#v: arthur conan doyle x theodorus van gogh x original character

[fang-and-feather]

Ikemen Vampire - Theo x OC

Words: 1,747

Summary: Amy had always been confident of who she was, so a change to what she thought very set about her, made her feel lost on her own identity. If this can change, what else that she also took for granted can? Luckly she has Theo to help her find herself again.

Tags: Fluff and Comfort, Sexuality and Identity Crisis, Background Genderbending, Background Polyamory, Background Theo x Female Arthur, just slight suggestive at the end

Written for April's Polyam Shipping Day Prompt: Attraction from @polyamships

I also have a poll regarding the future of this fic

I want to thank @onegianthotmess for her post from which I borrowed genderbent Arthur's name, and @bicayaya and @keithsandwich who I talked to about Amy's sexuality once and they were very sweet and helpful (if there was anyone else in that post, I will add you to these credits when I actually find the post)

This fic is very experimental. I am exploring something different with Amy, exploring how she would work in a ship with Theo, and it's also my first time properly writing Theo and the first trying genderbent IkeVamp... I didn't have much space for Arthur in this chapter, but this will focus on the three of them.

Also, how did I take the whole day just to edit this?!

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Amy had to deal with questioning herself, at minor changes in life or when questioned by someone else, but that was an easy, quick process, to assert her position in a situation.

Recently, it had been one change after another. Realizing her knowledge of the world was limited, vampires existed and time travel was possible. Questioning her feelings for Theo. And the more serious one, questioning her place in the new world as she chose to stay in this time period. She quickly adapted to every change.

But these situations, and everything before, had been about adapting to something external, be it a place, a situation or a person. The most internal questioning was about her tastes in men when she fell in love with Theo. It wasn’t that big of a life change.

Now this? This wasn’t related to a single person, and it changed her whole perception of herself, and such change removed all of her security in her own identity.

Although Amy never had actually been attracted to anyone before Theo. Never been in love before him. Her attempts at figuring if any shift of feelings towards a friend was love, and the different ways she observed each gender, made Amy very sure she was only interested in men. She never doubted that since her late teens.

And now she had a boyfriend. There was no reason to question it.

That was until the last few days around Arthea.

Amy had been friends with the writer for a while. She was Arthea’s early reader, and they sometimes went out together, solving small cases around town, and often grabbing something to eat on the way back. Arthea was someone Amy trusted to comfort or distract her to avoid panic attacks. But although Amy always had difficulty noticing the difference, nothing of the feelings she had differed from any of her other closest friends, so it had to be purely platonic.

Until this week, and especially this morning.

It had been a case to solve like any other, but when they stopped by a cafe for some sweets, Amy found herself embarrassed by Arthea sharing a spoonful of her own dessert. It was something she always casually did with other friends. Not something she had any romantic association besides movies making it seem so.

And she still attributed it to realizing people were watching and would have a different interpretation. But there was little to no excuse to what happened in the carriage.

Even while to justify the weirdness of earlier, Amy couldn’t forget it and be comfortable around her friend.

Arthea acted the same as always and tried to comfort her with the usual flirty teasing. But at that moment, it made things worse, especially when Arthea leaned in, as if to kiss Amy.

Amy knew her friend wouldn’t, but a part of her wanted it to happen. She felt trapped and confused and overreacted, things getting even more awkward between them.

She was afraid of what these feelings meant. If she couldn’t trust in what she was the most safe about herself, what else could change? How could she be sure of things? And who she was if she couldn’t be sure of anything?

The idea of such internal changes also brought up things she would rather forget, and the fear of these changes bringing her to similar points again.

Besides, a little voice amidst all that chaos whispered that this kind of change wasn’t appropriate. Something she always accepted in others, but in herself, it was unacceptable.

But that was the thing that mattered the least. Being stripped of her self knowledge was what scared her.

Amy built a kind of character out of traits she had that fit occasions, like a professional Amy for work, but to build and maintain these, she had to know her core, and if her core changed, it destabilized everything else. She would have to put a long time into rebuilding everything.

But if something changed, how could she be sure it wouldn’t happen again? That she wouldn’t put all that effort only to have to do it again halfway? And how would she deal with these situations in the meantime?

Amy nearly jumped when an arm wrapped around her back, but she found herself secure in Theo’s embrace.

She had hidden in the attic because she didn’t have the energy to deal with people. She wasn’t aware her boyfriend was back and that he would find her.

“What’s the problem, Hondje? Are you sad because I didn’t take you on a walk today?”

“I’m fine, Theo.” She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Just thinking.”

“It doesn’t feel right for you to be so quiet.” When she remained quiet, unsure of what he really expected her to say, he sighed. “She told me what happened.”

Of course Arthea did. She was one of the biggest gossipers in this house, even though she had serious competition.

“I’m sorry. Won’t happen again.”

If it already didn’t feel right before, thinking that Theo already had an idea of who she was that he had committed to, it didn’t feel proper to change that.

“Are you sure? Because if you can control it, then it shouldn’t have happened now.”

She should have known he would be mad. Why was he even still holding her in such a comforting manner? She had messed up his trust.

“I’ll learn to.”

Amy expected a serious response like “As you should” or something more teasing with hidden understanding like “I’ll make sure you do”. But Theo pulled her closer and caressed her hair, a sweet gesture that didn’t seem to fit the situation.

“Do you like her?” Amy shrugged. Even she wasn’t sure. “I’ve known it for a while, even if you didn’t notice, and I don’t like this. I don’t want to share you. But is it really so much worse than seeing you struggling to hold back and hide yourself for me?”

The words sounded strange coming from Theo, but it took Amy a moment to realize why.

These were the same words she had told Theo after he, slightly more drunk than usual, had almost kissed an even more drunk Arthea that was flirting with him after a party.

She had confronted him when he was sober, but it took a while to wear down his stubbornness and get Theo to admit that he was interested in the writer before Amy even showed up. But he clashed with Arthea’s personality and didn’t think she was looking for anything serious with anyone.

Besides, he had other things in his mind other than looking for a relationship, and that made him push these feelings away, apparently successfully. So, when he met Amy, he didn’t even think about that when falling in love with her.

But forgetting and just burying the attraction were different things. His case was the latter, although he only realized so when drunk.

And although Amy never imagined she would, was okay with it. In fact, she was partially happy that Theo was opening himself to new feelings and experiences. But a part of her still wanted to keep him all to herself.

These words meant Theo felt the same. And Amy wished that solved all her problems.

When she continued not to respond, Theo pushed her down on the bench, trapping her under him.

“What is it? Were you trying to make me jealous? Expecting me to punish you? Because I can always change my mind.” he said with a dangerous smirk.

“No!” Amy finally spoke, trying to push him away by the shoulders, but neither she put that much effort in it, nor he let himself be pried away.

“Then what is it, Hondje? Seems like I still didn’t train you properly, if you still think you need to hide from me. Shall we start a new lesson now? Or will you trust me?”

Between his usual teasing, Theo knew the right words to push her. And never too hard either, as surprising as it would be to other people.

“I… I was sure I wasn’t like this… and the idea of changing makes me feel… broken. I’m not sure if I even am the same person anymore. Or who I will be in the future. What If I become someone very different from who I am now? Someone different from the person you love?”

“What nonsense is that? Why would being attracted to her change who you are? You ‘are’ the person I love, and you couldn’t change that even if you wanted.” His tone was fierce, but the words were sweet. “I wouldn’t be Arthea if it was that easy to change my mind. It’s not you who will manage that.” Theo intertwined their fingers, an intimate gesture that also had her further pinned down, and kissed her until she was breathless. “And I changed for you. Am I a different person?” When Amy shook her head, he kissed her again. “If you ever forget who you are, I’ll be sure to remind you. Thoroughly. Because no matter who you will become, you will always be mine.”

Theo kissed her again, letting one of her hands go to explore her body. Amy moaned, her hold on his hand tightening. Her next words didn’t match her actions, though.

“Not here, Theo.”

When they parted, Theo sat back, pulling Amy with him.

“I’ll listen because you were a good girl. But you better be prepared. Once I get you back to bed, you won’t be leaving until I make sure you have no more silly worries. And maybe for a while longer, because I don’t think you will be able to stand when I’m done with you.”

Theo grinned before pulling her for a new kiss. One hand still entangled with hers, the other tangling in her hair, holding her closer.

Amy didn’t try to protest this time. Because Theo was right that she had him for purchase if she even lost sight of herself.

She would have to talk to Arthea later. But, for now, Amy would enjoy her current boyfriend.

“Does that mean you will take a break from work?”

“Someone will have to keep an eye on you, Hondje. You always get in trouble when I’m not looking.”

She did not. But before she could protest, Theo was kissing her again, stealing all further thoughts, leaving just him. And Amy couldn’t feel safer.

Tag List: @tele86, @nightghoul381, @natimiles, @bicayaya, @eventinelysplayground, @2-lines-and-a-circle, @vampiricpancake, @specters0rd

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