Tumgik
#ugh. I just would rather not hear the words at all than have to costantly see ‘ily/lov u/etc’ from my friends n stuff cuz it just feels so
madaracore · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
#sad pou hours#jk thats like every hour of my life#dont read im just being stupid and miserable snd dumb#so like normal. Online diary in place of therapy#i just need to get it out so i can stop feeling this way!#okay? ok.#im trying NOT to feel shelved away and unloved but its really really hard and its getting really REALLY much harder#* is basically my only saving grace. Hes the only person lately who seems to show care and interest unprompted#and it does wonders for my self esteem#its. Really nice to be able to hear I Love You fully and unobjectively from someone just bc they want me to hear it#bc i dont get things like that v often. im So touch and affection starved it makes me throw up#and ik its gross and just. Way too clingy#ugh. I just would rather not hear the words at all than have to costantly see ‘ily/lov u/etc’ from my friends n stuff cuz it just feels so#Superficial. which is a Dumb ass reaction I Know but. ugh. whatever.#im just tired. of being completely isolated and then being shelved by people on top of that. its hard. but ik im not the most personable or#enjoyable person so ig i cant blame other ppl#i constantly feel like a whimpering dog at the pound.#its hard watching everyone around me be loved and spend time with each other while im stuck on the outside.#like damn all my irl ‘friends’ constantly go out and have fun with each other snd the only time they think of me is when lizzie pity-invites#me lol. the message has NOT been clearer! i can try all i want and ill still be last place <3#i think im gonna go back to ripping myself open i dont have anything else
0 notes