#unfortunately i need to have my thoughts organized or i'll die. sorry.

[thedevilscarnival]

spent my whole workday trying to orchestrate a situation where leonie & johannes could actually do some kind of nasty and after 10 fucking hours of thinking the most i could conclude is that johannes needs to get his stupid dead wife complex sorted out before that will ever be possible. if it happened before i dont think they'd do anything traditional. if anything leonie would commit the tried and true crime of any psychology undergrad and try to pavlov the weirdest guy she knows into doing some random thing and johannes is just ??? and then it Actually Works and then they have to unpack the fact little miss morals just treated a real ass grown man like a dog and maybe he's weirdly into it #ghoulsweep

[semperintrepida]

I’m behind on tumblr but if you’re still taking writing qs, 5&6 please. Also, 15 fascinates me because I have learned recently of myself that absolutely font matters when writing (work) stuff and i get distracted if it’s not “right”, so if you have thoughts on how font affects your (creative) writing process I’d be interested in hearing! Also, not on the list: do you outline with pen & paper or is it all on the computer?

My deepest apologies, I somehow missed this ask in my inbox and found it yesterday while doing that tarot ask meme.

5. What is an image/set of images that you're particularly proud of?

I've been thinking about my older work lately, so I'll highlight a deep cut that only my OG readers will remember: ALL of the formal Japanese garden imagery in Kunoichi. Yeah, I'm proud of that.

They kept walking, until the path rounded back toward the entrance gate, but Britt stopped Santana before she'd gotten too far ahead. "Over here," she said, and she led Santana to a small, unobtrusive path that headed deeper into the corner of the garden, easily missed if one didn't know to look for it. It led them through a grove of green foliage, the air cool with the promise of moisture, and as they walked further the promise was revealed: a small pond with an island, accessible by two narrow stone bridges. Sunlight filtered down through the pines that ringed the pond and cast the space with a milky glow the color of undyed silk. It wasn't quiet, not with the metropolis around them, but it was peaceful, and the light and the feeling of being surrounded by something sacred made it the kind of place where voices automatically lowered to whispers, where possibilities seemed endless. Santana stood like a stone statue, as still as the waters of the pond, taking it all in. She breathed softly and slowly. They stood there for a long time, saying nothing.

In the beginning of Kuno, Britt is a dead woman walking, surrounded by a sterile, hyper-urban world. But every garden in this story is very much alive, and a long-dormant seed, given the right care, can sprout and blossom again.

6. Idea that you always wanted to write but could never make work?

Hoo boy. Yeah, I've got an idea, one I've been kicking around for about a decade now, for an original science fiction book (novelette? novella? who knows?). The protagonist is a woman who's a drill sergeant in a military belonging to an empire involved in an endless war with another empire at a scale where after battles, entire planets are stripped for natural resources, mineral and organic. The protag's recruits are all clones of dead soldiers, who retain traces of their original personality but need to be taught fighting skills, and she forms a connection with one clone soldier, a headstrong woman who has an innate knack for the fighting arts.

The protag trains her clone squad, then sends them off to battle, where they all die and their organic matter is scraped off the barren rocks so it can be used to make more clone soldiers.

Protag is assigned a new squad of clones, same as the first. Forms a connection with the same clone soldier, who is not an exact copy of the previous, but clone personalities never are...

The clones go to battle and die. The cycle repeats, and each time, more of the protag's backstory is revealed, until we find out that the protagonist was once an admiral of the fleet, and the headstrong clone soldier was her wife who died in battle, after which the protag asked to be demoted to the drill sergeant for the clone squad where her (dead) wife's clone would be assigned. It's the only way for them to be together again.

I've never been able to write this thing due to other obsessions getting in the way (*cough*kyssandra*cough*) and the fact that I fucking hate worldbuilding, and unfortunately, expectations around hard science fiction demand worldbuilding to an absurd degree of accuracy. I'm sorry, I'm not going to learn astrophysics so I can write this story.

15. Does font matter to you when you're writing a draft?

Yes, but not in the usual way—at least, not using typical fonts like Times New Roman or Helvetica. I use the same font that I use when writing code: Droid Sans Mono Dotted for Powerline. I've been ruined for anything else.

Bonus Question: do you outline with pen & paper or is it all on the computer?

All on the computer. I used to do a thing where I'd keep track of scenes on bundles of index cards, but these days I find digital notes easier to deal with.

[fic writing questions meme]

[nilolol30]

Endangered: 4

---------------------------

Momo must have started feeling awkward because he was looking around the room probably to try and find something to say or was trying to figure out his words.

"Your screen looks cool none of the others have anything like that" jeez okay that was a pretty shitty starter but it seems Momo liked it.

"Thank you I...uh like your clothes" aww unfortunately there is some rips on my pants almost made them look like ripped jeans.

"Ah thanks" I rubbed my arms maybe I should have asked Kosma if they had a spare jackets Momo turned his head spotting my bandage.

"You're injured? I remember hearing humans can permanently lose limbs after injury's" Momo walked over to inspect my arm.

"Oh hah only if it's a really really bad one or it gets badly infected I'm all good through just a bad encounter with a few zurks" Momo nodded but gently held my arm he froze for a second and then started to softly squish my arm in fascination.

"Wow Doc was right soft ones are soft" okay that's hilarious.

"Well I mean it's in the name right?"

"Yes but I just thought it was because your kind wore soft clothes" but don't you guys wear clothes? Suddenly my stomach growled causing Momo to stare at me in surprise.

"Ah sorry human stomachs do that when there hungry... I doubt you have any organic foods?" Couldn't hurt to ask.

"Hmm I remember when Clementine was exploring the sewers once and brought back a bunch of boxes with cans maybe you and look?" Oh my god there maybe actual food!

"Really? Thank you for a sec I thought I'd die of starvation" Momo walked to a little caged door and opened it.

"Oh right humans die without food in that case you can keep all of them I don't really need them their in one of these boxes" peaking over Momo's shoulder I saw piles of boxes and a toilet?

Me and Momo searched through a few boxes he had a lot of stuff from clothes to little electronics maybe they were Doc's stuff? But Momo eventually found them.

"Oh Oh! Human I found them!" YESS! I turned to Momo as he was holding up one of the cans taking it I read the label.

'Peas' I turned it around to look for a expiry date 'thanks to new food enhancement this brand will not expire' food that doesn't expire?! Jeez what else did I miss out in the future.

"Thanks Momo this is perfect I'll probably need a bag if I'm gonna cary this around" I don't remember seeing a bag around when I was on the roofs.

"Here this was Clementine's you can borrow it" wow maybe when I go back to the bar I can ask Jacob if he has any bottled water.

After Momo helped me stuff the bag full of every can I put it over my back it was a little heavy but I can manage.

"We should go to the bar and set up the computer" huh I didn't see a computer in the bar maybe I was too thirsty to care.

Momo grabbed a few boxes staked together but I quickly took one to help him out he let out a small noise so far from my experience that noise means there happy.

Momo then opened a door with stairs that leads down I couldn't help but stare at it in pain...all that climbing was for nothing.

"Oh wait let me write a note for the little outsider" Momo put down his box and quickly dashed to make a little note I couldn't read it but he quickly taped it onto the tv.

Then we began to make our way to the bar walking past the elevator I saw the Guardian practicing with their staff it looks pretty cool I guess Momo saw too.

"We are very lucky to have the Guardian he makes sure no zurks get in the slums" we finally walked into the bar and Momo began setting up the computer I didn't really know what to do so I set up some chairs and one for Stray when they get back.

"Alright all set up now we just need to wait I'll stand outside to keep an eye out of Stray" perfect knowing the little cat I know they'll make it back.

While I was waiting I asked Jacob if he had any empty bottles I can fill up of water he only had 3 but that was just enough soon I heard excited beeps from Momo Stray must be back.

"Hey little furball come here I managed to get a signal" oh looking at the computer it seems he did I must have not been paying attention.

Momo quickly ran back in the bar bumping into Teddy he took his seat and patted the spare chair I brought out.

Stray hopped up and Momo gave him a pat on the head I gave them a little scratch under the chin little kitty must have done a lot of running.

"Let me see if I can get this thing working" after a few noices from the computer a blue face popped on the screen.

"I've almost got it" Momo made a few more taps on the keyboard.

"HELLO?! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?"

"Hello! Yes we can hear you! We are from the slums we're looking for a way out and...wait, is that you Zbaltazer?" Zbaltazer? One of Momo's friends!

"MOMO? ...PCHHH"

"I ... I can't believe it. I'm so happy to hear your voice Zbaltazer! Where are you? Are the others okay?"

"YES...PCHHH... WE ARE SAFE ... PCHHH... WE FOUND A WAY UP... PCHHH"

"Hello? Do you still hear me?"

"YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE SEWERS TO REACH US...PCHHH DANGEROUS PCHHH ZURKS EVERYWHERE..." suddenly the screen turned black.

"Sewers?! How? Hello?!" Momo kept trying to get back the signal but it seems it's no use.

"Darn it! We've lost the signal" Momo slammed his fist on the desk and turned to us.

"I can't believe it, Zbaltazer is alive! He and the other outsiders managed to go up the sewers? The sewers are the most dangerous place in the slums but if Zbaltazer made it, there must be a way"

Then a bot turned around it was the one sleeping earlier he slammed his cup onto the desk.

"You'll never get past the sewers. It's infested with zurks! They'll make a quick meal out of you. Especially you organics!" The bot pointed to me and Stray.

"Many tried their luck in the past. It doesn't end well. Anyway I warned you. Your business is none of my business" the bot stood up and stormed out of the bar.

"Mpff... Seamus... His father, Doc, used to be a great scientist. He was working on some new weapon to fight the zurks. A few years ago he went off to test the device and never came back. Seamus has never been the same since" poor guy I didn't even think companions could have children.

"Don't listen to Seamus. He's just scared like I was. If Doc built a weapon, that's our ticket to join the outsiders! In his notebook, Doc mentioned a secret lab a few times. That must be where he was working on it there might be a clue in Seamus' apartment. Come on, follow me!" Momo stood up and started to lead us to Seamus' apartment.

Once we got there Momo started banging on the door.

"Come on Seamus, open the door! You know your father would have wanted to help us" it seems it was no use so Momo gave up and turned to us.

"Well, that was to be expected. This situation is pretty tough on Seamus. He doesn't want to hear about the outsiders anymore. He won't help me but you..." Momo turned to Stray.

"I think I have an idea" Momo walked over to a plank of wood and moved it to the side.

"Here. Take Doc's notebook and show it to Seamus. It contains a lot of information that will hopefully act as an electroshock. Find the secret lab little outsider. Me and the human will be going back to the bar to try to reestablish communication with the others" Me and Momo gave Stray a thumbs up Stray rubbed up on my leg and walked into the apartment.

[galaxy12sblog]

Enemy series: Episode 4❤️‍🔥

❤️‍🔥🗡️You're my shield 🗡️❤️‍🔥

In a rainy day, Alastor was still training with Electstel, but seems to be likely distracted by his guardian

Alastor: *humming*....!-?

Trythm: *falls asleep on Alastor's head*....

Alastor: Oh-! You little..*sighs* Trythm!

Trythm: *growls* *opens one eye* huh..? Is something wrong, master?

Alastor: yes..no but yes, you're sleeping on my head, and I won't be able to concentrate..

Trythm: oh.. pardon me, I'm sorry..

Alastor: Hm.. but why are you sleeping?? Didn't you get enough sleep??

Trythm: w-well I did. But Master, I'm not actually sleepy.. I'm just dried out... apparently I haven't been drinking blood lately, cause of me looking after you-

Alastor: wait, wait-! Did you say...Blood?? Are you a-

Trythm: no, no! I'm actually a Siren that needs blood in order to stay up and strong, but I must've forgotten about that since I...took care of you.. sorry...if I'm..*falls asleep again on Alastor's shoulder*......

Alastor: Ah-? ...hm.. I should ask Electstel if he has blood.

Electstel: *next to him* unfortunately no, we don't.

Alastor: *startled* !! Oh.. then where should we get blood??

Electstel: um..well ... Alastor, you're gonna have to..

Alastor: have to what??

Electstel: um..let Trythm..drink your blood.

Alastor: !?! What-!? Why me??

Electstel: Because you're his owner or friend perhaps. But he needs to have your blood in order to fight with strength.

Alastor: well, okay. *Looks at Trythm* Trythm? Buddy?? Wake up!

Electstel: say the number.

Alastor: 621

Trythm woke up, looking at Alastor, tiredness and exhausted.

Trythm: sorry...what were you saying..? I wasn't... listening..

Alastor: Good news, Electstel said you'll use my blood.

Trythm: !?! But.. Master, if I drink your blood..how are you going to stay alive??

Alastor: don't worry, Electstel have a way to replace more blood for me. Plus, I'll be fine. I'm doing this just for your health.

Trythm: *laying on his head* Thank you Master, I appreciate it..

Alastor: no problem..

In the afternoon, When Alastor went to pick some fruits and berries, Trythm swing around and suddenly grabbed Alastor away

Alastor: Wha-? !! *Sees a suspicious fog from afar*...hm..

Trythm: Master, we should probably go home-

Alastor: I don't think going home is a solution, we need to find out what's in there..

Trythm: IT is probably something dangerous hiding over there, waiting for us to approach and eat or kill us

Alastor: no it won't..*swims quickly towards the fog*

Trythm: ?!! Ah-! Master! *Swims quickly towards him*

As soon as he enters the fog, he couldn't see anything.. but soon heard a scream, immediately alerting him, looking around for Alastor.. meanwhile Alastor seems to be lost or attacked..?

Alastor: *falls on the ground* ow! ..*groans* Agh-! *Injured arm* You damn little-!

Unknown stranger, Holding a weapon, Ready to attack him, but Alastor stood up and begins to fight Her..

Alastor:

???: !?! *Dodges the attacks* Nice try~!

She throws a sharp boomerang towards him, Alastor Cuts it in half before it could reach him, He then stomp his feet to make everything shake, She felt dizzy and fell on the ground, landed on her feet.

???: *Dizzy* *shakes her head* Ha! *Summons a few of her demons*

Alastor: !?! Um-!

The demons ran towards him, ready to kill but someone sliced their heads off!

Alastor: huh-?

???: *Gasp* !?😨

Trythm: *growls loudly* So... you've chosen death..❤️‍🔥.... Anakin..

Anakin: *steps away* *groans* I thought you were dead-! I-

Trythm: I'm a Siren, Anakin...I NEVER DIE!!❤️‍🔥

Alastor: !?!

Anakin: 💢😠 *growls* GET HIM!!!!

The Demons start to Attack Trythm and Alastor, but Trythm WOULDN'T allow them to eliminate Alastor.

Trythm: I warned you..❤️‍🔥

Started slicing their necks off, Stabbing them and finishing them off! Guts, Organs and blood spreads everywhere! Alastor, shocked in horror, not knowing Anakin is behind him.. ready to kill..🩸

Anakin: *grins evily* Time to die~ you little sh*t!

She pounces, sword in the Air, Ready to finish Alastor, But got a massive slap on her face and fell down, nearly close to a boiling..lava..pit..🔥

Anakin: *gasp* ..*slowly crawls away from it*.. phew..

Trythm took the sword, Put Alastor in a protection bubble, Alastor was still scared.. while Trythm looked at him, smiling..goes towards Anakin...

Anakin: *injured neck* o-ow ....ugh..*looks at Trythm* ...

Trythm: ...💢...*holding a sword*

Anakin: *grin* you think a sword might kill me? Ya know it takes more than a sword to take me down~! ..agh-!

Trythm was also holding a massive gun, on his right shoulder

Trythm: oh I know~ I know it takes more than a sword to kill you and your life~ ❤️‍🔥 but this time, it's finally my victory.. to end you~ you've really tried to get on my nerves, haven't you~?❤️‍🔥

Anakin: P-Please have mercy-!

Trythm shoots her immediately, about 5 times a bullet shot... blood and organs spread everywhere... Trythm drops the gun, mission accomplished.

Trythm:..*looks at the bubble* *smiles* *release Alastor out of the bubble, Catches him*...

Alastor: *terrified* 😨..y-you're not going to kill me...a-are you-??

Trythm: shh.. it's okay.. it's me, Master... don't be afraid.. I'm not going to hurt you. This is just the bad side of me...

Alastor: O-oh...

Trythm: I'll always protect you, Master...no matter the situations, you always come first..so don't you worry... as long I'm alive...no one's going to hurt you~ by your side~! ☺️

Alastor: ..*smiles a bit* .... thanks Trythm....

Trythm: ....*smiles* Let's go home, shall we??

Alastor: Of course..what are we going to tell Electstel??

Trythm: Hm.. we'll try to say we were distracted, Plus he wouldn't care that much.

Trythm swims away from the fog, carrying Alastor, both of them went home, peacefully safe ... Alastor fell asleep, Trythm as well..

Electstel: *holding a bunch of weapons* hm? *See both of them sleeping*....hm *smiles* These two Best friends..💙

T.B.C...

All characters belongs to me..

Episode 5 coming soon..💖

[toonformers]

Design number two, Optimus and Sentinel Prime, complete with height reference chart!

I redesigned Optimus but lets say for lore purposes, the technology for compressing Cybetronians to look humanoid has been developed even more and basically perfected.

But I wanna talk about Senti here, cuz there's some stuff to unravel here lol! So you may or may not remember (for those who don't know) when Naturae's life was destroyed, Sentinel scavenged the planet for survivors. No luck, he only came back with a seed and a note for Optimus from his lover, Shira, saying to take care of it and love it as Oppy loved her.

Sentinel wasn't very...keen to the idea of Optimus having an organic lover. However, he would help him go out with Shira and not be seen. He was willing to keep a secret, with the mentality of "This won't last long." And that mentality stuck with him, even after the news of Shira's death. Ultra Magnus' new law for all Autobots...

[Inside Fortress Maximus]

*Optimus is staring at the seed from Shira, and the note. He'd just compressed his body for the organic appearance and put on a vest with pants*

Sentinel: *slams door open* Optimus!

Optimus, surprised: Sentinel. I see you got the news.

Sentinel, angered: Yeah, I got the news. What have you done to your body? Why is everyone else supposed to do it?

Optimus: Ultra Magnus thought it would be a good way to appease the grief of others over the loss of Naturae and its people.

Sentinel, angered: Don't lie to me. I know you did this to mourn your little romance. What I don't understand is why you're making the entire planet do it!

Optimus: It's not my decision what Ultra Magnus passes as a law and you know it.

Sentinel, angered: But you very clearly influenced him. Don't deny it!

Optimus, annoyed: Fine, I won't. Happy?

Sentinel, angered: You still haven't answered why you want everyone to do this.

Optimus: ...The Naturians...they saw the world differently compared to us. Down to creation. They don't see machines or technology. They don't see sparks of energy or metal. They see life. What life is. What it can be. How it all connected. I want our culture to have that.

Sentinel, annoyed: Optimus, we are machines. We don't have reproduction or flesh or a fragile nature. We're beings who are forged. Built to last eons without a scratch. What differences us from any other machines is our sparks. That's what connects us. That's what makes us Cybertronians. The ability to have an AI so complex it's basically a soul. I for one and happy with that.

Optimus: Well, I'm not. I don't like this idea of "we're machines so we're better than everyone". Because we're not better. We have so much to learn. You especially.

Sentinel: *takes the seed away from Optimus*

Optimus: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Sentinel: This is the problem. You spent way too much time around those organics. I should've separated you two as soon as I suspected your little fling.

Optimus, furious: It's not a fling, Sentinel! She was the one! Shira was the one I wanted to spend my life with! I loved her!

Sentinel, angered: You're judgment has been blinded! You didn't love her!

Optimus, furious: Oh, what do you know about love?! How could you know how it feels to have finally found the being you're going to spend the rest of you're life with, only for them to DIE and you living with the guilt FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?! HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW HOW THAT FEELS?!

Sentinel: *stares in shock and slowly gives the seed back*

Optimus: Thank you. Now please leav...Sentinel?

Sentinel, whispering: *approaches Optimus* How that feels? You mean how it feels to fall in love in the Autobot Academy? How you planned to confess your feelings after completing a mission that you were sure you were gonna succeed. Primus, with your baby brother and friend by your side, it's a guaranteed success. Then...she dies. Because the organics who lived in the planet you visited were hostile and numerous. You blame your brother for not letting you go back for her but deep down, you know. And you have to live with the fact it's all my.... *voice cracks* fault.

Optimus: Sentinel?

*Sentinel walks away silently*

[Hours later, with Ultra Magnus]

Optimus: ...and I haven't seen him after that. I thought maybe he'd gone to see you.

UM: No, I haven't seen him. It's strange. Sentinel is not usually the emotional type. I wonder where he could have gone.

Guard: *bursts through the door* Commander! An emergency! In the medbay! It's Sentinel Prime!

[At the medbay]

UM: Perceptor. What happened?

Perceptor: Sentinel Prime had locked himself in the room and repeatedly used the appearance compressor. I estimate he went in 6 times before collapsing and loosing consciousness.

UM: Primus.

Optimus, worried: Why would he do that?? Where is he?

Perceptor: He's undergoing some repairs. Unfortunately there have been some complications. Normally the compressor can be used once, twice for aesthetic purposes. More than that can damage the exoskeleton. Sentinel having gone in 6 times has caused himself severe internal injuries. Among them...his T-cog.

UM, worried: What's wrong with it?

Perceptor: It's been crushed to a scrap. And as you know, T-cogs are irreplaceable, due to its technology being mostly unknown to science. We've not yet mastered how to build replacement cogs. Unfortunately...Sentinel Prime's transformation ability...has been terminated permanently.

Optimus, shocked: No. Magnus!

UM, sad: Sentinel...

Perceptor: It seems he wanted to fully commit to the organic lifestyle. He didn't explain why. He only said "He needs this."

Optimus: I need to see him.

UM: Take us to him.

Perceptor: Very well.

[Sentinel's med room]

*Ultra Magnus and Optimus enter to see a thin Sentinel, trying on clothing. He turns and stares at his brothers*

Optimus: Sentinel! *hugs Sentinel, Ultra Magnus joins*

Sentinel: Heh. Didn't think you'd want to see me.

UM: Are you joking, you malfunction? What have you done?? Do you realize what this has done to you??

Sentinel: I know.

Optimus: Sentinel, why did you do this? You could've gone offline! Now your T-cog is gone! You'll never transform again! Why?? Why do this?

Sentinel: ...remember what I said earlier? About...the thing with...

Optimus: Yeah?

Sentinel: After that happened, I continued my studies like normally. And it's one of my biggest regrets, because I didn't take the time to mourn Elita One. I never fully recovered from the pain. Now you're going through the same thing I did. And instead of helping you during this time, I was mocking you. I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. And...to help you get through this, I decided to follow Ultra Magnus' rule. While taking it to a much...further extent.

Optimus, surprise: Sentinel....

Sentinel: Let's make this clear. I....dislike organics. A lot. But if you think this is what Cybertron needs to progress and what you need to feel better, I'll do it.

Optimus: Senti...come here, you idiot! *hugs* Thank you. You look great.

Sentinel: I know. *smirks*

[serenagaywaterford]

1) Hey, it's me again. The idiot rambling anon. I wasn't gonna spam you again, but then I read your responses. At this point, I'm convinced you're my alter ego, lol. My thoughts are all over the place, but I'll try to organize them. So, about Nick. I've purposely avoided talking about him so far, but why the hell not? Let me make one thing clear: I'm NOT of of those thirsty fangirls. But even if I was? I wouldn't get offended or butthurt, because another person likes different fictional

2) characters (of all things) than me. I mean, big fucking deal. Each to their own, no need for apologies. ;) (My tone is a little aggressive, I know, but I’m sick and tired of some people on social media –in and out of fandoms– acting holier-than-thou and sending hate messages and even actual death threats (!) to creators or people that express unpopular opinions*. It’s reached a point where many people feel the need to put disclaimers in their posts so as not to be attacked.)

3) Back to Nick. I liked him just fine back in early S1, when he was all mysterious and his background story was unknown to us. When we did learn about it and the fandom started acting like he’s that pure, handsome angel uwu? Nah. Obviously, he’s no Fred/Serena/Lydia,but he’s not a “cinnamon roll” either. (Imo, the only decent dude on that show is Luke.) I mean, if Nick was SO altruistic, he wouldn’t have joined this job. Or even after everything went down, he could have tried to help other

4) handmaids without expecting anything in return. But no, he only helps June and that’s because he’s in love with her. I’m not blaming him for trying to survive under such circumstances, but I won’t idolize him either. Now, in s2? I’m kinda neutral about him. I don’t hate him, but I can’t say that I’m a fan either. Not gonna lie, he bores me at times, because he’s just… there. No sparks, no fireworks. Not sure if it’s the writing that doesn’t do the actor any favors, but his acting hasn’t

5) really drawn me in yet. A counterexample to this? Aunt Lydia. Her personality is despicable 98% of the time and yet. Dowd’s captivating performance makes me want to know so much more about her character.) On the other hand, I’m glad that June has someone (besides Rita) to back her up in that hellhole. She needs comfort and allies. But the whole ‘tRu Love 5eva" fanon thing? No, thanks. Not only it doesn’t fit the tone of the series, but I also believe that sharing an intense, forbidden love/

6) during such a shitstorm is not the same thing as keeping it alive after all is said and done (post-Gilead). Maybe they’ll stay together (as long as Nick doesn’t die), maybe they’ll fall apart. I can’t really see June romantically reconnecting with Luke either. After everything she’s been through… She’s a completely different person now. Unfortunately, the same things goes for Emily and her wife. Even though I’d love to see her interact with both her wife and her child in S3.

———

My inbox is so beautiful right now! Never, ever call yourself an idiot, my friend. (If you are, then so am I!) Brain twins, you see.

(Also sorry about this being out of order lol.)

I was trying not to talk about him too cos generally I just … I prefer not to think about him much. The fangirls, just, *sigh*. I try to avoid as much as possible in this fandom, esp on tumblr. Just hang out in my quiet little, not-Serena-hating corner. I always feel a need to put disclaimers these days cos as much as I don’t really care about random hate, I’d prefer not to have to deal with dogpiles or to look at it lmao. Like people can go around just hating on any character here–especially if they’re women–but say one critical (not even hateful) thing about their male fav and things just go off. 

I’m more than aware the majority of people don’t like Serena and think she’s the worst thing ever. And fair play! (I get it… cos I’m not delusional. She’s awful.) Each to their own. I don’t go around bitching at people who say shitty things or stuff I don’t agree with, or blocking anybody who doesn’t like her. (There are a few posts I do engage with cos normally they seem like they want to go deeper in The Discourse but most Serena/Lydia/Eden/Janine/June-hate I just ignore.)

ITA. S1 was, like, okay. That’s Nick. What’s he up to? What’s his deal? (I don’t really care but I’m not opposed to him either. Just like I didn’t care about Luke’s backstory/escape.) He’s trying to be good to June and she needs that.When we did learn his backstory I was not pleased cos he seemed like a twerp but whatevs. Grey characters are grey. It wasn’t until S2 that I started to get irked by him (and the hypocrisy of his fans but that’s a whole other issue). 

I can’t agree ANY more with your assessment of Nick. Like that’s EXACTLY what I’ve been saying! Firstly, he was RIGHT THERE when the Handmaid/Ceremony thing was first suggested and was like “Oh, yeah, great idea!” to Fred. I get that perhaps he was pressured to go along to keep his job but that’s a stretch imo, and if you can give him that sort of leeway, why can’t characters like Eden, Serena, Lydia and June get the same benefit of the doubt for certain things? Why is Nick’s pressure to keep his job more important and forgivable than anybody else’s pressures? It’s like that entire scene doesn’t exist to fangirls and Nick is so precious and in love and wonderful. Then there’s the rape of June. Like I know it’s pretty controversial to look at it that way, but that first time, with Serena overseeing it like a fucking creepy pimp (YUUUUUUCCCKKKKK I HATE IT THANKS) was rape. June barely knew the guy and I’m pretty sure if she wanted to have sex with him it wouldn’t be like that! And sure, after that, it was totally consensual but that first time was not. And I’ve heard the justification and excuses of “Well, Nick didn’t have a choice either!” which I call bullshit on, cos Nick is not some powerless delivery boy. 

He’s a fucking Guardian who is tight with the top Commanders. He’s a man, if nothing else. Serena can act all high and mighty but she’s still a woman in a highly misogynistic society. I’m not convinced Fred would take his wife’s word over Nick’s tbh, especially if it was like “Dude, your crazy wife asked me to fuck the Handmaid you’re obsessed with”. If he really didn’t want to do it that badly, he could have taken that chance to report Serena. Even if Fred wanted to keep it hush hush away from other Commanders, he would have gone after Serena. Men are far more likely to turn on women than each other, esp in THT. But that’s just my take. Maybe I am missing something about Nick’s status. To me, it was like double rape. Neither of them wanted to do it, like that anyway. But Nick also did fuck all to stop it when IMO he did have some power to do something. He is not a helpless victim in that society, imo. Again, probably not a well-received opinion. 

Don’t even get me started on his “Poor me!” routine in S2 when June tells him to have sex with Eden. I’m glad she called him on that bullshit. (But again, over the fangirls heads. Enough about them!)

Basically, everything Nick has done wrong isn’t his choice; he’s just a victim. In a story about women, Nick’s victimhood at the hands of these nasty women and men is the real issue. Blah. Whatever.

I just find Nick lacks total self-awareness about being part of the shitty ass system. He kind of just floats around thinking nothing is his fault and he’s blameless for it all, and he certainly can’t seem to see it from anyone’s perspective except his own. He’s upset about Fred & June’s Jezebel trips, not for her own safety or well-being but mainly he’s jealous. Of course he’s concerned about her safety but I believe it takes a backseat to his jealousy. He just seems to never take any responsibility for anything.

And BINGO about the previous Handmaid. Nothing we’ve been shown has given any hint he cares about any other woman’s plight in Gilead other than June, and only cares about her cos he had a crush/fucked her/is in wuv wiv her. Basically, she’s HIS so suddenly he cares about her. Look how fast he dumped that Martha as soon as he got brooding about June. He’s done fuckall for anybody except himself and that alone makes me dislike him. He’s no better than Fred in that way for me. But where Fred can occasionally be an interesting villain, cos Fiennes is nasty good, I find the actor who plays Nick just… not engaging. And he’s not SUPPOSED to be a villain! He’s meant to be a good guy! It’s crazy. He’s not compelling, he’s not interesting. He’s bland. He’s not even good looking, lol. I was watching with a friend once and mention I thought Fred was way better looking than Nick and she just stared at me and said, “You shouldn’t say that. But me too.” So, count me in the camp that just does not get the appeal of the character OR the actor.

I don’t hate Nick generally. I am just totally indifferent to his existence. If he left the show tomorrow, I’d shrug and probably be a little glad I don’t have to see that bland moping anymore. If he stays, oh well. Shrug. And I just don’t want his and June’s star-crossed romance shoved down my throat. It’s so… I dunno. I’m not opposed to June finding solace and hope but making it some beautiful forbidden romance, I’m not buying it. Like you said, it’s all well and good in Gilead–but it doesn’t strike me as something that can be sustainable outside it. To borrow from you last time: It’s the Handmaid’s Tale, not The Guardian + the Handmaid’s Tale.

Okay, enough about that pipsqueak. I don’t even like talking about him, tbh. He’s not worth it when there’s so much else going on.

ITA about Luke/June too. I feel like the level of disconnection and trauma that they’ve sustained, especially June, they can try to reconnect but it’s pretty difficult and I think especially with June having a sexual/romantic relationship with Nick pulls that really tight. It’s just two different planets they live on now. I don’t doubt that she still loves Luke, but actually reforming the relationship they previously had seems like an impossible task considering everything both of them have been through. It’s sad, but … sadly true for many people. Relationships can fall apart for far less.

And on the same page about Emily/Sylvia too. She is just soooooo fucking broken, and hopeless, that if they have them just rekindle with no issues, it’ll be bad writing. (I dunno if you see spoilers but there’s one about them.) She needs therapy so much more than a cutesy feelgood storyline.

Back to Lydia: Exactly! There’s a character we know very little about and who is a horrible person, yet the performance by Dowd makes almost everyone go, “TELL ME MORE!” With Nick, it’s the opposite for me. I’m just like, “Please, less of this.”