#uhoh i think dream knows well not all at least lol

[flooffydergen]

FINALLY DONE!..... For now *Evil laughter*

..... Oh well You die you die not my fault

Lol The spell didn't Completely take over it boy did I make dream pretty!

[zathechaosgod]

Favourite Stream Moments!

Streamed by Philza on Twitch on Tuesday 22nd of December

Dream smp pog!

House arrest not pog ):

“I’m under house arrest. That’s the stream.”

“I’m already a hermit” (are you tho, philza?)

we’re barely starting and little blade is already begging for a jailbreak lol

phil really wants to break down the “you </3 little P” sign down, bc it ruins his view lol

“mysterious” chest in the middle of his house

(it’s just techno promising to break him out)

phil is making it really obvious he “does not know who that could have left there”

he’s throwing out the technoblade wanted posters :(

he is not allowed to leave, but that doesn’t mean he can’t make a basement

bright pink coral tunnel down the bottom of your house, not suspicious at all lmao

he’s placing the decoy down agin purely to be able to wear his dept strider boots for the water thingy down to the basement lmao

heartattack delivered right to your home, courtesy of ghostbur and friend

annnd ghostbur came to deliver friend then logged off again lol

okay now he keeps logging on to a) check on friend and b) keep giving phil heart attacks

“today is gonna be a weird one”

aaand phil did not, in fact, go down far enough rip

but at least he’s making the “dad playing with his trains in the basement” thing more accurate

lmao phil already has a “yes” ready when wilbur logs on now to ask about friend

“i don’t like the drippy. lemme see if i can fix the drip”

...uhoh friend is gone (nvm wilbur is being chaotic again)

phil had a very very extremely chaotic thought about his basement: phil knows how to break bedrock

(i personally think that would be pog)

yeah it’s wilbur sabotaging it and yoinking phil’s doors

“i’m about to just break out the belt on a ghost. how do i hit a ghost”

*dono saying tubbo said bedrock breaking is patched on this server* *phil starts to cackle like a supervillain* “i guarantee you there’s a way”

spawnproof basement pog?

bc there’s now 40k viewers, time for the sbi explanation around the things techno said (35 minutes in!)

friend is gone crab rave

“little bit wider? yeah okay” *meanwhile in-game chat: FRIEND IS DEAD?*

(wilbur (attempting at) speaking dutch to fundy pog)

tommy is fine, just taking a bit of a break bc yt plus streaming so often is a lot

“i’m thinking bedrock boys” (does he realise??)

WILBUR STOP STEALING HIS DOORS

a dono explained that people were spamming “glatt” bc of the friend = glatt theory, and he instinctively pulled out his sword while staring at friend pog

phil’s only criteria for sbi canon is “does this make me laugh”

lmao tubbo came while phil was in the basement so he just,,, zoomed out of the basement, took off his armour and took three attempts to put the ankle monitors back on

phil laughed at techno interrupting dream with subscribers and techno came by to say “no plot, only subscribers” lmao

uh oh he’s threatening to make a fridge bc he’s getting stir crazy from house arrest

tubbo’s here again uh oh

tubbo begging to still be friends meanwhile phil is like “you locked me up and tried to kill me”

curse of binding for plot purposes pog

ghostbur is here to break down the door as well pog

phil’s sentence ends on christmas day (pog?)

ghostbur is confused why tubbo is being mean and also fully willing to canon death tubbo

ghostbur is going to make some “toast”

friend doesn’t fit through doors, so ghostbur is attempting to convince phil he’s not fitting through doors, while leaving through them to climb onto the roof

phil is immediately jumping down the basement to try to lower the durability of the boots

“oh tubbo is here! hello mr president- oh wait we don’t like him” *immediately starts to shoot tubbo*

tubbo has a helmet as well and ghostbur is attempting to sabotage it while also suggesting tubbo stream snipe to check he actually put on the right one

then suggested phil chance scenes to just his facecam lmaooo

lolol tubbo got an ad

ghostbur put on the helmet (and now has to stay with phil)

meanwhile ranboo is staring through the window (again)

phil should’ve just put on the helmet lmao

uh oh tubbo fell down the water hole to the basement

lmao phil threatening to block it off and lock tubbo in

GHOSTBUR GOT ANT TO STAB HIM “NON-CANONICALLY” TO TAKE THE HELMET OFF

wilbur got a headmounted gopro bc he wants to start doing parkour bc of videos phil sent him??

phil enchanted another helmet lmao

oh tubbo actually wants the binding one back to put on ranboo “bc it’s funny”

TUBBO PUT IT ON HIMSELF LMAOOOOOO

(SUCKS TO SUCK)

“i am the monitor helmet now”

lol phil and tubbo both threatening to canon death the other (and tubbo accidentally put on the other ankle monitors as well)

it’s almost tubbo’s birthday pog!

the bone blocks are so ugly tubbo why

(phil is already slowly losing his mind over it)

phil is jumping down to lower durability again lol

ghostbur actually teaching tubbo l’manberg was all about freedom to do whatever someone wants

tubbo suggesting “philsmas”, a holiday around phil’s name?

PHIL JUST SENDING “L” IN CHAT AT RANBOO WHO IS SUFFERING UNDER ALL WHITE TEXTURE PACK

techno is still in chat lmao

obscure comedy songs pog?

also cave basement pog

momza is here! to kidnap his phone?? (probalby for apple pay lmao)

LMAOO PHIL FOUND A CAVE AND PUNCHED TUBBO INTO A CREEPER

wilbur clowning tubbo about his guardian farm lol

“i need to come see your farm at some point. oh wait-“

they’re ignoring rp rn and going to see it now lmao

RANBOO LMAOOO “oh we don’t care about the law anymore? awesome”

wilbur doesn’t like marvel movies

phil is finally revealing the truth to tubbo and wilbur: dream smp is just florida

lmaoo phil freehanding the “placing the boat on the ice path” while tubbo was doing his staring thing

wilbur denying that anyone from the dream smp is from florida

ranboo is british now

phil why would you actually tell tubbo about trying to find a cactus

wilbur trying to get tubbo psyched about running people over once he learns how to drive

wilbur singing dancing queen to tubbo

lmao an entire torch grid on the floor and tubbo just leaves an entire platform until above it

tubbo gets all his food from the guardian farm lmao

lmaooo phil is taking damage and thus lowering the durability on the boots from the guardian farm

phil was about to make a break for it lmao

techno coming to stream soon pog??

wilbur soot christmas album please?!?

“all i want for christmas” has the same chord progression as “creeper” by radiohead lmao

phil just stole tnt lmao

tubbo knows about the magma blocks but he doesn’t realise the actual guardians lmao

meanwhile wilbur is adlibbing all i want for christmas on his guitar (also hayloft)

phil enderpearl + tridenting out and tubbo being impressed before he realises lmaoooo

“what’s the point to the tracker bracelet if you don’t know where he is” good point wilbur

there’s only a few points of durability left

phil is a hot commodity now lmao

wilbur attempting to give an ad for dominos lmao

morse code pog

wilbur claims to know sign language bc there’s no way to confirm it bc his camera isn’t on and he’s not streaming

wilbur arg is so pog btw

“a child” *murders it*

anyway they’re on the way to the blaze farm

tubbo is only now realising phil is always in hardcore mode

tommy is here now as well ig?

and phil destorying the boots by standing on a magma block continues

wilbur is ordering domino’s in an australian accent again

tommy just wants vengeance

*que phil zooming in on his own face in despair*

LMAO TOMMY LOSING HIS MIND OVER TUBBO TURNING SEVENTEEN

wilbur messed up the morse code coords lmao

lmao phil has been whispering his location to techno and techno is only now discovering that tubbo is with him lmao

phil looking at the war crime sign and taking out his bow while considering shooting tubbo to reset it to zero lmao

ranboo is still just staring through the window???

techno Suffering due to the not lore vibe of the streamm lmao

“im gonna kill him as soon as his birthday starts” “pog”

techno got discovered and had to kill tubbo crab rave

TUBBO DIDNT EVEN KNOW TECHNO WAS LIVE LMAO

meanwhile phil just continues working on his basement???

this whole thing is a trainwreck

in the back wilbur and tommy are still talking about tubbo’s iranian birthday

LMAO TUBBO PUT THE MONITOR HELMET BACK ON

tommy vibes with lizards dropping their tails

phil is just,,, continuing his basement?

“tommy you’re not actually a lizard, you know” “watch me”

“what pizza did you get?” “it’s the none of the business pizza” “oohhhhhh”

back at the really bad small talk questions huh

PHIL IS ESCAPING THROUGH A STRIP MINE HE FOUND LMAO

TECHNO IS BACK LETS GO

the boots are broken lets gooooooo

time to haste II out of here pog

instead of running away they immediately go right back into the middle of l’manberg to check tubbo’s emergency bunker bruh

lmao techno polling his chat but literally all of the numbers are getting caught by his spam filter

techno propaganda in the bunker poggg

ranboo just watching this unfold lmao

“DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES” (...does techno realise this really just broadcasts his location to the enitre smp)

hound army pogggg

techno pretending to be ranboo to tubbo when ranboo is literally right there

phil is out of invis rip

CAPTAIN PUFFY IS JUST RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER LMAO

LMAO PHIL SEEING TOMMYS TOWER RENDER IN and the house tommy and ghostbur made

ranboo wanting to gift phil something and phil just like “i am a fugitive now :)”

techno defending tommy as seperate from c!tommy poggg

lmao phil saw the fanart of techno interrupting dream in the bird meme format

aww it got buried in his likes rip sub general come thruuuu

lol the bell in the background

ranboo using his memory problems to be able to visit phil lmao

phil trying to gently ask techno if ranboo can visit and techno immediately thinking of ways to kill ranboo lmao

“sure, but i can’t guarantee your safety” “alrighty!”

420 SUBS POG

BLEND W WHILE WE WAIT FOR RANBOO

THE NEW ZOMBIE VILLAGER IS A NITWIT LMAO RIP

“were going to a nicer place! it’ll be finneee”

“this must be how tubbo feels all the time, I’m just gonna execute this guy, whooptidoo”

it’s like the villager knows lmao, he really doesn’t want to go to the lava pool

why do phil and techno murder villagers every time they play together

phil thought he duped netherite for a second lol just imagine

TECHNO’S CONFLICT BETWEEN ZOMBIE VILLAGER BUT ALSO BABY ZOMBIE NEAR PHIL LMAOO

“just a side effect of the vaccine”

techno going “he had five years of preperation last time!!” when aksed why he’s so defensive of phil regarding the baby zombies

“i see an unsupervised child in walmart and just BANG jump kick”

ranboo and techno blocking up the child to prevent him from bonding with adults lmaoo

LMAO TECHNO IS SCARING THE CHILD WHILE RINGING THE CHANNEL MEMBER BELL

phil is losing his mind laughing at it lmaooo

actively traumatising the child to make it grow up pog?

from zombie to corporate zombie pog?

“grandchild who i hate”

rip all of fundy’s family bonds

ranboo thought he had snow blindness for five min but really he was just looking at a bone block tubbo had placed in front of him

which,,, is a really ranboo thing to do i’m learning

“AAAH” “you’re alright?” “yeah but there’s not an igloo anymore”

techno leading zombies to the villagers to see if one of them will change (they just die on easy mode)

lmao techno’s brother asked him to be quiet and techno is like,,, “this is literally my job”

fundy came into the call to beg ranboo for stone then asked if he could watch techno doing human experimentation

phil told him to just get anything he needed from phil’s house bc he’s not coming back anytime soon

LMAO FUNDY’S MIKE CUTTING OUT AS HE THANKED HIM

ranboo and techno discussing how many times he’s canon killed ranboo this week (it’s eight)

PHIL FOUND THE TO DO LIST LMAOO

back to traumatising the child

“we might have inflicted just enough trauma onto this child to make it become funny” “oh so it can become a minecraft youtuber”

tubbo has been muted on call for a while now lmao

it’s so funny to find him just chillin with the same people he tried to kill/imprison like an hour ago

“ANARCHISTS DON’T BELIEVE IN LABOUR LAWS LETS GO”

LMAO PHIL COMPLAINED ABOUT NOT HAVING SHULKER BOXES AND TECHNO JUST CASUALLY GOING “well punz has one and he’s logged on soo...”

seriously tho where did techno get that END ROD (i watched that stream, end rods where not among the stuff drista pulled out)

“you’re just canonically a villager now”

you just become an npc when you run out of canon lives lmaoooo

they’re going back to the hound army and techno is attempting to lose/kill ranboo lol

“don’t you animatic line on me now”

“this is like manhunt only i’m following you and you’re trying to kill me”

phil is at the bees and meanwhile techno and ranboo are “roleplaying” trying to secretly get techno to phil without ranboo knowing

someone who is not ranboo is actually literally outside lmao

they’re tag teaming jack manifold now what did he do to deserve this rip

they’re trying to tell jack it was punz now lmao

they’ve collected antfrost and fundy and they’re all mobbing punz now????

punz in chat telling them he’s not at his house lmao

fundy losing his mind about how quick techno types (which, fair)

ANARCHY EMPIRE

literally the enitre smp is waiting on punz meanwhile he’s just 800 blocks deep in the nether

THEY’RE GOING AFTER JACK AGAIN WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THIS

he got into the holy land so they’re just booing them now lmaooo

“one of us kills him and none of us tell”

ANTFROST ISNT EVEN IN THE VC LMAOO

ponk just,,, backing away when he sees the crowd in full netherite attempting to murder each other lmaooo

puffy is here now too?

ANTFROST PUSHING FUNDY INTO THE HELL HOLE

JACK MANIFOLD KILLED IN THE HOLY LAND

he tried to make it uncanon and got told he didn’t have that power because he misses half the important events lmao

well that was an anticlimactic, punz got killed by jack ig

back to jack getting jumped for content lmao

puffy got the kill on him “merry christmas!!!”

ponk yoinked half his stuff, puffy took the rest and fundy got the chicken lol

“i think we learned our lesson on killing in the holy land today” “yeah it makes instant content”

RANBOO IN CHAT LMAO “this is really just kindergarten but with swords”

JACK IS GACK NOW HE LOST ALL HIS CANON LIVES

“third generation pokemon”

“i just wanted to build a basement today”

this was all actually not planned for today lmao, phil really was just going to build a train set and armor stand dolls on stream today

phil finding what remains of hotter girl

back to chill phil vibes now pog

“days since last war crime, zero”

phil telling techno he’s going back to the base and then like,, backtracking to cover it up when fundy and jack are still in the call

“we’ve got an orphan in the basement working for free”

phil making sure techno repeated the “du du du du” lol

PHIL STILL HASNT SEEN THE HOUNDS LMAO

phil asking what techno used the honey for and techno going “...food”

“you’re not hiding anything diabolical from me, are you techno?” “would i do that”

TECHNO IS SHOWING HIM THE WITHER BASE

the wall actually looked more suspicious before the door lmao

love the way phil goes POG then considers they needs more soulsand

“this might as well be a server wipe”

ANARCHIST BEST FRIENDS LETS GOOO

“FIRST CANON DEATH TO THE DOOR”

phil isn’t allowed to end yet bc techno is raiding him lol

also rip the scripted phil leaving was def not planned today

phil knowing techno needs to eat before techno actually realises he’s hungry lmao

time to raid fundy!!!

[gimme-a-hand-scaevola]

A review of the book The Rook by Daniel O’Malley that nobody ever asked for...

Ok so @chemcat92 recommended me this book and I listened to it on audiobook and I just... have a lot of thoughts. I haven’t read the sequel and I’m torn if I will. Having watched some AMVs of the show, it’s a hard pass. My review is going to be in three parts:

1. The plot

2. Wasted Potential - In General

3. Wasted Potential - Gestalt the Most Wasted Character Potential I’ve Read since Drizzt Do’Urden 

Obviously spoilers under the cut. 

Part 1: The Plot - i.e. I think Daniel discovered books four days before he started writing 

Ok so... The plot of this book. It starts off STRONG I will give it that. Myfanwy Thomas wakes up in a rainy part surrounded by bodies wearing latex gloves and no memories. She soon discovers her previous self lost her memories but because she was organized and knew it was coming, she has eased new Myfanwy’s transition. She gets to choose to stay in her life through letters and then we get an easy way to give flashbacks. Anyway this part RULES. 

Honestly, the book starts strong as hell. Myfanwy discovers she has supernatural powers over people’s nervous systems and is a trained bureaucrat for a supernatural wing of the government. This all runs sort of like a combination of Heroes and Harry Potter in the best way possible. And here is where we find the strongest part of the book: the superpowers. 

We don’t have to look that far to find Heroes type shows or books where everyone has a special ability, so if you’re going to go that route, you’ve gotta bring it. And honestly, Daniel brings it. They powers are cool as hell, they’re inventive, they’re well bounded. I felt like I understood what people’s powers and limitations were. We were in a land with magic, but it never felt cheap. This is going to dovetail into my absolute RANT about Gestalt but give me a sec to get there. 

Ok. So honestly I don’t even have any complaints until the third act. Act one gives us the set up, act two introduced the big bad the Grafters and so far so good. We’ve got good but elitist supernatural guys vs. bad but more egalitarian supernatural guys. We also know that it was someone in the supernatural org (it has a name but the name is so stupid I can’t spell it) that betrayed our protag and stole her memories and they’re still around and teamed up with the evil Grafters. Intrigue?? Don’t know who to trust???? Love it. 

For some reason everyone is either old, or hot, or so inhuman it’s viscerally horrifying. Love this touch. Eleanor from the Good Place taught us that it’s totally free to imagine everyone in a story as super hot. And it is. So they’re all super hot. Love it. Good commitment, Daniel. 

But then we get to Act three. So, this was a big swing on ol Danny’s part because a lot of the effect of this had to do with carrying out mystery. We’d built a lot of tension on the suspense  Who Betrayed Myfanwy. So obviously it’s really important for me to be surprised or at least satisfied with who this is. (As an aside, I would have been ok with guessing correctly, I definitely don’t subscribe to surprise trumping cohesive plot). Ok. With that on paper... like... holy shit. What a stupid “reveal.” 

So in part 1, like the first scene we get of old Myfanwy’s letters giving us context, she says that her apartment at work was inherited from a dude Conrad something that got promoted. And then she says it’s super badly decorated, and later we see it and this shit is straight out of Austin Powers, mirror over a round bed, The Whole Shebang. But she also says that this guy who otherwise is supposed to be very smooth and charismatic like... asks her about the decor.... every time they interact. Every Time They Interact. The second this was mentioned (WHICH IS AFTER WE KNOW SHE WAS BETRAYED) I'm like “oh ok so this guy bugged her room he’s the villain” and I only wasn’t sure because it was WAY too obvious. 

But no. He’s the villain. He has a big reveal where he’s like “AND I BUGGED YOUR ROOM” and I'm like... well... yeah. Of course you did. But here’s the thing tho... Myfanwy’s like... WHOLE ASS JOB is planning covert ops. So... is she good at her job??? IS SHE???? 

But we also don’t actually show how characters are based on their actions, we are just told how they are. But we will circle back to that in the Gestalt part. That’s honestly the sum of my rant about the plot. It was nothing. It put all its eggs in the basket of the worst most boring reveal of all time. Daniel, I think you might just be boring. 

Part 2: Wasted Potential - Everything but Gestalt who gets a special part to themselves.

The big sin of this book might just be too many good ideas. There’s a lot of characters, they all do cool stuff, but we have like 200 pages, so there wasn’t enough time to do anything with all these guys. I got lost about who was who like 80 times because they’re basically all sneaky hot magic guys. One of them smokes and is a soldier and he seems chill. 

There’s a vampire and he gets a scene and a long intro that reads more like a wiki page. Like it was interesting but you would have lost NOTHING cutting him as a character except that he was cool. You never ever believe that he was the bad guy because it’s super well established in the Certified Back Story that he could give two shits about the politics of the humans. He’s there bc he’s an adorably young vampire who is very curious so his dad set him up as a powerful government agent as though it was enrolling him in a prep school. Love it, but again, we don’t.... need him around. 

There’s a lady who can walk through dreams and I thought she was going to be important based on the fanfare of her introduction but then we forget about her basically entirely. 

There’s a whole American wing that we also only see anything interesting about in side story. Basically the world building is really good. Like pretty superb to be honest. But it’s bracketing a story that is nothing so it makes even good characters seems really random. And that bring us to:

Part 3: My Darling, Gestalt. My Type. My Weakness. What a Sad Little Thing You Are (Also misogyny)

Alright... if the rest of this review wasn’t salty enough for you... let the salt begin. Gestalt. So named because of the word meaning larger than the sum of its parts. And so they were destined to be. And so they were most definitely not. So Gestalt’s whole thing is that they are one consciousness with four bodies. They can either control one body at a time and sort of shut the others down or they can control them all at once but that becomes harder if one of them requires more attention than another, like if one is in a fight. 

Two twins (men), one fraternal brother, and a sister. If anyone is thinking “uhoh, only one girl, hmm can Daniel handle that? Seems like maybe some Smurfette style misogyny-lite is coming,” you would be wrong. Super wrong. Because it is not misogyny-lite. It’s aggressive Fight-Me-In-A-Perkins-Parking-Lot misogyny. So go fuck yourself, Dan. 

Alright, so to number Gestalt’s sins. 

1. Scrape off some of that intro mustard.

They’re introduced in the LONGEST fucking passage I’ve ever read telling me that this dude is hard to talk to and weird. Like, I’m in an urban fantasy book already, I'm all set. Also... bitch SHOW ME they’re weird. Like can I see some interactions that give me second hand embarrassment??? No. It is actually never uncomfortable to talk to Gestalt. I only know that because people are super fucking rude about them. But it is never earned. So I don’t feel sympathy when people are like “Oh noooo you have to spend a car ride with Gestalt? Ewwwww sorry.” I’m just like, “What’s your fucking problem? They seem fine.” 

2. They’re supposed to be Bad At Planning but when?? 

Alright so there ARE times they’re bad at planning and we will GET TO THAT. But it’s only post-reveal like... what we are told during a monologue that they were dumb as shit. And that wasn’t even like not being good w/ details like it’s implied they are, it’s literally like doing dumb ass stuff. And it felt more like my bud Dan didn’t have a good handle on why stuff was dumb as rain than Gestalt being silly. 

Also.... this is a stupid use of this sort of character. They’re dumb and bad at planning??? THEY’RE A JOINT CONSCIOUSNESS why would you waste that making them “Good at kicking ass.” ugh. Fine. 

3. They get sidelined IMMEDIATELY 

So a guy named Pumice Stone or Kettle or Lil boy Bad At This or something outs that Gestalt is working with the Grafters because he like.... wasn’t paying attention. It was boring. But anyway so they capture two of the bodies and then stop addressing Gestalt until the end. They have one weird scene where the protagonist like.... freaks them out but ok. Fine. Why is Gestalt so Yelly. Why are so many villains in this book yelly. Ew. 

4. The REVEAL MONOLOGUE. 

I know this is a long ass review already. But my Feelings Must be Heard. So in the end when Conrad surprises no one but “smart” Myfanwy that he was the bad guy, we also get a reveal from the surviving Gestalt bodies that:

a. There’s an incest baby

b. They’re afraid of death

c. They’re so phenomenally stupid I have lost all interest in them

So... this is where the misogyny comes in. I’ll note here that the only time we interact w/ Eliza, the special girl body, is when she takes a carried to Hogwarts the super secret magic school with Myfanwy and she doesn’t do anything except we get the internal note that she’s like... gained weight. This is the misogyny-lite we expect. (And no, Dan, you don't get any points bc a female character is the only pleased she got pudgy bc YOU wrote the female character so we’re all set there.)

And then we discover that the weird blonde (lol oh yeah they’re all hot blondes) baby that Conrad “Evil Austin Powers” British-Last-Name has with his weird wife is actually a Gestalt body that Eliza had after she boned down with her other body who is genetically a brother and consciously herself. 

K. Ok. I have. Ok. Alright. Daniel. Ok. 

SUBPART A: My Feelings about Gestalt: Oh Eliza, my darling, my dear, would that I could bring you Justice

So after Eliza is shot dead one of the interchangeable boy bodies of Gestalt yells at Myfanwy about how terrible that is bc it was the only body who could bear children so now THE HORROR they’ll die. 

For god’s fucking sake Daniel O’Malley. What the fuck is your goddamn problem. You LITERALLY wrote a Smurfette Syndrome character who is only important because she can have babies. She is literally just there to be a baby-box. What the fuck. Get fucking wrecked. Thank GOD Starz cut your program and fuck the Aurealis Awards for giving you an award for this fucking book. But they’re a sci-fi award so this is probably super progressive for them. I was pleasantly annoyed by the basic nature of this book until this part. Now I am just done with your content. This was more overtly sexist that Supernatural. So... real swing and a miss. 

ANYWAY FORTUNATELY this opens a whole new can of worms that I get to ruthlessly mock certified Basic Bitch Daniel O’Malley for. 

SubPart 2: Gestalt Raises Interesting Philosophical Questions Daniel Isn’t Smart Enough to Address

So, remember, I would have cut this dude more slack if he didn’t do that to Eliza. Gestalt, to be honest, this whole review is dedicated to what you Could Have Been. 

Interesting Questions or Comments We Could Have Asked:

Does having a baby being one of five of your bodies affect your consciousness? That thing doesn’t have object permanence? Is there like an intellectual cost to having another baby body? No, we don’t care. I think we just had there be a baby bc “Weird sister-sex” was as interesting as Daniel could get. Side Note: The obvious question of “lol haha lol is it incest or mAsTurBation is not going to be addressed here bc it is literally too boring to consider)

Does having a body who textually is said to have post-partum depression affect your joint consciousness? If not, why bring it up?? Bc she has “weird lady disease” is that why???

Are they....afraid of death????? Why didn’t you ever bring this up? Why have they showed only excitement at the prospect of very dangerous fights up to this point? Why are all four bodies in the field. 

WHY ARE ALL FOUR BODIES IN THE FIELD. Ok so here is one of those points that is definitely stupid but stupid in a dumb as dirt way. If you were afraid to lose your baby-box body, why would you send her into battle? 

Why didn’t they freeze a bunch of her eggs? In fact, why did she bear it at all? Why put your one female body that you only want for babies through that sort of danger? Canonically they all get paid an absurd amount and Gestalt is paid for each body, they can afford a surrogate.  

Why let a weird dude who is at best contemptuous of you raise your baby body? Why wouldn’t you want to do that? Doesn’t that give him a huge amount of leverage over you? 

Is the quality fo Gestalt’s form destined to decline if genetically they can only make more bodies by full genetic sibling offspring? Does that scare them? Again... does their physical brain affect their consciousness? 

If so... maybe that would be a good reason for them to want to join up with the Grafters who are way ahead in genetic research and engineering. 

ANYWAY Gestalt is sexist as shit and boring as hell and had SO MUCH WEIRD POTENTIAL. 

In summary: It was definitely fun but Fuck you, Daniel O’Malley