#vash is me in many uncomfortable yet so very familiar ways

[whispersosoftly]

I have been thinking for days about this but like episodes 10 and 11 of Trigun Stampede-- specifically relating to the twins-- is such a fantastic representation of both rape and familial abuse.

Vash is an unwilling participant in Knives' goal to make many independents, and while the individual plants have no discernable will of their own, Vash does. Vash is being utilized as the conduit for Knives to impregnate hundreds of plants, all without Vash's consent. In lieu of the actual hosts being capable of giving or rescinding that consent, it falls to Vash, and Knives happily and willfully removes Vash's ability to say no. He strips Vash down to his components and uses only that what benefits him most.

And worse than that is how he attempts to usurp Rem, the most important memory in Vash's life. He doesn't only attempt to remove the memory, he seeks to corrupt it and to push this idea that no, actually, it was him. He'd always been there for Vash. He'd always been the one Vash turned to.

There's this insidiousness to some types of abuse. The kinds that turn your perception in a circle like a cartoon, uncertain of your direction and suddenly so very afraid of moving forward. That insidiousness is so often met with "is this really abuse?"

And I think that Knives and Vash hit a specific type of abuse that is familiar to me. Another post I saw compared it to being a transman, and I agree. You become both too coarse and far too soft, in the eyes of the abuser. You become unacceptable except in the manner by which they have decided you can be loved. You become the component parts, and your use and faculty is determined only by what the abuser wants of you.

[jeweled-blue-eyes]

I find it quite strange that you say that Siyeon and Eckles' age difference is creepy, when you shipped them a lot before, even if Siyeon had owner behaviors you didn't care. What happened? Just because they didn't stay together were you able to take off the blindfold? Because, be honest with you, if they had stayed together in that toxic relationship you wouldn't be attacking the characters so much right now.

I shipped Cha Siyeon and Iklies two years ago. Back then I was still young and the implications of abuse were much more subtile and harder to pick up on as not many chapters had been translated. At that time Iklies had been presented as Cha Siyeon's only safe route, ergo everything was much more toned down otherwise the plot twist wouldn't have come as a surprise. Naively I had assumed that Iklies and Penelope would end up together and raise a rebellion together freeing the other slaves. I wasn't familiar with the problematic portrayal of slavery and colonialism that seems to be so widespread in isekai as I had not consumed many manhwas yet.

You seem to be under the assumption that liking a character = endorsing the actions of said characters and shipping a ship = wanting such relationship irl. You are wrong. Even if Callisto committed genocide and Penelope is a groomer I'm not going to come into your ask box and demand you to stop shipping them or start a bullying campaign by writing out a callout post against you. I'm of the opinion that anyone should be allowed to ship whatever they like as long as it's fiction.

But does that mean that no one is allowed to share their criticism of characters with each other? Does that make it okay to shut down the voices of those, especially poc readers, who find the implications of the author chosing to despict the colonizer with aryan features as a hero and the indigenous boy who had witnessed the genocide and enslavement of his nation by said man's hands as a villain deeply uncomfortable? I don't think so. Specifically because it's so frowned down upon to point out the flaws of the fandom faves we have readers who say with their full chest that Iklies betrayed Penelope (slaves cannot betray their master), Delman deserved to be subjected to the genocide because some of them plundered at the borders (did the women and children plunder too?) and the slaves deserved to remain in bondage because they dared to rebel against their masters and it would make Callisto look bad in front of his citizen to free them (uhm what the fuck???).

Let's keep things civil, shall we? If these discussions bother you and you can't contribute without feeling the need to resort to insults and passive-aggressiveness, feel free to block the tag anti Cha Siyeon and anti Callisto Regulus or even block this blog alltogether. I'm surprised that you didn't do this already. I, as an Iklies stan, don't even have the luxury of blocking the anti Iklies tag as such consideration isn't shown by diehard Callisto stans who loved crosstagging their hate into the character tag.

Anyways as for the age gap thing. I'm generally not an age gap kind of gal unless it's under very specific circumstances where the narrative aknowledges the fucked up-ness ⬇️

I bought the physical copy of vadd this summer, saw the ages and went "hey wait". Sometimes you don't notice everything at once. And I'm not all knowing. I didn't know about South Korean laws on statuatory rape when I was younger. It's also not only the age gap that was an issue but the sum of all things together.

Now the last sentence is very funny. "if they had stayed together in that toxic relationship you wouldn't be attacking the characters so much right now." Anyone who follows me knows that this assumption is false. I'm happy to inform you that I ship lots of dark and fucked up ships and I love to point out and analyze in what ways they are toxic to each other. For example Nai and Vash? I literally call Nai an eco fascist and wrote an entire essay how it is doubtful that Nai even loves Vash. I called episode 11 and 12 a rape allegory. It's the Vashwood/Plantcest antis that are in deep denial that Trigun features incestuous abuse and not the Plantcest shippers who will happily explain the layers of trauma caused by Nai that Vash carries within him.

I ship Derrick x og Penelope but do you see me woobyfying him or wishing they had ended up together and being mad that they didn't? Heck no. If anything I'm mad that he got away with everything and Cha Siyeon even lets him hang around her daughter. My ideal ending is Penelope shooting with her crossbow at him and setting the mansion on fire. If it's true that he fell in love with 12 y/o Penelope at first sight that would make him a pedophile. I'm being honest. Someone needs to talk about these things because I don't think that even the author was fully aware of this.

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

Birthday prompt #8

(I have been posting these for so long now :’) my fingers and my brain are no longer connected. I need to sleep xD)

Read on Ao3 Birthday prompts masterlist

@xandiland

[Now that they’ve reunited with Elnor, who’s missed many of the events of the past few episodes, I’d like to see Elnor’s perspective on how the others approach Rios. Would he be disappointed in Picard for his brusqueness? Concerned that nobody else seems to see the pain he’s seeing? Who knows? But I think hyper-honest Elnor wouldn’t hold back in his assessment of the others’ failures and might finally get our boy Rios the caring and respect he so deserves.]

Elnor is overjoyed that Picard is no longer dead.

He would hold him and never let go if he could, but Picard isn’t very fond of hugs – a great pity – and Elnor himself is not entirely comfortable around him yet, and Picard is uncomfortable too since Elnor has told him that. Raffi and Soji and Doctor Jurati take all of Picard’s time anyway, so Elnor slips away one morning and goes to where la Sirena should be.

He thinks Seven might be there, and he hasn’t seen Captain Rios in a while now, and he misses both of them.

When he arrives at the charred spot where the ship initially crash-landed, he is surprised to see that there is nothing there. Why? Elnor wonders, anxiety coalescing in his chest into a mean jadashha that snaps and bite at his innards. Surely Captain Rios wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye? He wouldn’t leave Raffi, that is unthinkable.

But then Elnor remembers than Picard and Doctor Jurati used the ship to stop the Zhat Vash, and that they beamed down and left it up there. Nobody must have brought it back to the surface. Elnor goes back to the city and looks for Raffi, because she should know where Rios is.

He doesn’t find Raffi, but he finds Soji in a courtyard, angrily staring at her communicator. He doesn’t know Soji well, but he knows that Picard cares about her – that he died for her, which makes Elnor feel all kinds of sad and funny when he thinks about it – so she must be alright. She is Data’s daughter, and Elnor loved the stories about Data when he was a child.

“Soji,” he greets. He notices the pile of communicators next to her and the neural-enhanced portable replicator she is holding, and he frowns. “Do you have a problem with your communicator?”

“Yes,” she snaps, “how did you guess?”

Elnor is a bit taken aback, but he quickly understands the problem.

“You are frustrated, and you are not yet accustomed to the way of Absolute Candor, adding to your irritation. If you wish me to leave, I will go.”

Soji holds up a hand and beckons him closer, the “hold on” implied by her gestures. He approaches and studies the communicator she is holding. It does not appear broken, and the others don’t either. Elnor is puzzled.

“I do not understand, they appear to be functioning.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Soji sighs. She holds up the device for him to see. “It works well for on-planet communication, but I can’t seem to get a hold of Rios.”

Elnor perks up.

“You wish to speak to Captain Rios? I was looking for him, I haven’t seen him in several days. Or Seven.”

Soji hands him the comm badge and starts fiddling with another one.

“You are growing increasingly agitated,” Elnor notices. Out of curiosity, he taps on the badge himself and raises it to his mouth. “Hello, Captain Rios, this is Elnor. Can you hear me?”

Silence answers him, and Soji gives him a strange look. It might have been meant to convey “told you so,” but Elnor is not yet entirely familiar with Human facial expressions. They can slightly differ from Romulan ones, and there was no need for face reading among the Qowat Milat. He tilts his head and waits for her to stop trying to get the other badge to work, studying her in the meantime.

“Rios, come in,” she says curtly in the device. “I need to beam up.”

“You do not appear to be eager to speak to Captain Rios,” Elnor points out, confused. “You are angry and short-tempered, when there is no actual reason for you to be. What is the real cause of your frustration?”

Soji huffs and crosses her arms, and looks heavenwards.

“Nothing too important. I’m just… I just thought I would get away from the city a little bit, now that things are settling. I just want to spend a day and a night up there and come back.”

Elnor nods in understanding. He looks at the communicator again, just as Doctor Soong strides into view. Elnor doesn’t like Doctor Soong. He has already told him once and been informed by Picard and Raffi that it was not an appropriate thing to say, but now Doctor Soong knows and the dislike is mutual. The time for hostilities is past, though, so Elnor nods politely when the man walks to them.

“Soji, Elnor,” Doctor Soong greets, studying the communicator pile with the same interest as Elnor has previously displayed. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to call Captain Rios,” Soji explains, tossing one of the badges at Doctor Soong. “Is there a disruption in the planetary tachyon field? None of these seem to work.”

Doctor Soong frowns and checks something on a very small portable holo-transmitter he had in his pocket, frowning at the green floating screen. Elnor doesn’t know what the readings mean, so he waits.

“Well,” Doctor Soong says after a minute, “there is no disruption at all, and your badges are working just fine. Either the ship is experiencing a malfunction, or Captain Rios is ignoring you.”

The jadashha is back, gnawing at Elnor’s stomach. Captain Rios doesn’t ignore people. He listens, even if you are a despicable Zhat Vash assassin, and he talks, even if you are a very angry xB about to murder an old acquaintance.

“That would not be like him,” Elnor protests.

Soji makes a face.

“He hid in his quarters for a while when I got aboard la Sirena. Maybe he just wants some peace and quiet.”

“I do not believe that,” Elnor protests. And because he is now worried about Captain Rios and Seven of Nine, who is probably up there with him, he picks up one of the badges again and tries one more time. “Captain Rios? This is Elnor. I feel anxious because you do not answer our messages, and I would like to see you and Seven, to alleviate my worry. May I come aboard?”

Elnor dissolves away before Soji and Soong have had any time to call his endeavor pointless. He materializes on la Sirena’s transporter pad, of course, and Captain Rios gives him a two-fingered salute. Elnor copies it, and moves to hug him.

“It fills my heart with joy to see that you are alright,” he says as he folds the Captain into an embrace.

Rios laughs – it makes his chest rumble, and it’s a very peculiar feeling that Elnor likes – and he hugs Elnor back before gently pushing him away.

“Hey there, hermanito,” Rios grins. “Seven’s fine too, before you ask. I think she’s in the sonic. Or on the holodeck, I don’t know.”

Elnor nods and studies Rios, and he is disheartened by what he sees. The Captain looks tired and he has red eyes, like Humans get when they have not slept enough. He thinks it might be to make themselves more intimidating to compensate for their temporary weakness. Romulans do not get green eyes, so he cannot be sure. Elnor has seen the red eyes on Raffi, on Agnes, on Seven too, and even on Picard, but Captain Rios’ red eyes are worse. He must be feeling very weak.

“You are exhausted,” Elnor says. “I do not understand. We have won. Picard is alive. Are you not happy? Why are you neglecting to rest?”

Captain Rios stiffens like Elnor has just hit him. They stare into each other’s eyes for a long while, Elnor unblinking returning Rios’ scrutinizing gaze, and then Captain Rios sighs tiredly and motions Elnor to follow. They go to the bridge, and Captain Rios sits in his chair, leaning heavily against the back.

“It’s not that I don’t want to, kid,” Rios mutters, rubbing at his face. “I just… I just can’t right now. I don’t see pretty pictures when I close my eyes.”

“Is that why you were ignoring Soji’s calls? Because you did not wish for anyone to see that you are tired?” Elnor inquires. But wait, it does not make sense. “But Seven is there.”

Rios huffs.

“It’s not like that. I just don’t want to see people right now, especially not Picard or Soji.”

That confuses Elnor, but he decides to go back to that in a minute, once he has dealt with another puzzling aspect of Rios’ explanation.

“You are seeing me,” he says, sitting on the console so he can face Rios. “I am not people?”

Rios snorts.

“You asked, kid. And you were worried about Seven and me. I’m just not too keen on letting them touch my stuff right now.”

Elnor carefully reviews what he has gathered of Rios’ relationship with Picard and Soji. He remembers that Rios was crying too when Picard died, and that he came to find him and Raffi when they were both sobbing, alone. Elnor remembers what Raffi told him later, that Rios’ Captain died and that it involved Jana, a girl that looked just like Soji and Sutra. He remembers that Soji had only good things to say about Captain Rios, and that he’d accepted to let his ship go through a Borg conduit to reach Coppelius faster despite the damage it could cause to his home.

Elnor tries, and tries, and tries, but he doesn’t understand why Rios would not wish to see Soji. Picard, Elnor can understand, because things are confusing and awkward and even he cannot seem to know how to act when he usually never bothers thinking about it. But Soji?

“I do not understand,” Elnor states.

Rios huffs and tilts his head back.

“I just want to be alone, Elnor,” he says.

“That is a half-truth.”

“Mierda, you’re annoying,” Rios smiles. It’s a small smile and it’s tired, but it counts. “Okay, here’s the thing. I wouldn’t mind letting them come aboard if they asked, like you did. Soji hasn’t so far. She’s just told me she needed to be beamed up.” He takes in a deep breath. “La Sirena is my ship, kid. My home.”

“This is distressing to hear,” Elnor says sadly, mouth twisting into a little pout. “But if you told everyone how you feel, then they would ask.”

Rios frowns.

“Maybe I don’t do that because I’d like them to figure it out by themselves. I want them to get it.”

Elnor nods and got up. Captain Rios looks surprised to see him go, but Elnor has things to attend to.

“I will be back shortly,” he assures him, striding to the transporter buffet. “Please tell Seven I came by.”

“Sure thing, hermano,” Captain Rios says back.

Elnor teleports to the surface before any questions can be asked.

“Elnor!” Soji exclaims as she watched him reappear. “Are they alright? Why did he beam you up?”

“Because I asked,” Elnor answered curtly, brushing past her.

He needs to find Raffi.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I believe that your behavior has been unsatisfactory,” Elnor tells Picard in lieu of a greeting, earning himself a confused look and a raised eyebrow.

Picard does not believe he will ever get used to the way of Absolute Candor. But blunt as it always is, he has rarely heard Elnor speaks to him so harshly. It reminds him of Vashti, when fourteen years of pent-up feelings of rejection and bitterness were suddenly free to overflow, and Picard does not like it in the slightest.

“What are you talking about, Elnor?”

“I am talking about you and, and Soji. Raffi has told me much of what happened on the ship during my absence. It has made me very upset, and I am angered as well.”

Picard sits back in his seat and frowned, waiting for Elnor to elaborate. It might all just be a misunderstanding, or so he hopes. After the resolution of the threat to both the galaxy and the synthetics, and his own death and resurrection, Picard is far too tired to engage in more conflict.

“Explain to me what this is about before this conversation goes any further,” Picard requests.

“Captain Rios was very hurt by your words and actions when you and Soji came back from Nepenthe, and I do not believe you ever apologized.”

That’s unexpected. Picard frowns, trying to recall what he could have done to deserve the scathing rebuke.

“You yelled at him,” Elnor informs him before before he can wrestle with his memory any further. “Soji hacked his ship and tried to steal it. You mutinied. Those were not honorable actions.”

Ah. Picard can understand why Elnor would see it that way. It’s a good thing Rios doesn’t. Clearly, this is a case of miscommunication, like he hoped.

“Elnor, Rios agreed to bring us to Coppelius. There was no ‘mutiny’ and no hijacking.”

Elnor stares at him intently, and then shakes his head. Picard sees his eyes narrow. He doesn’t understand why right away, but he has the feeling that Elnor is somehow terribly disappointed.

“You sat in his chair,” Elnor counters. “You tried taking control of his ship. Soji used the name of a dead person from his past to get him to say yes. I fail to see how you do not grasp the extent of your disregard for Captain Rios’ feelings.”

Picard would like to argue, say that Rios really didn’t mind, but the truth is that he can’t be sure. They were all under severe amounts of stress after the Cube and Nepenthe. It is possible that in his own eagerness to help Soji, he failed to see Rios’ own struggles with the situation. It would certainly be in character for him, at any rate.

“Captain Rios agreed to take you to Coppelius because he is nice,” Elnor deems important to add. “You needed help and he could give it. That’s not a reason not to ask.”

Elnor is gone before Picard can think of an answer. He sighs.

“Soji,” he calls into his communicator, “could I see you for a moment? I think we need to give Rios a call.”

[weepylucifer]

for @electricpentacle​: 36: “Don’t move, it’ll be okay.”

Spoilers for Picard finale, proceed with caution!!

Hugh strongly disliked regeneration.

He was thankfully past that phase where he had to plug himself into a charger at night. He slept in a bed, like a person, now, and only some of his implants got plugged into anything. Still, blacking out for hours on end, surrendering control of his body to a daily fit of unconsciousness, made him vaguely uncomfortable at the best of times. He much preferred being up and about. So when he woke up with no memory of having gotten horizontal and a sudden, searing, encompassing pain coursing through him as he attempted to move, his mind immediately jumped to the worst conclusion, every xB’s nightmare. Oh shit, they’re scrapping me for parts.

He had to get out of here, wherever here was. He was not restrained. Foolish of them, giving Hugh a chance to escape. He tried to sit up - again the pain - but he had to be more than the pain - it drove tears to his eyes, wrung an animal sound from his throat, somewhere between a cry and a whimper - no time for that now -

Suddenly there was a shape blocking out the light, a silhouette, someone... and hands, hands on Hugh, not hurting, not yet, but restraining, pressing him back down.

Hugh wasn’t a fighter, hated the concept, but... rats, the Romulans called them, him and all the xB. Cornered, a rat would fight. Even though it hurt like a thousand red-hot needles, he brought his arm up to shield himself against the intruder. None of his remaining implants were weaponized (which was a good thing, Hugh barely knew which end of a phaser to point where) but he could kick and scratch and bite and

“Please, calm yourself,” urged a vaguely familiar voice above him. “Please, you’re hurting yourself. Shh. Don’t move, it’ll be okay.”

“You’re going to take me apart!” How was any of this okay?

“Oh... no, my friend, I’d never. I pledged myself to your cause.”

The word friend broke through the daze, that and how sincerely shocked the voice sounded. Hugh blinked, breathed, attempted to assess. His artificial eye was swimmy, only slowly coming back online. He tried to squint the natural one and discern the shape above him. He knew that person.

Ah. A lithe frame, long strands of hair, high cheekbones, the tips of pointed ears, concerned eyes peering down at him from under elegantly slanted eyebrows. Attractive, Hugh’s mind supplied, a useless assessment. Mouthy Romulan.

“Elnor?”

Elnor gave him a shaky smile. “You’re finally awake.”

With his vision clearing as pain ebbed away, Hugh looked from Elnor to his surroundings. He was in his own bed, in his own room. Oh yes, he had a bedroom on a Borg cube now. Living space carved out on a Borg cube, where no organic living was supposed to happen, was by nature sparse, impersonal, and Hugh’s attempts to make the room his own in the past had yielded... mixed results. There was his desk and work station, where he performed impromptu maintenance on his implants, there were pictures on the walls of his friends, (the crew from his original cube, the very first xBs, Geordi at their latest meeting), there was the little rainbow flag that Geordi had gifted him for his last naming day. Little touches of color against the oppressive dark of the walls, but Hugh liked to think he’d managed to impress his personality on the formerly Collective-dominated space.

How had he gotten here? Had Elnor... brought him here? But how would Elnor know where he lived?

Hugh noticed that Elnor was squeezing his hand. Rather tightly, too. “Where... what happened?”

Elnor’s eyes turned wide and distant as he was reliving the memory. “You got stabbed. The Zhat Vash agent...”

“Yes, yes. After.” Hugh remembered being stabbed. Remembered Narissa slaughtering his people, innocents, only just on the cusp of finding back to themselves. All that potential, so many healed and vibrant lives in potentia, snuffed out and tossed away like so much garbage. This was how they perceived his people. This was how they’d always treat his people. How’s that for a lost cause?

“Seven of Nine, she put you in a... she called it an alcove,” Elnor said. “For a while you stood and healed, like the inactive drones we saw. It made me feel a bit uncomfortable. Then she had me take you here. It’s better. You are crying.”

“Seven is here?” Hugh raised a hand - it was weak, it was trembling, he’d lost a lot of blood, apparently he’d brushed up against death - and wiped his eyes. He wanted to get to the bottom of what had transpired here, learn why Seven was here, how many xB had survived, what he could do next, how he could help next - but he also wanted to cry. To mourn those he’d failed to protect in any substantial way. A good cry can work wonders - that was one of the pithy Geordi wisdoms he’d gotten over the years. But he also wanted to move on already, to get back to work.

“How long was I out? What else was going on?”

Elnor cocked his head. The movement caused a strand of his hair to shift from its queue. So long, Hugh’s mind supplied. Nice to put my hands in there, potentially. He dismissed it. Individuality meant untidy thinking, sometimes. Thoughts drifted, got hung up on matters that were irrelevant.

“A lot,” Elnor was saying. “I think Soji almost destroyed the world, but then she reconsidered. The cube is stranded now. Picard was dead, but he’s now recovering. There are no more Zhat Vash here. I’m sorry, I don’t know how many xBs are still alive, but they’re attempting to fix everything here. The Synths over at the settlement have started talking to the Federation...”

“Hold on a moment.” Hugh raised a hand and waved it weakly. “Synths? Dr. Asha almost destroyed the world? They stranded the Artifact? Picard was dead? How did I miss all this?”

Elnor was still holding his other hand. Now he gave it a few pats, seemingly absentminded, not even noticing he was doing it. “You had to heal for a while. Seven says it was to be expected, since you’ve not been Borg for so long. But now you’re awake.” Elnor let out a long, shaky exhale. His shoulders slumped. Whatever had gone on lately, it was evident that Elnor had been through a lot. “Now you’re awake.”

“Hey now,” Hugh murmured, squeezing Elnor’s hand back briefly. The guy liked physical contact, right? Hugh seemed to remember this. He sat up a little - it was already much easier now - and reached out for a one-armed hug.

Elnor reciprocated with enthusiasm, throwing both arms around Hugh and holding on for dear life. It was a tight squeeze, and another burst of pain echoed through Hugh’s body, but it passed, and he appreciated all the rest of it. Elnor was a warm weight pressed against him, solid, grounding, comforting, and he even allowed Hugh to rest his head on his shoulder for a moment. This was a good hug.

Would be nice... him and me like this, Hugh thought. Would be nice to see if he kisses as good as he hugs. Need only move a slight bit... Again, there was very little telling where that had come from. Hugh shook his head and broke away from the immediate contact. Elnor’s arms slipped off him, resting to both sides of him on the bed, still close, still warm, still bracing.

“We should get going on,” Hugh said. “I should talk to Seven, find out what exactly I missed.”

Elnor nodded. “She stayed on the station. I can take you there. The Synths let us come and go as we please now.”

Synths, huh. Hugh flicked his eyes shut for a moment. He had opposed the Synth ban when it had happened, out of principle, even as the phrase Soong-type android was still, even all these years after Lore, liable to give him a tension headache.

“But I feel discomfort,” Elnor continued. Ah, something something absolute candour.

Hugh tried to shift away from him. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Not with you,” Elnor clarified. “But today... these previous days have been... so much. And I felt wonder, and joy, and fear, and grief, and I thought you were dead, and we all almost died, and Picard actually died, although he’s doing much better already. And it’s a long walk from here to the station and I’m not sure you can do it yet. And I’d like to... sit, here, if that’s okay. We can still go later, right?”

Hugh raised an eyebrow. “You’d like to... just sit here?”

Elnor nodded. “Please. I like to see... I pledged myself to you, and it’s good to see you alive. I like to look... at you.” This truth came haltingly, with Elnor’s eyes downcast in what seemed like sudden shyness.

Hm, Hugh thought, filing that observation away for later. “Not much to look at here, but sure. We can take a moment.”

Somehow, their hands had enjoined again.

[bufffywritesfanfic]

Day 2 (10/1): Change / Inviting / Orange

Summary : https://bufffywritesfanfic.tumblr.com/post/178600874539/prucan-week-2018

Part 1: https://bufffywritesfanfic.tumblr.com/post/178600981934/day-1-930-beginnings-renewal-green

Without explanation or a chance to eat his breakfast, Matthew was rushed out of his room by a summons. It came in the form of a bell that would toll pleasantly, letting him know that they king was looking for him and the location was to be in the dinning hall. On his way out he stole a glance at the mirror, smoothing down the bed head and checking the silk robe he had donned that morning before a servant had dropped off his meal. He found it passible for what he was likely being summoned to and slipped out into the hall.

The wing that made up this part of the castle belonged exclusively to the King's Chosen and was where most of them, Matthew included, spent the majority of their time. He had never felt uncomfortable here, Francis had seen to that by granting him access and privilege that the rest didn't have. It was he who had wanted the library renovated and taken on the task of attempting to educate those passing through looking for an upgrade in status and he took pride in that. It was a perk to his job to have met so many different people from within the country he was deeply connected to and the next Ace would benefit from what he had learned.

The room the wing spilled into was used for primarily for the royalty's lavish parties. More of those sponsored by Francis than that of the queen or the jack. For as long as he had been here, Queen Lily had always been sickly and her constant companion, Jack Vash, took on most of the responsibility for her care. Sometimes they did make a brief appearance, as they had a week earlier at the most recent party. Vash often pushed her in on a wheeled chair and she would smile and converse for a time while the jack hovered protectively.

It had also been the last time he had seen Gilbert, which always disappointed him when the other wandered in and out of his life. But jokers weren't tied to kingdoms like he was. And he didn't have any magical powers like they did.

It surprised him when he entered and found three people gathered there at a table. At the head was Francis who immediately stood and beckoned him closer once he had been spotted. Matthew smiled and made his walk much more graceful and alluring, allowing himself to glance at the companions starting with the man siting to the right.

Antonio, head of the guard and one of the most upbeat people Matthew had ever met. He was dressed casually today, like he too had been summoned right out of bed. Yet how he naturally made the tousled hair look attractive in a way that inspired envy.

And to the left of the king, Matthew's steps stumbled.

"Good morning!" Francis called, walking over to kiss his cheeks. Wrapping an arm around him he directed his free hand towards the two remaining seated at the table. "I wanted to introduce you to our new guest! He will be staying with us for a while. Gilbert, I'd like you to meet Matthew."

Barely recognizable without his usual leather jackets, Gilbert looked more like someone's assistant. Black trousers, a white collard shirt, and a fuscha tie that brought out the colour of his eyes. Gone was the tail that would have otherwise given him away. The grin was exactly the same and as he joined them he slyly winked in Matthew's direction when Francis wasn't looking. "Nice to meet ya." He held out his hand.

Matthew had no words as he shook the hand offered to him. With the other he self consciously drew the edges of his robe closer together in the front. What was the joker up to?

"No need to be shy," Francis encouraged giving his shoulders a squeeze. "Gilbert was recently promoted to security and Antonio and I approve of him." Antonio now the only person remaining seated and at his name being mentioned waved and went back to his plate, a reminder that Matthew's own food was growing cold back in his room while they did this.

"If you need anything, this is who you call. He knows everything about this castle. You'd think he's been here a century, not a couple years." Matthew could only smile weakly, still within the clutches of the King of Diamonds and unable to escape the attention. It wasn't that hard when every Ace before him had found a way into the castle and when it came to his turn the halls were familiar and he had never gotten lost. "Why don't you give him a tour this morning? Help him settle in."

"Yes, I-"

"Thank you, Matthew," Francis pecked his cheek and dismissed them.

Matthew gave a slight bow. "Follow me please, Mr. Gilbert." Francis, at least, seemed pleased and as Gilbert also gave a little bow he waved them away.

"Have fun! We will go over your assignments later."

The doors shut behind them leaving them in a mostly empty hallway. Only staff and a few others of the Chosen were milling about at this hour. Matthew smiled and shared a few pleasantries, but when they were far enough away from the hall he grabbed Gilbert and dragged him into an empty room and shut the door. "What are you doing?"

"I thought I was getting a tour."

"You know what I mean!" He pressed his ear against the wood and held still for a moment. "What if you're caught?"

He grinned. "You really think I could?"

Matthew crossed his arms. "What are you doing here?" His expression didn't break, no matter how funny Gilbert attempted to be.

The joker huffed. "Okay, I'm here to help Diamonds."

"What's wrong with it?"

"I figured you know better than me. Come on." The joker climbed onto the back of a chair breaking any illusions of his disguise when he was able to perch without off balancing it. Like that, Matthew considered, he resembled a large, very strange looking, bird. "You know as much as I do that there's something off here."

He couldn't disagree. There was something that constantly unsettled him whenever he walked the halls of the castle or spent days down in the port city. It was difficult feeling to explain. A sort of uneasiness in his stomach that would have him looking over his shoulder or jumping at shadows. But that could have been anything.

"I knew you knew."

"Stop," Matthew closed his eyes and rubbed his fingers along his temples. Being Ace had the perks of vast amounts of knowledge of the country's history, but the downside was the headaches every time he attempted to access it. "Where would we even start?" A memory of a predecessor filtered forward. She had felt the same once before. "Something's wrong with one of the royals?"

"I've been thinking Francis," Gilbert said, one hand on his chin. "Have you seen how many people he has here to sleep with? That's weird."

"Or," Matthew interjected, his face feeling warm, "it could be the queen? Lily has been sick for a long time."

"Or it could be Lily," Gilbert repeated at a grumble.