do much sleeping) then woke up at 9am for work.

and he tried his best, he really did, to get out of the company early enough to catch you playing a song or two. after all, it was your last day at the job.

much as you enjoyed reconnecting with an old flame— loved the overflowing tips that came from those who were amazed by your talent (well, there were also those who were just trying to get into your pants), the moment that the old drummer got down on his knees begging to be taken back by his best friends, just like how you became a part of the band, you voluntarily stepped down.

jungkook didn’t agree with this decision. he didn’t understand why you’d sacrifice something that makes you happy for a person who fucked up and wasted what they had. you went back and forth over it on the phone until you cried, told him that it wasn’t easy for you, and he couldn’t hold you in his arms or kiss your face. he could only apologize, and it even felt insincere doing it through a screen.

maybe he’s only relieved that you no longer need to be around a man an entire decade older than he is, who is obviously interested in you and serves you alcohol drinks. no, that doesn’t sit right with him. he needs jun, or whatever the fuck his true name is, to stay very far away from his baby.

“i’m just sad that i never got to watch you perform in person.”

you rest your cheek on his shoulder, heavy eyelids slowly blinking as the headlights of a black van blindsides you.

what the fuck. too bright.

“me too…”

—

“i’m bored,” you release a dramatic sigh, stealing a glimpse of jungkook at the driver’s seat, just to see if you caught his attention like you intended.

his eyes are trained on the dashboard, however, focused on the navigation guide displayed on his phone. he isn’t very familiar with this part of the city. it took him more than an hour to arrive at the address you sent him, including the time he spent in the middle of traffic.

“forty-eight minutes, then we can do whatever you want.”

“whatever i want?”

he slows down the car, briefly turning his head to find you expectantly looking at him with wide, hopeful eyes.

“of course,” he laughs, taking one hand off the wheel to squish your cheeks together. “just tell me what it is, baby.”

he doesn’t catch the sad look that flashes across your face after you lose his touch.

“then i’ll tell you when i figure out what i want,” you say quietly.

“i thought you already had something in mind?”

“nope,” you answer with yet another sigh.

you choose to stare out the window in silence, body completely slumping into your seat in defeat.

jungkook’s senses are sharp, or he likes to believe so. “are you okay?”

“i’m okay,”

“you sure?”

“hmm,” you hum curtly, and then you close your eyes, so he decides not to press further despite wanting to.

he meets a red traffic light not long after that. and so, he hurriedly grabs the black fleece blanket in the backseat. he envelopes you in it, crossing the distance between you to softly press his lips onto yours for a goodnight kiss. he feels you respond, albeit lazily, and he smirks cockily when you lift yourself up to chase him for one more, please— desperately, to get your fill of goodnight kisses from the many nights that you missed it.

the time seems to tick excruciatingly slow now that you’re quiet. a minute is multiplied by a hundred. the steady rhythm of your breathing keeps him sane throughout dark avenues and encounters with reckless drivers of the midnight scene.

he missed you. he missed you so much, and he knows that you’re tired from university, and tutoring high school students in english, and playing the drums for more than two hours… but he selfishly wishes that you’re awake right now so he can make up for the two months that you were apart.

be careful of what you wish for, they said.

jungkook should know better by now.

“i can’t sleep,” he hears you whisper in a dulcet tone that indirectly tells him you’re in need of some love… but he isn’t given the chance to act upon that request because you’re already all over what it is that you need.

he swallows thickly, glancing down at your hand that has somehow found its way to his inner thigh— zeroing in on your red nails, can feel them faintly grazing his skin.

you’re so pretty. everywhere.

even when naked and bare.

no, especially. it’s all he can think about.

he can draw you from memory.

“____,” he utters your name through gritted teeth, heart beginning to race a thousand miles per second in his chest.

the effect of your teasing touch is instantaneous, slowly inching closer and closer to where his growing erection is. his eyes remain focused on the road, but he fears that he’ll start thinking with his dick soon if you carry on with this act a few seconds longer.

“shit, not now, baby- please- not while i’m driving.”

your bottom lip is caught between your teeth, poorly concealing a self-satisfied smirk, and you pretend not to hear a single word from his plea.

a minx, that’s what you are, always causing trouble and blurring lines in his eyes.

“____, i’m not joking around. don’t make me mad-”

his warning is cut short by-

“fuck… fuck,” he curses, filter flying out the window once he feels you tracing the outline of his hard-on, the feather-light touch of your fingers smoothly gliding across the fabric of his sweatpants, and he completely loses it when your soft palm caresses his cock, so gentle that it feels almost innocent.

okay, so he couldn’t feel it because you weren’t skin-to-skin, but he knows that your hands are soft, can feel his imagination running wilder because he has memorized the way they feel on most parts of his body.

you’re so incredibly nasty and evil for this— squeezing him lightly, taking advantage of how sensitive he’s gotten, making him tremble as pleasure shoots up his spine. his breath stutters in his lungs and he unconsciously pushes harder on the gas.

and although it means fighting every fiber of his being that painfully yearns for more, he seizes your wrist in an iron grip, placing your hand over the gearstick while his sits heavy on top of yours.

“____! behave! you’re going to get us killed!”

he watches you jut out your bottom lip through the rearview mirror, eyes hazy with lust staring down at where your hand used to be, and then his handsome face. he is evidently flushed, honey skin dusted with a rosy pink. all the way to the tips of his ears, down to his neck.

while he’s driving? really?

doesn’t this only happen in wet dreams?

you are not real.

“then pull over,” you plead. “please?”

he releases a shaky breath. you’re always so needy with alcohol in your system, drove him into total insanity while he couldn’t be here to give you what you wanted.

“no, you need to learn how to be patient… told you we can do whatever you want when we get home, right?”

wrong move.

the silence returns, and just when he thought that you went back to your journey to slumber, the sound of your sniffles fill the car.

jungkook’s heart breaks into a million pieces.

also, he wants to slam his head against the steering wheel.

you make it so fucking hard to resist you; you always get what you want. it becomes much harder when he is the subject of your desire and he loves being loved.

“haven’t i been patient enough…? i missed you so much.”

“and i missed you too!” he brings your intertwined hands to his lips, pressing them on your skin. “fuck, you have no idea how much… please, don’t cry.”

“then pull over,” you stubbornly insist, and he is so close to driving this car into a lamp post. “fuck me at the backseat.”

“can’t,” he mumbles, sounding almost pained, and he is. he wants you so bad, it hurts. “we’re going to have to do it without protection.”

“what do you mean?” you exclaim.

you rip your hand away from his, not wasting time in unlocking the glove compartment, and a sound of sheer disappointment escapes from your mouth as you collapse back on your seat.

“jungkook, i hate you!”

“well right now i hate myself too!” he cries out in frustration. “i didn’t have the time to buy more, okay?”

“and there’s not one in your wallet?”

“babe, are you serious?!”

“what?!”

somehow, his hands still expertly swivels the steering wheel as the car meets a curve.

but he feels dizzy. the ghost of your touch is still there, a promise of carnal pleasure unfulfilled.

“stop the car,” you say out of the blue, rather calmly, and that terrifies the shit out of him.

he swallows the lump in his throat, eyes switching between you and the road in panic. “huh?”

“i said stop the car, i’m stepping out.”

“babe, come on,” he moans, ruined and tormented. he reaches for your hand but you scoot further away from him, and he ignores the way his heart drops to his stomach as he kneads your exposed thigh instead. “please, don’t be like this. i just got home.”

“jungkook! if you don’t let me get off this car right now, i swear!”

the urgency embedded in your threatening voice leaves your boyfriend with no choice but to pull over to the side of the street as soon as he gets the chance.

he carries on to unbuckle his seatbelt.

“baby, stop being stu-”

he tries to reach for you, but he is rudely ignored as you hop off the car and slam the door shut on his face.

“…bborn…”

he blinks.

he inhales. he exhales.

and then he buries his face in his hands to scream… as quietly as possible.

“what the fuck was in that margarita?!”

—

jungkook steps out of the car worried sick about you. now wearing a black bucket hat, his head whips in different directions in search for the familiar shape of your body, your hair, your shirt that is his, anything.

his arm rests on top of the car door, the other on the roof, fingers drumming on it anxiously as he chews on his bottom lip.

there are mostly restaurants here, it seems. some are already closed, some are still lights on. not far away, he hears a karaoke place bursting with music and laughter. he looks up and he finds that the night sky remains barren of stars; there’s no guidance from the heavens that will lead him to you.

except for the sound of your sweet voice calling out his name.

he turns around, and he knows it’s going to sound extremely silly, but damn, you make his life feel like a movie— because you’re jogging towards him, and the universe begins moving in slow motion. perhaps it is to prevent him from falling on his knees in relief, because he genuinely thought that you already went home on your own like the stubborn brat that you are.

“____, where did you go?! you can’t just run off like that! seriously, that was not nice!”

“i forgot my wallet!” you squeal as you halt infront of him, slapping your forehead as a way to scold yourself. “i found a hotteok cart!”

his anger quickly dissipitates. he scans your face, mouth agape in bewilderment.

you, screaming at him to stop the car because there was a sighting of your favorite snack? makes sense.

he dishes out the wallet from his pocket. “wha- i thought you… you didn’t have money?”

you shake your head to answer his question.

“then how are you already eating?”

you take another bite from the hot hotteok you’re holding in a paper cup, and then you shrug.

“i was already eating when i realized it,” you point at yourself, a mischievous smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “so he let me run back here. does it look like this face would steal?”

“you’re impossible!” he bursts out laughing, the unique sound of his joy harmonizing with the mundane noises of the city.

he is thoroughly amused and in awe of your undeniable charm never failing to work its magic. if you just gave it a shot, you might be even better at him at his job.

you’re pliant as he captures your wrist, tugging you away with him so he can lock the car.

“i bought three, by the way.” you note as the two of you start walking, with you clinging to his side. “the last three then mister can go home.”

you put the hotteok near his mouth, and he pauses to take a big bite. “have you even had dinner?”

“just the four margaritas- they were yummy! or was it five?”

he clicks his tongue in disappointment, but he doesn’t get to say anything more about it because you’ve reached the hotteok cart, and he’s already handing the vendor the money.

“thank you!” he bows his head politely as he accepts the remaining two you mentioned earlier, handing them over to you.

“no, this is yours.” you speak with tenderness, giving back one of the cups to him. “then we’ll split the third one. it’s really good!”

the vendor secretly watches the interaction with a fond smile as he packs up to finally, finally end his long day working at the busy streets of seoul.

—

you’re sat together on the hood of jungkook’s car as you share a midnight snack. with caring hands, you rip the hotteok apart in perfect halves, offering the other to your lover. he accepts it in between his teeth.

“do you want drums as your christmas gift?”

“love,” you search for the words to say as you chew the food in your mouth. “i can barely fit in my apartment. where am i going to put a drum set…? not to mention that i can’t even cry without my neighbor hearing it.”

his shoulders drop in dejection, and you rub your boyfriend’s back in an attempt to comfort him.

“you must really want to see me play, don’t you?”

“i’m dying to,” he says in pure jungkook fashion, tone dramatic and thick with an accent that is entirely his. “i can’t believe there were regulars who saw you every night, while i, your boyfriend, didn’t even see you once…! even that fucking bartender… this- this can’t be right! do you think this makes sense? no, right?”

“aw, my baby,” you coo at him, jutting out your bottom lip as you tenderly cup his face.

“i don’t trust him, by the way,” he scoffs. “as much as possible, stay away from him when you visit, alright…? if i see him touching you one more time, i don’t know what i’ll end up doing to him.”

“i don’t like him either,” you giggle. “so that’s easy.”

he stares at your bloodshot eyes. damn it, you haven’t sobered up.

“____, i’m serious. he’s weird. i’m worried about you but i can’t always be here to protect you.”

you blink at him innocently. “i am too! serious!”

“you promise me?”

“i promise!”

he nods, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he gets lost in the sea of his own thoughts. “i should talk to your friends about this, too. is that okay?”

“if that will ease your mind,” you half-smile, heart fluttering in your chest because you feel so cherished.

comfortable silence follows suit.

the hotteok is still soft and warm and sweet. if your love had to be delivered to his doorstep, it would in the form of your favorite food.

he sighs to gain more of your sympathy, basking in the attention he’s receiving from you. he missed this. he missed you. he sounds like a broken record, but it’s true.

“come ooon, don’t be sad! i’ll make it up to you! but it’s a surprise!”

“surprise?” he eyes you with suspicion. “what surprise?”

“just trust me, alright?”

you poke his cheek where his dimples are, and you witness them pop out as he copies your contagious smile.

“can i make a guess?”

“nope!”

you fit the remaining piece of your hotteok in your mouth, jumping off the hood of the car. you stand before him as you wipe your hands clean with a small paper napkin.

“don’t you dare. if you guess it right then my plans will be ruined!”

—

you’re back on the passenger seat to travel the remaining twenty-seven minutes to your apartment.

jungkook melts into the tenderness of your touch as he drives. you’re tracing the toned muscles of his arms; stroking his hair, his face, and the smell of the sticky brown sugar from the hotteok still lingers on your skin.

“when are you going to start getting tattoos?” you wonder out loud as he intertwines your fingers together on top of his thigh. “i think you’d look so pretty.”

“i’m planning on it.”

his heart skips a beat at the thought of you remembering that he wants his skin artfully inked as you absentmindedly distracted yourself with it.

he licks his lips, smiling as he looks over at you. “you really think so? pretty?”

“hm, hot, too,” you stick your tongue out playfully, and he snorts out a laugh. “but as long as you’re happy, then nothing else matters.”

“of course- wait, yah! you still need to eat dinner.” he reminds you once he recognizes the path you’re taking.

a grocery store is not more than a kilometer away, if his memory serves him right.

“what do you want? i don’t mind cooking.”

“for you to fuck me, that’s what i want. you won’t mind that, too?”

oh my fucking god.

he wishes you were passed out drunk instead so he wouldn’t have to suffer this battle between self-control and his insatiable appetite for you.

“baby, aren’t you still sore from this morning?”

“a little,” he notices you squeezing your thighs together from his peripheral, and along with it, the bruises on your knees from when you worshipped his body last night. “but i want you.”

your giggles in reaction to him frustratedly running his fingers through his hair seems to only fuel the dirty thoughts in his head. he uncomfortably shifts in his seat to adjust himself.

“can you just bring it up when we get near your house? you’re killing me over here!”

“but why? i’m having fun.” you bring your tangled hands over to your side, peppering the back of his hand with innocent kisses. “i love you. you’re so cute.”

“are you… are you seriously calling me cute after what you just asked me to fuck you?”

his disbelief is challenged by your amusement.

“why not? being one dimensional? boring. being different things all at once? sexy.”

jungkook doesn’t need to see you play the drums to know that you are the only one capable of making his heart beat like this. to feel it pounding, it turns out there’s another way besides performing, he can just be alone with you. a different type of addictive exhilaration. he isn’t at the top of the world; he free falls as it revolves around you.

you always know the right words to say, because right now, he is preening. he’s wearing a big smile, the kind that looks like he’s laughing, but he’s not— almost. the kind that reaches his eyes, shapes them into little crescent moons.

how did he get so lucky?

rehearsals in the morning be damned, he will be fucking you good all night.

you make a noise of confusion when the car swerves into the trees at the side of the road.

“what are we doing here?”

jungkook only spares you a glance. “get in the backseat, baby.”

—

taglist in the reblogs! send an ask/dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

—

[toruro]

— ✧ the letter

i hope one word, one letter, will laugh and cry with you (the letter / ateez)

pairing. xu minghao x reader

description. in which you’re jun's little sister and have been pining for a man so close yet so out of reach for ages. now, years later, when you see minghao all grown up, famous, and still making your heart flutter, you're not so sure what to do about your not-so-little crush.

genres. slowburn, fluff, angst, childhood f2l

tags. idol!au, alcohol consumption & underage drinking, lots of arguments, Lots of pent up emotions oops, miscommunication, sorta hot headed reader, minghao is minghao and that is a warning enough

fic playlist.

w/c. 26k

a/n. the smut has been moved to a separate post which can be found here! i had so so so much fun writing this! huge thanks to @gyuswhore bc em literally helped me through every step of the way & sat through me planning & switching around the events of the story a bajillion times, and thank u to @honeyhypen who read over this for me ^-^

ENVELOPE

To: Xu Minghao

“Why are you in my room?” Jun huffs, turning around to look up at you as you stand by his door. In front of him is a massive, yet unfinished LEGO replica of Hogwarts. You frown, glancing at his friend who lays on his bed with a phone up to his face.

He’s Jun’s new friend, and you’ve heard your brother talk about him but this is your first time really seeing Minghao in the flesh. Shaggy hair hangs loose over his dark eyes as he peeks over his phone and glances at Jun, as if to silently ask who you are.

“Dad says dinner is ready,” you tell him, feeling a little timid under the gaze of the new boy. He’s only two years older than you, but the only interaction you get with high schoolers is your brother, so you’re feeling shy. He’s a very nice looking boy, you think to yourself, but try hard not to stare as Minghao uncrosses his legs and sits up on your brother's bed.

Jun’s eyes soften when he notices you standing awkwardly, standing up and pointing at you as he says your name. “My sister—two years younger,” he explains.

“One point five, actually,” you correct him with a roll of your eyes, feeling more comfortable now that Jun is initiating something. Your brother laughs at you and ruffles your hair while Minghao stands up behind him.

“Ya-da, ya-da. You’re still two grades below, so it doesn’t really make a difference. Anyways, this is Minghao,” he says, pointing at his friend behind him who throws you a small smile and wave.

“I know,” you blurt out before you even have a chance to think, heat flushing to your face after you realize what you said and see Minghao give you a funny look. “I-I mean because Jun talks about you a lot,” you clarify, clearing your throat. “Y’know, he doesn’t have a lot of friends so when—”

Jun clamps a hand over your mouth and gently drags you out of the room as Minghao follows behind closely with silent laughter. “That’s enough from you. Watch it, or I’m never letting you talk to my friends again.”

“Friends? I think you mean friend,” you retort, looking back at Minghao who watches the two of you amusedly. “Are you sure you want to be friends with someone so mean to his sist—”

Jun flicks your forehead and you push his chest. “Shut up already! If you scare away all my friends, all I’ll have left is you, and you’ll just have to put up with me all day!”

“You’re right about that,” you say with a heavy sigh as you all make your way to the dinner table where your father has set out a meal for the three of you. Putting your hands up in defeat as you sit down at your spot at the middle end of the table, you glance at Minghao who takes a seat with Jun sitting between the two of you. “I guess I’ll back off for now.”

Jun scoffs. “You better.” The three of you laugh together.

Yiren rummages through your closet, and you frown deeply. “Hey! You better clean that up,” you warn, rolling off of your bed and onto the floor, lazily standing up.

“I’m helping you pick out a nice outfit! You said Minghao is coming ri—” You scramble to your feet to slap a hand over Yiren’s mouth, eyes wide.

“Shut up! My brother’s room is right there—he might hear you!”

Yiren rolls her eyes, nudging your hand off her mouth with a huff. “Oh my god, don’t tell me you haven’t told him yet.”

“What?” you narrow your eyes at her, grabbing one of your bras that she threw onto the ground and stuffing it back into your closet. “You thought I was going to tell Jun that I have a crush on his best friend?” you half whisper, half yell.

“Uh, why wouldn’t you? You’re seriously missing out on your chance to have him help you get with Minghao.”

You scoff, looking down at all the clothes strewn across the floor. “Have you met my brother? He would flip if I even mentioned being with a guy, let alone that guy being two years older and his friend.”

“You don’t know that,” Yiren retorts, throwing herself onto your bed leaving you to clean up the mess she made.

“Yes I do. This is how I can tell you don’t have any brothers …”

“Well if you never make a move on Minghao, how are you ever going to get him? You gotta start somewhere, and maybe your brother is the first nut you gotta crack to get there.”

“If you haven’t noticed, I haven’t exactly planned on making any moves,” you mumble, reaching down to pick up a cute pink jacket you haven’t seen in a while.

“Uh, why not?” Yiren piques, sitting upright on your mattress.

“Excuse me, have you looked at Minghao?” you groan, slumping against your wall with the jacket in your hands. “He’s so … cool, and popular, and handsome,” you gush, and Yiren makes a disgusted face.

“Uh, no, sorry I don’t fawn over your future husband, so I don’t really look at Minghao but—”

“And he’s going to be a senior! Why would a senior ever go for—” you look down and gesture at yourself, “—me.”

“You’re seriously downgrading yourself—you know you’re a catch.”

“Yeah, not for someone like him,” you snort, flopping down onto your bed next to her. “It’s whatever, it’s a stupid crush anyways.”

“Yeah,” Yiren says flatly. “You’ve only been crushing on him for like three years—hey! Don’t hit me!”

“Then stop saying this stuff,” you groan, throwing a pillow onto her head.

“Okay fine, I’ll stop. So are you going to wear that?” she asks, pointing at the jacket you left at the foot of your bed.

“Yeah, I think I will. It’s cute right?”

“Mhm … bet Minghao will totally like it and—”

“Yiren, shut up,” you giggle, pushing her again as you roll off the bed. “Okay, so the pink jacket and these jeans?” you ask, picking one pair off the ground and holding it up for her to see.

“Mm, no,” she says while shaking her head, standing up to join you as she looks at all of the clothes she threw across the floor. “Let’s see …” she hums to herself.

“Yiren,” you say with a laugh, “I think you’re putting more thought into this than me.”

“Well I can’t just let my best friend be single and lonely for the rest of her life! If all you do is sit around and listen to Radiohead, you’re going to end up being sixty-five and alone in some cottage in the woods.”

“Hey! That actually seems pretty peaceful,” you try to object, but Yiren narrows her eyes in your direction.

“Okay well,” she drawls out, putting her hands on your shoulders so you’re right in front of her, “Imagine being sixty-five and living in a cute cottage in the woods with Minghao. Sounds better, doesn’t it?” You can’t help the giddy grin that makes its way onto your face when Yiren says that, and she punches your shoulder lightly when she notices. “See, you do want that! So just listen to me, okay?”

“Okay, okay, fine! Just tell me which jeans to wear.”

She looks down, picking through the denim before pulling out a light blue one with little flowers embroidered on the pockets. “Look, this is cute. It’ll match with the jacket.”

You nod along, not questioning her because as far as you know, Yiren’s fashionable instinct stretches much further than yours and whatever she says about this must be true. As you change from your pajamas  into your new, curated outfit, Yiren sits back on the bed and grins widely.

“Looks perfect on you. Minghao will love it.”

“You think?” you pique, looking at her with bright, beaming eyes.

She winks at you and you jump up and down on the balls of your feet at the excitement. “I want at least 25% of whatever you get from your wedding gifts. You both will owe me big time.”

“I’ll believe it when it happens … Anyways, you ready to go? Let’s wait downstairs and get some pop while we wait for Minghao to come,” you suggest, Yiren agreeing with a nod as she bounces behind you. Jun, it seems, is still in his room waiting for his friend, so you stick your head through his door. “We’re going down to snack a little. Wanna come?”

Your brother shrugs, pushing himself off his swiveling chair to join you. “You know if we still have those cupcakes? The ones you made last week?”

“I think we have a few left. Why? You liked them?” you exclaim happily, turning around to face Jun as the three of you settle in the kitchen. You reach for a box you kept on the island, popping off the lid to show him.

Jun grins and pulls one out and you offer one to Yiren who stands beside you. “‘course I like them,” he says with his mouth stuffed with cake and cream.

Yiren, shooting a look of disgust his way, says, “Ew! Please don’t chew and talk, that’s gross.” Jun rolls his eyes at her as Yiren stuffs her own face with the cupcake, sighing as she digs in.

“Whatever,” Jun grumbles after swallowing it down. “They taste really good, you should make them more.”

Yiren nods, tapping your shoulder, “Agreed. Send me the recipe too,” voice muffled as she continues to munch down on the cupcake.

“Didn’t you just tell me not to eat with my mouth full?” Jun mutters, crossing his hands over his chest. You laugh at the banter and suddenly you hear the doorbell ring, ears perking up. “That’s probably Minghao—I’ll get the door.”

As your brother makes his way down to the foyer, you turn to look at Yiren. “I would give you the recipe but I don’t want to be the reason your house burns down. Seriously, remember the last time you tried baking and—”

“Oh my god, is the recipe what you’re thinking about right now? Minghao is just about to come—offer him a cupcake! Show him your amazing baking skills and show him what a good housewife you can be!”

You give your best friend a look of bewilderment. “What the hell Yiren,” you groan, slapping your hand on your face, trying to hold back your chuckles. “Okay, I’ll give it to him but only because I want him to be impressed. Not because I want to submit myself to misogyny for the sake of a man.”

“Okay fine but—look!” she exclaims in a hushed whisper. “He’s here!” You immediately straighten your back and smile when Jun walks back into the kitchen with Minghao. He’s wearing some loose jeans and a black hoodie, his hair longer than before.

He says your name when he sees you, throwing up a wave and a smile. Minghao then glances at Yiren with a blank stare, pursing his lips together. Yiren chuckles nervously and clicks her tongue while pointing at herself. “Yiren.”

“Ah. Hi Yiren,” he says politely.

“You guys want some pop?” Jun offers when he opens up the fridge. Yiren, Minghao, and you nod happily and respectively call out your choices.

“Sprite!”

“Cola!”

“Cola!”

Jun juts his lip out in a pout when he turns back to the three of you. “I wanted Cola too, but there’s only two left.” You’re about to furrow your brows and tell him that it’s okay, you don’t really want any, but Minghao speaks up before you.

“She can have the Cola, I don’t mind,” he says casually, grabbing one can from Jun and handing it to you with soft eyes. “Here.”

“Are you sure? I don’t really care for the difference between Sprite and Cola and—”

Minghao chuckles and shakes his head, and you think you might just pass out when your palm brushes against his knuckles when he eases the cold can into your hand. “Seriously, it’s fine,” he tells you. You glance at Jun and Yiren who are busy opening their own cans, turning your attention back to Minghao.

“Thank you … Uh, do you want a cupcake? I made some a while ago and we still have some left,” you offer, holding up the box to him.

“It’s the last one. Are you sure?”

“How the tables have turned,” you laugh, and Minghao cracks a bright smile at that and holy crap, if you weren’t so busy trying to keep your composure, you’d be freaking out over how handsome he looks when he smiles. “‘course you can have it. I’ve had plenty of them,” you admit sheepishly as he reaches for the cupcake and brings up to his mouth.

“Holy shit. I don’t blame you for eating a lot—if I had these in my house they’d be gone in like an hour.”

“Right!” Yiren agrees, and you can’t help but chew on your bottom lip when you smile from the praise.

“Guess this is just a sign for you to make more, huh,” Jun says, walking to stand next to you to lean on your shoulder.

“Uh-uh! You gotta reimburse me somehow,” you protest, looking up at your brother with a firm expression.

“Please make more, they’re really good. I’ll buy you boba if you make more,” Minghao chimes, and it’s safe to say you don’t expect it from the way you cough on your own saliva. Yiren laughs at your reaction, and Jun only looks at you weirdly when you nod in agreement.

“Oh, so you’ll make cupcakes when he asks but not for your dear older brother?”

You roll your eyes, saying, “He offered to buy me boba! You know I can’t turn that down.”

Jun huffs in faux irritation, digging his hand into his pocket to fish out his keys. “Ya-da, ya-da. Anyways, would anyone other than my super fake, mean, evil sister like to go to karaoke now?” he asks playfully. All it takes is one glare and pulling on his hair for a few seconds to have him shouting out apologies as the four of you make your way to the car garage.

The ride to the karaoke place is short with Jun in the front and Minghao sitting in the passenger seat next to him. You and Yiren pile into the back, and the three of you scroll through your phones to decide what songs to sing later while Jun drives.

“I get to sing Creep, right?” you ask excitedly, bouncing up and down in your seat.

“How’d I know you were going to bring up Radiohead,” Jun mutters, pressing his head back into the head rest when he stops at a red light, while Minghao turns in his seat to look back at you with wide eyes.

“You like Radiohead?” he asks with a small smile.

The corners of your lips are lifted and your face brightens when you nod vigorously. “Yeah I do!”

“I think ‘like’ would be an understatement. I’m like 99% sure Thom Yorke lives in her skin or something because what she has for Radiohead is a lot more than just ‘like,’” Yiren says.

“No way, I love Radiohead,” Minghao tells you. Holy shit. So Minghao is attractive and nice and smart and pretty much perfect at everything and he enjoys Radiohead? You might go insane.

“Really?” Your eyes are wide with your jaw hanging open, leaning forward in your seat.

You hear Jun groan from the driver’s seat, and both you and Minghao shoot him a dirty look. “I forgot both of you are obsessed with Radiohead. Seriously, could either of you get more emo?”

“If you weren’t driving right now, I’d strangle you,” Minghao says bluntly before looking back at you. “Anyways, what’s your favorite song?”

“Junnie, please, can you put on Creep now? You know I’ve been waiting forever,” you plead, holding your hand out to the microphone that’s in your brother’s hand. The room is dark and lit up with red and blue LEDs across the border, making the room glow purple.

“But I want to sing another round of Taylor Swift!” he protests, pointing at the big screen in front of you while clutching the microphone close to his chest. You scoff, poking his side. “You know I’m not ticklish, so that doesn’t work.”

“You’re not ticklish? How?” Yiren exclaims, looking at Jun with wide eyes.

You turn to squint at her. “He’s weird. I thought we already established this.”

“Hey!” Jun whines. “See this is why you won’t be getting to sing Creep tonight.”

“Jun!” you cry out, and you’re about to pull out a string of complaints and curses, but then Minghao is stepping in, pointing at you.

“Put on Creep. She’s been asking for a while and I want to sing it too,” he says. Jun is quiet for a moment before sighing and handing you the microphone which leads you to puffing up your chest and smiling proudly.

“Thanks,” you chirp gleefully, as Minghao holds his own microphone up to his lips.

When he smiles at you, it’s kind and sincere in such a way that it has your heart swelling under your pretty pink jacket. Minghao coolly points at Yiren who sits by the control tablet. “Creep. Hit it.”

The air inside your house is warm as you skip down the hall and down the stairs. When the bell rang the first time, you thought it was just some package but when you hear it ring twice, you think otherwise.

When you peek through the little peep-hole, you jump up and down on the balls of your feet, a mix of excitement and nerves pools at your stomach. You open the door and Minghao shuffles in front of you at the doorstep. You haven’t seen him in a few weeks, and his hair looks shorter. “Did you cut your hair?” you ask the seventeen year old as you move to the side so he can step in.

“Yeah, it was getting in my eyes too much,” he tells you with a nod, a small puff of vapor coming from his lips. It’s cold, and you hear him inhale a breath of relief when you close the door behind him. “Thought the door was never gonna open. I was freezing my ass off,” he says, unwinding the brown scarf from his neck.

“‘m sorry,” you reply sheepishly as he takes off his shoes, following you through the foyer. “Jun didn’t tell me you were coming so I was in my room. He’s still out with my dad, but he’ll be back soon.”

“That’s fine.” Minghao shrugs off his puffer jacket, placing it on the coat rack while you make your way to the kitchen.

“Do you want a drink? It’s cold outside, so I can make some hot chocolate. Jun got the nice kind from the cafe down the street.”

“That’d be great, thanks,” he says, sitting down at one of the stools in front of the kitchen island as you take out some milk and hot chocolate powder. It’s silent, and you chew your lip while thinking about how this is the first time in a really long time that you and Minghao have been alone together.

Nearing the end of his twelfth year in high school and just like the first time you met him, he’s as enticing as ever. Dancing competitions with Jun, left and right, smart and respectful with the teachers, popular among the students—you're lucky you get to talk to someone as cool as him, even if it is only on the account that you’re his best friend’s little sister.

“How’s high school?” he asks casually as you boil some milk over the stove.

“It’s alright … English is still hard as ever,” you admit, dropping the powder into the frothing milk.

Minghao chuckles softly when you turn around to face him, and a small smile makes its way onto your lips. “Yeah, it was never my strong suit either. You still friends with … what’s her name? Sorry, I’m not good with names—the girl who lost her voice at karaoke when she came with us?”

“Yiren?” you giggle softly, recalling the memory. “Yeah. Still friends, still as loud as ever,” you say with a sigh, mixing the milk as it turns light brown. “How are things with you? Jun’s been telling me the dance practices you guys have is pretty intense. He always looks like he could eat a horse when he comes home.”

“That’s good to hear, and yeah, it’s all going good. It is pretty tiring, but it’s a lot of fun,” Minghao replies, stretching his arms behind his back as you pour out the hot chocolate into two mugs, bringing it over. “Thanks,” he murmurs, grabbing from your hand sitting down at your regular spot, one extra chair seated between the two of you as always.

Arm’s length, you think for a moment, before shaking yourself of the thought. “I’m sure the practice is paying off though—seems like Jun is always talking about some new kinda competition or something.”

“Mhm,” Minghao hums, taking a sip of the hot cacao. “This is really good, thank you,” he says with a soft smile, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel some sort of giddiness erupt in your stomach. “I think … I think we can really take it somewhere—our dancing.”

It’s a sparing thought that Minghao and Jun’s dreams are far beyond yours, and you have a bit of a difficult time trying to understand what he means by somewhere and if that somewhere includes you or not.

“You’re going to Korea?” your eyebrows furrow as you glance between Jun and your parents.

“Nothing’s finalized yet—” your mother says, but when Jun’s eyes flicker between you and the ground, you already know that this is set in stone.

“Yes it is.” Your voice is small when the words come out. “You—” you take a deep breath, “—you’re going.”

“Not now, of course,” your dad says, patting your back as he stands up, your mother following suit. “Talk for a few minutes, yeah?” he says as both your parents walk out. When your whole family walked into your room ten minutes earlier to tell you they had big news, you weren’t sure what you were expecting, but it certainly was not this.

And now you’re sitting with your brother on one end of your bed while you’re curled up against your pillows on the other, unable to meet his gaze.

“When are you going?” you ask quietly, finally breaking the silence.

“August.”

“That’s in a month and a half,” your shoulders deflate as you say it. “How long?”

“I don’t know. I’m sorry.” You bury your face in your hands in hopes that it’ll muffle your cries. It doesn’t.

Jun scoots over to you quickly when he sees your shoulders shake, one arm going around your back to pull you close to his body, but you still can’t bring yourself to look at him. “How are you going to do it?” you blubber as your brother pats your back. “You can’t just go to a whole different country alone and—”

“I won’t be alone. Minghao is coming with me,” Jun tells you quickly. Now that brings your head up. You don’t care that your nose is snotty and that your hair is all over the place and that your face burns, you just need to see the look on Jun’s face to see that he isn’t messing with you.

The way his own eyes are glossy gives you your answer. “Y-you both got accepted into tha-that company?”

Jun nods. “We applied together.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were applying? I-I would’ve understood. You could have given me more time to process this and—” You look down at your hands, “Fuck,” you mutter to yourself, not finding the words in your throat.

“We didn’t even know if we would get accepted. Me and Minghao promised each other that we’d only follow through with it if both of us got in and we didn’t think that there’d be a high chance of that because it’s so competitive … I only told Mom and Dad because until we got the acceptances, I really didn’t think it was going to actually happen.” You gulp at his words, trying to let it all sink in.

“I think … I think I just need to go on a walk. Take a breather, y’know,” you mutter under your breath as you stand up. Just as you're about to walk away, you stop yourself, looking back at Jun who stares down at his hands. You don’t think twice before wrapping your arms around his shoulders and hugging him tightly. “I’m really proud of you,” you say quietly before rushing out of your room and down the stairs.

You shove your feet into some slippers in the foyer, rushing out onto the street soon after. You aren’t sure what you’re doing or where you’re headed, but you continue to trudge along the sidewalk until you’re walking down the main road.

The summer air is hot and stuffy, and you wonder if you feel so suffocated because of the sun’s onslaught or because of thoughts that run through your head. It’s surrounding you, breathing it in, it fills your lungs, courses through your veins, rushes to your brain—you don’t know what it is, but it’s uncomfortable and has you dizzy and your vision foggy.

You lean against a thick lamppost next to you, hands on your knees as you knit your eyebrows together as sweat beads down your forehead. What the fuck, you think as you breathe in through your nose.

You hear your own name bounce around in your head, and the sound only grows louder and louder until you’re muttering under your breath, telling yourself to shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. And there are tears in your eyes but you furiously wipe them away because while you don’t mind crying, you do mind crying if you don’t know why.

And fuck, there’s that voice again, your name echoing over and over again until it’s growing lowder and ringing in your ears. You think you might start crying again until the voice sounds familiar and you’re whipping your head up and standing straight when you see a car pull up to the curb next to you.

“Fuck my life,” you mumble to yourself when you see Minghao in the driver’s seat of the car. He rolls down the window and god, he looks so pretty with his hair back and upper body fit into a loose yellow shirt.

“Hey, what are you doing?” he asks you, brows pinched into a concerned expression as he looks at you, face flushed and sheen from sweat.

“I—” You’re about to smile at him and let the giddiness of having your crush talk to you take over, but then the words get caught in your throat when you remember the whole reason you’re out here. “—I’m just going on a walk.”

“In this heat?” He raises a brow at you. “Where to? Let me give you a ride. You don’t look too well.”

“Nowhere really,” you say with a shrug. “Actually, I might just head back home,” you rush out, turning on your heel to walk in the other direction so Minghao can’t pry any further, but he stops you.

“Wait, wait, wait,” he calls out, and you don’t have the willpower to ignore him. “Let me drive you home then. Seriously, you don’t look well—like you look like you’re ‘bout to pass out and shit—so just get in the car, please?” He says the last part with some sort of beggary etched onto his face and you just can’t deny him. Not now, not ever.

Pulling the door open, your limbs feel heavy as you climb into the car, air much cooler and fresher than outside. Leaning your head against the headrest, you let your eyes flutter shut as Minghao starts the car.

“Are you seriously okay? You look—”

“Sick, I know. I look sick,” your grumble, eyes still shut. You wonder if you should tell him Jun just told you everything.

“I’m sorry,” and you can tell from the way his voice doesn’t waver that he means it.

“Jun told me about Korea.”

“Oh.” Yeah, very big oh. “Just now?” You nod. “Is that why you were out here?” You nod again, finally opening your eyes.

“Hey, this isn’t the way to my house.”

Minghao keeps his eyes on the road. “C’mon, let’s get some pop,” he says, ignoring your statement and driving into the parking lot of a convenience store. He unbuckles his seatbelt and hops out his end, not saying a word, and you figure that you have no other choice but to follow.

Any other situation and you’d be grinning about spending some time alone with Minghao, but after hearing Jun tell you that he’s going to be traveling hundreds of miles and flying over borders within the next two months has your stomach churning in a way you don’t like.

You don’t know if you want to spend all the hours of the day with Jun and Minghao, or if you want to crawl up in your bed and pretend they don’t exist so it’ll hurt less when they’re gone. You feel stupid for thinking like this—you know it’s going to hurt either way.

You’re lost in your own thoughts as you walk into the store after Minghao, only snapped back into the present when he says something to you. “Hey, those are your jeans that you wore when we first did karaoke right?’

You blink once and then twice before looking down at your pants. They were those same jeans. “Yeah, how’d you know?” you ask him incredulously, and Minghao chuckles as he reaches into the cooler and pulls out a pink popsicle.

“I remember the flowers and how they matched your pink jacket. It was cute,” he says casually, and you hope he doesn’t catch onto the way your fingers twiddle together nervously and you avert your gaze. “Anyways, you like Cola right?” he clarifies when reaching into the drink fridge near the cooler. You nod shyly, thanking him quietly when he hands you a can.

As you make your way to the cash register, you fish around in your pockets for a few moments hoping you’ll dig up a dollar bill or something but then Minghao’s hand is on your wrist and he shakes his head with a smile.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll cover it.” He turns back so quickly you don’t have time to protest because he’s already sticking his card into the machine, throwing the cashier a thumbs up and walking out the store without a word.

“I could’ve paid for myself, y’know,” you grumble, following behind Minghao, watching to see where he’s headed. You think he’s going to get back into his car, but instead he plops down on the street curb, sitting on the ground. You just look at him for a few moments, contemplating what to do for a few moments before joining his side.

“Yeah, but I wanted to pay for it.”

The sun is bright and it beads down on you relentlessly, but you don’t complain. You both sit in silence as you both tend to your snacks—Minghao tries to lap up his popsicle quickly now that you’re out in the heat and you try to drink as much of your Cola as you can before it grows lukewarm. The air grows thick between you.

You can’t find the right words to say. You suppose there aren’t any right words or any wrong words, and that you can say just about anything right now and it wouldn’t matter.

Glancing at Minghao who takes a lick of his pink popsicle, you feel that uneasy feeling swarm inside of your chest.

You could kiss him right now. You could press your mouth against his sticky lips and lap at the sugar against his tongue. You could hold his face and run your fingers through his hair and cradle the nape of his neck. You could do anything right now and it wouldn’t matter.

Minghao, after all, was leaving.

But you’re scared and Minghao is mature and his dreams are big and he’s brave.

Your eyes linger on his plush lips for no longer than a second before you shamefully look down at the Cola in your hands, suddenly feeling sick to your stomach.

“You’ll remember this place, right? Like—if you get big and famous and stuff, you two won’t forget, right?” you resort to asking. You say ‘this place,’ but really, you mean ‘me.’ You don’t want to be forgotten.

Minghao watches you with his eyes clouded with something you can’t really make out. “Of course we won’t. We’ll remember forever.” Absentmindedly, you trace figure-eights into the top of your can of pop, and Minghao catches the motion.

Using his own finger, he traces the figure of the number eight over the cement of the curb. “See. Like infinity, y’know?”

You purse your lips together and nod, your mind going dizzy. “Can we … can we go?” you mumble softly, gripping the can in your hand. “I think the heat kinda got to me.” It’s not entirely a lie.

Minghao doesn’t question you, polishing off his popsicle and tossing it into the trash before unlocking the door so you can take the silent ride home.

Jun and Minghao flew out two months ago. You went with your family and Minghao’s family to bid goodbyes. It’s not like you wouldn’t see them again—give or take a few months and Jun would be back at home, but he’d have to leave again. And again. And again.

It’s sad, you think, as you slump against Yiren on some random person’s couch. You miss them so much, but when you think about Jun and Minghao, all you can see is the hard work they’ve put into going where they’re headed.

You feel selfish as you bring a cup up to your lips. You feel pathetic and lame and if you weren’t already drunk, you’d be wallowing in self pity as well. The alcohol tastes just as bitter as your feelings, and while you wince when you gulp it down, you don’t hesitate to let some more run down your throat.

Yiren watches you worriedly when you clutch her arm and shut your eyes tight. “I miss them,” you whisper, and she doesn’t know if you’re talking to her or to yourself. She strokes your hair and coos to you about taking you to lie down somewhere.

Your head spins as she helps you stand, letting the cup fall to the ground, not bothering to pick it up. Yiren pulls you into an empty bedroom and sits you on the bed. “Drink this,” she instructs, handing you a bottle of water.

“Yiren, I miss them,” you repeat yourself.

“I know, I know you do. Do you want to go home? I’ll drive you and—”

“No, you go have fun. I just need to sit down for a sec,” you tell her, letting your back fall onto the mattress. Yiren gives you a warning look, but you shoo her off. “Trust me, I’ll be fine. I’ll call you if I need anything.” She looks like she wants to protest, but you both know you’re on a one track mind right now.

“Please don’t do anything stupid,” Yiren begs as she walks away and closes the door behind her. You’re still dizzy, but not nearly as bad as before. Sitting up, you glance around the room. It’s simple—probably a guest room in whoever’s house this is. Also probably why the door was unlocked in the first place.

You feel you might pass out until your eyes land on an open notebook on a table in the corner of the room. You don’t think twice before standing up and ripping a sheet out, scrambling for a pen.

DEAR MINGHAO

I’m drunk right now. I miss you and I miss Jun. I hope when you guys come back again, we can go to that karaoke place again and sing to Radiohead. I’ve expanded my taste you know—my favorite song is Fake Plastic Trees now, and I even got a record player just so I could play the vinyl for it. Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.

When you come back, we should really go there again. Yiren’s been getting really tired of me singing Creep every time, so I need a new duo partner. And she’s leaving too, so there’s that.

I really want to kiss you right now, but you’re in Korea.

I miss Jun a lot too. I think I hate you for it. He’s my brother but somehow you get to see him more and talk to him more and be with him more. Sometimes I call him and it’s for less than five minutes and I hear your voice in the background and I don’t know if I want to listen to you speak forever or strangle you so you can never talk again. I get that Jun is busy, and that you’re busy, but you guys get to be busy together.

Yiren told me she’s probably going to go to college out of the country next year. I’m going to miss her like hell. I think I already miss her, and so I drag her to karaoke with me so she won’t ever forget about me and Radiohead and how garbage I am at singing Creep.

Jun says he’s going to come visit home in two months, and that you might come along. I didn’t know home was a place you only visit, but I guess being an idol changes you. I probably sound super bitter right now. I’m not. Maybe I’m upset that you guys are gone, but I really am happy for you.Jun is happy, and you’re happy, and I’m so happy you have each other.

It’s hard to focus on your exam—halfway through your degree and you still get the jitters every time you step into the testing hall. It’s probably the nerves. And the caffeine. And the fact that you’ll be seeing your brother and Minghao in three hours.

It’s mainly the third that has your leg bouncing up and down on the balls of your feet as you jot down your answers. The exam takes longer than you’d like to finish, but as soon as you’ve finished the final question, you’re bolting out of the large room and toward the parking lot.

Connecting your phone to your car, you call Jun as you back out of the parking spot. “Hey, you guys at the airport?” you ask when you hear him pick up.

“Yeah, we’re just getting out right now but there’s kind of a crowd so it might take a while to just get to the car.”

“I forgot you guys are, like, famous,” you mutter jokingly. “Where’re you headed first? Minghao’s place first?”

“Yeah probably. He’s gonna see his parents and stuff first and then I’ll go to Mom and Dad’s house, so you can just come there.”

“Okay … we’re still good for our dinner plans, right?”

“Yeah, actually I was wondering if Minghao could tag along,” Jun says, and you can hear some muffled shouting from the other side.

“Oh okay, yeah su—”

“Hey, look, there’s a lot of people here and I can’t hear much so just text me your response and I’ll get to you in a second,” Jun tells you quickly as the shouting grows louder. He hangs up soon after and you sigh heavily as you start driving to your parents house.

The ride is quiet but you’re happy to be met with gleeful parents when you get to their place. You’re all a bit spirited at the prospect of Jun coming home, so when you hear the old ringing of the door bell, you’re bolting to the door and swinging it open, jumping into his arms.

“What happened to ‘hi,’ ‘hello,’ ‘how are you?’” Jun teases as he hugs you close, awkwardly trying to shuffle into the house. You poke your tongue out at him when you finally unwind your arms from around him.

“Hi. Hello. How are you? You seem obnoxious, as always,” you shoot back, and Jun only grins, pinching your cheek tightly.

“Oh how I missed my little insane sister,” he says before moving onto your parents, enveloping them in hugs as you all begin to settle down in the living room. The four of you spend a few hours catching up with Jun before he excuses himself to freshen up so he can get ready for your plans for the evening.

When he comes back all ready, you’re pulling out your keys from your purse and waving bye to your parents, promising them you’ll stop by the next morning as you and your brother make your way to the door.

“See you later!” Jun calls out before closing the front door behind him and following you to your car. Minghao’s house is close by, no more than a five minute drive, and it’s quiet as you take the familiar roads through the town to get there.

“Should we go in?” you ask when you park in Minghao’s driveway. “You haven’t seen his parents in a while, have you?”

“Oh yeah, you’re right. C’mon, let’s go.” You both slip out of the car and make your way to the front door. Minghao’s mother opens the door and you spend a few minutes exchanging greetings and catching up before Minghao is stepping out, clad in some black jeans and a grey hoodie.

He smiles when he sees you, pulling you into a hug, giving you a chance to feel the slightly damp hair against your cheek and the woody smell that always reminds you of him. “Hey, how’s it been?” he asks when he pulls away.

“I-I’m good,” you say shyly.

“Let’s talk more in the car, yeah?” Jun suggests, turning back to Minghao’s parents to give them a hug before you all wave your goodbyes and get into your car.

“Where’re we headed?” Jun asks, as you back out of the driveway. Jun sits in the passenger seat while Minghao slips into the back.

“It’s this new place—opened just a few months ago so I doubt you’d have gone there yet,” you tell him as you start driving.

“Is it the place next to the cafe?” Minghao asks you, and you nod excitedly.

“Yeah … how’d you know?”

“My mom told me about it, and said I should try it out. I guess now’s my chance, huh.”

“Yeah! It’s really good, I hope you both like it,” you say, reaching over to the AUX controls to flick on one of your playlists. “Okay guys … are you ready?” you warn, watching Minghao’s eyes brighten through the mirror.

“Oh my god, don’t tell me you guys are going to sign Creep again—” Jun starts to groan, but you reach over and press a finger over his lips to shut him up.

“Quiet,” Minghao hisses to his friend, scooting forward in his seat so you’re in his view, placing his hands under your headrest. His fingers brush against the back of your neck and you’re scared you might crash the car from the way his touch makes you shiver. Fuck, more than half a damn decade and you still can’t fight it off. “Turn it up,” he instructs from behind, and you can only grin as you reach over and pump up the volume.

The deep rumble of snare and guitar echoes through the car as the song starts and you already feel your heart begin to swell in your chest. So when the first lines of, ‘when you were here before,’ leave your lips, you aren’t sure if you feel your heart mending itself, or if it’s salt being poured on the wound.

Because from behind you is Minghao’s voice, so deep and velvety and angelic it has you almost in a trance. He’s been good at singing, always, but now his voice sounds … mature, and developed and … and you love it.

You think back to the first time you sang Creep with him, and the lyrics already have you reminiscing when you both sing, ‘couldn’t look you in the eye,’ because goddammit you still struggle to look at Minghao for too long because you’re scared you’ll get lost.

And when it gets to the part before the bass is blaring in your ears, Minghao and you are singing, ‘I wish I was special, you’re so fuckin’ special,’ at the top of your lungs and you can’t help but let the irony sink in.

Now you’re pretty sure when Thom wrote Creep, he didn’t mean it to be about your love life, especially not the non-existent one between you and your brother’s best friend, but Thom is speaking to you right now, and you wonder if Minghao can hear the way you’re singing from your heart. How you’re singing for him.

When the song comes to an end, Minghao’s fingers brush over the nape of your neck one last time before he retreats back into his seat. You try to not mull on the feeling any longer, shaking your head of all of those thoughts when you near the restaurant.

“Here it is!” you chirp, parking the car on the curb. The three of you shuffle out of the car casually, making your way to the entrance.

“Looks nice,” Minghao comments as he opens the door for you and Jun. Your brother hops in merrily and you and Minghao both share a soft smile as you go inside too, your body nearly jerking when you feel his hand on the small of your back as he follows behind you.

His touch is warm and gentle and—fuck, does he know what he’s doing to you right now?

You’re more relieved than anything when he finally lets his arm drop, the three of you making your way to the table you booked. You were scared that if Minghao stayed close any longer, he’d be able to feel your heart beating through your chest.

You guys sit down at the table, Jun next to you while Minghao settles across the two of you. “So how’s your classes going?” he asks you as you look through the menu. “Jun said you had an exam today, right?”

“Yeah, it was my final one,” you tell him with a sigh of relief. “It was stressful preparing for it but it went better than I thought.”

“Good to hear,” Minghao says as a waiter comes along to pick up on your orders. After he leaves, Jun turns to you.

“What’s Yiren up to?” Jun asks you curiously. “Haven’t seen that girl in ages.”

“She’s, uh, she’s good,” you reply. “I haven’t seen her in a while either … she went off to college in Korea, remember?”

Minghao chuckles, “Seems like everyone’s going there, huh? Maybe you should pull up too.”

You scrunch up your face and shake your head while you take a sip of water. “I think I like this place too much to leave. Plus, who’s going to take care of our old folks if I leave too?” you tease, nudging your brother in the side.

“Mom and Dad can take care of themselves just fine,” Jun shrugs, ruffling your hair as the waiter brings along some food.

“Looks good,” Minghao says, holding up some chopsticks as you all look down at the sizzling dishes in front of you.

“It is! See?” you say pointedly, looking up at Jun. “Imagine I moved to Korea—I wouldn’t be able to eat this.” Your brother only rolls his eyes and Minghao and you laugh together while you dig in.

As you work through your meal and catch each other up on your lives, Minghao eventually leans back in his seat and sighs heavily. “I’m really craving something sweet right now.”

“I’d say we should pick up some pastries from the cafe next door but they closed two hours ago,” you say sadly.

“Oh shit, I forgot about that place. They made the best chocolate buns ever,” Jun mutters to himself, polishing off his plate.

“Let’s go to the cafe tomorrow evening, yeah?” Minghao suggests as he takes a sip of water. At the suggestion, you chew at your lip.

“Uh, I don’t think I can go then,” you say, hoping they won’t pry any further.

Of course, your brother doesn’t allow you a second of peace. “Why not? Your last exam was today, right?”

“Yeah, but I have stuff to do,” you reply nonchalantly. Jun scoffs and tugs your ear, causing you to whine. “What was that for?!”

“You didn’t clear your schedule out for me? I thought you missed me! You know I have to leave in like a week,” he complains, and you and Minghao share an amused look as you nudge Jun on the side.

“Relax, you can have me in the morning and afternoon and everything … I just have to go somewhere for the evening.”

“You’re being really ominous about this, you know,” Jun retorts, crossing his arms over his chest. “Where’re you going?”

You chew on your tongue, contemplating if this is the right moment to bring it up, or if you should even tell Jun and Minghao this at all. “I just have to see someone.”

“Oh my god, shut up,” Jun groans. “You’re literally asking me to pry. Tell me who—a boyfriend?” You chuckle nervously, eyes flickering between Minghao and your brother, shaking your head.

“No—not a boyfriend,” you say dryly, scoffing at the irony. “Remember Renjun? I told you about him when I was in freshman year.”

“Vaguely. Remind me who he is again?”

“He’s just a guy, and he has some of my stuff I need to pick up.” Both Minghao and Jun cock an eyebrow at you after that. “What?” you huff, leaning back in your seat.

“An ex?” Minghao asks and your face burns.

“I—yeah,” you say casually. “An ex.”

Jun frowns deeply. “I didn’t know you and Renjun ever dated. I didn’t even know you ever had a boyfriend,” he says, voice evidently upset that he was left out of this.

“It wasn’t that serious,” you pat his shoulder as to soften the blow. “Plus it happened when you were on tour—we hardly talked then.”

“Still! You could’ve told me!” You bite back a, ‘But could I really?’ because this isn’t the time or place for that.

“It’s whatever. I just need to pick up some stuff I left at his place and—”

“So it ended pretty recently then?” Minghao piques, and your eyebrows furrow, slightly annoyed by both of their belated interest in your love life.

“What, no! It’s been months and—wait, I don’t see how that’s any of your guys’ business,” you huff and Minghao backs off a little, but Jun still stays curiously leaning in.

“Whatever. You’ll be available to come with us to the lake on Friday though, right?” Jun asks, pulling out his phone and holding it up to your face to show you a picture of a lake house. “I booked a place to stay the night and all.”

“Of course I’m going to come—I’ve been looking forward to it!”

“Good,” Jun says gruffly, still somewhat glaring at you.

You give him a funny look. “What?”

“I’m still mad you never told me—you’re supposed to tell me this stuff! How else am I supposed to know that you’re doing fine on your own and actually growing up.”

“Oh my god, Jun, I’m an adult! Did you think I would never have boyfriends?”

“No! At least not without telling me!”

You chuckle and Minghao follows in suit, enjoying the little sibling bicker. “Okay fine. I’m sure I’ll be telling you every detail of my love life when it gets resurrected.”

Minghao snorts at your use of words, and you revel in the way the sound makes you feel. Fuck it, it’s been more than half a decade and you still get butterflies—you can’t fight away the feeling, so you might as well wallow in it.

You wonder what Jun would think about this—your love life being pulled and shaken by his own best friend. Oh well, some secrets are best kept hidden anyways.

“Here’s your stuff,” Renjun says softly, handing you a paper bag that’s stuffed with a wide array of your belongings.

“Thank you. Is my pink jacket in there? I’ve been looking for it for a while and I didn’t know if I left it at yours,” you ask timidly, holding the paper bag close to your chest.

He scratches the back of his head as he steps back, nodding. “Uh, yeah I think it’s at the bottom.” You peer down at the contents of your back, and give a half smile when you see the pink cloth peeking out from underneath.

“Thanks for taking care of my stuff. I know you’ve basically moved out and all.”

“No worries. Do you, uh, need a ride home or anything? It’s pretty cold.”

You purse your lips at the offer, but shake your head. “It’s fine …” There’s an awkward silence and you quickly wonder if you should say anything more. Renjun looks awfully … apologetic right now and you feel there’s some more you can say. “How’s your new place? Have you seen it?”

“Yeah, I flew up there a few weeks back to get some of my main stuff shipped. A nice apartment, way bigger than whatever I had here,” he says with an awkward chuckle. You appreciate the effort.

Nodding, you tighten your grip on the bag. “That’s good to hear. I hope it all goes well with you. I … I think I’ll be taking my leave now. My brother’s back in town so …”

“Oh yeah, I heard from Jianing. Hope you’re having a good time—I know you haven’t seen him in ages.”

“Thank you. Anyways, I’m gonna get going now. Thanks again,” you say as you step back, throwing out a small wave.

A half-hearted, “See you,” leaves Renjun’s lips as you turn on your heel and start walking back to the bus station. There’s no promise of seeing Renjun later, or ever again, and something cold sinks in your stomach at the thought.

The thought that this all could’ve been avoided if Renjun hadn’t gotten that stupid job offer hundreds of miles away. If he didn’t decide to pack his bags and fly away just like Jun, like Yiren, like Minghao. Renjun was leaving, just like everyone else.

You clutch the paper bag close to your chest as you make your way to the bus stop, one hand fumbling in the pocket of your jacket as you search for your wallet and within seconds you’re a frantic mess. “Shit,” you mutter under your breath. “Shit, shit, shit!” you cry out when you drop your bag and pat frantically over your pockets to try and feel for your wallet.

Your digging into every crook of the coat and there’s a growing feeling of dread that washes over you once you realize that you lost your fucking wallet. Hands clenched at your side, you feel hot tears well up in your lash line as you stare down at the ground, letting in the shitty events of today sink in.

You don’t even know why you’re crying now. It’s hardly even cries, really, you’re downright sobbing as you plop down on the curb of the empty street, fumbling with your phone as you pull up Jun’s contact. Pressing the phone to your ear, you shut your eyes tight in an attempt to calm down your breath, but when you hear the line go dead you cry even harder, realizing that Jun is probably napping right now.

“Fuck my life,” you complain to yourself, letting your head hang low as you scroll through your phone. You aren’t even sure what compels you to click on him but before you know it you’re on speaker as you hear the buzzing of the phone as you wait for Minghao to pick up.

One ring. Maybe he’s busy.

Two rings. He might be looking for his phone.

Three rings. He probably won’t pick up.

Four rings, and you’re about to hang up but then it stops. “Minghao?”

Minghao’s voice is cool and calm when he says your name. “Do you—”

“I need your help,” you say so quietly you aren’t sure if he’ll be able to hear it. And then Minghao hears it: your soft pants and shaky breath and something about the sound has him squeezing his phone tightly.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m—” No, I feel like shit and I’m freezing my ass off and it’s so cold and I need you to help me. “Can you pick me up? I lost my wallet which has my bus card. I’m sorry, I know it’s a little late and you’re probably busy but—”

“Send me your location.”

Minghao is pulling up in his black car within twenty minutes and by then you’ve had enough time to wipe the tears from your face and piece together yourself to look presentable. Rolling down the windows as you wave over to his car, you hear the doors click and you’re roughly yanking on the door and throwing your stuff and yourself in.

Minghao raises a brow at your ruckus, asking once again, “Are you okay?” When you only sigh heavily, buckling yourself up, you hope Minghao will just leave it alone. You’d rather not talk about the stupid breakdown you just had in front of your childhood crush.

Minghao clearly doesn’t get the message, so when he starts the engine again, he murmurs, “Have you been crying?” You purse your lips together tightly as if the question itself as the tears bubbling up to the surface once again. “Did meeting with Renjun not go well?” You’re surprised he remembers his name—Minghao was never great with names. “Can you say something? I’m worried.”

“Sorry,” you say softly, letting your shoulder drop down, and from the corner of your vision you see Minghao watching you carefully. “I-I just got overwhelmed. And it was cold. Really cold. And then—” You take a shaky breath. “—and I lost my fucking wallet on top of it and it’s all so shitty and—”

His hand is on your shoulder and you hardly realize that Minghao has pulled over and parked so he can turn to face you. You’re crying again and you don’t even know how this fucking happened, all you know is that there’s so much going on in your head and Minghao is right there, he’s so close but then again, he’s so far.

“Hey, hey calm down for a sec’,” he says calmly, gripping your arm firmly. “Breathe slowly, and tell me what happened.”

You inhale sharply through your nose and scrunch your face up as you bury your head in your hands. In your right mind, you wouldn’t even think about telling Minghao about what’s on your mind but it’s been a really terrible past hour and you can’t control yourself.

“Renjun’s leaving. Didn’t want to do long distance and so he’s gone and—fuck, I don’t even blame him but why’d he have to leave,” you ramble, tears streaming down your flushed cheeks as Minghao pats your back gently.

“Did he say something to you when you met with him?” he asked, tone laced with concern. “I’m sorry, I’m just—are you o—okay please don’t cry.”

You don’t know why, but Minghao telling you to cry only makes the tears fall faster. “And Yiren—” you hiccup, “Yiren left too, I haven’t seen her in months and Jun a-a-and you—you’ve all been gone.” You don’t realize when Minghao grabs both your shoulders and forces you to face him completely.

“Slow down, please. No one’s left you, we’re all going to be here for you, you know that. Did Renjun say something which made you think like this?” he asks, the grip on your shaking shoulders growing tighter as you desperately try to steady yourself.

“N-no, but you’re not here. I hardly ever get to see my own brother and Yiren and you and Renjun and everything is so shitty I just—” you cry out and suddenly you stumble forward in the seat and before you know it Minghao’s arms are around you.

It’s not like you haven’t hugged him before but this is the first time you’re blubbering into his shoulder about your feelings, and if you weren’t so sad, you’d be fucking appalled. His warm hand is on your back, rubbing up and down slowly until you’ve finally found the conscience to actually breathe and realize just what’s going on.

Slowly, you pull away from Minghao’s hold, furiously wiping away at your face to dry yourself, looking down at your lap bashfully. “I am so sorry, what the fuck, I-I don’t know what came over me,” you blurt out when Minghao drops his hands from your shoulder. You miss the warmth, but you’re quite very embarrassed with yourself and don’t have the will to chase after his touch.

“Please don’t apologize,” Minghao replies softly, watching you with wide eyes. “That … was a lot and—”

“I’m sorry, look, I was just having a shitty day and it all piled up and you just—I don’t know I guess, let’s just pretend this never happened,” you beg with him. Minghao’s face looks like he wants to say more, but you really can’t tell with the way his eyes are clouded.

“Are you sure? You know you can talk to me.”

You gulp at the irony. No, you really can’t. You can’t tell Minghao anything, really, because even after crying and sobbing and wailing in his car he still looks at you with so much care and it has these stupid fucking butterflies erupting in your stomach like you’re fifiteen with a massive crush on your brother’s best friend.

“Can you just please drive me to my place?” you ask, looking up at him with pleading eyes. “I think I just really need to sleep.”

You can tell Minghao still has questions, but you don’t seem too willing to answer them so he doesn’t say anything when he nods and turns back to the road. The ride is silent, and when he finally parks he pats your shoulder.

You look out the window and furrow your eyebrows. “This isn’t my apartment complex …” you tell him, confused as you see a convenience store in front of you. The same one.

“C’mon, I know you love pop,” he says casually, unbuckling his seatbelt leaving you with no other choice to follow behind him. There’s an odd sense of deja vu that envelopes over you, shoving your pockets into your jacket shyly.

“Remember the last time we were here?” Minghao asks with a chuckle as you guys walk into the store.

“Don’t remind me,” you murmur. “That was a shitty day.”

Minghao gives you a nervous smile as he pulls out a can from the fridge and hands it to you, grabbing his own bottle as well. “Yeah, but Cola made it better, right?”

“I guess it did. Cola always makes things better,” you admit. “Hey, fuck you,” you say jokingly when Minghao pulls out his wallet. “You should’ve taken me here another time when I actually had my wallet—I need to pay you back for that day!” you whine with a pout. “Now I’m in debt to you twice! You’ve bought me two Colas!”

Minghao rolls his eyes playfully as he pays for the drinks. “Yeah well things are different now, and I’m pretty sure my wallet doesn’t care about the cost of two Colas.”

“Is Mr. Big and Famous too good for my money now?” you huff when you step back outside, opening your Cola. “I will pay you back, no matter how stupidly rich you get.”

“I’ll have to hold you to that,” Minghao laughs as you slip back into his car. The air is lighter as he drives you back to your place for real this time, and the lingering feeling of pop on your tongue is sweet and fun.

“Thank you for the ride. And the Cola,” you add when he’s in front of your building.

“You remember what I said?”

You nod as you step out of the car, picking up your brown bag. “Thank you so much for this. I’m sorry again.”

“Stop apologizing. Is there … is there anything else I can do? You want another Cola perhaps?”

“Very funny, but I don’t think I want to be jumping off the walls tonight …” you answer, closing the door but still peering through the open window. You think for a second as you chew your lip, nodding when you come up with something. “But do me a favor … don’t tell Jun.”

Jun takes you out to the lake house he booked three mornings after you met with Renjun and sobbed to Minghao in his car. It’s a refreshing turn of events, if you’re being honest, and you’re eager to sink into a relaxing weekend after a stressful exam season.

Your brother drives the three hours on the way with the promise of you driving on the way home hung over your head. When you reach the house—a medium sized cabin perched right by the lake and surrounded by trees and mountains—you’re greeted with the sight of Minghao sitting in his car and scrolling on his phone.

As you and Jun pile out of the car and grab your bags, Minghao comes out too, walking toward you with his hands stuffed in his pockets. “Thought you guys would never come. If you were gonna be late you should’ve just given me the keys to this place,” he says with a huff.

“Don’t blame me,” Jun shrugs, locking the car after you’ve both taken out your stuff, walking up to the cabin’s entrance. “She’s the one who wanted to stop and buy some pop.”

“Don’t act like you didn’t want it either,” you retort, reaching into your tote bag to hand Minghao a can of Cola. “Here,” you offer with a smile which he returns gleefully.

“Okay actually, totally valid reason,” Minghao says, flicking open the can before taking a sip.

“Hey! Don’t be on her side,” Jun whines as he opens up the cabin. Minghao and you chuckle together, your heart warming at the sound as you three start to load your things into the house. Minghao doesn’t say anything about that night when he picked you up, and for that much you’re grateful. This much, you can manage.

By the time you all have settled your things into your respective rooms it’s noon and the sun pummels down with admirable strength. As you stick your head out of your room, you catch Jun making his way down the hallway toward the bathroom.

“You going for a swim?” you ask, gesturing down to your swimsuit that you’ve already eagerly put on.

“Nah, I’m gonna go later. I need to take a call right now,” he says with a sigh and you nod, about to retreat back to your room before Minghao walks out of his own room.

“I’ll go if you’re going,” Minghao tells you casually, and you don’t waste a second to nod. “Give me five so I can get changed and then we can go out.”

You jump down the hall excitedly after he closes the door behind him, making your way to the backyard porch which leads into a deck over the lake. As you place your towel on one of the chairs outside, you hear the sliding door open.

Minghao walks out shirtless, lower half only covered with his swim trunks as he runs a hand through his shaggy hair, shaking his head lightly as he makes his way towards you, placing his towel next to yours. “Thanks for waiting … shit, it’s hot as hell,” he murmurs, and you’re thankful that you’re facing away from him right now—you aren’t sure you’d be able to handle the proximity and the sight of his bare upper body.

“Yeah,” you agree, finally straightening your back and putting some distance between the two of you when you start walking towards the edge of the deck. “The water’s so clear,” you think out loud, looking down at the blue lake in front of you.

“It’s really pretty … you want a picture?” Minghao suggests, walking up behind you.

“I would, but I left my phone inside.”

“Let’s just take it on my phone,” he says casually, holding up his phone in front of you, waving at you to step back a little so he can take a picture. “A candid one would look pretty with this view—like you’re looking out at the lake and stuff,” he begins to say, placing a smooth hand on your shoulder so he can manually turn you around so that you’re facing away from him.

When he lets his hand drop, it brushes over the curve of your hip and you have to bite down on your lip to stop the pathetic whimper that threatens to escape your lips. Luckily, Minghao can’t see the pained expression that makes its way onto your face as he steps back holding up his phone.

“Okay ready …” he calls out from further behind. “Three … two … one!” You hear a faint tapping sound as you still, letting Minghao take the pictures as you wait patiently. It takes a few moments, and you’re about to ask him how much longer he’s going to go at it before you hear the sound of something being dropped, and then a few rattling thuds.

“Minghao, what—” you begin to question as you slowly turn on your heel but by then it’s too late. “WHAT THE F—”

Your scream is cut off short when Minghao runs forward and lunges at you, one arm wrapping itself around your waist as he jumps into the water, bringing you down with him. The cool water of the lake hits your body and the wind gets punched out of your lungs as you feel your limbs entangle with his. Instinctevely, your arms tighten around one of his as your eyes press closed tightly as you feel your warm body start to level with the temperature around you.

And so even as your legs kick around for a few panicked moments, you begin to feel oddly at peace when your head finally reaches the surface of the water, Minghao’s hand still steady over your hips as you gasp for air.

“You’re a bitch for that,” you say, a few choked giggles escaping your lips as you do. Minghao finally unwinds his arm from yours, and while you miss the contact, his body is still dangerously close to yours, and you figure that that is already more than you can manage.

Minghao smiles gleefully, pushing his face so close that it’s right up in front of you. “Mm maybe, but it was really funny. Got it on video too.”

“What?!” you screech, swimming backward so quickly that you hit  your head on the wooden platform of the deck. “Crap!” you exclaim, hand immediately flying up to press against the throbbing crown of your head. Minghao’s eyes widen with concern as he wades his way towards you, tall enough to still have his feet touch the lake bottom unlike you.

“Shit, I’m sorry, are you okay?” he asks worriedly, his own hand coming up to feel the back of your head. His eyes are big and brown as he looks down at you, and for this moment, you forget about the dull ache and bask in the way the sun hits his skin so perfectly he glows.

“I’m fine!” you squeak quickly, letting your hand drop so you can tread in the water lightly, slowly moving a safe distance away from the deck.

“A-are you sure?” he probes, making his way to you, and you have a moment to admire him from afar—the way his hair is matted against his forehead and water drops gather at his lashes, making his eyes look prettier than ever.

You chuckle at the way his lips are pursed together apologetically, and you splash some water at him to lighten the mood. “Yes, Minghao, I’m great. I hardly hit myself.” Minghao’s face looks uneasy, and you laugh again.

It takes a few more minutes of you trying to convince him that you’re totally fine before he finally lets it go. Eventually, you find yourself on a big inflated duck-shaped floaty, laying down with your face up and eyes closed. You lose track of time, enjoying the white noise of Minghao splashing around in the water around you, drifting off into a hazy state until you hear a loud yell and feel yourself being flipped over and off your floaty.

“Jun!” you whine, rubbing your eyes as you furiously push hair off your face when you resurface, glaring at both Jun and Minghao laugh side by side. “You guys have to stop doing this to me,” you groan, eyes finally adjusting to its normal state.

“What are you talking about?” Jun asks innocently as you make your way over to the two of them, not bothering to turn your duck floatie back up right. “It was just an accident I fell on you—hey!” he yells out when you lunge at him. Minghao steps back quickly as you and Jun waddle and fight in the water, splashing water at each other while you try and get your revenge.

“Okay! Okay! I’m sorry,” Jun admits with a pout. “You didn’t do this to Minghao after he dunked you in the water,” he complains as you release him.

You narrow your eyes. “How do you know about that?”

“He sent me the video.”

“Minghao!” you exclaim, turning to the boy who is now treading around a meter in front of you. He only shrugs and grins cheekily.

“It was really funny,” Jun tells you with a laugh. “I might just post it on my story.”

“Oh my god, don’t you dare.”

Jun only shakes his head and starts slowly swimming further into the lake. “Don’t worry—I wouldn’t do that. Minghao can’t have any dating rumors, now can he?”

You chew on your lip, not responding. Minghao doesn’t say anything either, only chuckling along with your brother as he follows after him. You aren’t sure what to say to that, and the comment leaves some uneasy feeling hanging in your stomach.

Fuck, maybe you did hit your head hard.

You three spend a good few hours out in the lake until it’s evening. It’s a slow day and you start to realize just how much you missed spending time with your brother and Minghao like this—it isn’t often they get the opportunity to do things like this, so you’re grateful that they decided to share some of their few days of peace with you.

The second day is even hotter than the first, and you wake from your sleep early in the morning when the sky is still blooming with purple and orange hues. Crawling out from your bed, you make your way downstairs. If it was just you and your brother, you wouldn’t be so mindful about keeping your noise levels down because god knows that Jun can sleep through just about anything, but, Minghao is with you guys now, and you’d hate to sour his experience even just a little by accidentally waking him up for being too loud.

So you can imagine your surprise when you walk into the kitchen to see Minghao already leaning against the counter as he scrolls through his phone. He hasn’t noticed you and you contemplate leaving it like that for a few moments.

He’s wearing a tight fit, black, sleeveless top that shows off the curve of his shoulders and lets the sparkle of his silver chain glint under the morning light. Minghao is attractive—you and the millions of people in his comments know that—and you feel an odd sense of pride well up in your stomach that you’re one of the few people who get to see him like this.

With his hair messy and brushing over his eyes, legs crossed over each other as he presses his body weight against the kitchen island, bare skin glowing from the natural light, he’s beautiful.

Your face heats up when you realize you’ve just been staring at him, so you quickly clear your throat. “Good morning,” you chirp, walking into the kitchen so he can finally see you.

Minghao looks up from his phone, tucking it into the pocket of his sweatpants to greet you with a smile. “Hey, I didn’t know you were up. How’s your head doing?” he asks shyly, walking over to casually run his hand over that same spot on the crown of your head.

It’s an oddly intimate gesture, and if you didn’t know any better, your heart might have given out from the way he was touching you. Still, you know he’s just checking to see if it’s swollen, but your heart flutters anyways.

“I-it’s fine,” you reply, opening the fridge to pull out some orange juice as his hand drops. “I didn’t know you were an early riser. Jun always sleeps in whenever he gets the chance.”

“Yeah, well that’s why he’s paged as a literal cat by everyone,” Minghao says with a chuckle as you place a jug on the counter. “Do you want some tea? I’m just boiling the water now so I can add some more if you want.”

“Sure, that’ll be nice.” You pour yourself some orange juice. “Do you want to eat something? I brought some cupcakes to have for breakfast,” you offer, reaching into one of the bags you didn’t unpack to pull out a box.

“Are they those cupcakes?”

“Yup—the one and only!” you exclaim, opening the lid to show him. Minghao grins, pulling two out.

“God, I missed these. Y’know, Jun actually gave your recipe to Mingyu too, but he just doesn’t make them the same,” Minghao tells you, and your eyes light up.

“Really? Poor Mingyu,” you say with a sigh.

“If you ever end up visiting us in Korea, you should really make some,” Minghao suggests as he goes to take care of the boiling water, dropping some tea leaves into it before moving the water into a pot. Then, pulling out two small cups and plates, he says, “Me and Jun have told the others about how good you make them, but they really need to try them.”

“I’d love to,” you say with a grin, giddy with the way Minghao is boosting your ego. As he pours out the tea into two mugs, you put the cupcakes on the small plates, looking out to the glass sliding door which leads to the porch by the lake. “You want to eat outside? The sky looks really beautiful now, and the weather looks like it’s nice too.”

Minghao nods, holding up the two mugs while you grab the plates and follow him outside and onto the little shaded porch where you sit by two of the chairs and the small, knee level coffee table. The sky is still deep in its changing colors, and you pull out your phone to take some pictures.

“Can you take some pictures of me? For my WeVerse and Instagram and stuff?” he asks when you’re done, holding out his phone in your direction.

“Yeah, of course.” Leaning back after you grab his phone, you position yourself as Minghao poses. “Lean back a little more so the background can—yeah, perfect …” You take a few photos, and Minghao nods happily when you show him.

“Can you take some more candid ones?”

“Sure, let’s switch spots. I think it’ll look nicer if it looks like you’re looking out to the lake from here,” you suggest, getting up from your seat. Minghao complies without protest and you spend a few more minutes taking some pictures before finally handing him the phone. “You like them?”

“Hell yeah I do,” he says, looking through his phone. “You’re great at this,” he compliments sincerely.

“I’m used to taking the kinda pictures you guys like now … Jun has trained me well,” you joke, sitting back in the seat and reaching for your own cup of tea. It’s quiet for a few moments as you both relax and watch the sky grow brighter by the minute.

Jun wakes up an hour later, trudging out his room with groggy eyes as you poke fun of him. The morning is slow for a short while after that before Minghao is reminding you all that you need to start heading back home. The two of them are leaving for Korea in two days, after all, and that leaves them with only today and tomorrow to completely bask in themselves and the rest of their family, so you pack your things and end your stay at the cabin before the clock hits noon.

That night, after you drive yourself and Jun home and you retreat to the comfort of your apartment, you flop down onto your couch and pull out your phone. You’re met with a few notifications from WeVerse and Instagram, casually scrolling through the apps when your eyes catch a few familiar pictures.

It’s on Instagram and you recognize the bright orange of the rising sky that sits behind Minghao who is smiling into the camera. The next picture is a candid one of him looking at the lake while he drinks some tea, and the third is a picture of the cupcake you made.

You grin at the picture—the rest of the world won’t know it, but you definitely do—it’s a little piece of you that Minghao is sharing with the world. Though, you aren’t sure if he put as much thought into it as you are right now.

Brushing it off as Minghao just wanting to share a pretty picture of a nice looking cupcake, you purse your lips together only for them to be parted when you read his caption.

i’m a weirdo

Scrolling through the comments, you come across people saying, many among the following:

ur not a weirdo >:c fellow radiohead fanatic i see is the8 a certified creep? o: i didn’t know minghao liked radiohead … another reason to stan!

As you ignore the increased palpitating of your heart at the idea that Minghao quoted a line from, in your opinion, “your guys’ song.” you sit and think for a moment about what to do. You consider just liking the post and scrolling past it before a funny thought crosses your mind, and so you start typing into the comments.

i wonder who took these pics lol

No one’s going to see it. Minghao is definitely not going to see it, but you giggle to yourself anyways. You’re about to put your phone down when you get a notification of a reply to your comment. Curious, you open it up, and see that it’s just a random person.

imagine it’s his gf

You laugh to yourself. You wish.

The last day or two with Jun goes as they always do when he’s here—slow, but all that you need. He spends his time at your parents house and you stop by for lunch and dinner the day after you both return from the lake house.

The afternoon, you both went down to the cafe and stocked up on chocolate buns—Jun’s request—and spent the rest of your time until evening going over your plans for the rest of the summer. You enjoy this part, always. Not Jun leaving—of course not—but spending these tame moments with him.

It makes you wonder what things would have been like if he never left. Maybe he’d move out for university someplace else, but you’d get to see him more, probably. Get to hang out with him every weekend, instead of every two months.

You shake yourself off the thought as you drive to your parents house. Having Jun around more often would be nice, but there isn’t any point in dreaming about the impossible.

As you pull up to the driveway and park your car, you notice Minghao standing out by the front door with his suitcase and a bag. “Hey, looking for Jun?”

“Well, yeah. Of course I wanna say bye to you both before you go … is the van here yet?”

“Nah, it’s still taking some time but Jun is on the other side of the house to see if the car is gonna come from that side,” he explains.

“I’m gonna miss you guys … you know when you’re both going to come next?” you ask, voice softer than you anticipated.

“I really don’t know—I’m sorry. You know how things are.”

“Yeah,” you mumble, shoulders deflating as you look down at the ground..

“I know—it’s not … it's not easy for Jun, either, I can tell. It isn’t easy for any of us to leave.” When Minghao finishes speaking you only nod, and as your eyes meet,you feel like there’s something he wants to say. “Hey,” he murmurs quietly.

A heavy hand is placed on your shoulder, and you feel you might as well sink to the ground and let the earth swallow you up. “If you’re going to talk about—”

“Hear me out, yeah?” Minghao cuts you off, and when you open your mouth in protest, he continues. “Don’t …” he inhales deeply before saying, “Don’t take what I’m about to say the wrong way, okay?”

You cross your arms over your chest. “That really depends on what you’re going to say.”

“Okay, just … just listen. Jun, and me, and Yiren, and Renjun—” God, why is he bringing this up? “—we aren’t trying to hurt you.”

“Of course I know that.” Your eyebrows knit together and Minghao sighs at your reaction, letting his hand fall from your shoulder. You miss the touch, but your mind is a little too preoccupied with trying to decipher Minghao’s words to dwell on it.

“I’m just saying … you shouldn’t try to depend on anyone.” You open your mouth and then close it, trying to figure out how the hell he expects you to respond to this.

“What d’you mean?”

“Well I mean,” he huffs before continuing, shoving his hands in his pockets, “you obviously have been … upset about people leaving you and you can’t expect everyone to stick around forever.”

“If you’re talking about Renjun, he was my boyfriend. I think it’s okay for me to expect someone who I’m dating to ‘stick around,’ even though it might not be forever.”

“I guess, but it’s not just Renjun, right? Jun … Yiren … me …” he voice trails off.

“I basically spent my whole middle and high school years around you and Yiren, and Jun is literally my brother. Do you think me wanting the people I quite literally grew up around to be here for me is being ‘dependant?’”

“I don’t know what to tell you. I mean we were all going to grow up eventually? Look, don’t take this the wrong way and—”

“Excuse me?” you blurt out harshly, taking a step back, scoffing before you continue. “I wouldn’t be taking this the wrong way if you obviously didn’t mean it the wrong way. You basically just said I’m not independent.”

Minghao frowns at your reaction before responding, “I didn’t say that. I just said you shouldn’t depend on anyone.”

“Which implies that I am depending on people unnecessarily!”

Minghao adjusts his backpack straps as he says, “I mean you did cry for quite a while about how people are leaving you. I just don’t want you to get more hurt by being dependent on others.”

“Thanks for the concern,” you shoot sarcastically, “but I’m not dependent on anyone. I was upset that night because all the people closest to me have moved away and if you ask any normal person, I’m pretty sure they’d agree that that’s a valid reason to cry a little. So sorry if that was too much for you.” You say the last part with disgust laced on your tongue, and you watch Minghao’s face grow increasingly sour as you go on.

“Okay, now you’re just twisting my words,” Minghao huffs, glancing around to make sure that no one is close by.

“What the hell Minghao,” you scoff, clenching your fists at your side. You don’t want to be the person to jump down his throat, but you can’t help but feel like you’re being talked down to. “Why—why are you acting like I’m still a little kid. I’m more than Jun’s little sister, you do know that right?”

“Oh my god, seriously?” Minghao retorts, eyebrows rising in a mix of disbelief and irritation. “You think that’s what this is about? For fuck’s sake I’m just looking out for you.”

“Exactly!” you exclaim, pointing an accusing finger at him. “There’s no reason for that! Like I said, I’m not some little girl anymore and I’ve been looking out for myself for years. You just happened to catch me in a moment where I let myself be sad about it which, again, is a totally valid thing to be sad about.”

“I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“Well congratulations! You were unsuccessful,” you mumble out, feeling an ugly knot build up in your throat. “I trusted you,” you say softly, and Minghao looks at you with eyes so apologetic you almost think about forgiving him. “That night after I saw Renjun—I-I trusted you,” you add more harshly this time. “And I cried to you even though we haven’t properly spoken in fuck knows how long and you take all that and make me out to seem like some sort of defenseless kid—”

“Can you stop—you’re putting words into my mouth. I never said you were defenseless or not independent or anything like that—I don’t even know why you think I would think of you like that because you know that’s not true.”

“Minghao, I don’t know if you’ve realized but it’s been years since we've talked properly. Just because—” You take a deep breath before continuing your bitter words. “—just because you get to live your stupidly amazing life with my brother by your side doesn’t mean that you know me and that I know you, because clearly we don’t know each other at all!”

“I’m sorry?” he says exasperatedly. “Sorry I care about you or whatever, even though things have changed.”

You scowl, and in your right mind you wouldn’t let your next words slip out of your mouth. “Well don’t. I’ve been fine without your sympathy so far, I’m pretty sure I can go on a bit longer.”

Minghao is about to respond, you can tell from the way his hands fiddle at his sides, but then there’s a buzzing and you reach into your pocket to pull out your phone. “Hey Jun,” you say, answering the call without meeting Minghao’s gaze. “… Yeah, he’s with me, we’re just waiting for the car … okay I’ll tell him.”

Tucking the device back into your pocket, you look at Minghao. “Jun is asking for you on the other side of the house. You should go,” you say flatly and you can tell from the look on his face that he wants to say more, but holds back.

Grabbing his suitcase, he tears his eyes from you and doesn’t look back after saying, “See you,” walking away and around the corner of the street. There’s that similar chill that takes over your body when Minghao says the same words Renjun said just a few nights before, and you silently wonder if this is history repeating itself.

“So,” Yiren says as she plops down onto your couch, kicking her feet up onto your coffee table. “How’d meeting with Renjun go? He give you your shit back?”

“Why wouldn’t he?” you grumble as you walk over and nudge her legs to get her to put them down. “And you can’t just flop down and sit! Put your suitcase away so it’s not in the middle of the room,” you order, trying to be stern as Yiren sticks her tongue out at you.

“So bossy—your best friend is visiting your cute little abode and you can’t help her out with her stuff?” Yiren juts out her bottom lip into a pout as you sit next to her and wrap your arms around her waist, sinking into the couch. “Okay what’s going on. You’re being extra snappish …” she asks a bit more seriously, pulling away from your hold to get a better look at you. “Was it Renjun? Did he say something before he left?”

“No!” you say quickly, looking away bashfully, leaning back against the arm rest. You fucking wish you were in this sour mood because of Renjun because you could manage that. Renjun is gone, and it would hurt but you’d get over it.

You aren’t sure how long it’ll take to get over Minghao, if you ever do at all.

“Are you lying to me? You know I can tell when you’re not telling the truth.”

“I am telling the truth.” Just not all of it, you think to yourself.

Yiren sighs loudly, sitting up straight and facing you completely. “You are so bad at this. C’mon tell me—what’d he say? Or was it not Renjun—Jun? Which Jun was it? Did you and Jun fight?”

“I—”

“Like that one time two years ago and you didn’t talk to each other until he came back a month later and—”

You cringe at the memory, slapping a hand over her mouth. “Yiren don’t bring that up. I hated that.”

“Okay sorry,” she says sheepishly. “But seriously—what was it? Renjun? Jun? Which one? Or wait—Min—oh my gosh, don’t tell me it was Minghao!” When you take more than a second to respond, Yiren gasps. “Oh god, it was Minghao.”

She stands up quickly, looking down at your figure on the couch. Before you can say anything, she turns on her heel and walks towards your kitchen. “Hey, where are you going!” you call out to her, sitting upright.

Yiren doesn’t respond, only reaching into the fridge and pulling out two cans of pop. Walking back, she sits down in front of you and hands you a Cola, opening her own Sprite herself. “C’mon, you need to tell me about this. The pop is just here for emotional support.”

You narrow your eyes at her. You thought you were dealing with the effects of your argument with Minghao perfectly fine, but as you look down at the cold can in front of you, an uneasy feeling bubbles up in your stomach. Taking a deep breath, you set the can down on your coffee table, leaving it unopened.

Yiren gapes at you with wide eyes. “You’re not going to have it?” Neck hanging low, you shake your head, and you hear her gasp quietly. “Oh my gosh, you just turned down a Cola,” she mutters, grabbing a pillow and pushing it in your direction. “Okay now you need to tell me what’s going on.” She pauses, shuffling closer, adding softly, “It’s okay, you can cry.”

And just like that, the dam breaks and stray tears fall from your lashes as you clutch the pillow close to your chest, blubbering your mind away to your best friend.

“I don’t even get it—I thought I was over him?” you question aloud. “Like when I was with Renjun I was happy and I didn’t think about Minghao because Renjun was great and he was so nice but he just—” you choke back a sob and Yiren pats your back.

“But he left,” she murmurs softly and you want to cry harder because Yiren left too, but then you remind yourself of what Minghao said. Taking a deep breath, your wipe your face of your tears and although your lips still quiver, you start to speak.

“It’s okay,” you mutter, because it isn't like you haven’t cried over this before. “I just—I guess I haven’t really tried hard enough.”

“Tried to … what exactly?”

You huff, throwing your back onto the couch as you look up at the ceiling. “You know: get over him.”

Yiren chuckles a little, and even through your sniffles, you laugh with her. “What are you saying—you gonna fuck around now?”

“Maybe not fuck around,” you say, crossing your legs. “More like … have some fun.”

“So basically fuck around.”

“Yiren!”

“Oh c’mon—you need me to set you up with someone? My sister knows a lot of—”

You nudge her playfully. “What happened to ‘Ms. I Want Half of the Proceeds from your Wedding with Minghao?’”

“First of all,” Yiren waves a finger at you pointedly, “I only asked for 25%, but if you two can come back from this, I will be asking for at least 50% because I have been rooting for you two since day one.”

“Aren’t you the one who’s trying to set me up with other guys?”

“That’s only because you come first to me. Your relationship with Minghao—”

“The nonexistent one,” you correct and Yiren glares at you.

“Okay fine. Your nonexistent relationship with Minghao comes second. I want to see you happy. If you get to be happy with Minghao that’s just an added plus because, you know, 50% of all the gifts and—”

“You’re getting 25% max.”

“Don’t worry. There’s still time for plenty of negotiation and—”

“Yiren!”

You don’t live up to Yiren’s expectations—in her words, she wanted you to have a hot girl summer, but you couldn’t be bothered to go through with it. Well, sort of.

The next two months go along as your summers usually do. You take up a job near your apartment, working through the morning and afternoon, spending your evenings at home or occasionally out with Jianing.

Jianing doesn’t know much about anything when it comes to your (nonexistent) relationship with Minghao, and you figure she doesn’t need to. When you need a distraction, all it takes is a quick message asking her to accompany you for whatever endeavors you have going on for the night and she’s on board.

It’s a slow summer, but you don’t really mind. Not burdened with the stress of your classes and with Jun and Minghao gone for the next two months for their own performances and promotions, you have time to focus on yourself.

Occasional parties, indulging in hobbies, daily walks in the mornings, late nights of binge watching TV shows, outings with Jianing—it’s all a part of a simple routine that you’ve curated to do one thing, and one thing only: relax.

It’s only near the end of the summer, around three weeks before your classes are set to resume, that Jun calls you to let you know he’s coming home with Minghao. He seems pretty casual about it, and you’re reminded about how Minghao probably didn’t mention anything about your argument to your brother, which you’re thankful for.

It’s a passing thought that you’ll have to figure out how you want to act when you finally face him again. Whatever. That’s a problem for another time. Right now, you relax.

That problem for another time seems to have become a problem for now. Jun came home two days ago and things were alright—no run-ins to Minghao and you spend time with your brother like you usually do whenever he returns: with bickering and meals.

It’s only on the third day that things become a little … a little iffy. Your brother texts you in the evening to get ready quickly because he’s stopping by with Minghao for dinner at his place, and it’s all happening so quickly that you don’t have time to come up with an excuse.

So here you are, throwing on your sacred pink jacket because it’s the first thing in your vision, some old jeans, and waiting outside your apartment building much less enthusiastically than you’d like. It’s only a matter of minutes before your phone buzzes with a text from Jun letting you know he’s here and you see Minghao’s car pulling up in front of you.

Making your way to the back door where you usually sit with the two of them, you furrow your brows seeing Jun sitting in your usual spot.

“Sit in the front,” Jun orders when you go to open the back door, “I wanna lay down.” You shrug, making your way to the passenger seat as Jun settles into the back, resting his head on the window while kicking his legs up onto the other two seats.

“Hi,” you say quietly to Minghao who nods and speaks his own quick greeting, averting his attention to the wheel in front of him without much more than that.

“Please,” he huffs, watching Jun through the rear view mirror, “don’t put your shoes on the seats. I just had the car cleaned.” Jun clicks his tongue and kicks his shoes off, continuing to lay back in the seat as Minghao starts the car. The ride is silent as he drives toward the restaurant, both you and Jun on your phones while Minghao has his eyes trained on the road.

Once he parks in front of the place, you watch from the corner of your vision to see Minghao unbuckling his seatbelt before your brother speaks up.

“You guys can wait here, I’m gonna grab the food,” Jun says, slipping in his shoes and making his way to the restaurant, leaving you and Minghao in thickening silence. His hands are resting on his thighs and you press your head on the window, looking out as you try to focus on anything but this.

“Uh,” Minghao clears his throat, and you silently brace yourself for what he might say. “Nice jacket.”

Oh.

Glancing down at what you’re wearing, you twiddle with the hem of the familiar pink jacket. You wonder if this is Minghao’s way of holding out a figurative olive branch, and then you think harder about if you’re willing to accept it. “Thanks,” you reply, matting a hand over your hair before turning your attention to Jun who’s walking towards your car now.

Slipping into the back seat, he shakes the plastic bag in the air as he buckles himself in. “Takeout secured. Let’s go back to your place now,” Jun says, tapping on Minghao’s shoulder from behind. There’s an odd tension in the air, and you don’t doubt that Jun feels it, although he keeps his mouth shut about it.

No one says a word until Minghao is parking in his driveway and unlocking the front door. You follow behind the two of them, Jun grabbing the food as you enter Minghao’s house.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Jun asks, putting the takeout bag on the coffee table of the living room as you all begin to settle down.

You shrug off your coat as you say, “Uh, I have to go back to my place and go out for the afternoon and evening with Jianing. Me and her have this little monthly date day thing, and we’re going to the city.”

“Wha-a-a-t,” Jun drawls out, a frown etched onto his face. You narrow your eyes at him, shrugging.

“What? It’s not like you’re leaving right after tomorrow.”

“Yeah, but I’m not here for long. I wanted to do something tomorrow, since I might be doing stuff after that!” Jun whines, pointing at Minghao. “We might be going to this cool store and take some pictures and stuff.”

You huff, slightly annoyed as you flop down on a couch. “Okay well can’t you do that tomorrow then? I already have plans.”

Jun pouts, and if he wasn’t so on your nerves right now, you would poke some fun at him. “Why-y-y? You knew I was coming this week!”

“Well it’s not like I can clear my schedule for you. If you wanted to do something you should’ve told me earlier!”

“I let you know last week I was coming down!”

“Jun,” you say with a half laugh, noticing the way Minghao’s eyes have been flickering back and forth between you two through the whole conversation, “one week is not enough time to change some plans. I’ve been meeting with Jianing consistently at this time of month for over a year!”

“But still—”

“It’s not like if I showed up to Korea whenever the time’s convenient for me, you’d drop everything you’re doing to spend time with me!” you exclaim.

Jun’s fists ball at his side before he says, “That’s because my job is important and—”

“The stuff I do in my life might not seem important to you but it is very much important to me. Sorry I’ve made commitments to other people before I even knew you were coming, but I don’t know why you’d expect me to drop all my plans just for you. It’s not even like we aren’t going to see each other afterwards too.”

“Well I’d only hope that’s the case—I only ever see you once every few months so sorry for wanting to take some of your time.”

“Guys—” Minghao starts to say, standing between the two of you but when both you and Jun glare at him, he steps back.

“Do you think your time is worth more than mine or something?” you scoff at Jun, ignoring Minghao.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I’m sorry, what exactly did you mean it like then?” you hiss.

Jun sucks in a breath between clenched teeth and runs a hand through his hair. “You know what I meant. Things are just—they’re different. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Right yeah. I won’t understand because I don’t have all these girls throwing themselves at me, making me think I’m entitled to everyone’s damn time.” Maybe you crossed a line with that one, but you’re too angry to care now. Hot tears well up in your lash line, threatening to fall any moment now.

“You were the one who was being a brat when you found out I was going to go to Korea in the first place!” Jun exclaims. “Fucking hell, why are you making such a big deal out of me wanting to spend some time with you now?”

Your face screws up into some kind of ugly frown at the words, and you clench your fists as your side. “A brat?” you repeat. “A brat? Is that seriously what you think of me?

“Well you did make a pretty damn big scene about me leaving, so yeah, maybe I do feel entitled to some of your time seeing that you were the one who was desperate for it in the first place.”

“Desperate? Are you kidding me—desperate? I was sixteen and you dumped the fact that you were moving away in like less than two months on me —of course I was upset but desperate? Well fuck you too I guess.” You punctuate the last word by turning on your heel, grabbing your coat off and marching past Minghao and over to the door.

You don’t hear Jun say anything after you do, and for that you are grateful because you don’t think you’ll be able to handle hearing his voice again. Walking out the foyer past the door, you stomp your way to your car, forcefully yanking the driver’s seat open and plopping yourself down with a heavy thud.

Without a word, you press your forehead against the steering and scream a loud and painful, “FUCK!” You can’t even remember a damn thing you or Jun said but all that throttles in your head is the word brat and you feel you might just pull the steering wheel off your stupid car and tear just about everything else apart too.

The prospect is pretty tempting, actually, and in your red, you continue to hit your head, albeit gently, against the wheel as you mutter incoherent curses to yourself. The thud of your skull against the smooth letter rings in your ears until it becomes all that you can hear, so loud that it almost drowns out the knocking sound that comes from outside.

“Holy shit!” you gasp, when you see Minghao from the corner of your vision, standing outside your car with his lips pressed into the thin line. Rolling down your windows, you grimace. “You fucking scared me so bad. Please never creep up on me like that again.”

He narrows his eyes at you. “Don’t fucking storm out like that again then,” Minghao says, and your eyes widen slightly when you hear his voice. It’s harder, firmer, more serious than you’ve ever heard before.

“What are you—”

“You can’t drive when it’s night and you’re sobbing—”

“I am not sobbing,” you fruitlessly choke out, wiping some tears off your cheek as you straighten your back and glare at him.

“Look I get you’re mad at Jun and all but can you please calm down and talk to me so—”

You let out a humorless laugh as you begin to roll your windows back up. “Don’t even get me started on you.”

Minghao clicks his tongue as he sticks a hand into your window to stop it from going up any further, looking sideways for a second before turning back to you. “Okay well I don’t want you to drive yourself home like this. It’s not safe.”

“I am not staying here tonight.”

“Then let me drive you home,” Minghao suggests and you open up to object but no words come out. “You agree? C’mon, step out.” You let out nothing more than a huff as you open the door, slipping out quickly and shuffling to the other side where you sit with your arms crossed over your chest, bottom lip jutting out into a pout.

Minghao has already taken your spot, hands on the same steering wheel that you were planning on smashing with your head just minutes ago. He’s quiet for a few moments as he backs out of the driveway and starts driving down the street, the car echoing nothing but your soft sniffles that haven’t seemed to stop.

When Minghao opens his mouth again, you’re bracing yourself for a round of chiding, but all that comes out is a one-word question. “Pop?” He takes your silence as a confirmation, and soon enough Minghao is pulling up to that same convenience store. “Do you want me to get it for you?” he asks after he’s parked in front of the convenience store.

You purse your lips together, finally letting yourself turn to look at him. You really want to be mad at him but when you catch the way his fingers are shoved into his pockets, teeth gnawing at his bottom lip as he awaits your answer, you start to realize that Minghao might be just as apprehensive about this as you are.

“It’s fine,” you mutter, unbuckling your seatbelt so you can get out, Minghao following you quickly.

You’re the first to walk in this time, grabbing a Cola for yourself before looking at Minghao with a raised brow. When he nods, you toss him another can and he makes his way to the cash register. He’s about to pull out his wallet when you’re brushing past him and getting there first, holding up your card to the machine proudly.

“Just because I don’t want to be in any more debt to you,” you murmur, handing Minghao a can after you’ve paid for them both. You lead the way, walking out of the door and slotting yourself into the passenger seat of your car and Minghao gets into the seat next to you, turning on the engine.

You’re still quiet when he starts driving towards your apartment building, and you think that this is the perfect chance for you to drown in the silence. Maybe if you pretend you’re alone, you’ll be able to forget about all the thoughts running through your mind.

Pressing your eyes shut, you slump down into your seat and just as you’re about to let your mind drift into the silence, you hear a familiar rattle of the snare and guitar bridge and your eyes snap open, staring at Minghao directly. He faces forward, eyes trained on the road as he pulls closer to the curb in front of your complex, sighing deeply when the car starts to slow down.

“What are you trying to do Minghao?” you finally say weakly, burying your face in your hands. “You—you’re playing Creep and you took me to get Cola and all you were supposed to do was take me home so—”

“Can I not try to make you feel better? I don’t want you to be upset, so I’m sorry if I’m trying to do the things I know you enjoy,” Minghao responds with a heavy breath, parking in front of your building just like that night he did when he picked you up from the bus stop after you met with Renjun.

The deep strumming of guitar and vibrations of the bass bounce off the walls of your car, and you slip into your seat as the words of the song sink in.‘What the hell am I doing here?’ Glancing up at Minghao, your vision grows blurry. “Minghao …” your voice is quiet and strained when you call for him, and in that moment, you know.

All those years ago when you wanted to kiss him and hold him and pull him close, but you didn’t because you were scared. When you wanted to let your tongues collide and tug at his hair, but you didn’t because you had so much to lose.

You still have so much to lose, but you’re not scared anymore.

And it seems Minghao isn’t either.

Tonight, you get to taste the lingering drops of Cola on his tongue. You get to feel his arms fumbling over the armrest, slipping around your waist and yanking you onto his lap. You get to hold his neck and let your fingers sit in his hair. You get to indulge.

Minghao’s mouth is hot against yours, tongue lapping at your bottom lip when you take a sacred moment to breathe on top of him before your eyes are fluttering back shut and your lips mold into one once again. He hugs you so close you don’t know how you can still breathe, don’t know how your bones don’t melt into each other in this burning moment.

Your lips work fervently to slide against each other in a wet, calculated mess that has you whimpering into Minghao’s mouth when one of his hands cups your jaw. His thumb is soft against your cheekbone when he tilts your head to the side so that your noses brush against either and his lips delve deeper into the caverns of your mouth.

You don’t know how long you two go at it, fingers grappling at whatever skin you can, Minghao’s hand brushing under your shirt and stroking the plush of your hips. And when you feel like you can’t breathe anymore because your heart is so full, you pull away, letting the thin string of saliva connect your shiny lips.

Your brain is foggy and you and Minghao simply sit in the comfortable silence. Well, almost comfortable silence.

You shouldn’t try to depend on anyone.

“W-wait,” you stutter when Minghao leans forward in hopes to catch your lips in another fleeting kiss. “Oh my god,” you mutter to yourself, pushing his shoulders back against the seat as you try to shuffle off his lap.

Minghao holds your waist tightly, but you break free of the grasp. “What are you doi—hey, wait a sec!”

“You said you’re trying to make me feel better but you just did exactly the opposite,” you scoff, slipping on your coat as you push the car door open.

“What are you talking abo—” You cut him off by slamming the door, and Minghao quickly grabs your keys and follows after you. “Slow down.”

You whip around to face him, tears streaming down your face for what feels nth time tonight. “Look, you left like two months ago spewing all this stuff about how I should be independent but the second you come back you act like you’re trying so hard to make me feel better and stuff and then—” You take a deep breath, “—then we makeout and you—fuck I don’t know, I don’t know what you expect from me! Do you just expect me to forget about this and not get upset when you leave again?” you choke out. “Just keep my keys and drive yourself back to your place. I’ll pick up my car later,” you mutter.

“Can you stop doing this? It’s just like what happened last time, and I don’t want to have to leave if you’re—if we’re not okay.”

“What ‘we?’ Weren’t you the one who told me to not expect anyone to stay? I’m not going to do this ‘we’ and ‘us’ thing with someone who is just going to leave all over again. I’m not going to expect you to stay.”

“Look, I just don’t want this to be hanging over your head when I’m gone.”

Ironic, you think to yourself. You want to tell Minghao that he’s been hanging over your head ever since you met him all those years ago, but you bite back the words.

“Minghao,” you say, your voice strained and tired, “I’m already exhausted and my brain isn’t working so can you please just give me my space.”

And if Minghao is one thing, it’s not pushy, and you know that this is all it takes to get him to back off. Though, you don’t miss the way his face falls as he steps back quietly.

“See you,” he mutters through gritted teeth as he turns on his heel, and you can’t tell if you’re relieved or bothered by the way he leaves so silently.

You don’t see Minghao or Jun after that night. They’rewere  supposed to leave for Korea in the next four days, and so you spend those four days lodged up in your apartment, not leaving unless absolutely necessary—you’re scared that you might run into one of them, as pathetic as that sounds.

Jun doesn’t text you and you don’t text him. It’s a bit abnormal, you two communicate at least once every two days, if not more. It’s a bit of an unspoken rule, but now that you’re both hot-headed and very much not in the right mind, you figure some rules are meant to be broken.

It’s two days after Jun and Minghao were scheduled to leave, the only confirmation that you got that they actually did leave being the group picture at the airport your father sent to the family group chat.

Jianing comes to your apartment when you finally call her over, quickly picking up on your sullen state.

“I don’t get it,” she says with a shrug after you explain to her everything that happened between you and Jun and Minghao.

“Well yeah, I guess you don’t, but this has been going on for a while,” you reply begrudgingly, sinking into your couch as she stares at you blankly from your armchair.

“Just—I dunno—talk to them?”

You give her a funny look. “How?” you groan, throwing your head back. “They won’t be back for like a month at least, and I don’t want to call them.”

“I forget they’re famous sometimes” Jianing mutters, rolling her eyes, and you laugh at the comment.

“You and me both,” you say, straightening your back.

“But still, I don’t get it. I mean just visit them?” she suggests casually.

“I can’t just fly up to Korea unannounced!” you exclaim, bewildered.

Jianing rolls her eyes at you and you frown. “Why not? I mean you just said this might go on for a while if you don’t talk to them so I don’t get it. Just go see them.”

YOURS TRULY

you: chan i need ur help [8:13 AM] chan: this is ur first time texting me in three months [8:15 AM] chan: so i am going to assume this is pretty important [8:15 AM] you: i’m at incheon airport [8:16 AM] chan: what [8:17 AM] you: what [8:17 AM] chan: jun didn’t say anything about u coming??! [8:19 AM] you: DON’T TELL HIM [8:19 AM] chan: what … [8:20 AM] you: i’m surprising him [8:20 AM] chan: ????? [8:21 AM] chan: who knows [8:21 AM] you: um you do [8:21 AM] chan: thank u [8:22 AM] chan: so what do u need [8:22 AM] you: can u pick me up [8:23 AM] chan: i don’t have a choice do i [8:24 AM] you: nope :3 [8:24 AM]

When black SUV stops in front of you by the curb at the airport, you smile brightly, waving at the driver as the windows begin to roll down. You’re about to chirp a quick, “Hi Chan!” but the words get caught in your throat when you see who’s driving.

“Jeonghan?” you ask confusedly. He waves at you from the front seat, and Chan sticks his head in from the back to look at you through the window.

“I’m sorry!” he exclaims, opening the door to help you pull in your suitcase and get situated into the back seat. “Look, I tried to leave without anyone noticing but they saw me so I told them I was going to the gym, but he said he wanted to come and —” Chan glares at the man in the passenger seat, “— I don’t even know why since he hasn’t gone to the gym in ages—”

“Watch it Chan!” Jeonghan calls out from the front as the cat starts to move, pulling an eye roll out of the boy sitting next to you.

“Whatever. Basically, I had no choice but to bring him along and tell them I was actually picking you up.”

“You guys didn’t tell Jun, did you?” you ask worriedly.

“I—no,” Jeonghan says. “And even if we tried, he won’t be awake for another hour or whatever. That’s besides the point anyways—Chan is terrible at lying.”

“You caught me off guard! I wasn’t expecting to see anyone this morning, so I didn’t have any excuses prepared …” Chan huffs, sinking into his seat as you glance back and forth between them nervously.

“Thank you for trying anyways,” you say sincerely, adjusting in your seat. “I know this was all really sudden but I didn’t plan anything out and I kinda ended up here before I could even process anything,” you add.

“Hey, Minghao was telling us about these really good cupcakes you make—if you have time, can you bake them for us?” Chan asks, out of the blue.

You give him a funny look and then smile. “Sure, if I have the time. I’d like to—they told me Mingyu tries to make them for you guys.”

“Yeah! That would—”

“Thank you, but I’m going to assume that you are here for a reason other than making us your infamous cupcakes,” Jeonghan says, merging onto the freeway.

“As much as I’d love for that to be why I’m here, you’re right,” you mutter, resting your head against the headrest.

“Is everything alright?” Jeonghan asks.

As you’re about to respond, Chan chimes in. “This is about Jun, isn’t it?”

“Ai—Channie, don’t jump to conclusions,” Jeonghan reprimands but Chan shakes his head, holding his hand up as he turns to you with wide eyes.

“No, no, I’m not assuming anything. I’m right, aren’t I?” Partly. Chan continues. “Well it’s just—I can kinda tell. He’s being a little snappier. Jeonghan wouldn’t know but—“

Jeonghan gives Chan a warning look through the rear view mirror. “What do you mean I wouldn’t know?”

“Hannie, just listen to me. So me and Soonyoung and Minghao and Jun have been practicing at night right—for that next performance—and you know that Jun has a bit of a temper, especially in the night, but I don’t know—it’s just been different recently.”

You stifle a scoff when Chan mentions Jun having a short temper, looking out the window hoping no one heard. Jun does have a bit of a fiery streak, but the truth is that you’re just as sporadic as him.

Fire meets fire. Huh, wonder what that makes. More fire, probably. That’s what got you here, isn’t it? Unfortunately.

“Has, uh,” you pause wondering if you should ask this, but curiosity does kill the cat, after all. “Has Minghao seemed … off?”

Jeonghan narrows his eyes at you. “What’s Minghao got to do with this? Did something happen with him too?” Curse that emotionally intelligent man.

Chan eyes flicker between the ground and you. “It’s hard to tell when Minghao is upset. He seems normal even when he’s upset so I can’t really tell … why though?”

“Just—just a lot of stuff. I think I need to see them both. Separately.”

Jeonghan nods, pursing his lips together before responding, “Do you need our help?”

Jeonghan takes you to his apartment first so you have a moment to drop your suitcase off somewhere, and you get to say hi to Seungkwan who you’re pretty sure didn’t even recognize you in his drowsy state.

“Where’re we going?” you ask when you get back outside of the building heading towards the car.

“C’mon, let’s walk,” Chan says, pulling you away from the car.

“Jun’s apartment building is just down the street here,” Jeonghan explains. “He should be sleeping right now, so just wake him up.”

“Are you kidding me? He might kill me!” you complain with a frown.

Chan huffs, “Well you did come here unannounced and without a plan, so you don’t have much of a choice anyways.”

You chew on your lip as you fruitlessly try to come up with an answer, sighing in defeat when you come up with nothing.

“Exactly,” Jeonghan concludes, stopping in front of a building that’s built similar to his. “Anyways, his suite number is 345 on the third floor. You should know the code to his apartment right?”

You nod, but then shake your head. “I know it, but I think I’ll just knock until he wakes up. He might actually kill me if someone shows up inside his home unannounced.”

Chan laughs at that when the two of you lead you to the elevator of this new building. “That, he might.”

“So encouraging,” you mutter, sticking your tongue out at them as the elevator door opens. “Anyways, thank you for helping me, really. I’ll make cupcakes if I make it out of this alive,” you promise while you step in.

“You better!” Jeonghan calls out as the doors slide shut and the elevator begins to take you up.

It’s now, when you’re alone, that it all begins to sink in. You’re in Korea. You’re about to see Jun. You might die—okay maybe you’re being a little dramatic, but you aren’t sure what to do with yourself so your mind is jumping towards the worst possible scenario as you reach the third floor and make your way to his apartment.

You stand in front of room 345 for a few moments once you arrive, not even sure if you’ll manage to go through with this. What the fuck are you even going to say?

(Un?)fortunately, you have a tendency to not think before you act, and before you have a second of thought your knuckles are rapping against the door. It’s silent for a moment and you wonder if you should go again.

Taking a deep breath, you continue knocking on the door at a steady rate before you hear soft footsteps growing louder in volume until they stop at the door. You hold your breath and let your hand fall, fisting it at your sides in anticipation.

When you see the door crack open, a wave of relief washes over you. But when you see Jun’s blank face as he looks down on you, a new sense of uneasiness takes over.

“What are you doing in my apartment?” Ah, how nostalgic.

“So cold. You aren’t going to let me in?”

Jun rolls his eyes, and you grow more anxious because you can’t tell if he’s being playful or not. He steps to the side though, and you quickly slip through the door so he can close and lock it behind you.

“What are you doing here?” he reiterates and you feel your tongue go dry.

“Uh, Chan told me that you’re being—well—how do I put this?” you mutter to yourself, rocking back and forth on your feet.

“Difficult?” Jun guesses, bitterness laced in the word and you cringe at the tone.

“I guess.”

“I don’t think you came all the way to Korea just because Chan told you I was being difficult.”

“I, uh, I talked to Jianing about it when she visited and … I guess I felt I should come see you.”

“So if Jianing didn’t talk to you about this, then you just wouldn’t have talked about it?” Jun asks harshly and you glare at him.

“Well it’s not like you would’ve come talk to me about it either,” you retort, and Jun goes quiet at them. “And Jianing didn’t make this decision for me, by the way, I made it all by myself.”

“Okay well you’re here now. What is it?” An uncomfortable silence sits between you two. “If you only came here to just stand there and stare off into space then—”

“Jun, please shut your mouth for like one minute,” you mutter, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I-I wanted to apologize. That night I … I was on edge.” Jun watches you intently as you finally meet his gaze. “There was a lot running through my mind and I was just—just fucking annoyed at everything and I took everything you said the worst way.”

A feeling of worry climbs up your throat—you and Jun don’t often apologize, at least not like this. Apologies usually come in the form of figurative olive trees—you buy him a LEGO set, he buys you a gift card to your favorite cafe, or something among that. Then again, this isn’t your usual argument with Jun, and maybe sometimes resorting to more traditional methods are most effective.

Jun sighs softly, not looking at you, and you grow worried that he’s even more angry than you anticipated. You brace yourself for his next possible words. “I … I did say some mean stuff too. I’m sorry—I just—I have a shitty temper. You know that. Chan probably told you that too.” Jun is silent for a second before continuing. “Is … is everything okay?”

The question isn’t quite what you’re expecting and you press your lips together tightly because you want to cry. You want to let the tears stream down your cheeks and tell Jun that you have no idea but also the perfect idea of what you’re doing and it’s all jumbled up mess in your head.

“I guess—I mean, I hate fighting with you,” you admit. “But, that’s why I came here and we didn’t say goodbye the last time and I know that was partly my fault but also I missed you.”

“But are you okay?”

“Jun—”

“Because I know you’re stubborn—it really is annoying sometimes but I’m not one to complain,” he adds with a huff, “and I know you’re a little weird—”

You both laugh and you point a finger at him, “Watch it—you and me both.”

“Whatever,” he says lightly before turning to a more serious tone. “But I never thought we’d fight again like that one time two years ago and—”

“Why does everyone keep bringing that up!? Yiren said that too,” you sigh.

“To make a point. Which, by the way, is me going back to asking you if everything’s okay. I just … I know that you’re a little crazy but I never thought that you’d fly over here for something that we could probably sort out over the phone. Not that I’m not glad to see you here, I mean, I am, I’m just … worried.”

“I kissed Minghao,” you blurt out, immediately slapping a hand over your mouth after you do.

“What?!” Jun’s eyes go wide for a moment before he relaxes a little. “Is that what’s been up with you?”

“What do you mean ‘up with me?’”

“Moody. Cranky. Like you’re in high school again.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You chew on your lip as you try to read Jun’s expression. He doesn’t seem mad nor happy nor confused, and you’re running out of emotions to label him under.

“I knew you liked him in high school, you know. Thin walls, plus Yiren is loud as hell.”

“Ugh, I always told her to keep it down! She didn’t believe me!”

“Doesn’t matter now. What you or him do isn’t much of my business anyways,” Jun mutters, awkwardly stuffing his hands in the pockets of his hoodies. “I mean I guess it is, if it makes you all upset and not okay like this,” he continues.

You can tell he’s encouraging you to explain more, and you press your eyes together trying to figure what and what not you should say. “Has Minghao … has he seemed different?”

“I mean not really, but also it’s hard to tell with him because—” Your whole finger droops and Jun quickly places a hand on your shoulder. “Hey, what is this about? Did something happen? You know you can tell me.”

“It’s a lot,” you confess. “I don’t know, I-I came here to talk to the both of you but I haven’t even thought about what to say to him. I kind of booked my tickets last night.”

“Last night?!”Jun exclaims. “Are you stupid or what?”

“Maybe I am!” you murmur, slapping your palm against your forehead. Jun looks down at your pained expression and frowns.

“You’re not going to tell me what happened, are you?”

“What happened to, ‘I don’t care what you guys do it isn’t my business?’”

“Well it is my business if you’re upset! I’m the only person who’s allowed to be a bitch to you.”

“Well ditto to you too!” You follow with a sigh. “I think I just need to talk to him.”

“He’s at the gym right now. Do you want to get coffee instead?”

“Hogging me all to yourself? I know you missed me but don’t you think this is a little unfair—I’d like to at least say hi to the others first. Or maybe have some time to sleep. I kind of got here at like seven in the morning.”

“Be grateful! I’m actually looking out for you, because they’ll literally hound you, plus I want to make up for not spending time with you last time I visited.”

You grin at the words, rolling your eyes playfully. “Fine. But you’re paying.”

“When do I not pay for you?”

“Loads of times!”

“That’s because you insist on paying for yourself.”

“Irrelevant!” you exclaim triumphantly, waving a fist in the air before Jun locks his arm around your neck and traps you in a headlock. Good times.

“We have afternoon practice, then recording in the studio in the evening, but we should be done by like eight,” Jun explains, taking a picture of the coffee in front of him.

“Must you take a picture of everything?” you sigh, taking a sip of your own drink. Jun rolls his eyes, flicking your knee from under the table.

“I am a celebrity. I kinda need to keep records of everything I do.”

“Okay well I’m your sister and I kinda need you to help me talk to Minghao.”

“Just like—I dunno—find him and talk to him. Can’t be that hard.”

“You—ugh, you’re just like Jianing,” you groan. “No help!”

“Okay fine, fine. What do you want me to do? Corner him? Lock him into a closet and keep him there so you can talk to him? Force him to—”

“Junnie what the hell,” you mutter, slapping a hand to your forehead. “I think I’m just going to have to ask Jeonghan and Chan for help again because—”

“Okay no. I’ll help. What do you need me to do?”

“Have you been listening to me? Tell me when and where I can talk to him!”

“Well I already suggested the closet but you turned that down so—”

“Jun.”

“We can try the meeting room? He’s there a lot and it’s usually empty in the evenings. He responds to emails and shit there, I don’t know, so you won’t be interrupting much.”

“You sure it’ll work?”

Jun cocks an eyebrow up. “You don’t trust me?” You kick him under the table and he winces. “Okay yes, yes, it’ll work so would you stop kicking—hey! I said stop kicking!”

“We have afternoon practice, then recording in the studio in the evening, but we should be done by like eight,” Jun explains, taking a picture of the coffee in front of him.

“Must you take a picture of everything?” you sigh, taking a sip of your own drink. Jun rolls his eyes, flicking your knee from under the table.

“I am a celebrity. I kinda need to keep records of everything I do.”

“Okay well I’m your sister and I kinda need you to help me talk to Minghao.”

“Just like—I dunno—find him and talk to him. Can’t be that hard.”

“You—ugh, you’re just like Jianing,” you groan. “No help!”

“Okay fine, fine. What do you want me to do? Corner him? Lock him into a closet and keep him there so you can talk to him? Force him to—”

“Junnie what the hell,” you mutter, slapping a hand to your forehead. “I think I’m just going to have to ask Jeonghan and Chan for help again because—”

“Okay no. I’ll help. What do you need me to do?”

“Have you been listening to me? Tell me when and where I can talk to him!”

“Well I already suggested the closet but you turned that down so—”

“Jun.”

“We can try the meeting room? He’s there a lot and it’s usually empty in the evenings. He responds to emails and shit there, I don’t know, so you won’t be interrupting much.”

“You sure it’ll work?”

Jun cocks an eyebrow up. “You don’t trust me?” You kick him under the table and he winces. “Okay yes, yes, it’ll work so would you stop kicking—hey! I said stop kicking!”

You twiddle your thumbs nervously behind your back as you wait in the elevator with Jeonghan. Jun had to take care of something with one of the other members, so he sent you off with the older boy to take you to the meeting room.

“He’ll be there, don’t worry,” Jeonghan tells you as he pats your shoulder lightly. “I just checked his location and I’m positive he’s there right now.”

“Thanks,” you say with a sigh, shifting your weight from leg to leg, “but I’m more worried about what I’m going to say. I think you already know but I planned like zero percent of this.”

“It’s becoming increasingly evident, unfortunately,” Jeonghan admits when the elevator dings and the door opens onto a floor full of rooms. “You’ll figure it out, I’m sure, seeing as you’re just like Jun.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jeonghan chuckles and leads you to a door a few steps down the hallway, pointing to it. “Don’t worry about it. He’ll be in there. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be down on floor three making some ramen,” he says cheerily, waving at you before retreating to elevatory before you have even a moment to protest.

So now you’re left with nothing but yourself and yet another door. This time, instead of knocking your life away, your hand is pressed against the knob as you debate whether or not you should turn it or not.

Once again, your body acts without your mind and you’re quietly opening the door and poking your head through the crack. Inside is Minghao with headphones over his ears, sitting at the end of a long table with his head crooked down as he scrolls through his lap top.

He doesn’t hear you, but you aren’t sure if it’s for the better or the worse. In some ways, you still have a chance to run, but in others, you’ll have to call out to him if you want him to notice you. Gulping, you realize that you’ve been too scared for too long and so you clear your throat.

“Minghao,” you call out.

It only takes a second for his eyes to shoot up, hands flying to his headphones to take them off as he takes in the sight of you in front of him. You’re at opposite ends of the room right now, and you nervously shut the door behind you as you finally meet his gaze.

“What are you doing here?”

“I—” You inhale sharply. “—I don’t know. I just think we both needed to talk.”

You can see him visibly gulp as he stands up, and looks away as if trying to figure out what he should do with himself.

“Shit,” he mutters under his breath, dread washing over you.

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out, face burning. “I know I just showed up like this without warning and I know that’s not fair so if you don’t want to talk you know I totally get it and—” you start to blabber so fast you hardly notice him walking over and down the length of the table, “—I just really wanted to see you and talk to you but I couldn’t do it over the phone because—”

“Slow down,” Minghao says firmly, now standing in front of you as he gazes down with wide eyes. “Is everything okay? When did you come here—wait, did you come here just to talk to me?”

“Well yeah. And Jun.”

“Are you okay?” Minghao asks softly. “This doesn’t seem like you.”

You wince at the familiar words but shake it off. “I know, I just had so much to say and I’m sorry because you were right, and when you said you didn’t want this hanging over my head I was angry and I thought I could ignore this and ignore you but I was wrong and just really needed to sort things out. And the night you picked me up after Renjun and all—I know you told me to not depend anyone or anything—and I know I’m not listening to you right now and I don’t want you to be disappointed but—”

“Stop,” Minghao says, holding a hand up. “Disappointed? I—please don’t think that. The stuff I said that night was …” he sighs before continuing. “You were so upset that night because you didn’t have us around and I felt so bad but also, there wasn’t anything I could do about that.”

“I …” your eyebrows knit together as you try to find the right words. “… I know that. I didn’t mean to make it feel like you had to change anything, or that it was your fault.”

“I know and—”

“Wait, please hear me out. I don’t want to ever make you think that I blame you or Jun for leaving—I-I’m so happy for you guys you don’t understand. I was just … I was bitter,” you admit. “And I was jealous of you because you get to be around my own brother more than me and … I guess I was also jealous of Jun because he gets to be around you so often too.”

You finish your confession by burying your face in your hands, face heating up as you can only imagine the look on his face. He says your name softly, and you peek up at him through the gap between your fingers.

“Hey, no, I get it. I mean, I guess I don’t exactly understand how you’re feeling but I don’t blame you either.”

“I wrote you a letter,” you blurt out, a hand digging into your pocket as it toys around with the folded paper inside. Minghao raises a brow, and you pull it out and hold it in front of him. “Right after you guys left,” you explain as he takes the paper from your hand, carefully unfolding it. “Don’t open it now! That’s … embarrassing. Just read it when I’m not here or something because I might just die out of humiliation.”

When Minghao chuckles, you feel some of the tension in your shoulders dissolve. “Noted,” he murmurs, tucking it into the pocket of his sweats before turning his attention back to you with a more serious expression which has your stomach tying up in knots.

“You know how my job is. I can’t promise how often I’ll be home and when I’ll be able to make time and I know that people leaving hurt you so much and … I guess I just didn’t want to give you hope that I would be able to give you a ‘normal’ relationship, because I can’t, even though I want to. I think when I told you all that, I just—fuck—I hoped that you’d be able to focus on someone better for you.”

You want to cry and tell him that you don’t want someone ‘better,’ but choose to save those words for a different time. “T-then why’d you kiss me that night?” you ask quietly.

“I—” Minghao pauses, looking down as he searches for what he’s about to say. “I only have so much self control.”

You chew on your lip, debating if you should frown or grin at his statement. “So you—you wanted to kiss me?” Minghao responds in a heartbeat.

“Of course I did,” and then he clears his throat, “I wanted to for a while. I still do.”

Chuckling nervously, you start to say, “I don’t kn—”

The air is successfully sucked from your lungs when Minghao slides his hand around your neck, angling your jaw up with his gentle thumb. You think you might just go dizzy from the way he’s touching you until his warm mouth presses against yours, and this is the moment you feel every last muscle in your body let go.

He kisses you softer than the first time, his tongue running against your bottom lip for only a moment before you let your hand grip at his torso instinctively. “Sorry,” Minghao murmurs sheepishly when he breaks away. “Told you. Only so much self control.”

“I-I won’t complain,” you admit quickly, and though you let your hand drop to your side, Minghao keeps his where it is: cradling your cheek. He’s quiet for a moment before whispering again, and the words make your face burn and your heart fly around in circles.

“Can I kiss you again?”

link to smut!

“You have everything? Your tickets?” you ask as you lean against the doorframe. You’re both standing outside your parents house right now, waiting for Jun to finish his last bit of packing (why he was so insistent on you two coming quickly when even he wasn’t ready is still a mystery to you) so you can call over the van to take them to the airport.

Minghao shrugs at you, pulling out his wallet to look through the pockets to double check. As he’s shuffling through them, a familiar piece of paper sticks out and grabs your attention. “You keep my letter in your wallet?”

Minghao nods, seemingly unbothered by your surprise. “Yeah. Where else would I keep it?”

“Well, I don’t know but—”

“It’s a cute letter!” Minghao reasons. “And I like having it with me. Like a little good luck charm.”

You press a kiss to his cheek when he says that, but continue to say, “I don’t get what’s so cute about me getting drunk and writing to you.”

“Okay that part, I don’t like. Seriously. Underage drinking is not cool,” Minghao mutters. “But the rest of the letter is pretty nice I guess,” he teases, tucking his wallet back into his pocket.

“Pretty nice?” you scoff, trying to snatch the wallet back from him to grab your letter. He swipes it away too quickly though, and you’re left pawing at his chest to try and get it back. “You don’t deserve that letter! I put my heart and soul into it!”

“Heart and soul? I think you mean you poured five shots of vodka into it.” You frown deeply, and Minghao relaxes his shoulders. “Okay I’m sorry—you know I love the letter.”

“Do I?” you huff stubbornly, looking at the ground.

Minghao traces a hand down your face and tilts your chin upwards. “C’mon look at me,” he murmurs, and you begrudgingly meet his gaze. “I love the letter.” He pecks you on the lips. “Do you believe me now?”

“You might have to kiss me one more time for that.”

Minghao grins and presses his lips on yours again, a little harder this time. “Good now?”

“Yes—you got lucky.”

“Okay good … but just for extra measures, I have something that might sweeten the deal,” Minghao tells you, pulling a folded paper out of his pocket and handing it to you. Carefully, you take it and unravel it, glancing over the words.

There’s a lot—like a lot—and Minghao’s face flushes as you skim over the paragraphs he wrote, slapping a hand over the paper. “Okay don’t read it in front of me!” he whines, and you beam because history has a tendency to repeat itself.

“Fine, fine,” you sigh, looking down at it one more time when your eyes catch a little note at the bottom.

Pursing your lips, you glance up and find Minghao watching you with wide eyes and a bright smile, and you can’t help but fling yourself into his arms. Your heart swells when you feel him wrap his hands around you rightly pulling him close as the words cast their imprint into your mind.

You’re happy. So, so, so happy.

Yours truly, Xu Minghao (weirdo)

P.S. I love you.

a/n. okay wow i can't believe this is done ... genuinely put so much into this fic i hope u all enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it! i definitely might be writing more about these two bc i loved them so much😭 i had like 2 more ideas for a smut in mind but decided not to add them but if you'd be interested in reading them, i might post them as a oneshot/bonus, so lmk what you're interested in! please reblog if u did, and let me know ur thoughts—it would mean a lot to me :3

tags. @synthetickitsune @ixayjun @leejihoonownsmyheart @dahliatopia @gyuswhore @hoeforcheol @5xiang @hajimelvr @miriamxsworld @blinkjunhui @lixiel0ver @josefines-things @mimisxs @ming-h0e @kawennote09 @bbyjjunie @junhui-recs @ichorjeon (strikethrough could not be tagged)

[kzdigiarc]

✍️ Fic authors self rec!

When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to other writers you know. Let's spread some self-love! 💛

ahhh thank u maya for sending me this!! <3

unfortunately, i don't have 5 fics posted here yet 😭but i'll do 2 drabbles that i've posted & 3 wips :p (& i'll give a little snippet of each) MDNI bc some are... suggestive

✦ desire | ot8 vampire!atz fic {snippet of ch.2}

“we apologize for having you wait so long, there were some… issues about sleeping arrangements but whenever you’re ready i’d be more than happy to show you to one of the guest rooms.” yunho says politely with his hands clasped behind his back. the whole ordeal feels like customer service and i have to stifle a laugh at the overly formal way they both speak. seonghwa glances at him out his periphery but just as quickly looks back to me and offers me a polite smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. why he's being so odd is beyond me, seeing as he was the one to bring me here and insist on me staying in the first place. his behavior causes me to hesitate, slowly closing my book and tucking it underneath my arm. yunho still stands with a gentle smile on his face but by the way his eyes flick over to seonghwa, i can tell he can sense my hesitation. i look between the two once more before huffing and pushing to my feet, running my hands over the wrinkles in my skirt. neither of the men wait for me to say anything, yunho turns to hold open the door and seonghwa bows in my direction before maneuvering out the door. i quirk a brow at the space seonghwa left before following yunho out into the hall.

✦ goosebumps | bf!yunho smut drabble {completed!}

“you okay, baby? you haven't said anything about the movie for the past 15 minutes now.” he asked, feigning concern. 

you just let out a meek hum of approval, not even really hearing what he said. yunho smirked though you couldn't see it. he let his hands trail up your thighs, playing with the ends of your (his) t-shirt. you took in a shaky breath when you felt his lips close to your ear. 

“what’s got you so quiet, kitten?” he whispered, lips now trailing down to your neck, leaving the softest kisses in their wake. 

“nothing.” you said way too fast, your voice unstable. you felt the chuckle that reverberated in his chest as his hands were now underneath the shirt you were wearing. he was only lightly touching your skin but you felt like everywhere he touched was leaving sparks of heat. how this man got you so needy for him so fast was beyond you. your eyes fluttered shut as he started to press actual kisses to your neck and shoulders, lightly sucking on the area near your ear. 

✦ untitled bbfs!yungi smut drabble {WIP; unedited}

a few minutes later, yunho heard the sounds of soft snoring coming from behind him and turned, the sight nearly causing his heart to crawl straight out his chest. there you and mingi were, sleeping so soundly on his bed. you cuddling with his pillow. yunho had to hold back from cooing out loud as he watched mingi’s head rise and fall with the movement of your breathing, the other man’s mouth hung open as he snored. in truth, the scene was nothing new. yunho had an entire folder on his phone filled with pictures of you and mingi napping together. if you came over while yunho was out teaching a dance class, it was almost guaranteed he’d come back home to see the two of you huddled up under blankets on the couch with an anime long forgotten on the TV. but never once had he seen it happen right in his own bedroom, on his own bed. it sent a tingly warmth through his chest as he thought about how nice it’d be to come home to this everyday. his two favorite people in the entire world, finding comfort in his space. 

✦ movie night | bff!junhui smut drabble {WIP; unedited}

even though it's not a created album, the hidden album highlighted in blue text underneath your other albums catches his attention. jun imagines what you could possibly have put in there and snorts a laugh to himself. it's probably embarrassing pictures you have of yourself or the boys, or maybe inappropriate memes. he figures he's got nothing to lose and clicks the album. of course, it's locked but he knows you well enough and he's smart so figuring out the password takes him barely 2 seconds. his suspicions are confirmed as he scrolls up through the album and sees a multitude of pictures you've taken of the other boys. but as he scrolls further the pictures change… now he's looking at pictures of you, some taken in your mirror with your ambience lighting set on purple or red, some taken while you're in bed, and they're nothing scandalous maybe a little suggestive but really why do you even hide these? none of them are even that bad… junhui stops in his tracks, thumb hovering over your phone. the photos he's looking at now can't be you. there's no way. his sweet, quiet, funny, inexperienced best friend cannot possibly have taken these pictures. but as he presses one to enlargen it, he sees that it most definitely is you. you half-naked, sitting up on your knees with a pillow stuffed in between the space created by your legs and the mattress. the hem of the large tee you're wearing is in your mouth as you display the sexy set of black lace underneath. jun feels like he might die. he swipes. the next photo isn't any better. in fact, it's much worse and as he continues swiping he has an inkling that the rest of the album is like this too. raunchy, lewd photos of you in your bed or bathroom. some your tits are fully on display, some you're only in a large tee, some you're only in lingerie. and all of them make his head spin and blood rush straight to his cock. 

✦ sharing is caring | poly, bfs!gyuhao smut drabble {WIP; unedited}

“uhm… yeah i’m fine… just thinking.” you said, nerves getting to you and making you opt out of saying what was really on your mind. you knew it was silly to still be nervous around the two of them but you couldn’t help it. you could feel the energy in the tiny kitchen of your guys’ apartment shift as the tension only grew with the prolonged silence. the two knew you well enough to pick up on not only the nervous lilt in your voice but also your body language. the way you were shifting your weight, avoiding eye contact, and picking at your clothes all clear indicators that there was definitely more than you were actually saying. 

“___, you can tell us whatever’s on your mind,” you looked up at minghao as he spoke gently to you. “when have we ever judged you?” he asked, head tilting slightly. you looked away again, drawing in a dramatic breath and looking up towards the ceiling. damn him and his extremely convincing eyes.

“i was… i was thinking about the last time we were all together.” you rushed out still staring up at the ceiling, refusing to look at either of them as you finally confessed to the thoughts plaguing you. 

minghao knew exactly what you were talking about. he did the moment he picked up on how nervous you were, he just wanted you to admit it. mingyu, on the other hand, was still trying to decipher what you were (not) saying.“...what about it?”, mingyu piped up, expression resembling a confused puppy with the way his head was still tilted. he was trying to recall the last time you were all together… oh. you and minghao saw the realization hit him as his eyes flicked between the both of you. hao smirked amusedly before looking back at you. you finally made eye contact with him, bottom lip caught between your teeth.

★ note: this drabble is actually for @angelwonie (in response to an ask she sent a while ago) I PROMISE I'LL GET TO IT BAEFIE 😭

[chiruba]

JJK BOYS PRETENDING TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND !

an. hi i love nori thats all

ft. todo aoi, kamo noritoshi, yoshino junpei x gn!reader

wc. 0.9k

genre. fluff!

tw. mentions of marriage? idklol

♯ MASTERLIST ♯ TAGLIST ♯ PART 1 ♯

TODO AOI — aoi's not a jealous kind of guy. from the very first day he'd met you he'd expressed his interest in you - although you always took it as a joke - and even encouraged others to do so! you deserved to know how beautiful you were, after all. over time he felt his feelings slowly begin to evolve. rather than takeda, you were the one constantly on his mind. he knew what he felt for you was much more than attraction when he threw away his takeda-chan handshake tickets to stay by your side, and he never regretted a minute of it. aoi's not a jealous kind of guy, but god, he wanted nothing more than to punch the sleazy guy by your side. he felt as pissed off - if not more - as when he heard fushiguro's good for nothing answer to his type. the look on aoi's face made the crowd split as he headed straight towards the man, the look on his face warning enough. "todo!-" you exclaimed in relief as he approached, smile appearing on your face. the man in front of you quirked an eyebrow up and his expression turned sour, "who is?-" his mouth gapes as he cranes his neck to look up at him. "hey bro," todo begins, narrowed eyes as he looks down at the man (you think he looks rather adorable despite his attempt at a fierce expression) "that's my partner, y'know!-" the man doesn't even stay to listen, just scurries away with his tail between his legs and a meek 'sorry,' leaving his lips. todo huffs proudly, panicking slightly as he realises what he'd just done. "i'm sorry-" "thank you!" you exclaim, arms wrapping around his bicep. "maybe you can properly ask me out now?"

KAMO NORITOSHI — noritoshi is a rather traditional guy. he believes in the act of courting - rather than immediately asking you out - and that's exactly what he plans to do. noritoshi is a gentleman through and through, and so he'll never do anything without your permission - especially interrupting what currently looks like you on a date -- but that doesn't stop the growing feeling of sick jealousy in his stomach. noritoshi doesn't think the arm thrown around your shoulder and the unnecessarily close intimacy is very comfortable, clear with the expression on your face, and yet, who is he to really say? "i'm really not interested-" you repeat for the umpteenth time, shrugging the man's arm off as your eyes hurriedly scan the room, until they finally land on noritoshi. he pretends not to be, but you can clearly see the annoyance on his face as he glances back at you and the man often - the man still flirting with you. "no, really-" you pause, eyes glancing at noritoshi one more time before you clear your throat, raising your voice ever so slightly, "i'm not interested." noritoshi immediately perks up at this, and practically sprints to approach you (all the while you hide the grin growing on your face). "excuse me," noritoshi begins politely, "please stop bothering my fiancée." the smile on your face doesn't drop, but it does temporarily leave as you choke on air to regain your composure. the man falters a bit as he looks between you and noritoshi, before throwing his head back in laughter, "yea right! like i'd believe that-" you cut the man off with a kiss to noritoshi's cheek, arms wrapping around his waist as you nuzzle into him. you pretend not to notice the pink flooding his cheeks. "tch, whatever." he huffs, and finally walks off. "nori-" "i do want you to be my fiancée." it's your turn to feel flustered as the words leave his mouth. "but not now," nori adds, "i want to do it properly, then i'll marry you."

YOSHINO JUNPEI — junpei's realisation of his feelings for you was one of the worst and best things that had happened in his life. the warm foreign feeling that blossoms across his chest each time you're together is addictive, but the late night worries and doubts that plague his mind have him recoiling in on himself - and yet he comes back to you each time. you'd texted him a couple hours earlier, asking if he'd like to see a movie with you - and obviously, he accepted - junpei had started getting ready as soon as your plans aligned. "hah, you're cute." junpei's stomach drops as he listens to your conversation, awkwardly shifting in his place just a few feet behind you. "sorry, i'm actually here with someone." he hears you mutter quietly, eyes glancing to the side. junpei feels a small sense of pride rise up in him, and his feet move before his brain can catch up. "jun!" he hears you exclaim from beside him, before you immediately move closer to feel the familiar comforting aura that comes from being around junpei. "we're havin' a conversation here," the man scoffs, eyeing junpei. you glance back at junpei nervously, heart fluttering at the sight of his hardened expression. you've never seen him like this. "well, i don't want my partner and i to be late to our film, right, love?" junpei asks, eyes softening exponentially as he looks at you once more. you manage to give him a small nod as he intertwines your fingers, pulling you away from the man. junpei knows he probably went too far and goes to pull away as soon as you're out of sight of the man, but you keep him close. "what?" you say breathlessly, giving his hand a squeeze, "i'm not allowed to hold my boyfriends hand?"

reblogs appreciated <3 

©  2021 sinrinyoku — please do not repost, translate, modify or plagiarize my work! i will beat the shit out of u (maybe)

[serenityseventeen]

♪ The Last Day of Summer With You

Boo Seungkwan: Beach Volley

“Hey! I told you to keep your hands around my waist!” Seungkwan scolded, glancing back at you who was sitting behind him on the bike.

“It's fine, Seungkwan, it's only for a short moment!” You replied, closing your eyes gently. Around your body was a large strapped bag that contained a volleyball signed by Seungkwan's favorite volleyball team.

Seungkwan hated that he had to be so worried as you daringly opened your arms to hug the wind, allowing yourself to lean back slightly. From the moment you two began riding the couple's bicycle to now, you had made Seungkwan like a father who was concerned for their naughty child, even though he was your boyfriend.

Seungkwan's eyebrows arched inwards as he clenched his teeth and shook his head in disagreement. Despite his constant worries for you who was so carefree like a bird, he felt a relieving sensation as he spotted the beach down below creeping closer into view.

The sound of the waves was getting closer too and now, he could understand how you could open your arms so carelessly. He wanted to hug the wind too but Seungkwan knew that he would be way too scared to try.

“You didn't let the bag loose, did you??” Seungkwan asked half-joking and half-serious as he took a small turn, heading towards the bike parking area.

“Of course not! For the last day of summer, you brought your special, lucky ball! If I lost it, you would kill me even if I'm your darling,” You smiled and opened your eyes, finally clasping your hands around his waist and resting your head on his back.

Seungkwan scoffed and got off the bike. You got off too and made sure the bag was still tightly strapped around your body as Seungkwan locked the bike. You felt excitement rising inside your body and then like a child, you excitedly found yourself running toward the beach, away from your guardian.

After Seungkwan locked the bike, he asked, “Okay, take out the-”

He looked at the place that you were standing previously only to find that you blasted off into the distance with your arms wide open. Seungkwan couldn't help but watch you in disbelief. The initial plan of the day was to bike to the beach then play some volleyball before going to eat at a seaside restaurant but he could tell that you were already getting carried away by the thought of having your feet sink in the sand.

Watching as you ran closer to the water, Seungkwan couldn't help but laugh. Seeing you being all smiley like that made his heart flutter and left him in a daze for a few seconds before he realized, “What am I doing, still here? I should catch up with Y/N...”

You took off the black bag and tossed it down on the sand before you crouched down to unzip it. Seungkwan had jogged over to you and came just in time as you were taking out the volleyball. There were two volleyballs, one signed and one not, because Seungkwan claimed that sometimes, children on the beach would want to play with a ball too, so he always brought an extra if he wanted to play beach volleyball.

You smiled while thinking about how kind your boyfriend was. You just felt so glad to be with someone you knew was an angel at heart. You always thought you were lucky to have Seungkwan but he would always come at you with a counterargument, saying that it wasn't luck, but it was his choice to be with you. Seungkwan would also say that you feeling lucky was how he felt too but vice versa.

“Okay okay, let's just do some rally,” You said, picking up the signed ball. Seungkwan always said that that ball gave him luck when it came to games. “If you fail to receive the ball then you have to do what I ask you to do, okay??”

“Okay, fine,” Seungkwan replied, feeling competitive. He cracked his knuckles and began stretching his arms and legs from side to side. “But if you lose, you have to do what I ask. Let's not make it something too embarrassing.”

You nodded with an aware nod. Standing quite a far distance apart, you served the ball to Seungkwan, who quickly returned it to you. The rally continued with the two of you also trying to sabotage each other in shady ways, but even so, it seemed more fun.

The way Seungkwan was acquiescently smiling left you smiling even more blissfully, eventually distracting you from the ball. Before you knew it, all you could focus on was Seungkwan's joy pouring out of his scintillating eyes and ecstatic smile.

There was a small, soft thud as the volleyball hit the quaggy sand. Seungkwan jumped in joy and you, who had belatedly realized that the ball was flying in your direction, had dived for it, only to land on the floor, missing the ball by a strand of hair.

After his little victorious dancing ceremony, Seungkwan waddled over to you who was sulking, sitting with your legs crisscrossed on the sand. He fanned himself with the end of his white t-shirt and while giggling cutely, said, “Now, what should I make this loser do?”

You stood up while holding the volleyball. You wiped the sweat that was trickling down his sideburns. The sun was so bright that even the cool wind that occasionally passed by could not beat the humid air.

“How about... look, I'll go easy on you because I love you, okay? How about just running to the end of the beach and back? I'll wait for you and play with some of the kids on the beach,” Seungkwan said, smiling. The way he was smiling was painfully annoying but you lost and there was no way around it.

Or was there?

You pouted, trying to get him to change the punishment but he had his eyes closed, feeling the fresh air of the beach flow into his lungs. You couldn't understand how Seungkwan could be so cruel but even so, you loved him.

You sighed and said, “Okay, fine.”

You had to admit that if you were the winner, you would have given Seungkwan the same punishment. It was just how things were between you two; you two were like playful kids.

“Okay, go!” Seungkwan said, opening his eyes to see you start your run to the end of the beach and back, but instead of seeing you blast off, his lips were met with yours. He couldn't deny that he was expecting it, but even if he knew you were going to kiss him, he was still flustered by the sudden action.

“A kiss won't get you out of it every time, even if I badly want to change the punishment now, I won't! I'm not going to fall for that anymore!” Seungkwan said, flipping your around to face the other side of the beach that you had to run across.

“Come on, get going.”

“Fine, fine, whatever, but,” You said softly, taking your beloved boyfriend's hand. “Isn't it better to go together?”

Before he could reply, you were dragging him as you ran, with your destination being the end of the beach. You both ran past people who were sunbathing and it wasn't until Seungkwan called out, “Hey! My signed volleyball, we need to go get that!” that you both paused. After catching your breaths, you both made a U-turn and fetched the bag and volleyball, before executing your punishment again.

“Gosh, this isn't fair,” Seungkwan said as he ran with you. You couldn't help but smile.

“Honestly, I find it pretty fair,” You replied, glancing at him who was lagging behind.

“What? How?”

“Because it was because of you that I lost that rally! Don't you know how beautiful your smile is?”

Seungkwan laughed, unable to believe how incredibly sweet your words were, making his already racing heartbeat accelerate.

“Fine, fine, I guess this is fair enough.”

----------------

© serenityseventeen

a/n: SEVENTEEN IN THE SOOP PREMIERED TODAY!!!! (Spoiler ahead) I loved it so much- jun's hot pot restaurant, shua making a clay tray, wonwoo and jeonghan building legos, and dk and mingyu building the brick oven- plus dino and jeonghan catching tadpoles was so cute... i can already feel that it was such a healing trip for them 🥺🥺

[soobmint]

sober thoughts | choi yeonjun [f] ; [s] friends to lovers! au, 2.05k words

s u m m a r y ; yeonjun has been your best friend for as long as the both of you can remember. he was there when you learned to tie your shoes, when you won your first spelling bee, when you had your first breakup, and when you graduated high school. now you’re both entering your first year of college—as the same old best friends, of course. the catch? yeonjun has conveniently forgotten to mention that he doesn’t quite see you as just a friend anymore.

n o t e ; my version of “suggestive” is still fluff, it’s just a tad more passionate than my normal stuff. i hope you enjoy this little musing of mine! it’s a very light-hearted oneshot that gave me so much joy while writing <3 (it’s almost too short for a oneshot, but definitely too long for a drabble, so i was a bit lost on what to categorize it as haha)

[back to masterlist]

CHOI YEONJUN WAS ALWAYS WAITING FOR YOU.

In elementary school, it was his job to wait for you every time you were running late, often forgetting to grab your backpack before you walked to school with him. He would wait beside of you on the sidewalk when you realized you had left your laces undone, or when he pointed out that your shoes were on the wrong feet.

As a middle schooler, he waited for you outside the orthodontist when you got your braces put on and during the countless checkups you had. And of course, he waited for you a few years later when you had both just entered high school as you got your braces removed. You had rushed out of the office right away, flashing him a big smile as you pointed to your teeth, chanting, “No more braces, Jun!”

When he saw your smile that day, he felt the butterflies for the first time.

Later that year, he waited for you when you were studying together for your first big test. You paced around the room, fretting and tugging at your hair as you complained about not having enough time to study, about the test being too big, about how you were certain you would fail. He waited until you paused for breath before he stood and took hold of your wrists, pulling your hands away from your face as he assured you that everything would be fine, that you were the smartest person he knew, so how could you fail?

When he gently held your hands and stared into your wide and sparkling eyes, his heart skipped a beat, and he knew that he liked you as more than a friend.

In your senior year of high school, he waited as you sat together at the bus stop one night, rain pouring down, your head on his shoulder as tears spilled down your cheeks, falling onto the fabric of his shirt, the denim of his jeans, the skin of his hand. He waited until you had finished telling him all about your first heartbreak. About how the boy who promised to give you the world instead caused it to fall to pieces around you, because you had been certain he was the love of your life, so how could he break your heart in such a terrible way?

He waited until your sobs had slowed to hiccups before he placed a finger under your chin and lifted your face towards his, bringing his hands to hold your cheeks so he could catch your tears with his thumbs.

When he saw your swollen face and felt you tremble from the heartache against his hands that night, he swore that he would do anything he could to restore the promises your jerk of an ex failed to keep. He would catch the very stars in his hands if that’s what it took to bring the light back into your eyes. He would do anything to see your smile, the same one that brought him those first butterflies all those years ago.

It was then that he knew he was helplessly in love with you.

But, as always, Yeonjun knew he would have to wait. He was certain that you did not love him as anything more than a friend.

If he planned to wait for your feelings to mirror his own, he figured he’d be waiting forever.

But what else was he to do?

YOU WERE LATE FOR MOVIE NIGHT, AND YEONJUN WAS GROWING ANXIOUS AS HE WAITED FOR YOU TO SHOW UP.

Since you had both started college together a month ago, you had agreed to make time once a week for movies on Friday nights at six o’clock. They were usually hosted at your house, but this week, Yeonjun had invited you to his apartment so he could show off his new T.V. 

He had excitedly prepared your favorite drinks and your favorite movie snack—popcorn with M&Ms mixed in. He had to carefully pick out all of the red M&Ms by hand. It was an old habit; as kids, red dye had always made you exceptionally hyper. Whenever you ate M&Ms, he would pick out the red ones and eat them, leaving the rest for you. No matter how many times you told him that it didn’t effect you any longer, he refused to change his ways.

“After all that trouble, you’re not even going to show up?” He mumbled from where he sat upside down on the couch, his head on the floor, legs stuck straight up in the air. He glanced at his phone, pouting at the lack of a text or call from you. It was twenty minutes past six.

After a moment of debating, he decided to try calling you. He was shocked when you picked up right away.

“Jun!” You said cheerfully, the volume in your voice louder than he had expected.

 He pulled the phone away from his ear with a grimace before answering with, “Where are you?”

“I was just about to call you! Some friends of mine dragged me to the bar, and I didn’t get a chance to tell you’d I’d be running a bit late,” you explained. 

“The bar?” Yeonjun furrowed his brows, swinging his legs down so that he could sit up straight. You had a tendency to say—and do—odd things when you were under the influence, so you usually avoided drinking in public. He found it odd that you’d go out drinking so unexpectedly, and with such little resistance.

“Don’t worry! I’m on my way to your place right now,” you assured him. “Actually, I’m here now! Could you ring me in?”

“Mm,” Yeonjun hummed, standing to his feet as he ended the call. He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly feeling more nervous than he usually did at the thought of you coming over. In the past, whenever you were drunk and around him, you would get really close to him, touch his arm, lean in when you spoke to him, and hug him way more than usual. Of course, he didn’t mind these things. But he was afraid every time that he’d accidentally let his guard slip and end up telling you the secret that he’d been keeping from you for years; he was in love with you.

With a sigh, he buzzed you in, doing his best to steel his nerves before you walked in. 

He was already back on the couch and turning the T.V. on when you burst through his door, slamming it shut behind you as you tore your shoes off and slid your feet into the pair of slippers you kept at his apartment. He glanced at you over his shoulder, unable to stop the grin that spread across his lips at the sight of you rushing about.

“Yeonjun!” You shouted, stumbling over your feet and nearly falling to the floor as you ran to the living room. You planted yourself firmly in front of him, blocking his view of the T.V. 

“Hey, move over would you?” He griped, swatting at the air in front of you with his hand. “I’m trying to get the movie started.”

“I have something to say first.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, curiosity biting at the back of his mind. But, he remembered that you had been out drinking, and decided that anything you planned to tell him was probably a result of the alcohol in your bloodstream. Not wanting to put himself in a compromising situation, he shook his head quickly, pouting. “Just wait ‘til after the movie, alright? You’re already twenty minutes late, you’re lucky I didn’t start it without you—“

He stopped in the middle of his sentence when you tore the remote from his grasp, switched the power off, and threw it to the ground. He watched, slack-jawed and dumbfounded, as the remote slid off under the recliner on the other side of the room.

“What—what are you doing?” He asked. Slowly, he raised a finger at you. “This always happens when you drink. Next time, I’m not letting you in my house drunk—”

He was cut off once again, breath caught in his throat as you leaned forward, placing both hands against the back of the couch on either side of him. He leaned back right away, but even with his back pressed fully into the cushion behind him, your nose was brushing against his, lips a breath away.

“What are you doing?” He asked again, his voice hardly above a whisper. 

Your eyes searched his for a moment.

And then, you leaned in and pressed your lips against his.

He gasped against your mouth, and he could have sworn that his heart went still before it began pounding against his chest at triple the normal rate. It was a moment that he had imagined for years; lying in his bed late at night, wondering what it would feel like to have your lips against his, the smell of your perfume encircling him, the feeling of having you so close to him, of your body moving closer, your lips growing insistent as they moved over his own.

But now that it was happening, it was all wrong.

It took everything within him to bring his hands up to your shoulders and gently push you back, breaking the kiss. Your eyes slowly fluttered open, something similar to the hurt he had seen after your first breakup present in your gaze. He glanced away, hands gripping the fabric of your shirt sleeves.

“Sorry,” you whispered. “I thought—I just thought that you maybe felt the same way.”

“It’s not that,” He said quietly as he slowly brought his eyes back to meet yours, lips still tingling with the memory of your kiss. He glanced down at your lips, swallowing before he said, “You’re drunk.”

You furrowed your brows at him, tilting your head to the side. “I’m not drunk.” You narrowed your eyes. “Are you drunk?”

He blinked once, then twice. “N-No? But you said you were out at the bar—”

“Yes, as the babysitter for my friends,” you finished for him, a smile breaking across your lips. “I drove all of them home before coming straight here. I didn’t have anything to drink, Jun.”

He was quiet and still as he tried to process what you had just said. In an instant he had leaned forward, his lips capturing yours in a swift kiss that caught you off guard and caused you to stumble back a bit.

He pulled away quickly, swiping his thumb across his lips as the gears began to turn like crazy in his mind. 

He tasted no alcohol when he kissed you. Only the overpowering flavor of the cheap mint toothpaste that you always used.

That meant you had been sober the whole time.

That meant you had wanted to kiss him.

In a flash, his hands were on the sides of your face, his lips covering yours in another kiss as he stood to his feet, bringing you up with him. His kiss was desperate, his lips moving against yours feverishly, trying to make up for all the years they had spent waiting to touch yours. You quickly wrapped your arms around his neck as he began to walk forward, hands pressing you up against him as he backed you up.

He moved forward, lips never leaving yours, until your back met the wall behind you. His hands traveled up your sides as he moved to kiss the corners of your mouth, then your cheek, then your jaw. He exhaled against your neck when your hands moved to his hair, tangling in the long threads and pulling on them gently. He placed his arms against the wall on either side of your face, caging you in as he moved his lips back up to yours, catching your bottom lip in his teeth.

He kissed you with all the passion and adoration he had been harboring for so long. After all those years of hoping and dreaming, of wishing and wondering, he kissed you like there was no tomorrow. 

Because Choi Yeonjun no longer had to wait for you, and he wasn’t going to waste a moment ever again.

[atinykidult]

TMW #1—SVT Performance Unit

[angst] [3122 words] — 500-1000 word scenarios, Trainee!au, specific tags with each part, x reader

[a/n] — To supplement my growth as a writer, and to hopefully post more often, I’m going to start this TMW series. In it, I just want to explore different aus/emotions/styles in very short but hopefully still impactful blurbs. Thank you for reading!

[taglist] — @yunwoo @woozisnoots​ @multifanhere (Thank you for supporting me! It means the world!)

— K W O N   S O O N Y O U N G

[established relationship] [trainee!reader] [tw for trainee contracts being horrible]

Heartache is saying goodbye for a very long time, even though I’ll see you tomorrow.

He lets out a watery okay.

You bite your lip and nod.

“We’ll give you a few minutes, then please return to your training rooms.”

“I understand,” he says.

“Yes.”

The door clicks shut, and you both look at each other.

His eyes are bright with tears; yours are, too.

You let out a tired yet almost humored snort. Watery eyes, tired hearts. It’s ironic. This is how you and Soonyoung got together in the first place.

You were a good thing, and you were incredibly good for each other.

After all, trainee life is hard. And the closer to debut, the further away you get from any non-idol humans.

And to be at a company with two groups nearing that fabled debut?

Your shared manager’s exhausted admission sums it up: “This is my fault. The company’s, really. We should have expected two overworked trainees to find comfort in each other.”

Soonyoung wetly clears his throat. “I—I am so, so sorry. I…”

You shake your head. “Don’t be.”

He meets your eyes, expression fiercely argumentative.

“We both knew what we were doing.”

His shoulders, usually shaking in laughter or holding themselves strong for choreography, are hunched over. For being the cause for that, you hate yourself.

“‘We both knew what we were doing,’” he murmurs. “I… I guess we did.”

More than viciously heartbroken, you just feel bone tired. Even now, you wish you could lean against Soonyoung and feel him lean against you in return. You’d spent many hours that way, silent in your mutual understanding.

Now there’s a table between you.

A contract laying between you.

No comfort, no soft touches—only two pens.

“We should sign.” You don’t raise your hand, despite your words. “Get it over with.”

You can’t feel your face.

Soonyoung’s lips are pressed so tightly together you wonder if they’ll bruise. Distantly, your insides curl when you recall the color they turn when they do.

“Right,” he agrees, not reaching for a pen either.

He tearfully stares at you, memorizing the way you stare back at him.

The thing that had attracted you to each other so powerfully?

Your sheer determination, mirrored in the other.

And also...

Your shared dream to debut.

A tear falls down his cheeks, and you can’t help yourself when you reach over and wipe them away with the pads of your thumbs.

Instead of whispered words of, we’ll get there, together, you can only offer him this:

“Keep working on that fluidity.” Your voice shakes a little. “You’ve been getting so much better.”

Your way of saying: I’ll miss you. I’ll watch your growth and be proud of you.

“You, too—with your locks.” He sounds like someone’s strangling him. “Even Jihoon was saying how much you’ve improved.”

His way of saying: I love you. I’ll watch you, too.

You both reach for your pens.

“See you after five thousand,” he says, hand hovering over the paper.

There’s a meteor in your throat, moving down and down. You shake your head wordlessly.

With your inability to reply, he signs his name.

You sign yours.

With the sound of your pen dropped to the table, the meteor meets your heart and pushes it down and down and down....

Trainees Kwon Soonyoung and Y/L/N Y/N shall not interact again until either of two conditions.

Condition A) The latter of the two reaches their group’s third anniversary.

Condition B) The event of both eventual groups acquiring 500k sales on a single album.

— W E N   J U N H U I

[angst with lighthearted aspects] [could be “canon” setting] [childhood friends]

Heartache is saying goodbye and leaving things unsaid.

You and Junhui—childhood friends to best friends to something a little too tender to be platonic—well.

There’s the whole story, really.

No verb needs to be added.

As you stare at your phone, you huff out a chuckle.

You blame PMS when your eyes well up a little, scrolling through the many selcas Junhui has sent you. It warms your heart whenever he sends you them. Even though, or rather because, he has little phone time, it means the world that he sends you a quick selca every so often.

It also makes your pathetic heart scream a little.

Not from a stabbing pain, not a scream saying I’m on a 9/10 on the pain scale, SOS!

A scream more like I feel a little helpless to my pain, and it aches dammit, and I should have just told him I loved him.

As one of your alarms goes off, you scream into your elbow.

Back to the books.

.

Heartache masks itself under warm memories and whispers of comfort.

Junhui, for all his loudness and talking much too fast, knows his heart. He understands what he feels, most of the time, and he knows what he wants.

He wants to debut with the other trainees in the Seventeen Project.

Right now, he wants to eat a delicious supper. Then he wants to sleep until he wakes up naturally.

Then, he wants a three day vacation so he can go home and reminisce childhood schoolyard games with a certain best friend. And maybe say those particular words...

Well, that’s not a want.

It’s a wish.

And while his stomach flutters at the thought of it, the reality of the ache in his muscles pulls his attention away from the pleasant fantasy of those wishes.

For now, it’s time to focus on wants and learning new choreography.

But maybe, in ten years, maybe….

Maybe then, it’ll be time to think about wishes.

.

The day Junhui left your hometown, you saw him off. Although you couldn’t see him to the plane itself, you shared breakfast with him and spent every minute together until his family left in their car.

At one point, he and you were sitting on his bed, staring at an unnaturally clean room.

“You know… I bet you’d pass the audition if you tried,” he joked, not for the first time.

“Haha. And I would enjoy trainee life just as much as you enjoy schoolwork.”

Both of you smiled with your eyes.

“But you’d enjoy it because you’d see me every day!”

“And you could enjoy my schoolwork just as much seeing me everyday!”

A pause, then a much too honest: “That would make the school work worth it.”

If you were brave, you would have asked him something like: Are you trying to say something? Please tell me you’re trying to say something.

You weren’t brave.

“Then why are you leaving me all alone?! Huh?! To suffer all by myself?! Do you know how many credits I’m taking?”

“And you’re leaving me to a bunch of foreigners!! So what about that?!”

“I’m not the one leaving!”

Insert spluttering.

And laughter.

So much obnoxious laughter.

It was a good last day together.

It was a warm goodbye.

But, want to know something that sometimes makes your heart scream a little?

Wondering if you could have made that last day even better if you had been brave.

— X U   M I N G H A O

[one-sided pining] [TW for slight age difference/feelings for an authority figure][favorite of this set]

Heartache is falling for someone untouchable.

First of all, don’t point any fingers at him.

Having the vocal instructor be a beautiful, attractive, and young person? Who compliments trainees in their native tongue? And sits with them at lunch?

It’s like the higher ups are trying to weed out the trainees via dating clause.

Second of all, and corollary of the first point: Minghao’s not the only one.

“Our teacher’s the best!” Junhui crows in his ear, Mandarin a little too breathless.

Minghao lets out a little grunt in response.

“I didn’t know our teacher could dance, too!”

“Seonsaengnim is very talented,” one of the Korean trainees says to Minghao, ignorant to Jun’s words.

Minghao wills his cheeks to not show anything.

“Really!” someone else says.

He groans at his thumping heart.

Third of all, it’s not like the feelings will last.

Shortly after the dancing display, Seonsaengnim sits with Minghao, Junhui, and a few other trainees at lunch. Here, Minghao learns something very important about their young instructor.

“Yeah, I was a trainee just like you three!” you say, hoping this conversation doesn’t take a poor turn. “Honestly, I think it was only a little over a year ago.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you end up a teacher here?” Jihoon doesn’t mention any of the trainees’ popular assumptions in his question.

Seonsaengnim must not have been as good as everyone else.

Maybe all the other trainees were more beautiful.

Honestly, I bet that’s it.

Minghao doesn’t quite know it for sure, but he knows that Jihoon, like himself, worries that he won’t debut because of his visuals. Korean entertainment… just isn’t fair.

“Korean entertainment goes through its phases.” It’s like you read his thoughts. Minghao can tell you’re sifting through your thoughts very carefully, choosing your words not unlike the way he often does. Trying to find the words. The right way to articulate best intentions. “For me, I was good enough that even though I couldn’t debut, the company thought I was worth keeping around. That was honestly very…” He's fascinated by the way your tongue peaks out to wet your lips. “Very complimentary. Of them, to me. I’m thankful.”

“Do you think you could debut in the future?” someone asks, stupidly.

“No.” Minghao is surprised to see your lips begin to smile so sincerely. “But I’m looking forward to helping you all debut.”

There’s no bitterness in your tone.

Something in him stirs fiercely. He wishes he could have that surety.

When you smile warmly at him, tilting your head as you study his expression, the buzz that courses through him is surely the way Soonyoung would feel if he ever met Taemin. Surely.

It’s admiration, that’s all it is.

Fourth of all, it was inevitable, really.

“Minghao, can we talk for a minute?”

He nearly jumps at the Mandarin.

There’s rage sitting in his stomach right now—at the company, at the guest instructor, at the mistakes he made today, at his own pathetic face.

Minghao just wants to disappear for a while.

But he can’t say no. Doesn’t want to, to this one staff member.

“Of course.”

You sit next to him, back to the studio’s mirror.

“I know today was hard, but you’ve been doing better the last four practices in a row. That’s incredible. Remember… Every time you’re not going to improve visibly. That would be impossible.”

“Thanks.”

“And that instructor is a piss poor excuse for a—oh, sorry. I shouldn’t be teaching you those kinds of words—”

“Seonsaengnim, I won’t be telling anyone on you.” He can feel the corners of his lips twitching up, despite himself.

“Just… Know you’re already working hard enough. You don’t need to be… ‘working double because you don’t have the visuals.’” You run an aggressive hand through your hair and let out a righteously indignant noise. “Just… You’re so talented, and I honestly think you look perfectly attractive. So… Just… Ugh. Know that you’re unofficially my favorite. And I hope today doesn’t stick with you. Damn, that was a horrible instructor...”

Minghao can’t help but flush at the praise, and how intimate it feels for you to be here. Sitting with him. Rambling to him so that he’ll feel better.

This talk will stick with him.

But only for the best reasons.

You take his hand; squeeze it once reassuringly.

“You’re going really far. Remember that.”

He meets your eyes, heartbeat galloping.

It was inevitable.

Fifth of all, it’s not like he’ll ever say anything.

“Today’s my last day with you! I’m so proud of you all for making it this far.”

It’s not like he’ll ever have the chance.

“Thank you for everything, Seongsaengnim!”

“Yes, thank you!”

“You were our best teacher!”

Minghao freezes.

It feels like someone took all the warmth he had felt from that talk, and drained it from him. And decided that, you know what? For the hell of it, let’s just dump some ice cubes in there. Like rubbing salt in a wound, but emotionally.

The practice passes as quickly as clouds on a windy day.

Then, suddenly, you’re hugging everyone goodbye.

Then, suddenly, you’re fondly ushering the last of the trainees through the door.

Then, suddenly, you’re brushing his sweaty hair out of his eyes.

“Minghao, you’ve made it to the debut lineup. I’m so proud of you.”

You say more, but his mind is empty except for the panic settling in.

He’ll never get to say anything.

He grabs your wrist.

“Seonsaengnim, you can’t be leaving.”

A surprised frown. “I can’t?”

I need you to stay with me throughout my career.

I need you to keep watching me improve, with that proud look in your eye.

I need—

Minghao can’t find any Korean to answer with, leaving him nearly in tears.

He feels hysterical.

And you hug him.

And the tears fall.

“I’ll miss you too, Minghao.”

I love you.

So I need you to stay.

“I’ll be watching the headlines for your name, and when I see it, I’ll be telling my new trainees, ‘He was my favorite!’” A pure, bright grin against his sweaty hair. “You’ve made it, Hao! You don’t need to be crying over me.”

That’s not the words that will make me feel better.

“I—I—”

Minghao knows the three Korean syllables.

But it’s not like he’ll ever say them.

— L E E   C H A N

[angst] [exes]

Heartache is pouring out my regrets out on stage, knowing you’ll never see it.

Chan doesn’t know why he’s feeling this way, this minute, this song.

But he is.

It’s trainee evaluation day; his focus should be unwavering.

Yet, as he takes his spot with the other three trainees, he feels that familiar wave of regret bowl his heart over.

His memories of you flash through his head as he lowers it, waiting for the music to play.

Those memories are bowling pins in his mind, one toppling into another and that pin into another—

And Chan, being who he is, aims for a strike every single time.

“It’s alright you cancelled today—I know being a trainee leaves you no time.”

“I’m sorry. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

The first one always falls, and then the next.

“I understand. It’ll be worth it when you make it to the big stage.”

“Only if you’re in the front row.”

“Talk soon.”

“Talk soon.”

The second pin rushes into the third.

“I have to go in a minute. But you were trying to tell me?”

“It’s… no, it’s nothing, babe. Dance good. And… maybe—call me soon?”

“I promise I’ll call right after.”

And the next ones always fall much faster.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call last night. We were all so exhausted, and I just couldn’t deal with y—”

He stops himself in time, but the damage is done.

“You just couldn’t deal with me? Well, you know what, Lee Chan. Maybe right now I can’t deal with you.”

And then they all fall indiscriminately, until the last few are teetering, wobbling...

The music plays, and muscle memory sweeps Chan’s body away into the choreography.

“No, Chan, you don’t need to apologize. I understand exactly how we stand. I really do believe you, don’t worry about that. You like me, but not as much as yourself! And your ‘dreams.’ I understand completely.” Your voice is a both a cry and a hiss by now. “You’re really selfish sometimes, you know that?”

...And the last one falls.

“Chan, your lyrics are really... “

“Are they that bad?”

“No—not bad… Just, well… Heavy. For someone your age.”

“It’s a heavy topic, hyung.”

“True.”

“So, can we use them for the evaluation?”

“No. They’ll be wanting something lighthearted for that. But…”

“But.”

“I’ll hold onto these, if you don’t mind. We can use them on an album someday.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“No, really! They’re good lyrics.”

“No, uh… That wasn’t what I meant! It’s just…”

“Are they too personal? You don’t want them in the world?”

“Sort of.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, it’s decided then. We won’t use them.”

“Thanks, hyung.”

“What, you’re leaving? Don’t you at least want these back, if they’re so personal?”

“...No, that’s alright. I… I—just, can you keep them for me? I don’t want them again. Ever.”

“Hey, I—”

“Please.”

“You wrote ‘I’m sorry,’ nineteen times. Not to pull the responsible hyung card on you, but I feel like this isn’t something you can… keep away from yourself. For forever.”

“I know. I’m working on it.”

“Okay then.”

“Thanks for everything, hyung.”

“Sure.”

“I’ll just go now.”

“Okay…. Uh… Actually, Chan?”

“What?”

“Just remember that, even if… Even because you’ve messed up before... Just know that doesn’t mean you’re that person for forever. I don’t know if you can make up for whatever happened. But you’re not… ‘stuck on this tear-stained road, for ever. You’re a good kid.”

“Are you going after sappy hyung role, now?”

“You can talk to us if you’re not feeling okay.”

“Thank you, hyung. I’ll get out of your hair now.”

“Chan!”

The song ends. The dance resolves with a final swoop of the arm. And Chan’s heart hurts a little.

“That was really good,” someone whispers.

“For real, I got chills.”

“Chan-ie, are you crying?” one of his hyungs asks. He touches his face; he is. “Are you okay?”

“I will be,” he feels himself reply.

Hey, Y/N. I’m sorry if this is the last thing you want to see. Hell, you might have me blocked, and honestly, a better me would hope you do. Anyways, I needed to get off my chest how sorry I am. I’m not going to try to explain myself. But I needed to try to let you know that I understand what I did was selfish. And that I shouldn’t have let us continue like that for so long….

Five years later, Chan will perform a solo at a concert.

Thematically, there’s a lot going on. And the lyrics say sorry a lot of times.

The fandom wonders what inspired the lyrics.

Chan doesn’t cry when he performs it.

The ending of the song isn’t happy, but it does resolve. The sad chord makes any listener feel a little bittersweet, though.

And, from the front row, one ticket remains unclaimed.

—T H A N K   Y O U   F O R   R E A D I N G!

If any of these touched you in particular, please leave me an ask or rb! I really appreciate any feedback. Have a great day!!

[sweetiejunie]

Who’s There?

Summary: it was early in the morning yet someone was in the library with you

Genre: smut

Yeonjun x reader

Noted: to the anon that requested this. So this turned out to be more of shy boy!yeonjun rather than sub!yeonjun so ill probably attempt to write another sub concept for him :’)

=====================================

It was a quiet day in the library. Well, it was 9am on a school day so what did you expect? Everone had already gone for their lessons.

In case you hadn’t figured it out, you were skipping your class.

You always despised your lecturer for that class. He was rude and insulting towards his student, you could list more things but i dont have all day to type all of it out.

All in all, that’s how you ended up in the deafening silent library on a monday morning, smell of old books surrounding you. Dressed in a cute floral wrap dress as you aiminglessly roamed the shelves, hands grazing across the books, waiting for a title to catch your interest.

You didn’t want to address it but, as you had been walking around you felt a pair of eyes on you, which felt strange since you figured no one else would be here.

“Who’s there?”

No answer. Thinking it was just your imagination, you chose to ignore it and continued on your quest.

After some time of wandering around, you wanted to give up on finding something to read when you came across the title ‘the map of time’. A thrilling melodrama of a man who could travel back in time.

Picking the book from the shelf, you found a nice, cozy couch next to a row of windows, claimed it and started reading. As if there was anyone else there to fight for it with you.

It was quite an interesting book if you had to admit. You would have been completely engrossed in it if it weren’t for that strange sensation of the same pair of eyes from before still watching you. Wanting to catch the culprit you jerked your head up, catching a glimpse of someone’s hair before it disappeared behind a shelf. The biggest clue you got was that the hair was blue, and immediately you knew who it belonged to. Of course it could only have been that boy, choi yeonjun.

You found out about his little crush on you from your tattletale of a friend Beomgyu. You never thought much of it but after that you started to pay more attention to yeonjun. You didn’t have a chance to see him very often but you had started to realise that he may have caught your interest too.

Yeonjun was a carefree boy that everyone thought to be full of confidence but never dared say two words to you and that you admittedly said to be cute. You never really confronted or teased yeonjun about this before so you figured, why not today?

You put your book down, you walked towards the shelf you last saw him at. Looking at his reflection in the window, you saw how he was leaning against the shelf, hands to heart, eyes wide, catching his breath as if he was just caugh red handed, which he was. You silently chuckled at his reaction and continued walking towards him.

Poking your head around the corner, you greeted him, “hello.”

Yeonjun jumped, making you laugh as you walked forward so you were in full view in front of him.

“Sorry, i didnt mean to scare you.”

He nodded, not saying anything as he tried to compose himself after the shock.

“So what are you doing here? Don’t you have class?” You asked, not wanting to immediately point out the fact you caught him creeping on you.

“Oh- i er... my class was cancelled,” he answered simply.

Humming a response you continued, “so care to explain why you were watching me?”

You already knew the answer but yeonjun’s face turn a bright pink as he avoided eye contact was something worth seeing. You smirked as you watched him struggle for an answer.

“I... I... I’m sorry, i didnt mean to. I was just-” he stumbled out.

You kept quiet for a while, loving the sight of the embarassed boy that everyone thought to be ‘mr. Confident’. Oh, this was going to be fun.

“It’s okay. But you know, i heard from someone that you have a crush on me. Is that true?”

Yeonjun chocked at your sudden question. Mouth hung open at a lose for words.

“Cause you know,” you took a step close to him, grabbing his hands placing them around your waist, keeping your hands on his.

Watching how yeonjun physically looked like he was about to break down, leaning in closer before continuing, “if it was true, i would admit that I’m interested in you too.”

Yeonjun’s eyes were blown wide open at your sudden confession, face and ears a bright shade of red. You took a half step back, smirking at him before held the back of his neck, lips landing on his.

It was a gentle kiss at first. But that only lasted until yeonjun had left his dazed, flustered state and processed what was happening. His grip around your waist tightened while one of his hands wandered to your cheek, holding your face in place. You took this as a sign to deepen the kiss.

Your hands glided down to his chest, his stomach, and back up, admiring his toned figure through his shirt. Whimpering slightly when you felt him flex under your touch as one of your hands travelled further down.

You broke the kiss to speak, earning a whine from the boy.

“Does baby boy like it when i touch him?” A devilish smirk plastered actoss your face, you hand ghosting over the slight bulge in his jeans.

“Do you want me, yeonjun? You still havent answered if the rumour is true that you like me. I need an answer before i can do anything,” your eyes fluttering down to your hand then back up to his face suggestively as you bit your lip.

Once again, your actions left yeonjun a flustered mess and all he managed to choke out was a measly, “yes.”

“Yes to which question baby?”

“Yes to everything. I like you and i want yo- no, i need you,” he let out in one breathe.

That was all the confirmation you needed for hand to start massaging him through his tight jeans, that you could only imagining getting more uncomfortable by the second.

Yeonjun moaned at the contact, causing you to tsk.

“You have to be quiet my baby. There’s no one here but we’re still in a library afterall, the librarian’s still here and there are still rules. Can you do that for me?” you whispered into his ear, breath tickling his skin.

Mouth shut in a straight line, yeonjun frantically nodded at your request, desperate for more.

“Good boy,” you praised as you leaned in to kiss him again, hands working on his belt, unzipping his jeans and bringing his hard member out from his briefs.

This time the kiss was needy and hungry as you felt his member press against your lower stomach. You felt yeonjun’s hands move down your waist, to your hips, stopping at your bottom. Squeezing lightly, cueing you to wrap your arms around his neck and jump, straddling his waist.

He walked you forward until your back hit the opposite shelf, not breaking the kiss a single time. And just your luck, it had to be the literature shelf.

You thanked whatever braincell of yours decided to put on a dress that morning and preyed Shakespeare will never see your crude behaviour disrespecting his books. But then again he did write Romeo and Juliet.

One of your hands slipped down between your bodies, taking yeonjun’s throbbing cock in your hands as you started pumping him, spreading his precum, using it as lubricant. He moaned into the kiss causing your core ached from need.

“Yeonjun,” you whined.

And as if through telepathy, he knew exactly what you wanted. Hooking his arm under your tigh, he moved your panties to the side as you guided him inside you.

You both let out soft moans at the sensation as yeonjun slid further in you, his length stretching you out deliciously.

“Move baby boy.”

His thrusts were slow at first, being mindful of the amount of noise you were making. The possibility of the librarian discovering the two of you just added to the thrill.

“Fuck yeonjun, you can go faster than that,” you moaned, planting kisses down his neck, holding on to him for dear life.

That was the first time yeonjun heard you say his name that way and he had to admit- he loved the way it rolled off your tongue. His thrusts got faster and harder, letting out a low groan every now and then at the way you tigthened around him.

With each snap of his hip, he hit that sweet spot inside you. With each thrust, you felt your lower back hit the shelf behind you and you knew that if anyone were near enough, there was no way you would have got away with this.

As you approached your high, you he was as well as his actions got sloppier.

“Jun-i i want you to cum inside me,” you managed to let let out between moans.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, it’s alright. I can take the pill,” burrying your face in the crook of his neck as this thursts got harder, chasing his high.

With a few more thurst he came undone. The feeling of his warm seed in you trigerring your own high. You both stayed like that for a while as you caught your breath.

“I really like you y/n,” he suddenly admitted.

His confession caused you to giggle, “well, i would hope so. Considering the fact you’re still in me right now.” Nodding your head, gesturing to the srea where you were still connected.

“Ri- right, sorry,” he apologised, face red as he slid his softened member out.

He put you down gently, holding on to you until he was sure you wouldn’t fall. After you both had made yourselves presentable again, he rested his forehead against yours.

“Shall we get to class? For once I’m glad we’re in the same lecture hall,” he whispered before gradding your hand, leading the way.

.

.

.

=====================================

So not rly a sub!yeonjun so ill be writing another one soon. If u have other requests, send them in and ill see what i come up with 😚 hope you liked this!

Masterlist

[svtskneecaps]

There was a list of things you had been expecting from today. Jun proposing did not even make the top 100.

And yet here you were, sitting on a bench outside a Walmart, fidgeting, very aware of Seokmin filming from behind a nearby bush.

“You know,” Jun said, “we’ve been dating for six years now.”

“Yes?” You looked at him, trying to mimic the face of someone who’d been in a healthy relationship for six years.

“I was thinking. . .” He took your hand. You tried to pretend the fluttering in your stomach was from your excellent acting skills. “Maybe we take it to the next step?”

You touched your free hand to your mouth. “Jun. . . what are you saying?”

He took his phone from his pocket and pressed play. Jihoon’s speaker began to blast that one ‘stuck like glue’ song that had played at your cousin’s wedding, drawing attention from around the parking lot.

“Our song,” you said loudly, trying not to look away from him, or to let on how afraid you were of the eyes.

“Y/N right from the moment we met in that Chuck ‘E Cheese, I knew you were the one,” he declared loudly. “I. . . I want to make it official!”

He slid off the bench and down on one knee, taking out the ring pop a bank teller had given Seokmin when he asked her when the local midsummer festival was and followed it up with, ‘How else do you please the gods?’.

“Y/N,” Jun said, looking up at you (and your heart pounded because wow he was a good actor, how did he fake the love in his eyes so well?), “will you marry me?”

If the tears in your eyes were more real than you were willing to admit, you were the only one to know. “Yes!” you choked out. He beamed and it was like the sun itself had settled onto his features. He slid the ring pop ceremoniously onto your finger and then pulled you into a hug. You closed your eyes so you didn’t have to see the other people in the parking lot.

A couple people clapped. One older couple came up and congratulated you on your ‘engagement’. You could feel the heat in your face like Jun’s smile had given you a sunburn as you thanked them and made up something about a spring wedding on the spot. Behind them, waiting by the car, you could see Jihoon laughing.

“If you’re not careful I’ll make you propose next,” you threatened as you all climbed into the car for the next item on the checklist.

“We only get points for doing it once, and Seokmin didn’t laugh so we don’t need another take.” He clipped his seatbelt on.

“I did ‘aww’ though, does that count?” Seokmin asked.

“No, the rules just say no laughing.” Jun checked the list. “Alright, Jihoon you’re walking through a Burger King drive thru and asking for a Happy Meal.”

He groaned. “Why me?”

“Cashiers like you.” Jun glanced into the backseat. “Also, you laughed at my fiancée.” (you pretended you weren’t flustered by that).

“We should find another ring pop just to make it official,” Seokmin said cheerfully.

“There is a Burger King next to a U-Stop on North 56th street,” your phone offered helpfully, speaking for your ears alone.

“I know a Burger King with a gas station by it; we can pick one out while Jihoon’s embarrassing himself,” you said, hoping nothing was showing on your face.

And Jun grinned at you, and you almost forgot which pedal was the brake. He would be the death of you. You were sure.

(you weren’t sure you minded that sort of death, though)

-------------

Walls Could Talk Part 22 ~ I COULD PROPOSE

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(Seventeen Fic, Superpower! Non-Idol! High school! AU)

You’re just a high school kid trying to survive your senior year. Seems simple enough. Problem is, you landed a major crush on a good looking transfer student, and unfortunately, the both of you are hiding some abilities that are a bit less than normal, and there’s a ghost you thought you buried in your past that’s rearing his ugly head. So… maybe this won’t be as easy as you were hoping.

hey. tumblr took away their line tool so i still haven’t picked a style for text separation. probably i should make a neat looking line photo like i’ve seen some people do. maybe someday.

anyway, thanks for your patience; i know i keep missing updates by a couple hours. i’d like to say it was for school but nah. after years of playing only lego harry potter years 1-4 we have years 5-7 so i was playing that yesterday and then time became fake so i missed the update. so thanks for being neat and facilitating my return to childhood. hope you enjoyed.

[ipurpleyou1993]

My thoughts on:

Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung

Starring: Cha Eun Woo/Shin Se Kyung/Lee Ji Hoon/ Park Ki Woong

- Stand up for what you believe in. I think this is very important. People usually take advantage of those who are weak. So make your stand - especially if your boundaries and rights are being poked.

- Sometimes, being different is okay. Averting the community's standards is okay too. Why be like everybody else when you can be yourself?

We do not have to compromise our identity to match other people's standards. ✅😊💯

- Let us be each other’s support system. Let us value encouragement over discouragement. If someone wants to sing/dance/act/write, let them. Let them find what they are passionate about and support them.

Encouragement and kindness are free.

- Equality has come a long way. 👍🏻

The series is set during the Joseon Era where the status of women depended on who they marry. They are practically born to serve men during this time. So, I’ve come to appreciate the liberties we have now more than ever.

- Do your part. Do not be afraid when you are just doing what you are supposed to do.

- Adapt to the changing times. Change is the only thing that is constant. Let's all move forward with lessons from the past. 💜

- Wouldn't it be nice... if the world was Cadbury? Char! Hahahaha! Wouldn't it be nice if someone makes the decision to let go of everything just to be with you? #SanaAll

It may sound cliché but it's really romantic - how two persons can come together to achieve everything together. Wouldn't this really be nice? 😊❤️🥰

- Safe to say, no matter what era we are currently in, women make the world a better place. HAHAHAHA!

The Gist:

The series depicts the story of two young individuals who, despite being in different social classes, fell in love against all odds.

Shin Se Kyung plays the role of Goo Hae Ryung. She is a quirky young lady from a noble family who enjoys reading a lot. In saying so, she works as a book-reader to noble ladies in her neighborhood to earn money. Although, due to her book preferences, she always ends up not getting paid.

During this time, women tend to enjoy books about cringy love stories - most of which are written by “Maehwa”. Hae Ryung, on the other hand, prefers western literature which usually end depressingly. Hence, the no-payment scenario.

Little did everyone know, Maehwa is the pen name of Prince Dowon Yi Rim (played by Cha Eun Woo). He is the King’s son who lives at Nokseodang - the most secluded area in the palace - where he stays with a eunuch named Sam Bo and 2 young court ladies.

Naturally, as a kid who never left the palace, he is very innocent, naive and gentle. He found writing as a means to pass time inside the palace. Thus, the inspiration for the novels he usually writes are the secret love affairs of eunuchs and court ladies.

Digging deeper into the conflicts inside the palace, the king and his right-hand man decided to request the hiring of female historians. They meant to spy on the queen dowager who seems to be plotting against them behind their backs by doing so.

This move took a turn when the crown prince - Yi Jun - approved the plea on the condition that the female historians should take the civil service examination for government employees and that their involvement should not be limited to the queen dowager but to ALL members of the royal family.

A lot of controversy rose as females were not allowed to hold any position in the government during this time.

Hae Ryung and Yi Rim's story start to blossom here - when Goo Hae Ryung decides to ditch her arranged wedding to take the civil service examination to work inside the palace as a female historian.

They are set to an adventure of finding out their real identities and the people behind their past experiences.

The rest is for you to find out. So, watch this. It will be worth your time. 👍🏻💕

What I liked about the series:

- I love how unconventional the theme of this series is. Well, it's a gender bender type of story. The aggressiveness of the female lead and the innocence and naivety of the male lead is fun and fresh. ❤️💕😍 It makes the story more interesting since it's different from the traditional sageuk we are previously acquainted to. 👍🏻😊❤️

- I was thrilled when I found out that Cha Eun Woo was casted here as the male lead. I grew fond of him when I watched My ID is Gangnam Beauty. He's such an eyecandy! 😍😍😍

Of course, in relation to his outstanding visuals, we get to see a glimpse of his beautiful physique *wink wink*

On a serious note, what I liked about him in this series is that he has a very demure personality. Rarely do we get to see men in sagueks who are effeminate - mainly because historical dramas are very patriarchal in nature (IMO, ✌🏻).

I also liked how his character really transformed from this very innocent prince to a very mature potential king. The character growth was well-displayed so it was very satisfying to watch. ❤️😊😍

His acting is one to praise as well. I could say that he has improved a lot in the duration of the series. You might find this hard to believe in the beginning. But wait til you see him in the last few episodes. You'll get to appreciate his improvement more. 😊👍🏻💯

Aaaaand, may I just say, the term "Face Genius" really works for the man. Well, who wouldn't love this BB's face? TELL MEEEEE! 💕😂😊

- I was impressed with the acting skills of Shin Se Kyung here as well. The role of Goo Hae Ryung suits her! Her portrayal of the character was so on point that it actually came out naturally. Good job! 👍🏻👌🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I love how her character is so independent, responsible, intelligent, fun, aggressive (in a good way), lovable and just plain quirky with a sunshine-attitude. Like I said, I enjoyed seeing women do what is considered taboo in this particular era. It's something fun and interesting to watch. 💕😊👍🏻💯✅

In this day and age, I think we need more Goo Hae Ryung's in the world - someone who stands up for her rights; someone who is not afraid to do her part for the common good; someone who is not afraid of power; someone who does not bend over backwards for power; someone who is righteous and responsible.

Very few are blessed with this kind of courage. So, if you're one of these very few individuals, SALUTE!

Also, I love how she looks so elegant in a Hanbok. She's rocking the traditional outfit as if they were casual attires. No wonder she was part of the 2017 Hanbok PR Ambassadors. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

PO: I honestly think not all korean actresses look good in this traditional outfit. ✌🏻

- Their chemistry is 💯💕💕💕💕. They look good together. All their scenes made my heart flutter and skip a beat. 😍😍😍

- I like how the series tackled a bit about Christianity. There's this one scene that I really liked between Min U-won and another historian who was willing to let go of his position and to sacrifice his life for his religious belief.

I honestly appreciated my faith more because all this time (in my 26 years), I was and I am still reminded that all are equal - rich or poor - in the eyes of God. 💯😊✝️

- Friendship appreciation post: I loved how the friendship of the people in this series protected and cheered up each other.

It's always good to know that someone has your back - all the time. 😊✅💯

- Yo, I also loved the big reveal regarding the leads' identities. Goosebumps, everywhere! Especially...

SPOILER ALERT!

Especially when they confronted the king on the latter part of the series. Ooohweeee! Daebakkk!! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

- Storywise, it's good. 💯

It talks about love, forgiveness, friendship, faith, loyalty, dignity and responsibility.

Kudos to the team for a job well done! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Cons:

- Okay... I have to admit, I did find the acting skills of Cha Eun Woo a little mediocre at the beginning. It was as if he wasn't ready for the role...

Some of his facial reactions were either exaggerated or repetitive... ✌🏻

But, let me tell you this. Do not let this bother you. He's got something in store for you on the latter part of the series. Do watch. 👍🏻😊✅

- I was a bit sad too when I heard that Cha Eun Woo was paired with Shin Se Kyung. My first impression on Shin Se Kyung is not that good. I honestly thought that her acting skill is not that impressive (Personal opinion, friends ✌🏻)

I have watched her in The Bride of Habaek and I was quite disappointed. Same with The Girl Who Sees Scents. 😔

But then again, all more reason to watch this because she really showed off what she's capable of. I've come to love her here because her acting prowess was showcased beautifully! 💕👏🏻👍🏻

- Again with the villain predictability. One can say that this story has the usual sageuk villain. ✌🏻

Soundtrack:

Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung OST

My personal favorite is Fall in Luv by Henry. It's the first track in the link provided above. 👆🏻👆🏻

Highly recommended for those who want to stray from conventional dramas. This one's fun and really enjoyable! You won't regret it! 💯👍🏻😊

CTTO Photos/GIFs/Music

[noonachronicles]

A Little Red (7)

Kim Hanbin (B.I.)/ Kim Jiwon (Bobby)/ Koo Junhoe (June) X Reader

Genre - Werewolf A/U

Word Count - 2K

Warnings - Mature adult themes, aka smut.

A/N - For @memoiresofaneternaldreamer, @byunpupss, and the sweet anons who have all been so patient with me. Although I’ll never be convinced the anons aren’t just Sara trying to get me to post more....Also Idk why I’ve been so nervous to post this? Maybe it’s the smut or the general anticipation? Anyway, here goes nothing. 

Moodboard by @memoiresofaneternaldreamer

You woke with a start. Memories of a wolf dream you had still vivid in your mind. You realized quickly you weren’t in your sisters home, you were in Junhoe’s. You were in the tree, in the forest. The fire in the center of the room burning brilliantly as you rested comfortably on one of the cots.

“She lives.” Junhoe said from his writing desk. You looked over at him with a small smile. Quickly he turned back to his papers.

“How did I get I here?” You asked sitting up slowly, feeling dazed.

He shrugged, not even paying attention to whether or not you were watching him. “Beats me. You wandered in here hours ago, teeth chattering… delusional.”

“Delusional?”

You watched his back straighten but he still didn’t face you, “You kept going on about some wolf like a lunatic.”

“I thought it was a dream.” You sighed, “I must have imagined it all. I thought, no, it does seem silly…”

“You thought what?” He asked with a slightly peaked interest.

“I thought I was going to die out in the snow, I was so cold. I swear I saw the wolf that’s been protecting me.”

“Huh…you think a wolf has been protecting you?” You looked over to see him watching you but he quickly turned away again, still avoiding you it seemed. “That does seem silly. How are you feeling now?”

“I’m still a bit chilly.” You said wrapping the fur that had been over your legs tightly over your shoulders.

“Move closer to the fire now that you’re awake.” He mumbled absentmindedly, not even glancing up from his illustrations. Always so aloof

Leaning closer to the fire you looked over at him. In just his thin shirt and slacks. You wondered how he wasn’t freezing himself. “You can come join me if you’d like.”

“I’m not cold.” Junhoe responded simply, dismissing you once more. “Unlike you I wasn’t stupidly wandering through a snow storm.”

“I wasn’t stupidly wandering. I was coming to visit you.”

He sighed, “Why are you so obsessed with me?”

“I’m not obsessed. I was worried. I thought we’d become friends and then you abandoned me for this absurd solitude.” You argued.

“If you’re not obsessed with me, I take it to mean you’ll risk taking moronic death marches through snowstorms for anyone then?”

You let out your own long, exasperated sigh, “Why do you hate me? I don’t understand. Is it something I’ve done? Some memory you have of Louisa that you’ve projected onto me? Tell me, so I can fix it. It’s agonizing.”

You watched as he clutched his charcoal on his fist snapping it into two before dropping the pieces on the paper. “You are agonizing. This incessant need to be liked. Your voice which lingers in my head long after you’ve gone. I have suffered with thoughts of you since the day you came here. I was so happy alone, so content. Yet you refuse to let me be. I can’t even hide from you in a snowstorm. You’re relentless.”

Your heart sank slightly at this. He truly did hate you, despite all of your best efforts. You stood and moved to where he’d placed your cloak, hanging out to dry and pulled the bread you’d brought from the inside pocket. It was cold but the crust was still crunchy with enough give that you knew it would be soft in the center. You placed the small loaf on the desk and paused just behind him.

“I brought you bread. I hadn’t seen you in town since before the full moon. Hanbin said you were fine, but I wanted to make sure for myself. I thought you might be hungry out here...or lonely. Or I guess I was lonely, and I missed you, and you’re the only one I trust and I had so much to tell you. To ask about.” You said quietly observing the flames dancing in front of you. “I’m sorry for having bothered you. I promise not to do it again. And if you’ll let me just wait here until morning so I can make my way back by light of day, I promise I won’t say another word.”

There was a long moment of silence between you. The silence was palpable.

“God, you magnificent fool.” He groaned finally as he stood up, the chair dragging against the hard floor, and grabbed your wrist.

Before you could comprehend what he was talking about now he pulled you so that you turned into his chest, his free hand cupped your cheek and his lips pressed to yours roughly. When he pulled away and you’re eyes finally fluttered open all you could do was stare.

He grinned down at the enchantment in your eyes as you looked at him. Pushing your hair out of your face he kissed you again, lightly this time. “My clueless little lamb. I don’t hate you, I care about you very much. Only…I find it frustrating.”

“You don’t hate me?” You asked, still steps behind him, curling your fingers into his shirt.

“I wish I could. I usually find hating people easy but with you, it’s impossible.” He smiled as your face started to show recognition. “I like you. I want to spend time with you. I want to be there for you, to protect you. I can’t be around...the people you spend your time with, and I would never ask you to not be friends with him-them just for me.”

A heat was brewing in your belly as you looked up at him. His arms wrapped tightly around you, your bodies pressed together. Your heart was pounding madly in your chest in anticipation of more as he confessed to you.

“Kiss me again.” You requested quietly. It seemed foolish to talk when you couldn’t comprehend a thing passed his lips.  “Everything else we can discuss later, but right now…I need you to kiss me.”

“You don’t know what you’re asking.” He said nipping at your lips.

Lifting your hand up to his face you ran your fingers through his hair, “I think I have an idea.”

Junhoe ran his hands up your sides, lifting your arms over his shoulders. He sucked your lips between his until you moaned into his mouth. His tongue demanded entrance to your mouth and took command of your own. Dropping his hands to your waist he pulled you up so that your legs were wrapped around him.

He seemed unbothered by the weight of having to hold you up, as you ran your hands through his hair, tugging at his lip with your teeth. You moaned into the kiss again and he carried you to the cot you’d woken up on. His rough kisses moved from your mouth to your neck allowing you to pant out heavy breathes. He tore your dress open quickly and unforgiving. You gasped, your breasts being freed from your corset.

Your hands moved swiftly, untucking his shirt from his pants and pulling it up over his head. His body was warm, and muscular, he was truly a vision before you. Holding himself up with one arm the other pulled your skirt up around your hips. His fingers tracing the cool smooth skin of your thighs.

“So warm.” He mumbled sucking harshly on the skin of your neck. You trembled beneath him as his fingers found your aching core.

He was right, you clearly had no idea what you’d asked for. Your hands tugged at his hair and ran over his back. His mouth continued to suck and nip at your breasts. Your nipples raised and teased in a way that they never had been by a man before. All the while his fingers exploring deep inside of you. Your hips rolled forward wanting more of him as your moans and cries grew louder and more steady.

You whimpered slightly as he continued to tease you. “Jun, it’s too much.”

“Oh, y/n.” He said leaving light kisses against your collar bone. His hands moving from under your skirt to your hips, “We’ve only just begun.”

He was not your first lover but the way he treated you, tending to every part of you, he was already your best. As he looked down at you, you realized his usual dark eyes were glowing a familiar gold. He pushed himself off of you, the lack of his warmth was noticeable, and you began to crave it. Wordlessly he untied his pants, your teeth tugged on your lip as he stood before you exposed. You clamored to your knees on top of the cot and wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

“I’ve never seen you look so hungry before.” he whispered against your lips as you dragged him down onto the cot with you.

“I’m starving.” you panted. You pulled your lengthy skirt around your waist and straddled his naked lap.

His hands were tight on your hips as you sunk down onto him.  

“You feel so good,” you moaned graciously.

“You feel even better.”

He stared at you as your hips circled his lap, his hands acting only as a guide to your movements. Your chest heaved under his mouth as he kissed your sweat glistening flesh. Your groans of pleasure only disturbed by the crackling fire and the creak of the old cot.

“So beautiful.” he murmured, your eyes were closed as you felt the edges of your climax, and the way he praised you only pushed you further. 

Your thighs trembled beneath you, unable to take too much more of him. Luckily for you, you came. Junhoe was not quite finished. He lifted you, still around his waist, and flipped you so that you were on your back, beneath him once more. Your hands explored the expansion of his back and shoulders. His now damp hair brushed against your forehead. You couldn’t stop your lips from capturing his once more. When his hips sputtered to a halt, and he kissed your neck gently, you knew he was done. Finally exhausted as well he collapsed beside you onto the comfort of the cot. He wrapped an arm loosely around your hip and you tucked into the warmth of him. After a content sigh you were quickly back to sleep.

When you woke up again Junhoe was asleep beside you. One arm behind his head and the other trapped beneath yours. Sighing deeply you looked over his naked body, glowing in the light of the still burning fire. Your fingers roamed his shoulders and chest and stomach, The softness of his skin, the way it stretched tightly over his muscles. The sensitive pads of your fingertips were able to catch the subtle scaring all over his body.

Curious you leaned closer. Thin white scars covered his torso. Some like scrapes others looked like holes, bite marks. Your heart fell wondering what horrors he must have been through, then it nearly stopped beating all together when you remembered your sisters little red journal, the way she had described Hanbin. When you looked back up at his face he was watching you, his eyes dark once more.

“Did you sleep well?” You asked leaning back into him and leaving a kiss on his sharp jaw.

“You’re not going to ask?” He replied.

“Ask what?”

“Where they came from.”

You shook your head no. “If you want to tell me you will, but I won’t make you open up about something private.”

“You know, y/n. You’re clueless about some things but not this.” He sighed, frustrated. “Think about it. You know the answers, they’ve all but been handed to you.”

“What do you want me to say?” You asked wrapping your arms tighter around him, afraid that he might run away from you. Surprised with yourself that what you feared wasn’t what you knew. Instead it was that the monster in your bed might disappear. “Do you want me to say I know? That I know what you are? That I know where all these scars came from? Of course I’m not stupid, Junhoe! I just don’t...I don’t understand how something so insane could make so much sense.”

“Just tell me that you know and that you can still trust me.” He said running a rough hand through your hair and over your bare back.

“You’re a werewolf.” You said quietly against his shoulder. “You’re the wolf with brown muzzle. You saved my life... more than once. I trust you.”

[sebongie-loves]

soulmate!scoups

SEUNGCHEOL BB IS SICK I HOPE HE WILL FEEL BETTER SOON OMG SADFES

enjoy! < 3 

your soulmate and you have the same heartbeats

when you were a child, your parents teach you the concept of soulmates 

and you immidiately realized what’s connection you have with your soulmate 

idk is this weirder than jun’s????

it’s tough to have this kind of sign because you cannot just go and touch someone’s wrist/neck/chest like randomly right

BUT

here’s a thing, heartbeats are crucial for a person to live

and it reflects on the person’s activities and emotion??

so when seungcheol goes to the gym for his daily excercises, your heartbeat went super fast and you’re sweating like crazy

the good thing is you don’t really need to go excercise because seungcheol makes you and himself to excercise

unfortunately sometimes he overdo himself so you feel weak at some points but good thing you still alive

“i tHINK MY SOULMATE TRIES TO KILL ME I SWEAR I’LL BE THE ONE THAT KILL HIM WHEN WE MET”

“but you would die too if you kill him”

“oh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, shit”

you know when someone says this cheesy line on dramas? like, “i will die if you leave me!!!!!!”

it might happens to you and your unknown soulmates lmao

you can feel his sadness 

it’s not making you sad but it alarms you

“what happened to him?”

and eventually it makes you sad and worried as well so yeah

seungcheol in the other hand is grateful 

having your heartbeats sometimes cheers him up

it relaxes him 

helps him with writing lyrics and so on 

since he does it mostly late at night and you are sleeping so your heartbeats become slower and soothing

when you are happy, he is happy because you’re happy

such on

he knows the nightmares you have since it also wakes him up

seungcheol will comfort himself and it’d be easier for you to be calm after a nightmare 

he just wants the best for his soulmate lmao

he also knew your panic attacks, anxiety, like, literally everything 

seungcheol will take care of his emotion and stay away from negativity for your sake 

everytime the group has a sad and gloomy discussion he’d be like “HEY LET’S NOT BE SAD AND DARK LIKE THIS”

despite everything, seungcheol has a dream

which is to be an idol

he works his hardest and he dances like crazy

he raps as well

so one day, after dancing his heart beats so fast

after rapping his part, his heart also beats quite fast

you wonder what is he doing

since it goes by for a couple years until now

he debuted under the name ‘s.coups’ in seventeen

you, in the different circumstances, were confused why he got super nervous during his debut stage

nothing made sense at that time

how do you two meet?

okay, 

you always been familiar with seventeen, or kpop in general

you’re a fan, a big fan even

bUT YOUR BIAS ISN’T SCOUPS 

IT’S WONWOO AHAHAHA

but it doesn’t mean you didn’t feel tingly inside when you first see scoups tho

one day, you and a couple of your friends decided to go to a music shows that have a bunch of idols including seventeen

you’re extremely excited 

and seungcheol feels it and it makes him happy

so when they got to perform their song very nice hucjdkxsgvcxshj

he shoots the most beautiful and enticing smiles 

yOUR HEART SKIPS A BEAT

AND SO DOES HIS

since you’ve been a fans, this is the first time you ever met the guys irl

and sCOUPS SNATCHED YOU FROM WONWOO LIKE BYE

one tiny detail that you didn’t realize is the red string tattoo in your pinky finger

and you realize when you came home

“oh sHOOT I DIDNT KNOW WHO’S MY SOULMATE”

good luck with that, mate

you’re panicking and sO DOES SEUNGCHEOL

HE GOES AROUND THE DORM SCREAMING

“I THINK I MET MY SOULMATE BUT IDK WHO IS THEM I-”

he is sad

you are sad

two of you are super sad

after a couple minutes, after finally calming down

you two have the same idea in you two’s head

let’s just wait until it’s our fate to meet

during your birthday, your friends got you a slot to seventeen’s fansign 

you’re losing your shit and you are so happy!!!!!

at last you meet them face to face 

meeting scoups!!

so scoups is the last one the line 

you met wonwoo and you almost got snatched back 

when finally it’s your turn to be with scoups

scoups be looking at you like he’s looking at an angel

“you’re so pretty!”

it is his first words

it makes your heartbeats 2x faster

and so does seungcheol’s

“thank you!”

he locks his hand with you and notices your tattoo on your pinky fingers

“you met your soulmate?”

“yes but idk who he is??”

“what”

“i met him during your concert and i don’t know who he is!! we shares the same heart beats”

....................... o h s H I T

scoups takes your hand and put it on his chest 

and he puts his hand on your neck

it’s official y’all 

he is your soulmate and you are his!!

your eyes widen and your heart flutters so much 

seungcheol could fell the whole zoo in his stomach

but he got to work fast since you two still in fansign so he called his manager and asks you to follow the manager

you two met backstage 

you can’t believe your soulmate is your own idol!!!

but it is and he is real

“i can’t believe you are real.”

“me too”

“hey why you excercise alot?????????????? yOU ALMOST KILLED ME”

seungcheol is taken back but l a u g h

 “i’m sorry babe”

...................................................................................

your heart skips a couple beats and so does his

anyway, he brought you to the front of the fanmeet to meet all of his carats because he says, “they deserve to know and they’d like you!”

so they do and you two date openly i mean there is nothing you can do when the fate says so

then after that you and scoups often found to be near the han river, talking about stuffs

seungcheol is an interesting sweet guy 

he always said how he fell for you at the first sight

how he doesn’t want you to be sad or mad or insecure or anxious 

he wants all of the nice things in the world for you

heck he even would take a star for you but he cant so hoshi is all you got 

he wraps his arms around your waist or shoulder

basically the clingiest and the cutest soulmate ever

whispers in your ear

“i love you,,,, but can you excercise in exchange”

then got slapped on his arms and laughs

“no seriously, i’m in love with you. thank you.”

thank you for reading! 

[lovelycheollie]

Equally, Just Like Him (Jun)

“It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald

Words: 2545

SEJUN=JUN’S CHILD

Hello everyone! This a requested made by an anon, and I personally had fun writing it. Somehow I was motivated and stuff and I imagined how adorable it might be. Anyway! Please be reminded that Sejun is the name of Jun's child for this one idk I wanted to use Jun's name for the child's name as well

I hope you like it!

"Jun," you mumbled under your breath, eyes still closed and dozing within the covers. Your body shifted to the side as Jun stepped out of the bathroom with only a towel covering his lower torso. He rested his sight on your slumbering state. His hair was damp from the morning shower, droplets sliding on his nape one at a time and his skin smelling like jasmine with a musky touch in it. A warm smile grew on him as he walked closer to the bed and palmed your face.

"Hey, Y/N wake up," he whispered to your ear, making your shoulders jerk a little from the tickling sensation. But you didn't budge, instead you continued to dance with him in wonderland.

"Wake up sweetie."

"Ssh, it's too early to get out of bed," you replied with a falling tone on the end and covered your face with another pillow. Jun was sure you weren't in your usual self yet, and he was very fascinated by it.

"Too early? It's 8:25 Y/N."

Shocked upon hearing the time, you rose, sitting straight with bed-ridden hair and grabbed the alarm clock on the night stand. 8:25, he was right, and it was the horrible truth.

You heard him chuckle as you rushed to fix your bed and lock yourself in the bathroom. You had no time to scold him and ask about his laughing fit. "What's the rush for sweetie?"

"I have to drive our son to your mom's house by 9:00!" You grabbed the knob, opened the medicine cabinet and eyed its contents. You took out the tube of minty toothpaste and toothbrush and busied yourself with thoughts. One minute to brush, thirty second to rinse, then two minutes to wash your face, it'll be fine.

Jun calmly opened the closet door and strolled inside to see what he could wear on the fanmeet today. He was humming with rhythm on his feet, and the grin on his cheeks never faded as he took out a dark blue turtleneck shirt and black oversized coat. He knew you'd swoon on your toes at the sight of him wearing such, just like how you did when he kneeled in front of you.

"Is Sejun awake? Please, at least tell me you woke him up," you cried as you rinsed the foam off on your face. Your silk shirt became heavy as water seeped into it, and some of your hair got wet as well. You cursed in a very soft manner, grabbed the hair blower in the drawer and styled your hair into natural waves.

"He's awake, I served him a bowl of cereal and milk, toast on the side. He's probably watching some cartoons downstairs," a snicker echoed outside the bathroom once more. "But seriously, how can you oversleep on the day you'll visit mom?"

The door opened to the side, exposing a somehow fresher version of you in curls and in wet silk. You dashed forward to him, and Jun prepared himself for the worst. Your sight was away from him though, you were scanning the closet for decent clothes. Luckily for you, the white long sleeves and black pair of slacks were still available for today.

As you were to step outside the walk-in closet, Jun blocked the doorway, extending his arms right to the other side. "You shall not pass!"

"Good reference, but I'm in a hurry, so move aside."

"Nope, nuh-uh. You're not passing Y/N."

"Jun, come on! I have to leave before 9."

His fingers pointed at his right cheek as his face went closer to you. He winked, and like the fangirl you were, your heart took a leap and your cheeks were blossoming with a bright shade of red. "Give me a kiss first. You're my wife after all. Care to give a farewell kiss before I hit the road."

"What? Oh, right. You're having a fanmeet today. What time is it again?"

"What's up with you and the time? It's 10:30 a.m. but I have to meet up with the others by 9:30, so I should go, but I can't."

"And why is that?"

He pointed to his cheek once more, putting emphasis with the look on his eyes and the pout on his lips. Jun was clever. Charming. Cleverly charming, and all you could do was roll your eyes and plant your lips on him. As soon as you did, he was beaming with joy, his smile was a virus and it lightened up your mood.

Remembering the state you were in, your dearest husband moved to the side to make way for his beloved wife. The two of you were a couple of smiling idiots, him helping you out with your accessories and leaning for a kiss as he bid his goodbye.

So you went downstairs, your attention in a sweet trance as your heels clicked on the wooden floor. The red handbag dangled on your arms while you strolled to the living room. Your son Sejun was sitting in the middle of the sofa, in his striped shirt and pants, together with the stuffed panda his father gave him last night. He was the spitting image of Jun, and you loved them both equally.

His ears perked up as you went nearer to his side. His small head turned, and the straight, curious look turned into the warmest smile you've ever seen. The kid bounced up and down, showing you that he was ready for today's adventure.

"Mama, mama! We're going to grandma's house today right?" He said between breaths as you turned the TV off and sat across him. You settled the empty glass and bowl on the tray and walked towards the kitchen. Your child trailed from behind, still holding on the stuffed toy.

"Yes Sejun. I see you finished your breakfast. I'm proud of you."

He then showered you with his loving grin, the smile glittering with the rows of his pearly whites. "You should eat too mama."

"Oh I ate already Sejun, now hold mama's hand. We're leaving now,"you told him and he obeyed. His little hand rested on your own, walking to the garage as the maid opened the gates for you. Sejun climbed to the back, his 6 year-old self wearing the seatbelt on his own while staring at your reflection.

You turned to your wristwatch, 8:45 a.m., you still had 15 minutes to spare. You thanked the heavens for giving you some time, and your husband as well for waking you up that early. The car's engine hummed in the hushed state of the morning, and soon the two of you were driving on the main road.

Seventeen's music was showcased in the morning radio as your child listened attentively and looked at the passing scenery outside. Sejun's gaze fell on the empty passenger's seat in front, then to you. "Mama, where is papa?"

"Oh, well, he has to be with your uncles for today. They're meeting their fans."

"Fans? The one that papa calls carats?"

"Yes Sejun, and he has to spend a day with them since they are his friends."

"Oh, can we go too? I want to see papa and the carats!" You took a glimpse of your child on the mirror and back to the road again.

"Sejun, papa is going to be busy today. Plus grandma is waiting for us-" a ringtone excused itself within the talk and you figured that your mother-in-law was trying to reach you. Your thumb pressed answer and turned it to speaker mode.

"Hello?"

"Yes mom, it's me Y/N. I'm with Sejun now, we're on our way."

"Oh my, where are you?"

"In the main road, why mom?"

You heard some sighs on the end of the line. "I have to cancel today's plans. I have to go to the mall and buy some furniture because this dog of mine tore some leather again. I'm so sorry dear."

"It's okay mom," you looked at your son once more. He wore a sad pout on his lips, eyes a little bit teary and all. You knew that look very well from a certain man, and he just had to pass it on to his son. "Sejun wanted to go and visit someone today anyway."

"I see, then we'll just see each other around some other time. Goodbye Y/N, take care."

"Yes mom, see you soon," as you pressed the red button on the screen, you drove to the nearest u-turn and turned to your son's delight. The sparkle on his eyes appeared again, the kid turning into a whirligig of energy.

"Mama, are we going to see papa?"

"Yes Sejun, but first we have to make a short stopover."

The thirteen men sat on the edge of their seats, smiles plastered on them and giggles were heard here and there. They were dancing and singing together at the center hours ago, showing off their talent, laughing together with the fans and making them giddy and excited. The hall was filled with melody and stunning visuals as the relationship between Seventeen and carats bloomed.

They took a breather from the fun-filled chaos for an hour and filled their stomachs, giving them enough energy to last for the whole afternoon. Soon, they were back to the front again, sitting in one line and holding on to their markers to greet their loyal fans.

Jun was the first in line since it was his job to properly thank the carats, or he believed that it was his task. His grip on the marker was firm, grinning and pleasing every carat with his soothing yet sexy voice. The glitter in his eyes never wavered as he wrote his messages and posed for the cameras. He was a professional at these kinds of things. He'd send them off to the next member beside him, aiding them while holding their hands like how a prince would. But he figured that if you were there, he'd never let you off with the others.

As he thanked and guided the fan to Wonwoo who sat beside him, a little boy wearing a Jun headband presented their album and gave him a box of his favorite doughnut. What made Jun's heart flutter more was when he learned that the kid was no other than his own little Sejun. His eyes became watery as he looked lovingly to his son. The kid was on the tip of his toes, offering the album with a grin, just like his father's. "Hello papa!"

"Sejun! Is this for me?"

"Yes it is. Please sign this album for mama!"

"What are you doing here?"

"Well," he shifted his foot to the back of his other leg and fiddled with his stuffed toy. "Grandma had to go somewhere today, so I asked mama if we could come and visit you!"

"Where is mama?" He motioned his hands in a way to tell his son to come to him. Sejun followed his father, and was awarded by letting him sit on his lap as he signed the album. Fans were head-over-heels with the duo, squealing and taking pictures of the two. The fansite noonas focused their lenses to the young boy and his father who took their sweet time.

The kid then pointed at the far back of the crowd, directly to you who smiled along with the managers. "Mama is over there. Hi mama, I'm with papa!"

"Oh, it's little Sejun!" Wonwoo exclaimed and took the attention of the other members. They waved their hands to him, fascinated by Jun's carbon copy. Jun settled the child on the floor to greet his uncles and pose with them. And as you watched the others having fun onstage, you heard a ring and checked your phone to see Jun's text for you.

The managers beside you hooted and cheered, saying that your family was perfect and such, enough to make you flustered as you accepted their compliments. You saw Jun in the middle of the stage and carried his son with the microphone on. "This is my son Wen Sejun, isn't he handsome like me? My wife is over there! Y/N! I love you, thank you for visiting!"

Everyone's eyes were on you, grinning and applauding as you turned into a blushing mess. Carats knew that the man was married, and even before you introduced yourself as his wife to the public, they knew Jun was in good hands, and that he was going to be happy. In fact, he was lucky to be married to you and to be called as your husband.

After the fanmeeting, Jun quickly ran to you, together with Sejun and the other twelve. You were still taken aback from earlier, and being the center of attention was still new to you and made you nervous. The kid ran to you and hugged your knees while hiding from his father who carried the stuffed toy and the signed album.

"You know you could've just asked me to let the others sign this album right? Did you really have to make Sejun fall in line?" Jun asked as he pinched your reddened cheeks.

"Sejun wanted to surprise you, plus he wanted to experience the feeling of waiting and falling in line."

"Did we surprise you papa?" Your child asked, and all that Jun could do was carry him once more and press his cheeks to his own.

"Yes, you and mama did. Thank you for visiting Sejun, papa loves you and mama too," he looked at you and winked, the members whistled as he locked his hand with yours. "Now let's go and eat! Uncle Woozi said he'll treat us today!"

And so, the fifteen of you celebrated the success of the event in a private karaoke room, chomping and eating to your heart's content together with the child you called your treasure. Sejun was charming and talented, attracting the hearts of all especially his parents'. As he sang his father's favorite song with his grown uncles, you and Jun shared a quick peck, hiding from Sejun's wandering eyes.

"You took me by surprise earlier Y/N. Really, you always keep on making me love you more."

"Oh geez, it's all Sejun's idea. But if he's happy with it, then I'm happy as well."

"You're too good to be true, Mrs. Wen. I'm lucky to have you as my wife."

You looked and stared at his brown orbs as you felt the same. You sneaked another kiss on his lips once more before making a satisfied sigh. Oh how lucky you were to have this man as your child's son and your husband.

"The feeling's mutual Jun. And I'm thankful to have you as well. You're not a bad father after all."

"You have to be kidding me-."

"And I love you."

He chuckled and rested his head on you. Another afternoon was perfect because you and Sejun were right beside him. And within his thoughts, he wished that the day didn't have to end. But if it was to end, he wanted to see the hues and the setting sun with the two people he loved the most.

"I love you too, and Sejun too. And I'll never stop loving the two of you."

[ask-svt-hearteu]

Woozi’s takeover of ask-svt-hearteu

Woozi: Hello carats! Today is my birthday and I’m here all day to answer questions you have for me. Please show me lots of love and thank you all for supporting me and Seventeen! I love you guys! Saranghae!!!

Mini Masterlist of all Woozi Day asks:

Happy birthday Woozi!!!! How does it feel to be the center of attention?

Jihoonie~ can you be my lil brother? Cuz I don't have one and I think you are the perfect candidate

Jihoon, how do I put this in words ahh. Dont be offended jun but you were my first bias but woozi bias wrecked me too much and now he took that place

Woozi if it's okay with you can I give you a birthday kiss?     

Woozi is 28 feet tall and everyone can fight me on that.

Jihoon. Woozi. My baby. My love. I just want you to know that you are amazingly talented. You are an awesome dancer, beautiful singer, and genius producer

happy birthday, woozi!! make sure to get enough rest and don’t straing yourself composing masterpieces!

You are actually the sweetest thing alive. You know that, don’t you Jihoonie?

jihoonieeee why the mullet tho

jihoon-oppa~~~ Will you marry me?

AAAAAAH ITS MY BBYS BIRTHDAY WOOOO um i just wanna say he's an actual angel and like I love him

Okay first thing's first.  Happy birthday Woozi if the boys don't pamper you I'll fight them

Woozi!! Happy Birthday to one of my favorite producers in music!!!! I want to thank you because you are one of the biggest reasons why seventeen made it so far.

Lee jihoon  Jihoonie  Woozi  Vobo  You handsome cutie pie of a manlyman I love you so so much  I know that you are my bias and the owner of my heart since the second I laid my eyes on you

Oppa, is it okay if I pat your head as a birthday good luck charm? I mean, we are the same height ,might as well..

Woozi is out here being the best human in existence... Mingyu is my main man, but Woozi is creating lanes I didn't even know existed. Battle of the boys has begun... 

Aw Hoonie the members stole all ur food come over I'll cook just for u

Happy birthday, Jihoon!! I hope you have an amazing day full of joy and happiness! You are such an amazing composer and performer, Carats are so proud of you and we all love you!!

HOW DID I FORGET MY BIAS' BDAY I FEEL SO GUILTY PLEASE FORGIVE ME MY BEAUTIFUL LIL FAIRY :"( Happy birthday :')

Wooziiiii the other anon wanted you to be her lil brother, but I just want to call you oppa. Is that okay?  

Woozi I saw that interaction with chanyeol at the award show, you 2 just melted my heart when you guys are together      

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIHOOONN!!!!!! U KEWLLL!!! LUV YAA!!!! AHHHHHHHH UR GETTING OLDERRRR - <3“Happy Birthday Jihoon-hyung! I hope you had an amazing day! Ily. 💞“ “ WOOZI I LOVE YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💞💞💞💜💜💜💛💛💛💛” “ HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOOZI! All the birthday kisses to you 😘❤️  “ 

'Jihoonie'. That is the cutest name I've ever heard someone call Woozi. I love it. I'm going to use that now. Thank you.    

Happy birthday Jihoonie! Let's eat lots of cake and listen to good music! *kisses cheek* I hope you have a great day 내사랑💜  

WOOZIII HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! You know I kind of wanted to do a gifset or edit for you but I'm not talented at all xD...      

My body pillow is the same size as you Woozi so I like to cuddle up to it at night and pretend it's you 😳   

Woozi!! Are you getting enough sleep? Is it true you sleep in a strange position?

My daughter (5) is a huge fan of you Woozi and wants to tell you happy birthday.

I love you WOOZI!!! Happy birthday!!!! *Sings happy birthday agressively with strep throat*

Woozi-oppa, do you like it better when fans call you cute, sexy or handsome? (coz for me you're all)

HAPPY BDAY WOOZI !! ILYYYY thank u for producing such amazing songs ! and working so so hard. ♡♡

I could talk about Jihoon for fucking hours but like none of my friends care so I have a notebook where i scribble down everything svt related

I just wanted to stop by and tell you that you make my heart flutter every time I see you

Hey woozi what is you and dk relationship in the very beginning vs now

I hope the members spoiled you, if they didn't it they can fight me because you deserve the world

[chill-pill-life]

Seventeen going to the Convenience Store

Episode Four: Where Seventeen visits the convenience store because of someone’s hunger.

Mingyu: “Wonwoo~”

Wonwoo:

Mingyu: “Wonwoo~”

Wonwoo:

Mingyu: “WONWOO!!!”

Wonwoo: *jumps up from bed in shock* “What now?”

Mingyu: “I’m hungry” *smiles*

Wonwoo: “You’ve got to be kidding me”

Mingyu: “Minghao”

The8: “Shut up and go back to bed”

Mingyu: “No wake up!”

The8: “Go bother someone else”

Mingyu: “I’m hungry let’s go to the convenience store”

The8: “Ask someone else like Wonwoo”

Mingyu: “I did and he didn’t want to”

The8: “Obviously he wouldn’t IT’S 4AM YOU IDIOT”

Mingyu: “FINE you all leave me with no choice then…” *leaves room*

The8: “Finally thank god”

Mingyu: *takes a sip of water*

Mingyu: *clears throat*

Mingyu: “FIREEEEEEEEEEEE!!! FIREEEEEEEEEEE!!! WAKE UP EVERYONE THERE’S A FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”

Mingyu: “COUPS HYUNG YOUR CHILDREN ARE ON FIREEEEE”

Mingyu: “JEONGHAN HYUNG YOUR HAIR IS ON FIREEEEE”

Mingyu: “WOOZI HYUNG YOUR STUDIO IS ON FIREEEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “CHAN YOUR MICHAEL JACKSON ALBUMS ARE ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “VERNON YOUR MACBOOK IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “HOSHI HYUNG WOOZI IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “JOSHUA HYUNG YOUR GUITARS ARE ON FIREEEEEE”

Mingyu: “WONWOO YOUR BEANIE COLLECTION IS ON FIREEEEEE”

Mingyu: “JUN YOUR PASSPORT BACK TO CHINA IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “SEUNGKWAN JEJU IS ON FIREEEEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “SEOKMIN DONKEY KONG IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “MINGHAO MINGYU IS ON FIREEEEEEEEEEEEE”

Mingyu: *takes a seat on the sofa and waits patiently*

Seventeen: *runs into the living room*

Scoups: “MY CHILDREN ARE YOU ALL ALRIGHT?!”

Jeonghan: “AM I- AM I BALDDDD???! No wait don’t tell me I don’t want to know” *cries*

Dino: “MICHAEL JACKSON MY SPECIAL EDITION ALBUMS DON’T WORRY DINO WILL PROTECT CHU”

Jun: “My passport! My passport! Nooo!! I need it to leave this placeeeee”

Wonwoo: “1 beanie, 2 beanie, 3 beanie, 4 beanie…. WAIT beanie number 5 is missing!!!”

Hoshi: “WOOZI WOOZI WOOZI ARE YOU OUHKAY ERMAGAWD I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE SECRETLY CREPT INTO YOUR ROOM TO SLEEP TONIGHT”

Woozi: “You creep into my room to sleep?!”

Hoshi: “I didn’t say anything”

Vernon: *runs out with a pail of water and pours it on his mac*

Woozi: “Vernon, you know that you just poured a bucket full of water on your perfectly fine Macbook right?”

Vernon:

Vernon: “What?” *realises situation*

Woozi: “Unlike you all, I don’t fall for Mingyu’s dumbass tricks”

Vernon: “Give me a moment while I cry in the corner”

Woozi: “It’s gone bro”

Seungkwan: “HELLO HI OMG MUM I HEARD THAT THERE’S A FIRE IN JEJU ARE U OKAYYY? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO FIRE?”

Joshua: “Is this powder on the floor- perhaps the remains of my guitar?” *welps*

The8: “No, it’s just leftover ramen seasoning that a certain someone forgot to clean last night”

Mingyu: “Minghao, I said I was on FIREEEee! why aren’t you asking if I’m okay??”

The8: “I honestly just came out to watch you get burnt alive but after coming out of my room, I am utterly disappointed”

Scoups: “Hang on someone’s missing! ONE OF MY CHILDREN IS MISSING!”

Scoups: “SEOKMIN! SEOKMIN WHERE ARE YOU?”

DK: “Sleeping”

Mingyu: “But your donkey kong is on fire!”

DK: “UGH I’m so done with you Mingyu, I hope every donkey kong burns to the ground” gasp

Scoups: “Okay so everyone’s fine, there is clearly NO fire, it’s 4 in the morning, what in the name is the meaning of this Kim Mingyu?”

Mingyu: “Mingyu wants food”

Seventeen: “…”

Jeonghan: “So let me get this straight, you woke us up at 4 freaking AM and messed around with my hair getting caught on fire, for food?!?!?!”

The8: “I knew it”

Vernon: “Dude not cool, my macbook got fried” *sobs*

DK: “Great, so donkey kong isn’t on fire, what a nightmare”

Woozi: “I’m going back to bed”

Mingyu: “But Mingyu wants some food” *pouts*

Jun: “Someone hold me back if not I’m gonna hit this tall thing”

Scoups: “Alright, alright. First of all, no violence in this household is allowed, secondly if it was allowed, I am the one who is going to hit this child”

Scoups: “Thirdly, since we’re already up, let’s just go down and get some food”

Mingyu: “YAYYY” *throws confetti in the air*

Dino: “Confetti! Wheeeeee!!” *tries to catch confetti*

Joshua: “Am I the only one who wonders where the confetti came from?”

Jun: “There is no way I’m going down at this time-“

Wonwoo: “I’m a little hungry”

Jun: “LETS GO”

Jeonghan: “Seungcheol, I blame you for spoiling our children”

Joshua: *glares at coups*

Scoups: “What do you mean? Mingyu’s bad habits came from you…”

Jeonghan: “What are you saying, you’re the one who always-“

Mingyu: “I WANT FOOD”

Scoups: “Can’t you see that your parents are arguing?!”

Jeonghan: “Don’t yell at the children!”

Scoups: “URGH”

*at the store*

Mingyu: “This is how heaven must look like”

Seungkwan: “Yeah, if you want to gain like 50 pounds and wear a size 100, going to the emergency ward for a heart attack then yeah sure!”

Dino: “Dino was upset about my albums before but my heart is fluttering, I think I’m in love”

Jun: *stares at chan and stares at the dinosaur crackers and back at chan*

Jun: “Must. Contain. Judgement.”

Dino: *hugs box of dinosaur shaped crackers*

Jeonghan: “Do you want me to buy that for you Dino?”

Dino: *nods like the adorable child he is*

Vernon: “Do they sell Macbooks here?”

Joshua: “No Hansol it’s a convenience store why would they sell Macbooks?”

Joshua: “Frankly, I’m quite happy that your Macbook is gone, it’s been creating a gap between our relationship, now I just need your phone to disappear and it’ll be all good between us”

Vernon: “Hello kind sir, do you perhaps sell Macs?”

Cashier: “Oh, we don’t but down the street there’s a Mac-“

Vernon: “THANK YOU SIR I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR KINDNESS” *runs*

Cashier: “-Mcdonalds…”

Joshua: “So far so great” appearance of evil josh?

Mingyu: “HOLY MOLY WHAT IS THIS?”

Wonwoo: “Chips?”

Hoshi: “It’s called Cheetos gyu, haven’t you tried it before?”

Mingyu: “BUT IT’S ORANGE!”

The8: “It’s just cheese”

Mingyu: “CHEESEEEE”

Mingyu: *opens bag*

Wonwoo: “Erm Mingyu you know that you’re supposed to pay before opening it right?”

Mingyu: “Om nom nom what is this magical taste in my mouth?”

The8: “Don’t over-react Mingyu, it’s just chips covered in oil and artificial flavoured cheese”

Seungkwan: “You forgot to add trans fat”

Mingyu: “But it tastes sho good!” *squeals*

Mingyu: “Minghao can you hold this for me, I need to tie my shoelaces”

The8: “Fine but hurry up”

Cashier: “Did you just open up the chips without paying?!”

Mingyu: “He did it” *points to Minghao*

The8: “WHAT THE FUNK YO”

Cashier: “I’m calling the cops” *takes phone out*

Scoups: “Okay what’s happening now?”

Cashier: “Are these yours?”

Scoups: “Yes they’re my children, that at this point of time I’m seriously considering abandoning, but for now yes they are”

Cashier: “They opened the packet of chips without paying for it, it’s a crime and they can go to jail for it”

Seungkwan: “I predict you’re going to rot in that cell until you’re 30”

The8: “I ain’t going to jail man”

Scoups: “I’m sorry, these kids didn’t know any better, can I just pay for it instead? Please don’t call the cops, we have a music show to do tomorrow and the CEO will flip out if they aren’t there, just tell me how much it is”

Cashier: “Just pay me 50 bucks and we’ll call it even”

Scoups: “50?! What a rip-off!”

Hoshi: “Well there goes your hard-earned money”

The8: “The worst part is… I DIDN’T EVEN DO IT”

Cashier: “What do you mean you didn’t do it, the bag is open and it’s in your hands”

Mingyu: “YEAH MINGHAO HOW COULD YOU! ITS ILLEGAL!”

The8: “WHY I OUTTA-“ *rolls up sleeve* thughao

Scoups: “Boys, don’t fight here!”

Seungkwan: “Pass me that bag of chips hosh, this is getting interesting”

Cashier: “Hello is this the police?”

Scoups: “OKAY SIR HERE’S 50 DOLLARS ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?”

Cashier: “Sorry, there’s an inflation of price, it’s 100 now”

Scoups: “That is absurd, it’s practically daylight robbery!”

Wonwoo: “Actually hyung, it’s night-time robbery…. because it’s at night…”

Hoshi: “So it’s either we sent Minghao to jail or pay $100? What kind of sick logic is that?”

Seungkwan: “I say we send Minghao to jail and spend the hundred on something else like meat”

The8:“I feel the love y’all”

Cashier: “The address is 62-gil Gangnam-gu, yes the convenience store-“

Scoups: “HERE’S 100!”

Cashier: “Happy New Year children” *kisses the stack of cash*

Hoshi: “There goes our lunch for tomorrow”

Scoups: “WHO DID IT”

Wonwoo: “Wonwoo will not testify”

The8: “I swear hyung its Mingyu”

Mingyu: *shakes head*

The8: “You liar! You almost sent me to JAIL!”

Mingyu: “Okay fine, I opened it. It just looks so yummy I had to eat one”

Scoups: “The CEO gave it to me for us to use wisely and now it’s all gone, you better not make any more trouble or I’m going to seriously consider abandoning you”

Seungkwan: “Don’t forget that he broke Jin Sunbaenim’s display case that day”

Mingyu: “SHHHHH don’t remind him”

Scoups: “Let’s just all go home and get some rest”

*back at the dorm*

Mingyu: *sits on bed and takes out Cheetos packet*

DK: *wakes up*

DK: “What is that crunching sound?”

Mingyu: …

DK: *sniff sniff*

DK: “Is that cheetos I smell?”

Mingyu: “MINE!” *closes packet and hides under blanket*

[ask-svt-hearteu]

jealous! Wonwoo

@123hongkong-blog requested: “Hey there☺️❣️please may I request a jealous wonwoo sort of headcannon, similar to the one u did for woozi☺️? This is my first time ever requesting and I just wanted to say I love ur blog!��😊thanks so much in advance❤️”

Genre: fluff

Word Count: 1401

A/N: Sorry it took so long and TYSM AHH OUR HEARTS! hope you enjoy! This was difficult lmao and I suck at everything okie lesgoooo

Wonwoo and you had been dating for about a year

there was something about him that never failed to make your heart flutter

never failed to put a smile on your face

never failed to make you thank your lucky stars that you had such an amazing person by your side

sure, it had been really rough at first

while you had been sort of close friends with all of svt, since you had gone to the Seoul School of performing arts with some of the members, including Wonwoo

with varying levels of friendly intimacy

Wonwoo had always been politely reserved and shied away from too many interactions with you

the others told you that's just how he was

he needed time to warm up to people

and you were ok with that

after all you hadn't expected to fall head-over-heels at the time

svt was often busy anyway

and you didn't hang out with them that often

and you knew how shy Wonwoo could be

so it didn't really bother you at first

you don't know at exactly what point you started crushing on him

maybe it was when you first saw the cutest puppy in the world walk up to Wonwoo

and the person who originally could look cold and intimidating

well he jumped back about five feet and ran to hide behind a tree with the puppy confused but endearingly following after him

you had spent a good minute laughing before you realized Wonwoo must be scared of the fluffball that was that puppy

so you walked up to the puppy, pet it and carried it in your arms, a safe distance away from Wonwoo

"Thanks." he said sighing in relief

he smiled at you

and you thought damn he looks hella cute when he's smiling

and the both of you walked off to find the puppy's family

or maybe it was when you ran into him at the bookstore

Joshua had been there too a couple of rows down, talking with Jun over some book he read recently

but you hadn't seen them yet

Wonwoo saw you first and actually walked up to say hello

which you thought was incredibly adorable and yay for making progress in your convos with the guy

and you noticed the book he was holding in his hand

"Oh you're reading that book? I loved it, the juxtaposition of the two main characters and the way the author weaves the story outside of what we commonly accept as reality, it was an amazing read."

maybe he started falling for you slowly

maybe you fell for him slowly

but the discussion over the basic elements of a book you two loved

a conversation that was passionate and intellectual

that's all you needed to start with

apparently Wonwoo isn't good with hiding his emotions around Svt

because the next time you join them for some video games

"Y/n, Wonwoo hyung just won't shut up about you. Don't get us wrong we love you and everything but please just date the guy already so we don't have to hear him debating how to ask you out five hundred million ways while pacing the living room."

suffice to say Mingyu could have died that night

from the looks Wonwoo was shooting him

but luckily for Mingyu all of svt safely escaped into the other rooms, dragging Mingyu with them leaving you and Wonwoo alone - the both of you blushing furiously

you're kind of just in disbelief

because you had told Mingyu about your crush on Wonwoo

and you were worried that Mingyu had just said that to tease you

but Wonwoo took a deep breath and looked at you

"He wasn't lying, well the five hundred million part was exaggerated, but the rest. . ."

he trailed off looking at a spot on the ceiling not meeting your eyes

you both talked about what you wanted to do

and he asked you out officially

and things had always worked well from there

he was mature and dorky at the same time

which balanced with your personality well

he was never really jealous before, or from what you could see - or at least, he never made it obvious to you

until

you both went out for lunch one day and the male server kept giving you a huge smile

and you're like, chill they're really nice

but Wonwoo. . . well, he squirmed a bit in his seat

he told himself to calm down and that perhaps the male server was just being nice

but then the male server complimented your outfit

and gave you dessert, on the house

right in front of Wonwoo

and yes, he's pretty calm and quiet about it

he trusts you

but for Wonwoo that day, that was strike one

when you walked along the street with your hand in Wonwoo's hand

a couple of guys at the convenience store on the corner catcalled you

you glanced quickly at Wonwoo and held his hand tighter

he had his lips pressed together and he was staring straight ahead

strike two

"Hey they're drunk." you said tugging a bit on his sleeve to get him to look at you

it's not that Wonwoo had never dealt with stuff like this

to him, he could see why

you were beautiful

and he felt kind of inadequate sometimes

he just loved you so, so much

"Yea lucky for them." He said with a smile and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek

but you could see he was still a bit bothered

his grip on your hand tightened a bit and your pace had to quicken to keep up with his

when you both got back to the dorms

you both sat down at the table and just sat there in silence

you occasionally sneaking looks at him to see if he was okay

he didn't say anything and his face was emotionless

your phone pings, indicating a text

you pick it up to read

"Who is it?"

what bad timing

it's one of your closest friends

he went to the same school you, Wonwoo, and Seungcheol went to

he was asking if you and Seungcheol wanted to catch a movie since he was back in town

he didn't know Wonwoo all that well which is probably why he didn't invite him

even though he knew you two were dating

probably an accident on your close friend's part

but that was strike three

Wonwoo stood up abruptly from the table

acting a bit flustered, he rubbed the back of his neck and muttered something you couldn't hear

"What did you say?" You ask standing up out of your seat also and reaching for his hand

he backs up a bit, and immediately regrets it seeing the small look of hurt you give him

you bring your arm back down to your side

"Y/n I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- I just . . ."

you folded your arms across your chest, hugging yourself to prevent yourself from looking too hurt

"Lately, I have this weird feeling in my chest." Wonwoo starts whispering

"And I talked to some of the other members about it. It's kind of a burning here." he says pointing at the spot on his chest above his heart

"and I've been thinking about you non-stop, I know we're dating and you know that I love you, but back there I really wanted to punch those guys at the store and hold you in my arms and never let go. And wipe that slimy smile off that server's face, just because he's decently good looking. And I wish I could be better for you..."

you stare down at your toes

"And Seungcheol and them are fun and more outgoing, I seem kind of boring don't I? I guess I'm jealous. "

you finally look up to meet his eyes

and you feel yourself tearing up

"Wonwoo, I love you so much too."

he freezes and looks at you searching your face

"You're not boring, you're so handsome, and mature and amazing and everything. I'm glad you didn't punch them, you can compose yourself so well, and you're smart and incredibly talented. If anyone should feel inadequate, it's me."

"What the heck? No y/n." He says taking you into his arms

"we're meant for each other." you start saying laughing into his chest

"because I'd never want anyone else."

MASTERLIST