#ufanfiction

[bi-bard]

Throw a Punch, Fall in Love, Give Yourself a Reason - Crowley & Aziraphale Imagine [Good Omens]

Title: Throw a Punch, Fall in Love, Give Yourself a Reason

Pairing: Aziraphale & Crowley X Platonic!Reader

Based On: Call Your Mom

Word Count: 2,279 words

Warning(s): **LOOK HERE** depictions of mental illness/poor mental health, yelling

Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley are left on a hunt for something... well, someone quite important. When they find who they were looking for, they are confronted with questions that they have no answer to.

Author's Note: **PLEASE READ THIS** Let's have a serious talk here. This imagine is heavy. I use my personal experiences as a major influence for this (granted that I will not go into detail about that at this time). This is to say that it won't reflect everyone's experience and that is not the goal. This story is not meant to be educational in any capacity and I will not claim as much.

If you are experiencing struggles with your mental health, then I would invite you to skip this story. Please be responsible with the media that you are consuming. Thank you.

NOAH KAHAN - STICK SEASON [WE'LL ALL BE HERE FOREVER] WRITING CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

-------------------

It all started with pacing.

Quite annoying pacing, really.

Crowley had walked- no, sauntered into the bookshop and found Aziraphale pacing the floor.

Over and over. Back and forth.

Annoyingly consistent steps. Floorboards seemed to creak along with each one, no matter how many times before that he had crossed them.

Crowley's voice was slow, "Angel..."

Aziraphale's pacing didn't change much as he hummed in response to Crowley. Crowley's face scrunched up a bit. He wasn't used to Aziraphale's attention not turning immediately to him when he spoke up.

"Angel," he said more firmly. Aziraphale finally looked at him. "What's going on?"

"I haven't seen (Y/n) in some time," the angel replied. "Have you?"

"I was honestly getting suspicious that they just hid in the shelves," Crowley muttered. "I don't visit them outside of your shop, Angel."

Aziraphale frowned even further than before.

"How long has it been?"

"Weeks," he answered simply. "I will admit that I have been getting a bit worried."

"Then, go visit," Crowley suggested. When there wasn't a response, he continued, "You didn't think to do that?"

"I didn't want to intrude!"

"Well, I do," Crowley turned on his heels and began his walk to the door. He stopped when he didn't hear an extra set of footsteps behind him. "Angel."

"Are you... What if they don't want to see us," Aziraphale asked.

"Well, (Y/n) can tell us that to our face," the demon shrugged before continuing his path out.

It wasn't until they started walking that the pair realized that neither one of them truly knew where (Y/n) lived. They had been told small details. Colors of curtains, what books were on shelves, the collection of notebooks that they always seemed to have. However, beyond that, the demon and angel had not thought much about where their dear friend lived.

Why would they when (Y/n) spent more time in the bookshop than they ever did in their own home?

It took some time- and a small miracle- before the pair found themselves outside an apartment door.

There was a small welcome mat sitting before their feet. It had been clearly well-loved. It had followed (Y/n) from place to place. An old gift from a parent that was meant to symbolize being a proper adult for the first time.

Aziraphale hesitated. He was still thinking about how (Y/n) may simply not want to see the two of them and that this visit would be incredibly intrusive.

He had tried to stop Crowley on the way there in the hopes of avoiding such a fate. He had mentioned that (Y/n) may just be sick, but Crowley reminded him that (Y/n) would still stop by because the pair of them couldn't catch a cold. He suggested that (Y/n) was on a trip, but Crowley mentioned that (Y/n) would have told them to keep them from worrying. Any and all alternative explanations for the unexplained absence fell less on deaf ears and more on a stubborn mind.

Crowley raised his hand and knocked on the door, hitting the wood a little harder than he probably meant to. He'd never admit that though, so it's best not to ask.

There was a long pause. A pause that caused Aziraphale to feel even more like their presence was not wanted. A pause that made Crowley contemplate how much harder he could truly knock on the door.

The two stared at each other. It had been thousands of years since the pair had met each other. A conversation done with no words exchanged was alarmingly common for them.

"(Y/n)," Aziraphale said through the door. "Are you home?"

It was still silent.

"Open the door," Crowley added after a moment. "Aziraphale may not give up, but I am far more stubborn than you think."

(Y/n)- who had confined themself to their couch- knew that the demon was being honest.

With a heavy sigh, they pushed themself off of the couch cushion and trudged to the door. They considered leaving it shut. Leaving the two celestial beings standing on their doorstep until they gave up. Like one would do to missionaries or door-to-door salesmen... which were truly one and the same when you thought about it.

They rolled their eyes at the thought and finally unlocked the door, pulling it open a second later. The angel and demon stood there as if this visit was the most normal thing in the world. Crowley in his standard all-black outfit with his glasses seemingly glued to his face. Aziraphale is ever formal attire, a grin on his face that was meant to offer some silent comfort wherever it may be needed.

"Hi," (Y/n) greeted quietly. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, we haven't seen you for a while," Aziraphale explained. "We were worried."

"Well, I'm fine," (Y/n) didn't even bother to question the angel's statement... no matter how certain they were that the demon would never admit to feeling the same worry as Aziraphale had. "You two can go."

"What's going on," Crowley asked.

"Nothing. I'm just tired and want to be left alone."

Crowley raised an eyebrow at them.

"Please, just go."

"When will we be seeing you again," Aziraphale asked.

"I don't know."

"Do you need anything?"

"No."

"Can we come in?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Why would you want to?"

"Because we're your friends and we care for you-"

"Friends would respect my boundaries when I asked them to leave."

Crowley scoffed. "Not if they got a proper look at you."

"Thanks," (Y/n) replied sarcastically. They knew how they looked. How the bags under their eyes looked and how their clothes looked and their skin and their hair. They knew.

"Tell us what's going on," Crowley pushed.

"There's nothing to tell."

"I don't believe you."

"That's not my problem."

Aziraphale tried to step in, "(Y/n), we just want to help-"

"Well, I don't want your damn help!"

The door slammed shut in front of them.

Another silent conversation was enough for both of them to be fully prepared to break in. This kind of anger was not common from (Y/n). (Y/n) was typically very levelheaded. They made a point to be so. It was meant to keep the angel and demon from picking too many pointless fights.

Crowley vaguely moved his hand to ensure the door had unlocked before going to walk inside. Aziraphale walked in awkwardly, making sure to close and lock the door behind the two of them.

(Y/n) jumped at the sound of the door opening. "What is wrong with you both?"

"You're lying to us," Crowley said simply.

"Oh my..."

"(Y/n)," Aziraphale's voice was much softer than Crowley's. "I promise that we're only trying to help-"

"Fine, then help me," (Y/n) stepped even closer to them both. They both seemed puzzled at (Y/n)'s reaction. "Go ahead. Angel and demon, right? Do one of your little miracles and fix me! Rewire my brain! Adjust all of the chemicals and impulses! Make me suddenly feel better! Get me to stop feeling like such... crap!"

The pair fell silent as they caught sight of the tears building in (Y/n)'s eyes. How long had (Y/n) been holding this in? How blind had the two of them truly been?

"Go on!"

Aziraphale spoke up first, "(Y/n)... I- I can't-"

"Fine, what about you?" they turned to Crowley. "Or is this all part of Hell's hope of causing suffering and torment? Is that why you won't properly help me?"

Crowley felt guilt begin to sink in his stomach like a weight. "(Y/n)-"

"What's Heaven's excuse," they turned back to Aziraphale. "The race of angels that claim to want to protect the humans and all of God's creations... what's their excuse for... this?!"

Aziraphale didn't have a response.

"What is it? Some garbage excuse about God wanting his bravest soldiers to face the hardest battles?"

He didn't want to respond. There wasn't a response that wasn't going to sound like some variation of exactly that.

"Because I don't want to be brave!" they continued shouting. "I am so tired of being brave and strong and calm and controlled! I am so tired! So stop acting like you can fix it!"

Any further attempt at conversation from Aziraphale or Crowley got interrupted by (Y/n) storming out of the living room. The next sound was the slamming of (Y/n)'s bedroom door.

The silence after the fact was nothing short of suffocating.

Admittedly, it was foolish of (Y/n) to assume that the pair would give up at the sound of a slamming door. The two had been around for far too long to let such an action truly stop them.

When they opened the bedroom door, (Y/n) was lying on their side, back facing the door. They were shaking a bit, clearly crying or overwhelmed or both.

Crowley stayed behind as Aziraphale stepped forward.

"(Y/n)...," Aziraphale said softly.

No response.

"I know that you don't believe that we can help you, but you have to understand why we can't just leave you alone right now."

Still no answer, but there was some kind of small shift as (Y/n) wiped their eyes.

"You know... if there's one thing that I've learned about humanity," Aziraphale explained, "then it's that they are creatures of profound hope."

(Y/n) closed their eyes. They had been told to hold onto hope. They had been told to look on the bright side. It always felt so pointless. Almost condescending.

"But I know that they commonly will hide themselves away in the absence of it," he continued. "That there's this embarrassment that comes with finding oneself without hope. And I think that such a thought leads to such loneliness that it makes the hope even harder to find."

There was still no response.

He hesitated for a few moments longer before sitting on the mattress next to them. "I am not going to demand that you complete some search for hope now. I think that you will find it when you need it most. I am going to ask that you don't isolate yourself. Not from us."

Crowley was still in the doorway, leaning against it as he listened to the angel talk. He knew that Aziraphale was much better at this kind of thing. Who was Crowley to speak on not isolating when that was all he had done for most of the time since he had fallen from Heaven?

Aziraphale didn't feel like he was the right person for this moment. Not in the silence that followed his words. He felt as if he had failed. As if (Y/n) would tell them to leave again and he would have to finally accept defeat in this situation.

He was about to push himself off of the bed but didn't get the chance before (Y/n) sat up and suddenly jumped forward. They wrapped him in a tight hug, hiding their face in his shoulder. He hugged them back as he glanced at Crowley.

Crowley stepped forward, letting his mere presence be a comfort. Physical affection in a time like this was never something that Crowley was particularly good at. In all fairness, he had never really had to be. There were two people in this world that he cared about enough to even entertain the idea of such an action.

"Thank you," (Y/n) muttered into Aziraphale's shoulder.

"You're welcome," he mumbled back. "How about you lay down here and I will go make you some tea... maybe a light lunch?"

(Y/n) leaned back and wiped their eyes before nodding. "Okay."

"Good," he nodded before standing up.

(Y/n) didn't speak up until Aziraphale was at the door, "I'm sorry."

The two looked at (Y/n) with confused expressions.

"For yelling at you both," they explained. "You two didn't deserve that. You were only trying to help."

"It's quite alright," Aziraphale promised, nodding with a gentle grin on his face.

There was a pause and a pointed look from Aziraphale before Crowley spoke up, "Consider it forgotten."

(Y/n) nodded before going to lay back down on the mattress.

After taking a deep breath, Crowley rounded the corner of the bed, going to lie on the other side of them. He plopped down on his back, legs thrown over each other rather lazily as he tried to relax into the mattress.

"So, what's the plan," (Y/n) asked, listening to the distant sound of Aziraphale waltzing around their kitchen as if he belonged there. "You two are just going to stay here?"

"Yup," Crowley replied. "You're stuck with us."

(Y/n) sniffled and wiped their nose. "At least take your shoes off if you're going to lay in my bed."

A small chuckle escaped the demon as he sat up for long enough to pull off his shoes. When he laid down, he reached over and grabbed their hand. He offered a small grin. Maybe the gentlest gesture that he had done in hundreds or thousands of years.

(Y/n) accepted it, merely moving closer and resting against his shoulder. "Thank you, Crowley."

"Yeah, yeah," he murmured, pretending to be completely unbothered by the situation. "Just don't go telling people about it."

"Your secret is safe with me."

"Good."

By the time Aziraphale had made it back with tea, (Y/n) was in a light sleep, hand still clasped tightly in Crowley's as they did so.

He set the dishes on the bedside table and moved to sit with the pair on the mattress. A quiet comfort for the time being.

And for once, (Y/n) found fighting that isolation to not be nearly as terrifying as it had once been.

They just needed somebody to truly hear them and still be stubborn enough to stay.

-------------------

Navigation Guide

What I Write For

Some Original Characters