#victoria.writes

[theother-victoria]

all stars must die one day

SYNOPSIS: it’s always been him- stupidly perfect and handsome Alhaitham who you saw as the bane of your academic achievements. Three years later and now so much has changed. He misses you. He misses your endless bickering and meaningless fights. Why did you change so much? It’s a mystery he makes up his mind to resolve.

CHARACTERS: Alhaitham, gossip circle consisting of Kaveh, Tighnari, and Lisa + the rest of the Sumeru cast

TAGS: heavy angst w/fluff, academic burnout, burnt-out gifted kid, mild profanity, gn reader, reader is briefly mentioned to be shorter than Alhaitham, toxic family dynamics, 15.7k+ word count

NOTES: college decisions and my experiences from the past two years really compelled me to write this. If you’re going through burnout, know that you’re not alone and that you can do this.

this took me almost half a year to finish wtf

NEXT | LAST

There’s a comet that crosses Sumeru’s skies only once in a lifetime. 

Alhaitham had heard some Rtawahsit students discussing it the other day. They were practically buzzing with excitement over the news of its reappearance.

“Isn’t this the perfect opportunity?”

“How lucky are we to be able to witness it?”

“Even our professors are excited about it!”

Alhaitham couldn’t care less. The phenomena of celestial events, while dazzling, are easily explained by science. It’s not like they were anything special either. At their heart, they’re composed of ordinary materials- rock, dust, water, and ice, plus other chemicals. 

He puts it out of his mind until he’s rudely awoken one night by loud noises outside the window. A flash of annoyance runs through him as he gets up and looks out to glare at the crowd of students passing through. A glance at their berets tells him they’re Rtawahsit students. They’re trying their best to be quiet, but when it’s practically an entire Darshan on the move, that becomes a difficult task. 

It seems as if he’s not the only one that was woken up. Other familiar faces are peeking through cracked-open windows. Lisa, Cyno, and Tighnari all yawn while watching the crowd of students pass by before looking at each other and following them. Kaveh, who has just woken up from his spot across the room, gives Alhaitham one last look before leaving.

Alhaitham closes the window and flops back onto his bed. He covers his ears with his pillow and closes his eyes, attempting to fall back asleep. He never cared for what other people thought or did, so why should he blindly follow the crowd? He wasn’t even curious anyway.

But for some strange reason, he can’t seem to fall asleep. He tosses and turns, squeezing his eyes shut in frustration, before finally getting up to put his restless mind at ease. 

It’s easy to figure out where everyone has gone. All he has to do is follow the sounds of chatter. It leads him to the top of the Divine Tree the city is built upon. There, Rtawahsit students are busy setting up their telescopes while others have pen and paper at their disposal for note-taking. Professors guide said students while those from other Darshans watch on in curiosity and gaze at the sky in anticipation. 

Tighnari and the others beckon him over. He squeezes himself into the secluded corner they claimed for themselves, poking Kaveh with his limbs intentionally in the process. To his surprise, you’re there too. You lean against Lisa’s arm and shoot him a little glare that lacks any real hate before turning back to the sky, glaring at him when he decides to sit in front of you and block your view. 

“Look!” shouts a student. “It’s started!”

Almost immediately, everybody goes silent. Only the sounds of birds and wildlife can be heard, along with the quiet breathing of everyone searching wildly for it.

(He’s acutely aware of the warm puffs of air that tickle the back of his neck when you exhale. It shouldn’t be this distracting, but it is. Is this your way of getting back at him?)

There’s an excited gasp from a girl with her telescope. She wildly gestures toward the sky and Alhaitham sees a bright speck of light out of the corner of his eye. Several smaller meteors zip through the sky, but everybody’s attention is on the largest one. It outshines all the other stars in the sky as it speeds by, heating up into a white-hot glow and leaving a glittering trail of blue stardust behind. It is a star not of this world, speeding onward toward its destination- toward something greater. 

“Look,” he hears Lisa whisper. He briefly tears his attention from the sky to see her lean toward you. “Make a wish.”

Alhaitham sees you close your eyes for a moment before opening them again. What did you just wish for?

It’s gone in just a few minutes, heading toward the horizon until not even a pinprick of its light can be seen anymore. The sky is now dark again. With the main event over, most people begin getting up to return to their rooms. His eyes linger on your form, now walking away. Lisa’s voice from earlier repeats in his head.

“Make a wish.”

It’s a childish belief not rooted in reason- he knows that. But for just a second, he closes his eyes and makes a wish. 

He met you at the start of his first year. 

It’s too loud here. I want to go home already.

From his seat in the back of the room, he watches as spots gradually fill up as the start time draws nearer. Much to his delight, everybody leaves his spot in the back of the classroom alone, instead opting to sit toward the front. 

That is until someone sits down in the row in front of him. He looks up from the pages of his book, slightly annoyed. Curses, now he couldn’t be by himself anymore. But they leave him alone and keep to themselves as the professor walks in and introduces himself and the class, so he tolerates it. 

There’s a light tap on his desk. He looks up to see you watching him expectantly. He’s able to get his first good look at you now. Your Akademiya uniform is a little too big on you and the sleeves drape over your hands. Your green hat sits lopsidedly on your head and you have the air of a starry-eyed and enthusiastic first-year student. 

“Yes?” 

“The professor told us to introduce ourselves to those around us,” you explain. “I’m (Name).”

“Alhaitham. Pleased to meet you.”

You nod in response and turn back around. Your professor is explaining the course and handing the syllabus out, but your mind wanders toward the guy sitting behind you whom you’ve just met. 

He’s cute, you think to yourself. In like, a little kid or puppy kind of way. He’s still a little short and scrawny- wait, how old is he anyway? Don’t tell me he’s one of those child prodigies that got in at a super young age… Or maybe he’s just a late bloomer, who knows? 

A few weeks later, the results of your first test roll around. The 98 scribbled and circled in red ink at the top of the paper makes you nod in satisfaction. It’s indicative of a good start, but when you take a look at the board in front of the class, you see someone has gotten a perfect score. 

And it turns out the culprit himself sits right behind you. 

You glare at the 100% in red ink at the top of his page as if it has personally offended you. As if to further insult you, there was a small “good job!” written in the margins by the professor that you didn’t have on your paper. 

“A 98? Good, but not perfect. Perhaps you should have studied more,” he nonchalantly remarks after seeing yours. Your eye twitches in irritation.

Oh, it is so on. 

From that day onward, you swore to yourself that you would beat Alhaitham, no matter what it took. Even if it meant sleepless nights spent hunched over your notes and textbooks, they were all a price you were willing to pay to prove that you were the undisputed best. 

Soon after, you don’t see Alhaitham in class anymore. His seat behind you is left unoccupied and you hear rumors that he opted for self-study instead- whatever that was. Despite that, he still gets top marks in everything, only serving to annoy you and spur you onward. 

However, you still see him at the library, and frequently at that. It’s somewhat surprising, considering that the Akasha Terminal has the same function and is more convenient. As a result, the library is mostly empty save for the few students that are there to study materials that aren’t entered into the Akasha’s database. You’re there because you prefer the quiet, focused environment of the library to your dorm, which despite the Akademiya and its students' almost religious devotion to academics, can get a little too rowdy for your liking at times. Plus, you prefer the feeling of a physical book in your hands over its digitized counterpart in the Akasha. It makes it easier to take notes and learn that way. 

Recently, you’ve found a spot in the library that you’ve taken a liking to. It’s located in the back and obscured by bookshelves, giving you some much-needed privacy while you study and it’s located by a window, allowing for ample natural light.

But apparently, someone else has already claimed it, unbeknownst to you. 

“This is my spot.”

You don’t even look up from your book. The voice alone was a dead giveaway as to who was speaking. 

“And? I didn’t see your name on it.”

Alhaitham sits at the seat across from you, purposefully spreading his books and other materials across the desk to push yours off to the side. A satisfied smirk twitches at the corners of his lips when he sees your eyes narrow in irritation. 

“Are you here just to bother me?”

“If I wanted to bother you, I’d find other ways to do it.” 

You huff in annoyance and turn the page. He watches you over the top of his book with intrigue as you alternate between reading and taking notes. 

“... Will you quit staring at me like that? It’s distracting.”

“Oh? So you’re admitting that I’m a distraction?”

“You-!”

A sharp hiss to be quiet from a librarian passing by silences you both temporarily. You glare at him accusingly, which he merely brushes off.

There’s a reluctant compromise that arises between you after that. Every day after class, you would meet at the same spot in the library to study. You would sit across from each other and work independently from each other until it was time to go, where you’d then say your goodbyes before heading your separate ways. Rinse and repeat and that was what your average day looked like. 

“So, what’s up with that thing between you and (Name)?”

You pause from your studying after overhearing that line and look up. Across the clearing are Alhaitham and a blond-haired man. Kaveh, if you recall his name correctly. 

“I don’t know what you’re trying to imply,” replies Alhaitham. 

“Is there some sort of competition between you two? Whenever I see you guys, you’re basically at each other’s throats over test scores and stuff.”

“There is no such competition. That would be a pointless waste of my time and energy.” 

The urge to throw your book at his head across the clearing is strong, but you’ll settle for Kaveh giving him a doubtful expression.

“You say that and yet you’ve been putting more work into your studies than ever.” 

“That’s none of your business.” 

But for all your efforts, you can’t seem to catch up to him. He was always one step- or rather, one point- ahead of you. He’d always be there, subtly rubbing his achievements right in your face even though the difference is practically negligible at least half of the time. 

It gets to the point where you begin to rant about your troubles to Lisa. 

“Can you believe this guy? It makes me wonder if he’s a sadist of some sort that gets a kick out of annoying me.” 

You’re sitting outside in one of the many gazebos around the Akademiya. Despite studying under a different Darshan, you quickly became friends with her.

She laughs lightly at your words.

“To me, it sounds like your poor heart is troubled! Shall doctor Lisa perform a checkup on you?”

You swat her hand away.

“Don’t play with me like that. And you’re not even an Amurta student!”

You hear footsteps coming down the pathway and speak of the devil, the topic of your conversation is walking toward you, his book in hand as always. You watch him out of the corner of your eye. He meets your gaze and holds it for several long, agonizing seconds before looking forward again and disappearing out of sight. You shudder and look away, Lisa chuckling lightly at your actions.

“Asshole,” you grumble. “What’s his problem? And did you see how cold his eyes were? Makes me wonder if the rumors of him having a heart of ice are true…” 

Lisa hesitates at that. 

“I’m afraid that’s where you’re wrong, (Name).”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

She purses her lips and looks off to the side. 

“It’s hard to explain, even for me. But you’ll see and come to understand in due time how acutely aware he is of the emotions of those around him, especially those he is close to.”

You think you understand the meaning of her words a few weeks later when the results of a particularly rough test greet you.

75%

Damn it, you think before roughly shoving the papers into your bag, away from the prying eyes of your classmates. I can’t falter here now. I still have so much more to do.

“I can tutor you if you’d like. I don’t offer this to just anyone, so I’d advise you to consider it,” Alhaitham says in the library later that day. You know that most people would kill for this opportunity and you weren’t blinded by jealousy to the point where you couldn’t see the benefit of his offer. 

But your pride prevents you from accepting it.

“Thanks, but I’m fine. I’d rather do this myself.” 

Another time, Alhaitham has to get up at a time when he should be asleep. Earlier that day, he had left a book of his behind and forgotten about it until now, leaving him to search the now-dark and empty halls of the Akademiya for where it might be. 

He happens to pass by the House of Daena on the way and sees a solitary lamp lit in the back corner where he usually frequents. Out of sheer curiosity, he steps inside to see there’s a familiar figure hunched over the desk, clearly fast asleep with piles upon piles of books and notes stacked around them. 

Alhaitham gazes down at you with his ever-impassive eyes, silently wondering what to do next. A cold gust of air blows through the library and he shivers slightly. He looks down at your exposed arms, then at his jacket, before taking it off and draping it over your form. Catching a cold would serve you no good and you’d most likely return it to him later tomorrow. 

Before he leaves, his curiosity gets the better of him and he takes a quick peek at your notes. 

His eyes widen ever so slightly. Much of the material scattered around your desk was far ahead of what you were and needed to be learning. Did you borrow these books and notes from upperclassmen? The handwriting is a mix of yours and someone else’s… He doesn’t see the point in you doing so- it’s all just unnecessary work, in his opinion. Either way, it’s none of his business and you can do as you please, but Alhaitham can’t help but wonder if you were doing all of this just to stay ahead- to keep up or even surpass him.

He leaves and you wake up soon after to something warm and soft covering your shoulders. It’s a standard Akademiya-issued jacket for the fall and winter terms. It’s way too big on you and the sleeves completely cover your hands. Curiously, you pull it tighter around your form. It smells nice- like old books and coffee- and you suddenly realize who it belongs to. Your face suddenly flushes and it’s not from the warmth of the jacket.

Alhaitham-!

The next day, Alhaitham arrives at his usual spot in the library. You’re sitting across from him as usual and interestingly refuse to make eye contact with him.

Sumeru’s climate has always been temperate, but the days are getting longer and warmer now. You’ve finally shed your winter uniform for your spring one and with the end of the year rapidly approaching comes major tests. The library is the most packed it's ever been with students everywhere cramming last-minute. It’s rare to find an empty table now, but thankfully your spot in the back with Alhaitham is still left unoccupied. If not, Alhaitham’s cold glare is more than enough to scare them away. 

For one of your classes, it’s a project instead of a test. You have the option to choose the type of project, but for some stupid reason, your professor was still assigning partners instead of being able to choose.

“And (Name), let’s see… hmm, I’ll pair you up with Alhaitham. How does that sound?”

Your blood runs cold and you hear your classmates snicker around you. You want to scream at the prospect of it. Sumeru would sooner freeze over before the two of you cooperate and he knows it. You catch him staring at you out of the corner of your eye, daring you to say no. 

You swallow your pride and nod. The tips of your ears burn and at that moment, you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole. 

“... That sounds fine.”

How humiliating.

Later that day in the library, he’s even more infuriating than normal, if that’s even possible. His face betrays nothing but you can hear the smugness dripping from his voice and mannerisms. His arms crossed in front of his chest, the way he would subtly look down on you with that know-it-all gaze… it all made you want to punch his (handsome) face. 

“Don’t fall behind now,” he says once you’ve finally settled on a project.

“Let’s see if you can even keep up with me.” 

Your project is relatively straightforward but involves a lot of cooperation between you two. As you work, it becomes an all-too-common sight to see you arguing everywhere you go, much to the irritation of others.

“I’m telling you, this character has to be symbolic of rebirth! Why else would we see it so concentrated in scripts that were dated toward the end of that civilization?”

“You seem to be forgetting that this has also been seen elsewhere. Besides, there are reasons to believe that it means something else.”

“What, did it get lost in translation? If you think you’re so smart, then go ahead and enlighten me.” 

You glare at him as he sips his coffee (with milk and two sugars, you note. Just the way he likes it). 

“God, can they just kiss already?” grumbles Kaveh from where he sits across the room. Lisa and Tighnari sitting at the same table nodded in agreement.

“Meeting up to work outside of class is normal, but over lunch? Sounds like a date to me,” complains Tighnari while not-so-subtly eyeing the way you animatedly bicker with him. 

“Hey, isn’t this Alhaitham’s treat as well?” asks Kaveh. Tighnari’s ears twitch and perk up at his question. He glances at the both of you- Alhaitham just paused to ask if you’d like a refill of your tea, and you said yes- before groaning.

“It sure looks like it…”

Lisa decides to take matters into her own hands.

“Are you two arguing or flirting?” she asks in a loud voice.

“Arguing!” you retort. Alhaitham merely rolls his eyes and steals one of your samosas while you aren’t looking. 

“I saw that! Give it back!”

“Too late.” 

Two months, lots of bickering, and lots of coffee later, you present the culmination of your work to the class. For all the headaches and lost sleep you had to endure, your efforts are handsomely rewarded with a perfect score and rare compliments from your professor. And for that alone, it was well worth everything you went through. 

“Good job. It was a rewarding experience working with you. I daresay that our arguments aside, we make for a decent team.” 

You look up to see Alhaitham.

“Oh? A rare compliment from the stoic and sharp-tongued man himself?”

“Don’t make me retract my words.”

“Ouch, how cold of you.” 

When you return to your dorm later that night, there’s a note addressed to you from Lisa.

I overheard one of your professors talking about you and Alhaitham with someone else today- Professor Behnam, I think that was his name? I’m fairly sure this was after you guys presented because they mentioned that briefly. I wrote this down in a hurry as they were speaking, but here’s what he said:

They complement each other perfectly. While they both have unmatched erudition and wit, one has the creativity and uninhibited ambition the other tends to lack. However, he is more pragmatic and logical. Despite their differences, they make for a perfect team.

They will surely be among some of the best scholars the Akademiya has seen in a long time.

You end your first year tied for the top of the class with him.

“I’m home!”

“Welcome home, (Name)! How were your last few weeks at the Akademiya?”

Your parents’ home is as warm and welcoming as always. The house has been freshly cleaned and is practically shining. They take your bags and usher you into the kitchen, where your favorite dishes are sitting on the kitchen table, freshly cooked for dinner with steam still rising from them.

“It’s been fine,” you say. “Stressful, but also enjoyable. I like my classes and I get along with my classmates and professors.” 

“How are your grades? Have they been finalized yet?”

You nod and beam them with pride.

“Ended the year at the top of the class.”

Your parents’ eyes widen and they clap excitedly.

“That’s our child!”

“As brilliant and talented as always!”

“Good, keep going! Remember to study for money!”

“I will!”

Your mother leans in close and clasps your hand in hers. “After these four years, you should continue your education and become a sage! Maybe even work your way up and become the next Grand Sage!”

You balk at the prospect of it.

“A-A sage? Mom, there are tons of talented people in the Akademiya- that’s where the best of the best go to study! The chances that I’ll make it to that point are slim!”

Your father clicks his tongue and shakes his head. 

“Nonsense!” he exclaims. “You ended this year at the top of your class, you know. Besides, you inherited the intelligence of both your parents- I’d imagine that this would be a doable task for you. Also, imagine how amazing it would be if you were to become a sage! You’d be the first one in the family! Wouldn’t that be such an achievement for us?”

“That’s not even true! There was someone else who tied with me for the top of the class as well and if I’m being honest, he has a better shot at it than me!”

Your mom’s eyes sharpen and you instantly regret saying that. 

“He? So… a guy, huh?”

You mentally brace yourself for a barrage of questions.

“What’s his name? What’s he like? How smart is he? Is he good enough for you? Does he have-”

“Dear, stop it,” your father says. “Look, you’re overwhelming them.”

You sigh and shake your head. “For starters, his name is Alhaitham-”

“Alhaitham? I’ve heard that name somewhere before… wait, I remember now!” exclaims your father. “His grandmother was a Ksharewar scholar. His mother was a renowned Vahumana scholar and his father was a mentor in Haravatat.”

“Was?” you ask. Your father bites his lip and looks away.

“... His grandmother passed away a few years ago and from what I heard, so did his parents when he was young.” 

“Oh.” 

The kitchen is silent for a few moments before your father breaks it.

“Wait, (Name), why do you look so surprised? I thought you knew this already, considering he’s your rival and everything! I thought you would at least know something about him.”

“Dad, that’s exactly the point- we’re rivals and I don’t want to know anything about him! All that matters is beating him at his own game and that’s that. Besides, he never tells me anything about his personal life, so why should I do the same?”

“They’re right, you know.”

Your father merely rolls his eyes at your mother’s remark. 

“You know the rules, don’t get too close to him now,” your mother warns. “You have to do whatever it takes to be the best, whatever? That’s what you promised us.”

You roll your eyes. “Yes, mom, I know. I’ll do my best to become a sage.”

Your parents lean in to hold you close, your mother giving you a soft kiss on the forehead.

“That’s our child. Make us proud, ok?”

“I will!”

After a lovely three months of summer vacation (and not being forced to see Alhaitham every day save for the rare occasions where you’d run into him in public- you’d immediately turn the other way and act as if nothing happened), you head back to the Akademiya for your second year. Like last year, you share many of your classes with the bane of your existence, although things are… less tense than they were before. The underlying spark of competition is still there, but not as prominent as before.

Alhaitham is pleasantly surprised at how you’ve mellowed out over the summer. Something in your eyes has hardened and the way your mouth is set is different now. You’ve lost some of the baby fat in your cheeks (shame, he enjoyed poking and prodding at them, much to your annoyance) and you’ve grown a bit taller as well. He’s grown taller as well and to your irritation, he’s gaining on you. He’s put on some muscle as well and according to Kaveh, who you befriended over the summer, he’s started learning the art of the sword.

(“What for?” you had asked back then. He had merely shrugged.

“Too much free time on his hands, I guess. I thought he was training to be a mercenary at first.”

“I just can’t imagine him with a sword. In my mind, I see him toppling over from the weight of it.”

“Same here.”)

On the first day back, you merely greet him with a nod and you’re less opposed to working with him than before- although you can’t seem to break the habit of making a sarcastic jab at him now and then.

As the year progresses though, Alhaitham notices a change in you- namely, your test scores. He catches a glimpse of them sticking out of your folder at the library.

85%. 75%. 83%. 79%. They’re not as good as they were last year but they aren’t a concern for Alhaitham. As far as he knows, you’re still doing good overall and your classes are getting harder. It’s only reasonable and he hasn’t observed any noticeable or drastic changes in your personality, so it doesn’t warrant any concern. 

That is, in his eyes. The same can’t be said for you though.

You didn't realize how much time you had spent studying until the library was closed one day. Sitting at your cramped desk with your roommate you barely know nowhere in sight, you’re suddenly aware of how quiet it is. Normally, you’d hear at least something- people arguing down the hall and music playing, among others. But today, it was eerily silent. 

From the back of your mind, you recall news of a party that was supposed to be happening around this time. Lisa extended an invitation to you but you turned it down, claiming that you had to study. It was a bullshit excuse, now that you think about it. 

(Lisa had looked at you knowingly when you said that, but not in a good way. Worry was present in her eyes, resigned to the fact that she couldn’t do anything.

“Alright,” she had said. “Just… don’t head down the path I think you’re on.”)

Your pen freezes mid-stroke as a horrifying thought crosses your mind. You now finally understand the true meaning of her words. 

Have I… been making the right decisions? How much have I missed out on? 

Your books and the allure of good grades tempt you, but you force yourself to evaluate your life so far. You have some of the highest marks in the entire class but you realize you have almost no experience or connections, and that was what really mattered.

All of the studying in the world can’t compare to pulling a few strings, after all.  

Not long after the year starts, Alhaitham notices that you’ve started going out more. You’re spending less of your time at the library during weekends and instead spending time with friends in the city. 

(“You actually have a life outside of the Akademiya. I’m surprised.”

“I should be the one telling you that.”)

 “Come on, (Name), come join us at the tavern tonight! We booked the place and everyone is going to be there! You’re missing out if you don’t, just saying…”

The familiar voice belonging to a certain blond makes you look up. You huff a sigh and set your notes down to glare at Kaveh, who has been pestering you to go to a party at Lambad’s Tavern tonight. You’re about to tell him you’re not interested when you stop just short of saying so.

Will I regret saying no?

“(Name), you’re young right now! Take some risks and live life a little, otherwise, you’ll have nothing to look back fondly on once you’re all old and wrinkly! That old dusty rock-of-a-friend Alhaitham would say the same thing, you know… although, maybe he’d phrase it differently.”

Kaveh’s right, you realize. I can make up a test. I can always study later. But I’m only young for a little while. I can’t make up for lost time. 

“Just curious- what’s in it for me?”

“Oh, the usual. Free food, entertainment, a break from these stupid books, alcohol- oh, and you might get to see a rare drunk Alhaitham there! Doesn’t that sound exciting?”

“No need to venture into that territory. You already had me at the free food part. So, what time?”

Later that evening at the tavern, you realize Kaveh wasn’t kidding when he said everyone was going to be there- he really did mean everyone the moment you step inside. Lisa is the center of attention with wide-eyed students gawking at her alcohol tolerance- seriously, how is she not drunk yet?- while Tighnari stands in the corner with his ears folded over and eyes squeezed shut. Cyno’s glare is more than enough to scare anyone away as he leads the fox hybrid upstairs toward a quieter spot. 

There’s enough alcohol being passed around to knock a Sumpter Beast unconscious. You only have a few drinks, not wanting to be hungover on a weekday. At one point, a familiar voice drifts its way over to you.

“(Name), over here!”

It’s Kaveh, and… Alhaitham next to him is drunk from the looks of it? His face is flushed and he stumbles as he walks with Kaveh being the only thing stopping him from faceplanting onto the floor. 

“I thought Alhaitham could handle his alcohol?” you ask as you sling one of his arms around your shoulder and make your way out the tavern. 

“He does, but he tried a new type of alcohol tonight that was stronger than he expected. Fire-something… it’s from Snezhnaya, if that explains anything.”

You glance at his heavily flushed face again and sigh.

“Yeah, that explains everything.”

After lugging Alhaitham across Sumeru City and up the many steps leading to the Akademiya, you’re prepared to say goodnight to Kaveh and head back to your dorm when you feel something latch onto your shirt. It’s Alhaitham and even in his drunken stupor, he’s surprisingly strong.  

“Wait.”

“What is it?” you ask after a moment of hesitation. His answer is instant.

“Don’t go,” he slurs out. 

He’s drunk, you remind yourself. Don’t take anything he says at face value.

But even so, you spot the opportunity to tease him. 

“Oh? And why is that?”

“Because… you’re one of my only friends.”

You go quiet at that. Nothing could have prepared you for that response. Every witty remark and sarcastic jab you had prepared on the tip of your tongue fizzled out instantly. Even Kaveh, who has no shortage of words when it comes to Alhaitham, falls silent. 

In the year or so that you’ve known Alhaitham for, he’s never been one to get close with people, instead preferring to keep them at arm’s length. Most likely, it’s the alcohol inhibiting his filter, but you can’t ignore the little flutter in your stomach at his words. 

“I guess you are one to me as well, Haitham. I-”

“Say that again.”

His sudden demand makes you pause. Despite his drunken state, there’s a fire in his eyes that briefly makes you question whether he’s sober.

“... I guess you are one-”

He stops you. “No. Not that. Repeat what you said at the very end of it.”

“Haitham?”

“Call me that again.”

“Haitham.”

“Again.”

A smile creeps onto your face now that you’ve finally caught on. How cute. 

“Haitham.”

“Again.”

And secretly inside, you’re happy. Happy that someone considers you a friend for the first time. You no longer feel dehumanized from idolization or isolated from everyone else and you realize it’s what you’ve been secretly wishing for this whole time. 

“Goodnight, Haitham.”

It’s now a common occurrence between you two to drag each other to activities on the weekends. One day, it’s Alhaitham camping out with you late at night to go stargazing. (“(Name), this is boring.” “You can go home if you want. I won’t stop you.” “Hmph.”) Another day, it’s him inviting you to the various coffee shops throughout the city and sampling their beverages. (“The shop we went to last week does a pour-over better.” “You think so too?”)

Another time, you’re heading back to the Akademiya after a day of shopping and playing Genius Invocation (he lost miserably several times in a row to you, much to his embarrassment). It’s been overcast the whole day and the air has been humid but you nervously brushed off the weather’s warning signs.

Something wet lands on your cheek. You blink and look up, then at the ground where raindrops are rapidly dotting the surface. You meet Alhaitham’s gaze, the rising panic in your eyes apparently visible because he pulls you toward the souvenir shop, where you both seek shelter against the escalating downpour. Sheets of rain crash against the ground and the sides of buildings and the gusts of wind make the trees sway violently. 

(You both, like idiots, forgot to bring your umbrellas. In the middle of Sumeru’s rainy season.) 

You can barely see past your two feet but you can make out something moving nearby, and it’s getting closer. Small, gray, and most definitely sopping wet, it’s… a cat?

The small creature pauses and runs as fast as it can toward you. You take your hat off and scoop it up, where it meows pitifully and sneezes. A quick check tells you that the cat is a girl. 

“(Name), what-”

“Look, Haitham,” you whisper as you shrug your jacket off and dry the cat. “Poor baby must have gotten stranded and lost in the rain. She came running to us for help.”

The cat shakes off the last of the rain clinging to her fur and now you can see that she resembles Alhaitham quite a bit with her gray fur and green eyes. You wonder if she has his attitude as well… 

“I wonder if she’s someone’s pet cat that ran away.” 

“She’s probably one of the city’s many strays. I don’t see a collar on her.”

“She’s well-fed for one…” you grumble, noting her plump belly. “So, can we keep her?”

“(Name), you know animals, unless they’re service animals, are not allowed in Akademiya dorms.”

“That hasn’t stopped people though. Someone on my floor snuck their pet cat into the dorms and it’s an open secret among all of us.”

“But still-”

And then you hit him with puppy eyes. The edges of your mouth quiver and turn down, while your eyes soften and go wide. 

“Please?”

His resolve crumbles instantly.

“Fine. But you’re keeping it.”

You sheepishly smile. “About that…”

What now?

“My roommate is a blabbermouth and a stickler for the rules. If I kept her, she would be gone and back on the streets before noon tomorrow.”

“Are you suggesting that I take care of her?”

“Are you against it?”

“Taking care of an animal is a big responsibility, (Name). One that requires time and-”

“I can help you take care of her. With the two of us looking after her, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“I can’t tell if you’re being optimistic or oversimplifying the problem here.” 

You roll your eyes and Alhaitham looks off to the side.

“I’ll have to ask Kaveh-”

“Kaveh would be over the moon at the prospect of you bringing home a cat. You know how much he loves animals. This cat will be in good hands under his and our care.” 

Looks like he now has no other choice but to say yes. He heaves a deep sigh and looks back up at you.

“Fine. I’ll keep her in my room.” 

Your face lights up.

“But first, we need to give her a name.” 

You scrunch your brows and think for a moment.

“How about Thamina?”

“Thamina,” he repeats. “Meaning valuable or priceless. It fits well.” 

You become a frequent visitor to Kaveh and Alhaitham’s dorm after that. It gets to the point where Alhaitham gives you his copy of the spare key so you could come and go as you please (to which Kaveh gives him a knowing look that he pointedly ignores for his own sake). At first, you primarily visited to take care of Thamina, but at some point, you began visiting primarily for him. 

Study sessions slowly move from the House of Daena to his room, with him at his desk and you sitting on his bed. Thamina bears witness to the heated debates shared between you two in the late hours of the night and the quiet moments of studying. Alhaitham is there to keep her company throughout the day, but she patiently waits for you after a long day of classes. She watches as you two steal each other’s belongings and food (occasionally joining in if she smelled fish in the box you brought home from a late-night dinner). When there is a disagreement between you two, she’s there to help you reconcile in the form of demanding affection and cuddles. 

But when she and Kaveh are fast asleep, only you two are privy to the heavy conversations that happen once and are never brought up again. 

“Tell me more about your family, Haitham.” 

He freezes, then casts a suspicious glance at you over his shoulder.

“Where is this question coming from? And why?”

You shrug.

“I just wanted to know more about the people that raised you to become the person you are today.”

“... My grandmother raised me,” he says after a moment of hesitation. “I admittedly don’t know much about my parents- only that my mother was a renowned Vahumana scholar and my father was a mentor in Haravatat. They both died in an accident, thus leaving me under my grandmother’s care.”

You make yourself comfortable on his bed and nod, urging him to continue. 

“My grandmother was a Kshahrewar scholar. By the time I was born, she had already retired. As such, she had a lot of free time. We did a lot of things together.”

He pauses to recount his fading memories of her. 

“She liked to bake. Her desserts were on the sweeter side, but I have the recipes. I can tweak them so they’re less sweet for you.”

“I’d like that very much.”

“She liked to cook as well. I’d often wake up to the smell of food in the kitchen and she’d be there at the stove. She’d make my favorites and always save most of it or the best parts for me. Unlike with baking, she never used any recipes for her cooking. I’ve tried to imitate her dishes, but it’s never exactly the same as I remember.”

Haitham’s bed is comfy, you note. You pull the covers over yourself, feeling your eyelids grow heavier. 

“Were you a chubby child who was spoiled by grandma?” you tease.

“Yes,” he admits. 

You giggle. “I wish I could have seen you as a kid, chubby cheeks and all.” 

There are baby photos his grandma kept that he now has, but he’ll never tell you that. 

“Like you, she was more of a tea person than a coffee person. She liked hers sweetened while I liked mine more plain. She never knew where she left her reading glasses and she’d always ask me to find them. When I was younger, she’d read a bedtime story to me every night. If there was nothing we were doing, I’d spend the whole day on her lap as she read the books of my choosing aloud to me. One of the last things she told me was that I was so similar to my father, both in nature and appearance. And more than anything else, she was kind.”

“You miss her, don’t you?”

“Yes. I miss her a lot.”

“Your grandma sounds like an amazing person,” you sleepily mumble. “I would have liked to meet her.”

The last thing you hear before finally drifting off is Alhaitham’s whispered response.

“She would have liked to meet you too.”

And the next night, the conversation is equally as heavy.

“Hey, Haitham.”

“What is it?” he whispers back.

“Do you think that.. I don’t know, that I’m not quite who I used to be?”

Alhaitham sets his pen down.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Do you think I’ve changed in more ways than one?”

“Well, you’re less annoying now.”

You give him a well-deserved jab on the bicep with the end of your pen. Much to your annoyance, he doesn’t even flinch and continues. 

“The way I see it, change is inevitable. We all fight and run from it, but it eventually catches up with us. It is neither good nor bad. Rather, it’s what you make of it. But to answer your question, yes. You’ve matured more mentally. You’ve realized there’s more to life now. You’re learning how to live life on your own terms now, aren’t you?’

Your silence tells him everything he needs to know. 

“Tell me, Haitham. What do you wish for?”

Alhaitham is a simple man with few desires. If all his basic needs and simple wants of books and time to himself are met, then he is content. But your question has him thinking. Is there anything else he wants in his life? 

And it turns out the answer is yes. 

“Regardless of how things turn out in the future, I’d like to be able to continue talking to you like this. That’s my wish.”

Kaveh stirs in his sleep. Thamina rolls over and makes biscuits on your lap. A small smile creeps onto your face. You turn away and resume your work. He does the same.

It’s a mundane scene- two Akademiya students pulling another all-nighter to complete their work. And yet… 

Yes, this is what I want, Alhaitham thinks to himself. Everything I could ever want means nothing if you aren’t here. 

The spring semester comes around and with that comes the finals grind. You’ve thrown yourself into your studies in a last-minute attempt to save, in your opinion, your failing grades since you aren’t at the top of your class anymore. (Alhaitham thinks you’re insane- you’re still in the top five.) As if to rub it in your face, you get a letter from your family one day.

We heard that you’re no longer at the top of your class. What happened? 

Your eyes and mind glazed over the rest of the letter until the end.

Study harder. You can end it the same way you did last year if you would spend more time on it. Don’t get distracted now. 

A rare instance of frustration flashes through you and before you know it, you’ve ripped up the letter and tossed it in the trash. 

Who told them that anyway? 

“Lisa… graduated early?”

The news comes to you over dinner one day when you ask where Lisa is upon realizing she’s not there. You’ve just finished all your finals and you want nothing more than to relax and catch up on some sleep, but news regarding your best friend makes you temporarily forget about those plans. 

Cyno nods. “It’s a whole thing now. They’re saying she’s the best student the Akademiya has had in the past 200 years. Once in a generation is what they’re calling her now.”

You bite your lip and look away. A weak “tell her I said congratulations” is all you can get out as envy begins festering deep within you. You’re ashamed of yourself- she’s your best friend, for Archon’s sake, you should be feeling excited for her- but you just can’t.

Why couldn’t it have been me instead? 

You end your second year third in the class, with Alhaitham at the top.

“Welcome home, (Name).”

The house is a little chilly when you step inside. Dinner has already been prepared- it’s sitting on the table- but it looks like it was made some time ago. Your father ushers you into the kitchen, where your mother waits expectantly, her lips stretched into a thin smile when she sees you. 

There are the usual dinnertime conversations- how has your day been? Fine, yours? Same old, same old- but they feel stiffer than usual. It doesn’t flow and you find yourself internally wincing at the heavy silence between you.

“So.”

You pause and look up at your mother, who has finally broken the awkward silence surrounding the kitchen table.

“We heard you… didn’t do so well at the Akademiya this year.” 

You freeze and internally brace yourself for what is to come.

“Only third this year? (Name), you were first last year, how come you couldn’t place first again? That’s not so hard, is it? You just have to put some effort in, stop being so lazy, and you’ll do fine! Besides, it’s only your second year, what could be so difficult about it? We know you’re smart and that you could’ve easily been first again. You’re just getting complacent, that’s all! Do you really want that Alhaitham to beat you at your own game? How humiliating would that be for us? Think of the embarrassment we, your poor mother and father, would face from others in the Akademiya- our golden child (Name), who was once someone people aspired to be, but now nothing but a disappointment!”

“Your mother’s right, (Name),” says your father. “We have high expectations for you, or should I say, had.” 

Their disappointment cuts deep into your soul, yet something quietly snaps inside you. You glare at them one more time before slipping away.

“I’m not hungry anymore. I’ve lost my appetite.”

You go to your childhood room and lock the door behind you. Your parents’ voices- most definitely talking about you- drift up the stairs and you do your best to tune them out. As if to mock you, hanging on the wall across from you are all the awards you won at academic competitions throughout your life. Trophies, ribbons, certificates, and medals line every bit of space available, all of them with your name and a first-place title proudly engraved onto them.

Now that you think about it, were you really happy with being the best? Your younger self would laugh and say “of course!”, but why exactly? 

And then the realization hits you. You personally felt nothing being the best at everything. The title, the fake smiles, and the forced compliments from others- they couldn’t mean less to you.

You were only happy because your parents were happy. Were you ever happy with yourself- with who you were as a person? You don’t know.

Stars live for an incredibly long time, but they too must die out one day. Their reserves of hydrogen gas will inevitably run out and they will either go out with a bang or a fizzle depending on their size. Larger stars go out in a blaze of glory, expanding up to several times their size before exploding and bathing the universe in the remains of their supernova for eons to come, while smaller ones condense from the gravity pushing inward and shrink down into a cold white dwarf, destined to drift across the universe alone for the rest of time. That is your fate, yet you do not know it yet. The last of your fuel has finally been spent, and the end is nigh. Whether you will go out with a bang or fade into obscurity is something only time will tell. 

You’ve had enough of the stifling atmosphere in the house.

It’s only been a few days since summer vacation began and you’re already at your wit’s end. The heavy silence hanging in the air and their passive-aggressive comments toward you make you want to tear your hair out. Or run away. Maybe both. 

There are still lots of days left before you start class again. Surely there’s something you can do until then…

And then it hits you: traveling throughout Sumeru! You were born and raised in the city, but you’ve rarely ventured outside of its borders. This could be a good chance to expand your horizons and gain experience!

So without further ado, you pack your bags, plan a route, and begin your adventures. Most of the time, you’d leave at dawn before your parents woke up and return late at night after they’d fallen asleep. Sometimes, you wouldn’t return for days, instead choosing to camp outside or stay at a friend’s house for a while. From what you’ve heard through your neighbors and friends, your parents don’t seem to care what you’re doing either. Some of your friends even say that they look happier now that you’re out of the house. The notion stings, but you don’t dwell on it for too long.

There’s a strange sense of peace you feel throughout your travels that’s foreign to you. Whether it’s camping out underneath the stars or scaling a rocky cliffside, you’ve never felt more attuned to yourself than now. You gradually discover more about yourself that you otherwise would have never known. You like stargazing even more after seeing the expanse of the night sky and all its stars for the first time without the light pollution of the city. You like to swim, as demonstrated when you dove headfirst into a river for the first time and felt the cool waters wash over your skin. You’re decently skilled with a bow and arrow after Tighnari gives you some lessons and his old bow to keep yourself safe on your travels.

Most importantly, you discover how to find happiness by yourself. After being told your whole life what you could and couldn’t do, being able to take control of your life was a liberating feeling. 

You end up seeing Alhaitham quite a bit during this time. Strangely enough, he was always one of the first people you’d see returning back to Sumeru City. He’d always give you a subtle nod when he noticed you staring at him before leaving. Sometimes, he’d even be there to wish you a safe trip- no, not sometimes- almost all of the time. It’s basically a given that he’ll be there to see you off at this point. How he hears about it every time, you have no idea but you aren’t complaining. 

“Leaving early as always, I see. Where to this time, (Name)?”

You pause from checking your supplies to see Alhaitham standing behind you.

“I’m heading down to Gandharva Ville to spend some time in the rainforest. But you’re up this early just to wish me a safe trip? I didn’t take you for a morning person.”

“I’m not. But someone should see you off each time, and if your parents won’t do it, then I will.”

“Y-You… how did you know?”

“Know what?” he asks while stepping around to help you with your bag. “All I know is that I’ve never seen them send you off or welcome you back.”

“So be it then,” you grumble. “It’s not as if I care.”

So he doesn’t know about our strained relationship yet, you muse to yourself. That’s surprising, considering how big mother and father’s social circle is… 

“You’re all set now. Best you head off before it gets too hot.”

“I will. You take care as well.”

He watches you leave through the city gates until you’re no longer in sight. A rare expression of longing crosses his face then and only after lingering for a few more moments (with his eyes trained on where you once were) does he leave. 

He was lying when he pretended to be unaware of your family situation. When you’re hailed as one of the best scholars in recent times in a land that has a borderline fanatical dedication to academics, everything pertaining to you will be scrutinized and monitored. Your sudden decision to leave Sumeru for extended periods of time, and the way your parents refused to talk about you or changed the topic whenever you came up… it wasn’t hard to put two and two together. 

For your sake, Alhaitham hopes you would return later rather than sooner so you wouldn’t have to hear what was being said about you. 

“You seem to have gotten good at this,” he remarks over coffee and desserts when you return several weeks later. Alhaitham notices you’ve put on some muscle. There are some new scars and the bow slung on your back is an unfamiliar sight as well. “You would be a perfect candidate for the Adventurer’s Guild.” 

You laugh. “Nah, it’s not for me. As much as I enjoy traveling, I don’t think I could earn my living through it, plus I won’t be able to keep it up once I’m all old and wrinkly.”

“Tell me about your adventures though. Where did you go?”

Your eyes light up and you begin rambling excitedly about your travels. You go into great detail about your time spent in the Avidya Forest and your spontaneous decision to travel to Liyue, which catches him off-guard.

“Liyue?” he repeats when you mention it. “So that’s why you were gone for several weeks instead of days. I’ve never been there before. Tell me, what was it like?”

Your smile grows even bigger and your eyes may as well have been stars from how brightly they were shining.

“Oh, you should’ve seen the architecture- actually, wait, I should be telling Kaveh this- but it was so pretty! The food was super good too and a friend I made shared some of her recipes with me. I have a feeling that you’ll like them so I can teach you some other time! Ooh, and you can’t miss the scenery for the world! Personally, my favorite was…”

You’re so caught up in reliving and telling your adventures that you fail to miss the fond look in his eyes and the rare hint of a smile that stretches across his face. 

You’re halfway through recounting your way back home through the Chasm when you happen to glance at the clock and the realization begins to set in.

“I have to get going now,” you explain as you hurriedly gather your belongings. “I’m meeting up with some other friends in a bit. But thanks for the coffee and sweets. Hopefully, I’ll see you around again sometime soon?”

The chime above the door jingles as you rush outside and Alhaitham is left alone with his thoughts. With a deep sigh, he takes a look out the window and decides to address the thoughts about you that have been on his mind lately. 

You’re annoying, there’s no doubt about that. You love to push his buttons and purposefully irritate him. You’re an overachiever and you care too much about what other people think. For the longest time, your whole personality consisted of your academic accomplishments and nothing else. You’re a people pleaser and you long for acceptance and praise from others- two things he thinks are utterly useless coming from other people. The moment someone questions your abilities, regardless of who it is, you begin to second-guess yourself and waver. Ridiculous, in his opinion. You know your worth and skills better than anyone else, so why are you letting their baseless accusations affect you? You’re easily affected by rumors and your self-worth is determined by what others think of you. 

But you have a warm and welcoming demeanor that’s rare in the cutthroat halls of the Akademiya that draws others to you like a moth to a flame. You enjoy traveling and you have a major soft spot for animals, especially cats. Whenever you’re in the city, you always stop to pet all the strays roaming around, no matter how long it takes. You enjoy sweets- not the overly cloying kind, but the ones that have a touch of sweetness to the point where you can just taste it. Your favorite dessert is the Padisarah Pudding sold in the Grand Bazaar and he’s stopped by so often that the vendor knows his name, face, and order by now. You’re more of a tea person than a coffee person, but he has your coffee order memorized just in case (iced, with two sugars, a splash of milk, and rosewater) and he’s the one that has been mysteriously supplying your favorite tea whenever it’s running low. He notices you like to ramble about things you’re passionate about (and he willingly- gladly- listens too). 

And he’s come to realize that maybe you’re not as insufferable as he thought you were. You have a brilliant mind and you’re one of the few that isn’t put off by his blunt nature. You don’t just tolerate him- you appreciate him, flaws and everything. 

You’ve always been envious of him- he’s known that ever since he met you. Because of him, you have strived to prove yourself as better in all aspects. A stupid rivalry is what it started off as with your pride getting the best of both of you. But throughout these three years, you’ve only brought out the best in each other.

At this point, he doesn’t feel complete without you. 

He’s well aware of the question hanging over people’s minds whenever they see the both of you together. You are the sun, the golden child of your parents who are renowned within the Akademiya and held to the highest level of scrutiny. Their judging gazes, eyes that fixate on every move of yours, comments whispered behind your back- you take them all in stride. Meanwhile, Alhaitham’s presence is glossed over when you’re there. To many, he is just another Akademiya student that they will see in passing and forget about immediately. In that aspect, he is the moon that hides from others. Those who were acquainted with his parents or his late grandmother may recognize him and speak with him, but he mostly goes unnoticed and ignored. 

But free from the prying eyes of others, Alhaitham is able to sleep peacefully at night. Your fitful sleep, on the other hand, is plagued with dreams of what-ifs and the looming fear of disappointment from others. You’ve always succeeded, not because you craved success, but because you feared failure and how others would react.

The rising moon admires the sun because of the boundless love they receive from others. On the other hand, the setting sun is envious of the moon for his sweetest dreams that they can only long for.

You enter your third year with a sense of apprehension that wasn’t there before. Your high hopes for yourself are still there, but they’ve been dashed considerably. But despite your lack of ambition now and your experiences from last year, you still (attempt to) throw yourself into your studies, knowing that this year is where the challenge begins. Your first two years were just warmups, or nothing, according to your parents. 

Your first few weeks go well, but before you know it, you find yourself lost and overwhelmed by the material.

I… don’t understand any of this. But how could this be? I’ve spent so much time. 

Your test scores don’t reflect your efforts either.

45%. 50%. 63% 67%. 55%. 38%.

“Damn it!”

You slam your fist onto your desk table as the results of another failed test greet you. You had spent so much time preparing for this one, only for your efforts to be rewarded with a slap to the face. 

You can’t keep going like this. You need help, and desperately at that, but you can’t bring yourself to ask for it. 

You’re smarter than everyone else, you don’t need help, a familiar voice comes into your mind. You’re the pride and joy of our family because of your grades. Don’t let us down now. 

You look out the window, the heat still simmering in your stomach.

“What a load of bullshit.” 

“... I saw your test scores earlier today.” 

You glare at Alhaitham with poison in your gaze that was never there until now. The hairs on the back of his neck stand up and he feels strangely uneasy, like his body is warning him to stop. 

“And? Here to mock me for it?”

“No. On the contrary, I want to offer you my help.” 

Oh, the humiliation. Look at how far you’ve fallen. 

“Forget it,” you snap. “I don’t need your help.”

You get up and leave, slamming the doors shut behind you. It echoes through the House of Daena and the other students there turn to stare at Alhaitham in silent shock. He’s stunned too. Although you can have quite the sharp tongue at times, you’ve never lashed out at him like that before. 

A few weeks later, the results of another test are announced. Alhaitham’s name sits at the top like it always has. His name is on everyone’s tongue as they jealously grumble over the results once again. His eyes examine the list, searching for one name in particular, until he finds yours at the bottom of it.

He pauses, then turns around in time to see you storming out. He doesn’t miss the looks your classmates give you- mocking, ridiculing, scornful, and disgusted sneers that relish in your downfall. The jealous grumbles about him now turn into titters and sneering whispers with your name now being trampled upon by those that used to extol your virtues. It’s all noise and it grates his ears until he can’t stand it anymore.

“What a waste of time.”

The noise stops and everyone turns to look at him. 

“You all have the energy to complain about your own scores while making a laughing stock of someone else. It’d be better spent on improving your own scores- unless you’re just that incompetent?”

Later that night as you’re studying, you get a message from your parents through your Akasha. It’s the first time you’ve gotten anything from them all year. After hesitating, you open the message.

It’s short and simple but your heart sinks and your temper flares after reading it. You rip your Akasha Terminal off and toss it to the side. 

Don’t come home this year. 

“I need your help. I’m asking for a friend.”

Alhaitham looks over his book at you. It’s the first time he’s seen you all week and to be frank, you look awful. Your hair is a mess, your uniform is wrinkled, and your skin looks dry and dull.

“Do I know them? If not, then I won’t help.”

You roll your eyes and throw your hands up exasperatedly.  “Ok fine, yes, you know them.”

“Well, why won’t they just ask me themselves? Why trouble you?”

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter right now. Just answer the damn question.”

He leans back and knowingly looks at you. 

“They’re going through a tough time right now,” you explain, choosing each of your words carefully. “They aren’t doing good in their classes and they’re trying to get back on track, but they don’t know how to.”

“... This is for you, isn’t it?”

Damn, he saw right through you. Were you that obvious?

Alhaitham goes back to reading his book. “I can’t say I would be of any use here. After all, I’ve never been in that position nor would I let myself get there.” 

You feel your temper flare once more. You clench your jaw and try to reign in your anger before speaking to him. 

“Well, duh. You’re also not helping either.”

“Really? I think it’s a perfectly reasonable answer.”

“Put yourself in my shoes for once, would you?”

He sets his book down and looks at you.

“You asked me for my advice and I told you what I would do in that situation. I don’t understand why you’re getting upset.”

“That’s because it’s not the answer I’m looking for!”

“That’s on you for expecting others to somehow know what you want without telling them.”

“You-!”

You groan and run your hands through your hair.  Is it just you or is he being more insufferable today? Can’t he read the room for once? 

He continues. “If you wanted someone to only tell you what you wanted to hear, a mirror would be a better audience.”

“Alhaitham, all I’m asking from you is a little empathy. Is that so hard to have?”

“And is it so hard for you to stop throwing a hissy fit just because I didn’t tell you what you wanted to hear?”

His words are all spite and knives meant to hurt. They lack the usual lighthearted tone he has with you. You feel it coming- the barbed words that are poised to strike and cut deep, but it doesn’t help when he begins speaking again. 

 “You asked for my help and I gave you advice. You’re not in a position to be complaining here.” 

“Yeah, well, your ‘advice’ isn’t what most people would consider as help.”

He scoffs and looks away before looking at you once more- like he’s looking down on you, you realize. There’s something akin to disgust and impatience in his gaze that makes you freeze despite all your sharp words earlier. 

“How irrational could you be? You reject everyone’s help even though you need it and you don’t listen to anybody’s suggestions. You’re too caught up in the conception that you’re always right and everyone else is always wrong. You’re childish, (Name), that’s what you are. You’re like a child still naive and ignorant, content with playing with their toys and games and ignoring reality. You’re not cut out for the Akademiya. You never were.”

He laughs and now you realize just how much it hurts when it’s directed toward you. 

“And you’re telling me that my ego is overinflated. No wonder you’re failing everything. Archons, (Name), you’re utterly hopeless. What did I ever see in you?”

The silence that fills the space afterward is enough to make Alhaitham immediately regret his words. You angrily glare at him and Alhaitham’s heart sinks when he recognizes the emotion present in your eyes.

Utter hate.

“... For all these years, I've heard so many rumors about you but chose to brush them off,” you begin. “I was so stupid! I should have listened to them! They say you’re cold and heartless and only now do I realize that they were right. They say you’re not human from how cruel you are- archons, dammit! Look at me!”

The sudden demand makes Alhaitham nervously glance toward you after avoiding your gaze this entire time. You sniff and wipe away the few tears that managed to spill over. Losing your composure in front of him, the perfect and poised genius, was already humiliating enough, but you hold his gaze long enough to let him see. Let him witness the results of his own actions and the prospect of losing someone he cared about (all over again).

“You’re an absolutely horrible person, Alhaitham. I hope you remember this.”

Alhaitham. It’s the first time you’ve used his full name ever since you befriended him and the implications of it sting. 

He reaches out toward you. “Wait-”

You slap his hand away. 

“No, we’re done here. I thought you could at least understand, but you’re just as uncaring and self-centered as everyone else here. And I once thought that you were better than anyone else here, but only now do I realize how stupid I was."

You laugh sardonically one last time.

“My parents were right. They would have been so much happier if you were their child.”

Alhaitham doesn’t see you again for several weeks after that. It’s as if you’re purposefully avoiding him and it gets to a point where he’s beginning to get concerned about your health and safety. 

Currently, he’s meeting with Tighnari. Out of everyone, the fox hybrid had the highest chance of knowing with his keen sense of hearing.

“I’m concerned about (Name).”

Tighnari’s ears twitch in response. 

“They aren’t the same person anymore. You’ve seen it too.”

The fox hybrid sadly nods. “They’ve been consumed by rage and self-hate. I see it in their eyes and the way they lash out. They’re angry at themselves and at everyone around them and it’s completely understandable considering the situation and the response of those they trusted most. Still, it’s not healthy if they continue like this. Speaking of which, were they always this temperamental?”

Alhaitham shakes his head. “No. To be clear, they’ve always had a sharp tongue but it was always lighthearted. They only started getting truly angry this year.”

“Lashing out or displaying signs of anger is often a common symptom of burnout. I’m fairly confident that’s what (Name) has. Specifically, academic burnout. But I’m sure you already knew that, didn’t you?”

Alhaitham uncomfortably avoids Tighnari’s prying eyes. 

Tighnari’s eyes narrow. “Look, (Name) is a great friend to me as well, but why are you telling me about this? You’re in their Darshan so shouldn’t you know more?”

“I haven’t heard anything about them either. I got concerned after they didn’t show up at the library for a week. From what I’ve heard, they haven’t been showing up to class either for the past few weeks, which is strange for them. I’m asking around- maybe I’ll find something out that way.”

Tighnari shakes his head. “Sadly, I don’t know why either. If it helps, some people have said they haven’t even seen them. Not just at the library or at class but in general. It’s almost as if they’ve just… disappeared.”

There’s a moment of silence that passes between them. Tighnari stares at Alhaitham curiously and he rests his chin on his hands.

Alhaitham doesn’t have a good feeling about this…

“Speaking of which, does the fight from earlier have anything to do with this?”

“You knew?”

“Please. When two of my closest friends get into an argument as big as that, I’m bound to find out eventually. So, did it have anything to do with this?”

“... Yes,” he admits. “I feel guilty and I want to apologize to them.” 

“Well, better late than never,” grumbles Tighnari under his breath. The stink eye he sends his way doesn’t go unnoticed by Alhaitham. 

“Why do you care for them so much?”

The question comes out of nowhere and leaves him reeling. 

“I suppose it’s… because I consider them a friend?”

Archons, that answer sounds even more pathetic out loud than it did in his head and Tighnari knows it. 

Tighnari heaves a long sigh that makes Alhaitham pause.

“You absolute lummox!” he snaps. “I always knew you were somewhat emotionally constipated but I didn’t think you’d be this dense…”

He suddenly stands up and stares the ashen-haired male in the eye, his tone softer this time. 

“You’re in love with them, Alhaitham. That’s what you’ve been feeling lately.”

Alhaitham immediately scoffs. “No, that can’t possibly be-”

“You, who hates sharing what you consider yours, share your notes with them.”

“It’s a win-win situation for both of us. We’re in the same Darshan and we’ll be able to learn better from each other.”

“But them, specifically, when there are countless others that would kill for the chance to learn from you?”

“They can figure the material out themselves. Plus, I stand to gain no benefit from what they have to offer.”

“What, so only (Name) can keep up with you?”

“Precisely.” 

Tighnari sees the opening Alhaitham has created and takes advantage of it.

“Are you sure that you’re still rivals? Even though (Name) is…”

“Of course. It’s been like that since day one.”

“Huh, that’s interesting. Because from what I know, academic rivals don’t go out to lunch together. They don’t go stargazing even though a certain someone finds it mind-numbingly boring. They don’t sneak out past curfew and break Akademiya rules on a daily basis, and they certainly don’t spend hefty chunks of Mora to make the other happy.” 

Tighnari has Alhaitham backed into a corner and he knows it. 

“Kaveh knows as well.”

“And?”

“And you still let yourself get roped into his schemes to make them happy. Look, I know this isn’t a good time to bring him up considering…”

He gestures at the empty space, a silent indication of Kaveh and Alhaitham’s broken friendship. 

“But there’s no denying that Kaveh did and still does care about you. Why else would he be willing to put in so much time and effort to make them happy? Because in addition to being their friend, he knows that when they’re happy, you are as well. And if that doesn’t mean something, then, I don’t know what else does.”

“We’re just friends,” he argues once again. Tighnari glares at him.

“You’re an idiot to think it doesn’t go deeper than that. You also saw them off every single time during the summer.”

“That’s what friends do. Besides, their parents should have-”

“Uh-huh. Go on, keep lying to yourself like that. Do I have to hit you over the head with a brick in order for you to realize your own feelings? You’re sounding like a broken record here.” 

“I-”

“There’s no use in denying or lying to us, Alhaitham. We’re your friends, after all. But the one who’s going to have to decide what to do next is you.”

He gets up and gives Alhaitham a pat on the shoulder. Before leaving, he looks at him one last time.

“It’s going to hurt even more when you lose them for good. You’ll only wish you could have done something sooner. But I think you already know that by now, right, Alhaitham?”

“Do you know where (Name) is?”

It’s a rare occasion today- Alhaitham actually showed up for class. But it wasn’t to listen to whatever the professor had to say- no, it was to ask your classmates where you went. He’s been trying every day to find you, but only to no avail. 

He’s gained some valuable information, however. Your roommate moved out a while ago, leaving you the sole occupant of your dorm room. He also managed to find your dorm room number after asking some of your “friends”, who after relentless prying, reluctantly opened up. 

“I can’t say for sure, but I heard they’re in the hospital. They somehow ended up there over the weekend.” 

“The hospital?” he repeats. “Do you know why?”

“No idea. Sorry.”

He shows up at the Birmarstan after the class ends, fully expecting to see you. He gives the nurse his name and a few minutes later, she returns with an apologetic smile. 

“Sorry, but the patient is not accepting visitors at this time.”

A slight pause. Barely perceptible.

“I see.”

You look at the window to see Alhaitham’s retreating form. The nurse enters your room a few minutes later and crosses her arms.

“He’s the first person who’s asked to visit you ever since you came in. I’m surprised- I thought you’d get more. Most people usually do.”

You pull the covers over your head and roll over. Such is the way of life in the Akademiya. Friendships were formed out of convenience as a way to climb up the ladder later in life. As soon as you were no longer useful or fell from grace like you did, others were quick to abandon you without a second thought. 

So why did Alhaitham visit then? To you, your relationship (as enemies? Friends? Or even…) was built solely on how you could assist each other, and nothing more. By your prior logic, there is no logical reason why he should visit you.

Unless… 

“Is there any reason why you didn’t want to see him in particular?”

Even if your hypothesis proved to be true, it doesn’t excuse or undo the hurt he caused.

“He’s the last person I want to see right now.”

A few days after being discharged from Birmarstan, there’s a knock from the door that wakes you up from your sleep. Still disoriented, you look up and roll over, opting to ignore it and go back to sleep.

The knocking continues. You cover your ear with a pillow and squeeze your eyes shut even more.

“I know you’re there, (Name). Several people told me so.”

Shit, it’s the last person you want to see right now. Your mood sours instantly and now you’re fully awake. 

“What do you want?” you snap. 

“I just want to talk.”

It doesn’t seem like he’ll be going away anytime soon, so you get up, kicking the trash that litters the floor to the side, and carefully cracking open the door. He looks down to see you. You pull the sleeves of your shirt down as he does so. 

“Can I come in?”

You look behind at the mess that is your dorm.

“... It’s not exactly clean right now.”

“That doesn’t matter to me.”

You flick the lights on and hide the worst of the trash underneath your bed. He follows you, his gaze traveling around the room. He notices the side with the unoccupied bed is considerably cleaner (that must have been your roommate’s before they moved out, he reasons) and your desk looks like it hasn’t been used in a while. He takes a seat at it and examines the table. Your Akasha Terminal is lying in the corner and collecting dust. Your textbook is open to a section that was taught a while ago and it looks like you just started taking notes. 

(Although, the frustrated scribbles that occupy most of the page have him concerned. Additionally, certain parts of the paper are wrinkled, as if they have dried after getting wet. The shape and spot where they are concentrated in is another cause for concern as well. Were you… crying?)

You pull the covers over your form and glare at him. 

“Well? What did you want to tell me?”

“I’m sorry.”

You pause, then shake your head.

“That alone won’t be enough.”

“I know. And that’s why-”

He gulps, his voice shaking toward the end. It’s just a simple apology, so why is he so nervous?

(But deep down he knows the real answer: this is his last chance to ask you for forgiveness before losing you for good. And it was the thought of losing you, the one that had managed to worm their way into his heart and appreciate him that scared him the most.) 

“I’m sorry. I really am. I shouldn’t have said those things back then. I should have been more understanding of your struggles and, like you said, had some more empathy. I realize that I am far from an ideal friend in many people’s eyes and if you feel the same, I will not hold that against you.”

His chest tightens and he subconsciously looks away.

“I’m aware of how people see me- valuing logic above all with a mind fueled by equations and facts over feelings. A genius with no regard or need for others. But I’m still human. I feel regret and remorse the same way as anyone else. I know when I’ve messed up and when I need to apologize. Now is one of those times, more than ever.” 

You turn around and open the blinds, letting the light flood the room before sitting back down, watching him carefully. 

“I don’t want to forgive you. Do you have any idea how long your words lingered for?”

The words sting Alhaitham. Your voice shakes and you feel the familiar burning sensation in your eyes. 

“But I know you. I know your bluntness and sharp tongue. You often say hurtful things but don’t mean them. You’re stubborn and slow when it comes to apologizing, even if the guilt eats away at you. You don’t wear your heart on your sleeve and you’re not one to dish out praises, leading others to believe that you’re cold and unsympathetic.”

You suddenly lean in, staring into the eyes that had kept you awake at night for so long. His eyes widen slightly and you smile faintly to yourself. 

“But I like to think that I’ve gotten to know you a bit. You show that you care with your actions, not your words, but that takes time- time that most people aren’t willing to give because of their first impression of you. You take the time to learn about the people you care about and prefer acts of service to words of affirmation and physical touch as your love language. You show that you care in a way of your own.

“So yes. I forgive you.”

Alhaitham finds himself sighing with relief. Yet a question still lingers in the back of his mind.

“Why?”

And there it is again, for the first time in a long time. Your smile. It’s a little stiff and awkward, as if you haven’t smiled in a long time, but it’s undoubtedly yours. 

“The same reason. I missed you too.” 

And now begins the uncomfortable process of recovery. 

“How long were you gone for?”

“... Longer than I’d like to admit. Catching up is going to be a difficult task, isn’t it?”

“I won’t sugarcoat it; you’ve missed a lot.” Alhaitham flips through your books and notes from prior years. “However, you have a strong foundation from your earlier years. That should help you. But first, let me ask you a few questions so I can outline a study plan for you.”

You raise your eyebrows at his statement.

“You’re taking this quite seriously, aren’t you?”

“Naturally,” he replies. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Knowing you, you’re not the kind of person to go out of your way for others,” you grumble. “So going to such lengths just for me…” 

“You discredit me if you think that I would do that. But why do you think you felt burnt-out in the first place?”

You look out the window and think for a bit.

“... I think it’s because of my own pride. Had I asked for help earlier on, I have a feeling I wouldn’t be in this position, or things would be better, at least,” you admit. 

“But it’s more than that, isn’t it?”

You sigh and hold your hands out in defeat. “You surely know more than you’re letting on. But I think it’s also because I never learned how to study.”

Alhaitham pauses at that. “Really?”

There’s no mockery or derision in his question- just curiosity. 

“People goaded me on as a gifted child and I was expected to somehow know how to do everything perfectly the first time, you know? It’s just how things were.”

“Well, that’s something we can fix for sure.”

Your first few days back are the worst. Whispers and stares follow you wherever you go and your professors, who once showered you with praises, look at you strangely or even ignore you. 

“Don’t mind them,” he says when he notices you sulking in the library later that day. “You and I both know that’s just the way the Akademiya is. We’ll see who gets the last laugh.” 

Much to the envy of your classmates, he also personally tutors you in all your classes. He accompanies you to all your classes (even the ones he isn’t taking) and sits in on them, whispering and writing little notes of clarification and elaboration. 

Bit by bit, you see your scores slowly improve. Alhaitham teaches you an array of study techniques, many of which have been personally vetted by him.

“Try each of them out,” he says. “Different techniques work for different people. There is something out there that works for you.”

He’s able to bear witness to the fruits of your labor one day when he hears your excited footsteps running toward him.

“Haitham, look!”

You practically shove several papers into his face. “I got a perfect score on the latest exam! And guess what? I tied with you, meaning that I also placed first!”

A rare smile, solely reserved for your eyes, creeps onto his face. 

“Good job. Your score is well-deserved after all the hard work you’ve been putting in.”

He sees it now. Slowly but surely, you’re regaining bits and pieces of your old self. You’ll never be exactly who you once were, but that’s ok. You’ll pick the broken yet salvageable parts up and put them together to create something new yet still distinctly you.

He only looks forward to seeing what you’ll become in the future. 

You’ve finally graduated.

It’s a joyous occasion today, filled with speeches, hugs, and promises to keep in touch. Families and friends crowd outside the Akademiya to congratulate their loved ones. The diploma in your hands and the cords around your shoulders are a sign of your achievements and your persistence despite all the roadblocks you faced along the way. 

Your heart feels simultaneously burdened and relieved. You had graduated squarely in the middle of the class. You knew it was something to be proud of, yet that part of your former self that you could never suppress couldn’t help but feel disappointed. 

Not that it really bothered you anyway. When you walked across the stage to the smattering of applause accompanying your name, you had immediately locked eyes with Alhaitham in the crowd. He was clapping, but what caught your attention the most was the smile he sent your way. It wasn’t one of his once in a blue moon microscopic ones.

No. It was one where you could see a sliver of his teeth and where the edges of his eyes crinkled from it, the sight of which sent your heart ablaze. There was pride in his gaze and in that moment, you felt as if everything had been worth it- even if it wasn’t the outcome you expected. 

And when he walked across the stage, you were the one to clap for him the loudest. 

You push your way through the heavy crowds, searching for one person in particular. He’s not anywhere in the crowd, so you head down the walkway and there you see him. He’s waiting for you with a large bouquet of flowers in his arms.

“Took you long enough,” he remarks. Alhaitham holds out the flowers to you and you accept them gratefully. 

“Oh, you remembered my favorite flowers!” you exclaim as you examine the bouquet. “I have something for you as well.”

You hand him an envelope and he eyes it curiously when a voice interrupts you. 

“(Name).”

You hear an awkward cough behind you and you turn to see your parents. They stand there awkwardly, fidgeting with their hastily-purchased bouquet of flowers that pales in comparison to what Alhaitham got you. 

(You don’t even like the kind of flowers your parents got for you and you’ve told them that before…) 

“Congratulations on gradu-”

“Oh, you must be Alhaitham!”

Your mother’s sudden remark takes all of you by surprise. She rushes forward and eagerly shakes his hand.

“I’ve heard so much about you! You just graduated and you’ve already made a name for yourself in Sumeru as a genius! How incredible is that? Ah, if only my child here could learn from you, but they’ve already graduated, so it’s a little too late for that now…”

You bite your lip and look away. The action doesn’t go unnoticed by Alhaitham. He retracts his hand. 

“It was nice to meet you. We’ll be taking our leave now.”

“We’ll?” 

Alhaitham ignores them in favor of holding your hand and leading you away.

“I think a celebration is in order. The owner of the stall that sells your favorite Padisarah Pudding is offering us free dessert today.” 

The heaviness that was hanging over you just a moment ago is now gone.

“Free desserts? I’m in!”

“Then it’s settled.” 

Later that night, Alhaitham remembers the letter you gave him earlier and pulls it out. He glances at the clock. There’s still time before he has to leave and meet up with you.

Dear Alhaitham,

Thank you for being by my side throughout these four years when no one else was. I owe my entire academic career to you. Perhaps even my entire life. I don’t know if I’d be writing this letter if it weren’t for you. 

When I saw you on the first day, I wondered what you were doing here. You were short, scrawny, and shy back then. I thought you were one of those child prodigies. Who knew you’d turn out to be the buff man skilled with the sword that I know today… 

Honestly, I didn’t think that you would help me. You were the envy of our class, unlike me. I wouldn’t be surprised and I wouldn’t blame you if all that praise got to your head. I guess I didn’t know you well enough back then, though, because you defied all of my expectations. Not only did you not care for status or fame, you also took time out of your own day (which I know you hate doing) for me. 

You really are an enigma, Haitham. You’re a person with several layers and hidden secrets like an intricately-designed mechanism. But I think that’s one of the reasons that drew me to you. Everyone has their own secrets and burdens. By slowly learning more about each other, you learn more about yourself. 

You and I, we are inseparable now. Earlier today, I had someone come up to me and ask where you were. They were surprised that you weren’t next to me like always. At first glance, we seem more different than similar, especially with our contrasting personalities. But take a closer look and they’ll see that we share more in common than in differences. Opposites attract, but similarities bind. 

Like those dusty old philosophers and figures that we had to learn about in class, we are parallels of each other. You are simultaneously my biggest critic and supporter. My biggest rival and confidant. My biggest headache and source of comfort. 

But most importantly, you are my biggest friend. 

Remember that one night where I asked you what you wished for? You had said that you wanted to keep talking to me regardless of how things turned out in the future. I didn’t really have a response at the time, but now I finally do.

My wish is selfish. I wish for you to stay the way you are. A little arrogant, blunt, curious, and caring in your own way. Because I can’t imagine a future without you in it now. 

With all my love,

(Name)

The house is too quiet for Alhaitham’s liking. He appreciates silence when working and Kaveh’s incessant noise from working on projects at midnight is downright irritating, but there is a time and place for everything.

Now is not that time. Thamina is sleeping on the cushion next to him. Kaveh is out in a meeting with a client (for once) and you’re-

“I’m home!”

Speak of the devil, there you are. Thamina’s eyes open and she jumps off the cushion to greet you with a loud meow and a head rub against your legs. Alhaitham takes his headphones off and sets his book down before getting up to greet you after a long journey back from Mondstadt. You’re tired, your uniform is wrinkled, and your Kamera has been hastily shoved back into its case, but Alhaitham has never been more grateful to see you. 

“Missed me?”

“You’ve been gone for too long,” he grumbles before pulling you into a tight hug and burying his face into the crook of your neck.

“Love, it was only for a month!”

“My point still stands.”

You scrunch your face up and eventually manage to wiggle your way out of his grasp. It’s been a few years since you’ve graduated. Alhaitham has dutifully taken on the responsibilities of the Akademiya’s Scribe while you now work as a reporter for a newspaper company. You love the job because it puts your Haravatat degree to good use and you get paid to travel, although you don’t like the part of being away from Alhaitham for extended periods of time.

“Are you still up for dinner and dessert even though it’s getting late?”

“At my favorite place?”

“Our favorite place,” he corrects.

“Oh, you like it now as well? Did some of my tastes rub off onto you?”

“The pudding runs I went on for you did that a long time ago.”

Comets are ephemeral in nature. Some of them are only seen once and then gone, lost in time and never to be seen again. But occasionally, in a twist of fate, they can be rediscovered although it may take hundreds or even thousands of years for them to return.

That comet he had wished upon several years ago had finally returned to him.

[half-mo0n]

Akhirnya jadi juga fanart buat karakter #JakartaVigilante punya Kak @victoria.writing Padahal JV tuh novel action tapi aku bikin fanart yang nga ada action-actionnya samsek, hehe. So here it is, Jakarta Vigilante Squad! PS : yang motoin si Philip, tapi sambil misuh-misuh karena nga diajak wkwk. . . . #fanart #jakartavigilantenovel #illustration #illustratorsoninstagram #artistsoninstagram #dibbillstrn https://www.instagram.com/p/CBML0Gund-c/?igshid=po9qzxi6ekq8

[theother-victoria]

been thinking of street racing with aventurine bc I imagine he’d like the thrill of it too…

tags: not proofread, I typed this out in tumblr drafts, some suggestive comments, flirting, gn reader, I don't know anything about street racing so pls forgive any inaccuracies, banter (they're so silly)

Aventurine, who pulls up to the race in an edgy and sleek sports car, drawing the attention of everyone else there- yours included.

You lean against the side of your car, watching him as he leaves opponent after opponent in the dust. He's skilled, you'll give him that. From the aggressive driving style and the make and model of the car, you're betting it's just some bored teenage boy with daddy's money to burn, but you'd be lying if you said you weren't at least a little bit curious about the person behind the wheel.

A few easy wins later that night and you're slated to race against him. He takes his sweet time pulling up to the finish line, but to your surprise, he rolls his window down for the first time that night and you're able to get a good look at him. He's no teenage boy but he has the same mischievous look that implies he's up to no good.

"Checking me out already?" he remarks, his (captivating) eyes twinkling in delight, although they're hidden behind his sunglasses. "And I thought I'd for sure be the one to make the first move."

Oh, so he's a flirt too. You can barely hear him over the loud purring of his expensive and modded car's engine and you know tonight's race will be a tight one.

"I see you've got money. What's a rich boy like you doing all the way out here?"

His grin widens.

"Ooh, you’re sharp. I like that and the way you talk.”

"Why don't you tell me who you are first?"

He laughs and shakes his head. He rolls up the window, much to your irritation, but not before saying one last thing and sending a wink your way.

"If you win, I'll tell you who I am. How does that sound?"

Damn. No other choice but to accept since the race is about to start.

You end up losing, but just barely. You had to push your car to its limits and he wasn't above playing dirty too, giving you a couple of close calls throughout. Although, he at least didn't endanger your life like some others have in the past, so you'll give him that.

After the race ends, you pull into a brightly-lit gas station with some people there. Shortly after, another car pulls up next to you and he steps out.

"Not bad, not bad," he says, clapping lightly. "It's not often that I find someone that can at least keep up with me, much less overtake me a couple times."

"So you were following me."

He raises his hands as a mock display of innocence.

"Hey, relax! Don't be so hostile! I just wanted to get to know you a bit better, that's all. Besides, you wanted to know who I am, right?"

You watch as he scribbles something onto a business card.

"Wasn't that only applicable if I won?"

"Eh, I've changed my mind now," he says, handing the card to you. "I don't make deals that don’t pay off and I'd consider it a loss if I didn't get at least your number tonight."

"You still didn't answer my original question. What's someone like you doing all the way out here? Surely you have more important matters to attend to, right?"

He laughs.

"Wow, you really don't know who I am, huh?"

"... What's that supposed to mean?"

"Ah, nothing. Just talking to myself. But to answer your question... I suppose it's because I enjoy the thrill of it. It's like gambling. Not knowing whether you'll win or lose, or even live or die. After all, the higher the stakes, the higher the excitement- why're you looking at me like that?"

"… You're insane."

"Sure, sure, sweetheart. I'll pretend that your reasons aren't the same as mine and that the adrenaline rush doesn't excite you every time. Why else would you willingly race, night after night?"

With one last wink, he gets into his car and drives away. You finally glance at the business card, only to do a double take and gape at it in shock when you realize its contents.

Aventurine, one of the IPC's Ten Stonehearts? No way... this guy's an IPC exec?

You don't know whether to feel proud about the fact that you got an IPC executive's number without trying or humiliated about the whole exchange...

There's a winking smiley face and an "call me xoxo" written next to the phone number.

And against your better judgement, you do just that.

He turns out to be an interesting companion. You'd think that with his demanding position, he'd be traveling all over the galaxy every day- which is true, to an extent, but he's always there for your weekly races and frequently drags you out shopping with him. He teaches you how to play poker and how to count your cards, if you didn't know how to already. He then tries to get you to play a round or two against him, which you promptly refuse each time.

("I spent all that time teaching you how to play and this is what I get in return? Boo, you're no fun. But a round or two never hurt anyone, right?"

"Aventurine, even a round or two is a surefire way to go into debt to you. Absolutely not."

He pouts and grumbles like a little kid every time.)

He also pays for additional mods to your car. When you try to refuse him, he merely brushes off your concerns.

"Sweetheart, I don't think you understand," he said back then. "I make more in a day than what it costs to mod your car. To me, this is nothing. Besides, I want an opponent who can keep up with me. If you start falling behind, well, then that's no fun for both of us, right?"

One night, there’s a particularly high-stakes race that you’re slated to compete in. The cash prize is one that’s too big for anyone to pass up.

Well, except for Aventurine. That amount of money is probably nothing by his standards.

For once, he’s not racing. When it’s your turn, he waves you over with a teasing smile as you’re getting ready.

“Say, how about raising the stakes for tonight?”

“What now?”

“Let’s make a bet.”

“… Fine.”

“If you win, we go on a date together. My treat, of course. If you lose, then you’ll have to play a round of poker with me.”

There isn’t an ounce of shame in his words. You openly gape at him as he beams at you proudly.

“… What?”

“You heard me.”

“Why though?”

He shrugs.

“Simple. I know this is a bet that will pay off. And I’ve been wanting this to happen for a long time now. So…”

He leans in close, lips teasingly brushing over your ear for a moment.

“Don’t disappoint me. I want to see you try and turn the tides in your favor for this race.”

You pull away from him.

“I accept, but only because I am not going into debt because of poker.”

He laughs.

“Go on then, sweetheart. I want to see you leave everyone behind in the dust. Oh, and don’t forget your good luck kiss!”

Aventurine blows a kiss to you. You roll your eyes as you climb into your car. Insufferable, that’s what he is. But if there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s reading people. Meaning he must’ve noticed that you wanted this too.

You roll your neck and focus on the road ahead. The race is about to begin.

That cash prize and date with Aventurine is yours.

[theother-victoria]

graduation trip

PREVIOUSLY | NEXT

SYNOPSIS: the stars in space must grow weary of their long orbits after a while. they too deserve to rest. a shooting star has regained its tail, ready to soar across the galaxy once more.

TAGS: fluff, minor spoilers of Kaveh’s backstory, the sillies getting a well-deserved break, 4.6k wc

NOTES: I was watching honkai impact’s “graduation trip” animation and sobbing the whole time as I wrote this their cover of canon in d just hits differently

Sitting upon the outskirts of Sumeru City is a small rented house where the breeze is warm and the sunlight is golden. A small garden grows off to the side and receives plenty of love, apparent from the abundance of vegetables and the fragrant blossoms. Traces of Dendro elemental energy used to help the plants grow are visible with elemental sight. Small trinkets are scattered here and there, bearing traces of their owners' personalities. A wind chime hanging off the roof awning that is styled after the night sky. Comets and crescent moons are strung together, tinkling pleasantly in the mid-afternoon breeze. A collection of Aranara statues sit by the front porch, clearly carved from different people from the varying differences in skill. The smell of freshly-brewed coffee and Padisarah Pudding is always wafting out the open windows and the neighbors are used to the house’s frequent yet lighthearted arguing. 

If one were to peer through the large living room window with the curtains pulled open, they would see an impressive collection of books in the living room. The term “home library” did the collection a disservice; to call it an actual library would be more fitting. Two diplomas are hung side by side above the bookshelves. Cat toys are scattered across the floor and atop furniture and if they’re lucky, they can see the household’s gray cat napping in a sunbeam. 

If they were to peer through the window now, they would also see two recent Akademiya graduates in the kitchen. One was adding ice cubes to their drink, while the other sat at the kitchen table reading a book. 

“(Name), have you ever thought about taking a graduation trip?”

You look up mid-sip from your iced peach juice. Alhaitham seems calm and composed but having known him for four years and counting, you spot the subtle signs of his nervousness. You hear his foot lightly tapping against the floor and the way his fingers drum against his book cover. He avoids making eye contact and is oddly fixated on the fruit bowl. 

You look back out the window and think for a bit. You can’t say you’ve ever considered it these past four years. Money was tight as an Akademiya student and you were too preoccupied with your studies among… other things. 

But now that you’ve graduated in relatively decent academic standing with a fair amount of money earned, you suppose you could give the notion some thought. 

Alhaitham seems to take your silence as hesitation and he begins to (very subtly) panic.

“I still have enough Mora, so don’t worry about paying for anything.”

“Haitham-”

“And the location is completely up to you. I’m fine with whatever nation you choose.”

“I-”

“Of course, you can say no if you don’t want to. It’s perfectly understandable. I’m also content with spending our summer together at-”

“Haitham.”

The finality in your voice makes him stop rambling. You give him a small smile of reassurance and interlock your fingers with his across the table. It seems to calm him down and you can see the tension in his shoulders dissipate.

“Of course I want to go. I just haven’t had the time or energy to consider it these past four years.”

“Well, where to then?”

“You’re the one paying for the trip. It’s only fair that I let you decide.”

“Good point,” he admits. His eyes narrow in your direction and you squirm uncomfortably under his pointed gaze. You can hear him mumbling to himself as he goes through his list of ideas.

(Is this what Tighnari’s plant samples felt like underneath the magnifying glass and his scrutinizing eye?)

“Liyue?... No, you went there already. Inazuma sounds good, but their political state has been rocky lately… Mondstadt, then? No, there’s a national holiday coming up so it’s going to be busy and overcrowded…” 

He pauses.

“How does Fontaine sound?”

“Fontaine?” you repeat. 

“It’s nearby, so travel fees won’t be outrageous, and neither of us have been there before. The political state is stable and there’s no national holidays or anything similar coming up, meaning it won’t be as crowded as say, Mondstadt,” he reasons. “But if you’re not interested, then that’s fine-”

“Haitham, do you remember what I said earlier? I’d love to go anywhere with you. A trip to Fontaine sounds lovely.”

That seems to ease the last of his worries. His shoulders relax and he leans back into his chair. There’s a faint grin that only you have the privilege of seeing as he pulls out his notebook and begins writing down plans. 

“I’ll start making reservations now. It shouldn’t take them more than a few days. When do you want to leave?”

“As soon as possible.”

“How does the end of this week sound then?”

It’s a perfect day for traveling. The sky is clear and the air is warm but not overbearingly so. The sea should be calm as well. Thamina has been handed to a friend for pet sitting. Your bags are stacked on the front porch and you’re fiddling with the keys when Alhaitham taps you on the shoulder. 

“Before we go, I have a present for you.”

You raise your eyebrows at that. Alhaitham wasn’t much of a gift giver (at least overtly). 

He presents a simply-wrapped box. Peeling off the paper, you open the box to see a Kamera sitting inside it, and a rather fancy model at that. 

“Everyone contributed to this,” he explains as you fiddle with the expensive gadget, examining it from all angles like a curious child. “I know you’ve been eyeing the empty position of reporter at the newspaper company in town and I thought a Kamera would be a practical gift, so I began saving up for one.”

He sighs. “Word got out that I was looking for a Kamera. Everyone put two and two together and they realized it was going to be for you and they began sending me money. Even Lisa pitched in.”

“Lisa?” you repeat. “She’s all the way in Mondstadt right now!”

He lightly chuckles. “Imagine my surprise when I opened the mailbox to find a hefty pouch of Mora one day with a letter signed by her in there. She still hasn’t dropped the habit of calling you ‘cutie’, by the way.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less than that from her.”

“But with everyone’s funds combined, I was able to get a nicer model than the one I was originally going to get. Give it a go and tell me what you think of it.”

You press the shutter. It goes off with a loud click, startling you. A few moments later, it spits out a strip of film from the opening beneath the lens. You absentmindedly put it aside in a shaded spot for now. 

“It’s quite nice. And your intuition proved to be right once more. But if you got me something this expensive, surely there has to be another reason than it being a practical gift for my future job?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Oh? I think that’s the fastest you’ve seen through me to date.”

“You’re not exactly being subtle here.”

He sighs at your deadpan expression. “It’s nothing shameful or secretive. I just want you to be the one to document the details of our trip.”

“Entrusting such an important task to me?”

“There’s no one better suited for the job.”

Right as you’re about to leave, you remember the photo you had accidentally taken earlier. Out of curiosity, you retrieve it to see what the Kamera had captured. 

The film had developed nicely, albeit slightly blurry. Probably because you had moved out of shock when the shutter went off. It turns out you’d accidentally taken a photo of Alhaitham, but it isn’t half-bad. He’s relaxed in the photo and his eyes lack the usual piercing and cold look most people see him with.

It’s a nice shot. Perhaps you’ll keep it for yourself. 

“Welcome to the Clementine Line aquabus! This boat tour will take you to the magnificent court of Fontaine, the most important city in our nation!”

The sweet creature before you, who you quickly learned was a Melusine and was named Aeval, introduces herself and begins pointing out the sights around you- much like how a tour guide would. The aquabus is quite crowded with visitors but you sit shoulder-to-shoulder comfortably against Alhaitham.  

Many students and children are here on summer vacation with their families and you feel a pang of jealousy run through you, which quickly morphs to tension when you notice some familiar faces from these past four years. Alhaitham immediately picks up the sudden change in your mood, as he always has. Funny how people think of him as emotionally dense when he’s one of the most emotionally intelligent people you’ve ever met. 

“Who are they?” he whispers into your ear, low enough so that only you can hear it.

“No one of any importance,” you whisper back. “Just as long as they don’t ruin our trip.” 

After some time, their gaze begins to wander when they land on you. You hear the whispers quietly explode around you and the eyes that burn into your body. The sweet Melusine tour guide is as perceptive as she is sweet, for she makes eye contact with you, giving you something else to focus on other than them. 

From over your shoulder, Alhaitham silences them with a sharp glare.

(“Did something happen?” you ask him when you no longer feel their gazes boring into you. You cast a glance at them out of the corner of your eye and notice how they no longer look in your direction.

“... Let me rephrase that. Did you do something?”

He hums. “I’m unaware of what you might be implying.”

“Stop feigning ignorance,” you hiss.

“I am doing no such thing.”

There’s no such thing as winning with him around.)

The aquabus reaches its destination, and all your troubles are forgotten as you step off. The air is warm and salty from the sea and the buildings are so tall it makes your neck hurt. Mechanical beings walk the street and nobody pays them any mind except you. (You know your Kshahrewar colleagues would love to get their hands on one.) 

“Woah! Are you seeing all of this, Haitham? It’s so different from Sumeru and Liyue!”

Instantly, Alhaitham knew he made the right decision bringing you here and part of a burden is lifted off his shoulders. 

There are many things to do and see in Fontaine. You start off by exploring the city. One of the first things you do is visit a Kamera shop to get a better understanding of how your shiny new gift worked. You ended up leaving with some newfound knowledge, some gadgets, and a significantly lighter wallet. 

Fontaine has plenty of boulangeries and patisseries, each one better than the last. Your days aren’t complete without sampling the goods of several stores and you quickly see why Fontaine’s desserts are world-renowned. 

“They’re so buttery and creamy,” you remark the first time you try one. “I can’t help but feel full after just a few bites…” 

Fontaine is renowned for its stunning underwater landscapes that photos can’t do justice to. It had been on your bucket list of things to see the moment you began planning for this trip, but what nobody told you was that only Vision holders could breathe underwater. Regular people couldn’t do that unless they learned the ins and outs of using a diving suit, something both costly and time-consuming- two things you lacked.

That’s how you found yourself pouting at the water’s edge, disappointment etched into the lines of your face. 

“Let’s just go back now. There’s still other things we can do.”

Alhaitham looks at you with mild surprise. “I thought this was one of the things you wanted to do most in Fontaine?”

“It was and still is, but I don’t have a Vision, so…”

He looks back at the water, then at you beginning to get up, and finally at the reluctance in your eyes.

“Stay here,” he suddenly says. “I’ll go and make it worth your while.”

“What-”

“It won’t be long. Don’t go running off now.”

And without any hesitation, he dives straight into the waters, leaving you reeling as you watch his figure slowly disappear as he descends. 

With nothing else to do, you absentmindedly sketch the surroundings until some time passes and you hear a small splash. You watch as Alhaitham emerges from the waters, water plastered to his forehead like your cat Thamina’s fur after a bath, but more importantly, you notice what he’s carrying. You’ve seen sketches of them in some of the books you’ve read in Fontaine so far- Romaritime Flowers, Lumitoiles, Beryl Conches… he must’ve dove into some deep waters to get some of these local specialties.

“For you,” he says.

“Really?”

He nods. “I brought you part of the sea that you wanted to explore so much.”

You let the weight of his actions sink in. 

“You… did all of that? Just for me?”

“I’d swim to the bottom of Fontaine’s deepest trenches as many times as you want.”

“Willingly, at that?”

“Gladly, at that.”

Later that night, you stay up into the early morning preserving what he brought you. Your arms are tired from carrying heavy books for pressing the flowers, and the room reeks of alcohol and seafood so much that you have to open the windows while you’re drying out the Lumitoiles lest you pass out from the smell. It reminds you of the late-nighters you’d pull back in your Akademiya days, except it's for something you enjoy this time. 

You finish when the sun’s early morning rays begin to peek beyond the horizon. You’ve finally passed out in bed, barely awake, but still sleepily talking to yourself with Alhaitham lying across from you.

“Still stinks,” you mumble as your eyelids begin to close.

Alhaitham’s condition is as equally bad as yours, sleep-deprived and exhausted. He chuckles at your remark.

“Would you still want to do this again?”

“Maybe in a better-ventilated area,” you grumble. 

He loudly yawns.

“Just say the word and… I’ll bring you anything you desire…”

You can’t keep your eyes open for much longer. When you’re in this state, your mind doesn’t have a filter and you’re less inhibited. Alhaitham has a feeling of what you’ll say next. Something outlandish and unattainable.

“Even the moon and stars?”

“Only the most luminous of shooting stars for you,” he replies without hesitation.

Why a shooting star, of all celestial bodies…you groggily wonder. 

“What if it burns out and loses its tail? It’s just an ordinary rock then.”

“It’s still the same star, is it not? And shooting stars can return and regain their tail.”

Throughout all of it, you take photos. So many photos. You brought along an album for the trip and it contains photos of just about everything under the sun. The mountains in the background on your way to Fontaine. Photos of the desserts and everything you ate every day. The grandeur of the opera house when you were there to watch a play. Your pressed flowers are next to the photos of the sea. Your Lumitoiles and Beryl Conches sit in a bag, waiting to be taken home. 

Beneath each photo, Alhaitham has written little notes. Most of them are about the foods you liked and disliked for his reference.

(Name) didn’t like the Fontaine Aspic and neither did I. Who thought this was a good idea…? I’d be hard-pressed to find someone who enjoyed it. 

The Duck Confit was nice, but (Name) could only manage a few bites before they complained it was too oily. That seems to be a recurring theme…

(Name) has liked all the desserts we’ve tried so far. How hard would it be to recreate them at home?

But there’s other notes too.

A pressed Rainbow Rose sits between a photo of you both in front of the Fountain of Lucine where plenty of them were blooming and a photo of the Opera Epiclese in the evening. Strange, you don’t remember pressing this flower and placing it in this specific spot. 

All that was written beneath it was “for (Name)”. 

A few days into your trip and you’re examining a hat display while Alhaitham checks out a book display across the street when you hear a familiar voice drifting above the crowd.

“... The audacity of that client! Can you believe he backed out of the deal last minute? At least he paid me upfront…”

Your head jolts up. You look back at Alhaitham, who has done the same thing, and look toward the source of the sound in sync. 

Surely it can’t be…?

A few moments later and your suspicions are confirmed. Kaveh emerges from the crowd and… a woman who looks startlingly similar standing next to him?

“Huh? Is that… his mom?”

“He did tell me one night that his mom remarried and moved to Fontaine sometime after he enrolled in the Akademiya,” notes Alhaitham, who has moved to stand next to you. Kaveh turns and makes eye contact with you. It takes him a few seconds to process the sight before he gasps loudly, audible even amongst the crowd, and then storms over to you. 

“You!” he exclaims while jabbing an accusing finger at Alhaitham’s chest. “What are you doing here? Nice to see you again, (Name).”

“Graduation trip,” explains Alhaitham. “We-”

He’s interrupted by Kaveh’s mom rushing over. 

“You must be Alhaitham! And you must be (Name)! I’ve heard so much about you from Kaveh! Are you both busy right now, by any chance?”

“Not… particularly?”

And that’s how you find yourself out in the countryside spending the evening with Kaveh and his family. Faranak had shooed you out of the house and encouraged you to reconnect with each other until she called you back for dinner. In that time, you had found that Kaveh had made quite the name for himself within the architecture world (no surprise there) and was working on a commission for a very wealthy man before he suddenly backed out of the deal. At least he still got a hefty upfront deposit to keep. In the meantime as he decided which commission to take out of the many that were flooding in, he was reconnecting with his direct and extended family, who he hadn’t seen in years. 

“And how about you two?” he asks. “What are you both up to now?”

“Haitham is working at the library as of now, but I’ve been hearing rumors of how he might get promoted to the position of Scribe soon.”

“You probably don’t even want the position anyway,” scoffs Kaveh. “Knowing you and all.”

“Actually, I do.”

You both turn to look at him.

“Better pay, better schedule, more flexibility, and a decreased workload, to name a few,” he lists.

“... Wouldn’t being a librarian entail less work than the Scribe? And why’d you mention pay? I know how much you want a cushy life, but you seem pretty comfortable now?” Kaveh asks. 

“It’s decent, but I know we could have more.”

“We?” repeats Kaveh. He slowly connects the dots as he looks at you and Alhaitham. “Wait, don’t tell me you two are-”

“We’re living together. That’s it.”

Kaveh blinks. He looks a little… disappointed?

“Oh… that’s all? No-”

Alhaitham cuts him off with a glare that could kill. 

“Not. Another. Word,” he hisses. Then, in a whisper that only Kaveh can hear:

“Not yet, at least.”

You look at the two of them, unaware. Alhaitham clears his throat and sends one last glare at Kaveh before continuing.

“As I was saying, (Name) and I are renting a house together. However, now is a good time to become a homeowner. Mortgage rates are low, housing stock is high. It’ll be doable for me with some time and savings.”

“Geez, stop rubbing your success in our faces,” grumbles Kaveh. “You’ve already got a promotion lined up and you’ll potentially be the first homeowner in our circle. Give me a break…”

While the two grumble and bicker the same way they did back in their Akademiya days, you hang behind, fiddling with a wildflower you had picked earlier. 

While I’m glad he’s getting such a head start in life… where does that leave me then?

On the walk back, neither of you notice how Alhaitham lingers behind. Neither of you notice how Alhaitham is also doing the math for how much he has to save up each month to get a house built.

Specifically, one that’s big enough for at least two people. 

The last day of your trip has arrived. You’re outside the aquabus station waiting for it to return and take you back to Romaritime Harbor when you notice you still have some film left. 

“Here, Haitham, let’s pose for a photo. Might as well use up this remaining film.”

There’s also one last thing you’ve been meaning to do. His comments back at Faranak’s house made you feel dejected, but you tell yourself that you only live once. Might as well so you have no regrets. 

Leaving the aquabus station temporarily, you set up your Kamera in front of the large rotating fountain in front. You fiddle with the tripod’s height until you made sure that you were both in frame.

With everything all ready, you hurry back to where Alhaitham is standing. His free arm lazily drapes over your shoulder, his hand resting just above your heart.

Your heart pounds in anticipation. You wonder if he can feel it.

The light flashes red. One.

You quickly glance at him. He doesn’t suspect a thing. His shirt collar is right within grabbing range too. 

Two.

It’s now or never. 

Three.

You press your lips to his cheek the moment the shutter goes off with a loud click. He jolts upon contact and you instinctively tighten your grip on him. You can feel the smoothness of his cheek and the faint scent of his shaving cream from this morning. You feel the rush of heat to his face and it makes you smile a bit. 

Despite his intimidating stature, he still acts like a little boy experiencing romantic love for the first time.

(Probably because it is.)

The Kamera spits out a piece of film and you pray that the photo turned out alright. Your eyes are squeezed shut while his are blown wide in an uncharacteristic display of shock. It’s the perfect photo for a long-anticipated first kiss. 

Strangely, Alhaitham doesn’t say a word the entire time and you think you’ve pissed him off, until you’re on the boat back to Sumeru.

“That wasn’t fair of you.”

“... What?”

You shift a bit and see he’s scowling, but in a childish way. 

“I wanted to be the first to confess.”

It’s quite the sight. The serious and stoic Alhaitham, pouting like a child. Had you not used up the last of the film for your first kiss, you would have immediately snapped a photo.

You think a bit about what to say and quickly realize something.

“... You do realize I never confessed back there, right?”

“You kissed me,” he plainly states. “That counts as a confession in itself.”

You huff and roll your eyes. “But I never said…”

“Said what?”

“You know… those three words?”

You gesture at the space before you, hoping he gets your message. 

“I’m unaware of what you’re trying to imply.”

You stare at him in disbelief. Is this man for real?

Then you notice the teasing glint in his green eyes and it makes you want to tear your hair out. 

“You…! Fine. Ok. Shut up. Insufferable asshole. Why did I fall in love with you? You know exactly what I’m referring to. Since you’re all pouty about it, why don’t you say it then?”

He doesn’t take your jab at him seriously, instead choosing to grasp both your hands in his. 

“Najmati-”

The endearment makes your heart leap into your throat. My star. He had always called you (Name) or some other nickname, but now… 

You reach to cover your burning face but Alhaitham tightens his grip on your wrists.

“Don’t look away now. Are those two stars that hold boundless love and outshine the sun and moon, or are they your eyes?”

Since when was he so good with his words? Stupid Alhaitham and his stupidly smart self and his Haravatat degree making you feel things you’ve never felt before. 

“Boundless love for one person only. Care to guess who?”

He feigns cluelessness. “Would I happen to be that lucky recipient?”

The corners of your eyes crinkle from a smile that actually meets them. The small laugh that comes out of you reminds him of the night sky wind chime hanging off the awning that he got because it reminded him of you. 

“This confession is long overdue. You really do remind me of a shooting star; something that makes everyone stop and stare in awe. I, just like everyone else, was just as taken with you. Always radiant, always glowing, always full of energy and moving onto what lay ahead. Rather than a star, you must’ve been the sun with all the energy you had and the life you gave to everything you touched.”

“But, Haitham, I burnt myself out. Have you read what Rtawahist scholars predict will happen when the sun inevitably runs out of fuel and collapses in on itself?”

“Everything will be destroyed. And everything was destroyed two years ago. But you’re still here, aren’t you? And so am I.”

“The only one to have survived the blast and fallout with me,” you whisper, interlocking your fingers with his. Your eyes slowly trail up to his gaze, where you see something sweet swirling around in his eyes. “And you’re still here two years later when everything has finally settled down.”

“There’s no such thing as perfection in this world,” he continues. “So I sometimes think that you came here from another world because you are the closest thing to perfection I’ve ever touched.”

“But, Haitham, I have my very obvious flaws. You’ve seen them on full display and you’ve bluntly pointed them out to me several times.”

“It is because you are multifaceted and flawed that makes you more than just a star, (Name). And stars aren’t perfect or flawless either. They’re made of rock, dust, ice, and without its hallmark tail, it looks rather plain. But, my dear sun, your strengths and shortcomings make you radiant even if you’ve lost the tail that people chased after you to see.”

“If I continued to run, would you still chase me?”

“Do you still have a reason to run?

You pause and think. Your time in Fontaine made you feel warm inside. It gave you a glimpse of what life could be like now. Now that you’ve experienced it you don’t ever want to go back to what it was like before, in your familiar yet cold childhood home, its walls devoid of love and color. 

That house is not home anymore. It’s now the rented home you share with Alhaitham, where the windows don’t fully close sometimes and the floorboards creak obnoxiously. 

And you decide that you no longer have a reason to continue running across the night sky for others to see. 

“My shooting star, I’ve loved you ever since our Akademiya days. Will you be mine, as I am already yours?” 

[theother-victoria]

So I saw the Dan Heng IL leaks and one of the first things I noticed were his pointed ears…

SYNOPSIS: the cuteness aggression takes over after you’ve seen your lover’s true form. you don’t think he’ll mind you biting him, right?

CHARACTER: dan heng

TAGS: hsr leaks for dan heng’s identity, (name) is a menace, a little suggestive toward the end, uhh nothing else that I can think of, might seem rushed because I wrote this in one sitting

“Dan Heng, can I touch your tail?”

Ever since you left the Xianzhou Luofu and Dan Heng’s past was revealed, Dan Heng has noticed you’ve been a lot more touchy and curious lately. It was to be expected, given his new form.

(“Ooh, are those horns? Are they sensitive like March says they are?”

Your fingers had barely grazed them before Dan Heng batted your hands away and refused to look at you for the rest of the day, much to your dismay and crew’s amusement. If only you could see how red his face was.)

And now the newest victim subject of your curiosity is his tail. He hesitates from editing his entry in the archives before finally nodding. When he turns back around, you immediately pounce.

“Oh, it’s kinda cold!” you exclaim as you run your hands across the appendage. “And really smooth as well.”

The blue scales shimmer under the light as you lift it up and examine it. At one point, it twitches in your grasp and lightly smacks you in the face.

(You take that as a sign to stop.)

While Dan Heng continues to add entries to the archive, your attention is eventually directed to another feature of his that’s prominent from your spot behind him:

His pointed ears.

He didn’t have those before… hmm…

You sneak a glance at him- he’s preoccupied and not paying attention to you. Good. You don’t have much time to act and you seize the opportunity while it’s available.

Sneaking up behind him, you hold your breath and count down.

3… 2… 1… attack!

Dan Heng sees you too late and you’ve latched onto his shoulders by then. A second later and you’re (gently) biting the tips of his ears. He gasps and flinches and you smirk to yourself.

Success!

But your victory is short-lived and you suddenly find yourself on your back with Dan Heng on top of you with his tail swishing back and forth agitatedly. His head dips toward your neck and you feel sharp fangs nip and bite at the delicate flesh.

"I-ah, wait!" you cry out as you squirm in his grasp. "Dan Heng, what are you doing?"

"This is payback," he growls. “You knew exactly what you were doing, didn’t you?”

You freeze.

“… Maybe?”

Later, when the crew finds you asleep on his tail with a blanket covering your form, they know better than to ask.

[theother-victoria]

WHAT ONCE WAS

SYNOPSIS: Accountability is a bitter pill to swallow, but what hurts more is being forgotten by the one he loves the most. As he rebuilds your relationship once more, Scaramouche has a difficult decision to make: have you live in blissful ignorance or admit the truth and risk everything falling apart again.

TAGS: angst w fluff, happy ending bc I’m not that cruel, major spoilers for the “Inversion of Genesis” interlude archon quest, scaramouche is referred to as “Ena” bc that’s the name I gave him, gn reader, 11.7k word count

NOTES: so this is where I’ve been for the past *checks calendar* three months

Here’s the in-depth explanation and analysis behind this fic if you want to read it afterward!

Watch me post this and then inevitably disappear for a few more 🫡

Scaramouche has been acting strange lately.

He’s been unusually silent like he’s pondering something and staring off into space most of the time. When you ask him about it, he shrugs your questions off and says it’s nothing.

“What’s on your mind, Scara?”

“Nothing. Just… thinking.”

And the conversations always end there. He makes no effort to elaborate and eventually, you stop digging for answers. Other than that, he still acts normally. He still has his sharp tongue and attitude. You still get into your daily fights and scuffles with him over nothing. You’d return home from work and he’d return home from whatever he was doing in the city (something along the lines of community service was what you managed to gather from the bits and pieces of information he told you). In a sense, everything was still the same. His sudden radio silence at times was startling, but nothing ever changed in your relationship as a result of it.

… But really, it’s kind of scary how intensely he zones out sometimes.

Then, everything changes one night.

You’re getting ready for bed with him while he stares out the window as usual. If you follow his line of sight, it leads to the Sanctuary of Surasthana. He’s been oddly fixated on that place lately and you haven’t been able to get an answer as to why.

You take a seat on the bed next to him. There’s a look in his eyes that tells you he’s plotting something- that there’s an idea brewing in his mind.

“Thinking again? What nefarious scheme are you plotting-”

You don’t even get the chance to tease him further before he pulls you into a tight hug. Normally, he’s nowhere near this affectionate, preferring to keep his distance even in your close relationship, but now he’s holding you close as if he’s afraid he’ll lose you otherwise.

“...Scara? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah. I just wanted to give you a hug.”

His soft violet hair tickles your neck and you feel his hands absentmindedly tracing circles around your waist.

“Is there a reason as to why?”

“No. Just felt like it.”

You eye him suspiciously. As soon as it started, he pulls away from the hug and flicks your forehead.

“Go to sleep now. I’ll join you in a bit. Just… let me think for a bit longer.

“I love you.”

He says the last part like it’s nothing. It nearly gives you whiplash and you look at him strangely. He’s really lost his mind this time, hasn’t he? He almost never does that.

“What’re you gaping at me like that for? Go to sleep already.”

He lightly hits you over the head with a pillow before you can say anything else. You roll your eyes and with a huff, roll onto your side until you’re fast asleep within a few minutes.

Scaramouche doesn’t join you as he promised. Instead, he continues to stare out the window at the moon, his gaze occasionally flickering back to your sleeping figure. A rare expression of uncertainty crosses his face as he sinks deep into thought.

Is this really the right decision?

Time stretches out over an eternity. Hours pass and the moon rises higher into the sky. Scaramouche debates with himself, unsure of what to do.

This is a decision I can’t go back from.

Throughout his long life, he’s never been faced with a choice as difficult as this. Neither decision ends well for either of you. Deep down, he knew what the correct answer was, yet he refused to consider it for more than a few seconds.

What would he do if he lost everything all over again?

Time was running out. Scaramouche gets up to leave with his mind made up. Lying to himself wouldn’t do anything and Nahida was waiting for him. He plants a soft kiss on your cheek and stares at you longingly one last time before putting his hat on and heading out the door. It closes behind him with a silent click.

Whatever happens next, happens. He’ll witness the results of his actions tomorrow.

The next morning, you wake up feeling refreshed and your mind clearer than it’s ever been. It feels like you’ve been asleep for a very, very long time and you’ve just woken up.

And instantly, you notice something is off.

There are traces of another person everywhere. From the Inazuman-style clothes hanging in the closet that most definitely aren’t yours to the ink-wash paintings hanging on the wall, it’s evident that someone has influenced your life tremendously.

But who? Your mind is drawing up blanks as to who it could be.

When you get downstairs, it’s even more prominent. A pair of slippers that are too big for you by the stairwell. Books sitting on the bookshelf that after examining their titles and summaries, aren’t to your liking but are still there anyway. Traditional Inazuman sandals and shoes are lined up next to yours by the front door. None of it matches the vibe of your house and yet, they look as if they’ve been there forever, weathered and worn with time.

There’s a photo sitting on a side table in the living room that catches your attention. Upon closer inspection, it’s of you and a young man sitting side by side and posing for the camera. His attire is… unique. You can’t say you’ve seen anything quite like it before.

The first thing that catches your attention is the wide-brimmed hat he’s wearing. It’s ornate, with gold decorations and a veil in the back. His clothes seem like they cost a fortune and appear to be from Inazuma, similar to the ones hanging in your bedroom closet. A smirk plays across his face, yet there’s a gentle look in his eyes as he gazes at you smiling at the camera. An arm is slung around your shoulder, pulling you close.

Clearly, you have- or had?- some sort of special relationship with him according to this photo. But you don’t recognize his face. You can’t remember anything about this man. You don’t even know his name.

Who is he?

Someone knocks at the door. Three solid thumps against the wood and then silence. The sound echoes in your ears and you can feel yourself get up to answer the door. Why does it feel like you have no control over your body right now? Why does time feel like it’s moving so slowly?

Why are you so afraid of what awaits you on the other side of the door?

You open the door to reveal a young man waiting patiently. With a shock, you realize he’s the same man in the photo. He has the same fair skin, the same eyes, and the same blunt haircut.

(He’s even prettier up close and in person.)

He’s changed quite a bit too. His attire is different now. He wears an open-chested kimono with a black bodysuit underneath and pleated shorts. The furisode kimono is dyed in shades of blue and white that resemble the sky and small birds are depicted on the long sleeves as if they are taking to the skies. His hat has lost the veil, but it’s more ornate and now resembles a lotus, the metal gleaming in the late afternoon sun. More surprisingly is the Anemo vision pinned proudly to his robes. By the looks of it, it seems as if he built his entire outfit around it.

But what surprises you the most is his face. He seems… unburdened now. Like a heavy weight has been lifted from his shoulders for the first time.

There’s a look of trepidation on his face and a small spark of hope in his eyes as he meets your gaze.

“... Can I help you?”

The spark of hope quickly dies at your response. His face is crestfallen, yet all he does is let out a resigned sigh.

“I’m a lost traveler that’s in need of a place to stay. Do you mind if I stay at your house for a little while?”

You glance back at the photo, then back at him. Under any other circumstances, you would have said no, but this time…

“Of course. But I don’t know your name yet.”

He pauses for a moment. His gaze darts around like he was searching for an answer- or several answers. You’re beginning to wonder if you said the wrong thing before he chuckles and smiles, finally relaxing.

“What you call me doesn’t matter. Call me anything you want.”

“That doesn’t answer the question.”

He huffs a sigh. Persistent as always, he thinks.

“Others call me Wanderer. Call me that if you’re strapped for ideas.”

“Wanderer…”

It’s an interesting name for sure. In your opinion, it really can’t be considered a name. It’s more suited for a description.

“That’s quite the interesting name you’ve got there, but it’s awkward to say and isn’t really suited for a name.”

“If you don’t like it, call me something else then,” he retorts. You ignore the remark and mentally go through the limited collection of Inazuman names you know of. None of them are suitable until a long-forgotten one hits you out of the blue.

“Hmm… how about the name Ena?”

“Ena,” he repeats to himself, trying the name on for size. To your surprise, you watch as his scowl melts into a grin and his eyes soften. His eyes shine with delight and he lets out a little chuckle.

“Meaning ‘gift from god’. I like it.”

I wouldn’t consider myself that, he thinks. Far from it, actually. But if that’s what you think I am, then I’ll believe it wholeheartedly.

“And by the way, Ena is a girl’s name.”

Your eyes go wide with shock.

“I-really? Wait, I’m sorry for-!”

You’re interrupted by his unabashed laughter at your dumbfounded expression. The smug look on his face tells you that he got the desired reaction out of you.

“You should’ve seen your face! It’s so easy to get you worked up over nothing, you know?”

“Stop pulling my leg like that!”

For some reason, this kind of argument with him over nothing feels… familiar. You push the thought to the side and storm away, huffing and puffing in irritation.

“Whatever. Come inside and make yourself at home. Just don’t make a mess of anything.”

Ena goes quiet and his wistful gaze lingers on the spot you were just a few moments ago. He lets out a drawn-out sigh and an unwelcome, though familiar, feeling tugs at the heart he now knows he has. Was it regret? Sorrow? Longing for something so close yet so far, barely out of touch?

Whatever it was, the full weight of his actions had finally hit him. Karma had finally come back to make him pay. He lifts his Anemo vision up and eyes it. It glows in response and he scoffs.

… He can’t say he misses the feeling of it.

It’s a bitter pill to swallow- accountability and the uncertainty of the future. He glances inside your house and sighs before shaking his head and heading inside.

You’re just as lovely as the day I lost you.

The next day, he has an interesting idea. You were eating breakfast around the table with him not-so-subtly criticizing your cooking skills and you telling him to “make his own if it’s so bad then.” He had scoffed and said he’ll take you up on that offer.

(This scene feels strangely domestic and familiar…)

Ena pushes his (empty) bowl to the side. There’s that look in his eyes that tells you he’s up to no good. How you managed to recognize it after less than a day with him, you have no idea.

“How would you like to travel the world with me?”

You pause and stare at him blankly.

“What?”

“You heard me. How would you like to travel the world? I’m sure you’ve always wanted to do that, right?”

“With you in the way? No thanks.”

He scowls at that and flicks your forehead. You yelp in pain and bat his hands away before turning and staring out the window for a bit.

“But all jokes aside, you’re right. I’ve always wanted to travel the world ever since I was little.”

You pause and bite your lip before giving him a suspicious look.

“First off, why are you offering this?”

He rolls his eyes and laughs.

“I just thought it’d be pretty pathetic if you died without ever seeing the world. Plus, I wanted to-”

He stops himself from saying anything else just in time. You stare at him strangely and he brushes you off. It’s your turn to roll your eyes now as you gather the dishes and begin washing them.

I wanted to show you the places I once took you to that you’ve now forgotten, was what he wanted to say. How will you react now that we’ve started over? Will you react with wonder at the dazzling lights of Liyue Harbor? Laugh and dance happily amongst the wide expanse of grassy plains in Mondstadt? Go silent with awe at the solemn rule of the Shogun in Inazuma?

He silently laughs at himself. He’s become weaker ever since he met you all those years ago. Not like he minded.

You’ve finished the dishes and you’re staring at him with an idea brewing in your head.

“So what I’m hearing is an offer for a free vacation with no strings attached.”

Your tone is mischievous and there’s that shit-eating grin on your face he knows all too well. Ena groans and rolls his eyes in faux annoyance.

“If that’s how you want to think of it, then yes.”

You snicker victoriously and it’s all he can do to not go over and (lovingly) flick your forehead as hard as he can.

“But what about money? A trip around the world is going to cost a fortune, right? Plus, there’s my small business I have to worry about. It’s my only means of income…”

Ena waves a hand at you. “Don’t worry about the money. I’ll handle it. Focus on making sure everything’s in order for the house and your business.”

I’ve got more Mora than I know what to do with, thanks to my time in the Fatui.

He looks over his shoulder at you.

“I recommend you pack your bags as soon as possible. We leave when everything is done and ready.”

The first nation he takes you to is Mondstadt, the land of freedom. A warm breeze brushes your skin as you step foot into the city, carrying with it the scent of dandelion wine and the familiar feeling of well-wishes.

The city is so lively. Children and teenagers chase each other down the cobblestone streets. A crowd of people gathers around a small child selling flowers, the sweet fragrance of them making its way over to you. The colorful banners strung overhead between buildings flutter in the wind. A group of adventurers pass by you and give you bright grins.

“A pair of travelers, eh? Welcome to Mondstadt!”

A bard clad in green sings and plays his lyre to a captive audience by the fountain in the city square. The smell of freshly-cooked food from Good Hunter on your left tempts you and through the door, you can hear the clink of bottles being toasted and the cheers of rowdy but good-natured patrons.

You feel Ena tug on your sleeve. He’s grinning at you mischievously.

“Come on, slowpoke, we’re not stopping here. There’s more to see than just the city.”

The next few weeks pass by in a blur.

Soon after your arrival in Mondstadt, he takes you to the Thousand Winds Temple on the eastern coast of Mondstadt as the first stop. Stone arches tower above your head and you have to crane your neck upwards to see the end of the pillars that seem to stretch upward forever. The sheer size of the temple makes you feel almost insignificant, but ivy and fauna have slowly reclaimed it with overgrowth rampant everywhere. It’s nothing more than crumbling ruins at this point, but it must’ve been beautiful centuries ago.

… Still, you’re a little confused as to why he would bring you all the way out here just to see a dilapidated temple.

“Is there a specific reason why you brought us here?”

“Nothing really, other than that it has quite a long history.”

“I didn’t take you for the scholarly type, Ena.”

“Shut up.”

You begin to curiously explore the temple. Parts of it are locked behind gates and no matter what you do, you can’t get them to budge. You manage to climb over some walls onto what appears to be the stairs and take a seat there. From here, you have a better view of the temple and you try to piece together what it used to look like. Eventually, you come to the realization that it must’ve resembled an amphitheater.

Meanwhile, Ena strides across the arena and comes to a stop, facing the sea. His coming here was purely for selfish reasons.

This was where I first met you. I was on a mission in Mondstadt to investigate some strange occurrences that had been happening. Back then, you were still a student in the Akademiya researching these ruins. We had run into each other accidentally and immediately started arguing over some petty matter and were practically at each other’s throats.

He looks over his shoulder to see you attempting to scale a pillar to reach the elemental monument above and quietly laughs at the sight. He’s glad that you can’t see the fond smile stretching across his face.

You’re still the same fool now as you were back then. Some things in life never change, do they?

On another day, he brings you to Starsnatch Cliff late at night. You grumble and curse at him for disturbing your sleep the entire time, to which he tells you to shut up after being chased by monsters several times.

(You keep your mouth shut after that.)

Ena uses his Anemo vision to quickly fly to the edge of the cliff and avoid the grueling upwards hike. You, on the other hand, are forced to make the trek and arrive several minutes later, panting in exhaustion.

“You’re too slow.”

“Not my fault that I don’t have a handy vision to help me out,” you snap back as you take a seat next to him. The cool evening breeze tickles your skin and you lie on your back to see the stars and the moon. There’s not a single cloud in the sky and you can see the arm of the galaxy that stretches across the night sky in a twinkling display of stars and stardust.

“Now I see why you dragged me out this late. The view is beautiful.”

“I told you.”

You glare at him in response and begin picking the Cecilia flowers that grow on the cliff to make a flower crown with them. Ena only rolls his eyes at the action and lies down to look at the sky.

The second time I met you was here, not long after our first encounter. You were doing the same thing- making flower crowns. When I asked you what you were doing, you gave it to me. Quite the bold move, considering I could’ve ended your life at any moment. Although…

He looks back at you lying sprawled out like a starfish in the grass and holding the finished flower crown in your hands. Your eyes meet his gaze and you wordlessly place it on his head. You giggle at the sight and the blush that creeps across his face as he glares at it.

“It suits you! You look even prettier with it.”

Your eyes shine with a mix of amusement and adoration. To Ena, your smile rivals the brilliance of the moon above and he swears he can feel his heart skip a beat all over again.

Although, how could I have even considered that thought? Especially when you looked at me back then the same way you do now?

Midway through your stay in Mondstadt, he brings you to the famed Angel’s Share for some drinks while subsequently making fun of your inability to hold your alcohol.

“What, can’t even handle wine?”

“Shut up,” you cough out- or rather, slur out with the alcohol getting to you. A blue-haired man sitting at the other end of the table pretends to not hear you, but you can see his shoulders shaking as he tries to stifle his laughs.

With the sweet taste of the tavern’s renowned Dandelion Wine, you didn’t expect it to pack that much of a punch. Your face is already flushed and you can feel just how unbearably warm you are. With a groan, you rest your head against the cool surface of the table and sigh in relief. Ena rolls his eyes and finishes the rest of your drink in one go.

“Seriously, how are you still fine after all of those drinks you had? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you have an inhuman alcohol tolerance,” you grumble.

A thin glass of apple cider is placed in front of you by the bartender. You instantly recognize it as a drink for sobering up and Ena cackles at the realization scrawled all over your face.

“Come on. Finish that and we’ll go back to our place.”

He ends up having to carry you on his back. You passed out while you were still in the bar and now you’re sleeping peacefully, occasionally mumbling nonsensical things as you dream. Ena grumbles and curses you out all the while, but it lacks any real scorn.

Many months later, I came back to Mondstadt and found you in a drunken stupor here. You had just dropped out of the Akademiya and were worried about what you’d do now and dreaded having to return to Sumeru. You had drunk so much that you passed out and I ended up having to carry you back to your place.

He looks back at your sleeping figure and sighs.

“The past likes to repeat itself, huh? And your alcohol tolerance hasn’t improved one bit since then.”

Really, it made for a comical sight. The Sixth Fatui Harbinger, capable of striking fear into the hearts of the masses, carrying an Akademiya dropout who’d cried and drank themselves to sleep back to their house like some sort of gentleman? Most people would laugh at that.

His hand grasps yours as he looks back on the past that only he remembers now.

Lost in thought, he misses how you gently squeeze his hand in return.

On the very last day of your stay in Mondstadt, Ena waits until sunset to drag you to the Church of Favonius. He carefully led you around the vigilant eyes of the Knights and passersby until you were at the back of the church. You weren’t expecting this to be your final stop and you stare at him, confused.

“Just trust me, ok?”

You don’t get a chance to respond before he scoops you up into his arms and soars into the air with the help of his vision.

“Wha-hey!” you shout as you nervously flail around. “What’re you doing?”

“Be quiet!” he hisses. “Do you want people to hear us?”

Ena quickly sets you down on a ledge atop a spire and you go silent. From here, you have a perfect view over all of Mondstadt, from the sprawling city before you all the way out to the great oak tree in Windrise and the Statue of the Seven shining beneath it, and everything in between. The skies are clear and Mondstadt is bathed in a rosy pink glow.

“Don’t fall off now,” he teases as you lean forward.

“How did you find this spot?” you ask. He looks off to the side as if embarrassed to admit the truth.

“I saw the Traveler and a girl in red up here one day. They seemed to be enjoying the view so I stowed the idea away for later.”

That was half the truth. Not like you’d remember the other half of it anyway.

You were awfully persistent back then, he thinks as he watches you sneeze when a cluster of dandelion seeds blow past, carried along by the winds. Hanging around with a Fatui Harbinger like it was nothing and having the gall to talk to me like we were equals. I seriously thought you had no sense of danger back then. Or maybe you just had a death wish.

One day, you had offhandedly told me that a view over all of Mondstadt could be seen atop the spires of the Church of Favonius. The look in your eyes implied that you wanted to see it for yourself. You thought it was a great idea. I thought you were insane.

But I managed to make it work after happening to see someone else do it. Late at night, we snuck up here together to go stargazing. We had a beautiful view that night. The sky was clear and all the stars were visible. But it wasn’t the sky or the stars that caught my attention- it was the look in your eyes.

For a moment, I saw everything I ever wanted reflected in them.

You swing your legs in contentment as a flock of birds flies past you. Ena eyes you nervously as you sit precariously close to the edge and reaches out to gently grasp your wrist.

“... Is something the matter?”

“You’re sitting too close to the ledge. Move back a bit.”

“Didn’t know you were such a mother hen.” But you do as he says.

You gaze upon him fondly and there it is again- the look that stole his heart. You looked at him as if he was your entire world. He would do anything to have you look at him like that for just a little while longer.

“(Name)?”

“Yes?”

“Can we stay like this just a little longer?”

“Of course.”

The sky begins to darken and the temperature starts to drop. The people of Mondstadt gradually head home one by one until the streets are deserted, but above it all, you and Ena are lost in your own world- one that only he now remembers.

The seasons have changed. Summer has faded and it’s colder now. The days are shorter, much to your displeasure. Almost all vegetation has died out- the tree branches are stripped bare of leaves and a light dusting of snow from earlier covers the ground. There’s a light crunching sound as you walk, leaving footprints behind.

You shiver as a cold breeze passes by and without missing a beat, Ena gives you his scarf. He wraps it around you and tightens it securely before tugging at your coat zipper to make sure it’s zipped up all the way. He nods in satisfaction.

“Keep it. You need it more.”

You pass by a Statue of the Seven and head down some ice-coated stone steps. The horizon is bright and as you look up from the ground, you see why. Liyue Harbor is aglow with warm orange lights and countless paper lanterns float in the air, scattered throughout the sky.

Ena looks over your shoulder at the glowing port.

“We’re in luck. We made it just in time for the Lantern Rite.”

You hear a smidge of smugness in his voice.

“In luck, you say? Something tells me you planned this,” you tease. Already, you can feel a rush of excitement bubbling up as you grab him by the wrist and pull him along with you toward the city.

“Who knows? Maybe I did.”

The entire harbor is decorated for Liyue’s biggest festival of the year. Red paper lanterns and bundles of firecrackers hang at the corners of businesses and houses alike. Spring couplets and squares of red paper with the character for “fortune” are pasted onto doors everywhere you look. A group of children runs past you waving sparklers to celebrate and the mother of one opens the door to call her child in for dinner.

A storyteller tells the tale of how the Lantern Rite came to be as you run through the stone streets. Aided by the folding screen behind him that depicts a panorama of Liyue in the past, his rich voice and reenactments of scenes captivate his starry-eyed audience that hangs onto every word. An amber-eyed man listens intently, a peaceful expression washing over his handsome face as if he is recalling pleasant memories of days gone by. The sweet scents of steamed rice, caramelized sugars and smoke, and various fragrant spices hit your nose as you pass by a restaurant across the street with a long line of people waiting to order outside. A girl with short blue hair runs out of the kitchen, carrying several plates of food to the establishment with the storyteller.

“Excuse me! Coming through!”

A small stall wedged in the space between the restaurant and another building harks its goods to passersby.

“Cheap and tasty chop suey! Special Lantern Rite deal- half off of everything!”

The path curves down from there, leading to the shipping and loading docks of the port. You go past that toward where everyone is gathered. You gasp and momentarily, you go speechless. It’s simply gorgeous. You have no other way to describe it.

Lotus-shaped lights illuminate the pathway and golden lanterns are strung about, bathing you and Ena in an orange glow. Parasols of every shape and color hang from the scaffolding above, casting shades of color across your faces. An old man off to the side adds some last-minute touches to the giant puppet head that will be used for tonight’s dragon dance. You catch a glimpse of it as you pass by and it is a true labor of love, painstakingly crafted down to the tiniest detail. The performers for said dance rehearse the complicated choreography to your left, running in circles and weaving in and out of each other to the point where your eyes hurt from watching. Stalls and vendors sell a variety of goods- street food, paper lanterns to release into the sky, firecrackers, decorations, toys for children, and flowers with auspicious meanings among many other things.

The heavy crowds and sounds of cheer and festivities make you almost forget about the chilling mid-winter cold. Ena disappears for a second and reappears with a bundle of flowers that he swiftly tucks behind your ear.

“Hmm? What flower is this?”

“They’re peach blossoms.”

You shoot a glance at the pale pink blossoms and smile as a thank-you before returning back to the celebration. He stifles a laugh upon your reaction. Clearly, you were unaware of the symbolism behind the flowers.

Peach blossoms symbolize romance. It’s often gifted by young people, as they believe it will bring romantic luck.

(He mentally thanks Nahida for forcing him to go to school. Some of the stuff he learned there was actually helping him.)

To your right, two girls perform on an illuminated stage, one singing while the other plays the guitar to the thunderous applause of the audience. You sneak past the crowd to admire the Mingxiao lantern the size of a parade float that towers above everyone behind the stage. It depicts a gold and red goose (an Adeptus?) taking to the skies, with the jagged peaks of Liyue in blue behind it. A yellow whole moon partially hides behind the tallest one and wisps of fog obscure the ground and lazily wind around the mountaintops.

The energy of the crowd has been palpable ever since you got here, but it increases now as you look toward where everyone else’s gaze is directed at- the sky.

“Hurry, it’s about to start!”

“Over here, over here! I saved this spot before anyone else could get it!”

Mere moments later, a loud boom goes off and an orange firework explodes in the sky. Then another one. And another one. The fireworks show has started and while they are beautiful, you’re having a difficult time enjoying it while everyone else is jostling for a view. Unfortunately, that means you can’t see much of anything either…

You feel a sharp tug at your wrist and look back to see Ena trying to squeeze his way through the crowd without losing his hat and being crushed alive.

“I know of a spot. Follow me!”

With much difficulty and after almost getting your ribs crushed, you break free of the crowd. Ena hoists you onto his shoulders and speeds through the now-empty streets with the help of his vision, carefully avoiding the Millileth stationed.

“You seem to be enjoying this position,” you offhandedly comment as he squeezes your thighs.

“It’s one of the only ways I can get your lazy ass places,” he says, like the liar he is.

(He secretly just likes the feeling of your thighs around his neck.)

He comes to a stop atop a building on the outskirts of the city and from here, you have a perfect view of the fireworks. Some whirl into a spiral while others slowly shoot straight up as they explode in a glittering multicolored shower. Some fireworks tumble like a waterfall and others pepper the sky in rapid flashes of light that have you seeing stars afterward.

“Isn’t what we’re doing right now technically illegal?” you ask while still keeping your eyes on the firework display. He laughs and you can practically imagine him rolling his eyes.

“Would you rather be here or before where we were practically suffocating to death?”

You laugh as well with a smile on your face. Ena squeezes your hand in his (when did that get there?) while he pulls something out. You look away from the show to see him place a red and gold metal canister between you two. It’s rather similar to the fireworks launchers you saw in the city…

“Ena, don’t tell me you-”

“What, it’s not like they’re going to notice one gone! They’ve got a bunch to spare anyway.”

He motions for you to move away from the canister and pulls out a bamboo tube with a conical cap mounted to a stick. He strikes a match and after lighting the fuse, sticks it into the mortar and moves away. You both cover your ears and after a few seconds, it shoots out with a high-pitched whistling sound before exploding in a golden display that resembles the branches of a weeping willow tree.

“Did you steal the fireworks too?” you ask with a wide grin on your face. He scowls at the question and begins to prepare another one for launch.

“No. I bought them,” he grumbles. The next firework exits the mortar and explodes in the sky. It resembles a white chrysanthemum.

You’ve all but forgotten about the official show as you take turns launching fireworks and creating your own (illegal) display. The official show may be more flashy, but yours has a magic of its own that can’t be recreated.

“Aw, how cute! This firework is shaped like a heart!” you exclaim as you watch it scatter in a shower of pink sparkles. The amount of fireworks being launched from the harbor suddenly increases and you realize it must be the grand finale already.

Ena pulls something out again. Two Mingxiao lanterns. He passes one to you along with a brush and some ink.

“The people of Liyue have a tradition of writing riddles on lanterns during the Lantern Rite,” he explains upon seeing your confusion. “Write whatever you’d like- it doesn’t have to be a riddle- and once the fireworks are over, we’ll release them into the sky, ok?”

He watches you frown and mull over what you want to write, face scrunching up into various expressions of contemplation and hesitation. He internally laughs at the sight before returning to his lantern, brush gliding over the paper with confidence.

I wish for (Name) to accept me for who I am.

And as the last of the fireworks explode in the sky, you and Ena release your lanterns in unison, soaring into the sky and joining the lanterns of everyone else. You lean against his shoulder (when did the distance between you two get so close?) and gaze at your lanterns drifting away.

“What did you wish for?” you ask.

“It’s a secret. I’m not telling you.”

“Fine. I’m not telling you mine either.”

You silently laugh to yourself. You had gotten a glimpse of what he was writing and while it may have been written in the old Inazuman script (most likely to confuse your prying eyes), you were still a former Akademiya student and you still had a decent knowledge of languages. The Inazuman language was one you were proficient in before you dropped out and you could get the general idea of his wish written onto the lantern.

How cute.

And as for what you wrote?

Ena couldn’t help but peek when you were writing. With the light of the fireworks, he had seen what you were written and a long-forgotten emotion erupted in his newly-acquired heart.

I wish for Ena to receive the love he deserves.

The last nation he takes you to is Inazuma.

You had spent a few months in Liyue until the weather warmed up, discovering everything the nation had to offer. You had ventured into the Adepti’s abode in Jueyun Karst, visited the famed turquoise waters of Luhua Pool, and explored the countless ancient ruins scattered throughout the land. At one point, with a letter from the Traveler and special clearance from the Millelith, he takes you to the Chasm. There, you had carefully crossed the creaky wooden walkways with high winds whipping you around and had scaled the high peaks covered with ochre grass and trees with crimson-colored leaves. The gaping maw in the center leading to the Underground Mines had tempted you and there you had stayed for a while, staring down into it.

(He contemplated bringing you there because it had a beauty of its own, but ultimately decided against it due to how dangerous it was.)

Now docked at Ritou Harbor after a long passage across the sea, Ena watches as the sleep disappears from your eyes, only to be replaced by wonder as you take in the silent harbor that is beginning to stir. Ships are anchored along the pier and unloaded. The fishermen are coming back as the sun rises above the horizon and are laying out their catch to sell. Purple banners planted along the boardwalk that are emblazoned with the Electro mitsudomoe proudly signify the reign of the Shogun. Maple trees dot the landscape and Mt. Yougou towers above in the distance with a faint green light emanating from it.

Ena’s eyes narrow and he bites his lip at the familiar sights. Returning to his homeland left him feeling conflicted and while nobody would remember him- namely, the Shogun- unpleasant memories still resurfaced. His abandonment, the place he once called home, and especially now, the regret and rage that fills him as he recalls those he considered family and Dottore who twisted the truth into a lie, ruining his life.

But he casts his thoughts aside. His past no longer defined who he was, especially at this moment. Besides, this was your first time in Inazuma. What kind of tour guide would he be if he couldn’t cast his own prejudices aside?

Long ago, when he was still in the Fatui, you had asked him about his origins.

“Scara, you’re from Inazuma, right?”

“Yeah. What about it?”

“I’ve always wanted to visit the nation. Can you take me there someday?”

“Once the situation there clears up, sure.”

He was never able to fulfill that promise with his previous self. Now, he could finally be true to his word, even if you could no longer remember.

Narukami Island dazzles you with its splendor and tradition everywhere you look. Sakura blooms drift along the warm spring breezes in Inazuma City as you pass by stores selling elaborate kimonos and blacksmiths continuing the art of forging that had been passed down for centuries. Ena proves himself to be quite the knowledgeable tour guide, pointing out cultural relics and small facts that you wouldn’t have known otherwise.

Early on in your stay, Ena pays a visit to the Statue of the Omnipresent God near Tenshukaku. He just… stands there. And gazes up at it. In the short time there, a lifetime of emotions crossed his face. Betrayal, wrath, denial, emptiness, regret, and even acceptance.

(You notice that the statue doesn’t look like the Electro Archon at all. What could it possibly be here for then?)

“Let’s go.”

With a light tug at your wrist and a final glance back at Tenshukaku, he leads you ahead without another look back.

The main attraction aside from the city is the Grand Narukami Shrine. From what you’ve heard, the trek there is long and arduous but worth it for its beauty and view over Inazuma. Ena leads you there through Chinju Forest which takes you onto the shortest route. The forest is tranquil and you hear the sound of running water from the large stream cutting through the forest. Blue flowers glow underneath the moonlight in large clumps and tanuki statues are found everywhere. Red torii gates are scattered throughout and mark pathways.

While the forest is beautiful, it’s also a little eerie. The lack of light and silence creeps you out and Ena has the brilliant idea to tell you ghost stories here, of all places.

“There’s a legend of a yokai that lurks in the forest around here,” he begins. “Care to hear the tale?”

You swat at his arm to silence him. He dodges your hand quickly and smiles impishly at you.

“What? Scared already?”

“Shut up.”

You leave the forest, refusing to speak to Ena and ignoring all of his purposeful attempts to rile you up. A blue-haired girl and her brother stand at the entrance to the lavish estate to your right. She pulls out her folding fan, covering the smile on her face at your petty arguments.

The path leading to the shrine is an arduous trek and not to mention slippery, as it had rained the day before. He has to help you up in some parts where there are no stairs, lest you slip and fall. The steps are steep and the path winding around the mountain seems never-ending. After much grumbling and pleading on your part, Ena finally agrees to carry you on his back.

“Thank you…”

“Stop being lazy,” he retorts. You rest your cheek against his shoulder and he immediately goes silent. Your hand brushes against his and in an uncharacteristically bold move, Ena grasps it and squeezes lightly. A light giggle escapes you. His hand is delicate and soft against yours, much like a doll’s.

At that moment, he’s glad you can’t see the blush dusting his cheeks.

But the rumors were right- the view is indeed gorgeous from here. Ena stops at one point and you peer over his shoulder to see the landscape of Inazuma. Jagged boulders float in midair with sakura trees planted for decoration and lanterns to aid shrine-goers in the dead of night. The vast blue sea that seals off Inazuma from the rest of the world stretches as far as the eye can see with several smaller islands and shipwrecks dotting the landscape. Chōchin lanterns hang from the branches of trees, swaying lightly in the wind and scattering sakura petals. Some red foxes are resting at the bottom of the stairs and come up to cautiously sniff at Ena. He leans down to pet them for a bit, allowing you to do the same, before continuing.

As you ascend the stairs winding around the mountain, you pass through countless torii gates with red tōrō lanterns and shoji lamps decorated with the symbol of the shrine flanking your sides and realize the shrine must be just up ahead. And indeed, that hypothesis proves to be true as Ena finishes climbing the last set of stairs and stops in front of the shrine. He takes his hat off and you hop off his back.

The shrine is awe-inspiring. It’s larger than you thought it’d be and built from red lacquered wood with chōchin lanterns hanging from the eaves of the roof. Two thick shimenawa ropes with shide papers attached to them stretch across the entrance and the small body of water the shrine is built upon reflects the early morning sky above. Sessha shrines line the outskirts with various offerings and resemble miniature versions of the Grand Narukami Shrine.

As you take in the sights of the shrine and the view of Inazuma from above, Ena looks around cautiously, hoping that a certain meddling pink kitsune wouldn’t show up.

What a nuisance that’d be, he thinks as he squints against the sun’s rays. He quickly picks up on your confusion as you look around, unsure of what to do.

“Relax,” he says, taking your hand in his. “I’ll guide you through the whole process.”

Ena leads you through everything, from purification to burning incense. At that stage, he had asked you if you had any injuries. You had looked at him strangely and he explained that some people fan the smoke toward themselves for healing purposes.

“Oh, that’s interesting,” you said. “But I’m fine, so there’s no need to.”

You miss how he fans the smoke toward his heart when you turn away. He stares at his Anemo vision for a split second before returning to your side.

You’re staring at the large bell attached to a bundle of multicolored cords hanging from the ceiling. He steps forward and shakes it, making the bell chime loudly. You watch closely as he drops some Mora into the offertory box before bowing twice, clapping twice, and then standing straight with his hands joined in a prayer position. You then do the same, albeit with less confidence.

“Hey,” you whisper. He peeks an eye open. “What do I pray for?”

“Anything,” he whispers back. “Good health, fortune, success at school-”

You roll your eyes.

“- or even luck in romantic relationships.”

You look off to the side at that one, hoping he doesn’t see how the tips of your ears are flushed.

Ena closes his eyes again and thinks for a bit about what else to pray for. He had already wished for acceptance from you during the Lantern Rite. Just now, he had prayed for your health and the safety of Sumeru, along with wishes of well-being for Lesser Lord Kusanali. What else was there?

(He had contemplated praying for Dottore’s downfall but ultimately decided that wouldn’t be appropriate within a shrine setting.)

Pray for (Name) to fall in love with you again, says the voice in his head. You did tell them that praying for romantic luck was common among shrine-goers, so why not do that yourself?

Ah.

Ena feels his face heat up and his heart starts pounding rapidly. With a light shake of his head, he clears his mind.

I wish for (Name) to fall in love with me again. I have already lost Niwa, Katsuragi, the rest of my family in Tatarasuna, and the fledgling child who was just like me long ago. After wandering across the world for several centuries, I long for a place to call home now.

Archons above, I am a changed man now. Please, allow me to have the simple joys of love and solace.

Your trip is nearing its end. The days are much longer now and the weather considerably, almost unbearably at times, warmer.

Now in the last leg of your journey, Ena gazes out at the sea aboard the boat carrying him to your last destination, Kannazuka Island. The last time he went back to Inazuma was during the Vision Hunt Decree to retrieve the Electro Gnosis and that was on orders from the Tsaritsa, plus that was restricted to Narukami Island only. Ever since the disaster that had befallen Tatarasuna, he hadn’t gone back out of fear and shame.

And that is who he really is. A man who was ashamed of his past and afraid of witnessing the consequences of his actions. Ignorance is bliss, yet that belief was unable to prevent the shield of scorn and egotism he had built up for himself from crumbling down in an instant in Sumeru, the cracks that had been forming for a long time now exposed and the truth finally revealed.

How pathetic, mocks the voice in his head that never seems to go away- perhaps the only remnant of his former self. Look at who you’ve become. How weak. What a disappointment. Such activities are beneath you, yet why do you indulge them with your divine presence?

Shut it, he thinks. Enough of you. My roots may be divine, but they have no influence on who I am today. I am a different person now, whether you like it or not.

Ena looks around him and sighs. He had sworn to never return to this nation that he harbored only bitterness and bad memories toward. He had cursed the Archon’s name and denounced her reign, laughed at her frivolous pursuit of eternity, yet here he was once again.

The prodigal son had finally made a return home.

Love really makes people weak, doesn’t it?

The boat gently comes to a stop against the shoreline of Nazuchi Beach. Rotting shipwrecks and driftwood litter the white sands and warm shallow waters. Faded and frayed war banners lie half-buried in the sand with arrowheads embedded everywhere you look- the only remains of the several bloody wars that were waged here.

You hop off the boat, eager to explore what lies ahead, while Ena lingers for a bit to gather his thoughts. Already, he can see the familiar silhouette of the furnace and its purple glow in the distance. An unfamiliar feeling of dread settles in his stomach, twisting and turning anxiously. But dallying and wasting time will not change the outcome of anything.

And so with bated breath, he leads the way. Passing through the entrance that leads to Tatarasuna, the full scale of the site becomes apparent. In the middle, a floating rock formation hovers above the water and is linked to the rest of the island via walkways that are now rotting and falling apart. A strange purple glow radiates from the center. The houses built have long since been abandoned, their windows dark and empty. Hovering above it all is the Mikage Furnace. Although it was shut down a long time ago, small sparks of Electro are still intermittently emitted from it.

The ancient machinery quietly creaks in the wind. The air feels electric with the heavy concentration of Electro energy present, making his hair stand on end. Carts filled with iron ore lie off to the side, looking as if they were haphazardly abandoned. He can’t help but feel a little remorseful at the sorry state the place is in now.

There is one last task for him to finish here- one that he should have completed long ago.

Better late than never, he thinks as he rummages around for a sword of some sort that may have been miraculously left behind. Most of what was here has been pillaged by the Fatui; he recognizes their handiwork- sloppy and inconsiderate, but by a stroke of luck, he finds one.

Meanwhile, you investigate what’s nearby. Soon into your investigation, you find some yellowed notes scattered about. The age of the notes has made the words rather difficult to decipher and the elements have worn away much of the original content.

… We at last made a single nagamaki. We call it the Daitatara Nagamasa. The Inspector was in high spirits, and he and the Vice Armory Officer… Nozomu was so taken by the beauty of the Daitatara Nagamasa that he drew a picture of it.

The Inspector flew into a rage and slashed Katsuragi. The great blade cut deep into the flesh… cast his own nagamaki into the furnace’s flame… Nozomu could not abide by that order, and drew the completely melted weapon out of the furnace… He was horribly burned.

… Nozomu died that night. I daresay that while Sir Katsuragi may have committed malfeasance, it was out of the goodness of his heart.

“(Name), can you go pick some flowers for me?”

His question comes suddenly and unexpectedly. You look up from the notes you are reading. He holds a rusted sword in his hand and gives it a few experimental swings. You soundlessly nod and disappear.

There are some old polishing stones lying beneath a table and he gets to work. It’s the first time he’s touched a blade in 500 years, yet in his mind, he’s transported back to the moment he learned how to forge and polish swords under the watch of Niwa and the others. Their gentle guidance from ages ago resurfaces, guiding him through the sacred process. Bit by bit, the rust is scrubbed away and its original sheen is restored. It is difficult work, but it’s cathartic. It feels like he’s making amends for his past actions.

After wiping away the last few drops of water, the sword is now finished. It shines brilliantly without a speck of rust showing. The handguard and hilt have been cleaned thoroughly and it looks as good as new.

Ena walks over to a grassy spot near the water and digs a small hole, where he places a few items before covering it up again. Some small candies, cigarettes, six coins for safe passage to the afterlife, a white kimono, and a pair of sandals.

He drives the sword into the soft earth. He tugs it a few times to ensure it won’t budge before pulling out some sticks of incense and lighting them. The woody smell with hints of spice and resin is carried through the air.

On your way back now, you smell something spicy and familiar drifting from the direction of the furnace.

Incense?

“I’m back now,” you call out. “What did you need these-”

The lit incense sticks, the sword stuck in the ground, his head bowed. The realization hits you instantly.

So this is why he asked me to gather flowers. It’s a memorial- a grave.

Dendrobiums, stalks of Naku Weed, Sea Ganodermas you had harvested in the shallow beach waters, and deposits of Crystal Marrow are arranged around the symbolic tomb in the best flower arrangement your limited skills could make.

“Thank you,” he whispers as you kneel next to him.

“Who is it for?”

“Everyone,” he says, gesturing around him. “It’s for everyone who was here.”

Ena looks up from the ground and for a second, he thinks he’s gone back in time. The sun shines, bathing the abandoned mine in golden light. The fires in the furnace are stoked and plumes of smoke drift out of the tall chimney. Katsuragi smelts the red-hot steel in the tatara while Niwa hammers and folds the cooling metal. The residents of Tatarasuna, people from all walks of life, children and elders alike, live their lives with joy and pride.

Ah, it’s been so long since he’s last seen them, yet he can still remember their faces clearly as if he never left.

One of them- a child- sees him out of the corner of his eye. He says something- no words can be heard but Ena reads his lips.

Look, Kabukimono is back!

One by one, the rest of the residents take notice of him. They each bear varied expressions on their faces weathered by hard work- some cover their mouths with their eyes blown wide in surprise, others heave a deep sigh of relief with smiles stretching across their faces, while others have tears of joy prickling at the corners of their eyes.

Archons, it’s been so long since I’ve last seen him.

Tell us what you’ve been up to lately! I’m sure you have many stories to share.

My, look at how handsome he is now!

The ward we took in has now finally grown up.

It makes me so proud to see him like this.

There’s a tight feeling in his chest as he stumbles forward toward the sea of familiar faces, beckoning him with warm smiles and welcoming arms. He lurches forward again, and three pairs of warm hands as fleeting as a feather lightly brush over his shoulder, steadying him. Looking up, he sees the familiar faces of Niwa, Katsuragi, and Nagamasa. They beam at him, not a hint of betrayal or anger present in their smiles.

Ena’s heart seizes up in his chest. What does he say in a situation like this?

Did you find your heart at last?

“... Yes,” he finally answers.

“It was here all along.”

We’ve missed you.

Crying is for the weak. It is a useless display of emotions. That is what he has told himself repeatedly throughout his life.

And yet, he can’t help the tears that threaten to spill over.

He rushes forward, longing for one last chance to make amends. They surround him in a warm embrace, murmuring words of reassurance as the tears finally spill over.

“I’m sorry!” he chokes out. “I should have been there! I shouldn’t have run away!”

A strong gust of wind blows through the clearing and the ghosts of Tatarasuna waver, their images beginning to fade and dissipate in specks of golden light.

His blood runs cold in terror.

No, not yet! There’s still so much I want to say- so much I want to apologize for!

The sound of gentle laughter is carried along with the wind and as the last of their shimmering visages fade away, he hears their final words.

What do you mean, Kabukimono?

We forgave you long ago.

It was never your fault to begin with.

You are our pride and joy.

This is goodbye now. But we, the residents of Tatarasuna you considered family, will always be with you.

We can now move on safely to the afterlife.

We can now rest after seeing our little Kabukimono at peace with himself.

Thank you for returning home one last time.

The last of their afterimages vanish, leaving nothing behind. The sun retreats behind the clouds once more, the clearing now cloudy as it was before. But at last, Ena feels at peace- as if a great burden had finally been lifted from his shoulders. The unfinished task from centuries ago had finally been completed.

“Let’s go home now, (Name).”

Ena has been acting strange lately.

On the way back, he kept pacing back and forth. He had kept toying with his Anemo vision and staring at the sky. When he thought you were asleep, he would hold you tightly in his arms as if he was afraid to lose you. You would catch him with his hands clasped together and praying when he thought you weren’t looking.

But praying to who exactly?

At last, you are at home in Sumeru again. It is late at night now, and the streets are silent. Most of the residents are asleep except for a few late-night stragglers coming home from work or the tavern. That night, you fell into a deep sleep and for the first time ever since you were a child, you dreamt.

But much to your surprise, you see Ena and Lesser Lord Kusanali in your dream soon after falling asleep. This feels vaguely familiar and something tells you this was done on purpose.

“Welcome back,” she says. “How was your trip?”

“Fine. I enjoyed it,” he responds.

She giggles. “That’s good to hear. I take it that your goal is complete and that you got to tie up some loose ends?”

“You could say that.”

The little Archon turns her attention to you now. Her eyes peer at you curiously and you get the vague feeling that she can read your mind.

“You must be (Name). You’re a smart cookie- smarter than people give you credit for. I’m sure you’ve wondered what you and Ena are to each other at least once by now.”

“There’s been a few hints dropped here and there throughout our journey that made me question the nature of our relationship or who we once were,” you admit.

“But I can’t help but wonder what happened to… ”

You gesture at the space between you and Ena.

“... Us?”

A translucent green box materializes between her hands. It glows and floats, emitting specks of Dendro energy intermittently.

“Please suspend disbelief for a moment, as what I’m about to say may sound unrealistic. This box you see here is a copy of his memories from his creation up until recently. It contains the true, unaltered version of history.”

Creation? Copy of his memories? The unaltered version of history?

A thousand questions swirl inside your mind, waiting to be asked, yet they all dissipate at her next question.

“Do you wish to remember the past?”

You hesitantly look at Ena. He turns away as if he is ashamed of meeting your gaze.

“This decision is all up to you,” she adds. “Rest assured that whatever you choose will not affect your relationship with Ena. He has told me that himself.

“But please bear in mind that in his past life, Ena was what many would consider as ‘evil’. He had committed countless crimes and many people had died because of him. With this preface, do you still wish to remember the past?”

You glance at Ena again, who is still avoiding your gaze. The delicate balance of your relationship hangs on the line. Was it even worth knowing the truth? You were perfectly content with the way things were as of now.

… But the voice in the back of your head urges you to dig deeper and uncover the truth.

“I still do. Please, show me everything.”

Ena winces slightly, bracing himself for the worst.

“Very well then.”

The green box slowly drifts toward you before suddenly slamming into your chest. You let out a choked gasp, your vision slowly going dark as all his memories begin to flood your mind. The last thing you hear is Ena’s concerned question.

“Will they be alright?”

“It’s the same as when you regained your memories,” replies Lesser Lord Kusanali. “They’ll be in for a shock but will ultimately emerge with a newfound understanding of who you are.”

“Set him free?”

“A puppet? What’s he doing here…”

“You’re a human as far as I’m concerned.”

“What a fine blade! Nagamasa will be thrilled.”

“He took it straight from the chest of one of his innocent servants.”

“What a joke… it’s just ashes… nothing left but ashes.”

“Are you deaf or just stupid?”

“Hey!”

That’s the sound of your own voice. In the midst of his memory space, you freeze. The version of yourself you see is one from several years ago, back when you were still in the Akademiya. The sight of the green uniform and beret sends a wave of nostalgia through your heart. Ena resembles the version of himself you saw in the photo at your house- dressed in shades of dark purple and black with accents of red and gold.

“What did you want to tell me? You dragged me out here late at night so it better be worth-”

“I hate you.”

“Excuse me?”

“I hate you,” he repeated. “Everything about you annoys me greatly. You can’t handle your alcohol, yet you still insist on having drinks every week. I can’t tell if you’re idiotic or-”

“It’s Mondstadt, what else am I supposed to do here? And why is it that you carry me home on your back each time without fail?”

“Because you’d look pretty pathetic otherwise. I’d get secondhand embarrassment if I didn’t do something about it.”

You rolled your eyes at his remarks.

“Your taste in music sucks and you always have the strangest ideas. Seriously, where do you even come up with-”

“If you think they’re so strange, then why did you agree to dance with me in the town square yesterday? Entertain my silly idea of participating in the festival that was happening last week even though, in your opinion, you thought it was ‘stupid and a waste of time?’ Although, it looked like you were having fun as well…”

“...That’s beside the point. You also talk too much. It hurts my ears just listening to you sometimes.”

“Is that why you were glaring at the guy I was chatting with the other day?”

“No- I mean, yes.”

The look on your face tells him you don’t believe his blatant lie one bit.

“I can’t think properly when you’re around me,” he snapped in an attempt to change the subject. “You make me feel strange and I hate it. Whenever your eyes linger on me, I feel strangely exposed. When you touch me, my skin burns and I can’t breathe for some strange reason. You wear your heart on your sleeve but you’re also difficult to understand. I can’t figure you out for the life of me. You cry and laugh when you’re mad, but when you’re actually upset, you hide your tears and go silent. You’re a walking contradiction, which makes me even more confused as to why I feel this- hey, why are you laughing?”

He glared at your figure shaking with laughter and a clear expression of understanding written all over your face.

“Nothing, it’s just… I think we both know why you’re feeling this way, Scara,” you whispered as you leaned in to cup his cheek. He shied away from your touch but still accepted it.

“Don’t make me say it,” he grumbled quietly. “It’s embarrassing.”

He closed his eyes and leaned into your hand cradling his cheek.

“But it’s the truth, is it not? In that case, what is there to be embarrassed about?”

“But…”

You’re so close to him that he could feel the soft exhale of your breath tickle his cheek. He looked away, avoiding eye contact with you, but he could still feel your burning gaze of adoration on his skin.

“Say it,” you breathed. “I want to hear you say those three words, Scara.”

“... You are the one I hold dearest to my heart,” he finally whispered. “You are my first and only love.”

The gap between you closes. He saw the moonlight reflected in your irises clearly and your eyes glimmering with hope, heard the way your breath hitched in anticipation. As his lips brushed against yours, he finally whispered those three words you’d been longing to hear.

“I love you.”

With a start, you are brought back to reality. Lesser Lord Kusanali and Ena watch you with concern in their eyes.

“Welcome back,” begins the former. “How do you feel with this newfound information?”

“A little overwhelmed,” you admit. “But everything makes much more sense now.”

You turn your attention toward Ena, who eyes you warily much like a stray cat would.

“Well then? What is your verdict?” he snaps harshly. “Going to abandon me the same way my mothe- my creator did?”

“Quite the opposite, actually.”

You mull over your words momentarily, wondering where even to begin.

“What do you do with a broken doll?” you finally ask. Ena looks at you strangely, like he wasn’t expecting you to open with that starter of all possible options.

“Do you fill in the cracks with gold to embrace its flaws? Paint over it to hide the defects underneath? Give it a newer and stronger shell? Or perhaps discard it entirely in favor of a new one? From what I saw, you’ve cycled through all those options haven’t you, Ena?”

He looks away.

“Like the Inazuman art of kintsugi, you tried to embrace your defects when you were still known as Kabukimono. Despite being considered flawed, you still attempted to show how beautiful and strong you could be. During your time in the Fatui when you were known as the Balladeer, you hid that part of yourself underneath a veil of arrogance, hating how weak you were despite said weakness being something your first self saw as a sign of strength more than anything. As the Everlasting Lord of Arcane Wisdom or Shouki no Kami, the Prodigal, you quite literally gave yourself a stronger shell in your attempt to ascend to godhood. But despite the grandness of it all, it was nothing more than a cheap veneer on the same self-loathing that brought everything crashing down when you were so close to everything you had ever hoped for.”

You reach your hands out and intertwine them with his.

“In such cases where all other options have failed, starting over is the best decision. The neglect and decay that have accumulated over several hundred years will be purged and a new healthy base made from only the purest of white wood will be used.”

You squeeze his hands lightly.

“Sometimes, you have to let those parts of yourself go. Otherwise, you will never obtain happiness. By discarding who you once were, you’ve healed and learned how to atone for your actions.

“You’ve changed for the better, Ena. The metaphorical blood on your hands has been washed clean. So then why should I abandon you? For abandoning you who I once loved, still love, and will continue to love means invalidating all your past struggles and how much you’ve changed. What kind of lover would I be if I did that?”

Lesser Lord Kusanali claps and smiles.

“That was a good use of metaphors, (Name). I liked it!”

Ena lets out a long sigh of relief and tips his head back. He hadn’t cried ever since his creation 500 years ago but now, he was filled with the overwhelming urge to cry. There’s a burning sensation at the back of his eyes and he fights the urge to release everything he had been holding back.

Is this what people called tears of joy?

“Thank you, (Name).”

What once was has now been rediscovered, no longer consigned to a thing of the past. That which he had longed for was now finally in his arms. Ena closes his eyes and pulls you into a hug. It’s a wonderful feeling- forgiveness and love.

Maybe, just maybe, he can now finally be at peace with himself.

[theother-victoria]

mille-feuilles have never tasted so sweet

SYNOPSIS: an ice-skating outing with your girlfriend takes a very sweet turn

CHARACTERS: furina

NOTES: for @reilly34 as part of favonius library's secret santa event- I hope you enjoy!

The holidays in Fontaine have always been a special occasion. The air always smelled of freshly-baked desserts and hot cocoa within the city and by Lady Furina’s orders, the streets were to always be decorated. Lampposts, trees, and archways would be covered in lights. The aquabuses would receive a fresh coat of paint and large ribbons that would flutter in the wind while the Melusines would receive a special holiday uniform as they ferried curious visitors in and out of the city. 

(“Let the children of Fontaine be merry!” she would say. “‘Tis a joyous occasion worth celebrating. It is only just that I, their great archon, give the people what they want during these special times!” Or something along those lines.)

Even though Lady Furina has abdicated the throne, it seems as if her wish to spread some holiday cheer continued to live on. Quartier Lyonnais is busier than ever with people doing their holiday shopping. (a large Blubberbeast plushie on display makes you pause. It would make a nice present for her. You mentally remind yourself to buy it later today if it's still in stock.) Boulangeries and patisseries are drawing large crowds from their mouthwatering goods. You make the impulsive decision to snag some holiday-themed mille-feuilles that are on sale for Furina. She’d like them for sure.

You circle around the area in front of the Palais Mermonia, which had been converted into a public outdoor skating rink with the help of some Cryo vision holders. It’s crowded with families and their children. Past that and a block down is a quieter residential area where the former archon’s apartment is. Though the curtains are drawn, you can see that a light is on inside. She’s been acting nonchalant about your visit all week but as you approach the front door, you can hear her muffled pacing and talking to herself.

“Do these boots…? No, they clash with my coat. How about…?”

You knock and you hear her startled yelp.

“Lady Furina, dear. It’s me,” you call out. “I hope I haven’t kept you waiting too long.” 

You can hear her scramble to get the door and a moment later, the door flies open to reveal your dearest Furina. 

“Perfect timing! I need your help on deciding what to wear.”

You walk inside and place the bag of freshly-baked desserts on the coffee table. (You don’t miss how her eyes follow your every move and light up once she smells what’s inside.) 

“Hmm… I don’t think my taste in fashion could ever compare to you, Miss Furina de Fontaine.”

“Naturally,” she declares, her head held high in the air. But the facade quickly melts away, revealing the mellowed-out and humbled person your girlfriend had become.

“But I’d say you come a very close second. Now, tell me what I should wear.”

“Just choose something that’ll be easy to slip on and off. I have faith in your aesthetics so I’m not too worried about that.” 

She looks at you strangely. You shoot her a little wink.

“You’ll see why.”

“So, what’s this all about?”

“I wanted to do something for the holidays, but I know big crowds aren’t your thing anymore.”

You walk by the public outdoor skating rink from earlier and you don’t miss how she hides behind you. Luckily, everyone was too busy having fun to notice their former archon just a few feet away from them. 

“... But that doesn’t change the fact that I still want to do something special for you. Come on, we’re heading outside the city.”

With a gentle tug, you pull her along with you. You weave between the streets and alleyways, eventually ending up on the outskirts of the city. After consulting your map, going in circles several times, and getting lost at one point, you eventually arrive at your destination: a beach on the northwestern coast of Fontaine. The sand is covered by thick sheets of snow and the water has frozen over. 

You stride toward the waters and test out the thickness of the ice. Meanwhile, Furina looks at you as if you’ve lost your mind.

“... But there’s nothing here?”

“Nothing here but the two of us, and that was the point. I wanted this to be a moment shared only between us and no one else.”

You grab your pair of ice skates and toss your bag to her. Catching it, she realizes there’s a pair inside for her too. 

“I-Ice skating?” she stammers. “But I’ve never done this before…”

“Never thought I’d hear you say those words,” you say as you lace your skates up. “What happened to the Furina I know, who learned surfing in record time despite not having any experience with it beforehand?”

Your Cryo vision, which had been resting dormant atop the back of your hand, comes to life with a bright glow. Thick ice spreads out before your foot and you harshly stomp on it- it doesn’t even budge and with how cold it is, the ice should last. 

“Besides, I’m here as well. Do you trust me?”

Without hesitation, she grabs your outstretched hands with both of hers. 

“With my life now that I’m mortal.”

“Then, keep your eyes on me.”

You slowly glide along the ice, pulling her with you. The ice generated by your vision spreads out until it extends as far as your eye can see. It’s calm and quiet, only disrupted by the sounds of your skates against ice.

Furina’s legs start to wobble and her hand begins to slip out of your grasp. Without missing a beat, you 

After some time, you can tell she’s getting used to the rhythm of skating and has even tried mimicking your movements with some guidance from you.

(“Try to mirror my footwork. Think of it as a dance. I move back, you move forward.”)

“I’m going to let go of you now, ok?”

She nervously nods and… promptly falls on her ass the moment you let go of her hands. Naturally, you help her up but not before laughing a bit first. 

“That hurt,” she whines as you lift her back up onto her feet.

“Need my help again?”

She furiously shakes her head.

“No. I want to learn how to do this by myself.”

She dusts herself off and tries skating again on shaky legs, like a newborn foal. Knowing how stubborn she can be, you leave her to her devices, only returning every time you hear a loud yelp and a thud before lifting her off the ice again. 

“(Name), look! I think I’m getting it!”

You look back to see your girlfriend skating her way toward you- slowly and shakily- but still doing it nonetheless.

A light snow begins to fall overhead. It’s just the two of you skating in lazy figure-eights. You pull her to a stop and point toward the city where even out here, you can see Fontaine all decorated and lit up for the holidays. 

“Look at how beautifully Fontaine shines,” she whispers, her shoulders bumping against yours.

“Look at how beautifully you shine,” you respond. It’s true. Underneath the moonlight, her white hair shines like silver and the blue streaks shimmer like the ice beneath your feet.  Your dearest Furina looks like those legendary water nymphs you’d read about in storybooks as a child, renowned for their bewitching beauty. 

I am so lucky to call her mine. What did I do to deserve her?

I am so lucky to call them mine. What did I do to deserve them?

The walk back is a joyous one. It’s getting late and stores are beginning to close down. You pass by the shop you saw earlier selling the Blubberbeast plushie and remembering your mental note from earlier, you stop in to buy it for Furina. Was it pricey? Yes. But did seeing the starry-eyed look on your girlfriend’s face make the hefty price tag worth it? Also yes.

You come to a stop in front of her apartment, the street lamp flickering to life above you. 

“I’ll be heading home now, Furina. Good night, and-”

“Wait.”

You look back to see your girlfriend glancing off to the side with an adorable pout and flush on her cheeks. 

“... Can I have a kiss?”

You laugh lightly at her request and in a few strides, you’re standing in front of her again. 

“Haven’t I already told you? You don’t need to ask.”

Only the light snow is witness to your shared kiss. Her lips are soft and they taste like peppermint and dark chocolate. They’re just as cold as yours from the freezing winter winds. 

When you finally pull away from each other, gasping for air, you rest your forehead against hers, warming her hands up in your equally-cold ones.

“Did you sneak a bite of the dessert I brought you?”

“When you weren’t looking,” she cheekily replies. Her expression softens, losing all its playfulness as her sincerity shows through.

“Thank you, (Name). For the first time, the holidays don’t feel as lonely anymore.”

She giggles. 

“I’ve always liked mille-feuilles, but I never knew they could taste so sweet.” 

[theother-victoria]

all stars must die one day masterlist

SYNOPSIS: the birth of a star is one to be celebrated. the life of one is filled with strife. even if a comet returns years after it has been lost, it too will one day die, but it will be reborn from its ashes and gases in the form of newborn stars.

STATUS: ongoing

CHAPTER INDEX:

01. all stars must die one day

02. graduation trip

03. apotheosis of a star's final moments

[theother-victoria]

“Do you know why hugs are so beautiful? Because the right side of you does not have a heart, so it is empty, and when you hug you will have a heart on both sides.”

CHARACTER(S): Kaveh

TAGS: some angst, fluff <3, gn reader, I typed this out in one sitting on my phone so it isn’t proofread

NOTES: an offering for the prettiest man in the game bc I cannot get him out of my head <3 this quote is so Kaveh I can’t explain why

Kaveh has always been a romantic at heart.

He pours his whole soul into his work, feels the pain of others on a deeper level as if it torments him personally, and cries his troubles to you over a glass of wine on Friday nights.

(“Kaveh,” you’d whisper. “Drowning your sorrows in alcohol isn’t a good idea.”

“I know,” he’d slur out. “Just… just this once, ok?”)

Sometimes, he thinks he was cursed to feel, to hurt, too much. It proved to be a double-edged sword, for he hated it for the pain it caused him, yet he knew that in the Land of Wisdom, where pragmatism and knowledge were valued above all, a romantic and artistic heart was indeed a rare thing to come by- perhaps even something to be treasured.

For artists were the heralds of change long before the age of scholars and academics.

It’s another one of those nights, where everything is all-too overwhelming and all he seeks is the comfort of your arms.

Now curled up in your lap and his head resting on your chest, he feels you idly card your fingers through his thick blond hair. He tilts his head to the left and leans into your touch, much like how a cat would.

He feels you gently poke his cheeks and lazily opens his eyes to see mischief twinkling in your eyes.

“Kaveh,” you begin. “Do you know why hugs are so beautiful?”

He sits upright now, facing you.

“No, I don’t. Why?”

Your hand stretches out to gently draw shapes on his chest.

“It’s because the right side of you does not have a heart, so it is empty,” you explain as your fingertips lightly brush over his bare skin, tracing hearts and leaving goosebumps in their wake. They drum over the right side of his chest before you pull him into a soft hug.

“And when you hug, you will have a heart on both sides.”

Kaveh feels himself freeze, feels the steady beat of your heart, feels and hears your soft breathing, the rise and fall of your chest- feels the indescribable amount of love he holds for you swelling up inside of him.

At a loss for words, he can only resort to burying his face into your neck, blinking away the tears that threaten to fall from his eyes.

“Do you feel complete now?”

“Yes, I do. I’ve always felt complete around you.”

Perhaps a sensitive heart was not a bad thing if it meant he could experience the joy of being with you every day.

[theother-victoria]

BLACK GOLD- A GENSHIN IMPACT X READER SERIES

SYNOPSIS: After witnessing a shady dealing involving the Shogun, you pledge your loyalty to the Shogunate in exchange for sparing your life. But crime taints everything it touches, and not everything that glitters is gold. As you advance through the ranks of the Shogunate and grow closer to the Shogun herself, you begin to wonder if you are the same person you thought you were.

TAGS: Modern au, crime au, enemies to lovers, slow burn, fluff w/angst

CHAPTERS: (will be updated)

NOTES: This is an open ended series, so as new regions and characters are added, new chapters will be added. There is no specific pairing- rather, all of them are implied.

The taglist is open! Comment on this post to be added

TAGLIST: @astranne @coco-goat-milk @amazingblogname @lxry-chxn @just-here-reading @serossidechick @jiminscarmex @salvationprodigy @avyliaa

[theother-victoria]

numba 9 for your ask game !

Now playing: mice on Venus by c418

Hihi Kyo!! Sorry this took so long!

Zhongli isn’t sure when he started feeling this way.

Lately, there’s been a strange feeling in the back of his mind, like an itch he can’t scratch. It’s the urge to get up and do something, search for something.

But searching for what?

He finds himself frequenting certain spots in Liyue more often now. Yaoguang Shoal, Luhua Pool, and Qingce Village are the ones he can recall off the top of his head, but there are others. They are all places that he is obviously familiar with as the ex-archon, but ones that he didn’t have much history with.

At each of these places, that strange feeling fades temporarily and it feels as if he’s halfway there to discovering whatever he is searching for. The scent of wild bamboo shoots brings back memories of him cooking in the kitchen with someone, but their face is blurry in his memories for some strange reason. He recalls a painting of Luhua Pool that someone gifted to him. He remembers the hands that painted it- smooth and slender and covered with specks of dried paint, but he can’t put a name or a face to them.

If he concentrates hard enough, he can remember the fact that he likes to hold them, marveling at how small and soft they are compared to his. It’s been a while since the last time he got to do that, though…

The sea breeze tickles his cheeks and tousled his hair as he strolls along in the sand. As the sun sets, he absentmindedly picks up a seashell and holds it to his ear. He expects to hear nothing, only for his eyes to widen in surprise when he hears something akin to a laugh and a whispered “I love you”.

He pulls it away from his ear and listens to it again after a few seconds, but nothing is heard. With some disappointment, he sets it down and looks up.

It may be that his eyes are just playing tricks on him, but for a moment, he thinks he sees the shadows of two people running through the shallow waters and holding hands.

Qingce Village is beautiful, especially so at night when the Glaze Lillies unfurl their petals to face the gentle moonlight. Zhongli hums a familiar tune under his breath that he has since forgotten the origins of. It reminds him of how you’d always love to sing to-

Ah.

So that was it. That’s who he was searching for.

Once upon a time, he fell in love with you. You’d spend your days together, grateful to spend the limited time you had together with him. You’d paint whatever you found interesting and gift then to him, dance and play at the beach, and sing to flowers after he told you the story behind Glaze Lillies. Now, all he has of you are your paintings that are slowly decomposing despite his best preservation efforts and memories of you that strangely enough, lack your presence.

But as soon as he recalls who you were, your face blurs in his mind again.

What did they look like again? Ah, who was I thinking about just now?

Zhongli chases after the fleeting trails of those thoughts, much like how one would after a vivid dream. They slip away from his grasp and he is left there, wondering what to do next.

He gets up and takes a step forward, the first of many.

He just supposes he’ll keep looking until he finds it again.

[theother-victoria]

“WANNA PLAY A GAME?”

SYNOPSIS: You’re bored and Heizou seems to be losing his touch lately, so you play a simple game of hide-and-seek to test him.

TAGS: very steamy towards the end but nothing NSFW, (y/n) likes to tease Heizou, (y/n) works as a forensic scientist in this, Heizou is a little shit, I am down bad for this man

This work was inspired by this lovely fanart!

It’s a quiet day at the police station. Most people are relaxing in their offices, trying to find a way to kill time. Occasionally, Tenryou Commission officers stop in to hand in reports or a tourist will ask for directions, but other than that, it’s peaceful.

And you’re bored out of your mind.

There’s nobody in the hall as you walk towards your lover’s office to see what he’s up to. The late afternoon sun spills through the windows and you can see out onto the main street of Inazuma City. Ogura Mio hands a neatly-wrapped package to a customer, no doubt containing an elaborate kimono inside. One of the city’s many stray dogs is taking a nap on the warm steps leading up to the police station, lazily rolling over onto its back and exposing its stomach. Two civilians are conversing with one of the doushin standing guard outside with severe expressions on their faces.

Heizou’s office was located at the end of the hall. You knock at the door and his response comes instantly.

“Who is it?”

“It’s (Y/N).”

The door slides open a few moments later and you’re greeted with the sight of his infectious smile behind his desk as he plays with the jutte he carries at all times.

As always, his office is a mess. Papers are carelessly scattered everywhere, leaving you unable to see the surface of his desk. Several books are stacked on the floor, acting as makeshift paperweights or lying face-down. The window behind his chair is open and with every gust of wind, the loose papers scattered throughout the room and those tacked to the bulletin board flutter and threaten to fly away.

“Honestly!” you groan. “It would do you good to clean your desk for once.”

You move a thick stack of papers and some books off of his desk until you’ve cleared enough space off his desk to sit. With a sly glance, he leans in closer, practically taunting you with that smug look on his face that never fails to get you riled up.

You pull him in by the collar of his shirt, teasing him, daring him, to test you. His hand sneaks around the back of your head, bringing you in for a heated kiss when you suddenly place a finger on his lips, mischief twinkling in your eyes. He whines, disappointment evident in his eyes as you pull away, chuckling to yourself.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, loverboy. We’re still at work.”

You quickly kiss his forehead and pluck the copy of today’s newspaper off his lap while he's distracted by it.

“Latest negotiation between Watatsumi and the Shogunate went well,” you quote. Beneath it, you saw another headline that caught your eye even more.

“Cold case solved after 20 years by Detective Shikanoin Heizou.”

You lightly swat his hand away, which was reaching for the newspaper. “Is this the case I saw you working on a few days ago?”

“That’s right! Now you can’t tell me I’m not making good use of my time!”

You flick him on the forehead and he yelps. “I wish I could say the same thing. The forensic team is absolutely dead right now. There are no autopsies to perform or samples to analyze, so all there is to do is organize paperwork, which I’ve been doing for the past hour and I’m sick of it.”

Ever since the end of the war, you’d seen a sharp drop in crime rates. Previously, you’d find yourselves swarmed with work every day, ranging from missing person reports to autopsies. While you love your job, being surrounded by dead bodies all day and the constant reminder that you were at war really took a toll on your mental health.

But you didn’t want to be bored out of your mind! You felt absolutely useless and desperately needed something to do

And amid your boredom and playful banter with Heizou, a genius idea that would allow you to both have some fun hits you.

“You know, I recall it took you longer than normal to solve this case.”

Heizou falls silent. His eye twitches and you can practically see the gears in his head processing your comment.

“What a shame,” you continue, laughing to yourself over how easily he was falling for your trap. “I think you’re losing your touch, Heizou.”

“I am not!” he protests, steam practically coming out of his ears as he fumes and puffs his cheeks out.

He looks like a child throwing a temper tantrum. How cute.

You quickly slide off his desk and into his lap, stroking his cheek. His hands find your waist and pull you closer and he gently bounces his leg up and down.

“But I know of a way to test your skills.”

He stops bouncing his leg.

“Let’s play a little game of hide and seek. You’ll be the seeker and I’ll be the hider.”

Heizou doesn’t even try to hide his amusement with that knowing smirk.

“Alright, I’ll bite. So, what are the rules?”

Dammit. You hadn’t thought this far yet.

“Um… first off, don’t disturb anyone in their office. Empty rooms are fair game but don’t hide in one being used by someone. Hiding outside is ok, but you can’t go onto the roof or into the city. Give me three minutes to hide and if you can’t find me within five minutes, the game ends.”

“And what’s the reward?”

“I don’t know,” you whisper into this ear. “What do you want it to be?”

“How about I leave it as a secret and have you find out later?”

He finishes with a sharp squeeze of your inner thigh. You let out an embarrassingly high-pitched squeak that he for sure gets a kick out of.

“Go on, then. Don’t make this too easy for me. I look forward to this little game of yours.”

You hurriedly slide off his lap, heart racing as you scurry out of his office. Behind the closed door, you could hear him counting.

Shit. What have you done? There’s no way you’d be able to outsmart him in a game like this, where he enjoyed the thrill of the chase.

But you were running out of time. You had to come up with something, and fast.

Think: if I were Heizou, what would I do?

If I were Heizou, I’d probably… hide in plain sight. Trail the criminal behind their backs until they’ve given up before apprehending them.

So you do just that. You sneak outside, avoiding the doushin, and hide behind some crates. A black cat wanders up to you and rubs its head against your leg, purring contentedly. You pause to stroke it, patting the base of its tail as it arches its back in bliss and meows. You’re about to stroke its ears when it suddenly perks up, alert, before dashing off. Mere moments later, you hear Heizou step outside as you had anticipated.

He looks around before heading left, disappearing behind the back of the building. You sneakily trail him in a circle behind his back as he examines behind crates and presses his face against windows, even circling back around and almost catching you at one point, until he’s at the front entrance again. Looking around one more time, he heads back inside.

You fidget. What now? Heading back inside would be part of your plan to trail him but this could all just be a ploy to lower your guard.

Then again, what would your superiors say if they found you outside like this…

You ultimately decide to head back inside. You were familiar with the floor plan and it’d save you the chance of being chewed out by Kujou Sara later. More importantly, while hiding outside was a good idea, it wasn’t a permanent solution. It’d only work for so long before Heizou would appear out of nowhere and catch you.

The doushin are looking the other way now, so you quickly sneak back inside. To your left are the offices while the laboratory is off to the right. You avoid the lab, which has delicate equipment and samples and make your way to your office.

As you make your way through the halls- avoiding Kujou Sara’s office and Heizou’s- a sudden realization hits you.

It’s been awfully silent this entire time. You haven’t seen or heard any sign of him since you went inside.

Has he been predicting your every move ever since the start of the game?

Either way, you were in too deep to chicken out now.

Glancing over your shoulder, you quickly enter your office. You consider locking the door behind you but decide that it wouldn’t be fair to him.

You glance at the clock on the wall. Three minutes had passed. Two minutes were remaining. The workday was almost over as well. Yes, you wanted to win but you weren’t going to stoop that low.

You settle into your chair and lean back. Maybe a small nap wouldn’t be so bad. The police station was vast and it’d take a while to walk from one end to the other. Heizou may be a prodigy detective, but time was against him.

You close your eyes. You feel your breaths getting deeper and your limbs getting heavier.

It’s only been a short while, but after some time, you feel someone’s presence beside you. They’re poking you incessantly and begrudgingly, you open your eyes, only to see Heizou smirking down at you, apple green eyes glinting.

Your sleepiness is gone in a flash. Awake now, you jolt upright and attempt to flee, only for him to pin you down against your desk.

“Found you.”

He dips and bites your neck with his sharp teeth. A strangled yelp escapes you. You cover your hand with your mouth but Heizou pushes it away.

“Don’t try and hide anything from me, (Y/N). I’ll make you confess every last dirty little sin of yours and I want to hear it.”

Heat crawls up your neck from his words. He bites and sucks at the soft skin, leaving marks for everybody to see. One of his hands trails down your chest to the waistband of your pants, where he teasingly tugs them down. Heizou’s touch leaves goosebumps in its wake and you shiver. He laughs at your reactions and you whine, slapping his arm.

“H-Heizou, please…”

“Look at you. I haven’t even touched you yet and you’re already a flustered mess.”

You pout and yank him forward by his choker. You press your thighs together in an attempt to alleviate the heat pooling between your legs and the action doesn’t go unnoticed by Heizou. His eyes darken in anticipation and lust and he pushes your thighs apart, hooking your legs around his waist.

“Tell me what you want. Ask nicely and remember- only good girls get what they want.”

“Just kiss me already,” you demand. Teasingly, his lips brush against yours gently. You growl in frustration and pull on his hair, eliciting a groan from him. Flat on your back now with your wrists pinned above your head, Heizou pants into the kiss, clumsily attempting to unbutton your shirt.

A loud knock at the door makes you both freeze, the haze clouding your minds instantly dissipating.

“Kujou Sara here.”

Your blood turns to ice in your veins. As the door starts to open, you finally react. You tug your wrist free from his grasp and push him away. He hides underneath your desk right as the door opens to reveal your boss standing in the doorway.

She nods in greeting. You nod back and discreetly try to make yourself look more presentable. You pray to the Shogun that she doesn’t notice your disheveled appearance or bruises littering your skin.

Briefly, you wonder if she already knows what just happened. If she does, she doesn’t show it or chooses to ignore it.

“Good afternoon, (Y/N). Have you finished those reports I asked for the other day?”

You nod and pull a stack of papers off from the side of your desk. As she accepts them, you feel something sharp pinch your inner thigh and it’s all you can do to not flinch.

She turns away momentarily and you take the opportunity to look down. Heizou’s resting his head on your lap, looking at you with a cunning smirk. A small bite mark on your skin makes you grit your teeth.

That bastard! He bit you!

Heizou was lucky you loved him otherwise you would’ve exposed him in front of his boss immediately.

“By the way, (Y/N).”

You turn towards her as Heizou plants butterfly kisses along your thigh, occasionally sinking his teeth into the soft flesh. A shiver goes up your spine and you fail to hide it in time. Sara raises an eyebrow and you laugh it off.

“Just cold, that’s all. Is something the matter?”

“... I thought I heard something coming from your office earlier. Did something happen?”

You shake your head, fighting back the heat that crept up your neck.

Don’t tell me she heard us…

“Have you seen Shikanoin Heizou? He’s been gone all day and I’ve been trying to track him down.”

You bite back a laugh at that. Heizou pokes you under the table and you kick him in return.

“I wish I did. If I see him, I’ll tell you.”

She nods her thanks and turns to leave. Halfway out though, she stops and casts a look at you over her shoulder. There’s a knowing look in her eyes and your heart sinks to your stomach..

“... I’d suggest keeping your voice down next time.”

And with that, she closes the door. Heizou bursts out laughing and re-emerges from his hiding spot. You push yourself up from your chair and storm over to the wall, hiding in the corner out of shame and embarrassment.

“Heizou, I hate you!” you wail as he buries his face into your shoulder from behind as an apology. “Couldn’t you have waited until we got home?”

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologies as he presses a kiss against your cheek. You bat him away with your fists but he easily holds your wrists in place and continues to leave cheeky kisses across your face.

“I’ll make it up to you when we get home, ok?

Heizou’s warm breath tickles your ear and he squeezes your wrists lightly.

“I promise it’ll be worth the wait.”

[theother-victoria]

LAST DAY OF SUMMER

SYNOPSIS: It’s the last day before your paths divulge, how will you remember it?

CHARACTERS: 5wirl

NOTES: I’ve started school so here’s one last fic before I inevitably die under the weight of assignments.

TAGS: Some angst, implied reincarnation in Venti’s and Xiao’s parts, pre-established relationships for all of them, gn reader

VENTI + ONE LAST SWIM

You are this close to punching Venti.

“Come on, (Y/N)! It’s the last day of summer, let’s do something fun!”

“Venti, I’m tired. I just want to take a nap.”

“Boo, that’s no fun! You’re such a killjoy!”

“And you’re a menace to my sanity,” you grumble as you put your phone on speaker. You hear Venti mumbling to himself on the other end before he comes up with an idea.

“Ooh, I know! How about we go swimming at the nearby lake? There’s no one there and the weather’s perfect today. Come on, what do you say?”

You’re silent for a few moments. He knows you can’t resist a good swim and you can practically see the shit-eating grin on his face.

He knew exactly what buttons to push, didn’t he?

“... Fine. I’ll be over in ten.”

And that’s how you find yourself sitting at the edge of the lake pier while Venti doggy-paddles in circles around you, a lazy smile stretching across his face. He dips beneath the surface and re-emerges after a few seconds, brushing his wet hair out of his face.

“Care to join me, Windblume? The water’s quite refreshing.”

He extends his hand out. The clear, smooth waters of the lake beckon you. With a leap of faith, you grasp his hand and he pulls you under the water with him.

After getting over the initial shock of cold water, you blink your eyes open to see Venti’s green eyes twinkling with mischief and love. Dappled light softly shines on him, making him look like an angel. He gently interlaces your hands together as he mouths something.

Close your eyes.

You do as you’re told and immediately you feel something warm barely brushing against your lips. The kiss is airy and cheeky, just like him. His enthusiasm is infectious and it soon rubs off onto you. You smile into the kiss, wanting to deepen it.

Venti feels so close yet so far away. He’s always there, just out of arm’s reach and tempting you. If you don’t find him in time, you feel he’ll slip away for good, disappearing into the wind.

The burning sensation in your lungs redirects your focus to more pressing, life-threatening matters, however…

You both resurface, gasping for air. Venti nips at your lips playfully before planting kisses across your face only seconds apart. You squeal and attempt to hide but he doesn’t relent and soon you melt into his arms. He knew how to strum your heartstrings like the master musician he is and you’d gladly dance to his tune again if only to spend more time with him.

You are his muse, his one and only. The time you two share is almost gone, so he’ll make the most of it before you head your own separate ways.

The sun is starting to set now. After drying you off, he gives you one last hug as fleeting as the kiss from before. Strangely, you feel as if this will be the last time you’ll see him.

“Our time together is running out, dearest. After today, we may never see each other again in this life or the next.”

Venti barks out a dry laugh. You look at him strangely.

Venti, who are you really?

“Even if this is our last time together in this life, I will always carry you in my heart and songs as my muse. You will be immortalized in songs that are sung across generations, telling of your kind soul and the endless love you had for others. One day, perhaps those tunes will be heard by you and you’ll remember the bard who loved you with his whole being.

“Now go. Travel the world and discover all it has to offer. Soar through the skies like the birds and lose yourself in adventure. I’ll await the day the winds lead me back to you again, but for now, please… forget about me.”

KAZUHA + POLAROIDS

“Why are you so obsessed with taking photos of me, love?”

A click from behind tells you your lover has yet again taken another photo of you.

“You look absolutely stunning, my dear. It would be a shame if I didn’t capture your beauty.”

He rests his head on your shoulder from behind. You feel him press kisses against your neck, smiling into the delicate skin. The camera hanging off his neck bumps against your back every time he moves and you find yourself reaching for it. He swipes it from your grasp and quickly snaps a picture of you two.

“Poetry and photography… you really are the most romantic man on this planet.”

Kazuha dives in for a kiss. He aims for your left cheek, then your right cheek, before attacking your chin, forehead, and nose. Finally, he lands on your lips. His white hair tickles your neck and you giggle against the kiss. He lingers for just a moment longer, allowing himself to take in everything that is you before pulling away, an enamored smile playing at the corner of his lips.

“Something tells me there’s another reason you enjoy taking photos of me. Is there?”

He falls silent, which is rare for your usually chatty lover.

“Taking photos is another way to preserve my memories of you. The seasons change, and so will we. There may come a day where fate does us apart and your memory of me becomes a hazy recollection lost to the winds of time.”

Your lover is an enigma, concealing his true meaning behind flowery words that you have to sift through and decipher. It would take a lifetime of practice to unveil his true self hidden under the expertly-crafted persona he’d perfected long ago.

And yet, he always lets his guard down around you. No concealing his emotions through poetry or downplaying his pain. Just you and him in your rawest, most vulnerable states, telling each other secrets and promises not even the gods would hear of.

“I want you to carry a piece of me as you go through life, so that you will remember me and know that somewhere out there, I’ll be searching for you.”

Kazuha looks down towards his camera before gazing back up at you with nothing but adoration and an unspoken promise in his eyes.

“No matter how far apart we are, I will always find my way back to you in some corner of the world.

“For the thread that binds you and I together is not one so easily severed.”

AETHER + WISHING ON SHOOTING STARS

“Isn’t it peaceful up here?”

A vast expanse of darkness greets your eyes with stars littering the sky like little pinpricks of light. Aether gently squeezes your hand in response.

“It is, but it’s about to get better.”

You don’t have to wait long. You see something white quickly streak across the sky, then another. Soon, the entire sky is filled with shooting stars, lighting up the darkness as they travel to their next destination.

“A meteor shower,” you breathe out. The grass and wildflowers tickle your skin as you shift closer to Aether’s side. He points to the sky at a particularly bright one taking its time traveling across the night sky.

“Quick, make a wish!”

You close your eyes. There’s only one thing you wish for: to stay by Aether’s side for as long as possible.

I wish to stay by his side forever. He is my sun, my sky, my entire universe. To take him away would be akin to killing me, so please, let me stay by his side.

I wish to stay by their side forever. You can take my limbs, my heart, my soul, but please don’t take them away from me. They are the reason I strive to live.

“What did you wish for?” you ask in a quiet whisper after a long while. The meteor shower has long since ended and you are playing with the end of Aether’s long braid. The sky above you is pitch-black so you can’t see the fond yet conflicted expression he makes as he pats your head.

“If I tell you, wouldn’t that jinx the wish?”

“Just spill it. I think I know what it is already.”

“The same thing as you. I wish to stay by your side forever.”

You grow quiet as you start playing with his hands. Aether falls silent too as he pulls you closer to his heart.

“... Is this goodbye? Is that why we both had the same wish?”

You tentatively asked the question in a hesitant voice, afraid that merely voicing it would ruin everything. To your surprise, he shakes his head.

“Don’t you see? We still have so much time left ahead of us. There's still so much we can explore together, so much we can do together that there’s no way this could be goodbye.

“This isn’t goodbye. Not for a long time. So let’s not call it that, for we will meet again.”

XIAO + BEACH VISIT

Cold water laps at your ankles as the waves splash against your skin, then recede. The wet sand dips beneath your feet, leaving footprints behind.

“Xiao, look at the setting sun over the horizon. Isn’t it pretty?”

He gruffly nods, silent and sullen as always. You gently tug on his pinky with your interlocked one, nudging him forward along the coastline. Seagulls land and peck at the sand for anything to scavenge and Xiao shoos them away with his foot.

At some point, he breaks free from your grasp and wanders off without you knowing. It’s only when you’re in the middle of building a sandcastle and need his help that you realize he’s gone off somewhere.

“Xiao? I kind of need your help-”

When you notice he’s not there, you look behind and see he’s some distance away from the shoreline holding something. He seems to be… speaking to it?

Abandoning your sandcastle, you walk over to see what he’s up to. The tips of his ears are strangely flushed red and when you place a hand on his shoulder, he jolts, startled by the touch.

“What’re you up to, Xiao?”

There, you see he’s holding a seashell. A Starconch, to be exact.

“Here,” he mumbles, holding it out to you. “There’s an old Liyuean legend that if you speak into a seashell, it’ll record your voice.”

You hold it to your ear and listen. There, you hear something you thought you never would.

“I’ve seen many people come and go throughout the years, yet the thought of never being able to see you again makes me feel… conflicted. I have been thinking about this for a long time now and I have finally arrived at a conclusion.

“Many years ago, I was given a name. You showed me the meaning behind it. I was given a second chance to live. You gave me the will to live. I could not dream; I only had nightmares, yet my first dream was one of you. In times of peace, I found myself unable to put down my spear. You showed me how. Stuck in the past, I was unable to adapt to changing times and continued to be haunted by lingering regrets. You led the way and showed me how to let go of the past. I owe a debt of gratitude to you, (Y/N), that I can never pay back. All I can do is be there when you need me.

“If you wish to see me again, simply call my name and I will be there, no matter where or who you are. That is my vow, and one I will fulfill until my dying breath.”

HEIZOU + CATCHING FIREFLIES

Inazuma is unusually warm and humid at this time of year.

The tall grass still wet from today’s rain tickles your ankles as you run through the open field catching fireflies. Heizou leans against the side of the large tree, counting how many he’s collected already. One of the city’s many stray Shibas rolls over onto its back, asking him for belly rubs. He quickly obliges and ruffles the soft fur as the Shiba barks happily while wagging its tail.

“Man alive, I think you’ve beaten me! Just look at how many you’ve caught.”

He holds his jar out to you for examination. There’s a lot, yes, but yours beats him by a long shot. Fireflies occupy almost every corner of space in yours, vying for space against each other.

“As a reward, I’ll answer any question you want me to!”

You shoot him a look. He quickly (and wisely) responds with an “Honestly! I’ll answer anything you want me to honestly, whether it be about my childhood, who the latest suspect I’m chasing down is, or who ate the last dango yesterday.”

You glare at him after the last part.

The sun has fully set and the moon is high in the sky now. Fireflies gently brush against the sides of your jar. You pop the lid open and the cool sea breeze scatters them, blinking and lighting up the darkness in fluorescent green. Heizou does the same, the fireflies escaping into the sky like a sea of glowing lanterns. They twinkle and blink intermittently, resembling the shimmering sea. Your constellations gleam brightly overhead as the fireflies disappear out of your sight, blending in with the stars themselves.

Long after the fireflies have disappeared, you come to a question that’s been on your mind lately.

“What’s your opinion on fate and destiny?”

From the look on Heizou’s face, he must’ve known that you were going to ask him that. You see him thinking underneath the moonlight before he smiles once he reaches a conclusion.

“The gods do not predetermine fate and destiny, nor are coincidences simply coincidences. Rather, they are the cumulation of all our choices leading up to a single, decisive moment. While our paths may divulge for now, I will work to ensure that they cross again someday.

“Even if we are worlds apart, my intuition will always lead me back to you. Because you see the reason why I strive to create my own destiny.”

[theother-victoria]

KISS ME THRU THE PHONE

SYNOPSIS: Albedo always finds a way to say “I love you” even if he’s not there physically

TAGS: nothing but tooth-rotting fluff, modern au, gn reader

A/N: where are my winter storm buddies at 🙋‍♀️ this one goes out to you

We didn’t get a lot of snow we just got a bunch of freezing cold wind lmao

This was written as part of the Yae Publishing House’s Ice and Snow writing event!

“So… your flight got canceled and now you’re snowed in?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

You hear Albedo sigh on the other end of the phone. A few weeks ago, he had departed for Liyue to meet with an author he was working with. He left with a kiss on the cheek and a promise to return home before Christmas Eve but now…

“The snowstorm did unfortunately hit Liyue. They predicted it wouldn’t, but turns out that was wrong. I should be home within the next three or so days.”

It’s your turn to sigh now. The fireplace was lit, the tree was decorated with ornaments and lights, and you even had cookies baking in the oven. Yet it didn’t feel complete with Albedo missing and knowing that he would be gone for such an important season left a bitter taste in your mouth.

“I know, it’s just that I… miss you.”

“I miss you too, (Y/N). There’s nothing I wouldn’t give to be back at home spending the holidays with you and Klee right now.”

You hear the sound of footsteps from upstairs and crane your neck upwards to see Klee standing at the top of the stairs, pillow and Dodoco plushie in hand. She rubs her eyes sleepily and yawns.

“Klee, I thought you were asleep?”

“I was, but I thought I heard you talking to big brother Albedo. Klee wants to speak to him too!”

You sigh and beckon her over. She immediately scurries down the stairs and practically flies towards the couch, landing on the cushions with a loud “oof” before clambering into your lap.

“Big brother Albedo! It’s Klee! I miss you so, so, so, so much! When are you going to come home?”

He laughs. “Hello, Klee. I miss you too. I already told (Y/N) that I’ll be back home within the next three days, so you won’t have to wait much longer. But how are the holidays going for you?”

“It was so much fun! Yesterday, Diona came over and we had a snowball fight. Then, we gave each other presents and had a sleepover!”

“That sounds like a lot of fun, Klee.”

“It was. I can’t wait to see what Diona gave me!”

She pauses for a moment, furrowing her brows and staring up at the ceiling like she was deep in thought.

“Big brother Albedo, I wanna see you!”

You hear a barely suppressed chuckle in his voice. “I can arrange for that.”

Albedo abruptly ends the call, much to your surprise, and a few seconds later, your phone buzzes with an incoming video call. Klee giddily makes grabby hands at your phone and you hand it to her. She hits accept and her face instantly lights up upon seeing him.

You quietly slide off the couch and into the kitchen to check on the cookies. As Klee gushes about her day to Albedo, you pull out the frosting sitting in the fridge you had prepared earlier and get to work decorating the cookies. Klee must have smelled them because soon after, she comes waddling into the kitchen with an expectant look in her eyes.

“Look, big brother. (Y/N) made cookies! Can I have one? Pretty please?”

You glance at the clock. 9:45 pm. It was already way past Klee’s bedtime, but since it was the holidays, you’ll make an exception.

“Just this once. But promise me you’ll go to bed after this, ok? The sooner you go to sleep, the sooner you’ll be able to open your presents.”

She quickly finishes it and as promised, heads upstairs to bed after you give her a goodnight kiss on the forehead. With your phone back and Klee asleep, you finally have the chance to talk to Albedo. His gaze instantly softens and you’re unable to stop yourself from smiling like a lovesick fool at the sight. His bangs are pushed back with a headband and he has a sheet mask on his face. You have to stifle a laugh at the sight of it.

“Hello, dearest. I hope taking care of Klee hasn’t been too exhausting.”

You shake your head. “No, it hasn’t. She’s just excited because it’s Christmas, but she’s been well-behaved.”

Getting up, you head towards the storage room underneath the stairs and pull out Klee’s presents hiding in the back. He must have seen them because he raises an eyebrow.

“Are those Klee’s presents? What did you get her?”

“Just a new Dodoco plushie and some colored pencils she’s been eyeing for a while now,” you reply as you set them down under the tree.

“Well then, where’s my present?”

You look at him strangely. He has a slight smirk on his face that tells you he knows exactly what he’s doing. Normally, he’s not this forward, but maybe the distance was getting to him?

You roll your eyes and blow him a kiss.

“Here’s your present for now. Hurry up and come home so I can give you the real one.”

Albedo laughs at the action, a sweet and pure sound that has your heart involuntarily fluttering.

“Thank you, my love. I promise I’ll be back home as soon as possible.”

You yawn and Albedo takes notice of it.

“It must be getting late over there. I’ll let you go to sleep now-”

“Can you stay with me for a little bit longer?”

He pauses at your question, then smiles.

“Of course. Is there anything you’d like to talk about?”

You settle back down on the couch and stare out the window, where the first snow is beginning to fall, promising a white Christmas.

Klee will surely be excited to wake up to it, you think.

“Anything really. How are the holidays celebrated in Liyue?”

He hums. “It’s not as significant of a holiday over here, but they still celebrate it to an extent. I passed by the harbor the other day at night and it was aglow with festive lights and decorations. It was quite the sight and I hope to bring you there next year to witness it for yourself.”

“Mm. I’d love to see it for myself too.”

The clock ticks away in the back and the roaring fire is slowly reduced to mere embers. The snow piles up outside until all you can see is a blanket of pristine white coating everything within sight.

And despite being oceans away, you feel as if Albedo is right next to you and with that, you don’t feel quite as lonely anymore.

“Hey, Albedo?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“And I love you too, dearest. Go to sleep now and when you wake, I’ll be back home. Don’t miss me too much now, ok?

“Goodnight, (Y/N), and may you be blessed with the sweetest of dreams tonight.”

[theother-victoria]

Thank you everyone for the overwhelmingly positive feedback on What Once Was! I wasn’t expecting it to be that popular but since it is, I wanted to share some of my thought process and where I took inspiration for some of the scenes.

@snobwaffles tagged as u requested <3

For starters, I really enjoyed how the Hoyoverse writers didn’t give Scaramouche a typical redemption arc. I know many people were saying it was one and it did feel like one, but you take a closer look at the writing and realize it isn’t one because of one key difference: he is not forgiven by anyone. Part of it is due to the erasure of himself from Irminsul and the fact that those he needs to apologize to are dead 💀 ok well maybe Kazuha and the Kamisato siblings but we’ll see how their future interactions go.

This is debatable because redemption arcs are inherently a personal thing (to the character) and I could delve into a whole analysis on the quest and his character, but the most important thing in regards to “What Once Was” is that rather than “redemption,” “acceptance” is a better word for his development. I went through great pains to ensure (Name) did not come off as forgiving or disdainful after finding out the truth because a.) the former feels rather cheesy and for a story that focused on him rather than the reader, it would feel cheap and b.) the latter is a disappointing and unrealistic response in that situation.

Rather, I wanted them to be understanding. They empathize with the pain he’s gone through and understand his past self’s actions, but that doesn’t necessarily equate to forgiveness.

If you read closely, you’ll notice that (Name) never says “I forgive you” to him. The most they say is “why should I abandon you?” because they understand that he is trying to change himself for the better and that is enough to accompany him for the rest of his journey.

There’s a bit more about the ending (where I took specific lines from, etc) but that’ll be at the end of this post.

(Explanations for the rest of the story utc broken down by region)

act i: mondstadt

There’s not too much to discuss in this one tbh 💀 Mondstadt is relatively straightforward in comparison to the other two regions but there’s still a couple of Easter eggs hidden here and there.

For the descriptions of Mondstadt and the rest of the nations, I just opened up the game and described what I was seeing to the best of my abilities- it took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to do so 💀

The first place (Name) and Ena go to is Thousand Winds Temple and I chose it for the sole reason that it was where Scaramouche made his first appearance in the “Unreconciled Stars” event. The historical significance of it also aligns perfectly with Akademiya (Name) doing their research at the time. Starsnatch Cliff, the next location he brings them to is also a popular getaway for couples in Mondstadt, so I added that for a cute romantic touch.

Did you catch the reference to Kaeya at Angel’s Share? How about Venti upon entering Mondstadt? There’s cameos from other characters throughout the entire story- did you catch them all?

Their last stop in Mondstadt- the top of the cathedral- is a reference to Amber’s birthday art actually! It was that one chibi art of her and the traveler sitting atop the church and Amber pointing out how a perfect view of all of Mondstadt could be seen.

act ii: liyue

I was writing Liyue when the Lantern Rite event was happening so I took extra measures to recreate that familiar festive spirit when describing the harbor and the celebrations. I actually drew upon my own experiences and some of what I’ve witnessed when writing this part, along with stories my parents have told me.

The biggest one is the releasing of the Mingxiao lanterns at the end. While Ena and (Name) write their wishes on them before releasing them, he also mentions how the people of Liyue have a tradition of writing riddles on them. This is a direct reference to a tradition in real life! Ever since the 6th century, festivals celebrating the Lantern Festival in China would have a popular activity of guessing lantern riddles (which became part of the festival itself during the Tang Dynasy), and it’s still done today in major cities such as Chengdu, Hangzhou, and Shanghai.

The releasing of lanterns can also symbolize people letting go of their past selves and getting new ones, so it could also be interpreted that Ena is doing this in order to further let go of who he was and embrace who he is today.

There was also a tradition in the early days where matchmakers would pair young people together in hopes of creating couples and the brightest lanterns were symbolic of good luck and hope so interpret that as you please 🤭

act iii: inazuma

This is where the bulk of the symbolism lies and also the chapter that gave me the biggest headache

The Statue of the Omnipresent God in Inazuma City which they pay a visit to early on clearly doesn’t look like the Shogun. Ever since Inazuma came out, there’s been a theory going around that the statue is meant to be Istaroth, the God of Wind and Time, especially with the Eye of the Storm necklace it has. It’s the theory that’s the most credible especially after Act 2 of Shogun’s story quest with the lore drop of Istaroth helping to get the Sacred Sakura Tree planted and it’s who I had in mind when writing it (the rhetorical question of who it’s supposed to be), but there’s also other theories out there.

The ringing of a bell at a Shinto shrine is meant to alert the gods to your wishes. In that sense, Ena is basically asking for his mom’s help 💀

I googled what the term “prodigal” meant and by extension, “prodigal son” and I got some interesting results. A prodigal son/daughter is someone who leaves home and behaves recklessly, but later makes a repentant return. Scaramouche definitely fits the former part, but he hasn’t really made a repentant return unless you count the Traveler whooping his ass, much less to Inazuma where after the developments of the archon quest, really wouldn’t serve much purpose because no one of importance would remember him. The Biblical parable of the Prodigal Son is similar. A son receives his inheritance (is being the Shogun’s creation a form of inheritance in terms of exalted status?), travels to a distant country (Snezhnaya, Mondstadt, Sumeru, basically the rest of Tevyat), wasted all his money in wild extravagance, becomes desperately poor (his humiliating defeat in Sumeru), returns to his father, and is received with open arms.

He fits the definition quite well, but it’s clear he’s not quite done with his journey as there’s still parts of the definition that he hasn’t met yet. Ena has definitely moved past the leaving home and behaving recklessly part, but he hasn’t made a repentant return home yet, which is what I wanted to write in the Inazuma chapter.

The ending of the archon quest ends with him remarking that Nahida seems to have his whole life planned out for him, which made me wonder what he would do after owning up to the consequences of his actions and is what served as the basis of this story. Inazuma is where I really got to explore this idea, especially when returning to Tatarasuna that is the ultimate manifestation of his guilt. This is the part that is meant to represent his repentant return home, but unlike the Biblical definition, he does not return home to his father (mother). But similar to the Biblical definition, he is welcomed back with open arms- in this case, the ghosts of the residents of Tatarasuna. In that sense, the Tatarasuna arc represents the end of his journey as the prodigal son and now, he is free to become who he wants.

act iv: sumeru

Nahida was… surprisingly hard to write despite only having a few lines. It took some input from others to get her personality down just right. The smart cookie line is probably my favorite one <3

The voicelines that (Name) hears when witnessing Ena’s memories are the same ones he heard when he was recovering them, but I also added some from Dottore and his character teaser + the iconic “are you dead or just stupid” line.

For the ending scene, I actually took reference from two fanmade comics. For the “What do you do with a broken doll” lines, I took that from @/4dango’s (twt and insta) comic titled “Kagome Kagome” and expanded on the idea that perhaps starting over is the best idea sometimes. @/emaiiyaru’s (insta) comic “atoning for my (your) sins” was where I derived the idea of letting go for the sake of your happiness from. I saw their comics early on and combining the two formed the ending I was working toward for three months.

Anyway, those were thoughts and inspirations as I was writing that behemoth of a fic. I hope you enjoyed reading this and learned a thing or two in the process!

[theother-victoria]

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