#uhhh yeah writing for complex relationships is my forte i dont think if ive ever mentioned that to the homestucks but i have many thoughts

[mystxmomo]

Re: the importance of Dave getting to be brothers with Dirk

I see a lot of fics dig into the Angst Factor of trying to befriend/be family with a living reminder of the guy who made your childhood hell, and the unease Dave would experience anytime Dirk displayed any characteristics that were similar to Bro. And like, that perspective does definitely make sense, but I also think there’s an additional layer where getting to see Dirk’s similarities to Bro is actually healing in a way?

Because Dirk is so deeply ridiculous and uncool, and I think having some of Bro’s traits reframed in that context would really help chip away at any of Dave’s lingering childhood idolization of him—without having to turn to flat-out demonizing a guy who, as you mentioned, Dave absolutely at his core can’t actually hate as much as he thinks he should.

And as much as he might have unpacked it on the meteor, “Bro is cool” was one of the foundational axioms for most of Dave’s life, and some honest to god evidence to the contrary would be a thing to behold. Like, Dirk takes his gloves off, and Dave gets to realize that Bro must have had those stupid looking tan lines too.

Dave, watching Dirk (who has only had three hours of sleep in the last week) accidentally soldering his own hand because he wasn't paying attention to what he was doing and only react with the soft, dissociative: "... Oh. Cool.": "Jesus Fucking Christ."

Dave, watching Dirk jump up with a sword because Karkat yelled a bit too loudly from the other room and he got startled so his reaction was "okay sword": "Jesus fucking Christ."

Dave watching Dirk 404 in the grocery store because the dude forgot his orange juice and just realized it and is looking down at his cart like it was the reason he forgot his orange juice, and for it's carnal sin of messing with his plans it must melt in place: "Alright. Dude come on now."

Yeah no you're absolutely right. Dirk Strider is like a hotspot of neurosis, with a head so messy it makes the goddamn DSM look like a check list. He's such a ridiculous fucking person it's unreal.

Here's something contriversal, and perhaps even brave I'll bring up. Apologies ahead of time I have a lot of thoughts on the complexities of how abuse is handled in fiction so you're getting me in my zone.

Even in au's where there's only bro. No Dirk, no game, Dave grew up in Bro's care and has to come to terms with the circumstances of his home life? He needs to come to terms with the fact that Bro is, just, absolutely fucking ridiculous. Just, as a person. Who likes puppets that much? Bro works in the puppet porn sex industry. He centered the entirety of his abuse around the movie Saw and left deranged muppet babies comics around the house for Dave to find. Dave needs to, in any reality, have that moment where he realizes that bro isn't this larger than life hero, and he isn't the be all end all of evil. He's just a horribly fucked up person who did horrible things. Because the grandiose is harder to come to terms with then the humane.

Another mistake I think a lot of people make when writing for abuse, with as tempting as it is to do if you haven't experienced it yourself, is make it so that literally every experience Dave had with Bro is bad. Familial abuse is ridiculously fucking complex like that, and would just add to the mixed feelings Dave would have about bro. We know bro canonically kept up with Dave's comics, and taught him how to work turntables. I think it's absolutely crucial when writing for the Strider brothers to give those moments in there, and not taint them with some looming dread. Having these moments doesn't negate the fact that abuse happened, and only adds to the complexity of the situation.

I think the final thing I'll add is?? I think, bro did genuinely care about Dave. Perhaps even love him. And I don't think there's a catch to that. I think that love and abuse are not mutually exclusive. People, parents especially, can and do often hurt the ones they love in an attempt to "better" them. There's an argument to be had about whether or not that they actually love you, or the idea of you, but it's love nonetheless. And I think THAT would fuck Dave up. Because I think, despite (and perhaps even because of) the way he was raised, his idea of love ends up being incredibly gentle. He's such.. a natural pacifist, who cares so strongly. The fact that someone can love, and hurt the ones they love, would fuck with him. Let alone the fact that it happened to him.