#u gotta hate heroin b4 u start to taper & if u dont......then u aint ready bro

[heroin-antiheroine]

more stuff about tapering :) 

lol i go on about tapering A LOT lately bc it’s always on my mind but it’s been treating me so well & i urge any heroin addict to give it a try But there are some requirements in order to do it. u don’t have to be organised or motivated in general.....bc i’m dyspraxic & adhd diagnosed & i’m hella Not either of those things. but u do have to have some motivation & the best motivation is HATE or SPITE!!!! u cannot be in love with heroin if u want to taper off it. u can’t even remotely like it. u will fail if u still romanticise ur addiction in any way & honestly, i’m not gonna get mad at u for doin that bc it’s rly easy to do. we think these substances are helping us & improving our lives. we think of them as comfort objects or things to take away the pain of the world, which we addicts often carry on our shoulders. we might’ve even said we loved them at one point, but as u know, that doesn’t last forever. heroin does make u feel good, ofc it does, otherwise we wouldn’t do it. & it’s not gonna stop doing that either, it still makes me feel good, but that tiny amount of fake happiness i get with the rush just isn’t enough. i’m high all the time.....i’ve been high constantly for 2 years, everyday. u just forget ur high, i think of myself as sober most of the time bc i’m well but i don’t Feel high (but then i do dumbass shit that i regret in the morning that proves i actually was - but i don’t Feel it in the moment!!! what bullshit is that??). 

hate & spite are seen as bad things but they can be motivators for good. when the pain of change is lesser than the pain of staying where u are, then change happens (i’m gonna quote that forever). u need to give urself back AGENCY before u taper as well!! for a whole year i went on about “mind control” (bc of my insane cravings & thoughts when i was clean for those 9 days in april 2018) but it does take a while to realise that ur in control!! & i mean...that is hard to admit. i control my use, not heroin......heroin is just a substance, it doesn’t have any thoughts or feelings. it doesn’t love me, it doesn’t hate me, it sure as hell doesn’t control me. yea it gives me shitty withdrawal symptoms & cravings & makes me miserable.....but that’s not actually IT, that’s my brain doing that, my brain that’s adapted to heroin after these 2 years. gaining control of something i felt out of control of is completely wild! but it’s something u can’t lie to urself about, cos then u won’t succeed.

u have to do it slow. my dose last year was 250mg a day (2g in 8 days - not rly sure of each shot cos i didnt have scales). when i started it was 75mg x 3 (225mg a day). i’ve gone down soooooooooo slowly. 1-3mg a day. yeah it’s gonna be slow. but u have to do that in order to avoid cravings & withdrawal & so ur body will adapt. on the 8th of april i made a post on instagram saying i had finally broken 40mg x 3. today, the 10th of may, i’m on 24mg x 3. i haven’t had a single symptom of withdrawal (other than when i wake up) bc i’m doing it sooooo slowly. & i’m saving tons of money. low & slow is all u need to remember when tapering :) 

(but also if u are on a Really high dose, u can come down faster. like if u were doing a gram a day, u could definitely easily jump down 5-10mg a day & it wouldnt affect u much at all. uhhhh disclaimer: i DO NOT advocate tapering for benzos or alcohol. get urself to a doctor if u wanna come off of em)