#until I have to minorly inconvenience people to meet my basic needs | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lightblueminecraftorchid · 8 months

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being sick as an adult sucks. wdym my mom won’t just automatically make sure I eat food instead of exclusively drinking Gatorade all day. wdym I have to ask my roommates to make me dinner. I have to Venmo a friend money to buy me more Gatorade?? I can’t focus enough to do homework??? I hate this.

#this is a silly haha humor post but in all seriousness.#COVID rly is just making me stare all the internalized ableism in the eye #yes worth isnt defined by productivity and disability and the idea of being a burden is part of being human and isn’t shameful at all #until I have to minorly inconvenience people to meet my basic needs #I really want to eat dinner but that would require asking my roommates to make me dinner which is just. 5 kinda of mortifying.#even though if someone I knew was sick I would not be upset about making them food! sick people need to eat!#my parents ordered me chipotle yesterday bc they were so concerned bc of how I sounded over the phone #and my friend went out and bought me juice and Gatorade and popsicles and took me to the doctor #the support system Exists I just feel bad about having to use it T-T #I just want to be hugged and read to and reminded to eat food but I am an adult now and not at home #lonely TT-TT #it’ll be okay I’m probably just emotional bc I’m sick and hungry #I also just am struggling so hard because I want to catch up on my classwork Right Now #but I can get through maybe one assignment before I’m too exhausted to keep sitting up #and I have to lay down and close my eyes and sleep or do a light activity like playing candy crush for the fifty bazillionth time #I’ve gotten through like. 100 levels this week.#I’m losing my dang marbles. I am gonna be so behind in ASL Susan is gonna be so disappointed in me #I feel like I have all this energy when I’m laying down bored but as soon as I sit up I feel like I’m floating and about to fall over #so. so tired. why can’t I be healthy already and do homework T-T.#I’m choosing to take this as a lesson to slow down and not overwork myself so hard. instead of being mad at myself for getting behind.#<- is trying and failing not to be mad at herself for getting behind

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