#vampires can mean so many things in SPN - here it's hunger

[shallowseeker]

in the nihilism script, dean is in a time loop, beheading his own desires as he stays in stasis, sublimating his love for cas through work and through miming desire for Pamela-as-standin

dean’s always pushed his own happiness to the wayside (example: back at Sonny’s, with Robin)

anyhoo…

he kills “Drunk” and “Raincoat” over and over, symbolically killing his and Cas’s hunger for one another.

courtesy @spnscripthunt 14x10 nihilism

[prettyflyshyguy]

WE'RE FINALLY HERE. WE'RE FINALLY AT S3E7 - FRESH BLOOD

And you KNOW ya girl has a lot more to say about this one so let's just get this party started shall we.

And now that I have CONTEXT I have THOUGHTS

The tragedy of this character is awful. But I'm appreciative for what it allows as a narrative device (as much as it is a shame that this random woman is negated to being that, and only that; a device) - after they've SEEN vampires be good and live a peaceful life. It's harsh that they just cull her off and decide that its a decision they are allowed to make.

This will surely not come back to haunt them when Dean gets infected in three seasons time.

I am a big sucker for anytime this show has them Decide something for others, only to be hit with "Oh no now its happening to us" and the immense emotional turmoil that causes.

Going to lean into this a lot more in the fic I think.

Bella hon I love you, but seeing Dean give a genuine threat because the man's got one thing to lose now and he's not letting anything take it away while he's still alive; marvelous.

Throw one too many low blow shots about him being no better than you and maybe just maybe he starts to act like it.

BLOOD JAR BLOOD JAR BLOOD JAR

Now I did skip to watch this episode cause I can't help myself, I like vampires too much and spn hits the spot. Having said that re-watching this with context on GORDON has made it a lot more interesting.

Now I really. Like. Gordon. He's a great antagonist. His voice, his mannerisms, the way he is so uncomfortably unsettlingly calm. Phenomenal. He has some really iconic lines and moments in this show and he's such a good foil to Dean.

Absolute epitome of "become the thing you despise" but deep end side of it. Like he's become so consumed by obsession and righteousness in his actions and his drive is just too strong.

I enjoyed that this ep looks at the primal survival instinct. And the duality of the Winchester's (mostly Sam) attitude towards Gordon being; man's gotta go, contrasted with the way Gordon talks to the Vampire. It's the gradual build up of detachment. Gordon is a monster. So are the Winchesters. None of them want to see that in themselves. The Vampire is too. They're all just coming at it from different angles. Each party has deep rooted trauma and pain, and each are dealing with it in a terrible way.

Sam's uncomfortable attitude shift of "It's Gordon or us" is harrowing. Dean being the more hesitant one is interesting. He's the first to chop off the head of a infected woman who's confused, upset, and pleading for help - but Gordon makes him uncomfortable (despite everything) and Sam's cold cut attitude doesn't help. I mean they've left him alive twice and each time he's only gotten more ruthless.

Dean cracks a joke about Sam not pushing back against killing him, but that feels far more like Dean fishing for Sam's conscience because he's unsure what the right thing to do is because Gordon isn't by definition an 'evil thing' in the lore books. Sam's no longer the grounding rock.

Oh if it were so easy.

You can really see they were dabbling with the transformation scenes in this and they just came in SWINGING when S6 rolled around.

the SPN vampire teeth are growing on me (HAR. HAR. HAR.) regrettably.

Ok so. This really begs the question. How much willpower does it take to resist. How much does that differ, per person? Is this Gordon just full SNAPPING upon being turned? Does he just immediately relent due to him already being on the brink? He has the most intense and unhinged attitude of all the hunter's that've been given primary screen time, so maybe its fair to say that part of him just completely caved in once he got hit with the overstimulation + hunger combo.

I think back to his introduction episode and how he talked to Dean about the hole inside yourself, like the pit or void you'll never fill or satisfy. How he used that to drive himself forward. Working solo, without a rock to anchor himself to (Dean has Sam) maybe Gordon just completely lost himself in this initial phase after turning.

This also echoes the S6 moment when Dean visits Lisa and also gets violent. Dean also loses control but ALMOST bites her. He still throws her and Ben around like they're ragdolls, which he clearly never intended to do.

Once again, great shots in this show. However I do wonder if its just my personal bias, or if there is a bit of an imbalance of woman corpse. Don't want to throw a stone from a glass house though. Just feels weird not mentioning it when I'm like "WOW SICK SHOT" and its. This picture.

Anyway. More to the point. "You don't understand. I was desperate. You ever felt desperate? I've lost everyone I ever loved. I'm staring down eternity alone."

Now THIS is what I'm talking about. It's so fucking human. What a shame, we're forced to see ourselves in something we deeply and truly want to believe isn't like us at all. Oh Dear. Reconcile THAT Dean you little shit.

This is so nicely echoed in S6 - the vampire is done, he's lost everything and he'd just rather have it end. The nihilism, the bottom of the pit. The end of the downward spiral.

Gordon's turn on Eternal Damnation and he wants to get off.

Once again I deeply enjoy the way the Hunters just drop everything so cold when something happens to someone. Including Sam and Dean in that, they struggle cause they're younger, less experienced, less jaded. The older hunters are fucking brutal. Gordon's partner, despite genuinely believing Sam has to die, just full send tells Gordon "No I can't let you take out Sam first. I need to kill you right now."

Despite everything, the common goal that they both wholeheartedly believed in, that they both gunned for so hard, thrown out the window when one is turned. Hung out to dry.

And how quickly they all turn on each other when this happens.

Anyway I think lore wise the vampires get stronger once turned, but I'm guessing drinking human blood enhances this further. Making notes for myself cause Dean's on a strictly vegetarian diet and this complicates matters for him of course.

But yeah, jesus, Gordon.

Anyway

Now THIS is something I gotta remember - Dean becomes a fucking menace when he's scared. Jokes get more intense, he has no filter, does not stop at nothing even despite the increasing protesting of the people around and closest to him and he full disconnects from loved ones.

"No. I'm a monster."

UGH. Compels me.

It's the resignation that's so fun I think. Like he just snaps, decided Yeah, this is it. Eats some people, then goes back to the original plan of Kill Sam. But its the way he leans into being the monster. Gordon was a mess before, but now its like he's truly just let go of a part of himself as he truly believes there's no alternative. Every vampire he's met and killed he saw as a monster and nothing more. Despite one, in front of him, exercising self control, he's still committed to viewing them as only monsters.

Once turned he can only accept the singular reality that he is a monster, and so, he does nothing to combat it. He embraces it.

Is it easier to kill him when he's a vampire? Or was it a further reminder that he was, and still is, a person?

Closing thoughts: good ep, easily one of my favorites. But you already knew that.

Love you Gordon you bloody legend.