#ur analysis is making me realize how much ive projected onto grian...

[set-in-stardust]

probably should specify i associate hoy with only a few specific scenes in the book. it's a very soft pining song and grian. is not. that soft? it's just the little scenes that we see where they're both feeling like the'll never be able to do anything with their feelings, and that their emotions have blown everything way out of their proportions, and also the scenes where grian (specifically) realizes his feelings can't shouldn't be ignored

specifically the end of chap 12 and most of chapter 14, the talk on the roof in chap 9, the vast majority of chapter 7, the play fighting in the desert in chap 16, and the flight lesson in chap 18 :3

but anyway. uh. the reason i haven't sent in an ask about the grian song is because i've had it on loop for the past day. it's my exact music taste in style and video and message?? heh?? bm thank you kindly for introducing me to this song (: so without further ado...

what you know:

in a few weeks i will get time/to realize it's right before my eyes/and i can take it if it's what i want to do

grian's an over-analyzer. he overthinks things he does, in the moment and after the fact, especially if what he does was instinctual and/or without much thinking in the first place. he also underestimates himself in his self-worth, and so he puts any emotions he doesn't want to feel into his builds- he takes up his time so he doesn't have to think.

and i am leaving and this is starting to feel like/it's right before my eyes

grian knows there's something going on around him he's not quite aware of- whispers from scar to the different boatem members and xisuma, those looks impulse and pearl keep shooting him, and what is with mumbo and his time frame? he's so busy and if he's not building, he's always with scar!

maybe next year I'll have no time/to think about the questions to address

he doesn't want to know what'll happen if he reveals he's been lying to his friends. he doesn't want to know how he'll be treated, he doesn't want to know the ways he'll be hurt-

am I the one to try to stop the fire?

grian's very headstrong, but once again, he contradicts himself in that if he's overwhelmed, he flees. he doesn't want to get hurt more than he already has been, and so he forgets about his importance to the other hermits and escapes the scenario.

i wouldn't test you/i'm not the best you could have attained/why try anything?/i will get there/just remember I know

grian (as stated) fears the unknown. he doesn't want to hurt his fellow hermits, so he doesn't push and he doesn't share things that he doesn't feel can be shared.

and i can't say it's what you know/but you've known it the whole time

!!! the juxtaposition of this line! whoever's talking to grian understands that while grian knows about many things on the server, he doesn't know that he knows these things because he hides them behind a wall of panic and worry.

also bmmmmmmmm i forgot about below my feet for mumbo and i am so. so mad.

some lyrics i would analyze but don't have the space:

and now i sleep/sleep the hours and that i can't weep

keep the Earth below my feet/for all my sweat, my blood runs weak/let me learn from where I have been

And i was still/i was under your spell

well keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn/keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn

that last line is very mumbo i. how did i forget this. what.

~☁️

okay i probably know what "hoy" is an abbreviation for but i cant for the life of me figure it out. its a song, right? yeah? lmfao im havign a time with this

the part about grian being an over-analyzer,, yeah. me projecting on a character I'm writing? nahhh, totally not hahahah,, AND HAVIGN EVERYONES EYES ON HIM?? bro is STRESSED, he knows everyone knows whats going on and he's scared they're gonna find out a whole lot more than he's willing to share

he doesn't want to know what'll happen if he reveals he's been lying to his friends. he doesn't want to know how he'll be treated, he doesn't want to know the ways he'll be hurt-

yep. he's created such a desperate and terrifying scenario in his head that the possibility that no one would give a shit isn't even plausible anymore. he's dug himself too deep to climb out now

grian (as stated) fears the unknown. he doesn't want to hurt his fellow hermits, so he doesn't push and he doesn't share things that he doesn't feel can be shared.

^^^^^^ this also goes with the above. exactly

whoever's talking to grian understands that while grian knows about many things on the server, he doesn't know that he knows these things because he hides them behind a wall of panic and worry.

DHGJGKHDJ YEP. YEP. i couldn't have said it better.

AND OMFG BELOW MY FEET IS THE SONG I WAS LISTENING TO WHEN I PICKED MUMFORD AND SONS FOR HIS VIBE!!

well keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn/keep my eyes to serve, my hands to learn

yep. this line SCREAMS mumbo. i love to compare him to a machine/computer when i write him because he's always taking in information, processing it, then outputting the appropriate response. he's learning and adapting and growing and changing, but he stays so much the same. he's such an interesting character and id love to do something from his perspective (which i do have planned, but it's an au and its gonna b a bit) just to explore his thought processes and reactions