#ummm excuse while i cry over them. um. what if i wrote something about them. umm

[maikhiwi00]

not me adding every ha*ash breakup song to my driftceptor playlist EHWEHWHEH

[smcc212]

Coming out

Warning- angst, self hatred, internalised homophobia, fluff. Soft!Tommy, Soft!Polly, pretty much Soft! Shelby family. Also, not proofread and I wrote most of this drunk sooo....

Word count-1,127

A/N- I’ve being going through some shit at school because I’m bi and I’m in love with a girl, so I wrote a fic about being Finn’s twin sister and being lesbian. I hope you enjoy!! Xoxo

P.S. I wrote this on my phone as my computer is broken so I can’t add a read more opinion, sorry xoxo

Let me know if you want to be tagged!

You sat in your aunt Pol’s living room, barely listening to anything your family was saying. You were too busy thinking about the person you had fallen in the love with; the girl you’d fallen in love with. Her name was Amber. You’d think about her all day and all night. You knew it was wrong to feel this way about girl, but you did anyway. You tried everything, anything to stop feeling like that about her, but nothing worked. The only person that knew you felt that way was your twin, Finn. The two of you had each other’s back, no matter what happened. You knew he’d keep your secret, that you were sure of. But, what you couldn’t do was stop yourself from wanting to be with her. You sat your, as family talked about the business, you thought of Amber; her gorgeous brunette hair, her sweet smile and her breathtaking hazelnut eyes filling your mind.

“(Y/N)!” Tommy shouted, bringing you back to reality. You shook your head, taking a deep, cleansing breath, before being able to turn your attention to your older brother. “What’re you think ‘bout,” Tommy asked, his brows furrowing as he stared at you.

“Nothing, Tom,” You answered far too quickly.

“Tell me the truth, (Y/N),” Tommy said sternly. He knew you were hiding something.

“Uh... it’s, um, nothing you need to worry about, Tom,” You stuttered. Tommy just stared at you, waiting for the truth but you didn’t say anything.

“(Y/N), you can tell us what’s up, we’re your family,” Arthur chimed in, but you didn’t want them to know out of fear that they would disown you and you couldn’t last without your family, you knew that, so you kept it quite.

“If it’s okay, can I go to bed now? I’m really tired to be honest,” You lied, however, your family just nodded and you went to your bed room. As you climbed to stairs, you heard Finn saying he was tired too before you heard his foot steps follow behind yours. You and Finn went into your room, closing your door behind the both of you. You sat on your bed, Finn sat beside you.

“(Y/N), I can’t say I I get it but you’re my sister; you’re my twin, and I’ll be here for you no matter what.” You and Finn didn’t register the mass amount of footsteps that mad it to the outside of your bedroom door as you sobbed in his arms.

Your siblings and aunt whispered quietly about what they thought was wrong with you: maybe a boy at school you liked not liking you, or even liking someone else? Maybe it was not being included in the family business? But no one knew until they heard Finn speak to you again.

“I’m not gonna to lie to you, (Y/N),” They heard him say quietly. “I don’t know how they’ll react, but I’m still gonna be here.”

None of them knew what the hell he was talking about, John was just about the speak up when he heard just what was wrong.

“It doesn’t matter if you like girls instead of boys, you’re still my sister and I’ll love you no matter what; if our family turn their back on you, I’ll leave with you because you shouldn’t feel bad for you love.” Your tears of sadness had stopped, but tears of happiness slowly trickled down your cheeks.

“Thank you, Finn,” You mumbled quietly. The rest of your family outside the door stood there frozen, not from disappointment, but from shock. They didn’t care who you loved, but the idea of how much more danger you were in with that fact, that made them worry for you.

Finn stood up to leave your room after placing a kiss upon your forehead, he headed to the door, stopping as he saw your full family staring back at him. He didn’t know what to do, he just stood there. Completely frozen in one stop. You were about the head downstairs when you saw that Finn was just standing at your door in silence. You sighed.

“What is it, Finn?” You asked, expecting him to have something more to say.

“I...uh.... I think the family already knows,” He mumbled.

“What? How?” You said, walking over to him. You stopped dead in your tracks when you saw your family. “Fuck,” You whispered, your eyes meeting Polly’s. You quickly look to the floor in embarrassment, keeping your eyes their until you felt a hand on your shoulder. You looked up to see Arthur.

“You like-“ He took a breath before continuing. “-girls,” He finished you couldn’t say anything you could only nod your head. “Well... is the there anyone in particular?” He asked, looking to the rest of family, not knowing what to say. You nodded again.

“Is she hot?” John asked, strutting over, a smirk you his face. You smiled slightly.

“Um... yeah,” You mumbled as you looked at John.

“Like, scale of one to ten?” He enquired. You couldn’t believe how unfazed he was, but you were certainly happy about it.

“Twelve,” You replied, a small smile starting to grow on your face. John smirk at you, Arthur had walked back to join the rest of your family. John places his arm round your shoulders.

“Good, ‘cause Shelbys’ don’t go for the ugly ones,” He joked, causing a small laugh to fall from your mouth before Tommy walked over. John unhooked his arm, but still stood beside you.

“Is this what was bothering you downstairs?” Tom asked calmly. You nodded. “(Y/N), we don’t care about that. We’re just worried about the danger that puts you in, okay?” You nodded but still couldn’t look at him. “Look at me,” Tommy said softly, putting his fingers under your chin to make you look at him. Tears burning at your eyes as you did. “Hey, don’t cry.” Tommy’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you towards him as tears fell down your checks.

“I’m sorry, Tommy,” You sobbed. “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?”

“I know it’s not okay, I-I know it’s wrong, b-bu- but I can’t help it,” You murmured as your tears soaked through Tommy’s shirt.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, sweetheart,” Tommy said as you shook your head against. “Hey, look at me.” He pulled back a little, meeting your gaze. “There’s nothing wrong with you, you can’t choose who love, alright? Now come on, your dinners gonna get cold.” You nodded and followed your family downstairs.

Dinner was quite that night, John tried to talk to you about the girl you liked, but every time you would brush it off.

You stood up and took your plate over to the sink, washing it quickly before heading upstairs. When you got to your room you went straight to your bed, curled up in a ball and cried as quietly as you could. You never wanted them to find out like this, you never wanted them to find out period. The thought of you disappointing your family terrified you, they were all you had and they’d done everything for you; you hated that you’d let them down like this. As you cried, you heard a soft knock on your door. Before you had the chance to respond, Tommy and Polly walked in.

You quickly wiped at your eyes to try and hide that you’d keep crying, but your tear stained cheeks and swollen, red eyes gave it away. “Hey,” You sniffed quietly as they cautiously approached the side of your bed.

“Hey, sweet,” Pol said, lowering yourself next to you on the bed. “We just wanted to come check on you.”

“I’m fine,” You lied, trying to smile at them. You failed.

“No you’re not,” Tommy joined to conversation, kneeling beside your bed.

“(Y/N), we want you to know we love you and we don’t care who you love, okay? We’re just worried about you, that’s all.” Pol said, gently stroking your head with her thumb just like she did when you’d cry as a baby.

“Yeah-“ Tommy mumbled, causing you to look in his direction. “-you’re already a Shelby, which means you when in dangerous for the second the business started, but this... this puts you in even more dangerous. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think it’s fine if you don’t like boys, in fact, I’m glad you don’t, but you know this means you can’t go out on dates and get married and family, right?” Tommy said, looking at you with concerned eyes. You meekly nodded your head. “I’ve told you your full live, you need to use your words,” Tommy chuckled slightly. A smile smile tugging at the corners of your lips at the sound.

“Yes, Tom, I know. But... I don’t care. I could date in secret, make everyone think we’re just friends, no one would know,” You tried to argue.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, just not kissing and handing holding and all that in public, ‘Kay?”

“Okay, Tom.” You smiled, as you heard another set of footprints approach your door. You turned to John standing there, a smirk on his lips. “What?” You asked, knowing something what brewing in his mind.

“I was just thinking about all the sleepovers you’ve had,” John began. “And well, all the girls that have slept in this bed with you because none of us thought anything of it.” Your eyes widened as you thought back to when you lost your virginity. You were having a sleepover with your “best friend” in your the very bed you were sitting on now. Shit. You didn’t think they’d figure it out.

Tommy and Polly stood up and joined John at the door, all three of them staring at you. “(Y/N), tell me nothing’s happened at those sleepovers,” Tommy said sternly, but with a little worry coating his voice. Polly’s eyes were just shocked at the thought, and John was grinning ear to ear.

“Ummm, n-no nothing’s happened,” You stuttered making John erupt into laughter, while Tommy and Polly just stared at you. You realised you didn’t sound believable in the slightest, so you just shut up.

“Well, no more sleepovers with girls,” Tommy said firmly, Polly nodded her head as the two of them stared at you.

“That’s some bullshit,” You huffed out without thinking.

“Excuse me?” Tommy asked, his gaze never leaving yours.

“That’s bullshit, I‘ve already... y’know... so it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“(Y/N), put down the shovel,” John laughed.

Polly glared at John before turning back to you. “We don’t if you’ve done it already, it’s not happening.” You opened your mouth to protest, but when Tommy and Polly both stared daggers at you, you shut it and turned around.

“Okay,” You sighed. “Goodnight then.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” Polly cooed.

“Goodnight, shagger,” John joked. “Oww.” You giggled knowing that Polly had hit him round the back of the head.

*

You woke up the next morning and went about your normal day. Going to tend to the horses and Charlie’s stable, buying the Polly told you to get for dinner that night. You were on your way home when John shouted your name and jogged over to you.

“Hey,” You chirped, turning to look at your older brother.

“Hey, Finn said you like a girl called Amber, is that true?” You nodded your head. “Well then, come on.” He signalled for you to follow him so you did, nervous taking control of your full body. You took you back to Charlie’s stables and held his arms open; Amber was there, he hair pinned up and her makeup applied perfectly. You stared at her for awhile before pulling herself together and trying your best to speak normally.

A simple “Hey.” Was all you managed to say; it made her giggle, filling you warmth.

“Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to come to the pictures with me tomorrow?” Amber asked, her breath-taking smile never leaving her face.

“You mean like a... like a...” you trailed off, too nervous to finish the sentence, but luckily she finished it for you.

“Like a... date?” She smirked as your face was taken over by complete shock.

“Uh, yeah, yeah, I’d love to... I mean I’d like to, I mean... yeah,” You murmured, mentally kicking yourself for sounding like such an idiot.

“Good-“ She giggled again. “-I’ll come to yours at six and then we’ll go, okay?” You couldn’t seem to form words so you just nodded. She laughed again, kissed your cheek and left. You swiftly headed home to get ready. Not only were your family pretty okay with it, but the girl you liked just asked you on a date. This was, without a doubt, the best day of your life.