#u cant tell in this lighting but i am washed out and GREEN looking

[arthurflecksgirl]

I was wondering if u could write a ff where Joker comes home after he drew the smile on his face with his blood. He managed somehow to escape from the police and he return home to the female reader with all the blood on his face. :)

Thank you soo much for the beautiful request. Sorry that it took me so long. I started with Arthurs point of view and switched to readers point of view. I hope thats okay with you ?

ARTHURs point of view

I feel the hot blood trippin down my forehead. Into my eyes. Its burning. Everything is burning. My skin, my eyes, Gotham, my heart. Everything is a blurr with blood all over your face. Everything seems foggy after you ran from the cops. Especially your mind. At the same time I feel like I can see clear through all the foggyness. Its ironic how chaos can make you feel like you see clear for the first time. Chaos makes me real. People noticing me makes me even realer. I am aware of the fact that those people out there, all the protestors didnt really saw me. I mean, for a moment it truly felt like it. Like I have been seen by many people, a crowd for the first time in my life. And it felt....good. Through all the pain and hurt and confusion it felt good. But... there was something missing. There is always something missing inside of me. Except when I am with her.

She is the missing part of me. No one in that crowd cold give me what Y/N holds for me. Not as single soul. Yes it was interesting to feel all those eyes o me. I need an audience. I need to be seen and heard. But after I took my fingers to the corner of my mouth to form that smile everyone wanted to see on me I realized something. Every single one out on the streets...all those people didnt even knew my name. Arthur Fleck. To them I was the Joker. Someone who wanted to start a riot against the rich. I never wanted that. I never had those kinda plans- The only plan I had was to make people happy by telling jokes. They applouded me for something I didnt even wanted to start. They didnt loved me for who I am. Only for the idea they had of me. To them I was a symbol. A movement. They would be disappointed to find out that all I wanted was a hand to hold.  Arthur would bore them to death.

I toch the fabric of my red suit. Being Joker feels good. Protective. This suit is an armour. A shielt to protect me from the world. But the only shield I need is her embrace. They keep me save at night. I need her now. More than ever.

I finally arrive where she lives, trying to catch my breath. My finger presses the doorbell. I bet she wants to come over to my apartment for the evening. Y/N loves the cosyness of the living room. She loves to sleep on that damn, old couch. Too bad she can never do that again. We both can`t. Randalls body is still there. We can`t stay here eighter. I have to explain this to her. We gotta leave Gotham behind. Finally. Who wants to stay here anyway?

"Daring?" her soothing voice calms me down immeaditely. She openes the door with a shocked look on her face. I`m sorry to scare her. I never intened to do so. One look at her face and my entire world is bathing in sunlight. She sees me. She really sees me in a way I want to be seen. Not like these protestors. She sees right through my heart. Into the most hidden corners of my mind. For a moment I get scared of everything that happened today. I dont want to burden her with my actions. I need her to be save. I just need her love now. I need to feel how much she loves me. To prove that there is someone who doesnt only see me as a symbol.

"Artie" she says, wrapping her arms around me, touching my bloody forehead with her fingertips "What happened? Are you hurt? Is that your blood? I watched the news. I got so scared. How did you escape?" All those questions escaping her shaking lips.

Artie. I love it when she calls me that. I`m still Artie to her. Even with all that blood on my face. Even after shooting Murray.

I wrap my arms around her hips. It doesnt feel right to touch her with my bloody hands. I stain her clothes with a mixture of my blood and the blood of others. I feel dirty.

"I`m....fine I think. Now. I am fine now that I am with you. But we gotta leave, baby. I did some bad shit." I try to explain while catching my breath.

"Is that true? What they said on the news?"

"I guess so"

"Oh my god, Arthur. What have they done to you?"

"What do you mean?" her reaction is surprising.

"I know they cut the funding. You couldnt buy your medication, right? Thats why all of tis happened. They did this to you." Y/N starts crying. I cannot stand to watch her cry. I want her to be happy, so I pull her closer to my chest.

"Shhht baby, its okay. We will figure something out. We`ll run away together. I dont need Gotham. I dont need any of this. We just need each other. And most of all I need you to love me".

She touches the corner of my mouth, realizing the blood forms a smile on me.

"You know I do. " she whispers.

"Yeah...I felt it. After I got off taht police car I felt that the only person who ever saw me was you. So I needed to escape. But the cops ran after me. "

"We should go to your place and get your stuff before we leave"

"We can`t, Y/N.  I dont need this stuff anyway. All I need is your hand in mine while I run."

Y/N looks me deep in the eyes, trying to get an answer. Trying to understand why we cant get back into my apartment. I hope she can forgive me.

YOUr point of view

Seeing Arthur like this breaks your heart. That bloody smile on his face. That smile he always wanted to give to others but he couldnt feel himself. That smile that he drew onto his face for so many years. Now drawn with his own blood. He`s breathless from running, his chest lifting up and down while you put your hand on it. The blood is running down his forehead. You ask him about the accident you have seen on the news. But he claims he is okay. The news scared you to death. You couldnt handle him getting hurt. Or worse...

You just want to bring him to his apartment, helping him into the bathtub and wash away this bloody mess. But you know you can`t. He said you cannot get back home, so he has his reasons for it. You wouldnt even ask why.

Arthurs intense eyes stare right into yours. There is a delusional look to them. Like he just had a weird fever dream and he didnt came back from it yet. You put your hands on his cheek. The blood staining your palms. A real smirk shows under the blood smile. For a second you caught yourself getting turned on by it. You immediately feel bad about that. He is hurt. Confused. Yet so extremly attractive.

"Are you really okay, Artur?"

He noods "Yeah. I am, baby. I just need to know if you still love me. I will explain it to you. I mean...everything that happened today and why I did what I did....but....please baby, dont stop loving me..."

You put your finger to his smeared lips.

"I cold never...." tears start running down your face. This is all too much. Seein him vulnerable like that.

His face so close to yours, his breath ghosting across your skin.

You know he wants to kiss you right now. You know him so well. But he wouldnt allow himself to smear all that blood on your face without being sure if you are okay with it.

You are okay with it.

More than that.

You want it.

You want to kiss away the blood.

You long for the taste of it.

"Kiss me" you breathe into his face.

"I`m a bloody mess" he replies while he pulls out a cig. And just as he is about to light it up you grab his hand to throw the cigarrette away "Make me a bloody mess,too."

Arthur smirks right before he pushes you against the wall to press his bloody lips on yours. You taste it. You taste it all. His hopes and fears, the confusion running through his head. The anger and passion. The love. the pureness within his racing heart.

As his tongue eagerly parts your lips you know that you cannot stay here for long. The cops are after him. You gotta run. You gotta run fast. But you know that you both would run hand in hand. Which made it all bearable.

But first you gotta show him how much you love him. No matter what happened. No matter how much of a mess he is right now. You`ll show him that you will kiss his wounds until they start to heal. The taste of blood starts to fill your mouth while he pulls you closer. His  green, messy curls tickeling your skin. His muscles twitching under your touch. Everything drowns in red. His fave color. Arthur kisses you until your head is spinning. His wounded hands holding your face so gently, like they never did anything else.

"I taste you" you moan into his mouth "I taste all of thats inside you".

His blood filling your mouth is different. It feels like its not even possible to get closer to him than that. With every twist of his warm tongue you swallow him down.

"I love you so much, Arthur"

He stops kissing you for a moment "Lets run away together and never come back" he whispers "But first let me love you like there is no tomorrow".

[meitanreax]

day 2

hello!!!

here is my challenge for today >:) here are the most interesting things/funny things that i saw today!!

ok this first one is me bc the lighting was nice hAHAHAHFSLKDFJLSKFJ and i am very interesting (: to u (: LOOOLLL but yeah i thot the lighting was nice HAHA and my skin is nice thanks birth control!!!! 

ok this is. the 2nd one/..so i was just in the mall and i see this and im like kJFDLSKJLXCKVJLJ imagine a family wearing this? IM JFDSLKF i just like specifically how the shirt says fucking KIDDIE....LOOOOLL yah but watch white people wear this. omg i just realized they all have matching bottoms too im going INSANE LOL

3rd thing. OK! like i said!! my cousin plays shooting games...really funny tho!! lOL i did not expect that!!! at least she is a gamer and she draws anime chibis so im like wow. lOOOL #relatable #measakid #wow! she knows what league of legends is so i guess!!! she is a real gamer (but she doesnt know csgo or overwatch, but she is a huge COD fan LOL ???)

4th. i got gongcha and i dont know why this random dude is on the cup LOOOL isnt it most boba places like the cups are clear and stuff?? IDK LOOL philippines gives out like these paper cups and STRAWS TOO OMG..the straw was made out of paper and it got SUPER like...soggy after 2 minutes god please help me LOL

5th!!! this is the view from my hotel room ;_; i dont wanna leave this hotel cuz its so nice and i have my own space away from my actual botch mom...omfg...we hate to see it!!! but its super nice and close to this popular mall (whcih is ok, i am indifferent it is just big) LOL but yah!!! its super pretty sigh TwT lets get a hotel room together sometime again!!!

- - -

ok! for today, i woke up at like...4 am then 5 am...cuz of jet lag. (it really be like that) and then i just lied in bed pretending to be asleep(actually on my phone) so my parents wouldnt bug me!!! today i found out that there are actually lil bugs on strawberries..if u dont wash it thoroughly...scary...i am no longer buying my own fruit and chopping it up HAHA

so like i got up and got ready for the day around like 7 am!! my parents left to go to the gym at 6 and i was like wtf LOL they r probably eating breakfast w/o me..and I WAS RIGHT DUDE I TEXTED THEM and they were like yah come down?? and i got lowkey annoyed like BRO!! why u drag me out here and say u wanna spend ‘famIly tiME’ and then continue to do shit like this LOL but it’s ok!! so the breakfast buffet i went to was super fancy!! here are the photos below

they had filipino breakfast, and then chinese food too o.0 like dimsum! and the lil soup dumplings!! they also had sushi..which was weird!! LOL but it was brunch i guess but at 7 am...LOOOL i had a green smoothie (LMFAO but it was like...not thick consistency it was more like pressed juicery and p like nice consistency! it was mango, spinach, and ginger so it tasted nice!!)

i had fried fish and bacon and then breakfast meat thingy for breakfast!!! and i had a sugar donut!! also i had this filipino dessert that uses like almond jelly/soy jelly, syrup, and boba ^__^ it’s called taho!! 

it looks like this! O: i think u would like it hehe

anyways yah my parents kept asking me about my friends/you back at ucla and i was getting rlly uncomfortable cuz they were being oddly nosy....idk how but i ended up talking about how im close to jess lee and my mom told me i should become an influencer to get free shit ~_~ so im like dO U WANT ME TO BE A DOCTOR OR A INFLUENCER LOL which is it!! bro !! so annoying!!!

anyways we just chilled at the hotel room and my young cousin came over n stuff!! my mom left with my aunt to go get her plastic surgery or sumn idk and then me and my younger cousin and dad went to the mall!! that’s where we got potato corner and gongcha LOL

my younger cousin was shy and quiet at first but she opened up once i asked her about video games and she was more comfortable!! when we got back my dad just took a nap but me and my younger cousin (ez) decided to watch horror game let’s plays. she actually like knows some of the horror games i know cuz of horror lp’ers LLOOOL 

we watched one called the doll shop?? it was creepy it was like this japanese dude who worked at a doll shop, and he has a doll stored in the back of his private room that’s his ‘favorite doll’ and like literally throughout the game theres posters of a missing girl and then turns out the guy is hallucinating/mentally ill and the favorite doll in his room is like this dressed up corpse of the missing girl im KJDLFKJF I CALLED IT. DUDE LOL i was like yo that guy is fucked up!!!!! i bet he is hiding something!!!

we watched another one called ao oni KFJDLSKFJ its some funny pixel rpg horror chase game and idk it’s funny ill show u HAHAHA it’s dumb bc the monster looks dumb it’s like... SOME BIG ASS PURPLE CHIBI DUDE LOOOL

and then my mom came back whatever and went to bed...cuz my dad wants to leave at fuckign 1230 am for the next place we’re going to...im deceased cuz like i will literally have to nap for 3 hours then sleep another 3-4 hours on the way there and im pISSED CANT WE JUST DEAL WITH THE TRAFFIC LOL i dont want to leave at fcking 1230 am!!! what the heck!!

but yes!! im getting jollibee with my dad and im prolly gunna pack and then get ready for bed ^__^ but that’s my night for today!! ill update you more as it goes along :3 

OH ALSO our commissioner says she will give us our lineart for the chibis so ill send that to u later hehe!!!

OK i wanna try giving u a challenge too!! so ur challenge: take the prettiest photo of the sky/view tomorrow on ur hotair balloon!! and tell me if it’s like up!!! plus points if u edit pupy in it LOOOL & also add more songs to the playlist!!

okie!! that’s all for now!! ill update you more tomorrow! hopefully we’ll be able to call tomorrow night or the following morning ;w; its gonna be hard cuz im gonna be out most of the day/on the road but ill try my best!!!

i love you so much bebu!! thanks so much for putting this effort into making it work ;_; it’s a lot more bearable with ur contributions!! u make me so happy !! i am happy pupy too hehe i love you and miss you sososososo much!!! 12 more days at this rate <3 _ <3 i love you! so much, forever, more than anything, with all my heart!! 

[blookmallow]

some observations about suspiria mostly about set design/symbolism. lots of me rambling about colors

im probably looking too far into things w/ a lot of this i just like speculating. this ended up being like an entire fuckign essay i am sorry this is so much :’ )

- WATER KEEPS SHOWING UP as i mentioned before and i am nOT sure why,

the film begins and ends with massive amounts of rain

madam markos supposedly died in a fire, fire is the opposite of water

we also see this shot at the end where suzy escapes into the rain while the witches are being burnt up inside

my guess is just. the usage of water/fire bc water is a cold, purifying substance; water cleanses, washes away, puts out flame, while fire is destructive, produces smoke, kills

but then we also have these little demon things spitting out water and the building itself soaked in water too

so i think theres a lil bit of water as distortion/blurred senses/confused perception / water as mystical as well as water as purifying/cleansing 

- blood. horror films do tons of things with blood but whenever blood shows up in suspiria it tends to be like.... very, very bright, which draws your attention strongly to it and gives it a kind of otherworldly sense - might just be an aesthetic thing, or like. how people say witnessing horrific violence in real life feels surreal and impossible so they’ve accentuated it here to heighten that feeling

the distortion of visuals/sound/etc tends to get the most intense/the highest level of surreal dreamstate feeling when something mysterious/something violent/something otherworldly is happening so that might be related 

- shifting perspectives- a lot of the time when someone was afraid or the music was doing the Danger thing the camera angle would suddenly move and swoop around like a ghost which. again i dont know if that Means Something or is just an aesthetic thing but for me it gave the impression that something was watching them/something unseen was present in the space and it was a rly neat thing

- sound becomes Very Loud and chaotic and overwhelming when characters are scared; really good use of sound to create anxiety, i also could never quite tell whether the characters could hear the sounds or not (there was one instance where sara heard something and was looking around fearfully, i heard the raspy singing/loud theme music thing going on but then she reveals she heard snoring which was lost under the soundtrack so i didnt hear that. so its sort of implying when that sound happens she’s hearing something but not the same thing im hearing)

the main theme plays over and over and over so it gets stuck in your head, im guessing maybe that theme is supposed to signify magic/the witches/Weird Shit is Happening/Someone’s Gonna Die like. the jaws theme/the halloween theme/etc but this one seemed particularly. persistent to the point that its kinda making my head spin at this point 

though repetitive sound/melodies also heightens anxiety and the whole fever dream aesthetic too 

- pink, red, blue, and white. color is huge in this film but i cant tell if any particular color is supposed to have any particular significance (theres also a lot of green and yellow but i didnt notice anything significant enough to connect those to) 

the outside of the building itself is red (except in one shot it looked suddenly really pink, i think that was right before the dog attack??) red usually symbolizes blood, violence, rage, sometimes passion, etc 

i ended up with a ton of shots of this hallway just bc its.....so good,

the “red room” was where suzy was told to go practice (i dont remember it actually ever being shown though? unless i just forgot or it wasnt actually colored red), the stern teacher lady was shown in a mirror with a red wall behind her and like. red showing up behind her happened a lot (they all turn out to be witches so im not sure why it was specifically her) (coulda been to make the audience suspect her In Particular when in reality its all of them)

the girls are all dressed in white, which usually symbolizes innocence and/or purity- they become drenched in red/pink when they die (suzy also threw a blanket over the bat before she killed it, im not sure if the blanket was white or pink bc of lighting but red seeped through it from the dead bat) 

there’s also the white sheets in the temporary dorm hall that suddenly turn red when the lights go out 

white seems to be a kind of canvas for other colors to be shown against 

pink shows up a lot but i couldnt quite figure that one out, mostly red/blue seemed to be the main colors playing against the white 

im not sure what building this was but this was where i noticed Pink kept happening 

water washing away red 

im not sure what this was?? because i thought it was wine but. the color and consistency was super weird when she poured it out 

n then sara goes out into the hallway, which is flooded with red light that seems to follow her as she leaves

she becomes practically drowned in red just before her death

then we have this neat shot where she moves from the red hallway to the blue room and the shift in colors is projected onto her body because of the white dress

into complete blue light

the sound is also LOUD and frantic when she’s in red light, and the sudden cut to blue here also completely cuts the sound to total silence; i noticed red/LOUD, blue/silence happened several times after that (maybe it also was before, i didnt notice)

every time she smashes a window there’s a sudden violent flash of red light that illuminates her (red could also = pain and mental distress) 

im not sure what blue signifies though, blue in contrast to red is cool and pleasing, comforting, calm, but this place isn’t safe or comforting nor does she feel calm or safe in this moment so i have. no idea 

the window above her appears pink or maybe light purple, it looks like a way out but ends up being the window to her death so maybe the mixture of red/blue danger/safety could be there but. again i dont think blue = safe either

i noticed death-via-window happening a lot too

but like. this side is also blue. so. i have No Idea

blue and red blending together over white after the bat scene

leaving a still/quiet/blue room to go into the red/chaotic noise (i think the sound started at the exact same moment the light became visible too)

red and blue seem to be at war with each other over the set after this point 

red hallway with blue stained glass panes (and there was a lightning flash here too that flooded the room with blue light for a second)

this time the still/quiet room has red glow in it, the first color we see in the mystery door into the witches’ chamber is blue (and it was the blue iris that opened it) 

flashing red and blue on the witches themselves, i took screenshots so id remember what i was gonna say but now i forget if it was rapidly flashing between colors or if there was specifically a blue flash when she drank from the cup 

escaping into rain but surrounded in red 

i dunno. im not a film major im just a person who likes movies and colors :’) i could be totally off on all of this, maybe none of it means anything and its all just aesthetics, maybe it does mean something and i missed it entirely, i hav no idea but. anyway. there’s my accidental 15 page essay on suspiria and colors thank u goodnight