#upd: I'm also really scared of interacting with other simblrs/people because I feel so... alienated maybe? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eldrichfuck666 · 1 year

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I recently feel so strange about having a simblr, because I just.. I feel like I'm in a time loop, like time is non-existent thing for me and I just don't have any energy to catch up with the posts and how fast and how much is everything progressing and going. I just can't, and it's really difficult for me to force myself to catch up, I hate myself for it since I want and always wanted to be in this community, but it all feels so intense and strange for me, I just... I feel like I'm so far behind, like I need to stop being here because I'm too slow, too tired, too overwhelmed by everything maybe?.. I don't know what I'm really trying to say here, but like... I feel so out of touch or whatever.

#nonsins #olya's rambles #delete later #tw vent #kinda #upd: I'm also really scared of interacting with other simblrs/people because I feel so... alienated maybe?#I have literally no friends besides my siblings and co-workers in real life and I just.. I feel hurt by the understanding that I'm cursed #cursed with loneliness and it feels so painful and I can't cope with it but making friends or frequently chatting with someone hurts more #I feel like I'm not made for friendship. eternal loneliness? yes #probably #might be weird to say but I feel so small so wrong so- I feel so fucking lonely but every time I try being friends it's not going well #am I too much? yes but it's me and I can't hide my feelings I can't hide my emotions I can't even mask well #I always talk too much I always say too much I always react too emotional #I just can't be normal I can't be like any other normal person because I'm certainly not one #do I even deserve to have friends in the first place? probably not I'm annoying as hell I'm loud I'm too much I'm overwhelming everyone #better stay away from friendship I guess better just... just be alone #I feel so nauseous right now I don't know just talking about it and acknowledging it HURTS.

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