#usually they also shit on fates but tbh a lot of the time the criticism IS justified there

[seekerstone]

man the amount of times i see a tweet that starts off as a good and insightful critique of fe fandom’s recency bias and then always, inevitably, every single fucking time, goes “unlike awaken1ng the older games are good” like can we not praise other games w/o shitting on it. if you don’t like it fine whatever but you’ll find that i can actually talk abt its good points w/o once referencing Multiple Homes soooo... 

[bular]

Welcome to Live Commentary

I had no one to talk to while watching the movie and I hate being alone with my thoughts so I wrote everything down in my notes app. It's not coherent! Enjoy!

Aw yeah 1.5 seconds of Bular that is all I needed! Might as well stop now I've seen my boy I'm satisfied.

Why is there a nearly 4 minute recap as if I haven't watched the show at least 50 times. I should be the one giving the recap.

The beginning felt a bit forced to me but maybe that's just me? Like they just tried to squeeze too many things into a small timeframe without any buildup, it just didn't really work. Congrats on the engagement! This is my OTP so I'm very happy! But it came out of nowhere.

Nari in Douxies body is so wrong and I love it and hate it at the same time (positive)

Eli is BIG. I knew he was gonna be tall but I was not prepared for that chiseled face. Or the fact that he stepped off the ship without glasses? I wear glasses and I would not choose to step off a spaceship blind.

OkAY who had mpreg on their bingo card?

AAARRRGGHH actually said a full sentence 🥺 there is no heterosexual explanation for this scene and I'm here for it

Arcadia being the center of the universe really does make a lot of sense. I hate how much sense it makes. Despise it.

Strickler in a Christmas sweater is something i didn't know I needed. Jim's jacket too but that's just adorable, Jim's adorable. Oh sweet baby you're about to get fucked over so bad.

Love seeing Barbara actively participating in battle too. Good for her! Power family!!

Where are the kids tho? Is NotEnrique babysitting? Either that or they hired the girl from the Incredibles movie.

Nomura is so talented I love seeing her fighting on the good side. I can't explain it but I love digitigrade legs they're just so pretty?? Aesthetically pleasing??? Fuck yeah, legg! I could watch Nomura run around and be badass all day.

WAIT NO OH SHIT HOW DARE YOU FUCK

STRICKLER DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE NOT YOU TOO THAT'S TOO FUCKING RUDE DON'T DO THIS TO ME

THERE'S NO WAY HE'S DEAD RIGHT WE SAW NO BODY

Barbara does not deserve this I refuse to accept it. He's fine he'll be back they wouldn't kill two Changelings at once. Also Nomura is with Draal now I take no criticism.

So my favorite characters were Bular, Draal, Gunmar and Angor. And before this movie I always half-joked that everyone I love dies, how I still like Strickler and Nomura but apart from them all of my faves were killed in the very order of favoritism. AND NOW LOOK AT THIS. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LOVE A CHARACTER. MY LOVE IS TOXIC.

OKAY I LOVE GUN RO- WAIT NO I DON'T LOVE HIM FUCK ABORT ABORT

It's great tho omg

I didn't realize it was Gun Robot when I saw it in the trailer this is amazing

Okay but imagine you're chilling in your trollmarket minding your own business when some misfit group of strangers waltzes in, steals your favorite shiny and celebrates your death before running off

"I AM GUN ROBOT" IS THE HORN LMAOOO

Nana better show up at some point to reunite with her boytoy, I'll cancel this entire franchise otherwise

Something bad is going to happen to Toby isn't it. He's getting too much screentime

Jim's hand got DEEP FRIED

ARCHIE NO

We can play Scrabble okay if they don't free them (which they must) I want an after credits scene of them playing scrabble

Douxie and Nari's bond 🥺🥺🥺

Nari pls just say what you fuckin mean the world is ending

Oh god is she going to remember killing Nomura oh nooo

Claire don't make the portal you will die again. Your hair gon be white all over

EVERYONE AVOIDING THE SCHOOL JUST RIGHT THERE LMAO RIP

I love how Darci is just with the school bus. Civilian girlfriend. But also love how the world is ending and Coach is like "fuck that I'm gonna teach these kids"

Does he know his son is pregnant

"Going back to the city where it's safe" buddy have you been to that city

Whatever happens, Nari has the coolest looking titan. Giant four legged gremlin. I'd adopt him.

WAIT SHE CAN FEEL THE PAIN?

Me: oh i love that titan

The titan 5 seconds later:

Did Nari just fucking die what the FUCK

Oh of COURSE the pages are stuck together RIGHT THERE

Seriously tho how do you not notice an entire nougat nummy in a book

Wait so Arcadia has another heartstone? Or OH SO IT'S ALIVE. OKAY GREAT. GUNMAR COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT HUH

Love how the Heartstone has been dormant/dead for months and apparently heard Blinky say it's alive and decided to wake up RIGHT THEN

Finally they're evacuating the city. This is like, the third apocalypse there. About time.

Okay so you can't pull Excalibur from the rock, but you CAN carve out the stone. Couldn't you just carve it off the sword as close as possible and like. Use that? Just swing the whole damn rock around?

God i can NOT get over Steve's pants. I mean I read a spoiler he was gonna be pregnant but I thought it was a prank or shitpost. I did not see this coming and I am never going to be over it. I love how he and Aja just roll with it and nobody else even cares. They've seen weirder stuff. So he's pregnant now. Whatever.

Jim's hand is bandaged and his ribs still hurt. I love that they're actually consistent with his injuries. I mean sucks for him but hell yeah for hero that doesn't always win!

Okayyy here comes the heartstone. Why not!

IS HE IN LABOR

So if you kiss an Akiridion 7 times you will have 3-5 babies in a few hours. How are they not overpopulated?? Also Aja couldn't have WARNED STEVE BEFOREHAND?

Eli is so supportive omfg

So uh where are the babies gonna come out of? I'm not into mpreg how does this usually work

OH STEVE THANKS FOR ASKING MY QUESTION

Oh good thing he happens to have 8 friends still alive. Otherwise this would've never worked. Nomura had to die otherwise there would've been 10 of them.

Why is everyone bowing to Jim? Did they rehearse this?

Stuart if you hadn't taken a bathroom break you would've thrown off the math and doomed the world. That was a poop of fate my man

Ahhh the signature quote. Where did Douxie and the Akiridions learn it? Did they rehearse this too? It's really cliché but I do like it tbh

If Strickler were dead we'd see more Barbara right?

WOOO BLINKY DRIVING

Ah Jim just used she/her for Bellroc! Finally we're learning some pronouns. I've been wondering this whole time.

MY VIRGIN EYES. WHAT IS GOING O N

How are they not dying with all this lava?

She really just yeeted Varvatos

Did Claire just tell AAARRRGGHH to jump off the titan and he did it without question

I want to say I like Stuart and want him to have more screentime, but I won't say it because I don't want him to die

Jim's poor ribs

Toby can drive yoooo

Tobyyy you're scaring meeeee

So did they really need the different stone or was the amulet just waiting for Jim to choose death over giving up

I saw the armor before but it looks VERY COOL

Also I didn't mention this before but I love that they cut Merlin's name from the incantation. Good for them.

Toby you lost your helmet noooo

For real tho I'm terrified for Toby rn. I saw a comment somewhere earlier that just said "Toby no" with no context and I am AFRAID

So do Bellroc's eyes work after all? I thought she was blinded back in Wizards in the past.

DID SHE JUST FUCKING STAB MY BOY

TOBY YOU SHOULD NOT BE THERE GET OUT THE TRUCK

Bellroc maybe screaming "i'm powerless" in front of your enemy isn't the best idea

She sploosh

DID JIM SURVIVE THAT FALL AND ALSO IS THE TACO TRUCK OKAY

How is he lifting Claire like that buddy you have bruised ribs and just got stabbed

ELI HI CAN WE SEE THE KIDS

SEVEN KIDS! AND ELI JR I LOVE IT

This show really loves to give people more than the recommended amount of babies with no warning huh

She immediately knows which one is Eli Jr 🥺 okay listen I'm not the biggest fan of comic relief sideplot surprise babies, but I have to admit they're cute. Cute couple. Throuple. Eli is in on this. He even has a Junior.

I TOLD YOU WHERE'S THE DAMN TACO TRUCK NANA WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU AND NEITHER WILL I

Oh yea he better fuckin be alive I will commit murder

HE BETTER FUCKIN BE ALIVE BITCH

FUCK YOU

THAT'S A WHOLE ASS CHILD HE ISN'T ALLOWED TO DIE IT'S ILLEGAL

JIM IS GONNA LOOK DOWN AT THE GREEN GLOWING BITCH AAARRRGGHH CONVENIENTLY THREW THERE AND SEE HIM ALIVE OR SOMETHING

YEAH USE THE SWORD TO UNDEAD HIM! THAT'S HOW YOU USE SWORDS!

Unbecoming Part 2

So is Jim just gonna Groundhog Day it until everyone is fine? There's only 13 minutes left we're gonna need a bigger movie

Also I screamed so much about everyone's death and now everyone reading this after they already saw the whole thing is gonna shame me for clowning huh

The scene where Blinky is giving his goodbye speech, there are no babies and Steve has a round belly? Did he reabsorb them?? I mean I know Jim is about to un-birth them but he hasn't started yet

JUST HOW FAR BACK IS HE PLANNING TO GO

WAIT HOLD UP EXCUSE ME WHAT

Oh they did NOT just do that. I though he was just gonna go back to like, the start of the movie maybe. Not all the way

Imagine being in your early twenties with as much trauma as this kid has and having to pretend you're 16 again

Somewhere Unkar is complaining because "oh sure NOW it's a good idea"

I know Jim is wondering where Toby is because he was there before. But before, he made an entire meatloaf AND did his homework before leaving the house, so honey maybe wait a minute

For a second I thought Toby wasn't gonna be there and Jim would return to the right time. But there he is!

Alright so they're in school now, did they take the canal and just didn't mention the amulet on screen or did they pass it as if the Unbecoming episode hadn't been that traumatizing? Jim you know what happens when you ignore it

Jim maybe you're being too obvious here lmao

Soooo. Anyway. These whole past years I've rewatched this show over and over and over again are cancelled now?

OKAY AT LEAST WE SAW NANA FOR A SPLIT SECOND THAT'S IRONIC TIMING

So we get the quote again. And Trollhunter Tobias is nice. Cool. Cool AU I mean, but I don't know. I don't knowwww. I've been way too invested in everything to just accept that it never happened?? So uh. Hm. How about this.

Strickler survived because fuck you, and Toby also survived and just has scars now. Maybe a wheelchair but he's fine, also he can use the Warhammer for super speed and make it awesome once he's used to it. Archie and Charlie get freed once they rebuild the bridge (and they were playing scrabble to pass the time). Nomura is still dead because she died on screen and I can't really deny that but she's with Draal so it's okay. Everyone is traumatized but they'll be fine. NotEnrique is still babysitting 500 babies and Steve is about to bring 7 more.

In summary, I reject Groundhog Day ending but everything else was great, as long as it actually happened. It was a good movie. But you can't just cancel years of passion. Having the prospect of a million "canon AUs" sounds great for writing but at the same time nooo you can't do that he didn't have to go back THAT far HHHHH

I liked the movie. It was a great watch and a satisfying end to a franchise, but I gotta say I do not fancy the ending of it so I will from now on be in denial. I honestly feel kind of betrayed that this show was my whole life for so long, I learned every smallest fact, and they basically deleted it from existence. I know what they were going for, I think, but no thank you I will be going with my own opinion. Still gonna rewatch it a few dozen times though ✌🏻

And that concludes my live commentary that was supposed to be a small handful of notes. Feel free to shame me for my opinions. See ya!

[raymondshields]

6-15 for the proship ask meme??? 👀

6) what kind of “problematic” ships you like?

Incest is such a good one, so is enemies to lovers and tbh quite a bit of the underage, because teenagers be stupid and hormonal and that's good for the emotional mess we like.

7) what kind of “problematic” tropes you like to put your ships through?

Consensual brainwashing is fun. So is sex pollen [coughcoughOstara] and who can forget, underage is great for the 'first time and everyone's embarrassed and trying to act like they have their shit together but they're all immature and start giggling whenever they see a dick'. :p

8) a character you think did nothing wrong but fandom demonizes?

Gemini Aspros, obviously. :p Also Minos, we love our griffon-girl.

9) a character that did a lot of things wrong in canon that you think fandom woobifies?

[glares @ Sage] Oi you asshole.

10) what is your favorite “problematic” fandom?

Deep-Sea Prisoner's works! Insofar that it's the only really problematic fandom I'm into, I'm very picky.

11) is there a fandom that ever made you think “how are there antis in this fandom, why are they even into this”?

Also Deep-Sea Prisoner's works. :p Seriously. This lass has literally every problematic trope. I think the only one she doesn't actually hit is shota porn, but that's because Licorice, a canon toddler, sometimes just ages himself up to be an adult and then he goes and sleeps with his mom. Who is a boy and got pregnant anyway. I don't think she's ever done porn of Licorice when not aged up? But then again, Wadanohara is over a century old but because she's usually chibified, apparently she's still a loli and thus child coded and there's been canon porn of her blah blah blah.

You know how many 'DSP critical' blogs I've blocked? So fucking many. I don't get it. How are they here. Genuinely, what do they like about being here. They literally harassed DSP off of tumblr for drawing a canon ship, that had been in WatGBS for over a decade, because that canon ship started with noncon.

How antis exist, I don't know.

12) have you ever had to leave a fandom because of all the antis in it?

[cries in not being active in the DSP fandom because I don't fucking trust any of them]

13) are you a villains fan?

YES. I mean, you know that, but hehehe evil sexy man gud. :p

14) favorite “unproblematic” ship?

I... I want to say Dohko/Kagaho??? I really do??? Literally every other ship we have is somehow problematic, but also, they're rivals to lovers?

The Ptolomea OT3 is unproblematic, but Minos is 'child-coded' and also knowing each other's fate is clearly problematic and uhhhh, Albafica's memory issues makes it ableist to folks with dementia. Gatelutemas is out, there's age gap and power imbalances and Artemas kills too many people when he's mad. Fyodor and Leona would probably get classed as bestiality if we asked antis. Most Spectre ships are villains and thus immediately problematic.

Wait.

Degel/Fluorite is unproblematic.

I think? I don't actually know how old Fluorite was. I know Degel was-

fuck he was seventeen it's underage. Riiiiiiiiip. xD

15) something cool about the last thing you watched/read/listened to!

Last piece of media I watched was actually Hermitcraft last night! And arguably that's RPF since the line between actor and character is very blurred. I like Hermitcraft because it's very peaceful with some shenanigans, and they just started the new season which is already fun as all hell.

That being said, Mumbo made his starter base a hippie campsite and literally programmed a switch to play Wonderwall when he hit it. It took him like six hours. I admire the man's dedication.

[liveonmtv]

cash machine || kth

pairing: kim taehyung/f!reader genre: fluff & humor. crack actually. crack cocaine. word count: 11.1k warnings: strong language, drinking, an unwated kiss (not from tae), unsanitary jokes (i’m immature), implied sex, vomiting extra: (fr)enemies to lovers, road trip au, rich kids au but it’s barely there also they’re on summer vacation, also this story takes place in the usa JUST to drag the trip out tbh

summary: Jungkook and Seokjin get a little problematic, you have anger issues and Taehyung is under the impression that he killed a man. Also, did you mention that you’re on your way to your unfunny cousin’s wedding? Go on a road trip from Missouri to Las Vegas and you’ll be in for a hilarious yet scary experience! 

a/n: hi! i’m just starting this account out, so reblogging would mean a lot to me. i’m a novice to writing, so criticism is welcome as long as you’re not rude about it. have fun reading (i hope)! i also have a jungkook fic planned next (:

song

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Jungkook has that look in his face, the one he makes where the person sitting opposite of him is about as depraved as he is. He’s given it to you while you were explaining to him how to scam desperate men under the preface of a faux premium Snapchat and he’s given it to Jimin when they were finishing their high school careers and decided to release grasshoppers in the principal’s office. 

However, if there’s one person that’s about as fucked up in the head as he is, it’s Seokjin. The man also suffers from SMSTS as well (Serious Misconception of Sexual Tension Syndrome, and yes, that’s quite a lot of s’s), which doesn’t hurt given the current affairs. 

While Jungkook is aware that Jimin and Hoseok are always up for a bit of mischief, he has ruled them both out as incompetents and moved on to the real deal. Jimin has these rare moments of sanity and Hoseok, as your most loyal little bitchboy, would probably tattle the situation with made-up details to you before the plan is even set in action. 

So, Seokjin it is. 

The story begins in a faraway land before Jungkook knew about the tragic facets of your family’s relationships. Though his friend group is on good terms with your siblings and your other close relatives are aware of their existence and somehow only have good things to say about them, he never thought they’d be invited to your cousin’s wedding. To be fair, you had to do some serious persuasion for your family to allow you to invite six more people to somebody else’s wedding so there’s that factor contributing, but still, the offer is out of the blue.

Somewhere along the way, you went on a tangent about how much you hate your cousin and how your aunt doesn’t have eyebrows and how bothersome it is to look at her face. Your horror stories were mostly you just being your usual dramatic self, but they also revealed that the [L/n]s aren’t what they appear to be. 

You begged and begged for them to accept the invitations, and though Namjoon and Yoongi, unfortunately, couldn’t make it, the others agreed. 

Then arose the problem of the sixth spot that couldn’t be filled. You would’ve just let it be but your parents insisted that if you’re going to ask for something, you should fulfill it until the end. It was Namjoon you’d asked to come first, but he was busy with visiting family back in Seoul, and Yoongi then declared that he didn’t feel like humoring you this once. And that was the exact moment Jungkook decided to strike.

“You want to play matchmaker?” Jin asks. And though he looks almost skeptical, his tone is definitely an excited one. “With [Y/n] and Tae, of all people?” 

“Well yes, think about it logically,” he explains as he is about to say something completely illogical. “She has that sixth spot to fill, she has no other friends and they’re perfect for each other. All the other shit we’re gonna pull is just for fun, though.”  

Jin laughs an evil laugh, always one to be up for evil schemes. Just another evil day in the evil life of Kim Seokjin. “Well, [Y/n] is Tae’s perfect mean girl. And that girl needs either therapy or to get laid, but like, same.” 

“See? You get me.”

“To be fair, I think that goes for all of us. No offense.” 

“None taken,” Jungkook agrees. “Anyways, I was thinking of a… road trip.” 

“Well you didn’t have to be so dramatic about it, this isn’t The Godfather. Though I do feel like I’ve definitely got a bit of Michael Corleone in me.” 

Jungkook shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly at the other fiend’s remark. “You can pray to god all you want. Here in these streets, the only thing we believe in is El Chapo.” 

“I— Okay…” 

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[11:05] LeBruh James: wtf is wrong with u

[11:05] LeBruh James: get help seriously

[11:06] jk the slump god: all i said was that u should invite taehyung as the 6th person to ur cussin’s wedding 

[11:06] jk the slump god: overreacting arent we 

[11:10] LeBruh James: what the hell is a cussin bitch im gonna kill u

[11:13] jk the slump god: not like u have anyone else to invite tho 

[11:13] jk the slump god: hes not that bad ur just being urself

[11:14] LeBruh James: ur literally Not helping ur case rn

[09:45] LeBruh James: none of the girls want to gooooo

[09:45] LeBruh James: fine if it has to be taehyung ig ill live w it

[10:30] jk the slump god: great he already said yes

[10:30] jk the slump god: btw we’re gonna go in las vegas at the end of a road trip u in?

[10:33] LeBruh James: HE SAID YES BEFORE I EVEN INVITED HIM…

[10:33] LeBruh James: EYE. OK.

[10:33] LeBruh James: on one hand i kind of dont want to see any of u but if ur all gone i wont have anything to do b4 the wedding so i guess im in by proxy

[10:34] jk the slump god: lovely doing business with u y/n-chan

[10:36] LeBruh James: call me y/n-chan again and I Will Put ur Dick-Chan in a Freezer-sama and then Cut-san it off

[10:39] jk the slump god: i dont think ur using the honorifics correctly tbh..

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“I don’t see how this is a good idea,” you state with a dramatic pout while looking out of the window. Your expression is solemn. 

Taehyung kind of can’t believe that you’re throwing a tantrum just because you had to sit next to him in the three-row SUV, but on the other hand, he’s kind of into it. You’re more appalled by the fact that he’s not as disgusting up close as you’d imagined him to be. Well granted, you’re being immature, but it’s your shtick so they take it with a grain of salt.

“Why’s that?” Jungkook asks obtusely. He ruined your life the moment he started calling you [Y/n]-chan and he has that bad case of crazy eyes he gets sometimes when you look at his reflection in the mirror going on right now. You’d be more understanding of his condition, hadn’t your trip started barely five minutes ago. 

“What do you mean why is that? We’re all unstable backstabbing lunatics, do you think we can survive together for six whole days?! Stranded or even in a hotel? And then the ride back to Springfield?”

“Hotel? You’re funny. It’s always been my dream to sleep in a motel,” Jin pipes up. 

“Seriously? No limo, now this.”

“Hotel, motel, holiday inn,” Hoseok starts singing. Perhaps if it was queen Britney, it would’ve curbed your temper but fate doesn’t seem to be that kind. 

“Hotel, motel, holiday inn! Hotel, motel, holiday inn! Hotel, motel, holiday inn!” 

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“So we’re not going to visit the Grand Canyon?” 

“It’s in Nevada,” Jimin explains. “We don’t have any business there except for going to the wedding. I’d be more down to do it if I wasn’t afraid that one of us, meaning [Y/n], would push one of the others, meaning you, in the gutter.” 

“Just a little visit?” Taehyung is talented at only hearing what he wants to hear. However, that doesn’t make the conversation any more productive.

“Well not to be the acrophobic buzzkill, but why are you so adamant about visiting the Grand Canyon?” This is the first time you’ve directly addressed Taehyung since the beginning of these mind-numbing two hours. Jin, hands still on the wheel, dares to take a peek at Jungkook and smile an asshole-type smile before almost accidentally crashing into a pole. 

“Watch the road!” Hoseok cries out. Everyone else either refuses to acknowledge what just occurred or decides to spare themselves from doing so.

“Jin says that he always wanted to sleep in a motel. I have another dream.” 

“To visit the Grand Canyon?”

“Not exactly. I want to take a shit in there and see if I can hear it splatter. Think that’s possible?”

“Maybe if you angle your butthole the right way—” Jimin’s explanation is cut short.

“Oh my god, you are disgusting. Shut up. I don’t want to hear it.”  

“What did I tell you about El Chapo, [N/n]?” 

“What about El Chapo?”

“Holy shit, I think I’m confusing conversations,” Jungkook admits. Jin offers no more than an eye-roll.

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Tulsa is a dump, really. Unfortunate that you had to make a stop here but also you’re satisfied because your right asscheek feels numb right now. Might have to take Kelly for a walk, though.  

Taehyung stumbles out of the vehicle after you and all six of you seize each other fleetingly before making your way towards the gas station, a tense sort of silence following. You’re first to speak up. “Y’know, I’ve been listening to your voices for so long now that I don’t wanna look at your faces.” 

“This tbh,” Hoseok agrees with your most profound sentiments as per the usual. He’s quick to match your pace, trailing after you like a lost puppy, successfully getting Taehyung out of his way. He puts his arm around your shoulders casually and you give him that sardonic smile that’s only really reserved for him.

“Don’t say tee-bee-aytch out loud. I get humiliation by proxy.” 

Jungkook makes an exaggerated gagging sound before nudging Taehyung subtly enough that Jin is the only one who sees the interaction. Though the eldest had agreed with his deranged idea, there’s one thing that Kook knows that Jin hasn’t come to find out. 

Taehyung has an ongoing problem or maybe he’s a masochist. He’s always been one to internally get attached to these girls who’d never give him the time of day, who can’t stand him at all. The tragedy-comedy that is his best friend’s love life started on a rainy day in second grade when a girl by the name of Seulbi punched him in the face and he was hooked on her for three years after. 

After the infamous Seulbi, came Yeonji from the cheerleading club who blew off his invite to his first-ever party when they were fifteen. She’d called him a loser to his face and he was smitten with her for a while, too. 

And then, you appeared in his life seemingly out of nowhere. Hoseok’s catty best friend with a tongue sharper than her stilettos and lipstick that goes perfectly with her skin tone. 

Of course, he was aware of your existence prior to that accident he calls his first conversation with you—be it from the exciting yet flat-out brain dead antics Hoseok would describe you’d gotten caught up in at the time or from the sound of your heels sinking into the floor promptly before you entered math class.  You were always late but claimed that the teacher should be grateful because you cut in line to arrive at school earlier. You always had one of those shitty overrated pumpkin spice lattes in your manicured hands. 

Simply put, Taehyung likes you. Though after your disastrous first meeting during which, blunt-natured and seemingly lacking a sense of self-preservation, he called you a stuck up moron and you threatened to make an attempt at his life. With your bullheaded nature, things never did solve themselves after that one instance.

It’s not something that he’s expressed outwardly, but Jungkook knows him better than he knows the back of his hand. Unfortunately, he knows you too, even if not as well and he knows how you can’t get a boyfriend because you either scare them away or you find out they’re only after a quick fuck and some money. 

Regardless, Jungkook writes off his inner ramblings as irrelevant before turning to Jin in what could be described as a conspirative manner. While clumsily handing the cashier gas money, he whispers something in the other man’s ear and Jin’s eyes literally twinkle like he’s in a low-budget porno. 

He nods, furiously so, and the cashier simply stares at them like they’re two idiots that somehow merged into one. It’s not a pretty sight. 

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“What? We’re sleeping out here?” Your whining is to be expected by now. Had any of your friends written an actual, physical, list of all the things you’ve complained about so far, it’d probably fill a notebook. Thankfully enough, said list remained as a mental compilation of your not-so-epic moments. “What about the motel?” 

“Oh, so now you want a motel?” Jin quips back with a smirk. “They always come ‘round.” 

Despite his boasting and apparent eagerness to go to a motel, that doesn’t change the fact that you all find yourselves in a campsite. You’re not an outdoor person save for going to parties or on a shopping spree with Hoseok. And well, your surroundings are a bit too green right now.

Taehyung is the next person to speak up, with a tense posture and his arms crossed over his chest, almost defiantly so. “Honestly, if you don’t want to be here, I don’t understand why you keep coming to these things.”

“Well, I don’t understand why I had to invite your dumb ass here either. I guess the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” 

“Yeah, I thought Namjoon or Yoongi would be more fitting for your taste of guest,” he says, outright taunting you now, as if to remind you of your failed love rendezvous with your now close friends. 

“Well yeah, but they both denied, so I had to invite you.” 

“Ah,” he gives a slight sigh and you dismiss the sadness you register in his voice as something deserved for annoying you, “that does make more sense. Lucky me, I guess.”

“Awkies,” Jungkook announces as if it’s something that needs to be announced. Hoseok simply shrugs, and though you’re definitely not looking forward to sleeping out in the woods, he seems excited to try something new. 

There’s something hilarious about seeing a bunch of upper-class kids trying to set up tents and start a fire. You’ve converted to the cavemen with Hoseok, seemingly unaware that engaging in a one-sided debate with a bundle of sticks won’t make them randomly engulf in flames while Hoseok is trying out a trick he saw in the movies.

Honestly, it’s enough of a miracle that you actually went out in the woods and helped without tripping your silly ass and getting lost among the catacombs. Granted, Hoseok would’ve been compassionate enough to look for you had you gotten lost, but you probably wouldn’t get over the trauma of being covered in mud. 

Taehyung notices you both struggling. Part of him wants to make amends with you and a bigger part of him wants to leave Jimin to scramble on his own. Not that he’s sadistic or anything, he just likes seeing others suffer sometimes for entertainment purposes. 

Anyways. 

He approaches casually, like the kind of casual where you can tell that the person has an ulterior motive that they don’t want to reveal. Hoseok appears happy to see him, like he’s a savior on a white horse, while you don’t acknowledge him that much except for a sharp question regarding what he wants. 

He greets the older boy with one of these grins you won’t admit you enjoy looking at before roaming through the pockets of his jacket. Now that you’ve noticed him wearing one, you come to the sudden realization that it is getting quite breezy. 

Taehyung has the habit of scrunching his nose when he’s looking for something and then unconsciously smile broadly after succeeding in finding it. You don’t like that you’re aware of that and you especially don’t like that you can pinpoint the repetitive action.

It appears that Taehyung was looking for a lighter, of all things. 

“I thought you quit smoking?” You simply give him an incredulous look. 

He doesn’t grace you with an answer. Though he doesn’t reek of the putrid smell, you’re still hoping that the answer to that question is yes. Instead of soothing your curiosity, however, he uses the lighter to ignite a spark in the firewood and you guess that it’ll have to do.

“Well, that was quite pathetic,” you comment unhelpfully. 

“Better than Hobi’s attempts and uh, whatever the fuck you were doing.” 

Hoseok is enthusiastic to announce that the bonfire’s ready. You watch the clumsily prepped three tents in disinterest, not bothering to defend your attempt at enchantment to him. “Hoseokie, you’re gonna share a tent with me right?” 

“Hoseokie,” Jin repeats, but in good fun, “I thought you were gonna crash with me tonight?”

You roll your eyes before redirecting your gaze towards Jimin and Jungkook. By the guilty smile Jungkook gives you, you can tell he doesn’t plan on letting Jimin out of his clown clutches. You narrow your expression and jut your lip out disapprovingly. 

“Well, Mr. Handsome,” Jin interrupts whatever you have to say with a thank you, “since you and Kook have been jointed by the assholes since we got here, I don’t see what the problem is.” 

“I think you’re just saying that because you don’t wanna sleep with Tae,” Hoseok comments obliviously. 

“What he said. Also, these crackwhores are planning something, and I’m going to find out what.”

“Well, you’re in tough luck because Hoseok promised,” Jin argues, emphasizing the word promise. He has a shit-eating grin on his face and he’s not even denying your accusation. 

Taehyung coughs once. The second time is overkill and sounds even faker than the first one. “Sorry, but if [Y/n] isn’t comfortable sharing the tent with me, it doesn’t really matter what Hoseok promised.” 

You gape at him. This is probably the first intelligent thing that you’ve heard come out of his mouth. You almost reconsider your treatment of him after that, but then you remember that a guy being half-decent isn’t something you’re supposed to celebrate. You suppose that even he looks like a saint compared to some of your exes.

Everyone notices the conflict on your face but doesn’t say anything about it. Jin admits that Taehyung’s right with a wail yet the tension doesn’t dissolve, somehow. You excuse yourself by declaring that you’re going to get the blankets out of the SUV. 

“Damn, that bad huh?” Jungkook laughs. It’s the hyena laugh that kind of doesn’t suit his face but also the one he does when he’s having fun for no good reason. 

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“I heard in the girls’ bathroom once that this girl went on a diet where she only eats bananas for three months. Like, five a day,” you explain while you munch on your banana in front of the bonfire. Needless to say, you’ve come out to be severely underprepared in terms of food on your first day. 

“That sounds like a strategy to make yourself unhinged,” Hoseok retorts. He believes your story but he’s skeptical about that banana business. “I’d never do that.” 

“Me neither. Diets are stupid, anyway, can’t a bitch eat?” 

Jungkook reaches over and high-fives you, looking at you like you’ve just invented air or some shit. “Amen to that sister.” 

“By the way, what’s the plan for tomorrow?” Jimin is the one to speak up this time. 

“I have quite the plan for you, alright,” Jin laughs. His next statement, however, is the embodiment of his immature nature. “But that banana talk had me all distracted.”

Everyone collectively groans. You’re not really sure if what he said would classify as a dad joke at this point; you’re now entering single-and-desperate-dad joke territory. Can’t say that you’d enjoy it coming from someone else, but Jin is Jin.

“Anyways,” he dismisses his previous remark with an easy-going smile and a wave of his hand in thin air, “we’re going to a breakfast place first thing in the morning. By foot.” 

His grin is mischievous. You think this is the worst idea he’s had yet and no one else present seems attracted by the prospect of it either, so you vocally oppose him with a raised brow. “Don’t you realize how likely it is we’ll get lost?” 

“Yeah, I also don’t wanna walk too much.” Hoseok’s always one to back you up.

“Technology doesn’t lie, [Y/n].”

“If technology doesn’t lie how come I had a D on my maths test in junior year when I used Photomath?” 

Hoseok agrees, remembering the incident. That day was truly one of sorrow. 

“Technology only lies if you’re gullible enough,” Jin now changes the narrative. 

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You sneak out of your and Hoseok’s tent with a brief explanation thrown over your shoulder. Something about getting your make-up wipes from the trunk. Hoseok mutters inspiring words of advice—be careful, it’s dark and who knows what animal puke is on the ground—and you stumble your way to the SUV. 

Shoving the keys in the hole proves to be a difficult task, however. You aimlessly jut it in, hoping to hit the correct place by some sort of miracle. This is the moment that you realize that your eyes aren’t so good at adapting to the darkness. 

“Hey, what’re you doing?”

You jump up out of pure reflex. Startled, you whip around with a bemused look on your face. You’re gonna get wrinkles, damn it. 

“Woah, girl jumps in heels,” Taehyung comments dryly. 

“Don’t sneak up on me, you idiot cokehead,” you retort. You’re not sure why you said that. He’s not a cokehead. 

“No, but seriously, what’re you doing?” 

“I��m trying to look for my make-up wipes.” 

Taehyung takes the keys from you. Without half as much fumbling as you’d done previously, he opens the trunk and you proceed with looking through your purse, only to come to the conclusion that you’ve forgotten your make-up lines somewhere. There’s now a new resolve, clear as day in your twisted mind—you have to find the supermarket you passed by on your way here and buy new ones.

“Did you find them?”

“No.” You scoff. An angry thaw and the trunk is now closed. “I’m going to buy some.” 

“Woah, calm down tiger. Can’t you just sleep with it?” 

“No! Do you know how bad that is for your skin?” 

“Well, we could find a river and you could wipe your face with the dirty water.” 

You give him a blank stare, barely suppressing a small giggle. “Do you understand how ridiculous you’re being?” 

“I’m being ridiculous?”

Silence.

“...You’re not planning to go off in the woods during the dawn of asscrack, right?” 

“The what? Yeah.”

Taehyung looks towards your tent only to see that the light is completely shut down. Hoseok must be asleep already. “I’ll go with you.” 

You roll your eyes. “Do whatever you want.” 

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“So, why do you hate your cousin so much?” Taehyung asks abruptly from behind you. 

Most of your walk has been a silent one, so far, except for an occasional grumble from you and an absentminded one-liner from him. There’s also the sound of sticks crumbling under your high-heels that’s slightly irritating. 

“Because she’s unfunny,” you reply seriously.

“You have issues.” This is probably the least significant reason someone has ever hated somebody else for, in the entire history of hatred. Strangely enough, however, Taehyung can’t help finding it endearing how outlandish you can be.

“I’m sorry, I must have Alzheimer’s because I don’t remember asking,” you snap with a roll of your eyes. 

“You know, I have a dog,” he begins dramatically. “And sometimes he shits on the carpet and one time he puked on me, but I still love him very much. He’s gang, you feel?” 

“I don’t see how that helps with my family situation.”

“I never said it’s supposed to help, I just wanted to talk about myself.” He snickers. You’re getting the most violent of urges. 

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Leering over the thin metal fence that looms over an otherwise mundane hill gives you an idea. Down the admittedly high hill, the supermarket is obnoxiously lit up. However, the hideous sight doesn’t deter you—this is what your nirvana looks like in the given moment.

With one bold move, you lift your leg up the fence and Taehyung considers you, your motives and perhaps even your life until now. “What are you doing?” 

“It’ll be faster if I go down the hill.” 

“You’re gonna break your ankles in these shoes,” he rebuts, his voice a tilted monotone. “Also, I can see your underwear like this.” 

“Perveeeeert.” This is your final taunt before you do make it over the short fence and onto the other side. Examining the hill from up close—but not before you roll your miniskirt down—you come to two conclusions. The first one is that it’s quite steep and the second one comes when you’re one step down, that maybe, just maybe, you’re a bit deranged.

With your back turned to him, you don’t get to see Taehyung experiencing the five stages of grief. There’s obvious conflict on his face and to be precise, his current dilemma is between worry for you and a lack of power to stop you. Perhaps had you turned around, you’d find the sight entertaining.

His movements are leisurely once he does get in motion. Taehyung’s plan is to simply help you up now that he noticed that you’re hesitating to go further than you’ve already gone. 

His voice cutting through the night’s silence startles you. “Hey, you really shouldn’t do this.” 

You stumble. 

As tragic as that is, there’s something else to placate you; you’ve never seen Taehyung move so fast. Not even during the blip test in high school. The rest of his actions are less endearing—he throws you over his shoulder carelessly, stumbles onto the sidewalk and drops you like it’s hot. And then your legs are a bit wobbly, but you pretend they aren’t. 

The unnerving silence remains all the way to the supermarket, then back to the campsite and even when Taehyung’s awkwardly using his phone as a flashlight in your face while you remove your make-up. There’s nothing to say, except maybe if he were to ask you a question that’s not to your liking.

(He’s not that bad.)

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Jin is in a hurry, but you’re not sure what for. It’s been practically less than a day since you started this road trip, but it feels longer. You’re conflicted about how to feel regarding that, but even so, Jimin and Hoseok’s enthusiasm is hard to ignore. 

The feline smile on your face drops the moment Jungkook basically drags you out of your tent, bare-faced and severely underdressed. Well, to be honest, you blend in with them just fine, but in your head, you’re severely underdressed. Something more boujee is usually your style, but you realize your predicament won’t magically change the longer you’re walking in what feels like the middle of nowhere. 

Tusla is gross, yes, but maybe Oklahoma is just gross in general. 

When you’re unhappy, you don’t get shy about it—honesty is the best policy, after all. So you’re going on one of those annoying tangents you like to go on like it’s second nature to you. Maybe it is. 

Taehyung drones out whatever it is you’re saying the moment you start talking about a pimple in your nostril that has hair growing out of it. He’s not particularly grossed out by this revelation, rather, he doesn’t like listening to you go on and on about everything you don’t like about yourself. 

“And I couldn’t put on that necklace you got me for my birthday,” you complain before linking your arms with Hoseok’s and feigning a sniff.

“That is pretty horrible,” he hums in agreement. “I think I have a rash on my thigh.” 

“See, if Jungkook wasn’t being horrible I could probably get some kinda product to smear on it.”

Taehyung feigns a loud yawn. Tagging along with you and Hoseok isn’t as tiring as he’d like to make it out to be. 

“What’re you yawning so blatantly for? I hate being interrupted.” You roll your eyes cockily. 

“Sorry, I almost fell asleep during this uninteresting speech of yours.”

You fume again and Hoseok reassures you with something along the lines of don’t worry, [Y/n], it’s very interesting. Then, silence follows. It always seems to end up like this between the two of you. 

“Well, if it helps,” Taehyung starts, tone breezy, “you’re still beautiful.” 

You feel your face heat up. Sure, boys have given you plenty of compliments before—you’re no stranger to it—hot, sexy and maybe pretty on a good day. But beautiful? Especially without any make-up on? This is definitely something new. 

Hoseok smiles. “Yeah, he’s right.” 

You don’t want to admit just how flattered you really are. “Of course I am.”

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You take the first thing you find to your liking once you reach the breakfast place. Actually, it’s more brunch than it is breakfast, but all that walking is making you starve so you don’t feel particularly inclined to be hung up on semantics. 

“It’s on me.” Jungkook sweeps in smoothly, giving you a flashy smile. 

“Fuck off. I’m still mad at you.”

“You might be, but not for long,” he argues with an obnoxious grin on his face. “They call it… The Kook Effect.” 

You shake your head. “I’m pretty sure you just made that up.”

“Yeah? Remember when you won a bet against Jimin and he had to call you Supreme Majesty in freshman year? And then you pretended that he did it out of his own volition.” 

“Oh, I’m not taking this from you and your dead trim.”

“My trim is fine, thanks.”

“Dead trim!” you repeat, almost frantic. You’re so caught up with Jungkook’s dead trim that you don’t notice that Taehyung is giving you a cheesy smile as he buys you your food. He looks like the greasiest gentleman alive when he hands it to you. 

“And what’s that about?”

“In junior year, at summer camp, they took away our phones because someone recorded the instructor jerking off. And then like, blackmailed him.” 

You quirk an eyebrow up at this, unsure what he’s hinting at. “Right.”

“Right. And then they took all of our phones for a month and you started crying about how your life is a living nightmare.” 

“Right…” you trail off, suddenly embarrassed as if that hadn’t happened a whole two years ago. But like, it totally was a big deal! “The no phone rule was the worst. Even worse than the public bathroom rule.”

“I did it. I’m making it up to you,” he explains. 

You feel your mouth twitch into a small smile, one that he hasn’t quite seen on you before. “I forgive you this once, then.” 

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“We’re going to a hotel after sightseeing,” Jin explains. It’s like he’s got everything figured out all by himself and perhaps with the help of Jungkook’s annoying personality. “I arranged the rooms and everything while you were eating.” 

“Quite epic,” Jimin comments absentmindedly. “Wait, rooms? Like, you mean who’s rooming with who?” 

“Yeah, I finished the registration.” He stares directly at you and then Taehyung. “You could switch if you wanted to, it doesn’t really matter.”

You give him a light glare, already having a brief idea of what he’s done, but don’t comment any further. With a sense of deja vu, you speak up again. “What about the motel?” 

“I wasn’t sure if we’re going to be passing by one today, so I thought hey! Better safe than sorry.” 

Everyone nods in half-agreement until Jin speaks up again. “Plus, you guys reek. You should shower. Couldn’t be me.”

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Predictably, Jin did set you and Taehyung up. You can’t tell what kind of game he and Jungkook are playing, however, the poor boy isn’t half as insufferable in your eyes ever since this road trip began, so maybe you should thank them. Still, you don’t trust them—their minds are as twisted as yours.

As the two of you are dragging your luggage towards your shared room, Taehyung reminds you that you’re free to tell him if you don’t want to sleep with him. “I could go to Jungkook’s room or something.”

You find the idea of being alone more unfavorable than you thought you would. Perhaps your high-school, drastically more histrionic, self would’ve found anything more pleasant than sharing a room with Taehyung. You’re a (slightly) changed person now, though. Or at least you’d like to believe you are.

“Let’s put it like this. I hate a lot of things.”

“You don’t need to tell me that, I already know,” he interrupts with a crude giggle. 

“But you’re not one of them,” you admit. 

There’s also the fact that the two of you are blatantly ignoring that you could switch with Jin and sleep with Hoseok instead.

No more words are spoken between the two of you that day. New Mexico isn’t half as bad as Oklahoma was. 

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You wake up before Taehyung does, punctually so. Rolling out of bed, you partly don’t care whether you wake him but at the same time, you try to avoid making too much noise before slipping into the bathroom. Though you’re definitely one to value your beauty sleep, yesterday’s incident left you paranoid over whether Jungkook or Jin would catch you unprepared. 

You go through your routine calmly and by the time Taehyung goes in the bathroom to take a piss, you’re ready to start doing your make-up. You stare at the foundation in your hand but before you can apply it, you hesitate. 

Do I need make-up to be desirable?

Of course, you’re aware that not all women who use make-up are insecure, or that it’s always necessarily toxic for your self-esteem. And you thought that was the case with you as well, but your doubts suggest otherwise. Swiftly, you put all of your stuff away, stick with your trusty lipstick and nothing else. 

“Morning,” he says, groggy still. 

“Morning.” You look over to him from the corner of your eye and he looks kind of dazed. “Jin says we’re staying here until tomorrow morning.” 

“Cool. Hotel’s nice. The scenery too.” 

“I guess.” 

There’s something cripplingly awkward when the two of you aren’t hurling insults at each other, you realize. 

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You’re off somewhere with Hoseok and Jin when Taehyung is hanging out with Jimin and Jungkook. Turns out their room has a nice balcony, and with the others out of the picture, there’s some kind of buzzed chatter about incoherent topics swirling around. 

Jungkook suddenly decides that it’s a good idea to start talking about his sexcapades. Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe his mind’s slipping. Jimin kind of wants to admit how much he doesn’t care what his friend does outside of watching anime and playing video games, but there’s also a part of him that’s morbidly intrigued by Jungkook’s words. Like a dark spell or something. 

“I wanted to hit it off with [Y/n] in high school,” he admits bluntly.

The other two stare at him.

“Oh really? What made you change your mind?” Jimin asks, now more awake than ever. 

“Dunno. Like, she’s more like, the bitchy rival in rom-coms, not the protagonist. I liked her, but I didn’t think I could handle her,” he admits.

“Once we were clubbing and this guy was messing with me and I complained to her about it,” Jimin begins, leaning into his chair with a fond smile on his face, “and she was all like, I’ll show him. And I was like, what? And she was like, I’ll show him who he’s dealing with. And then I was like, okay, maybe don’t show him that much.” 

The three of them chuckle. Taehyung talks for the first time in a while. “Nah, I agree.”

“You dig it though, right?” 

Jimin gives him a knowing look right after Jungkook shoots his question with a drunken smile. He guesses that since Hoseok isn’t here, he can finally admit it. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. But I can’t get things right with her.” 

“What do you mean?”

“It’s like, we’re either fighting or it’s really awkward.” 

“You’re on your own.” Jimin dismisses him with a wave of his hand. “I don’t think she hates you that much. It’s always Taehyung this, Taehyung that.” 

“True,” Jungkook agrees. “Like yes, maybe she’s complaining about you half the time and I know she loves gossiping but I’ve never heard her talk about someone else that much. Except maybe Yoongi. What I’m sayin’ is, you should give it a shot.”

“Why do you guys even fight so much?” Jimin laughs. “Whenever it happens, I like, forget what even happened to lead up to that.” 

“Well, you know me. I’m always too honest for my own good and when I hit her with some snark she starts getting all defensive. I just...” He sounds defeated by the time he’s finished with his explanation. Taehyung’s shoulders visibly slump and his frame slides down the uncomfortable chair. “I just want to get along with her.” 

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The fourth day is the first time you actually aren’t sure where you are. Save for supposedly being close to Nevada by now, you tuned out the rest of Jin’s explanation despite your previous attempts at keeping up with your location. 

Regardless, what’s important is living in the present. And the present for you right now is walking down a nameless street, in a mess of other tourists, with your pants uncomfortably sticking to your ass with sweat. In short, you feel gross. 

Taehyung doesn’t seem to be having the same problem, while you can’t even fake being unfazed. You envy him just the tiniest bit. 

A trashy souvenir shop seems to catch Taehyung’s attention. In the scorching heat and sand-yellow scenery of this town, however, even that seems more appealing. So when he urges you to go with him, you find yourself reluctantly agreeing. 

When you step in, the air conditioning of the otherwise homey shop welcomes you like taking a breather during an overcrowded party. You let an unconscious smile take over your face when you greet the cashier. She’s cute and her adorableness factor only spikes up when she practically beams at the sight of customers. 

“Hi! Please, feel free to look around.” 

“We will,” Taehyung answers offhandedly. Her gaze lingers on him. 

Most of the things don’t interest you. Actually, they’re hideous if you had to be completely honest. He doesn’t seem that enamored by them either, but you can tell he finds more redeeming qualities about them than you do. 

Your eyes almost bulge out of your face when you see the most live-laugh-love-esque decoration to exist. Like something your mom would laugh-react to on Facebook. 

The offender is no more than three inches tall and wide, a ceramic plate with a cartoony burger portrayed on it. It’s holding a flag that says two simple words: “Nice Buns!” 

You can’t tell if it’s the radioactivity of Jungkook’s cooking from earlier or if this thing is what’s making you nauseous. However, food-poisoning or not, you’re quite disgusted by what you’ve just seen. “Oh my god, the caucasity.” 

“Aw, you don’t like it?” Taehyung says with a mocking pout. “I think it’s cute.” 

“What’s wrong with you? It’s corny.”

“No, it isn’t. It might’ve been if it was a corn-dog, though.” 

You heaved an over-dramatic sigh. “You’re saying words that have no positive impact on my life.”

“I think I’ll buy it,” he declares, before checking the price and realizing he hasn’t brought enough money with himself. 

You shake your head. “I’m not gonna be an accomplice to… that.” 

“Well, of course not. This is your Valentine’s present.”

“Go to hell. As if I’d be your Valentine in the first place,” you reply sardonically before pushing him out of the way.  

Taehyung realizes something at that moment. Even outside your evident disinterest in him and his affairs, the two of you are completely incompatible. You, too quick to judge and be offended and him, too quickly to say the first thing on his mind, obviously don’t mesh smoothly. 

Neither of the boyfriends you’ve had that he’s spoken to is anything like him, either. If Namjoon and Yoongi have one thing in common, it’s that they’re both calm, collected and have a good head screwed securely on top of their shoulders. He’s not like that.

Even so, that revelation only makes the concept of being with you more alluring. 

Kim Taehyung is an idiot. But more importantly, with one glance towards the admittedly good-looking cashier making googly eyes at him, Kim Taehyung makes a decision.

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While you’re taking a shit in a nearby cafeteria, you receive a text from Taehyung. This is shocking by itself since despite the two of you having each others’ numbers, you never really text. 

[15:30] pain in the neck: im going on a date w/ the cashier

[15:30] pain in the neck: feel free to leave

[15:45] Princess Complex: i’m just gonna hang with jungkook thank god

Why is your stomach sinking?

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Once you meet up with Jungkook, you explain the situation briefly. He quickly looks you over, confusion evident on his face. “What? On a date?”

“Yeah, he just kinda left me in the toilet,” you confirm with a shrug. “Anyways, where do you wanna go?” 

It’s not like Jungkook is an oblivious idiot with the emotional capacity of your aunt’s mutated sixth toe, even if he may appear to be. But you never thought he’d call you out the moment your overly confident facade starts slipping. His gaze softens. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?” 

He isn’t examining you when he asks. No, he appears to be looking off, somewhere behind you. However, you remain ignorant to that fact. 

“Yes! Why would I care? I’d rather drink toilet water for ten years straight than spend any more time with that moron,” you snap, too worked up for someone who supposedly doesn’t care. 

“Is that how you really feel about Taehyung?”

“Yes! Yes, oh my god, let it go.”

Jungkook makes one more helpless expression, shrugs lightly, and you fail to realize that neither of those gestures is directed at you. “Let’s go to the arcade.”

“I’m not really into video games,” you lie as you run your hand through your hair, “but fine.”

“Hell yeah.”

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When Taehyung goes back to your room in the trashy motel, notably late during the night for a mere first date, the atmosphere is tense. There’s a crease in your brows when you unlock the door and obvious bite marks over your bare lips. He stumbles ahead to enter, but you continue blocking his path with your arms frigidly crossed over your chest.

“You’re late.” 

“And what’s it to you?” He’s never spoken to you so harshly. There are moments where his words bite, but never does he say them with an expression and tone that are so frosty.

“Nothing in particular.” You move out of his way, finally, and he enters. You briefly wonder if he’s had alcohol before you start talking again. “I’ve been stuck in this room for like, an hour because the keys are in me. Waiting for you...”

“Poor you.”

“Excuse me?”

“I heard what you said about me to Jungkook. You know, I’m starting to understand why you scared away all your exes.”

Warth washes over you in waves for a millisecond before it disperses into nothingness, a cold numbness that makes your back shiver. Your gaze on him is empty yet livid at the same time and he cowers under it. You’re not sure if the guilt on his face is a flicker of your imagination or if it’s genuine, but you hope it’s the latter. 

It’s never his words that are a big deal to you. It’s the way he speaks every syllable, so earnestly with truth laced in every letter, that makes you go off the hook. Because deep down, you’re aware that he doesn’t mean to be malicious or to offend, it’s merely him telling his truth.

You grab a few things impulsively with a mundane declaration, before storming off god knows where. “I’m not sleeping here tonight.”

When the door clicks behind your frame, Taehyung backs down and sprawls out across the bed. Truthfully, he regretted his words before he even opened his mouth. But he was so angry, be it with you or with himself.

It just seemed so unfair that you could blow him away time after time and yet, on his date the only thing on his mind was you. The mediocre make-out session and him awkwardly leaving out of nowhere didn’t help, either. And then you had to be so perfect, waiting for him instead of locking his ass out like he thought you would.

It isn’t the girl’s fault she’s raised to be as sweet as sugar while you’re more like citrus. He’s always had a knack for lemons, anyway.

The fact that you spent the rest of the day with Jungkook only aggravates him further, the younger’s words repeating in his head. I tried to hit it off with [Y/n] in high school, or whatever it was that he said exactly. All of this is his own fault, anyway—if he hadn’t been so temperamental, you would’ve stayed with him for the rest of the day.

Taehyung stares at the cheap lights hanging on the ceiling until his eyes hurt that night.

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Half-way through your trek to Hoseok’s room, you crumble. A sob escapes your throat and then another one. After these two instances, your tears don’t cease. 

At first, Jimin is excited to see you at their door but his smile slips the moment he realizes what a bad state you’re in. You’re practically making whale noises while desperately searching for Hoseok. 

“I’ll give you two a moment.” He gives you one final look-over and leaves with a not-so-threatening threat. “Or maybe thirty. You better be smiling and singing Toxic by the time I’m back, [Y/n].”

Hoseok rushes to hug you. “God, girl, what’s wrong?”

“I like Taehyung.” 

“Is that it? You’re a strong girl, y’know, I never pictured you crying over some pretty boy.” 

“No. I’m crying because I’ve liked him all this fucking time and I tried to run away from him because I’m scared. And he said the most horrible thing to me,” you explain as you bury yourself deeper into his embrace. “That’s why I’m crying.”

“I hope he isn’t allergic to hands, because he’s about to catch them. Actually, I hope he is allergic.” Hoseok isn’t one to ask about details. He lets you get it out of your system, makes a few promises (most often of violence) and then allows you to elaborate if you wish to do so.

You laugh, but it turns into choking considering how much snot you have running down your face by now. “He said that he understands why my exes run away from me. I mean, I— I said something rude about him first, but Jungkook was backing me into a corner and I didn’t know he would even find out about it, I just—”

“Forget about him, forget about Jungkook, everyone. Tonight is for Britney,” Hoseok commands more than he asks you.

You smile sadly at him before uselessly wiping your tears away and giggling like you’re on the brink of losing your mind. Perhaps you are.

“My 45-carat booger. Hey, let’s make Jimin do the chicken dance,” Hoseok starts off like he’s coddling you in his strange way of doing so, but then quickly turns diabolical. He throws some tissues at you and you accept them. If there’s one thing you’re truly grateful for, it’d be your best friend.

You nod, suddenly more excited than you should be. Hoseok’s right—you don’t need some pretty boy when queen Britney is watching over you.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

The next day, you’re wearing a full-face of make-up, and Taehyung notices it. Hoseok’s driving and you’re in the passenger seat, talking about some nonsense as usually do. The atmosphere is light, with Jimin and Jungkook occasionally joining in your conversation and Jin sleeping with his forehead pressed against the window.

Truth to be told, Taehyung feels like a zombie right now. Pretending that your scuffle with him meant nothing to you only convinces him further how little you care about anything that has to do with him.

“I think we’ll be in Las Vegas soon,” Hoseok announces cheerily.

On one hand, you’re happy to finally be seeing the end of this road trip. Though you’ve technically just been relaxing, you wanted to be done with your cousin’s dumb wedding and go back to spending an average amount of time with your friends. You want to forget how flippant things are between you and Taehyung, your quote-unquote friendship dictated by mood swings rather than actual feelings.

“Fuck yeah! I wanna get drunk in Vegas,” you say with a smirk. “It’s on my bucket list.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah.”

“You want to get drunk everywhere,” Jungkook corrects with a laugh. You can’t help agreeing with him. “And Jin will probably stay in the hotel and play Candy Crush or something.”

“Ew, ew, ew, a fucking millenial,” you exclaim in mock disgust.

“Jin can be a beast if he wants to. Remember when he twerked in front of the whole school on Taehyung’s birthday party?”

“Shit was wild, man.”

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

No one except you, Hoseok and Taehyung himself is aware of what transpired yesterday. So Jungkook and Jin are still stubbornly placing the two of you together, yet you’re too powerless to fight it.

The hotel is a fancy one, courtesy of your annoying cousin. She’s been texting you and you sent a short message back to inform her you’ve arrived, but you haven't bothered to deal with her provocations any further. 

After dumping his luggage near his bed, Taehyung was straight out of the room and you started getting ready. And that was that. 

You feel more like yourself when you find the wine hidden in the fridge, a free present from the hotel. Or maybe your cousin’s way of making peace. Ha, as if that’d happen. 

When Taehyung comes back to get dressed, you’re already tipsy and acting like a fool.

“Drinking already?” There are many things that Taehyung wants to say to you. An apology he’s too sober to say and a confession you’re too drunk to hear, to begin with. 

“It’s pre-game,” you explain dizzily. “You know. I never told you why I hate my cousin so much. She used to bully me and she stole my first boyfriend from me. And we never got past it.”

With your trademark look, high-heels, acrylics, a fancy yet revealing dress along with whatever else you consider fashionable at the moment, Taehyung feels familiarity staring at your lopsided smirk. Though he’s gotten glimpses of other sides of you during these past few days, like how you like cuddling during the night, this is the epitome of who you are.

“Yeah,” he replies agreeably, though you’re not sure what for.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but Hoseok is waiting for me. So, this is bye-bye.” 

“See you there.”

“Probably not.” You snicker. Taehyung can tell that you’re still upset with him.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

You’re so wasted that the things happening around you aren’t really making sense anymore. While you and Hoseok were drinking together for a while, at one point Jungkook whisked him away, then there’s a blank in your memory and now you’re here. Alone. And you’ve lost count of how many drinks you’ve had. 

A man, that’s definitely a few years older than you, finally approaches you after observing you from afar. He says some sort of sleazy line—you’re not sure what it is, you’re not really listening—and offers you a drink. 

You consider him. He’s not your type at all and that pornstache isn’t helping his case but, when you look at Taehyung and see him talking and having fun while you’re being an alcoholic by your lonesome and moping about him, you quickly accept his offer. Pornstache or not. 

“Pick anything you’d like, kitten,” he purrs, in an attempt at being seductive. 

“Well first off I’m not a furry so don’t call me that,” you snap with a self-assured grin. And then you start listing off the most expensive drinks on the menu. 

This man is so enamored by you that he buys you all of them. You’re three steps closer to alcohol poisoning when you clumsily stumble onto the dance floor along with him, running your hand over his jaw in what you believe to be a sensual manner. He seems to dig it, but from an outsider’s perspective the two of you look like junkies trying to get off. 

Your experience in the club is romanticized. The dim lights are reminiscent to those few times you’ve gone to a rave and it reeks of alcohol, overpriced perfumes and sweat. You and your nameless pathetic fan mingle with the grinding crowd and begin imitating them. 

As the poet Lady Gaga once said, “redlight pornographic dance fight”. 

The act itself is indifferent to you. From across the room, Taehyung locks eyes with you and you’re not really sure why but you feel this sudden need to provoke him, even when you know he most likely wouldn’t care. You sloppily kiss your suitor’s cheek while looking at him intensely from across the room. A red trail from your wet lips makes its way down his face.

For the sake of pettiness, you might’ve gone further—I mean, you were already playing some weird game of tug-and-war but with clothes—but you don’t want to know the feeling of this guy’s lips against yours. He finds the mostly innocent action as an invitation, though, and abruptly halts your staring contest with Taehyung by forcing you into a greedy kiss.

Pushing him away, you give him a pointed stare and rejection is clear on his face. “Excuse me…” 

He’s a terrible kisser. 

Pushing through everyone that’s in your way, you make your escape through the first door you find. In your intoxicated parade, you fail to make sense of the words ‘CLOSED’ that are so blatantly taped over the entrance. So, you find yourself in front of a swimming pool. 

The cold breeze outside prickles at your skin unpleasantly, and a quick look around tells you that there’s no one around to put this in their cringe compilation. Apparently more disgusted than you’d initially thought, you puke your guts out in front of the pool. Now light-headed and somehow empty, you stare at your vomit and take a deep breath. 

“Hey, why’d you run away?” Your suitor from earlier appears to have followed you outside. You stare at your feet—doesn’t he understand that you wanted to get away from him?

“You’re a bad kisser,” you say bluntly after getting over your little trance. 

“Give me a chance to change your mind then,” he offers smugly, taking menacing steps towards you. You move away instinctively before you’re quickly backed into a wall, with his two hands trapping you in between. 

Your eyes widen with fear and you sink into yourself. If you had anything else to puke out, you’re sure you would’ve done so at this point. “I have sharp nails and I’m not afraid to use them.”

“Oh, she bites-”

The events that play out next happen so slowly, you’re not sure why you’re surprised. Taehyung appears, and you do see him in your peripheral vision, stares for a bit before knocking the guy out with a punch to his temple. He falls unconscious on the ground.

“Oh god, did I kill him?” he asks, a vacant look on his face. He imagined his first kill to be more thrilling, but on second thought, he’s not sure why he was thinking about that without being under the influence of substances in the first place. 

“I’d be happy if he’s dead, if that helps,” you comment dryly. 

“Do we dump the body in the pool or what?”

The two of you are drunk enough to consider it. Your mind is blank for a bit, before you finally speak up. “I’m trying to think of what I saw on How To Get Away With Murder, but it’s not coming to me. But like, on Blacklisted, there was this guy who like, made the corpses turn to gas or something!”

“You watch too much TV. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s called The Blacklist.”

“Whatever. Do you know how to do that?”

“No.”

“Hey, what’s going on here?” A new voice cuts in.

“You better come up with something convincing or we’ll have to kill him too,” you urge.

“Did you say something?”

“No.”

“Umm, awkward believe it yeah,” Taehyung begins, a strong start. “This guy slipped on her puke and hit his head. And he has a concussion now.”

“Man, that sucks,” the guy says. You’re relieved that he’s as trashed as he is, otherwise the situation would’ve went really badly, considering how Taehyung straight-up lied to his face. “I’ll go call someone over ‘ere.”

Once he’s out of sight, the two of you stare at each other and decide to flee the country. But then change the plan with the more economically-efficient idea to simply leave the club. 

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

“Why were you with that guy anyway?” Taehyung asks. Frankly put, neither of you know where you’re going, but you’re boldly leading him through the artificially-lit streets of Las Vegas as if you’re born there. Where you end up is a concern your sober selves of tomorrow should worry about.

“I wanted to make you jealous,” you reply, bold, like everything you do when you’re drunk is. 

“...I don’t get it.”

“You pissed me off so much yesterday. And you made me jealous when you went out with that cashier. But also, you killed a guy for me, so I guess I’m not mad at you anymore.” 

“Well aren’t you high-maintenance,” he retorts sarcastically, gaining what feels like a confidence spurt because of your sudden confession. “You don’t have anything to be jealous of, anyway. The only thing I had on my mind during that stupid fucking date was you.”

You freeze up. You thought that your own attitude was what made any possibility of him returning your feelings seem laughable. Even if it’s drunk blabber, alcohol is an honesty elixir, at least in your case. “Kiss me?” 

He doesn’t need to be told twice, attacking your lips so eagerly you’d consider it funny if you were in a right state of mind. Still, your reciprocation is just as hungry, so maybe you don’t have any room to laugh. He is indulging you, after all.

The wipeout that happened at the club happens again and you’re left to wonder how things escalated. From teeth clashing against each other in pure excitement, you’re left hovering over Taehyung’s form and straddling him unsteadily.

He reaches under your already high dress and the glimpse of your panties seems to excite him. “You have no idea how much I’ve thought about this,” he admits breezily. 

You smile, a teasing one, adjusting yourself better. “You don’t need to be so dramatic about it, it’s just underwear.” 

“Dramatic is how many times I’ve jerked off after we went to the supermarket and you flashed me.”

“Ewwww, we shared a bed like three times, freak,” you scold and he pouts when you distance yourself from him. 

“I was just trying to be funny!”

“Not funny. Didn’t laugh. It’s better when you don’t talk,” you instruct before leaning down again to kiss him. At least he’s having fun with groping whatever he can get his hands on. 

“You’re so annoying it turns me on. Always whining, it drives me nuts how much I really like you.”

You snicker. “Well, I sure am feelin’ the love here.”

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

When you wake up, you register three things. Four, actually. First—your left shoe is missing. Second— Taehyung is knocked out cold next to you. Third—you don’t know where you are, except for the fact that there’s a garbage bin next to you. Fourth—your head is throbbing with pain and you’re so sore you’re not sure if you can walk. Needless to say, you had the wild night in Vegas you wished for in your bucket list, and you only half-regret it.

You see your shoe discarded near you and nudge it with your toe for a bit before finally gathering enough power to sit up and put it on. Or so you think, because the moment you’re propped in a standing position, you vomit like you did yesterday. 

Speaking of yesterday, the only thing you remember is that you and Taehyung were convinced that he’s now a murderer on the run, confessing your feelings for each other in an anti-climactic manner and then having like seven rounds of public sex. 

With a recap of yesterday’s events, you digress and put your shoe on before reaching in your purse. Surprisingly, you haven’t been robbed. Fishing your phone out, you come to the conclusion that you’ve been knocked out cold for way too long. 

Hoseok has generously spammed you with seventy texts, but you don’t bother to read them, already assuming that the gist is something about where the fuck you and Taehyung are. Instead, you call him immediately. 

“Hi,” you greet casually.

“[Y/n]! Where the fuck are you and Tae? We were so worried. Jin almost declared you two missing. But on the positive side, Jungkook didn’t care because he got food poisoning yesterday at the club.”

“I don’t know where we are, but he’s with me.”

“What do you mean?!”

“I’ll send you my location. I don’t have money for Uber, love you, kisses and hickeys,” you say in one breathe before hanging up quickly and doing what you said you’d do. 

At first, you thought this road trip was an opportunity for you to grow and mature. However, after yesterday’s shenanigans, you’re almost convinced your sociopathic tendencies are now higher by 5%. 

You start shaking Taehyung until he wakes up and swats your arms away. Now upon closer inspection, while you’re aware that you look bad right now, he’s not looking too hot either. The lipstick marks you had left on his face make it look like you’ve either slobbered all over him or that he’s a vampire, you’re not sure. And you’ve bitten him so much somebody could think he got attacked by a racoon judging solely on those bruises.

You quickly explain the situation to him as you’re fixing up your bra and top. Considering the fact that you were bordering on nip-slip territory, that was your priority. Smoothing your dress is easy enough, but your pantyhose is mysteriously ripped in some incriminating places.

He reaches out, rips out the fake eyelash that was pathetically hanging off the corner of your eye and throws it away. You take care of the other one, wipe off your ruined make-up and then wipe off the lipstick on his face. 

Your head hurts so much that you don’t know what to say to break the silence. Though you also don’t doubt that he’s in the position, and so, for the first time it doesn’t feel awkward between the two of you. 

“Hey, [Y/n], are we like… dating now?”

“I think so? You can be my date to the wedding if you want.” 

A dopey smile takes over his face. You realize you’ve made someone this happy before with merely being yourself. It fills you with a kind of warmth you’ve never felt before.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

“Your cousin won’t stop calling you,” Taehyung emphasizes as you’re pointedly ignoring your ringtone while you get ready. Considering the atrocious state both of you came back in, the process taking longer than usual shouldn’t be a surprise. Especially since you had to take turns for the shower.

Also the part where the two of you got into a fight over who should go in first—your thesis being arguably stronger once you mentioned the mud ingrained in the left sole of your feet—only slowed you down further.

“I know right? Can’t this pregnant moron get a life.”

“No, I think she’s calling you because we’re late to the wedding,” he elaborates. “You should pick up.”

“But I hate her!”

“You can roast her at the wedding and I’ll hype you up if you do what I ask.”

“Oh my god, promise?” 

“Promise.”

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

“Look who finally showed up,” your cousin greets you with a tight smile. You can only return the sentiment as Taehyung dumbly trails behind you. 

Well, as much as you don’t like your cousin, the wedding is certainly nice. With a light atmosphere and a fancy ceremony, he can’t pretend he hates it—that much is certain. Though he can also tell that it’s a lot of money wasted on food that doesn’t look appetizing in the slightest the more he examines the buffet.

“I see you’re not wearing the dress I shipped to you. Is it too tight, perhaps?” She’s smiling fakely and sweetly as she waits for your answer to her provocation. Of course it’s too tight; what else could it be when she picked it two sizes smaller than what you usually wear. And she did it on purpose too.

Despite the rather mundane conversation happening, the tension is thick.

“I’m going to be quick. You look like a greasy manatee.” You give her your own uptight smile before strutting away, cueing Taehyung to follow after you.

“Pregnancy-shameeeeed,” he yells out as he offers her finger guns and speed-walks in your direction. 

Once he’s caught up with you, he speaks up again. “I know you could’ve been more brutal than that.”

“Oh please, I’m sophisticated, I’d never engage in some barbaric behavior.”

You both burst out laughing at your blatant lie. 

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

“Do you think they’re dating now?” Jin asks, looking at the two of you as you dance and joke around. Though he imagines that you could only be having a deranged conversation, one that isn’t as sweet and lovey-dovey as it might look from an outsider’s perspective, it’s still quite disgusting how smitten Taehyung looks with you. 

“I don’t care,” Jungkook answers. Him saying he doesn’t care is a metaphor for how much he doesn’t care about anything after his food poisoning.

Jimin rolls his eyes. “Oh definitely. I saw them making out near a garbage dumpster when we were driving back to the hotel.”

Seokjin chokes.

[charliebattinson]

We’re Best Friends? | Re·as·sur·ance [Part 7] | Shawn Mendes

A/N: Hey hey!!! Sorry for the super delayed update (not that I think anybody cares lmao) but yeah wasn’t feeling inspired the past weeks. Been going through some shit. This is a short chapter! Just wanted to post something cause I kinda left the other chapter with a cliffhanger haha. I’m planning on 3 to 4 more chapters. I can say this isn’t the best chapter I’ve written but anyways most likely I’ll fix it (mostly likely that ain’t gonna happen). This isn’t edited! Be warned! Love you guys. Thanks for the support! Constructive Criticism is much appreciated! (ALSO GO SEE A QUIET PLACE IT’S SO FUCKING GOOD) no one reads the authors note tbh 😂

WARNING: Sensual themes

Word Count: 1.2 K

♡ prel·ude ♡ be·fore ♡ thoughts ♡ ideas ♡ im·pulse ♡ del·i·cate ♡ eu·pho·ri·a ♡ sur·prise ♡ 

{☆ MASTERLIST ☆}

I’m tired.

I’m trying to catch my breath against your shoulder while you’re doing the same thing.

“Shawn” You call out to me. You’ve said my name so many times this night in so many different ways.

“Yeah?” My voice is weak and sleepy. We’re spent.

“Can we cook something? I’m hungry” you tell me in a whisper while your hands caress my back. In this moment, I think to myself why does this feel so natural like we were always meant to go this path. You were always meant to tell me you’re hungry while we’re naked in your bed.

 Fate is a weird thing but I’m thankful for it. 

“Yeah let’s go cook” I chuckle as I kiss your neck.

As we get up to head to the kitchen, I can’t help but stare at how you put your underwear on, how sexy your legs are. I love the way you move, the way you look after we’ve fucked. The way you’re looking at me right now as you put your bra on. 

I know you’re teasing me.

We’re in your kitchen finding something to cook. We’ve done this countless of times every time we crash at each other’s place. Everything feels the same but it isn’t. We’re doing the same things as friends but at the same it’s different. 

It’s more. 

You’re cooking in nothing but your underwear and you act like your usual around me except with less clothes on. It makes me think about wanting see you in my kitchen, cooking. It gives me a reason to be excited when I go home. 

“What ya making?” I ask you and wrapping my arms around you resting my chin on your shoulder as you cook.

“Grilled cheese!!” you exclaim. I love how excited and passionate you get with food. 

“Sweet.” I tell you as I kiss your shoulder. You taste pretty sweet too.

As you finish making our sandwiches, we head to the dining table to take a seat.  You leave me surprised when you decide that your seat is my lap. Seeing this side of you excites me. 

Really excites me. 

We eat in comfortable silence as I hold you with one arm. “I got a question” You tell me your mouth full and crumbs all over your face. 

“Shoot!” I reply as I take a bite of my sandwich. You drop your food to wrap your arms around me and to play with my hair. You’re nervous because you do that really cute thing where you bite your lip that makes you look innocent when we both know you’re anything but innocent. 

“What made you knock on my door?” you shyly ask. 

"I don’t know honestly. It was more a now or never situation back there. I guess I wanted now” 

I don’t know the exact reason why I did what I did, if it was just on impulse or if it’s something that I’ve been wanting to do for a while but was always placed at the back of my mind but at this point I really don’t care enough to find out the reason behind it. 

All I know is that I’m glad I did do it.

You smile at me and I can really say that it’s my favorite view of all time. “I’m really glad you knocked on my door” There’s a blush that’s spreading across your face. I really love it when you blush. It lets me know I have an effect on you as much as you have with me.

“I’m really glad you opened your door”

☆☆☆

“So six months, huh?”

“Yeah. 26 weeks”

“Shit. You just made it worse”

“Shit. I know” Shawn sighs as we lay on his bed in the early hours of the morning. We just crashed back in his place, talking in bed and celebrated a little more with drinking after finding out he got the internship. Internship that’s miles and miles away.

“What the hell am I going to do without you for six months?” I ask him as I bury my face on the pillow. Me and Shawn have spent time apart with big distances separating us but it’s never been this long.

“At least you’re staying home! I’m going to be in a foreign country all by myself!” He says.

“Oh fuck you’re right. You’ve got it worse” I tell him facing his side.

“Well, at least there’s a lot of beautiful women in Amsterdam! I could have a shot with some of them” he smirks; joking around.

“Fucker” I tell him; gently shove his face with my hand.

“Hey! Don’t shove me” he tells me as he gets a hold of my hand kissing the back of it and intertwines it with his .

“When’s your flight?” I ask him.

“Next Tuesday at four am” he replies.

“Damn! That’s the morning after the wedding. Are you still gonna go?” I ask him. He doesn’t have to go but I want him to so badly. Shawn’s my partner in crime when it comes to these things. He’s my partner in crime in everything.

“Yeah. Don’t worry. I’ll just go straight to the airport after the reception. Plus I gotta try that cake!” he says. He looks at me with such a bittersweet smile. We’re scared. Six months is a long time without each other not to mention we just decided to try being a thing and the universe just had to throw us the long distance relationship concept our way.

“I’ll bring you to the airport! I got you man!” I tell him. I wanna be the last person to see him leave and be the last person he sees before he leaves.

“I’m not gonna argue with you on that. Free ride for me” He chuckles bringing me closer to him until our foreheads are touching.

“Shawn, do you think We’ll be okay?” I ask him; honestly worried for the future. Of us.

“What do you mean?” He asks looking confused

“I mean six months is really fucking long, that’s half a year. Half a year without you!” I sigh, the realization of him not being here with me for so long is slowly sinking. I’ve only got limited time with him. We’re a time bomb as of this point. “What if we aren’t the same when you come back?” I whisper.

“Hey! It’s us. We’re okay. We’ll always be okay.” he reassures me though I hear a hint of doubt in his voice. “I made a promise I wouldn’t leave you.” kissing my cheek and nuzzling his face in my neck. “You got me. I’m yours.”

“Okay.” I smile at him and kiss his nose.

“Okay this is getting depressing. I’m going to buy us breakfast” Shawn says, getting up and sitting at the end of the bed.

“I want waffles and bacon please” I request of him as I come near him, wrapping my arms around his middle and kissing his clothed shoulder as he puts on his shoes.

“One order of waffles coming up!” he chuckles.

“You ready for the wedding and my grandma?” Tilting my head to the side to look at his face and raising my eyebrows at him. Shawn gives me a bright smile and I know that we’re going to be okay. We’ll be fine.

“Bring it on Blake”

[voidfishersong]

Fallane and Eliza Fate, please

Alright, these two are from different ‘verses just fyi. so any supernatural elements are very, very different, as well as social situations.

WARNING: Fallane’s contains reference to some things that might be triggering. nothing in-detail, but please be advised.

Full Name: Fallane

Gender and Sexuality:

 male-ish but with a rising intonation and a hand-wiggly gesture. sexuality is definitely just a hand-wiggly gesture, we think he has a slight preference for men but tbh no one cares

Pronouns:

 he/him. if you used other ones he probably wouldn’t object but if you asked he’d say ‘he/him’

Ethnicity/Species:

 Egyptian. and he’s like,,, vaguely a demon but not actually. he’s

supposed

 to be one of the generals/servants/sextoys/whatever of AN ASSHOLE who reincarnates every 30 years or so, possesses a young girl, and makes everyone’s life hell but he said ‘nope that’ and (mostly) left. so he’s not actually a demon but that’s what his kind got characterized as by various mortals and usually he doesn’t correct people

Birthplace and Birthdate:

 like literal ancient egypt in like 2,700 bc or smth

Guilty Pleasures:

 I don’t think he’s guilty about any of his pleasures.

that came out way more sexual than I intended

I just meant that he likes things and he’s not ashamed of it

Phobias:

 ahhhh this ‘verse is so dark help. I’d say sexual assault is pretty high on the list. I think he’s also a bit claustrophobic. more than a bit. he’s very claustrophobic he just doesn’t get into many situations like that

What They Would Be Famous For:

 he could be a model? like actually. he wouldn’t but he

could

. he’s got a wicked fashion sense and is really good at makeup. ooh he could model makeup too

What They Would Get Arrested For:

 can u get arrested for smoking indoors? he would. or shoplifting. he likes petty crime because either a) ‘this shouldn’t be privately owned and private ownership is just a social construct’ or b) ‘haha what are u gonna do, catch me?’

OC You Ship Them With:

 Sam!! Sam Reeve x Fallane is best ship. you could also ship him with Kai but Sam is most perfectest. I made a ship name for them but it’s lame and I’m not sharing unless u dm me. I also ship Fallane with a healthy lifestyle but that’s never gonna be canon so

OC Most Likely To Murder Them:

 does Nara canonically murdering him count? there r a lot of ppl who want to murder Fallane so I feel like this is an unfair question. Kai genuinely hates him for a large part of the story. ahaha Kai canonically kills him too jesus christ Fallane you’ve been killed three times you gotta chill. but I think Nara would be more likely to succeed than Kai so. the answer I pick is Nara. in a sarcastic way tho it’d be Mista, who is so done with his shit and she’s the type to say ‘im going to murder you’ when he like, puts his feet on the table or something

Favorite Movie/Book Genre:

 mystery? anything he can sarcastically criticize the plot of, tbh. maybe horror

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche:

 if he’s a horror fan, then it’d be where any time someone says ‘dont do this’ the person does it and dies. I think he definitely dislikes the ‘aliens are always technological experts’ cliche like what if the explorers are anthropologists with no clue how their ship works?? did you ever think of that?? no you didn’t

Talents and/or Powers:

 his main talent is sarcasm. he’s very gifted with picking up languages and accents, and he has a high appreciation for all forms of art. in the supernatural realm, he’s got a lot. he’s a natural low-level empath, and then he got powers on top of that, which made him nigh immortal, gave him rly cool wings, and magical charisma (which is like subconscious suggestion, except,, magic) which he mostly uses to convince people he’s paid for shit he

hasn’t

 paid for. in the name of disabling capitalism, of course, and not because he just wants the pillow. then he’s also got some extradimensional abilities which are often interpreted as a kind of telekinesis but isn’t technically. and his empathic abilities get turned up to eleven until he can project so hard he can accidentally (or purposefully) kill someone

Why Someone Might Love Them:

 if you’re about grey moralities, ambiguity, and anti-heroes, you’ll probably love Fallane. he’s also very protective, and a single dad of energetic twins so there’s no shortage of relatability, either. but I think a lot of his charm comes from his interactions with other characters, because he feels very strongly and brings many things other characters are afraid to say. there’s a weighty sense of honesty with him, and a real desire to do right by the world and help the downtrodden. he also struggles with trauma and mental illness and he’s really, really messed up but he

tries

 and sometimes he fails and I think people will find a surprising amount to identify with. Fallane is my ultimate walking contradiction, but I think it works.

Why Someone Might Hate Them:

 I feel like he’s a character people would be just indifferent toward UNTIL people started being apologists and saying he does nothing wrong and then he’d be one of those characters that the fandom just splits on, as polarizing ends get increasingly more argumentative. he can be manipulative too and I think people might take issue with things like that, but I feel like most people who would actively hate him would be misinterpreting him. he’s not supposed to be a paragon of good morality

How They Change:

 in the first few waves of this ‘verse Fallane was a definite villain, if a hero-aiding anti-villain. then I decided villains were overrated and now there’s no villains, just a complicated mess of varying degrees of grey morality. in canon, this is reflected. he goes from a certain ‘I can’t do anything substantial about it so I just won’t bother’ to someone who

acts

 on his desire to combat discrimination and abuse. he also gets his family back, and gains a little sister, and he’s constantly learning how to love (in every way) and how to

live

.

Why You Love Them:

honestly?

because

 he’s learning how to live. much of Fallane’s backstory (and his role-switch from anti-villain to anti-hero) came from when I got over being suicidal, so he’s sometimes a comfort character. ngl, I also love his aesthetic. I’m also a bit biased because he has ocd and I have ocd and that’s relatable too and it makes his aesthetic

extra

 relatable. he’s also incredibly emotional and that’s always an adventure to write. I really love Fallane guys.

also this ao3 tag is like the greatest descriptor of him:

Full Name: Eliza Fate

Gender and Sexuality:

female, bisexual

Pronouns

: She/Her

Ethnicity/Species:

English. and she’s a vampire so uh yea

Birthplace and Birthdate:

England and uh….. like…. idk….. a long time ago

Guilty Pleasures:

both slow and fast jazz music. also she’s surprisingly good with children - I like to think that sometimes, she volunteers at daycare-like-places in the shadier parts of town where there’s too many kids and not enough workers and she just helps out these toddlers and teaches them to jazz dance, the way you teach little kids anything, which is hold them and pretend they’re following anything you’re saying

Phobias:

I don’t think she’s phobic of anything, but she’s afraid of losing her family. they’re very important to her and I think her deepest fear is that someday she’s going to wake up completely alone. she’s not afraid of any one person leaving (obviously she’d be upset), it’s just the idea that

everyone

 could disappear

What They Would Be Famous For:

she’s kind of famous within the criminal underworld because she’s like a mob boss, and she’s mostly famous for having a very large family, and for being independent. she went almost two centuries without a right-hand man/woman/etc which, especially as a woman, was quite unique

What They Would Get Arrested For:

I mean she already murders ppl and runs a mafia so that

could

 get her arrested, but if she ever got caught it’d probably be something like she murdered a child abuser or something really,

really

 violently and not well-planned

OC You Ship Them With:

 Itsuki, who’s her canon boyfriend, and Andrea, who’s her canon girlfriend. she’s poly and her relationships are usually open relationships, including with those two. I also ship her hardcore with Katsumi, although that’s a very different dynamic (1960s lots of drugs and alcohol and free sex and it’s about pushing each other further and further and not always healthy but they know that and it’s okay). I feel like Eliza would be really great for romance fanfic because you can go with many time periods!

OC Most Likely To Murder Them:

 Rin. boi Rin has wanted to murder her since he met her probably, he just hated her on principle and then Eliza went and decided she liked Itsuki so Rin hated that and

then

 she started dating Katsumi too and so she’s in love with both his roommates and that pisses Rin off. it’s funny.

actually it’s often really depressing because they end up blaming each other for Katsumi’s death and just about everything else and I think Rin might actually wish she had never existed but

usually it’s a sarcastic ‘I would murder you right now Eliza I swear’

Favorite Movie/Book Genre:

 slice of life. I think she likes the variety and the normalcy of it all, and she usually thinks the couples are cute. her least favorite genre is probably mystery

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche:

 love triangles. they’re way, way overdone. also they invalidate the possibility of poly or open relationships. on a less serious note, she hates any mystery story that ends with like ‘the detective was the culprit all along!’ there’s not really a reason why she hates that but. she does. I made her I make the rules

Talents and/or Powers:

 powers: well, she’s a vampire. talents: charisma. she is very good at getting people to understand her viewpoint, when she puts her foot down on something, which is rare. she’s also good at dancing. and very good at sex too apparently. she’s good with children too! but only really smol ones, once they get above like 5 they’re usually assholes

Why Someone Might Love Them:

 she’s strong, and independent, and I think she’s over all a good person. she doesn’t take shit from people, but she doesn’t assume that people

are

 giving her shit. she’s quite easy-going, all-in-all. she’s also really loving to her family, and in many ways she fulfills feminine roles, but the way she does them and the way she thinks about them are empowering, I think

Why Someone Might Hate Them:

 when Eliza was first conceptualized in mid high school, I was terrified that people would see her as bad representation because she’s not morally straight

and

 I worried that making her bi and poly would make people angry. but I think I’ve mostly gotten past that? idk. but I definitely think people might dislike her for her constant relationships - she doesn’t do well if she doesn’t have at least one datemate, and people might see that as too dependent or needy. she sometimes comes across as needy, so there’s that. I think there’d definitely be Eliza Fate stans and Eliza Fate haters

How They Change:

 you get to see her progression from the civil rights era to present day, and she does change a bit, but overall she’s one of the most stable characters in this ‘verse. she really learns to accept rejection, and since she adopts a literal child (Nayeli) into her family and doesn’t raise Nayeli with any expectations of her joining the Family, I think she learns to work with people during their formative adolescent years, too

Why You Love Them:

Eliza is a character from the second wave of this ‘verse, so she’s quite old to have changed so little. I also love how she can differ depending on the time, so her roles change depending on the context. her personality doesn’t really change between any of them, but she’s a very complex character (a side effect of having been in my head for at least 5 years) and you can actually

see

 all her facets. also she’s a mob boss mom??? like that’s cool idk she’s super suave and i’m gay

[vacanpaathy]

PREFACE : Here’s the first of 2 info posts about Brooke this is the How it works / about / changes one. Fair warning I just batted this out over 2 nights and I haven’t proof read so like..... rip yall. the next will be a more classic bio sheet

Brooke started as just a thought experiment about twin slayers while marathoning the show, I know that there’s a twin sitch in the comics since I read it with my own two eyes but 1) the comics are… Woof at times and 2) that was fraternal male-female twins, while Buffy and Brooke are identical twin sisters which in this context can mean a world of difference. Also I just went for “what’s the most narratively interesting / what’s the most fun”. HOW IT WORKS : In her main verse Brooke was called as the Slayer at the same time as Buffy. The logic here being that generally, twins and especially identical ones, are mystically seen as linked and possibly extremely similar but ultimately separate beings. In the case of Slayerness ( and likely some other mystical things tbh ) their status as identical twins confuses it and they’re considered 1 whole slayer and were both called. They both have the standard power set, their slayerness didn’t get split between the two like in the comics.  However they are still intimately linked, for example when Buffy lost all her slayer powers on halloween thanks to her costume, Brooke who wasn’t allowed to go trick or treating was still a Slayer but was only at 50% without Buffy. Even more critically when one dies the other dies as well, instantly regardless of their own status. If Buffy’s at lunch and Brooke gets shot and dies, Buffy would drop dead at the table.  I also work in my base info for her main verse to not overshadow, take away from or anything like that Buffy’s accomplishments as possible without just being like “and Brooke was there”. For example, While I tweak to have Brooke to be the one to drown in the puddle post getting drained by the Master ( Buffy is still there they just both… fuck up and Buffy just got lucky on how she fell after ) Buffy is still the one who jumps in Season 5. Brooke is there for the fight but the most she contributes to that decision is like… confirmation she’s Fine with dying since once Buffy jumps Brooke’s fate is also sealed. The one place things get truly off the rails on that front is season 4.  This info is a basic framework for her main verse, focusing mainly on the things I find kind of a big deal in both understanding her and the changes she makes to events. Some of it is malleable, some not so much generally that’ll depend on plotting and such.  Cutting here bc as you can see...... this is a Long Post.

Trigger warning : addiction and self-harm L.A. 

( I use the movie as a template for how L.A. went down along with a few short stories from the comics. )

Buffy is called at 15 and in finding and beginning to train her it’s discovered that Brooke is also the Slayer which is some wild shit. Neither take it well but Buffy is the one to become institutionalized which prompts Brooke to shut down and become more isolated. To cope with the stressful school-slayer balance she leans on substances first just coffee, then caffeine tablets and later cocaine. Brooke is there for the death of Merrick their first watcher and the attack on the gym. While Buffy is expelled almost immediately afterward Brooke is suspended but after Buffy runs away with Pike for a while to Vegas ala the comics Brooke is expelled for lack of attendance as she’s now crumbling under the weight of everything that’s happened, having no one to talk to and trying to keep up with slaying. While she’s spiraling she also is dumped by her first girlfriend, Samantha from the soccer team. Her addiction is in full swing and she meets Syd, a 19yo Australian warlock at a “party” and they quickly become “friends” and her main supply of drugs. The two of them become a duo for a time and end up with a complex and questionable relationship. She has a few very bad episodes, one full blown drug induced psychosis and would likely be dead if not for slayer constitution. Eventually everything comes to head Buffy is home, the divorce is finalized and her drug addiction comes to light. Part of coming to Sunnydale specifically is because of her rehab. SEASON 1. Brooke is out of the way for most of season 1, either living at her rehab center for the start or basically under house arrest under their mother’s watchful eye later on. She basically can only manage to help with slaying on occasion and is largely regulated to the emergency backup and a researcher. Generally the only way she can be out of the house when not at rehab or therapy is if there’s an adult with her which means she can’t really help much unless they can make up a reason she’s somewhere with Giles. It works somewhat to their advantage as between her not being around much and them being identical, it means no one in the demon community is really aware there’s currently two slayers. She, however, has her own intrigue going on as she begins to figure out that some of her fellow patients are demons ( I mean ofc it’s Sunnydale ) and upon more investigation they learn that half  the staff is also demons and it’s not an evil scheme or something to prey on the patients it’s just a rehab clinic that’s also for demons. She meets her best friend Nicholas, a fear demon, here in a group therapy session. When she finally does start at Sunnydale high she struggles to get along with Willow and Xander who are by then firmly Buffy’s friends. Brooke gravitates to Cordelia but ultimately ends up just spending most of her time with Giles after failing to make her own connections and realizing she can’t possibly try out for the soccer team. ever. Which crushes her more than she likes to admit. Like Xander, from the start she she doesn’t like Angel because of his interest in Buffy and her own interactions with older men while in L.A. but unlike Xander she held her tongue and didn’t try to stop the relationship or get in the way, wanting her sister to be happy and to live her life. She also couldn’t really get complain since it’d be hypocritical of her to chide her for being with an older guy or being cozy with a demon given her own relationship with Syd and her all her friends from rehab being… demons... By the end when they learn their death is prophesied she reacts poorly as well to the revelation, but like Buffy pulls herself together and goes to meet the Master. Both girls end up failing and are drained, by chance, Brooke is the one who lands face down in the puddle and dies taking Buffy down with her.When Brooke is revived Buffy comes back as well and they kill the Master.

SEASON 2. Over the summer with their father Brooke struggles being back in L.A. as it reminds her too much of her addiction and spends much of that time on the phone with Nic talking through everything that’s happened. While there she also runs into Syd again because, of course, who has also sobered up ( motorcycles cost money and if you ride them while high you can total it ) and gets his contact info whether she wants it or not. Cursed Knowledge. Spike’s attack on the school is the first time it’s made explicitly clear there’s two of them since he’s the first one to well, live after seeing both of them and the cat’s officially out of the bag. On Halloween Brooke wasn’t allowed to go out and was at home, costumeless, when things go south. When the gang comes to the house she leaps into action and ends up chasing after Buffy when she flees the house. She comes to the defense of her sister against Spike but quickly realizes without Buffy’s half of the slayer mojo she’s only half as strong as usual but persists against him until the spell is broken. Brooke does meet Kendra and thinks she’s pretty dang neat. When Angel loses his soul Brooke actively steps up on the slaying end, trying to protect her sister from the worst of it though how successful that it is up in the air as despite her efforts she fails to stop his actions or keep Buffy from seeing or learning about what he’s done. Brooke’s involvement comes to a head when she’s kidnapped by Angelus when out on patrol and is held captive and tortured mainly by being introduced to cocaine not too long after Giles is also kidnapped but she’s so out of it she doesn’t realize. Finally her attempts at escape actually work and she bolts out of the mansion in a haze and is only found later in a vacant lot by Nic. She ends up in the hospital and only later finds out Buffy has run away again. SEASON 3. By now Brooke and Nic have made their pact, which means that the two are tied mystically. She can summon him and he can find her. This is not something she makes anyone aware of. When Buffy comes back Brooke is extremely upset feeling that she’s been abandoned twice when she needed Buffy’s support but ultimately also empathizes with Buffy and her heartbreak. When Faith comes to town Brooke finally feels like she’s met someone she can really get along with which causes even more tension. When homecoming comes along Brooke supports Buffy aggressively and ends up being involved in the Slayerfest debacle thanks to it.  When it’s discovered Angel is back Brooke is livid that Buffy never told her but mainly focuses her aggression at Angel himself, finally making it clear she never liked or trusted him and will do what she can to keep them apart.  Skyrocketing the mounting issues between the sisters and pushing her to spend less time with the scoobies and more time with her own demon friends and Faith. As things go on Brooke feels increasingly pulled between her sister and her friendship with Faith. When Faith accidentally kills deputy mayor Brooke helps her cover it up / sides with her, reliving her own fears from her time in L.A. and having a more generally grey view of things. She also attempts to talk to Faith and get her to open up to her but ultimately fails. Brooke talks it over with her mother and decides to not go to college mainly because she doesn’t have any idea what she’d study and only now is finally letting herself mourn the death of her dream of playing pro soccer. She decides to get a job instead and begins the hunt for one with a schedule that works with slayage. Buffy’s attempt to kill Faith in retaliation for poisoning Angel sets Brooke off completely and she almost completely abandons them and leaves for L.A. until her mother and later Giles and the gang talk her out of it and she stays to help stop the mayor (and graduate). As part of the plan for the battle against the Mayor, Brooke gets in contact again with Syd and asks for his help. He arrives and decides business ( read : blood and guts kinda hardcore magic ) will be a lot better on a hellmouth and decides to stay. No one is happy about it. SEASON 4. Sadly the only job she could get was with Nic and some of their friends in their band as a singer since that’s… literally the only thing she wasn’t trash at to her chagrin. She spent much of her time in the summer at the “Hell House” the communal sober living house Nic, his wife Maria, an insanity demon, and all her friends live in to avoid Buffy and to keep herself from falling into the bad habits she really would like to fall into, still deeply upset over Faith. Over the next few months as Buffy struggles to get used to college Brooke begins to reach out again and be there for her, trying to get back to the better relationship they used to have. Occasionally she goes to L.A. with her band for gigs and naturally runs into the L.A. squad because of course that’s how the world works. With their break up pretty permanent and some therapy under her belt her attitude towards Angel is much better she’s still unpleasant but at least funnier about it. Brooke kinda has the beginnings of an alcohol problem but is aware enough to try and fend that off with some help and moral support. When Spike comes to the Scoobies for help Brooke IMMEDIATELY sides with Spike and agrees to help, scared of what happened to him and what it would mean for her friends and potentially her and Buffy. She convinces them to let him live at Hell House instead of trapped with Giles or Xander. As more comes about the Initiative she stops talking the Scoobies when Riley is around or about anything that would be mission critical and they might accidentally tell him or act on. She, her demon friends and Syd decide to attack the Initiative HQ. They kidnap Walsh then Syd uses magic to make Brooke look like her and once she’s in, they use her pact with Nic to guide him as he and Syd use Nic’s ability to travel through shadows to get the whole horde of demons they’d put together for the assault in and then shit just goes wild. In the fray Adam wakes up and escapes before the horde can get to the top secret section. Buffy and the Scoobies find out and Brooke and Buffy are back to being on the outs but work together to defeat Adam. SEASON 5. Brooke takes finding out Dawn is the Key well and basically just continues on as normal. When Joyce becomes sick Brooke spends extensive time with her trying to figure out what she wants her / them to do in the worst case scenario as Brooke knows if she doesn’t have that list she’s going to fall off the deep end if it does happen. Brooke once again tries to take on too much and take some of the stress that’s clearly effecting Buffy off her by trying to do the lion’s share of caring for dawn, their mom and slaying which puts her back in danger of dependency until they finally have a moment and figure out a balance that works for them both and plays to their strengths. Buffy is the one who finds their mother Brooke learns via Phone call. Giles calls Hell House, gets Nic who finds her and tells her. She goes with Buffy to get Dawn. Buffy is the one who jumps to save dawn / the world and Brooke falls dead when she dies.  [ Kinda was running out of willpower here so this section might get added on to ] 

SEASON 6. Brooke is not in Heaven as Brooke actually did crimes and shit and didn’t get a big heroic death to help balance that out. She is in purgatory, specifically a purgatory where the Army of the Repentant Dead fight an endless battle to hold back the endless hordes of demons trying to break through into the mortal realm. Civilizations rising to glory and falling into obscurity around them in what feels like the space of a single breath kinda thing. During the ritual to bring them back Willow works off the fact that they’re linked to try and bring them both back in one go with the spell we see in the show. Buffy, the primary target comes back fine but Brooke as the metaphysical baggage…. Not so much…. She comes back very living dead kinda exactly how you’d think something like this would go if it went bad and Syd has to come in and fix the damage done by Willow as best he can. He can put flesh on her, her heart beating and her mind more here and less "a thousand eons have passed”-y but he cannot do anything about how she reads as Dead magically. Her soul is still technically tied to the Army of the Repentant Dead and her slayer duties and such are basically counting towards that on a cosmic level. Brooke basically spends all her time trying to keep the family together as the one with access to work via the band she hates being in and her connections into the demon community. She works to the bone taking on whatever work she can squeeze in and tries to be there for Buffy and work with her through her depression and well as Willow and her addiction. She falls back on her time as a unkillable dead soldier to power through at the cost of her personality / mental state and at times her health. She asks Xander to teach her more about carpentry / construction so she can have something healthy and productive to do. Too focused on everything else she didn’t consider the nerd squad to be a real threat and shit Goes Down like it did. [ or you know…. We can say that they totally did take care of them or whatever and everything’s Chill bc….. Tara Deserves Better sooooooooooo ya know... ] SEASON 7. Brooke as successfully managed to not become an alcoholic but that’s because she’s fallen into self-harm. Not cutting or similar but hitting herself or walls / objects or just fighting. She and other finally realize this and she actively works to stop the behavior and does a LOT of home improvement until finally the shit gets real and she can focus on the war against the First. During the first fight with Caleb they realize the full repercussions of the Ritual from s6 and learn that she kinda can’t die. Caleb should have killed her and by extension Buffy but she doesn’t die. Brooke, while yes sure everything work like it should for a living person was still not brought back correctly and this is the repercussions of that. If Buffy dies though they both die and Brooke is still able to feel pain and shit so like…. being unable to die is kind of terrible. Syd is able to patch her up but needs fresh human meat to do it so that’s a new grim exciting facet of her life. Brooke once again leans on her Dead Army experience to train the potentials and help with battle plans but generally defers to Buffy as Brooke feels Buffy’s a better leader and Brooke herself a better second in command. Shit pm does down as it does from here. She’s glad to see Faith again but naturally she bounces when they kick Buffy out though not before speaking out against it.   COMICS. OH GOD I DON’T WANNA THINK ABOUT THIS RN. SHE’S DOING SOMETHING.

[fireinclined-archive]

SERIOUS CASSANDRA HEADCANONS

cassandra’s enemies

so the first should be obvious: any capellan that finds out cassandra was one of the people who unleashed atlas. not everyone’s gonna be as understanding as vivi, and there are a lot of capellans that would do anything to have someone to pin all the blame on.

second of all: leftover members of a cult that kills augurs. winfrid was killed by them, and cassandra was nearly killed by a member of that cult too. it took all of her allies (keandra, paola, jayjay, owl, and brooklyn) to protect her while she was. you know recovering.

third: okay so while cassandra was on pyrrah there was an attempted coup?? and of course because cassandra was bffs with the queen and keandra was the queen’s little brother they helped stop it. so idk if people are still mad about that they might come after her.

and finally- here’s the big one, because this. is actually going to happen when i rewrite season one: we’re gonna call the scientist who created jayjay and owl dr. h. cassandra left dr. h’s fate in the hands of jayjay and owl, and they decided to have her be put on trial and thrown in jail, for reasons that i will discuss when i talk about jayjay and owl. one of dr. h’s allies comes after cassandra for revenge or as part of some scheme she has with dr. h.  i won’t say what exactly happens, but. it’s not good for cassandra.

but yeah, those are the people/enemies that might come after cassandra

earth’s gravity

okay so, because earth’s gravity is so much weaker than capella’s, cassandra will wake up some nights, usually disoriented by her visions, and feel almost completely weightless- like she’s just going to fly off the surface of the earth. this is a terrifying experience for cassandra- despite the fact that she loves floating in her ship’s gravity chamber, the feeling like she’s going to fly right off the earth is so scary because she has no control over it.

if she’s sleeping alone, she’ll grab the edges of the mattress, as if trying to keep herself from flying away. if she’s with splinter, she’ll usually accidentally wake him up when she wakes up, and ask him to either hold her or lay on her. the feeling of his arms holding her tightly or the weight of his body on top of her makes her feel grounded. he’ll usually whisper affirmations to her (”you’re safe, you’re alright, this is real, i’m here, nothing’s going to harm you”) until she relaxes enough to fall back asleep.

does cassandra get jealous?

it depends, really. cassandra tends to get sad jealous rather than angry jealous (’oh, of course they don’t love me, who could love someone like me, they’ll be happier with them, etc etc). and it does take quite a bit to get her to despair like that: if her s/o is just hanging out with someone else or someone’s flirting with them, and she feels secure in their relationship, she’s fine with it. they can take care of themselves (usually).

however she DOES get angry jealous in amnesiac!splinter verse, because they AREN’T together, and she’s terrified that he’ll fall in love when he has amnesia, and when he gets his memories back, he’ll love that other person more than her.

cassandra & sarcasm 

all versions of cassandra can get pretty hurt by sarcasm. there’s a fine line between what cassandra interprets as joking around, and what she is actually hurt by. i’d say cassalyn and snowball are the most sensitive about it, because cassandra’s pretty used to because of paola’s very sarcastic nature.

how does cassandra grieve?

she’ll isolate herself, mostly, and usually go from surrounding herself with things that remind her of/belonged to the person she’s grieving to getting as far away from anything that reminds her of them as possible.

(in verses where splinter dies, this would mean that cassandra goes from staying locked in splinter’s room for days, only to alternate to staying in her apartment for days on end)

cassandra will rarely speak and rarely eat, and honestly the only who can get her to take care of herself is paola.

i keep saying that in these situation it’s only paola who can get cassandra to take care of herself, and that’s mostly because paola knows how cassandra grieves and how to deal with it. cassandra was practically lifeless after dulcie’s death, and while paola helped take care of cassandra during this time, it was only the revelation of what the yellow flowers in cassandra’s dreams were and actually going to earth that put some life back into cassandra’s eyes.

i would argue that dulcie’s death was the lowest point of cassandra’s life, and that remains constant- even in most aus. cassandra felt closed off from the rest of the galaxy, despite keandra and brooklyn staying around her. but it…it was this distant thing. not the comfort cassandra needed, you know?

in verses where splinter dies, cassandra does have her family and she does get out of bed and takes care of herself better than she does after dulcie. she has her family to live for.

in the wheels au, cassandra stays by donnie’s side as long as she can. that whole avoidance bit goes away if the person is still alive. paola forces her to go to work, but cassandra is still grateful that donnie’s alive.

cassandra adjusting to life on earth

the thing about adjusting to earth’s climate and gravity is that everything that’s different from capella (hotter temp, lower gravity) was a million times worse on pyrrah.

it was so much hotter on pyrrah than it is on earth, and definitely than it was on capella. so cassandra eventually got used to that. and pyrrah’s gravity was like..8 or so meters per second squared, so cassandra had lived in a place with even lower gravity than earth’s. it’s still not easy, and i’ve mentioned that cassandra sometimes wakes up feeling weightless and panics, but…it’s not as bad.

as for culture…cassandra lived in france for the first…two years? i think it was? maybe three- on earth, and cassandra had done a lot of research on earth in general, but especially on france, in the two months it took her to get there. i haven’t really thought much about her time in france- that’s something i need to work on tbh

cassandra doesn’t understand american politics at all. on capella there was lot more involvement in politics and everyone was critical of it- especially because of the ‘capellan cycle’, where a government would exist on capella for a few centuries before being overthrown and replaced for a few more centuries. so especially for cassandra, who was the daughter of a political thinker and revolutionary, and a capellan who grew up at the end of the current government’s cycle, she grew up very critical of authority and very aware of what was going on in the government. so the way americans know they’re unhappy with their government, but always know exactly what’s wrong with it or how to fix it, and are at times unwilling to put in the effort to change it…doesn’t make sense to cassandra

another thing cassandra doesn’t understand is like…consumerism. like this culture of constantly buying more, or espECIALLY things being made to be broken and replaced. for most of capella’s history resources were scarce, so shit had to be built to last for a LONG time. and this mindset never went away, even when capella began trading with other planets. so cassandra’s just ???? at how everything on earth is made to be replaced.

cassandra & drowning

cassandra is terrified of drowning. like…shoot her, stab her, let her pass away from sickness or old age…just don’t drown her or suffocate her. 

i’d imagine her fear comes from actually having visions in her sleep of her drowning, and then there was the time she actually almost drowned. it happened when brooklyn was with her, and her leg got caught in sinking wreckage of a ship they were on. it was easily one of the top five most terrifying experiences of cassandra’s life

cassandra & lying

cassandra’s a decent liar when she wants to be but she sometimes acts nervous when telling the truth, which means she ends up looking like a liar when she’s actually being truthful

the day capella fell

cassandra always gets very solemn and quiet on the day capella fell, lost in her own thoughts and guilt, and she usually reaches out to keandra (and to a lesser extent, brooklyn) on that day because they’re all in bad places on that day.

also consider- everyone knowing this is a bad day for cassandra and doing their best to make her smile in their own ways. everyone gives her 100x more hugs and makes sure she knows that they love her