#utahlive episodes

[utahlive]

Wilbur Soot has left the store early today

[elevens-shitty-library-ao3]

Don't usually post art here, but I got bored at work and did some fanart for @utahlive! I made up the idea of this fan-episode of sorts during a criminal justice test. Hope you enjoy, bestie!!

[utahlive]

Have you ever had any memorable coworkers

He was more of an employee than a co-worker, but same difference I guess.

[transcript below]

Anonymous Caller:

Have you ever had any memorable coworkers

Wilbur Soot:

I did at my last job

[utahlive]

Can you do a backflip?

We have no way to verify this

[transcript below]

Caller theantthatstoleyourpicnic:

Can you do a backflip?

Wilbur Soot:

Yeah, sure.

[utahlive]

hey man do you like dancing? when’s the last time you got to?

It's been a while

[utahlive]

where have you gone this whole time??

Let us never speak of this absence again!

[transcript below]

Wilbur Soot

I decided to go for a nice, relaxing camping trip. But on my way back, I got hopelessly lost. I survived for days off berries and leaves. The Utah summer was harsh. Eventually I found my car and got the hell out of there.

[utahlive]

when's the last time you've washed that uniform

Thank you for the question, caller!

[transcript below]

Caller Clarae-guns:

when's the last time you've washed that uniform

Wilbur Soot:

...What day is it?

[utahlive]

WELCOME BACK, VIEWERS!

After weeks of knocking, Mr Soot has finally allowed us to resume interviews!

Callers, feel free to send in more questions! Perhaps some more interaction will cheer our local resident up!!

[utahlive]

you alright my dude?

Thank you for the concern, caller!

[transcript below]

Caller Lacystar:

you alright my dude?

Wilbur Soot:

Just peachy!

[utahlive]

Is it normal to get customers that aren't exactly welcomed?

Thank you for your question!

[transcript below]

Caller Marzbarzstarz:

Is it normal to get customers that aren't exactly welcomed?

Wilbur Soot:

As far as im concerned, every customer is unwelcome!

[utahlive]

if you could live forever, would you?

Thank you for the question!

[transcript below]

Anonymous Caller:

if you could live forever, would you?

Wilbur Soot:

No. Living forever sounds pretty miserable.

[utahlive]

sir, please clean the crumbs off the bed. i cannot imagine that’s comfortable.

Thank you for the question, caller!

[transcript below]

Caller Spacexxcoward:

Sir, please clean the crumbs off the bed. i cannot imagine that’s comfortable.

Wilbur Soot

No. They're like brothers to me.

[utahlive]

is your boss mad you haven’t been in?

Thank you for the question!

[transcript below]

Anonymous Caller:

Is your boss mad you haven’t been in?

Wilbur Soot:

....Maybe. I told her I had a cold a month ago. [off camera] she's usually pretty lenient. I'm not too worried.

[utahlive]

sick bedrotting dude. you should probably shower though

Thank you for your question, caller!!

[transcript below]

Anonymous Caller:

Sick bedrotting dude. you should probably shower though

Wilbur Soot:

I will when I'm READY!

[utahlive]

how did you explain your two year long no call no show to your boss at the gas station?

“In the end, I didn’t really have to explain anything?”

[transcript below]

Anonymous Caller:

how did you explain your two year long no call no show to your boss at the gas station?

Wilbur Soot:

[editorial note: its a flashback; artist rendition. Wilbur has just returned to Utah]

Yes! Finally!

[Wilbur calls his boss]

Hey, It’s Wilbur. [unintelligible] Wilbur Soot. [unintelligible] Yes- Yeah, the British sounding one. Listen, I was wondering-

[unintelligible] My two week notice didn’t get processed? Are you kidding? [unintelligible] Oh... [unintelligible] Ok... Ok That makes sense. [unintelligible] Sure. [unintelligible] Alright, see you Monday.

[utahlive]

in bed on camera? kinda unprofessional tbh

Thank you for the question, caller!

[transcript below]

Anonymous Caller:

In bed on camera? kinda unprofessional tbh

Wilbur Soot:

FINE. Gimme a minute.